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The Hitman's Guide #1
The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love
What happens when a snarky hitman and a by-the-book PI cross paths?
Leland
Being a hitman has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go.
Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better. Why else would he be teaming up with me to bring down Hardek, one of the city’s most ruthless criminals?
Jackson
Even though the cops are telling me that the hitman is a notorious contract killer, I can’t help but admit that I’m drawn to him. He’s funny, charismatic, and attractive. There’s no way this ridiculous man can be the person the cops are after.
But when Leland ends up at my doorstep injured, I’m faced with a tough choice. It’s my duty to hand him over to law enforcement, but my heart has other plans. I want to keep him. To protect him. To be with him.
Though one question remains: why in the world does the man have so many d*mn guns?
Contains: shenanigans on a swing that you would NOT find at a playground, a car chase that sadly doesn't have flips or explosions, a horsey ride sans horse, cuddles, an exuberant mutt, a suspicious chief of police, and lots and lots of laughs.
Leland
Being a hitman has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go.
Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better. Why else would he be teaming up with me to bring down Hardek, one of the city’s most ruthless criminals?
Jackson
Even though the cops are telling me that the hitman is a notorious contract killer, I can’t help but admit that I’m drawn to him. He’s funny, charismatic, and attractive. There’s no way this ridiculous man can be the person the cops are after.
But when Leland ends up at my doorstep injured, I’m faced with a tough choice. It’s my duty to hand him over to law enforcement, but my heart has other plans. I want to keep him. To protect him. To be with him.
Though one question remains: why in the world does the man have so many d*mn guns?
Contains: shenanigans on a swing that you would NOT find at a playground, a car chase that sadly doesn't have flips or explosions, a horsey ride sans horse, cuddles, an exuberant mutt, a suspicious chief of police, and lots and lots of laughs.
375 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 30, 2019
About the author
Alice Winters
42 books1,962 followersAlice Winters started writing stories as soon as she was old enough to turn her ideas into written words. She loves writing a variety of things from romance and comedy to action. She also enjoys reading, horseback riding, and spending time with her pets.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 893 reviews
November 17, 2019
OMG, this story had freaking EPIC, non-stop snark and banter!!!
I'd initially feared that in order to keep up the high levels of comedy, the author might need to resort to lowering the quality of the jokes, getting corny, and trying too hard, but that amazingly never happened. At least not for me.
“I haven’t called [the police] yet. I’m giving you one last day of freedom to do anything you want.”
“Ah, makes sense. Anything?”
“Anything.”
“Can I touch your willy?”
“Besides that.”
“Can I look at your willy?”
“Besides that.”
“So not actually anything."
“Anything else.”
“Can you show me your nipple?”
Basically, this was a story about a 39 y.o. private investigator falling for a 27 y.o. hitman, very much against his better judgement.
And it was hilarious from start to finish.
My only complaint about the book would be the very long 343-page length.
There were a few times in the book that *felt* like a good stopping point, but the story was only getting started, hence me feeling that it was too long, with 100 or so pages (like the dog parts) that might've been edited down for a more focused book.
I'd definitely recommend this story for fans of snark and banter, but prepare to settle in for a while.
4.5 *totally-memorable* stars.
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October 9, 2020
Okay, now if you love humor that is so ridiculous and OTT, you'll love this series. If you can't handle silly humor, stay away. This one cracked me up. I'm okay with snarky-but stupid- humor. And, I loved the craziness involved. Weird and inappropriate humor is one of my things. I've was called "weird" when I was young, and now that I'm old I am called "eccentric", so I get it. (Eccentric sounds so much better, doesn't it? I guess if weirdos make it to old age we get that badge of honor.)
But if I stop taking my not-crazy-pills the voices will come back! Free Spirited it is!
So this book is about a private investigator who ends up getting the attention of a hitman when he climbs a fence near the home of where the hitman is staking out his next kill. The PI, Jackson, makes a critical error in his climb and his pants get pulled down by getting stuck on the fence. Now, he must have one hell of an ass because Leland, the hitman, is captivated. It was love at first moon.
Oooh, where can I find those pants? Jason and Freddy have a lot of dimples, right?
Having a hitman decide he's in love with you could be problematic. Luckily for Jackson, Leland is absolutely insane. I mean, "lucky" is the word I would use. Who wants a sane person to fall in love with? I was just reminding my husband the other day about the time we went to the car wash and the attendant asked him what scent we wanted for the air freshener and my hubs asked him with a straight face if they have urine-scented. I laughed like a madman while the attendant looked at us like we were on drugs (we weren't). Ah, good times. I spent most of my marriage walking behind my husband saying, "he's just kidding" and don't regret a moment of it. Of course, his accent is so thick that half the time people have no idea what he said anyway, so I guess I could have saved myself the trouble. But, that bewildered look when someone isn't sure what you said, but it couldn't possibly be what they think they heard? I've seen that look more times than I could tell you.
That's the one!
So the great romance between Leland and Jackson begins. And, it's glorious! They are also solving a mystery, but the craziness takes center stage for me. I want to live where they live.
Oh 2020. You have really done a number on us.
But if I stop taking my not-crazy-pills the voices will come back! Free Spirited it is!
So this book is about a private investigator who ends up getting the attention of a hitman when he climbs a fence near the home of where the hitman is staking out his next kill. The PI, Jackson, makes a critical error in his climb and his pants get pulled down by getting stuck on the fence. Now, he must have one hell of an ass because Leland, the hitman, is captivated. It was love at first moon.
Oooh, where can I find those pants? Jason and Freddy have a lot of dimples, right?
Having a hitman decide he's in love with you could be problematic. Luckily for Jackson, Leland is absolutely insane. I mean, "lucky" is the word I would use. Who wants a sane person to fall in love with? I was just reminding my husband the other day about the time we went to the car wash and the attendant asked him what scent we wanted for the air freshener and my hubs asked him with a straight face if they have urine-scented. I laughed like a madman while the attendant looked at us like we were on drugs (we weren't). Ah, good times. I spent most of my marriage walking behind my husband saying, "he's just kidding" and don't regret a moment of it. Of course, his accent is so thick that half the time people have no idea what he said anyway, so I guess I could have saved myself the trouble. But, that bewildered look when someone isn't sure what you said, but it couldn't possibly be what they think they heard? I've seen that look more times than I could tell you.
That's the one!
So the great romance between Leland and Jackson begins. And, it's glorious! They are also solving a mystery, but the craziness takes center stage for me. I want to live where they live.
Oh 2020. You have really done a number on us.
Shelved as 'dnf'
November 19, 2019DNF 8%
It's me, not the book. I like humor but not this kind of humor. It's just too OTT and silly.
It's me, not the book. I like humor but not this kind of humor. It's just too OTT and silly.
October 2, 2019
I have all of the love in the world for the buddy who rec'd this (not to me specifically but who enjoyed and did express warnings it was OTT and ridiculous) but this book was.. well..
I'll admit the beginning was kind of entertaining. Yes, OTT, and yes, ridiculous, but there were brief moments in the beginning where I amused -- in a 'so dumb I lol' way. But then there was the repetition, then the silly turned into what-the-fuckery, and just overall nothing was realistic or even fun anymore.
I skimmed a lot (a lot) and I definitely should've DNF'd around the halfway mark but somehow I kept reading. On a work night. Despite the ever pervasive slump-i-tude. Is it worth it to round up because of that? I thought about it. But I won't.
I'm not continuing on with the series nor will I read the author again. Beyond the bizarre, it was also clunky, felt like a bad translation or unedited draft, and while I'm all for comedy, this was immature, childish, and too slapstick for my taste.
Nope. Sorry.
Amanda, ilu.
I'll admit the beginning was kind of entertaining. Yes, OTT, and yes, ridiculous, but there were brief moments in the beginning where I amused -- in a 'so dumb I lol' way. But then there was the repetition, then the silly turned into what-the-fuckery, and just overall nothing was realistic or even fun anymore.
I skimmed a lot (a lot) and I definitely should've DNF'd around the halfway mark but somehow I kept reading. On a work night. Despite the ever pervasive slump-i-tude. Is it worth it to round up because of that? I thought about it. But I won't.
I'm not continuing on with the series nor will I read the author again. Beyond the bizarre, it was also clunky, felt like a bad translation or unedited draft, and while I'm all for comedy, this was immature, childish, and too slapstick for my taste.
Nope. Sorry.
Amanda, ilu.
August 10, 2019
My gawd... I can't believe I've read all these 343 pages of.. Utterly nonsense, OTT behavior. Why, Why did I do that?
I thought this was supposed te be funny? Clearly I have a different kind of humor..
“What is wrong with you? And why the fuck can’t I get you off me? I can’t even move!”
He flails around some, which I think is really cute. Instead of giving in, I grab onto his earlobe with my lips and pull on it.
“I’ll suck your jackhammer.”
“No! Stop tempting me!”
Now he’s trying to crawl out from under me, but I’m just riding on his back as he goes.
“Please?” I whisper into his ear. “Just for me?”
“Two guns, happy?”
I mean, really?
Not a book for me but heyy you may like it.
November 8, 2022
Not another re-read…yes Nov 2022
Re-read 2nd - 22nd February 2021
Re-read 1st - 4th January 2020.
I promised myself a Christmas re-read. The problem is I do most of my reading in bed at night. And this is definitely a daytime book.
I can’t read this in bed because I can’t stop laughing. I thought it might be better the second time round. It’s not it’s worse. This time I was laughing from the get go.
Since I enjoyed this so much more the second time round I’m increasing my rating to 5*.
Original review - 4*
This is a perfect example of a love it or hate it kinda book. This most likely depends on how you view Leland.
I adored him. I thought he was hilarious (but exhausting).
It wasn’t love at first sight for me. I’ll be honest for the first couple of chapters I felt it could have gone either way. But once these two started interacting they had me.
Leland is the notorious Sandman. He’s never had anything like a normal life. And I so wanted him to find that with Jackson.
I laughed, chuckled and smiled my way through this book. It’s taken me ages to read it. Partly because I’ve been so busy lately. This means most of my reading is done in bed. Not the best place to read a book that has me laughing constantly.
“Hi, Jackson!” I shout.
He’s also amazing at jumping. Clearly, this is a man worth marrying. He’s sexy and agile.
“We’re not having children. We’re not… I’m not moving you into my house for good. This is just to watch you… so I can help you.”
“I can already hear wedding bells. The angels are singing our names. Jackson and Leland, together forever.”
“I’m starting to wonder if this was a really bad idea.” I start laughing. “It might have been. I’ve never even had a sleepover before, so I’m excited about this. I’m overly excited about all the things we’re going to be doing. Like…” I think about it for a moment. “We could braid our hair and have a pillow fight and measure each other’s penises.”
His eyebrows knit as his head tilts. “I… I’m not sure that’s what anyone does at a sleepover. At least none of the sleepovers I’ve been to.” I grin.
“Well, that’s disappointing.”
Re-read 2nd - 22nd February 2021
Re-read 1st - 4th January 2020.
I promised myself a Christmas re-read. The problem is I do most of my reading in bed at night. And this is definitely a daytime book.
I can’t read this in bed because I can’t stop laughing. I thought it might be better the second time round. It’s not it’s worse. This time I was laughing from the get go.
Since I enjoyed this so much more the second time round I’m increasing my rating to 5*.
Original review - 4*
This is a perfect example of a love it or hate it kinda book. This most likely depends on how you view Leland.
I adored him. I thought he was hilarious (but exhausting).
It wasn’t love at first sight for me. I’ll be honest for the first couple of chapters I felt it could have gone either way. But once these two started interacting they had me.
Leland is the notorious Sandman. He’s never had anything like a normal life. And I so wanted him to find that with Jackson.
I laughed, chuckled and smiled my way through this book. It’s taken me ages to read it. Partly because I’ve been so busy lately. This means most of my reading is done in bed. Not the best place to read a book that has me laughing constantly.
“Hi, Jackson!” I shout.
He’s also amazing at jumping. Clearly, this is a man worth marrying. He’s sexy and agile.
“We’re not having children. We’re not… I’m not moving you into my house for good. This is just to watch you… so I can help you.”
“I can already hear wedding bells. The angels are singing our names. Jackson and Leland, together forever.”
“I’m starting to wonder if this was a really bad idea.” I start laughing. “It might have been. I’ve never even had a sleepover before, so I’m excited about this. I’m overly excited about all the things we’re going to be doing. Like…” I think about it for a moment. “We could braid our hair and have a pillow fight and measure each other’s penises.”
His eyebrows knit as his head tilts. “I… I’m not sure that’s what anyone does at a sleepover. At least none of the sleepovers I’ve been to.” I grin.
“Well, that’s disappointing.”
August 12, 2019
This book is similar in style and tone to the In Darkness books. While I adored the In Darkness series and found them to have characters with great chemistry and banter and a good balance between the funny and the action/mystery story, The Hitman's Guide didn't work quite as well for me in those aspects.
The story started off well, but started to drag towards the middle (and it's a pretty long book). While it was often funny, Leland's snark and commentary was pretty unrelenting and became exhausting at times. Some of the juvenile comments also had me cringing a bit and wondering if maybe he has a condition that hadn't been diagnosed making it difficult to deal with certain social situations.
Jackson fell sort of flat for me. He lets people walk all over him, including his business partner who does no work, his mother who is a homophobic, demanding bitch who "tolerates" him being gay as long as he doesn't show it and even Leland to an extent.
I was drawn in by the mystery of the trafficking, as well as what would happen when Leland's identity is revealed to the various players, but the resolutions weren't very satisfying. In Darkness had plenty of outlandish situations, but somehow there it worked, where here it felt like the climactic scenes and resolutions were just not in keeping with the situations.
There were a few hilarious episodes, especially the last scene in the book. I did like Leland's story and the occasional vulnerability he showed before it was quickly covered with a humorous comment, but I wanted a bit more of that developed.
Not a big winner for me, but once again, I seem to be in the minority on this one.
The story started off well, but started to drag towards the middle (and it's a pretty long book). While it was often funny, Leland's snark and commentary was pretty unrelenting and became exhausting at times. Some of the juvenile comments also had me cringing a bit and wondering if maybe he has a condition that hadn't been diagnosed making it difficult to deal with certain social situations.
Jackson fell sort of flat for me. He lets people walk all over him, including his business partner who does no work, his mother who is a homophobic, demanding bitch who "tolerates" him being gay as long as he doesn't show it and even Leland to an extent.
I was drawn in by the mystery of the trafficking, as well as what would happen when Leland's identity is revealed to the various players, but the resolutions weren't very satisfying. In Darkness had plenty of outlandish situations, but somehow there it worked, where here it felt like the climactic scenes and resolutions were just not in keeping with the situations.
There were a few hilarious episodes, especially the last scene in the book. I did like Leland's story and the occasional vulnerability he showed before it was quickly covered with a humorous comment, but I wanted a bit more of that developed.
Not a big winner for me, but once again, I seem to be in the minority on this one.
October 27, 2019
I think whether you enjoy this book or not depends a lot on whether you can cope with Leland.
I found his sexual banter funny to start with, but it became ‘too much of the same’ pretty quickly. And then irritation set in. Never have I met a character as overbearing and annoying as him. Yes, he does have two or three more serious moments, but unfortunately, they remain underdeveloped. Shame because that’s exactly what I wanted to see!
What’s left is a supposedly cute guy who behaves inappropriately and silly in virtually every single life situation he encounters (and gets away with it!) whilst being the most deadly and feared assassin on the side. Somehow that didn’t gel for me, not even in a ’comedy’.
Maybe I have lost my sense of humour, however, there is a good chance it lies buried dead under the continuous onslaught of sexual innuendos and banter.
I’m glad that at least Jackson falls for Leland’s constant sex-babble. I loved when he resists Leland’s loud advances again and again and couldn’t quite understand why he eventually gives in to him so easily. (Unfortunately, we are in Leland’s POV when it happens)
What totally unnerved me about Jackson is that he repeatedly declares that he has to give Leland whatever he wants because he loves him. I mean, what kind of love is that?
And I’m not talking about presents here, but serious stuff. Which leads me right to the plot.
I understand (mostly) that I shouldn’t take it seriously, as this book’s clearly meant to make you smile and laugh.
Darn, why wasn’t I laughing then?
I almost DNFd at 76% when one of the main problems between Leland and Jackson is resolved in the most ridiculous matter. The issue held so much promise for a good story-line but gave me a massive headache instead.
I know many people loved this and I’m happy for them.
But for me this is a book that seems to try to be too many things at once:
A comedy, a romance, a thriller, a mystery, a coming-out story, a family drama …. Probably I simple don’t get the author’s humour.
I found his sexual banter funny to start with, but it became ‘too much of the same’ pretty quickly. And then irritation set in. Never have I met a character as overbearing and annoying as him. Yes, he does have two or three more serious moments, but unfortunately, they remain underdeveloped. Shame because that’s exactly what I wanted to see!
What’s left is a supposedly cute guy who behaves inappropriately and silly in virtually every single life situation he encounters (and gets away with it!) whilst being the most deadly and feared assassin on the side. Somehow that didn’t gel for me, not even in a ’comedy’.
Maybe I have lost my sense of humour, however, there is a good chance it lies buried dead under the continuous onslaught of sexual innuendos and banter.
I’m glad that at least Jackson falls for Leland’s constant sex-babble. I loved when he resists Leland’s loud advances again and again and couldn’t quite understand why he eventually gives in to him so easily. (Unfortunately, we are in Leland’s POV when it happens)
What totally unnerved me about Jackson is that he repeatedly declares that he has to give Leland whatever he wants because he loves him. I mean, what kind of love is that?
And I’m not talking about presents here, but serious stuff. Which leads me right to the plot.
I understand (mostly) that I shouldn’t take it seriously, as this book’s clearly meant to make you smile and laugh.
Darn, why wasn’t I laughing then?
I almost DNFd at 76% when one of the main problems between Leland and Jackson is resolved in the most ridiculous matter. The issue held so much promise for a good story-line but gave me a massive headache instead.
I know many people loved this and I’m happy for them.
But for me this is a book that seems to try to be too many things at once:
A comedy, a romance, a thriller, a mystery, a coming-out story, a family drama …. Probably I simple don’t get the author’s humour.
April 30, 2020
Audiobook: ***5 Michael-Ferraiuolo-is-the-best Stars***
Story: ***2 sorry-not-my-kind-of-humor Stars***
Story: ***2 sorry-not-my-kind-of-humor Stars***
Shelved as 'dnf'
March 18, 2021I'M GIVING UP!!!!!! I CAN'T EVEN BRING MYSELF TO READ ONE BOOK!!!! IN MARCH, I READ ZERO BOOKS!!!!! AND NOW I DNFed THIS ONE
I AM NOT A SOCIOPATH...I AM JUST BORED!!!! ENCE READING THIS BOOK!!!
(nOW ThAt I tHInK Of It...PrObabLY EvERy SoCIoPaTH SAyS ThIS🥺😶😬)
Murderer:Soooo Mrin...I can see you😈I am coming after you
Mrin: You can see me??!!
Murderer: Yup!!!
Mrin: I will wave at you and you wave back!!!
Murder: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!!
Mrin:*Waves excitedly* I can see you as well!!!
Murderer:*sighs*Never mind...
Seeeee??!! I am NOT a sociopath!!! Now I am gonna read this book without any guilt!!!
I AM NOT A SOCIOPATH...I AM JUST BORED!!!! ENCE READING THIS BOOK!!!
(nOW ThAt I tHInK Of It...PrObabLY EvERy SoCIoPaTH SAyS ThIS🥺😶😬)
Murderer:Soooo Mrin...I can see you😈I am coming after you
Mrin: You can see me??!!
Murderer: Yup!!!
Mrin: I will wave at you and you wave back!!!
Murder: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!!
Mrin:*Waves excitedly* I can see you as well!!!
Murderer:*sighs*Never mind...
Seeeee??!! I am NOT a sociopath!!! Now I am gonna read this book without any guilt!!!
August 25, 2019
Don't judge me. I laughed - more than once. This is American slapstick humor which often crosses the line into ridiculousness. What was it about this story that kept me so engaged?
I somehow formed an emotional connection to both characters. PI Jackson is an ex military 39 year old gay man. He didn't come out to his parents until his thirties. His mother is a horrible homophobic witch and I hated that he was so forgiving of her hatefulness. <--- see? Emotionally connected.
The Sandman♥️ (he signs his notes with a heart) is a 27 year old expert sniper with a conscience. Me, being Judgy McJudgepants, would say he has ADHD and possibly some social anxiety stemming from his childhood. In spite of his in-your-face ridiculous humor, he basically melted my heartstrings. You should see the sticky, soppy mess he made of them.
The mystery/crime plot kept me engaged even through the eye rolling resolutions. We get several action scenes where both characters get to be heroes. The writing flowed and I laughed in spite of myself.
It doesn't make sense, but I enjoyed this story so much. My biggest complaint, besides the not-funny funny dialogue I belly laughed at, is that I wanted more. I wanted more background on each of the characters. More details of where they came from and what made them the men they were. I wanted to live those scenes and feelings with them that made big impacts on their lives. I guess I'm never satisfied. I got a 350 page book and I'm asking for 500. ;-)
3.5 stars for an entertaining weekend read
I somehow formed an emotional connection to both characters. PI Jackson is an ex military 39 year old gay man. He didn't come out to his parents until his thirties. His mother is a horrible homophobic witch and I hated that he was so forgiving of her hatefulness. <--- see? Emotionally connected.
The Sandman♥️ (he signs his notes with a heart) is a 27 year old expert sniper with a conscience. Me, being Judgy McJudgepants, would say he has ADHD and possibly some social anxiety stemming from his childhood. In spite of his in-your-face ridiculous humor, he basically melted my heartstrings. You should see the sticky, soppy mess he made of them.
The mystery/crime plot kept me engaged even through the eye rolling resolutions. We get several action scenes where both characters get to be heroes. The writing flowed and I laughed in spite of myself.
It doesn't make sense, but I enjoyed this story so much. My biggest complaint, besides the not-funny funny dialogue I belly laughed at, is that I wanted more. I wanted more background on each of the characters. More details of where they came from and what made them the men they were. I wanted to live those scenes and feelings with them that made big impacts on their lives. I guess I'm never satisfied. I got a 350 page book and I'm asking for 500. ;-)
3.5 stars for an entertaining weekend read
August 4, 2019
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 Overall Stars
😂😂😂😂😂/5 on the laugh level.
🔥🔥🔥/5 Heat Index
I’m still on a review hiatus. Not an official thing. Just can’t be bothered. But I will make an exception and write a longer one for this one sometime in the next few days. Because this book deserves a review with all the bells and whistles and quotes and gifs. And since I highlighted half of the darn book while reading it, I have plenty to use.
Put simply for now. This is my favorite book of the summer. I mean, Summer isn’t over. But I’d be super surprised if there’s a book that can dethrone this one.
It was just so frickin adorable and so damn funny. I loved it with all of my heart. From the moment Leland spotted Jackson losing his pants while climbing over a fence, he had heart eyes for Jackson. I had heart eyes for the both of them. I didn’t want it to end.
Full review to come. Promise.
😂😂😂😂😂/5 on the laugh level.
🔥🔥🔥/5 Heat Index
I’m still on a review hiatus. Not an official thing. Just can’t be bothered. But I will make an exception and write a longer one for this one sometime in the next few days. Because this book deserves a review with all the bells and whistles and quotes and gifs. And since I highlighted half of the darn book while reading it, I have plenty to use.
Put simply for now. This is my favorite book of the summer. I mean, Summer isn’t over. But I’d be super surprised if there’s a book that can dethrone this one.
It was just so frickin adorable and so damn funny. I loved it with all of my heart. From the moment Leland spotted Jackson losing his pants while climbing over a fence, he had heart eyes for Jackson. I had heart eyes for the both of them. I didn’t want it to end.
Full review to come. Promise.
August 6, 2019
Best comedic book this year
I almost died reading this book. I laughed so hard that I cried and then I laughed some more until I started coughing. I love books that make me laugh. This book over delivered. There was a great mix of action and angst that was offset perfectly by the hilarity. I texted my friend at least 4 times to tell her about the humor in this book. I'm usually not really into detective type books but the slow romantic buildup as well as the nonsensical jokes really made me love it.
I almost died reading this book. I laughed so hard that I cried and then I laughed some more until I started coughing. I love books that make me laugh. This book over delivered. There was a great mix of action and angst that was offset perfectly by the hilarity. I texted my friend at least 4 times to tell her about the humor in this book. I'm usually not really into detective type books but the slow romantic buildup as well as the nonsensical jokes really made me love it.
August 2, 2019
OMG I enjoyed this book too much! Especially every time Leland opened his mouth and talk! LOL.
And Jackson was definitely enjoying harassment after harassment from Leland.
Full review soon :)
July 31, 2022
BR with my girl Cass!
Right off the bat you’re inundated with hilarity. Leland is a hitman who is zany, strange and almost certainly psychotic. Jackson is a PI who at times is bumbling, reminding me of Clouseau from The Pink Panther.
I enjoy how much Jackson rebuffs Leland’s outlandish, sometimes dangerous flirtations. Even after they’re together he automatically says no but always inevitably gives in to what his baby wants.
I will say they flipped from grudging enemies to lovey dovey in it forever boyfriends in the blink of an eye. I’m not against instalove, it just felt confusing.
I also couldn’t figure out if the crime part of the story was meant to be slapstick as well. Like did the writer mean for the villains to resemble over the top cartoon types? If so it was too much and if not the villains weren’t believably scary or even hate worthy. Honestly, I despised Jackson’s mother more than anyone.
I thought the steam had a lot of potential but it fell kinda flat for me. Especially with Leland’s mouth writing a bunch of smutty checks he couldn’t cash. Everything just came out as humorous, which is a double edged sword.
While it never lacked in entertainment value it was made of nothing but fluff. I need just a little more from the books I read. I’m giving this a higher rating but I doubt I’d finish the series.
Right off the bat you’re inundated with hilarity. Leland is a hitman who is zany, strange and almost certainly psychotic. Jackson is a PI who at times is bumbling, reminding me of Clouseau from The Pink Panther.
I enjoy how much Jackson rebuffs Leland’s outlandish, sometimes dangerous flirtations. Even after they’re together he automatically says no but always inevitably gives in to what his baby wants.
I will say they flipped from grudging enemies to lovey dovey in it forever boyfriends in the blink of an eye. I’m not against instalove, it just felt confusing.
I also couldn’t figure out if the crime part of the story was meant to be slapstick as well. Like did the writer mean for the villains to resemble over the top cartoon types? If so it was too much and if not the villains weren’t believably scary or even hate worthy. Honestly, I despised Jackson’s mother more than anyone.
I thought the steam had a lot of potential but it fell kinda flat for me. Especially with Leland’s mouth writing a bunch of smutty checks he couldn’t cash. Everything just came out as humorous, which is a double edged sword.
While it never lacked in entertainment value it was made of nothing but fluff. I need just a little more from the books I read. I’m giving this a higher rating but I doubt I’d finish the series.
October 20, 2022
✅ Hilarious moments and banter
✅ Cute romance (MM)
✅ Smut
✅ Characters
✅ Mystery and investigation
✅ Action
✅ Pace and plot
✅ 2 POVs
❗️❗️Trigger warnings: mentions of murders and past child negligence
4.5 stars
I usually don’t read contemporary romance unless there is a dash of paranormal or urban fantasy in it, but I really love Alice Winter’s other MM series, and I’ve heard SO MUCH about Leland... I had to give this one a try. As always, this is the perfect book for you if you enjoy over-the-top ridiculous banter with spicy MM smut and an intriguing plot.
What happens when a 39 years-old private investigator finds himself falling for a 27 snarky hitman against his better judgment?
Leland is a 27 years old hitman who’s always been able to keep a low profile and remain anonymous until his path crosses Jackson’s, a 39 very serious and sexy private investigator. As Leland decides to stalk Jackson, and Jackson is trying to get rid of him and figure out if he can trust him or if he should report him to the police, they will both be forced to work together to bring down a criminal responsible for arms smuggling and kidnappings, among other things.
While being almost 400 pages long, this book didn’t feel long. It’s full of action, humor, mystery, and banter, and I really liked it.
Leland is very smart and full of light and smiles. While he has a darker past, and he’s done and seen some bad things, he still manages to be so bubbly and full of happiness, it is impressive. He reminded me of Finn in How to Vez a Vampire or Ari in the Wesford Shifters series. He just barged into Jackson’s life, and decided that he would remain there because Jackson was obviously his soul-mate. Jackson did say that he had to keep an eye on Leland to make sure he would stop killing people, but he clearly was not expecting Leland to just make himself at home and never leave Jackson’s side.
Jackson is a more quiet and reserved character, but we can see that he has a more relaxed and carefree side that comes out whenever he’s with Leland. Leland definitely has a way to convince Jackson to do anything he wants, and I loved seeing Jackson get more relaxed and especially happier. I also adored how he and Leland finally managed to stand up to Jackson’s mom after all her horrible comments and schemes to get rid of Leland and find a “suitable woman” for Jackson, and I hope that they go full PDA in front of her just to shut her up. 😈
Leland and Jackson definitely have a rough start, mostly because Leland is a hitman on the most wanted list of the police precinct, and Jackson works with the police. The fact that Leland proceeded to stalk Jackson because he was interested in him also didn’t help, but it created so many crazy-funny moments that made me laugh out loud. Their dynamic is what you would expect from the main couple if you’ve read a couple of Alice Winter’s other works, but it never gets old!
The romance between Leland and Jackson has a pretty crazy start, and I was not sure at first how healthy it would be since it seemed like Jackson was providing everything for Leland, but the situation was rectified and their relationship ended up being quite healthy for a PI/Hitman romance. The fact that Jackson is older and more mature tempered Leland’s craziness and impulsivity, but I loved how it created funny and cute moments between them. Be aware though that this book is full of sexual jokes that can be quite immature and over the top, but it was a perfect summer vacation reading. The way Jackson just accepts almost anything Leland says or asks just because he loves seeing him happy too much is also kind of cute (even though it would be a little intense in a real-life relationship 😅).
Leland and Jackson have the usual grumpy/sunshine dynamic that Winter’s other main couple have, and they also have this hilarious banter and over-the-top ridicule situations. This book is a super sweet mix of cheesy moments, spicy scenes, action, and hilarious situations.
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✅ Cute romance (MM)
✅ Smut
✅ Characters
✅ Mystery and investigation
✅ Action
✅ Pace and plot
✅ 2 POVs
❗️❗️Trigger warnings: mentions of murders and past child negligence
4.5 stars
I usually don’t read contemporary romance unless there is a dash of paranormal or urban fantasy in it, but I really love Alice Winter’s other MM series, and I’ve heard SO MUCH about Leland... I had to give this one a try. As always, this is the perfect book for you if you enjoy over-the-top ridiculous banter with spicy MM smut and an intriguing plot.
What happens when a 39 years-old private investigator finds himself falling for a 27 snarky hitman against his better judgment?
Leland is a 27 years old hitman who’s always been able to keep a low profile and remain anonymous until his path crosses Jackson’s, a 39 very serious and sexy private investigator. As Leland decides to stalk Jackson, and Jackson is trying to get rid of him and figure out if he can trust him or if he should report him to the police, they will both be forced to work together to bring down a criminal responsible for arms smuggling and kidnappings, among other things.
While being almost 400 pages long, this book didn’t feel long. It’s full of action, humor, mystery, and banter, and I really liked it.
It’s clear that I’m bored when I’m not using my binoculars to watch the house I’m supposed to be watching but am, instead, staring at the neighbor’s TV. What’s worse is that The Bachelor is on.
Leland is very smart and full of light and smiles. While he has a darker past, and he’s done and seen some bad things, he still manages to be so bubbly and full of happiness, it is impressive. He reminded me of Finn in How to Vez a Vampire or Ari in the Wesford Shifters series. He just barged into Jackson’s life, and decided that he would remain there because Jackson was obviously his soul-mate. Jackson did say that he had to keep an eye on Leland to make sure he would stop killing people, but he clearly was not expecting Leland to just make himself at home and never leave Jackson’s side.
On the right side of my face, in permanent marker, is a penis, ball hairs and all. On my left cheek is Love, the Sandman with a heart like he puts on my notes.
Jackson is a more quiet and reserved character, but we can see that he has a more relaxed and carefree side that comes out whenever he’s with Leland. Leland definitely has a way to convince Jackson to do anything he wants, and I loved seeing Jackson get more relaxed and especially happier. I also adored how he and Leland finally managed to stand up to Jackson’s mom after all her horrible comments and schemes to get rid of Leland and find a “suitable woman” for Jackson, and I hope that they go full PDA in front of her just to shut her up. 😈
He grimaces, and I can’t imagine why. My only conclusion is that he doesn’t like my mask. Or maybe hostage situations don’t really turn him on. Or maybe he didn’t get my joke.
Oh. That. “Well, that was just like flirting. Like how a boy pushes a girl he likes.”
He looks at me in the mirror like I’m crazy. “You shot at me.”
Leland and Jackson definitely have a rough start, mostly because Leland is a hitman on the most wanted list of the police precinct, and Jackson works with the police. The fact that Leland proceeded to stalk Jackson because he was interested in him also didn’t help, but it created so many crazy-funny moments that made me laugh out loud. Their dynamic is what you would expect from the main couple if you’ve read a couple of Alice Winter’s other works, but it never gets old!
I groan. “Please stop.” “Are we already having our first dispute?” “No, our first dispute was you being a hitman and me wanting you to be a good person.”
“Basically, it’s like getting a house cat,” I realize. “You come in, eat my food, sleep wherever you want, whenever you want, and refuse to listen…”
The romance between Leland and Jackson has a pretty crazy start, and I was not sure at first how healthy it would be since it seemed like Jackson was providing everything for Leland, but the situation was rectified and their relationship ended up being quite healthy for a PI/Hitman romance. The fact that Jackson is older and more mature tempered Leland’s craziness and impulsivity, but I loved how it created funny and cute moments between them. Be aware though that this book is full of sexual jokes that can be quite immature and over the top, but it was a perfect summer vacation reading. The way Jackson just accepts almost anything Leland says or asks just because he loves seeing him happy too much is also kind of cute (even though it would be a little intense in a real-life relationship 😅).
“I had him tied up! He’s a squirrely one. I bet it’s because he’s gay. Those gay ones like the kinky shit. He’s probably used to being tied up,” she decides.
“You don’t think it might be because he’s a HITMAN?”
Leland and Jackson have the usual grumpy/sunshine dynamic that Winter’s other main couple have, and they also have this hilarious banter and over-the-top ridicule situations. This book is a super sweet mix of cheesy moments, spicy scenes, action, and hilarious situations.
“Don’t ever leave me,” I whisper. His hands tighten behind my back.
“I won’t.”
“I’m a mean motherfucker when you piss me off. You will not be safe from me if you make me mad.”
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Shelved as 'dnf'
December 8, 2019DNF at 40%
I recently read A Villain for Christmas by this author and loved it. I thought this would be just as funny as that one, even though I was a bit hesitant because lots of people have commented that they found Leland to be a bit too much at times.
So here I was expecting a super funny book, perhaps even a bit too ‘funny’. But if someone could send me a copy of that funny book, please do, because that wasn’t the copy I read.
I didn’t find this book funny at all. The way Leland and Jackson were circling around each other was tiring, and even though Leland was a lighthearted, positive guy, I never really warmed to him. But I didn’t like Jackson either, so there was nothing that was really holding my interest.
And I really tried. This book is quite long and I kept thinking that I should read on to get to the good parts, but at 40% I think that's not going to happen.
I recently read A Villain for Christmas by this author and loved it. I thought this would be just as funny as that one, even though I was a bit hesitant because lots of people have commented that they found Leland to be a bit too much at times.
So here I was expecting a super funny book, perhaps even a bit too ‘funny’. But if someone could send me a copy of that funny book, please do, because that wasn’t the copy I read.
I didn’t find this book funny at all. The way Leland and Jackson were circling around each other was tiring, and even though Leland was a lighthearted, positive guy, I never really warmed to him. But I didn’t like Jackson either, so there was nothing that was really holding my interest.
And I really tried. This book is quite long and I kept thinking that I should read on to get to the good parts, but at 40% I think that's not going to happen.
October 4, 2019
4.25 stars.
I'm reading the second book in this series as I write this review and I can say hands down, that both these books have to be the funniest books I've read. I don't know how Alice did it. But she did, and I'm a fan.
Love the characters, the plot, the non stop banter. Especially the banter. This book had people look at me funny on my way to work and back home because I might've snorted out loud a time or two. But no regrets.
I needed to read this series. Really loved it!
I could never lose this man. I could never lose any of this. Without a doubt, I would give up everything for him.
I'm reading the second book in this series as I write this review and I can say hands down, that both these books have to be the funniest books I've read. I don't know how Alice did it. But she did, and I'm a fan.
Love the characters, the plot, the non stop banter. Especially the banter. This book had people look at me funny on my way to work and back home because I might've snorted out loud a time or two. But no regrets.
I needed to read this series. Really loved it!
Shelved as 'i-give-up'
November 29, 2019I’ve started and stopped this book three times. I yield. When Michael F can’t make me listen to a book, it ain’t worth the struggle.☹️
June 7, 2020
Audio Review 07Jun2020: No Change
Well, this time around I probably wouldn't have given it the full 4 stars because, again, the immaturity was off the charts. But Michael did a great job with the narration so the rating stands.
Original Review 11Sep2019:
LOL funny stuff.
What kept it from 5 stars is that these MCs acted 10 years younger than their chronological ages. It was an odd disconnect that had they been late 20s and late teens (rather than late 30s and 20s as the book says they are) would have felt more appropriate. Of course, all the things that occurred in their past would have been harder to cram in to people so young...but still. It was weird...I kept having to remember that they weren't as young as they sounded/acted. Maybe more emphasis on how little proper socializing Leland had growing up would have made it fit better? IDK.
Still really liked it, though. I'll definitely read any subsequent books that follow.
Well, this time around I probably wouldn't have given it the full 4 stars because, again, the immaturity was off the charts. But Michael did a great job with the narration so the rating stands.
Original Review 11Sep2019:
LOL funny stuff.
What kept it from 5 stars is that these MCs acted 10 years younger than their chronological ages. It was an odd disconnect that had they been late 20s and late teens (rather than late 30s and 20s as the book says they are) would have felt more appropriate. Of course, all the things that occurred in their past would have been harder to cram in to people so young...but still. It was weird...I kept having to remember that they weren't as young as they sounded/acted. Maybe more emphasis on how little proper socializing Leland had growing up would have made it fit better? IDK.
Still really liked it, though. I'll definitely read any subsequent books that follow.
April 19, 2022
2 Stars
I thought this was going to be a new favorite. I really did. It started off perfectly with fantastic banter and a unique, quirky character. How could that have possibly gone wrong?
Well.
I realize I am in the minority here but I thought the non-stop banter and snark was too much and OTT. There was absolutely nothing realistic about this plot and every "serious" moment was unfailingly interrupted by pointless, weird banter and ramblings from Leland. I realize that he is most likely on the spectrum or maybe simply doesn't know how to properly communicate due to his childhood but I wanted him to shut up just once. Even for just a minute. I enjoyed the first 50% and do think the story was very funny - but it became too much. Less is more, ya know?
As for the plot itself, I had to suspend my disbelief entirely. The manner in which Leland and Jackson got out of the scenarios would never fly in real life but hey, it's fiction, right? The "bad guy" storyline wasn't fleshed out very well either. There were never any consequences for Leland or Jackson so as a reader, the tension was missing. The whole thing with Henry was laughably unrealistic as well. I think I maxed out the capacity for eye-rolling during that bit. I tried to ignore the plot issues and ultimately would have rated this higher if that was the only problem.
The other major flaw for me was how quickly Leland and Jackson's relationship moved. Jackson was very adamant in his decision to stay away from Leland but yet somehow he let Leland move in with him within a month and never blinked an eye. Also, what was up with how quickly Jackson went from "stay away from me" to . Uh...okay?
I struggled not to DNF this but powered through by the power of energy drinks and procrastination.
Series:
Book 1: The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love → 2 Stars
Book 2: The Hitman's Guide to Staying Alive Despite Past Mistakes → did not read
I thought this was going to be a new favorite. I really did. It started off perfectly with fantastic banter and a unique, quirky character. How could that have possibly gone wrong?
Well.
I realize I am in the minority here but I thought the non-stop banter and snark was too much and OTT. There was absolutely nothing realistic about this plot and every "serious" moment was unfailingly interrupted by pointless, weird banter and ramblings from Leland. I realize that he is most likely on the spectrum or maybe simply doesn't know how to properly communicate due to his childhood but I wanted him to shut up just once. Even for just a minute. I enjoyed the first 50% and do think the story was very funny - but it became too much. Less is more, ya know?
As for the plot itself, I had to suspend my disbelief entirely. The manner in which Leland and Jackson got out of the scenarios would never fly in real life but hey, it's fiction, right? The "bad guy" storyline wasn't fleshed out very well either. There were never any consequences for Leland or Jackson so as a reader, the tension was missing. The whole thing with Henry was laughably unrealistic as well. I think I maxed out the capacity for eye-rolling during that bit. I tried to ignore the plot issues and ultimately would have rated this higher if that was the only problem.
The other major flaw for me was how quickly Leland and Jackson's relationship moved. Jackson was very adamant in his decision to stay away from Leland but yet somehow he let Leland move in with him within a month and never blinked an eye. Also, what was up with how quickly Jackson went from "stay away from me" to . Uh...okay?
I struggled not to DNF this but powered through by the power of energy drinks and procrastination.
Series:
Book 1: The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love → 2 Stars
Book 2: The Hitman's Guide to Staying Alive Despite Past Mistakes → did not read
September 17, 2019
I absolutely loved every single second of this! Highly recommend. SO funny. Leland is AMAZING! New to me author and it's a winner!
October 7, 2021
Yes!!!! Okay so a rockstar reviewer on GR named Todd recommended this book to me. It was sooo hot! Rifles, who knew? I totally connected with Leland and felt like they realistically fell in love here. And btw, Alice Winters is hilarious. Lots of laughs in here.
April 7, 2022
AUDIO REVIEW
I usually like this narrator but not so much in this one. The voices were not what I imagined them to sound like especially Leland's 🤷🏽♀️
ORINGAL REVIEW 8/12/19
Even a hitman deserves love
3.5 stars
Leland isn't your typical hitman. Sure he is good at his job but when he doesn't have a gun in his hand, he is nothing but continuous sex jokes. I did love it at first but after awhile it got a bit old. However, he was still a lovable character who needed someone to show him the right path. That's where Jackson comes in. Jackson is an army vet who runs a P.I. agency. One night on a job he runs into Leland, or really is spotted by him, and his life was never the same after.
Overall this was a fun read about a hitman who finds love.
I usually like this narrator but not so much in this one. The voices were not what I imagined them to sound like especially Leland's 🤷🏽♀️
ORINGAL REVIEW 8/12/19
Even a hitman deserves love
3.5 stars
Leland isn't your typical hitman. Sure he is good at his job but when he doesn't have a gun in his hand, he is nothing but continuous sex jokes. I did love it at first but after awhile it got a bit old. However, he was still a lovable character who needed someone to show him the right path. That's where Jackson comes in. Jackson is an army vet who runs a P.I. agency. One night on a job he runs into Leland, or really is spotted by him, and his life was never the same after.
Overall this was a fun read about a hitman who finds love.
October 30, 2019
**grm**
Ok, ROFL, Leland(27) was crazy and had so many absurd ideas, that made me laugh most of the time. Poor Jackson(39) had his hands full with this kinky and pushy bottom, but he wouldn't wish otherwise. There were many absurd scenes, things that in real life would never go that way, but the book was interesting, the chars charming and they gave me some good hours of relax.
Ok, ROFL, Leland(27) was crazy and had so many absurd ideas, that made me laugh most of the time. Poor Jackson(39) had his hands full with this kinky and pushy bottom, but he wouldn't wish otherwise. There were many absurd scenes, things that in real life would never go that way, but the book was interesting, the chars charming and they gave me some good hours of relax.
July 26, 2022
loved this M/M romcom/mystery
This was just what I needed!
Leland’s crazy antics had me laughing so hard. The story has mystery, danger, excitement, sweetness and laughter. The relationship that developed with Jackson and Leland is very unique and so sweet. There was definitely a hint of the movies Deadpool and Mr. right, but it was it’s own story.
Really enjoyed! 4.5 LOL stars ⭐️
This was just what I needed!
Leland’s crazy antics had me laughing so hard. The story has mystery, danger, excitement, sweetness and laughter. The relationship that developed with Jackson and Leland is very unique and so sweet. There was definitely a hint of the movies Deadpool and Mr. right, but it was it’s own story.
Really enjoyed! 4.5 LOL stars ⭐️
July 30, 2019
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.5 stars
Alice Winters has a style that I just love and her stories mix humor, sweetness, and excitement in such nice balance. The Hitman’s Guide is another great example of this and I really just loved the way the humor and the heart combine here.
The story starts out delightful as Jackson and Leland are hunting the same man and Jackson accidentally finds himself mooning Leland (and no, Leland will never let him live that down). I think the pacing here is really well done as the early part of the story focuses on the guys investigating the trafficker. There is nice suspense and excitement here, as well as a chance for the reader to get to know the men as we see them dancing around each other. Then the focus shifts to the developing relationship between the pair. I think this is important as it helps the reader to not only see that Leland is a good guy, despite all the murder for hire stuff, but also understand why Jackson falls for him.
Read Jay’s review in its entirety here.
4.5 stars
Alice Winters has a style that I just love and her stories mix humor, sweetness, and excitement in such nice balance. The Hitman’s Guide is another great example of this and I really just loved the way the humor and the heart combine here.
The story starts out delightful as Jackson and Leland are hunting the same man and Jackson accidentally finds himself mooning Leland (and no, Leland will never let him live that down). I think the pacing here is really well done as the early part of the story focuses on the guys investigating the trafficker. There is nice suspense and excitement here, as well as a chance for the reader to get to know the men as we see them dancing around each other. Then the focus shifts to the developing relationship between the pair. I think this is important as it helps the reader to not only see that Leland is a good guy, despite all the murder for hire stuff, but also understand why Jackson falls for him.
Read Jay’s review in its entirety here.
August 21, 2020
"Because I’ve seen your butthole and that pretty much makes us BFFs.”
His face turns grave. “That’s… no.”
“What do you mean? I looked it right in the eye.”
He cringes. “That’s… no… just… no.”
“I think it even winked at me.”
“Oh my god. Get out of my car.”
........
It is cute when Jackson says "he regrets everything" but there are just empty words. He is happy more than he has ever been with Leland.
His face turns grave. “That’s… no.”
“What do you mean? I looked it right in the eye.”
He cringes. “That’s… no… just… no.”
“I think it even winked at me.”
“Oh my god. Get out of my car.”
........
It is cute when Jackson says "he regrets everything" but there are just empty words. He is happy more than he has ever been with Leland.
March 12, 2020
I was so excited to read this. Just wasn't my flavor of comedy. Very ridiculous plot and character actions. Put this aside with possibility of coming back to it but I haven't and won't at this point. Sigh. Might try again one day. Never know.
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