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VRC: Vampire Related Crimes #1

How to Vex a Vampire

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Getting into the vampire-only detective unit was the easy part; what’s going to be more difficult is dealing with my new partner, an ancient vampire who keeps threatening to eat me. The unit has never had a human in it, and Marcus—or as I like to call him, Fangy McFangface—would really prefer to keep it that way. He’s grumpy, short-tempered, and broody, but I have a way with words and I know he’s starting to like me, even if he swears he’s not. But what he doesn’t know is that I didn’t join the unit because I was tired of being a homicide detective, I joined because there is someone after me. They’ve already taken enough from me and I’m afraid they’re going to take all of me if I don’t find someone to help. That’s all Marcus was supposed to be, but now, he’s so much more and I can’t imagine my life without him.

The moment the pesky human walked through that door, I knew I had to get rid of him. He’s charming and almost everyone else instantly loves him, but he doesn’t understand how risky it is being part of this unit as a human. But as I get to know the stubborn man, I learn that perhaps he’s not as naive as I once thought. And maybe he’s what I needed to realize there is more to life than just work and my dog. A group arises who is threatening to disrupt the alliance between the humans and the vampires, but Finn is the one who shows me how strong that alliance can be and reminds me why it’s worth protecting. When threats hit closer to home, I realize I would do anything for Finn because he’s brought so much joy to my life—and because he’s mine.

This 105k word book contains: A creative use for undergarments, unintentional splits, a wolfhound who just wants to be a part of things, a vertically challenged human who still manages to wrap every vampire he meets around his little finger, the best date ever, possessiveness, really awkward dancing, some workplace revenge, and just a bite or two. Or three.

342 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 18, 2020

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About the author

Alice Winters

44 books2,035 followers
Alice Winters started writing stories as soon as she was old enough to turn her ideas into written words. She loves writing a variety of things from romance and comedy to action. She also enjoys reading, horseback riding, and spending time with her pets.

Follow me on Facebook where I put up short stories, teasers, and giveaways: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Alice...

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5 stars
2,853 (46%)
4 stars
1,985 (32%)
3 stars
949 (15%)
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93 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 852 reviews
Profile Image for ☆ Todd.
1,350 reviews1,482 followers
February 17, 2020

This story was tons of fun, so if you were a fan of the snark and banter in Alice's "The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love", I strongly suspect that this story would be a hit for you, too, as the feel of the two were fairly similar.

What was different, however, was that this new series introduces a paranormal element into the Good Guys Chasing Bad Guys scenario. Specifically, vampires, which coexist "mostly" peacefully alongside humans in this universe.

Another theme used in this book, similar to her "In Darkness" series, was that of the Wounded Hero. In Darkness, the MC had been purposefully blinded, but here Finn, a human police detective, had lost an arm and a leg in an incident over a decade ago.

However, Finn never allowed anyone to treat him differently, going to far as to hide the fact that he even used high-tech prosthetics, when at all possible. Being treated like glass was the one thing Finn wouldn't abide.

Then we had Marcus, a well-respected, extremely gruff, no-nonsense vampire police detective, who never stood a chance against Finn's sass and "all nonsense" approach to every single thing that crossed his path.

In regards to personality and feel, I don't think I'd be far off-base to say that Finn was a Leland (from Hitman) and Marcus was a Lane (from Darkness).

Other than the MC's initially mixing about as well as oil and water, the main conflict in the book surrounded a group of bad guys who were actively attempting to break the fragile peace between humans and vampires.

And since this was a romance, as the irreverent Finn and the staunch Marcus worked their way through one deadly situation after another, Finn's persistent flirting finally, blessedly began to get past Marcus' previously-impenetrable shields, which was so much fun to witness.

But the mouth on Finn? Sweet baby Jesus. The guy wasn't right.
Finn gives me that cutesy smile while dragging a man twice his size along with him. “I’m so glad you’re here!”

“I was just… coming to save you.”

“Oh, thanks, but I saved myself and everyone else. If I’d have known you were coming to save me, I would have waited. It sounds sexy to be saved by you. Do you want me to go back inside?”
I found the humor to be "mostly" spot on, but for those bothered by OTT banter, this story was... a LOT. As in the verbal sparring wasn't back and forth, then done. It tended to go on longer than some will probably like, so just a warning there.

This one had tons and tons of action and suspense, with manageable angst, and some sexy times, but the main focus was definitely on stopping the bad guys and their relationship.

I did like where this book ended, but there was a secondary threat to Finn, a dangerous, ancient vampire stalker, that was left unresolved, which I strongly suspect that book 2 of the series will deal with.

And I cannot wait! : )

4.25 stars.


My ARC copy of the book was provided by the author in exchange for a fair, unbiased review.

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Profile Image for Lucie V..
975 reviews1,804 followers
February 8, 2023
Hilarious banter
✅ Sexy M/M smut
✅ Cute romance
✅ Hate-to-love (one-sided)
✅ Pace
✅ Characters / Sexy vampires 😏
✅ 2 POVs
✅🆗 Intrigue
❗️❗️ Get ready to laugh out loud many times while reading this book.

Wow! That was a hilarious and sexy book! I was looking for a light and funny book with banter and some sexy moments and that's exactly what I got with How to Vex a Vampire.

Karsyn growls. “I hate him, but I still don’t hate him as much as your smiling face.”
“Aw, you’ve noticed my smile. That’s very sweet.”
His eyes narrow. “And the vampire is storming his way over here… oh! And intercepted by Brooks. Why is it that every time I get excited that someone’s going to eat you, it never happens?” Karsyn asks, but I love that he no longer dislikes me, even if he tries to pretend he does.
Marcus slides into his chair next to me. “Who’s eating the human? I brought some barbeque sauce.”

I lost count of how many times I laughed out loud while reading this book. It is simply HILARIOUS. Finn and Marcus’ interactions are non-stop banter and sexual inuendos and I LOVED IT. I admit that some of it became a little repetitive near the end, but I don't care, it was the perfect book to get my mind off of my job and to just relax and be entertained.

“See ya at work tomorrow, Brooks.”
Brooks shakes his head, clearly forgetting how to show excitement. “Don’t come in.”
I grin at him as I back toward the door. “You know you don’t mean that!”
“Don’t come in, Finn! No one wants you!”
“Church does,” I say as I wink toward a scowling Church before leaving the room. While I know they have no interest in me because I’m human, I also know that I will whittle them down until they let me join.

Finn is a human detective (with a mysterious past involving a vampire stalker) who is desperately trying to get a full-time job in the Vampire Related Crime unit, even though no human has ever worked in that unit. The problem is: Finn doesn't know the meaning of giving up. He is so perseverant and always so positive and bubbly, I admire that about him. I know he uses humor as a shield and also as a way to deflect questions and other people's concerns about him, but to be that positive about everything is quite impressive. He also has a way to turn everything into a kinda-joke to get what he wants, really it's like a superpower. I also really liked the fact that he is rather short and has an artificial leg and arm. It's not often that we have books with sexy male MCs that are not strong, tall, insanely sexy with a perfect face and perfect body. It was nice to have a little variety and I liked the uniqueness it gives to Finn. I also don't know anyone with an artificial limb so I never had to ask myself what it would be like, it had me thinking about it and it's also one more reason why I admire Finn's resiliency.

I hate dealing with humans. You try to like them and then they just die off.

Then there is Marcus. He is a 300 something years-old vampire who likes humans as long as they stay far away from him, and he wants nothing to do with Finn. He doesn't do relationships, especially not with humans... That is until Finn inevitably wears him down. I liked how Marcus started as a grumpy and brooding vampire and slowly changed into a kinda funny and more relaxed guy (but he still has some serious issues when it comes to social interactions and anger management 😅). The more time he spent with Finn, the more we could see his influence over Marcus, and by the end, both of them were just as ridiculous as the other when they would talk to each other. The story is also told in both their POVs and I loved having a peek into Marcus' head!

“No idea what you’re talking about. We’re not dating. We’re just sharing a connection of emotions, love, and support,” Finn says. “And sometimes we sleep naked next to each other. But there’s a dog between us, so that’s not creepy at all.”
“Oh, well, that’s a relief and has cleared everything up,” Brooks says sarcastically.
“Does the dog… want to be part of this relationship?” Orin asks, like he’s concerned.
“He loves it. Especially when I pin him down and force him to love me. It’s his favorite part. I do the same thing to Marcus. He just doesn’t always lick me in the face in return.”
“Sometimes,” I say.
Finn nods. “Just sometimes.”
Brooks sighs. “This is a disaster.”
“Welcome to Dealing with Finnigan,” Orin inputs.

The reason why I rated the intrigue "✅🆗" is simply that the investigation and detective work sometimes (often?) was relayed to the background because the banter and developing relationship between Marcus and Finn took most of the room in the book. But I still enjoyed this book very much and while it was not the most elaborate, the plot was good enough to keep me intrigued. The mysterious stalker as a sub-plot is also interesting, especially since this issue is not resolved yet so I'm eager to see how it will affect the next book.

“I fell.”
“On your face?”
He looks highly amused by this. “Like… your feet just gave up and you just splat right onto the ground?” He even pulls out hand motions for this to emphasize the splatting.
“That’s pretty much what happened.”
“Wow, I definitely want someone with that level of agility as my partner. Please, teach me your secrets.”
“You know what? You’re evil,” I say as I jab a finger at him. “I marred my perfect face, and you’re enjoying it.”
He snickers. “It’s kind of cute. You know, like when the little baby gazelle is just born and it’s all wobbly, but in this case, it’ll be like the little baby gazelle is just born and a lion is waiting for it to drop so it can eat it.”
I give him a look of horror. “Are you planning on eating me again? Brooks! Church is trying to eat me again, and this time I didn’t even do anything but be perfect!” I call out.
Karsyn spins around in his chair. “Did I hear someone say we’re eating the human? Count me in.”
“Please don’t fight over me, boys. I’m a one-man kind of guy,” I say. “Now where is this meeting?”

Really, this book is the perfect mix of funny and sexy with a good enough criminal intrigue, and I definitely recommend it if you're looking for some mindless fun. It was exactly what I needed right now.

“Can we talk?”
“Of course. Are you going to ask me on a date? Blackmail me into dating you? Spoiler alert, I’ll say yes.”
“No. Come on.”
“I already have my date outfit planned. Thong. That’s it. Not the cute kind either. The one with like the penis sling in the shape of some strange object. Maybe an ice cream cone. Do you like ice cream?”
“You do realize we work in a place filled with vampires who can probably hear you harassing me?”

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Profile Image for Eugenia.
1,617 reviews240 followers
April 11, 2020
This should have been titled: HOW TO VEX A READER.
DNF @17%. Non-stop snark. It’s just too much.
And it’s official: this author is not for me. This was my third go with her and they were all DNFs.

Different people different tastes...
Profile Image for Bhavya Marya.
75 reviews66 followers
August 15, 2020
It’s funny how this little human has so many high-level vampires ready to tear the world apart for him. And there I am, right at the front of his mini army.

The begining of this book was amazing. There was sarcasm, great banter and I was finding it hilarious tbh. But it got a little repetitive by the end. I found myself skimming paragraphs of dialogue when they would start snarking at each other. After some time I think the writing felt like it was trying too hard.

But there were also some good parts about this book that kept me interested in the book and will probably make me read the next book too.
I didn't see some of the things that happened in the book coming at all so you could say it wasn't predictable. The world building was fantastic and unique.

Finn was a really likeable main character. He had this annoying trait that made everyone like him. And as grumpy as he was portrayed in the begining, I knew Marcus was gonna be a total teddy bear when it came to Finn (I was right). They both fit the grump and sunshine trope perfectly.
Other than the MCs in the book, Karsyn is my favourite character. I just hope the author gives him an awesome love interest in the next book. *fingers crossed*

While I didn't totally love this book, I'm definitely gonna be continuing the series because I did get invested in this world and all the characters.
Profile Image for * A Reader Obsessed *.
2,139 reviews434 followers
December 20, 2020
4 Silly Stars

This is no Shakespeare, but what a romcom it is!

Zinger after zinger, Winter delivers. Ranging from sassy to cheeky, this often made me smile, snort, and laugh out loud. Innuendo, puns, snark, banter, pure ridiculousness abound!

Admittedly, I wasn’t sure how I would take this. The reviews are truly mixed and run the full spectrum from love to hate. It is a lot to take, but this kept up the humor consistently throughout which was impressive, while it also delivered on a classic murder mystery as two cops go about solving it while wrestling with burgeoning attraction, feels, and lots of personal baggage.

Just know that you can’t take this seriously at all. Underlying the comedy though is a pretty darn good romance between a broody McFangface vampire and a tenacious vertically challenged human.

Again, I quite enjoyed myself. Apparently, I needed some silly fluff in my life, and this really delivered. I’m not sure how long the afterglow will last with subsequent books from this author, but I’ll take what I can get and for now, I know exactly where to look when I need my next fix!!

Profile Image for Jilly.
1,838 reviews6,164 followers
August 19, 2020
I reread this so I can remember for book 3.
Yes, I loved it, but it's not for everyone. Is it possible for there to be too much snark in a book? This book might make you answer "yes. Yes it is." It even pushed my limits a few times. But, then again, I have a high tolerance for ridiculousness and sassiness. I cracked up while reading, but you might just get a migraine if you have a higher level of maturity than I do (hint: you do).

So, we have Finn, a human police detective, who has a prosthetic arm and leg. He wants to join the vampire police unit and they have a strict "no human" policy. So, he annoys them into it and gets partnered with Marcus, the grumpiest, oldest vampire around. Marcus wonders what he did in his undead centuries-long life that made deserve such a thing. Maybe it was the blood-draining of all the humans? Just a guess. Karma is a bitch, Marcus.

Here is Marcus' POV when him and Finn are undercover at a dance club... and have to dance...

He tugs me into the crowd of sweaty, jostling bodies while doing some kind of weird jig that I hope he doesn't think is sexy.

Finn: "They called me the Dance Machine in my prime."

Marcus: "Did the machine break? Do we need to put it out of its misery?"....

And then he starts doing the Macarena. I am positive he doesn't know he's doing it either...
He does some little skipping move and shakes his ass like he's a wet dog trying to get the water off him.

Marcus: "Please stop! It's hurting my eyes!"

Now, let me tell you that if you are a good dancer, you are automatically not as much fun as a bad dancer with confidence. I love bad dancers who get out there and do their awkward thing like they are the best dancer in the world. You go, girl!! Or boy!!

The hat really sells it.

These two exchange snarky comments the entire book, and they never stop. Not when they get shot. Not when they are in danger. Not when they are standing over a dead body. Not when they fall in love.

The sass even outlasts the pants. There is pantsless sassiness!

Of course, everything is pantless these days. We all thought that the apocalypse would mean leather pants and lawlessness, but instead it's been no pants and bralessness. Also, snacks and netflix.

Okay, on to reread book 2. Pantsless of course!
Profile Image for MarianR.
216 reviews47 followers
November 3, 2021
I had the time of my life reading this book. For real. A romantic comedy with suspense but not so much? Damn, I enjoyed this so much. The couple! They were incredible. Finn is funny, smart, although he can use humor as a shield for what made him join the VRC-he's being stalked by a vampire-.
Joining VRC forces him to cross paths once more with Marcus, a grumpy vampire who would rather spend his time with his dog than surrounded by people, especially humans.

"How did you shoot the vampires? I watched the security tape of you.” He cocks his head in that annoying way that tells me he knows exactly what I’m talking about but he’s going to play dumb.
“With my gun.” He makes a finger gun and points it at me. “Pow!”
“No pow . Be straight with me.”
“Then I wouldn’t want you as much as I do now.”

The chemistry between Marcus and Finn is great! I laughed a lot. I loved the banter and yisus! I just wanted them to kiss! 😭

"I don’t think you can handle the hardness of it.”
“We could sure try because I know how to handle the hard. I’m just not sure you’re up to the task, ya know? I mean, you are pretty old. Does your…” I glance down at his groin. “Pickle still work?”
“Don’t call it a pickle.”
“Don’t compare my penis to food.” “Inchworm?“Now you’re just being difficult.” “Penetrating schlong.”
“I have never begun and ended a relationship so quickly in my entire life.” That one makes me laugh. “You can’t end me. I’m the gift that just keeps giving.” “Well, it hasn’t even been thirty minutes, I think the receipt still works.”

And the sex scenes with a hint of bite. yummmmmy🧛🧛👅
Besides the romance between these two, they also work together to find out who is behind the attacks that are happening. And while the book focuses more on Marcus and Finn, and there is no trail-following, interrogation-type like Criminal Intentions, it stays steady at their pace. But NO. Its definitely not like CI, you can't really take this seriously because it can be ridiculous and silly, but if you're in the mood, I think you might like it.
Buuuut, I have to tell you, the level of snark it can be too much, in my case, it doesn't bother me, if you give a chance, I hope you like it! ❤️
Profile Image for Meags.
2,115 reviews376 followers
October 19, 2020
4 Stars

How to Vex a Vampire is a high-energy, snark-fest, which readers are probably either going to love or absolutely hate.

Admittedly, the banter and witticisms were a mile-a-fricken-minute here, which understandably could become quite exhausting if this brand humour isn’t your thing. Thankfully, this book opened in my lap at exactly the right time and during the right mood, so I’m one of the lucky ones that had an absolute ball devouring this amusing paranormal themed M/M romance.

Set in an AU world where vampires and humans co-exist together, the story follows human detective Finn, as he wangles his way into the VRC (Vampire Related Crimes unit)—where no human has ever worked before—to be partnered with centuries-old vampire detective Marcus.

As the detectives fight to stop an increasingly dangerous and complex plot to end the vampire-human alliance, Finn consistently works at annoying his way into the hearts of Marcus and his fellow vamp-y teammates, using his incessant snark and inappropriate flirtations to win them over (or exasperate them to death…whichever comes first).

All the while, broody Marcus finds himself progressively protective and possessive of his silly, but highly competent and intelligent, new human partner, as their increased proximity leads to an emotional attachment and attraction that Marcus had once sworn he would never allow himself to feel for another human again.

This story had a bit of everything that I enjoy in my M/M paranormal reads. The world-building was unique and vast, but vague enough to allow for further reveals later in the series. The crime component was engrossing and well-executed, featuring many a high-intensity action sequence to entertain and get the blood pumping. The characters were also very endearing, making the romance factor between Finn and Marcus a pleasure to read, along with the fun and heartfelt dynamics Finn shared with his family and his new teammates. And the tone—one filled with heart and humour—was a welcome treat after so many weeks of more drama intensive reading experiences.

At the end of the day, this story just made me happy. I have no doubt in my mind that I’ll continue on with this series very soon; it’ll be one of the easiest reading decisions I’ve made all year!
Profile Image for Deborah.
3,351 reviews434 followers
February 21, 2020

This book is an absolute delight. It’s funny and entertaining. I loved it from the first page to the last.

It features Finn, a human. He’s a lot like Felix from Darkness. He’s a brilliant detective and doesn’t let his disability slow him down in any way. He’s witty and never at a loss for words.

And Marcus aka Bitey McBiterson, McBitey, Bitey McFangface, Fangy McFangface etc is an ancient vampire. He’s considered serious and a bit aloof. Well he was before Finn.

Marcus has a huge Irish wolf hound called Artemus aka Puppers.

This book is definitely going on my re-read list. It ticks so many boxes for me. Not only are the characters brilliant and funny. But the story is interesting as well. And everything is set up for the next book. Which hopefully we won’t have to wait too long for.

Alice Winters has quickly become one of my favourite authors. Until I read the Hitman books I’d no idea I loved crazy so much.
Profile Image for Ariana  (mostly offline).
1,366 reviews39 followers
March 23, 2020
*4,25 stars*

It seems I tend to have a love/hate relationship with Alice Winters’s characters.

While I had severe trouble coping with Leland (‘The Hitman’s Guide to Making Friend and Finding Love’), Finn really cracked me up in a good way. They are cut very much from the same cloth, constantly bantering, joking, often with sexual innuendo, so why did I find Finn funny when I wanted to kick Leland’s ankles?

Tbh. I’m not sure if I have a clear answer.
Maybe it’s because this is set in an alternative universe?
Maybe it’s because I found the whole ‘knocking the big, scary vampires’-theme hilarious?
Maybe it’s because Finn isn’t just all jokey, but has a heart-rending back story? (I was gob-smacked when I found out about his challenges).
Maybe it’s because of the dark and scary mystery we get glimpses of and I can’t wait to find more out about?

Finn and Marcus are funny and cute together, their banter is stellar and what can be more appealing than a growly, possessive vampire going all soft and sweet over a ‘scrawny, big-mouthed’ human?
And of course, I totally lost my heart to Artemus, the Irish wolfhound!

Whatever it is, this worked for me and made me smile non-stop all the way.
And now I’m seriously looking forward to book!
Profile Image for Kathleen.
1,388 reviews122 followers
April 28, 2020
3 stars; two for the story, one for the incredible Irish Wolfhound

I don't think this author's writing style and I are going to get along. The middle-school-boys humor, the juvenile banter, the overuse of exclamation points, the sophomoric writing, poor world building, poor police procedure, failure to research firearms... Nope, not my cuppa.
Profile Image for Al *the semi serial series skipper*.
1,658 reviews671 followers
April 27, 2020

Who do I meet in order to reclaim the time I lost reading this drivel. I absolutely hated Finn, he was a meal that looked incredibly mouthwatering but after trying it, you find out it taste like dirt. That was Finn. I am even 'weirded' out by that analogy I just used.

I was expecting to read a good mystery with some smut because...vampires. Instead I got a guy who just would not take anything serious, everything had a punchline with him, there was always a joke to be said, some flirtatious remark when there was no need for it. No thanks, I'd rather be bored.
Profile Image for destiny ♡ howling libraries.
1,662 reviews5,143 followers
June 1, 2022
This was absolutely adorable, and I'm so glad I read it. I didn't know how much I needed a cheesy, over-the-top rom-com in my life, but it perfectly hit the spot. I originally gave this 4 stars until I realized that, in all honesty, I couldn't think of any good reason not to give it the full 5. While it is the kind of book that definitely won't work for everyone, as the humor is really cheesy at times, it just worked so well for me.

Finn is absolutely precious and needs to be protected at all costs. He is such a little gem, and while his own tendency to hide from his loved ones when he's feeling insecure might be a little bit tough to read at times, it felt realistic and believable. Marcus was lovable too, and while we didn't get to spend as much time in his head, I feel like by the end of the book we were really starting to get a good feel for how his mind works. He was a touch overly possessive for me at times, but on the other hand, sometimes it felt like he was playing it up because he knew how much it made Finn laugh - either way, it wasn't bothersome enough to lessen my opinion of their pairing.

Most of all, I loved the disability rep in this. While I'll go ahead and say I do not have prostheses and can't speak for it in that regard, simply speaking as a reader who has invisible disabilities, I loved Finn's internal monologue around his own disability and the commentary surrounding it - his fear of being viewed as lesser, his frustrations with being coddled, and most of all, the adoration he has for his prostheses when he muses on how helpful they are. I also loved that, despite Finn being very strong and capable, the author didn't shy away from showing his shortcomings, too. This just genuinely felt like such nuanced representation that was clearly crafted with a lot of love, and that meant so much to me.

In case you couldn't tell, I loved this book a whole lot for many reasons, and I definitely need to continue the series. I'm fully invested not only in this couple, but also in the angst and drama going on with Finn's big twist from his past, and that ending has me on the edge of my seat a bit. Plus, I think some later books in the series follow a couple of side characters I loved very much! I can't wait to continue this series and hope the next book is just as lovable.

Representation: Finn has a prosthetic leg and prosthetic arm; multiple (most?) characters are queer (no specific sexualities stated)

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Profile Image for True Loveislovereview.
2,243 reviews1 follower
March 2, 2020
5 BIG stars Fabulously written story with a great mix of humor, tension, and suspense, with a big strong vampire who struggles hiding his feelings and falling hard for this very small annoying hilarious, but very lovable human. One who has a lot of secrets, one very threatening enemy and a bunch of vampires who want to protect him. Emphasis on humor, feelings and suspense goshhhh it was the best of the best!
Finnigan Hayes is a homicide detective and Marcus Church is part of the VRC—Vampire Related Crimes.

For certain specific reasons Finn wants to join VRC, he succeeds, and is partnered with Marcus. Finn loves to tease the big, grumpy vampire Marcus, who wants to get rid of him asap.
Marcus doesn’t want this infuriating little human; he shows what an arrogant bastard he is, Finn can handle him and loves being a lovely pain in the ass, or more his lovely pain in the ass.

“Is it because I don’t gnaw on people? I mean, I can give a mean hickey”

The humor is one of a kind, so delightful. The title says a lot ;)

“I tried my hardest to be late, but I also hate being late, so somehow I ended up being perfectly on time.”

These lines, they cracked me, in the context it fits perfectly, it was so delightfully funny.

Marcus does everything in his power to scare and run Finn off. In his eyes, Finn is too vulnerable as a human. Finn is immune to all his attempts and it seems he has no fear, except for his biggest fear, his enemy.

They are on a big case, it seems some humans want to destroy the vampires by destroying the good relationship between vampires and humans.
It’s getting dangerous. There are several thrilling incidents.
Marcus is over his head and swooned by this annoying but oh so lovable human being, and he will protect him, period.

This story is a fast-paced must-read. I loved the suspense, I sat right up in my bed, reading, it was so thrilling! I couldn’t put it down and was amazed by this author’s writing and even more by all the delicious humor, all the various expressions of snarky, witty comments. Both Marcus and Finn were the most endearing characters. Their moments with sexiness and tenderness were so delectable and heartwarming, the whole draft was stunning.

Profile Image for Sabrina.
492 reviews
October 23, 2020
DNF @20%

Listen, I am sure that some people (not me) find Finn funny and quirky and lol he’s so funny omg (not me).

But... No. He is trying way too hard to be funny and his humor just...falls flat. The author is trying way too hard to make the character oh so funny and quirky and so different from serious Marcus that the stream of “jokes” is constant. Like, seriously, the character can’t say one line without cracking a “joke”. By 20% I was already done with it and him. I can’t imagine 80% more of the same joker over and over again.

Like everything in life, moderation is key. A joke here and there, some banter here and there, some snark here and there....but this was CONSTANT and constantly lame as well.
Profile Image for Billie Bloom.
Author 17 books279 followers
October 16, 2021
Snarky. Creative. Sexy.

Oh my gosh Alice! Get out of here! This was brilliant. Apparently I want to be bit by a vampire because thats sexy, who know?

This was such a creative concept and there is an HEA plus a cliffhanger so I have no time to write more on this review because I gotta bounce and download the next book in the series… things in this mystery just kicked up ten notches!
Profile Image for Lisazj1.
2,072 reviews147 followers
April 19, 2020
This was a lot of fun, and I ended up loving it. Banter and humor was what I was looking for and I definitely got it. Though I have to confess there were a few times I thought it might go just a little bit past the point of too much and make me tired of it, Marcus and Finn together managed to stay charming enough to entertain me and make me laugh out loud.

A few great secondaries that I hope to get more from and a scary, sinister bad guy hiding in the shadows coming for Finn *not that Marcus is having any of that shit, LOL* has me really looking forward to the next one!
Profile Image for Theresa.
3,038 reviews
March 11, 2020
DNF @ 56%. Dog was the best character.

Tiresome banter. No sexual chemistry. Poor world building. Lame crime procedures. Jumpy time skips.
Profile Image for Vanna  on semi hiatus.
597 reviews59 followers
April 13, 2020
3.5 Liked it but did not love it Stars!!💕👍. So let me begin by saying that I'm not a fan of the paranormal genre, especially vampires. I have read only 1 other vampire MM story which came highly recommended by a friend. This too was highly recommended so I took a chance on it. Honestly speaking, it started out very well with 2 completely opposite MCs and plenty of sass and humor. As the story acquired more depth and gathered some dark undertones, the MCs too gained more perspective and insight into one another. I enjoyed the action, thrill, witty banter and the slow burn till about 2/3rds into the book when the humor and sass just became too silly and unnecessary. Finn became from a vulnerable-yet-brave-with-a-positive-outlook-in-life kinda person to a shallow-silly-caricature of himself. Even Marcus became from a confident smug vampire to an insecure clingy version of himself. It just became a little too over the top for me. Nevertheless, the story was interesting and absorbing so I ventured on till the end😳. The slow-burn too culminated into some serious heat between the sheets..🔥💕🔥 which was a long time coming.😍 And although I was disappointed at the HFN ending 😬(which only provided closure on the case that the VRC was working on) I had an inkling that the background plot with the hidden threat could not be solved by the end of the book. And so we wait for the sequel now... I hope the mystery ends there.. because I don't see myself coming for a 3rd book for the same shenanigans.
Highly recommended to all fans of vampires who are looking for dollops of humor & sass 👍😁
Profile Image for Susan.
2,195 reviews397 followers
July 6, 2020
I wasn’t sure if I would like this since I hated The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love, but this was a nice surprise.

At first I wanted to give this 4.5 stars, but I’m settling for 4, because the silly banter got a little old in the second half.

I’m glad this book wasn’t just banter, but we also had an exciting case to solve. And of course we had a super interesting main character in Finn, who only had one arm and one leg.

I loved how everyone thought he was just this happy carefree guy, while he actually survived something horrific where he lost his left arm and right leg. No one ever suspected he wore super advanced protheses.

So with the promise of some hurt/comfort and lots of banter, I got all excited when I started this. And I really was pleasantly surprised. I thought the whole arm and leg thing added a more serious note to balance out the craziness.

And I really liked how Finn never felt insulted by anyone in his team, no matter how insulting they tried to be. Finn somehow made everyone love him.

Especially Marcus, the ancient broody dangerous vampire, who turned out to have a soft spot for Finn.

So overall I really liked this, and even though I’m still curious what exactly happened to Finn, I’m quite happy with what we got so far.

Onto the next one!
Profile Image for Chris.
2,067 reviews
March 9, 2020
I really enjoyed this ... I know it was silly at times and a little OTT but I connected with the characters... their wit, loyalty and vulnerability. I’m so glad there’s a second book as I was hoping the “menacing vamp” wasn’t going to be resolved in the last 5% !!! Perfect ❤️ can’t wait for further adventures ... loved this way more than I expected
Profile Image for fleurette.
1,359 reviews115 followers
January 12, 2021
This book reminded me why I don't like funny books. More often than not I find them annoying, and so unfortunately was the case with this book.

But most of all, this book is wordy. From beginning to end, it is filled with a whole lot of unnecessary dialogues that try very hard to be funny. To such an extent that they become unbearable. I was by a whisker away from not finishing this book because I was fed up with those silly jokes and endless conversations.

It's been a long time since I met such an annoying hero as Finn. Being in his head is a chore. This guy can't be serious at all. I couldn't wait for him to finally shut up. I know his gaiety is supposed to cover his uncertainty and fear, but I couldn't find any sympathy for him. This kid is so annoying! Worse, Marcus, who I liked at the beginning, was starting to turn into some kind of copy of Finn too! Marcus is quite an underdeveloped character. We don't know much about him, about his past, feelings and character. And this despite the fact that part of the story is from his perspective.

Unfortunately, a pile of jokes cannot hide the rather weak plot. Although maybe that isn't even it. It's just that the action slows down a lot because of all the dialogues and jokes. At times when you sit waiting for what will happen, Finn has to show off his questionable eloquence. Most of the time, I just waited for Finn to shut up so the story could finally move on.

This, unfortunately, also applies to sex scenes. I can't believe I'm saying this, but the sex scenes are waffly! Even at this point, we have to listen to a whole bunch of silly jokes. As a result, these scenes are completely devoid of climate. There is simply no chemistry between Finn and Marcus, both in and out of bed. To be honest, it's hard for me to even find any feelings between them. Why are they interested in each other? I'm not sure. One might consider that they share this primitive sense of humor, but the author does not suggest such thing. I'm not sure if Finn and Marcus even like each other, whether or not they're talking about love. Their feelings are kind of flat.

In over 350 pages of this book, there is not enough space to solve the case of the vampire who hounded Finn. Which, in fact, is not that weird considering the amount of space devoted to non-funny jokes. But I'm not curious at all. I doubt I'd endure another 300 pages in Finn's head. This is my first and last book in this series.
Profile Image for Sunny.
13 reviews
December 23, 2020
This is probably one of those it’s not the book it’s me situations because the reviews so far seem to be quite good and I don’t get why.

The biggest issue I had with this book was the writing. It felt like I was reading fan fiction. All descriptions (at the rare times they are provided) are written in a very simple and dull way. Character interactions are simply silly. There are no details, and everything happens so suddenly. It’s like the author is speeding past everything. One second we’re in bed, and the next it’s two weeks later in a police station.
I’m not overly familiar with the author so I don’t know if she usually writes like this, maybe it’s just a writing style I don’t appreciate.

The other issue is the humour. Not only was it rarely funny, it was also repetitive and honestly, kind of ridiculous. The characters are talking like they’re 10. They’re adult men bickering like 10 year olds. Again, maybe it’s just not my type of humour.

The premise is quite interesting, not very original but it’s the only reason I finished reading it because the never ending silly insults do not make the characters very likeable. Overall, had it been better executed, this could have been a great book.
Profile Image for Cee.
2,384 reviews99 followers
February 2, 2023
HILARIOUS! I immediately read book two and am looking forward to book 3.
Also, since it has been 3 months since I read this, I can say I've read almost every other book this author has written now. I'm now a huge fan.

Her books have lovable characters, make me laugh to the point of tears, and I swear I highlight passages in these books more than others. Definitely books I'll be re-reading.

Oh oh I also think it is really cool how the main dude is a human and is missing limbs. It isn't often we read about a character like this.
I do wish the romance was slower... if felt okay and then really sped up there.
Profile Image for  Riley .
532 reviews55 followers
July 9, 2020
4 Stars!

It seems that Ms. Winters specializes in polarizing readers. The reviews are yes or no. Not much in between. I for one ...

This book was hilarious, in a rather OTT way, but I don't even care. So much banter and snark! Ms. Winters definitely has a gift for both. It's literally non-stop, and I thought that might've bothered me, but it didn't. I actually found it endearing. I loved both of our MCs, but Marcus was my favorite. He wanted to be such a badass vampire, and he was...mostly, but around Finn, he was such a creampuff! He really didn't stand a chance against him anyway. Boy was relentless.

Add an adorable dog named, Artemis (Artie after Finn meets him) an Irish wolfhound who tries to interrupt sexy times, and constantly disobeys Marcus after he meets Finn bc he's corrupted him with too many luvins and broken him, according to Marcus. Life will never be the same.

Oh! And that evil, oppressive presence? Yikes!

I can't wait to find out who it is! Seriously creepy vibes coming from that guy.

It's been rough lately, so this was just the thing to make me laugh and add some levity to my stressful week. Thank you Ms. Winters. ♥
Profile Image for Daphne .
714 reviews1 follower
February 26, 2020
I like the banter this author is known for but this book was exhausting with it - too much, way too much. I hope the next book dials it down by about 75%.
Profile Image for Athira.
473 reviews28 followers
February 13, 2020
Hilarious start to an absolutely fun new series! Totally adored the banter between Marcus and Finn! Marcus is such a grumpy bear.

There is suspense, drama, action, bad attempts at flirting and even worse attempts at dirty talk. This was such a fun book. Sarcastic, funny and sexy, I cannot wait to read the next book. And vampires!!!

“Why is it that everything I say backfires and makes me either into a horrible person or a pervert?” he asks as he begins to drive. I grin. “Maybe that’s just your true nature trying to squeeze its way out, and you’ve never noticed it before?”

Finn is like a hurricane. And Marcus never stood a chance. Finn also uses his humour as a diversion tactic and as a defense mechanism. And 9 out 10 times it works.

Marcus and Finn has amazing chemistry and they are adorable together.
I loved all the secondary characters, especially Karsyn. Please tell me he's going to get a book. With DeGray obviously. Looking forward to the next book!

*ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest and unbiased review
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