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For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity

4.29  ·  Rating details ·  1,692 ratings  ·  271 reviews
A nonfiction investigation into masculinity, For the Love of Men provides actionable steps for how to be a man in the modern world while also exploring how being a man has evolved.

In 2019, traditional masculinity is both rewarded and sanctioned. Men grow up being told that boys don’t cry and dolls are for girls. They learn they must hide their feelings and anxieties, that
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Published September 10th 2019 by Macmillan Audio
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Alison C How women would feel about a book called "For the Love of Women: A New Vision for Mindful Femininity", written by a man, would likely depend very much…moreHow women would feel about a book called "For the Love of Women: A New Vision for Mindful Femininity", written by a man, would likely depend very much on the actual content of the book. You don't suggest what that content would be, so I find your question irrelevant. In modern democratic countries, women and men can generally write on any topic they choose. Of course, whether the resulting books are useful/ well-written is a different matter. (less)
Cavak After watching about some of her videos, yes and no. She'll repeat her TedxTalk topics, but she will also go more in depth about them in ways that go …moreAfter watching about some of her videos, yes and no. She'll repeat her TedxTalk topics, but she will also go more in depth about them in ways that go beyond soundbite and stage presentation length. Like including citations and updating information, for starters.

It's also centering on masculine mentalities in modern culture. While feminism does appear to compare with it, that's not the key goal of the book like some of her previous public presentations.

And it helps that For the Love of Men includes other men lending their personal testimonies. So, you'll get more than Plank with this one.(less)
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Caroline
I’ve read many life-changing nonfiction books. Eating Animals converted me to vegetarianism immediately. Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town enlightened me on rape and the broken criminal justice system. The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence taught me about listening to gut feelings to stay safe. I could go on. But For the Love of Men turned on its head everything I knew about males and their place in this world. It was, in every sense of the word, ...more
Shruti
Sep 01, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Shruti by: Caroline
READ THIS BOOK. Seriously, it should be required reading. If there was a way for every person in the world to get their hands on this book, the world would be a much better place.

"The factory we put boys through in order to turn them into men is global, and the urgency of exposing and disrupting it could very well be the paramount test of our time."

For the Love of Men is educational, eye-opening and engaging—all at once. When I started reading it, I couldn't put it down and I can't say that abo
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Eli
Drop everything: This is the most important book of the year, and you need to read it.

Liz Plank pulls out the big guns in her first book, incorporating her international travel experiences, social experiments, various interviews, and well-cited research surrounding masculinity. Coming from an outsider's perspective, she approaches masculinity from every angle, peppering throughout her book interviews with a wide range of men, including a transgender man, a gay black disabled man, a mixed Native
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rosa guac
conversations around masculinity are pivotal in our efforts to imagine a radical & transformative world. and with this book, liz plank gives us a fascinating, data-driven, anecdotal, and expansive account for why that is.

mainly written for men, i thought this book did a strong deep dive into the harmful ways that masculinity is misdirected towards violence and death (patriarchy is literally killing men and women!)

while so many conversations that i've had about feminism and gender center around
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Holly Hillard
Dec 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I think this might be one of the most important books I read this year. I’m sure everyone has experienced some version of the belief that “liberals” or “feminists” are trying to take away masculinity. Or that we are trying to feminize men. The phrase “toxic masculinity” has become one of those things that shuts down conversations. Well, everyone needs to read this book. Her examination of masculinity- what it is and what it isn’t- and the problems that men face was fascinating and thought provok ...more
Sandra
Jan 18, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Sandra by: Caroline
Shelves: 2020, non-fiction, 5-stars
Toxic masculinity is not only hurting women. It is also harming men. In the same way gender equality doesn't benefit only women, but also men. Th search for gender equality seen as a war between men and women is a consequence of a noxious concept of what being a man means we all grow up with. Is not about women conquering spaces that belong to men, but the new spaces we all win over. Gender equality should be understood as a war against the harmful notions and expectations that wound us all.

This
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J
Plank overreaches. This unfortunately is not a good book.

— She is a woman trying to understand the experience of men, but this will never happen, just as men will never understand the experience of women. Swimming in her inflated sense of understanding, she advises men on how better to be men. The nobler, respectful, and compassionate approach is to acknowledge that despite our many unifying similarities, there are a small number of critical differences between men and women. These differences s
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Kara Babcock
Huge note: Since writing this review, I’ve actually come out as transgender! So, uh, enjoy all the parts here where I laughably reaffirm my cis-ness! I will revise this review at some point. (Note to future Kara: actually do that.)

I received this book as a gift from a friend who shares my interest in feminism. She found For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity somewhat revelatory. Like me, she had already begun thinking about masculinity (we had both watched The Mask You Live In
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Jeff Shackelford
For the most part, I’ve done a pretty good job evolving past some the negative thoughts, words, or phrases that plague men today. However, I wanted to read this book to give me a better understanding of why I am struggling to make strong connections with other men, even as I’ve worked to reach out over the last five plus years. After reading Liz’s book, my struggle largely makes sense. The foundation for some of these reasons are centuries old, but many come from recent history (100-150 years). ...more
Becca
Feb 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A great way to dip your toes in if you’re just getting into the topics of gender equality, toxic masculinity, gender roles, and feminism. The author provides mounds of research to educate those who read this book. Should be required reading for everyone!
Ekansh Gupta
Feb 02, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
"We're more comfortable seeing a young boy play with a toy gun than a toy doll"
This book makes the case that men tend to do better in more feminist societies and how traditional gender roles are harming men as well. The book talks in a straightforward fashion, cites numerous studies and throws shade at Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro and other alt-right figures who have made claims in the past that a lack of traditional gender roles is emasculating young men and contributing to their misery. Liz Pl
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Jim Angstadt
Feb 02, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2020
For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity
Liz Plank

This seems like an important discussion on how men can change and adapt to a better, broader understanding of who or what we want to become. Sex is what we are born with; gender is what/who we are.

I had a hard time mentally unifying the diverse elements the author presented, all in the name of mindful masculinity.
Allister Mason
Aug 08, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
"Patriarchy may not hurt equally, but it hurts everyone."

I enjoyed this read a lot and Liz Plank gives an excellent overview of much of the toxic aspects of masculinity in a modern setting. She is able to discuss a serious topic in a fairly light tone and accessible level.

The book gives an overview of how much of what society expects of men and men expect of themselves is often to their detriment (and even death with the high rates of "deaths of despairs" seen among men, particularly white work
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Stephanie Bailey
Sep 09, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: goddess-circle
The world would be a better place if everyone would read, absorb, and discuss this book. Liz Plank thoroughly investigates the many areas where traditional masculine norms are harming and/or inhibiting men and women alike, and while she includes several zappy one-liners that are laugh-out-loud worthy, she also lends a sincere empathy to men for the way society has imposed impossible expectations on them, which I believe is critical to ensuring the conversation about gender norms is inviting and ...more
Hannah
Jul 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Listened to this book with my partner. Relevant information for anyone.
Laila (BigReadingLife)
I picked this up because I heard and enjoyed an interview with Plank on Sam Sanders’s It’s Been a Minute podcast. Sadly, this book disappointed. The premise is great. We definitely do a disservice to all of us by how we raise and socialize men in America. This plays out in so many ways. If we encouraged boys and men to freely feel and express a range of emotions we would probably have much less violence in our society, for example. And I do like her attention to race and lgbtq experiences. But t ...more
Elaine
Nov 02, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019, nonfiction
I have spent my entire life around men: 5 brothers, senior leadership positions for over 20 years where I was the only female in the room. I thought that this experience meant that I understood men. I had read all about venus and mars, studied male-driven cultures, learned to golf and to talk trash about football.

But, only raising a son allowed me to see that I knew very little, and that what I knew might be very wrong. Therefore, I have greatly valued those books that allowed me to rip away my
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Mehrsa
Oct 04, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read the history of misogyny a while back and it was written by a man and he explained that it was fitting for a man to write that history because they invented it. So I was willing to go along with Plank on masculinity, but there really is nothing new or insightful in here. I agree with the thesis that the rigid notions of masculinity are hurting men and we should change them, but that seems like an empty notion. How to change? What to replace them with? I have ideas about these things, but I ...more
Tracy
Feb 05, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is one of the most important books for our society today. We all need to be more mindful and compassionate as a whole.
Andrew
Sep 07, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity, by Liz Plank, is a book discussing masculinity in the modern world, and more specifically, the harms of toxic masculinity in human society. This book is interesting, because it discusses how toxic masculinity is not only harmful for women, but also for men. Men experience shorter lives on average, see their doctor less, are more likely to commit suicide (by a staggeringly high degree), and experience issues with talking about emotion, co ...more
Barred Owl Books
“Liz Plank is leading a vital debate about gender, power and feminism in a style that opens wider dialogue and reaches beyond the politically converted. She also shows it's entirely possible to have fun while tackling challenges like gender norms and cultural repression. Liz has established herself as a leader and an expert in the field of gender politics -- all without conforming to some of the old rules about what it means to be an expert. Whether you find yourself nodding in agreement or laug ...more
Wadia
Aug 02, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
everyone should read this!!! Read this with my 14 year old brother and we had some great discussions about toxic masculinity and the pressures that accompany “”being a man”” also great to think about some of the small ways I also perpetuate harmful gender norms.... definitely going to read more and be more mindful of the way I interact with people
Mike
Feb 19, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Thoroughly (like, SO thoroughly) researched, well presented with the right amount of humor and frustration mixed in, and utterly compelling, even if you were already convinced at the outset. This is a book for men and women alike, and it lays out very explicitly the many areas of our culture that are affected by harmful ideas of idealized masculinity.
Ben
Sep 10, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction, netgalley
Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for an ARC.

I was really excited by the description and topic of this book, and think it's absolutely something we need more discussion about. And yet I was disappointed with the execution of this. There's a lot of good points here, but it's written in a very dense style that's a little more academic and less pragmatic than I had wanted. There's plenty of great interviews here with a variety of different perspectives on modern masculinity, but also one w
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Mindy
Oct 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I knew I would like this book, because I really enjoy following Liz Plank on Instagram, but I didn't expect to be as blown away by it as I was. Such a fantastic read! Engaging, thought-provoking, and well-researched, this book challenges the way you've thought about men and masculinity. What struck me most about the book, though, was how genuinely her love for men as human beings comes through in every chapter. While she doesn't give anyone a pass for bad behavior, she digs down to the root caus ...more
Kamil
Jul 01, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
thanks for this advanced copy goodreads!

very thorough, much informative and eye-opening even when you already know about most stuff discussed in this book: from parental leave to social norms, abuse etc.
Katie Jankowski
Liz brings up a lot of good points, but the book sounded sort of preachy. While her theories definitely seem like they have some standing, they can't necessarily be generalized across all men. Overall, an interesting read, but you need to take it with a grain of salt.
Chris Ringeisen
Sep 15, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019
This book is two things.

1. A non-fiction treatise on Toxic Masculinity and prescriptive, idealized, traditionally stereotypical and performative ways Men unhealthily navigate a changing world.

2. An Pop-feminism introduction to Gender Equality and Feminism as a means to that end, even for men.

As a male feminist I'm left wondering who this book is for. Women who think #allmenaretrash? Men who prefer to identify as "egalitarians" unironically or any Men's Rights sub-culture?

I certainly found the bo
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Sherrie
***I won this book in a Goodreads Giveaway***

Aaah, gender. Perhaps the only topic that gets people as riled up as politics and religion.

This book looks at the effect the modern world has on men and how traditional masculinity is really failing at giving them ways to deal. It touches on everything from parenting to religious extremism to navigating the workplace when women are around. Each chapter was well researched from a variety of sources: neuroscience, political polls, sociological studies.
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Steph
Oct 06, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book opens up a conversation that is necessary in today’s world. The author dives into how the concept of “being a man” has been preset by societal constructions and expectations that hurt not only men, but women and children as well. Through detailed studies, stories, and guest self reflection, she proves how deeply engrained some dangerous expectations about men can be. She encourages her readers to think about alternative ways to raise boys, have men interact with their partners, and mor ...more
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