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342 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 18, 2020
Finn gives me that cutesy smile while dragging a man twice his size along with him. “I’m so glad you’re here!”I found the humor to be "mostly" spot on, but for those bothered by OTT banter, this story was... a LOT. As in the verbal sparring wasn't back and forth, then done. It tended to go on longer than some will probably like, so just a warning there.
“I was just… coming to save you.”
“Oh, thanks, but I saved myself and everyone else. If I’d have known you were coming to save me, I would have waited. It sounds sexy to be saved by you. Do you want me to go back inside?”
Karsyn growls. “I hate him, but I still don’t hate him as much as your smiling face.”
“Aw, you’ve noticed my smile. That’s very sweet.”
His eyes narrow. “And the vampire is storming his way over here… oh! And intercepted by Brooks. Why is it that every time I get excited that someone’s going to eat you, it never happens?” Karsyn asks, but I love that he no longer dislikes me, even if he tries to pretend he does.
Marcus slides into his chair next to me. “Who’s eating the human? I brought some barbeque sauce.”
“See ya at work tomorrow, Brooks.”
Brooks shakes his head, clearly forgetting how to show excitement. “Don’t come in.”
I grin at him as I back toward the door. “You know you don’t mean that!”
“Don’t come in, Finn! No one wants you!”
“Church does,” I say as I wink toward a scowling Church before leaving the room. While I know they have no interest in me because I’m human, I also know that I will whittle them down until they let me join.
I hate dealing with humans. You try to like them and then they just die off.
“No idea what you’re talking about. We’re not dating. We’re just sharing a connection of emotions, love, and support,” Finn says. “And sometimes we sleep naked next to each other. But there’s a dog between us, so that’s not creepy at all.”
“Oh, well, that’s a relief and has cleared everything up,” Brooks says sarcastically.
“Does the dog… want to be part of this relationship?” Orin asks, like he’s concerned.
“He loves it. Especially when I pin him down and force him to love me. It’s his favorite part. I do the same thing to Marcus. He just doesn’t always lick me in the face in return.”
“Sometimes,” I say.
Finn nods. “Just sometimes.”
Brooks sighs. “This is a disaster.”
“Welcome to Dealing with Finnigan,” Orin inputs.
“On your face?”
He looks highly amused by this. “Like… your feet just gave up and you just splat right onto the ground?” He even pulls out hand motions for this to emphasize the splatting.
“That’s pretty much what happened.”
“Wow, I definitely want someone with that level of agility as my partner. Please, teach me your secrets.”
“You know what? You’re evil,” I say as I jab a finger at him. “I marred my perfect face, and you’re enjoying it.”
He snickers. “It’s kind of cute. You know, like when the little baby gazelle is just born and it’s all wobbly, but in this case, it’ll be like the little baby gazelle is just born and a lion is waiting for it to drop so it can eat it.”
I give him a look of horror. “Are you planning on eating me again? Brooks! Church is trying to eat me again, and this time I didn’t even do anything but be perfect!” I call out.
Karsyn spins around in his chair. “Did I hear someone say we’re eating the human? Count me in.”
“Please don’t fight over me, boys. I’m a one-man kind of guy,” I say. “Now where is this meeting?”
“Can we talk?”
“Of course. Are you going to ask me on a date? Blackmail me into dating you? Spoiler alert, I’ll say yes.”
“No. Come on.”
“I already have my date outfit planned. Thong. That’s it. Not the cute kind either. The one with like the penis sling in the shape of some strange object. Maybe an ice cream cone. Do you like ice cream?”
“You do realize we work in a place filled with vampires who can probably hear you harassing me?”