Rest Now: 7 Ways to Say No, Set Boundaries, and Seize Joy

by Kelly Balarie

If you feel overwhelmed, you're not alone. Three out of five people admit to doing more than they can manage. Thinking God requires this, we say, "I must be everything to everyone." Then we struggle and feel selfish and guilty when we say no, grow weary, or snap at someone out of sheer exhaustion. Is this what God desires? Somewhere along the line of being a good Christian, wife, daughter, or friend we lose sight of who we are in Christ. We put our performance above God and who he says we are. But what if we chose a more soul-full way?

Rest Now offers permission to breathe. It exposes the lies that distract, tire, and bully us, so we don't strive for rest but love from it, like Jesus did. Learn how to

- create boundaries that allow you to overflow with love
- say no so you don't hate yourself later
- ditch passive-aggressive behaviors in favor of healthy conversations
- embrace permission-giving thoughts to create mental space for God

Genres: Christian, Self Help, Christian Non Fiction, Nonfiction

256 pages, Paperback

First published October 20, 2020

About the author

Kelly Balarie is a passionate national speaker who has spent nearly ten years leading groups of women in spiritual growth, marriage building, and general Bible studies across the nation. She has lived her subject matter. Her faith was built as she battled through a debilitating eating disorder, depression, multiple sclerosis testing and concerns, company failures, family deaths, job losses, and times without income or money. Throughout difficult circumstances, Kelly has looked past the pain to uncover the beauty of God's always-developing purposes for her life. Her greatest desire is to share this treasured beauty with other women who need a fresh drink of God's grace and restoration. Kelly is a featured blogger at Crosswalk.com and iBelieve.com. Her work has been featured on Relevant, (in)courage.me and was also the cover story on Today's Christian Woman. She lives with her husband and two toddlers near the sun-soaked shores of the East Coast.

Reviews

[Tricia Mcwilliams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Choose To Rest


In a normal year so many things can steal our rest and peace of mind. But we all know 2020 isn't a normal year so things seem to be exasperated even more. I am thankful for the author's words of wisdom and guidance using her own experiences and Biblical knowledge. As she helps the reader chose to rest in Christ centered ways.

I have so many quotes highlighted below are a few:

"Distraction around us can lead to distraction within us, if we are not careful."

"Words have staying power. Especially negative words. We feel them deeply."

"We have a “different spirit” when we agree with God rather than outside voices."

"What if you appreciated what you do have rather than what you don’t?"

"May my words bring life, peace, and hope more than they steal, kill, and destroy."

I received an advance readers copy of this book. This is my honest review. I'd highly recommend it to others.

[Tammy Kennington · Rating 5 out of 5]

With all of the world in mayhem, I couldn't have received this book in the mail at a better time--when I'm worn, weary, and worried. I love the way Kelly has outlined how to "come away" with Christ and particularly found purchase with Chapter 13: The Heart of Boundaries. If you loved "Battle Ready", this book is one you won't want to miss!

[Gwen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I urge you to take your time and read this book while considering what you have defined rest as in the past as compared to now. Many times I have felt the need to be everything to everyone, not realizing until it’s too late that it’s impossible to do. And then I think…at what expense? What has this cost me? My peace, my relationships, my boundaries, on and on…

God doesn’t require this of us, and when we fully embrace rest, we embrace who God calls us to be. Rest Now offers us this perspective and it doesn’t stop short of urging us to do some introspection and create what’s necessary for this type of margin. Whether it is setting boundaries, creating a decluttered space – physically, mentally, or emotionally, or embracing healthy relationships, it’s all a part of the big picture – rest.
This is a very timely book, so thank you for ending each chapter in prayer and inviting us into personal reflection with scriptures and thought-provoking questions.

I received an advance reader copy of this book, thank you to the publishers and to Kelly Balarie.

[Emily P · Rating 5 out of 5]

Balarie continues to create work that hits at just the right time for me, and "Rest Now" is no exception. Busy lives, no room for margin, a pandemic (!) and pressure from family, jobs and work...It's no wonder we can't truly rest as we need to.

"Rest Now" encourages the reader by giving a list of ways they can set boundaries, revive the things we once found enjoyable and say no with confidence. She reminds the reader that it is up to us to set those boundaries in a way that makes progress in our lives. Respecting rest and the place it should have in our lives is important.

Balarie is one part cheerleader, one part honest friend who sees your struggle. "Rest Now" is a truly helpful read that will give the reader a reason to evaluate just how often they're actually finding refreshment. This would be amazing in a book club or women's group.

I was an early reader, thanks to the publisher. All opinions are my own.

[Crystal Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prior to reading this book, I thought I had a pretty restful life. I spend time with God every morning, I'm good about keeping margin in my schedule, I'm single, but little did I know what God had waiting for me–there was in fact A LOT of unrest in my life, and this wasn't stemming from an overbooked schedule, it was coming from my thoughts. Negative thought patterns were keeping me from fully enjoying the abundant life that God has for me, and you. Kelly goes into detail about how our thoughts affect our rest, but she doesn't just stop there–she shares helpful tips on how to overcome toxic thoughts patterns. What we think was just one of several examples that she writes about that contribute to our unrest, but for me that was what God really used to get my attention. I'm soooo happy that I got this book! And I can't wait to share it with others! It's one of those books that you don't realize you need until you read it!

[Tammy Kennington · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a year marked by personal and global change, I’ve been forced to slow down. To stop making excuses and finally consider whether or not I’m stewarding my time and body well. When I read Kelly Balarie’s new book, Rest Now: 7 Ways to Say No, Set Boundaries, and Seize Joy, it was as I though I recognized my reflection in the mirror.

I’d forgotten to breathe in life and Light in the middle of mothering, marriage, and messy life. If you can relate, you may want to pick up a copy of Balarie’s book. It is a guide for getting away with Christ and learning to rest in Him. You’ll discover how to rest in weakness, forgiveness, humility, and more.

Quote: “To cultivate what is most important is to live a life of great importance. Then moments have meaning. We give ourselves permission to be where we are. When we’re with our family, we can truly be with them. And when we’re with God, we’ll really be with God.”

[Gina Fox · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a great and necessary read! Anyone who has read Kelly’s books before knows her “shoot straight from the hip” writing style and she does not disappoint. She speaks some difficult, but necessary truths to the reader to find the rest we are all searching for. She takes the reader through 7 different ways to come away from the unrest and to fall into God’s rest. There are so many truths that got me right between the eyes! It was stuff I either knew, couldn’t see or didn’t want to acknowledge. One truth that really spoke to me was the following. “Often, honesty ushers in Christ’s victory. God is not afraid of truth like we are...He loves to help. And He loves to teach us from a place of truth” (pg.42). I recommend this book to anyone who is struggling to find peace and rest and needs to hear some straight up truth telling.

[A. Catlin Wozniak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kelly does an amazing job in this book of going into several scenarios that keep us from resting in the Lord. When I first started reading it I thought I already did a good job of "resting" but I found out there are many ways in which I don't, I continue striving and that keeps me from seizing the joy offered to me by our Saviour.

One such way is pretty simple and when Kelly outlined her experience I identified right away, and after that, I was hooked!

I recommend this book, it would also make a great Holiday gift!

[Roxanne]

Rest. What is Rest? Valerie gives great insight to the true meaning of the word. As women we think we must carry the weight of the world and if something needs to be done, we must do it. As life gets busier and more demands are placed on our time, time with God and REST are needed. Valerie gives practical examples and ways to build in Rest guilt free. She is relatable! I got the feeling she wasn’t just writing a self-help book. She was writing something genuine that she is practicing; something she has gained freedom in and we can too.

[Susan Mead · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rest.

2020 has been anything but restful as most of us have wrestled with worries, feeling wrecked rather than rested. I’m so thankful we have Kelly Balarie’s newest book that gives us permission to rest and directions on what that looks like so those of us striving for perfection can learn what rest is. And live it out.

Ready to rest? Get your copy of Rest Now right now.

[Emily Saxe]

What I've enjoyed about this book is that the author doesn't simply just talk about rest the entire time. She provides the reader with situations that might be causing unrest, then encourages us on how to give over those situations to God. I enjoyed also that she has some practical steps to take at the end of each chapter!

[L E]

Thank you to Goodreads, the author and publisher for my free copy of "Rest Now." This is not my usual genre but it peaked my interest as an opportunity to learn. Setting boundaries is so important for self-care. This book was very accessible and easy to follow even for someone who is not intimately familiar with scripture.

[Karen Friday · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a woman and one in ministry, I often write and speak about rest from a biblical perspective. But believing in something and practicing it are never the same thing. In "Rest Now," Kelly shares fresh insight in not only discovering the roots of our unrest, but also the perspective and antidote needed for authentic rest in our body, soul, and spirit. Rest only found in Jesus Christ.

[Maria · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think that I was in the wrong headspace for this, but the cure for overwhelm isn't be more Christian. Also, I've experienced culture shock reading this book. Balarie was writing to an extremely narrow audience and it felt like understanding only half of the conversation.

All this to say, is that there are going to be people that love this book. More power to them.

[Rachel Peh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. I’m super bad at resting and this book gave me so many practical steps to start resting. I kid you not, I took awhile to finish this book because there were so many nuggets for me to pen down! I recommend this book to anyone who struggles with resting.

[RICKMAN YVONNE · Rating 4 out of 5]

Learning who we really are in Christ Jesus, is so very important!
I found a lot to think over concerning my actions with others!

[Eve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to read, and yet packed full of clear ideas on how to rest your soul. I especially enjoyed (and need to read again) the chapters on boundaries.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book. My Bible study group used it during one of our spring studies. We loved it! Very relatable.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to read this book because right now, I don't have enough margin in my life. She brought out so many things I hadn't even thought about that take away margin and peace. I will definitely read this again, going slower and reflecting on each section when it comes out on Kindle.

[Sonja · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Kelly's books and this one came at just the right time and spoke right to me. Great reminders of how we all have a need to Rest, physically and spiritually. She has a wonderful way of sharing scripture and her candidness is refreshing and challenging. Thanks for the reminder of how to Rest Now.

[DL (Donna) Rudd · Rating 5 out of 5]

the intro of the book, Kelly reminds us that we ALREADY have peace. We don’t have to achieve it. Nor wait for it. We do not earn it. We have it when we live in Christ.

Wouldn’t it be nice to really live life worry free, and trusting God more? Kicking anxiety to the curb, to be able to appreciate life in the now!?!? Ah, folks, we CAN have that.

Less overachieving creates a more peaceful mind. When we let God take the reigns, knowing He will guide us – IF we choose to truly LIVE IN HIM, oh……. it seems daunting, I get it! But wowza, the overflow of amazing love that flows through our soul and mind when we know our Daddy is in control. (—-> do you realize ….. y.o.u. aren’t really in control?). The more we strive, the more difficult life gets. Sigh. Been there. Done that. Ate the cake. Got sick from too much of too much of what I thought was a good thing! Big S.I.G.H. Time to breath in …. breath out. Now, sing : Let it Go, Let it GO. let it gooooooo. 🙂


Don’t allow others to control your schedule.
We need something more in life. NOT things… but ‘soul rest‘. #restnow

Acquiring more only leads to more work to maintain, and working harder to make more money for those things. God gives peace that passes all understanding. THAT is what we need. Philippians 4:7

One of my favorite parts of this book, each chapter ends in a prayer, and has focus questions for you to do personal reflections! We ALL need to take time to reflect and ask ourselves the hard questions. It’s the best way to make positive changes in our life. This book has so much more to it… please – if you are at your wits end, please please, please, go to Amazon now, and order your copy. Take time to read this book and allow God to make changes from the inside out. You’ll be glad you did

[Karrilee Aggett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rest has been a reoccurring theme and longing... it is something God speaks to me about often, --sometimes as a gentle reminder, sometimes as a friendly warning. For those who know me, this is not a surprise! I talk about it, I preach Sabbath and self/soul care and the importance of rest all the time. But actually, DOING it? Well, I'm ever grateful for the ways God reminds me of things I know, but don't always do! Kelly Balarie is a friendly loving voice who will cheer you on, as well as equip you with the Word and with practical guidelines on how to set boundaries and find joy! I've read each of her books and in each one, I find the Lord speaks through her words and whispers straight to my heart! This is a book I will re-read and recommend time and time again! In fact, I already gave my copy away so I will need to go re-order it for myself!

[Gay Idle · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Rest Now, Kelly Balarie, takes us on a journey of self-discovery. In part one, she shows us, through her own experiences, that of others, and through the scriptures the very roots of the unrest in our own mind, spirit, and soul. We find rest when we abide in Christ. When we abide in Him our rest becomes positional...not conditional. He leads us to rest in Him. He carries the burdens. But what exactly does that look like? How do we accomplish this...this operating from this position of rest? In part two of her book, she gives us practical steps that can lead you to learn to operate out of His peace and joy no matter the circumstances of our lives.
If you are yearning to live a lifestyle of rest, this book just might give you the tools you need to bring you into a greater understanding of what it means to abide in Him...and in doing so...you will find rest.

[Danieke Slater · Rating 3 out of 5]

An excellent foray into boundary-setting and mindset shifting.