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The Wanting Life
Father Paul, a gay priest, reflects on his life while his sister and niece grapple with the life choices they've made.
Set in Rome, Cape Cod, and Wisconsin over the course of the summer of 2009 and in Rome during the spring of 1970, The Wanting Life tells the intertwined story of three members of the Novak family: Father Paul, a closeted gay Catholic priest who's dying of cancer and has secrets he desperately wants to share; Britta, his self-destructive sister and caretaker, who's struggling to find meaning in a world without her beloved husband; and Maura, Britta's daughter--a thirty-nine-year-old artist who's facing a choice between her husband and two children or the man she believes is her one, true love.
Featuring one of most unconventional love stories you'll read this year, The Wanting Life is both a compulsively readable family drama about the toll that secrets and loyalty can take on us and a gorgeous meditation on the comforts (and limits) of faith and intimacy that calls to mind novels like Marilynne Robinson's Home, Alice McDermott's Charming Billy, and Julian Barnes' The Sense of an Ending.
Set in Rome, Cape Cod, and Wisconsin over the course of the summer of 2009 and in Rome during the spring of 1970, The Wanting Life tells the intertwined story of three members of the Novak family: Father Paul, a closeted gay Catholic priest who's dying of cancer and has secrets he desperately wants to share; Britta, his self-destructive sister and caretaker, who's struggling to find meaning in a world without her beloved husband; and Maura, Britta's daughter--a thirty-nine-year-old artist who's facing a choice between her husband and two children or the man she believes is her one, true love.
Featuring one of most unconventional love stories you'll read this year, The Wanting Life is both a compulsively readable family drama about the toll that secrets and loyalty can take on us and a gorgeous meditation on the comforts (and limits) of faith and intimacy that calls to mind novels like Marilynne Robinson's Home, Alice McDermott's Charming Billy, and Julian Barnes' The Sense of an Ending.
295 pages, paperback
Published February 25, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
November 29, 2020
In reading The Wanting Life – a revelatory debut that touched me deeply — I couldn't help but think it is also a quintessentially American story that focuses on being faithful to one’s commitments versus pursuing one’s most passionate desire.
Mark Rader tackles his theme from three angles. Father Paul, an exemplary gay Catholic priest, in the last days of his life, is overcome with regret about his life. As a young man, he is faced with a devastating choice: choosing personal happiness with a man named Luca or serving a so-called “higher purpose”,
His adult niece, Maura, has her own conundrum. As a long-time wife and mother – with a son who has emotional issues – her choice is to do what’s considered the right thing and stay in her marriage or cast her fate with a fellow artist who truly makes her happy.
And finally, there is Britta – Paul’s widowed sister and Maura’s mother – who was able to experience what eludes the other two: a passionate, healthy love. Yet with her husband’s sudden death, she is forced to struggle with her loss of happiness just as powerfully as the others struggle with that happiness being robbed from them.
These are real characters with raw emotions and all three are crafted beautifully by an author who obviously knows and cares about his creations. The descriptions of emotional upheaval and physical desire and visceral struggles are wonderfully achieved. In quoting the poet Ruth Stone at the start of his novel, Mr. Rader shoes: “To want is to believe there is something worth getting// Whereas getting only shows how worthless the thing is.” This is a novel of authentic psychological complexity
Mark Rader tackles his theme from three angles. Father Paul, an exemplary gay Catholic priest, in the last days of his life, is overcome with regret about his life. As a young man, he is faced with a devastating choice: choosing personal happiness with a man named Luca or serving a so-called “higher purpose”,
His adult niece, Maura, has her own conundrum. As a long-time wife and mother – with a son who has emotional issues – her choice is to do what’s considered the right thing and stay in her marriage or cast her fate with a fellow artist who truly makes her happy.
And finally, there is Britta – Paul’s widowed sister and Maura’s mother – who was able to experience what eludes the other two: a passionate, healthy love. Yet with her husband’s sudden death, she is forced to struggle with her loss of happiness just as powerfully as the others struggle with that happiness being robbed from them.
These are real characters with raw emotions and all three are crafted beautifully by an author who obviously knows and cares about his creations. The descriptions of emotional upheaval and physical desire and visceral struggles are wonderfully achieved. In quoting the poet Ruth Stone at the start of his novel, Mr. Rader shoes: “To want is to believe there is something worth getting// Whereas getting only shows how worthless the thing is.” This is a novel of authentic psychological complexity
February 1, 2020
“The Wanting Life”, by Mark Rader, tells the story of Father Paul Kovak, a seventy year old parish priest who is dying from an inoperable tumor. As Father Paul grapples with his impending mortality, he reflects on his life and finds regret for the things he didn’t do and sadness about the roads he didn’t take, particularly during the time he studied in Rome.
I was initially intrigued by this premise because of the Rome setting; a favorite city of mine. I have also known several American priests who studied there so that setting was also familiar.
Rader crafts a beautiful character study of Father Paul revealing his inner conflicts, temptations, dreams, and disappointments with generosity and empathy. As Father Paul assesses his own motivations, failures and rationalizations, the reader can easily understand him on a human level. What would we regret if we received such a diagnosis?
Father Paul’s sister, Britta, is by his side as his health and physical abilities decline. Her character is seen only through her brother’s eyes until almost the end of the novel. Prior to that we have the point of view from Maura, Britta’s troubled daughter and Paul’s cherished niece.
What is interesting about Maura’s section is that she finds herself at a cross-roads similar to what Paul experienced years ago: should she “blow up her life” in the pursuit of personal happiness? Prepare to be ambivalent about Maura. Rader writes her internal monologue so well that I had conflicting feelings about her and her ultimate choice.
When I finally got to Britta’s section, I was deeply moved; I don’t cry reading often, but I choked up here. Anyone who has had the privilege of being beside someone they love while they are dying, will identify with the honor that Britta feels to be beside her brother.
Rader’s prose is beautiful and luscious without being slow. His deftly constructed characters’ inner thoughts are vividly and humanely rendered. What a touching and thought-provoking novel. The choices that Paul and Maura make would make for fascinating book club discussion!
I was initially intrigued by this premise because of the Rome setting; a favorite city of mine. I have also known several American priests who studied there so that setting was also familiar.
Rader crafts a beautiful character study of Father Paul revealing his inner conflicts, temptations, dreams, and disappointments with generosity and empathy. As Father Paul assesses his own motivations, failures and rationalizations, the reader can easily understand him on a human level. What would we regret if we received such a diagnosis?
Father Paul’s sister, Britta, is by his side as his health and physical abilities decline. Her character is seen only through her brother’s eyes until almost the end of the novel. Prior to that we have the point of view from Maura, Britta’s troubled daughter and Paul’s cherished niece.
What is interesting about Maura’s section is that she finds herself at a cross-roads similar to what Paul experienced years ago: should she “blow up her life” in the pursuit of personal happiness? Prepare to be ambivalent about Maura. Rader writes her internal monologue so well that I had conflicting feelings about her and her ultimate choice.
When I finally got to Britta’s section, I was deeply moved; I don’t cry reading often, but I choked up here. Anyone who has had the privilege of being beside someone they love while they are dying, will identify with the honor that Britta feels to be beside her brother.
Rader’s prose is beautiful and luscious without being slow. His deftly constructed characters’ inner thoughts are vividly and humanely rendered. What a touching and thought-provoking novel. The choices that Paul and Maura make would make for fascinating book club discussion!
December 14, 2020
Father Paul has been the presiding priest in a small Wisconsin parish. He felt his calling when he was young and has been serving his congregation with love, education, generosity of spirit and hope for decades. He now has terminal and inoperable liver cancer that has metastasized to stage 4. His sister has traveled to Wisconsin in order to help Paul out. This novel is a beautifuld, gentle and poignant rendering of the characters that orbit Father Paul's inner circle, viewed and narrated by Father Paul
Britta, Paul's sister, has always been close with Paul and I was impressed by how much I learned by what was not said between them as what was. Paul has realized he was gay for decades but has not discussed his sexual orientation, except once, and very briefly, with Britta. This novel explores the deep and sacred connection Paul has with his church and his challenge to remain a priest after meeting a man he loved several decades ago. He faced the challenge of what he'd have to give up vs. what he'd gain if he left the church for corporeal love.
A parallel story is that of Britta's daughter Maura who is having an affair and considering leaving her husband for her lover after more than 20 years of marriage. As Paul struggles with why he didn't leave the church, Maura is struggling with why she stays in her marriage. Is it the children, her vows, the expanse of what she owes to her husband or is it guilt?
The depth of characterization in this novel is beautiful. I felt like I could step into the pages and participate in the narrative at almost any stage of the book. I had compassion and empathy for each character and marveled at the gentle and thorough way that the author painted their inner lives, the difficulties of their choices, and their acceptance of their lives once they chose their paths.
Britta, Paul's sister, has always been close with Paul and I was impressed by how much I learned by what was not said between them as what was. Paul has realized he was gay for decades but has not discussed his sexual orientation, except once, and very briefly, with Britta. This novel explores the deep and sacred connection Paul has with his church and his challenge to remain a priest after meeting a man he loved several decades ago. He faced the challenge of what he'd have to give up vs. what he'd gain if he left the church for corporeal love.
A parallel story is that of Britta's daughter Maura who is having an affair and considering leaving her husband for her lover after more than 20 years of marriage. As Paul struggles with why he didn't leave the church, Maura is struggling with why she stays in her marriage. Is it the children, her vows, the expanse of what she owes to her husband or is it guilt?
The depth of characterization in this novel is beautiful. I felt like I could step into the pages and participate in the narrative at almost any stage of the book. I had compassion and empathy for each character and marveled at the gentle and thorough way that the author painted their inner lives, the difficulties of their choices, and their acceptance of their lives once they chose their paths.
July 9, 2024
A moving and touching read, The Wanting Life asks one of life's most profound questions: What are we supposed to do when what we want isn't possible unless we hurt others?
This question captures the essence of this novel in a wistful, melancholic, sad, nostalgic, and ultimately liberating way. In life, we often face desires that seem unattainable due to powerful forces. Yet, our choices and pursuit of happiness are ultimately more powerful. I felt the love, regrets, heartache, and what-ifs deeply, along with the courage to seek a fulfilling life, all tenderly depicted in Mark Rader's The Wanting Life.
Set in Rome, Cape Cod, and Wisconsin during the summer of 2009 and Rome in the spring of 1970, The Wanting Life intertwines the stories of three Novak family members: Father Paul, a closeted gay Catholic priest dying of cancer with secrets to share; Britta, his self-destructive sister and caretaker, seeking meaning after her husband's death; and Maura, Britta's daughter, a 39-year-old artist torn between her family and the man she believes to be her true love. ✨️👊
This question captures the essence of this novel in a wistful, melancholic, sad, nostalgic, and ultimately liberating way. In life, we often face desires that seem unattainable due to powerful forces. Yet, our choices and pursuit of happiness are ultimately more powerful. I felt the love, regrets, heartache, and what-ifs deeply, along with the courage to seek a fulfilling life, all tenderly depicted in Mark Rader's The Wanting Life.
Set in Rome, Cape Cod, and Wisconsin during the summer of 2009 and Rome in the spring of 1970, The Wanting Life intertwines the stories of three Novak family members: Father Paul, a closeted gay Catholic priest dying of cancer with secrets to share; Britta, his self-destructive sister and caretaker, seeking meaning after her husband's death; and Maura, Britta's daughter, a 39-year-old artist torn between her family and the man she believes to be her true love. ✨️👊
March 16, 2020
Exquisitely rendered, and a beautiful piece on repressed desire and regret - the character of the dying Priest looking lovingly at his memories of meeting Luca is at the heart of this gorgeous book!
April 15, 2020
A slow moving book, with heartwarming endearing and beautifully crafted characters. The central character is Fr. Paul Kovak, a gay priest that is now dying and having many regrets. It's written beautifully. His sister, and niece also figure prominently, as they examine the trajectory of their lives as well. This is Mark Rader's debut novel and I'll be sure to follow up on anything else he writes.
May 11, 2020
I love the double meaning of this title - a life in which we are always wanting things, and life that itself is wanting - and both of these existing at the same time. The characters in this book are well drawn, all of them, and I cared about what happened to them - Wisconsin priest Father Paul, tormented by what-could-have-been with the love of his life, his niece Maura, trying to decide between her safe, domestic life with kids and a chance at happiness with another man. Nothing cut and dried, but messy like life. I found the book a little slow to get moving, but once Paul and his sister made it to Rome, where the story of his life in the Seminary unfolded, and his friendship with Luca, it was quite engaging. The book then turns to Maura's story, which isn't as fully described, but still compelling, before bringing the threads together at the end. A good read.
March 30, 2020
Beautiful. It's quite melancholy, but I love a good reminder that we only have this one short life.
March 28, 2020
3.5 stars
Heart rending and poignant, the book is engagingly written with some memorable moments. By far the most interesting character is Paul, the closeted gay priest who regrets not leaving religious life in earlier days, now as he turns 70 and faces death from cancer.
I never like time jumping (or character jumping) and have to force myself to start a new section that takes me way back to an earlier decade. Even so, the story of Paul and Luca in 1970 Rome is compelling and not without suspense (will they? won't they?). The story of Paul's wasting away in modern time is painful and not unfamiliar.
The other characters, Britta the sister and Maura the niece, don't rise to the same interest level imo. Maura contemplating the breakup of her family is a downer in every way. If this book had been written by a woman, it would be categorized as women's fiction, even though Maura's choice would not be allowed in that genre.
Heart rending and poignant, the book is engagingly written with some memorable moments. By far the most interesting character is Paul, the closeted gay priest who regrets not leaving religious life in earlier days, now as he turns 70 and faces death from cancer.
I never like time jumping (or character jumping) and have to force myself to start a new section that takes me way back to an earlier decade. Even so, the story of Paul and Luca in 1970 Rome is compelling and not without suspense (will they? won't they?). The story of Paul's wasting away in modern time is painful and not unfamiliar.
The other characters, Britta the sister and Maura the niece, don't rise to the same interest level imo. Maura contemplating the breakup of her family is a downer in every way. If this book had been written by a woman, it would be categorized as women's fiction, even though Maura's choice would not be allowed in that genre.
March 26, 2020
Mark Rader's The Wanting Life is a provocative novel that asks readers to consider the many ways in which our choices to love affect our status in various communities. His abundance of descriptive detail brings both familiar and exotic locales (those who love Rome will revel in rediscovering its streets and culture) and personalities to life. I found all of the characters and their challenges compelling and the novel to be imminently readable, due to Rader’s skill and style. Readers will find themselves in more-than-competent hands with this author.
March 24, 2020
The Wanting Life by Mark Rader is a deep in solemn portrait of three family members in the throughs of grief and change. Fr. Paul, his sister Britta and her daughter Maura each recount the trajectory of their lives. There are the opportunities for joy either not embraced, lost unexpectedly or over analyzed in the hope of discovering truth. Well drawn characters and realizations are drawn from writing laced with luminous discoveries amidst the pain and hope. Engaging from the first page, The Wanting Life is not for the squeamish or those who turn away from hard journeys hat lead to peace and acceptance.
February 24, 2020
THE WANTING LIFE revolves around three family members—Father Paul, a gay priest dying of cancer and foregoing treatment, his widowed sister, Britta, and Britta’s troubled daughter, Maura. As Paul’s time on earth dwindles, he reflects on his life and what could have been. He is tormented by regrets and lost love. Paul’s sister, Britta, is struggling with her own grief after losing her husband but is adamant on being Paul’s support system as his health declines. Paul’s beloved niece, Maura, is torn between family and desire after her husband caught her having an affair.
Rader’s prose is beautiful, flowing with pure emotion and intimacy. He guides us through the minds of these flawed, relatable characters—forcing us to empathize with them and ponder over our own lives and choices we’ve made. THE WANTING LIFE is a touching exploration of faith, human desire, family, regrets, and love. Thank you for this gorgeous book, @unnamedpress!
Rader’s prose is beautiful, flowing with pure emotion and intimacy. He guides us through the minds of these flawed, relatable characters—forcing us to empathize with them and ponder over our own lives and choices we’ve made. THE WANTING LIFE is a touching exploration of faith, human desire, family, regrets, and love. Thank you for this gorgeous book, @unnamedpress!
June 15, 2023
Reviewed by Megan Kiger on www.rowanglassworks.org.
Imagine the sun setting in a not-so bustling Rome—a glass of Limóncello and fresh risotto in front of you. Your table is small with intricate iron wrought detail, and the world is quiet. There’s a slight summer breeze and a whispering guitar, maybe two, in the background. You can almost hear each wish as it meets the surface of the Trevi Fountain.
Mark Rader transports us, sans jetlag, to a past world of desire and love lost in his unconventional romance novel The Wanting Life. We travel from Cape Code to Italy to a generationally familiar town in Wisconsin, navigating the hearts and minds of Rader’s characters and the threads that pull so heavily on their spirits.
At the end of his life, Paul Novak aches to remember the love he denied for the sake of his faith—a love he found in his twenties in Rome and lost for fifty years. Luca, the man he spent half a century dreaming about, is the sole reason Paul has been able to outlive the doctors’ predictions, revisiting only his ghostly memories with each and every sunrise.
Paul’s sister, Britta, struggles with her obesity and alcoholism after the loss of her husband, and her daughter, Maura, longs to leave her husband and two children to be with a man who “resurrected her as a person.”
Through the eyes of Paul and his family, Rader poetically and simplistically poses the questions—what is it that any of us truly want? And ultimately, how far are we willing to go to get it?
A priest who has grown exhausted of the battle between his religion and his heart, Paul decides it will be his dying mission to remind his family that there is no true life in wanting.
How can what we desire be right when it could potentially destroy everything we love, or rather, ourselves? As strong as his faith is, Paul finds that two things are for certain: our true hearts are never wrong, and even knowing that, the world will still never unanimously agree.
In the last weeks of his life, Paul reminisces about his secret Italian love affair, urging his family to realize that their hearts, raw and vulnerable, should be the ruling foundation of their faith.
Britta mustn’t allow herself to be lost in wanting what used-to-be, while Maura, Paul's niece, must forgive herself and fearlessly embrace the consequences she knows will come with the life she so desperately wants.
While we spend almost two-thirds of our story with Paul, Rader skillfully interweaves three familial, third-person limited perspectives to paint painful, yet beautifully detailed scenes of what it’s like to exist in never-ending turmoil with our own decisions. He effortlessly gives life to the streets of 1970 Rome and cool beach nights on the Cape. We closely examine a dying, gay man looking back on his life with regret, a widow struggling to find purpose without the partner she wants beside her, and a young wife and mother choosing unhappiness for the sake of her family.
While his novel weighs heavily on the importance of making the hard choices that are right in our hearts, it also brings forth the darkness that will inevitably unfold if we choose, instead, to live a wanting life.
Imagine the sun setting in a not-so bustling Rome—a glass of Limóncello and fresh risotto in front of you. Your table is small with intricate iron wrought detail, and the world is quiet. There’s a slight summer breeze and a whispering guitar, maybe two, in the background. You can almost hear each wish as it meets the surface of the Trevi Fountain.
Mark Rader transports us, sans jetlag, to a past world of desire and love lost in his unconventional romance novel The Wanting Life. We travel from Cape Code to Italy to a generationally familiar town in Wisconsin, navigating the hearts and minds of Rader’s characters and the threads that pull so heavily on their spirits.
At the end of his life, Paul Novak aches to remember the love he denied for the sake of his faith—a love he found in his twenties in Rome and lost for fifty years. Luca, the man he spent half a century dreaming about, is the sole reason Paul has been able to outlive the doctors’ predictions, revisiting only his ghostly memories with each and every sunrise.
Paul’s sister, Britta, struggles with her obesity and alcoholism after the loss of her husband, and her daughter, Maura, longs to leave her husband and two children to be with a man who “resurrected her as a person.”
Through the eyes of Paul and his family, Rader poetically and simplistically poses the questions—what is it that any of us truly want? And ultimately, how far are we willing to go to get it?
A priest who has grown exhausted of the battle between his religion and his heart, Paul decides it will be his dying mission to remind his family that there is no true life in wanting.
How can what we desire be right when it could potentially destroy everything we love, or rather, ourselves? As strong as his faith is, Paul finds that two things are for certain: our true hearts are never wrong, and even knowing that, the world will still never unanimously agree.
In the last weeks of his life, Paul reminisces about his secret Italian love affair, urging his family to realize that their hearts, raw and vulnerable, should be the ruling foundation of their faith.
Britta mustn’t allow herself to be lost in wanting what used-to-be, while Maura, Paul's niece, must forgive herself and fearlessly embrace the consequences she knows will come with the life she so desperately wants.
While we spend almost two-thirds of our story with Paul, Rader skillfully interweaves three familial, third-person limited perspectives to paint painful, yet beautifully detailed scenes of what it’s like to exist in never-ending turmoil with our own decisions. He effortlessly gives life to the streets of 1970 Rome and cool beach nights on the Cape. We closely examine a dying, gay man looking back on his life with regret, a widow struggling to find purpose without the partner she wants beside her, and a young wife and mother choosing unhappiness for the sake of her family.
While his novel weighs heavily on the importance of making the hard choices that are right in our hearts, it also brings forth the darkness that will inevitably unfold if we choose, instead, to live a wanting life.
November 26, 2021
This was a difficult read for me primarily because I recently lost a brother named Paul. Any similarity stops at the name, but the character's death still made me cry. While I clearly understand the title as it applies to primarily Paul's and Maura's stories, and to a lesser extent Britta's, it doesn't work for me to compare their choices. I'll give you that Paul lived a life missing the love and companionship of another human being, and fought a lifelong battle denying his homosexuality -- but Luca wasn't a soulmate, so much as he was Paul's only experience. He looms large only as the general kind of life Paul could have lived, not the specific. As for Maura's choice, it doesn't work because as they are written, there is nothing to choose between Harden and David. We only have Maura's word that one is better for her than another, and it's hard to trust her opinion the way she is written. She is Paul's beloved niece, yet she doesn't return her mother's calls and completely drops out of her uncle's life when he is dying. I'm a pretty selfish human being, who hasn't denied myself much in life, but I feel Maura's life with David isn't going to be worth upending her children's lives and missing the time with them.
April 30, 2022
This is a lovely debut novel (although developed over 12 years) that explores "The Wanting Life" for each of its two protagonists and, less so, for a supporting character. Father Paul is a dying Catholic priest who is gay and struggles with what that means given his loyalty to the Church and a brief love in his youth. Did he choose wisely? Maura, his niece, is a 39 y.o woman who falls for the "love of her life", a fellow artist, while married with two young children, one of them with disabilities. Should she leave her husband in favor of her passion? And somewhere between the two is Britta, Paul's sister and Maura's mother, who did enjoy a loving relationship but, as she mourns her husband's death of 3 years ago, she turns to food and wine for solace. Each one grapples with what it means to be human, to love, to "want."
It is easy to sympathize with Paul, less so with Maura, and easy to understand the sadness Britta feels. Paul and Maura's characters are sufficiently explored but I believe Britta could have been expanded on just a bit more. Anyone who observes and is fascinated by the human condition will appreciate this novel.
I listened to this as an Audible choice and the narrator, Donald Corren, is marvelous.
It is easy to sympathize with Paul, less so with Maura, and easy to understand the sadness Britta feels. Paul and Maura's characters are sufficiently explored but I believe Britta could have been expanded on just a bit more. Anyone who observes and is fascinated by the human condition will appreciate this novel.
I listened to this as an Audible choice and the narrator, Donald Corren, is marvelous.
October 31, 2020
Fr. Paul is tired of living but afraid of dying, spending his days in a morphine haze (internal rhyme, sorry) mourning a long ago lost love. He has enjoyed the love and affection of parishioners, as well as the shamanistic status that attaches to clerics, but appears to have no relationship with God, although prayer is mentioned fleetingly.
His kin fare no better, dwelling in a state of existential grumpiness at best, with love once adequate departed or inaccessible, and with food or sex serving as distractions, inadequate ones at that.
One senses this is a polemic more than a novel, with life lessons doled out intermittently.
Not a bad effort for a first novel but it reads as if a few short stories were cobbled together to create a novel as well as to provide a format for substitute completion of the protagonist's journey.
His kin fare no better, dwelling in a state of existential grumpiness at best, with love once adequate departed or inaccessible, and with food or sex serving as distractions, inadequate ones at that.
One senses this is a polemic more than a novel, with life lessons doled out intermittently.
Not a bad effort for a first novel but it reads as if a few short stories were cobbled together to create a novel as well as to provide a format for substitute completion of the protagonist's journey.
June 26, 2020
I wanted to love this book. It is about choices and the ways or decisions or lack thereof have an impact on people's lives for years to come. The main character Father Paul lives his life as proscribed, an upstanding member of his community who is loved by many. This is juxtaposed with other members of his family whose lives take twists and turns of their own. This could be a great way to illuminate the interior lives of the characters but I never felt them come alive. They make decisions and live with them but I never felt their joy and pain in a real way. I found the premise quite good but the book did not reach its potential for me.
March 23, 2020
Rader, The Wanting Life, it’s not only about loving someone but being loved back in the same intense matter. His novel opens to the desires of love and challenges of faith and loyalty vs giving it all up for love. Making decisions that for sure will hurt others. Walks you through Rome and other places with a delicious description. The aging Paul in his last moments regretting the life he did take and agonizing the decisions not made. The relationship of a brother and sister sticking together until the last breath. Easy to read and hard to put down.
March 30, 2020
This is the story of a gay priest who is dying from cancer. He looks back on his iife with mixed feelings. His life as a beloved priest in his small community in northeast Wisconsin was gratifying, yet during his time of studying in Rome he met Luca and they had a very short but intense relationship. He wonders what his life could have been, if he had been completely honest with his reality. Mark’s writing brings the settings and characters to life with great descriptions and a depth of feeling. Very well done.
December 3, 2020
This is an absolutely gorgeous novel. The story of Paul, a dying priest wrestling with regret, is so fully rendered that his experiences begin to feel like the reader's own memories. His sister, Britta, a flawed, loving widow, is good company for the reader, as is his niece Maura, on the cusp of breaking up her young family and wrestling with the regret that may fill her future. This novel takes its time, inviting readers to Rome, to Wisconsin, fully inhabiting the perspectives of complex characters. I found the ending both painful and deeply satisfying. Highly recommended.
May 6, 2022
A very slow moving book, but it examines the painful choices we make through the excruciating bumps and turns we seem to need to go through. To me, it is worth a second read, which is always my reason for giving a book four stars instead of three. This book is fodder for re-examining our lives.
The title of the book refers to the fact that so many of us go through life wanting something different from the paths we are on, and perhaps it would be better if more of us took the risk of changing paths.
The title of the book refers to the fact that so many of us go through life wanting something different from the paths we are on, and perhaps it would be better if more of us took the risk of changing paths.
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July 23, 2020A sad and lovely and very human story about regrets, difficult choices, and love. Sometimes when I read stories where characters are torn between two decisions, I feel like I have the perspective as a neutral third party to know which one is ultimately right for them. In this case, I could sympathize completely with the complexity of the character's choices and the knowledge that no matter what they do, someone will experience pain as a result.
March 31, 2020
A regretful, dying priest looks back on his life and all that he missed by not being honest with himself. His sister tries to cope with grief, loss and alcoholism and her daughter mulls over a difficult decision. The Wanting Life is a story of choices made and the impacts they have, of ‘what ifs,’ of longing and wanting. Relatable, beautifully written, sad and hopeful at the same time. Loved.
May 23, 2020
I loved thus novel! The owner of my local Chicago indie - The Book Cellar - recommended this to me, and she knows me well. Rader’s prose is lucid and, unlike many first-time novelists, keeps it simple, doesn’t try to dazzle. As a result, his characters are palpably real. Their emotional lives are, at best, messy, and Rader does not create easy options for them. Highly recommended!
May 18, 2021
I’m not giving this book 4 stars because I liked it so much. In fact, I didn’t like how it ended at all. However, it gave me a lot to think about and could lead to rich discussion with the right group of people. The essential question is should you “live your truth” even if it means potentially hurting others. Lots to think of here.
August 27, 2021
A seemingly boring book that’s subtly poignant and moving. A gay priest reckoning his life’s work as he’s dying and the life he could have had with the man he loved; his niece reckoning her own life in an unhappy marriage and a man she falls in love with. Beautiful novel that will beseech one to choose their one short life wisely. We are here and then we are gone.
August 23, 2020
I loved this story which is a moving commentary on the choices we make in our lives, and how we may regret them at the end of our lives. Interesting characters, good writing for a first novel, and unique insight to the characters' lives.
October 8, 2020
This book nicely sets up the tough decision between community/family responsibility and personal happiness. There is deep drama that is well explored. The author is very good at giving a sense of place and time.
November 7, 2020
I was prepared to dislike this story about a gay Catholic priest. But like any good story, you are drawn in and held captive. It's the right length at 295 pages. A thoughtful book that allows the reader to examine their own wanting that may be floating, just below the surface of consciousness.
December 1, 2020
A terminally ill priest looks back on his decision to end a relationship, while his niece is torn between her marriage and the man she loves.
A deep, well-written, and often somber story about love, faith, and regret.
A deep, well-written, and often somber story about love, faith, and regret.
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