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The End of Gender: Debunking the Myths about Sex and Identity in Our Society

Debra Soh

4.09 · Rating details · 1,050 ratings · 223 reviews

International sex researcher, neuroscientist, and columnist Debra Soh debunks popular gender myths in this research-based, scientific examination of the many facets of gender identity.

Is our gender something we’re born with, or are we conditioned by society? In The End of Gender, neuroscientist and sexologist Dr. Debra Soh uses a research-based approach to address this hot ...more

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Hardcover, 336 pages

Published August 4th 2020 by Threshold Editions

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Aug 09, 2020 James Harling rated it it was amazing

In 2007 I took a small-group social psychology class. As stereotypical as it gets, the chubby short-haired middle-aged man-hating lesbian SJW professor had us all stand up and introduce ourselves.

I stand up.

"Hello. I'm James and my studies are focusing on evolutionary psychology because I think it's interesting how something as simple as difference in gamete sizes—man having many, small sex cells; women having fewer, bigger sex cells—can be used to explain so much of modern day behaviour and... ...more

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Aug 06, 2020 Youp rated it really liked it

Summary
An important and complete work that refutes the increasingly more popular claims regarding gender, sex, biology and transgenderism. For those familiar with the subject, this is a great résumé and disproof of the current culture craze. For others, this will be a quite a ride on the crazy train.

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Coward Culture
Imagine having been in a coma for over ten years, and waking up in 2020. You would think that a worldwide pandemic and Donald Trump in the White House should be the craziest ...more

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Aug 07, 2020 Geoffrey Fong rated it it was amazing

Dr Debra Soh does an excellent job of taking a non-bais and open-minded approach while writing this book. I found this book through the Joe Rogan podcast as I did with “Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters”. While Irreversible damage focuses on Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria on young women, this book takes a more broad approach to the transgender movement. The book is sectioned into three parts. The first is the “foundations” of the transgender movement like sex is a s ...more

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Sep 04, 2020 Ilana rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Necessary reading for our insane times. Dr. Soh offers a sane, rational, compassionate and above all, non-partisan explanation on the state of the gender movement today and its implications for our youth, our learning establishments, employer & government policies, and supposedly new scientific findings, which are arrived at not through impartiality and a rigorous adherence to scientific methods, but partisanship and activism pushing a woke agenda.

There are already loads of great reviews for th ...more

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Oct 03, 2020 Shelley rated it really liked it

Shelves: non-fiction, audible

There’s a new wave of joyless, party-crashing puritans on the scene, and, this time, they are not coming from the religious right but the secular left. Many liberals who cannot abide science denial when it comes from conservative religious groups are happy to turn a blind eye when left-wing activists not only deny obvious truths about sex and gender that are well-supported by science but also persecute those who dare question their orthodoxy. This toxic and oppressive climate compelled free-thin There’s a new wave of joyless, party-crashing puritans on the scene, and, this time, they are not coming from the religious right but the secular left. Many liberals who cannot abide science denial when it comes from conservative religious groups are happy to turn a blind eye when left-wing activists not only deny obvious truths about sex and gender that are well-supported by science but also persecute those who dare question their orthodoxy. This toxic and oppressive climate compelled free-thinking sexologist Debra Soh to leave academia and write The End of Gender, a fascinating book that outlines with wit, compassion, and precision the ways in which the science of sex is being hijacked by illiberal activists pushing a political agenda.

It’s a strange world indeed when conservative Christians, radical feminists, and an atheist sexologist whose research specializes in “kinky sex” find enough common ground to link arms when it comes to beliefs about sex and gender. I never thought I would see the day, but here we are. Though Soh and I would disagree on many foundational levels, I found most of her conclusions persuasive and refreshing. It’s one thing when you’re asked to quietly tolerate lies that fly in the face of science and common sense; it’s another thing when you’re compelled to recite them, embrace them, celebrate them, and act pleased when your unsuspecting kids are indoctrinated with them at school. Thoughtful people can only take this for so long without feeling utterly demoralized, and I’m glad there are people like Soh who are brave enough to push back against the activist mob and tell the truth.

The big takeaway points from this book: biological sex is real; there are only two sexes, male and female; no matter how you alter your body, your biological sex does not fundamentally change; gender is not a mere social construct (I can’t tell you how many times my erudite undergraduate and graduate professors at two different well-respected, progressive US universities insisted that it was); and, guess what, there is no such thing as “lunagender,” a gender that fluctuates according to the moon’s cycle.

People are free to believe that sex and gender are fluid and that there is an infinite number of genders open to each one of us. I don’t want to live in a world where everyone is forced to think the same way. But, we should acknowledge these beliefs for what they are— religious beliefs accepted on faith and in conflict with science—and stop foisting them on those who beg to differ. Science is not God to me; it’s flawed, and I don’t expect people to accept as gospel truth every scientific study that comes down the pike. But, the West needs the courage to stop pretending that activist dogma is real science when it’s not, and we need to stop harassing scientists whose work challenges the dominant narrative on sex and gender. No one wins in a society where serious sex research can’t take place. Women, especially, suffer.

Some of the same people who would mock and revile so-called “creation science” are now putting pressure on others to accept “lunagender” as a scientific reality. This is ridiculous, it’s hypocritical, it’s stupid, and I’m tired of it. ...more

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Aug 07, 2020 Sarah rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

At a time when basic tenets of biology are being threatened by overzealous activists in the name of political correctness, it has become increasingly hard to find rational voices. Dr. Soh is one of them. She reaffirms biological facts and addresses new and emerging science to arm readers against nonsense.

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Sep 08, 2020 Ina rated it it was ok

Very valuable points, most of which I agree with, so I'm not critiquing from a place of ideological conflict.

My issue is that the points were very poorly argued and the book seemed poorly written.

Instead of stating her position and then providing numerous examples from the scientific literature to elaborate and prove her points, the author states a point, often not making it sufficiently clear to begin with, and then goes on these semi-ranty tangents about how the issue plays out in her personal Very valuable points, most of which I agree with, so I'm not critiquing from a place of ideological conflict.

My issue is that the points were very poorly argued and the book seemed poorly written.

Instead of stating her position and then providing numerous examples from the scientific literature to elaborate and prove her points, the author states a point, often not making it sufficiently clear to begin with, and then goes on these semi-ranty tangents about how the issue plays out in her personal experience or on social media. Even if you have the most solid position on Earth, that's not a good way of arguing it.

Often it felt like she was more in the business of describing the current internet debates around gender than the scientific knowledge and findings. Seeing how quickly the internet landscape changes, this would probably render the book obsolete in a few years. Although her unique perspective as an ex-researcher leaving due to disenchantment with the field is enlightening, a stronger scientific backbone to the text would have given it more longevity and, in my opinion, more value for the reader.

The writing is also very repetitive and jumpy. Although the general structure, the sections and the chapters, have a clear logic to them, the actual content of each chapter feels like a bit of a brain dump that hasn't been edited yet. I'm also not a big fan of 'we'll talk more about this in chapter X' when used as excessively as it was in this book. If you feel the need to jump back and forth so much meaningwise, then the text probably wasn't laid out in the most logical and flowy way.

The many times that Soh chose to insert references to her clubbing days, friendships with members of the LGBT community, her punk phase and her alleged masculinity also didn't seem to be furthering the goal of the text. They were overly repetitive and to me personally read as a grab for cool girl points, rather than a meaningful piece of self-disclosure.

Really disheartening, because there aren't many books out there right now stating the unpopular truths Soh has the courage to present here, but I think it just wasn't written well enough to have the needed impact. ...more

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Aug 18, 2020 Benji Rust rated it liked it

There are a number of problems with this book, despite it being an undeniably interesting and provocative read. The first is that because this is intended to be a popular work aimed at a lay audience there has been a certain dumbing down of what is an inescapably complex subject matter, with highly contested studies and research briskly skipped over, with only the most superficial objections to the notion of a 'gendered brain' being acknowledged. Soh also has the habit of making assertions which There are a number of problems with this book, despite it being an undeniably interesting and provocative read. The first is that because this is intended to be a popular work aimed at a lay audience there has been a certain dumbing down of what is an inescapably complex subject matter, with highly contested studies and research briskly skipped over, with only the most superficial objections to the notion of a 'gendered brain' being acknowledged. Soh also has the habit of making assertions which leave you scratching your head wanting much more in the way of explanation.

Despite pointing out that there is a material, objective foundation to biological sex, it could be argued that Soh's central assertion - that gender as well as sex is wholly biologically determined - actually gives credence to much of the ground the trans lobby positions itself on. The idea that there are distinct 'masculine' and 'feminine' brains, influenced, Soh appears to suggest, by varying levels of exposure to pre-natal testosterone, could support the argument that some people are simply 'born into the wrong body,' a fact she acknowledges but somewhat brushes over too lightly.

What this book should do is make you want to go away and do more digging, examining in more detail the studies and researchers she mentions. Gina Rippon's 2019 book 'The Gendered Brain: The New Neuroscience That Shatters The Myth of the Female Brain' might be a good place to start for counter-balance, as it discusses many of these theories in a far more rigorous and, I would suggest, convincing way than Soh manages to. Critically examining a wide range of studies, including many that Soh cites, she concludes, in complete contradiction to this book, that there is no consistent and reliable evidence proving a fundamental difference between male and female brains, and little consistency of findings across studies. Rather than see Soh plug her book by being interviewed by the likes of Joe Rogan or, even worse, Ben Shapiro, it would be fascinating to see her debate these issues with someone like Rippon. Although she mentions and rejects the accusation, Soh's arguments do seem to rest upon a biological reductionism, underplaying the extent to which social influences affect brain development and the ways in which our brains respond to experience.

Soh ends her book with a call to defend academic freedom. There's nothing wrong with that, but there is, however, insufficient understanding or regard in the preceding pages paid to the social roots of identity politics, the manner in which a foregrounding of identity and notions of the self have arisen in tandem with the relentless rise of the free market, with gender politics taking on the language of progressiveness whilst simultaneously promoting an extremely traditional and conservative, if disturbingly narcissistic, agenda.

...more

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Oct 24, 2020 Davia Finch rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: transgender, reviewed, gender, sexology

This book is a complete mess. It reads like a blog post, not science reporting, and relies as heavily on anecdotes as references. I'm not sure what book other people were reading, but it wasn't the book I read.

Now, I am not entirely unsympathetic. I even agree with some of Soh's points, but Soh seems more concerned with terrorizing people with the weird anti-trans activist straw man "gender ideology" than she is with making clear, coherent arguments based on logic and evidence. Arguments which m This book is a complete mess. It reads like a blog post, not science reporting, and relies as heavily on anecdotes as references. I'm not sure what book other people were reading, but it wasn't the book I read.

Now, I am not entirely unsympathetic. I even agree with some of Soh's points, but Soh seems more concerned with terrorizing people with the weird anti-trans activist straw man "gender ideology" than she is with making clear, coherent arguments based on logic and evidence. Arguments which might in some way persuade people who are on the fence. Come on, Debra: convince me! This is science; we both know common sense arguments like "there are only two genders" aren't going to cut it in a book about the science of gender. If common sense was all anyone needed, we'd still think the world was flat.

You'd think in a book about science and freedom of intellectual inquiry the scientific debate would be the preeminent part of the book, the meat and potatoes, the dog AND the pony, and I would have LOVED to see that here, but Soh consistently represents only one side of the debate. And she doesn't even do a good job of that. There's only a sprinkling of references to scientific papers in a porridge of autobiographical rhetoric, as if the mere existence of these papers is somehow conclusive. (I'm sure they seem that way to Soh.) The problem is, very good arguments have been made against the conclusions drawn by the authors of many of those papers. Things like Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (lol) and autogynephilia have been heavily criticized because they're NOT adequate explanations for the observed phenomena. (That is how the scientific process works, Debra.) But you won't find those arguments here, because this book isn't a debate; and because it's not a debate, it doesn't actually debunk anything; it's a political pamphlet with a bombastic title and a victim narrative. Freedom of intellectual inquiry is indeed very important (no argument here; I agree 100% with Soh on that issue and I don't agree with deplatforming or harassment or other anti-social behaviors); but then, I am very far from being afraid of anything that science has to say. And neither are the vast majority of trans people. Like most trans people, I know a lot more about reproductive biology than I ever wanted to know, and certainly much more than the average person on the street. (The apparent target audience for this book.) XY chromosomes mean a person is male? Please, tell me more. I've never heard of such things...

The book is filled with "horror stories" about academics (her friends, it seems) who were "vilified" by "gender ideology activists" but she doesn't bother to explain the actual argument between the academics and the activists on scientific grounds. Many activists are scientists, after all, with PhDs in subjects like biology and neuroscience, just like Soh. But according to Soh, you can't be both a scientist and an activist (how convenient for her argument). Of course, as Soh herself has clearly written a work of activism and not science, I could argue that it behooves us all to maintain the same skepticism toward her own work as we are told to maintain toward the people she's caricaturing. A one-sided book can never be an objective book, after all, almost by definition. But unlike Soh, I happen to believe a person's arguments should be evaluated in their own right and that whether or not they're an activist is entirely irrelevant so far as that goes. I wouldn't want anyone to discount her book just because she's an activist. By all means, be ruthless when evaluating people's arguments. But be impartially ruthless. All of the vilified scientists in the field of sexology were operating under dogmas, too, unexamined or not. There is no such thing as a purely objective, ideologically free person. (Now there's a myth that should have been debunked.)

As Soh makes no attempt to explain (or, apparently, even to understand) the thinking of the people she's criticizing, fails to understand identity entirely, and merely tars and feathers everyone she disagrees with as "anti-science" and "biology deniers", it's hard to see how she's refuted anything at all in this book. What she's refuted are claims that the vast majority of trans people, gender therapists, doctors, and scientists dealing with gender identity don't even hold. I'm sure there are some fringe activists out there with weird ideas about some of this stuff (there always are), and there are always people who oversimplify or push things too far, but they're pretty hard to find in the trans community in general. Newsflash! Most trans people also believe in science. How can trans people be "biology deniers" when their dysphoria is mostly about that biology? (Seriously, what trans person doesn't know about chromosomes and hormones and reproductive biology and secondary sex characteristics? That's all they seem to talk about sometimes, lol.)

What I see in this book is the same set of misconceptions that I see in many books criticizing "progressive" notions of gender. Someone (a cis person) has failed to understand what someone else (a trans person, feminist, whatever) is trying to say and they've written a book about it under the misconception that they have understood it. And other people, who also don't understand what those people are trying to say, feel vindicated and "common sense" prevails. Unfortunately for those who are partial to common sense, nature and science are under no obligation to accommodate them. ...more

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Aug 20, 2020 J.D. rated it it was amazing

5/5

Critical. Serious. Partially Humorous. Well-Informed. Encouraging. Unyielding. Honest. Scientific. Thoughtful. Brave.

I try as much as I can to be as well informed of things as possible, and I enjoy reading from all sources. This book is no different. I will be brief.

This is a timely book. I enjoyed it for its examples and tenacity in a time where it is particularly difficult to discuss these important matters. I won't be uncritical and say that it's "thorough and exhaustive," but it is acc ...more

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Mar 05, 2021 Woman Reading rated it really liked it

Shelves: read-women-2021-challenge, 4-stars-very-good, nfbc-botm-and-br, nonfiction-2021-challenge

America is in the midst of a cultural war, and The End of Gender focuses on the battlefront of gender politics. The author is Deborah Soh, who has a PhD in sexology, which is the scientific, quantitative study of human sexuality and gender. Soh describes herself as a gender-atypical, liberal feminist.

When I began reading sexological papers, the realization that female and male sexual systems were at all different completely upended my worldview.

Dedicated to "those who blocked her o ...more

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Sep 11, 2020 Sandra rated it it was amazing

Shelves: biology, science, gender

A solid book that would be "ah, interesting"/5 in a normal world. I learned next to nothing new, mostly because I frequent Twitter way more than is good for my mental health. Anyways, it's about the science of sex and gender, and is systematic, honest (about what science does or doesn't tell us), kind and rationally inclusive - good enough for me.
The last chapter, The End of Academic Freedom, should terrify us all equally.
That some will find anything in here transphobic is too exhausting to cons ...more

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Aug 12, 2020 Brianna Silva rated it really liked it

Shelves: science-science, activist-education, lgbtq

This is an incredibly important and timely book. I'm not going to give a thorough review right now, because I want to spend some time looking up the science Dr. Soh references in order to fully draw my own conclusions on several things she brings up.

If what she says on children transitioning is accurate, though, there are very profound and concerning implications. I find this especially troubling as a masc lesbian, seeing it is young masc lesbians who are most at risk under the current false na This is an incredibly important and timely book. I'm not going to give a thorough review right now, because I want to spend some time looking up the science Dr. Soh references in order to fully draw my own conclusions on several things she brings up.

If what she says on children transitioning is accurate, though, there are very profound and concerning implications. I find this especially troubling as a masc lesbian, seeing it is young masc lesbians who are most at risk under the current false narratives and myths around gender and identity.

This renders the book very important for young people, and for parents of young people.

That being said, there are two issues in this book where I remain unconvinced by Dr. Soh's arguments (even though at the whole, the book comes across to me as very solid). These issues are related to non-binary identities and autogynephilia.

What I wish she would have touched on with non-binary identities is the fact that some people experience gender dysphoria enough to partially transition, taking hormones etc., but not enough to identify as the opposite sex. This to me seems like a solid reason to be open-minded to at least the possibility of non-binary identities (though I share her concerns over the explosion of non-binary identities and how a fair amount of that may be driven by misogyny and homophobia).

Perhaps she didn't bring this up because there haven't been scientific studies on this? I don't know if there have been or not. But I still think this is something she should have mentioned. At the very least, it's a fascinating phenomenon that needs to be legitimately studied.

As for autogynephilia, it seems reasonable to assume that some MTF trans people experience this, but there are also lots who deny it reflects their experiences. To explain away this denial with other theoretical factors comes across as special pleading to me, which I found really disappointing, as Dr. Soh seems very rational and objective in other areas. ContraPoints did a very thorough video on the topic I found insightful, and it's worth watching for an alternative perspective. ...more

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Aug 09, 2020 Kenji rated it it was amazing

I seriously don't understand why people are adding this book into the "politics" category. This book is not related to politics, and the author does a great job at writing from an unbiased, scientific point of view.
The only reason why anyone should give this book a 1-star is because they don't agree with the scientific evidence of this book, not because it disagrees with your views or hurts your feelings. ...more

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Aug 24, 2020 Courtney Bannerman rated it it was amazing

Thank you for standing up for science

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Aug 30, 2020 Sonnydee rated it did not like it

DNF

I thought this book sounded interesting, but Soh lost me when she started talking about neuroscience. She's not a neuroscientist, which is probably why she's so comfortable citing the naturalness of pink and blue brains. Even the most conservative neuroscientists admit that brains are plastic and shaped (literally) by social as well as biological factors. For all her claims to objectivity, Soh has a clear agenda. I recommend Inferior by Angela Saini for a more balanced overview of much of the ...more

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Sep 05, 2020 Kit rated it did not like it · review of another edition

I am so fucking sick of this transphobic trash - and others like it - appearing in my TL. This is not what it claims to be. It's not some neutral exploration but straight up transphobia. You only have to look at the blurb and reviews to see that.

STOP WITH THIS TOXIC HARMFUL NONSENSE. ...more

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Aug 21, 2020 James Leare rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Let's not abandon science.

This book allowed me to remember what I knew, to have faith in what I knew to be true, and to have the scientific evidence to back this up, before the dogmatic narrative of the so-called progressives began in earnest, somewhere in the years of the last decade.

Debra Soh, as a sexologist, utilises a scientific standpoint throughout, as befits her profession. There are some facets of what she speaks of that echoes what progressives would advocate, like "being born in the Let's not abandon science.

This book allowed me to remember what I knew, to have faith in what I knew to be true, and to have the scientific evidence to back this up, before the dogmatic narrative of the so-called progressives began in earnest, somewhere in the years of the last decade.

Debra Soh, as a sexologist, utilises a scientific standpoint throughout, as befits her profession. There are some facets of what she speaks of that echoes what progressives would advocate, like "being born in the wrong body" having a kernel of truth to it, in as much as one's brain's "wiring" and physicality being more similar to that of the opposite sex than one's birth sex. But she also goes on to debunk a number of commonly-cited myths regarding gender such as: "Gender is a social construct", "There are more than two genders", and "There are no differences between men and women". What a lot of progressives have forgotten or have been ignorant of is that there IS a biological component to gender; it dictates our behaviour, our preferences, and our personality in the real world, and for 99.9% of people it ties in very closely with their birth sex.

It's important to note that she remains compassionate throughout to those who would be gender non-conforming or "atypical" males or females. It should go without saying that compassion and listening to others' grievances is important, but not to the point where we start denying facts to satiate an angry mob.

Debra also talks about the danger of stifling important research in the name of being politically correct or "being on the side of social justice". All this does is appease those who would denounce you as a transphobic bigot otherwise, if you dare stray from the "facts" the progressives would have you believe.

Again, let's not forget or abandon science. It's vital to be objective in research, free of political leanings, particularly in the modern world where the dogma of the progressives would, ironically, stifle meaningful scientific progress for the sake of pushing a dogmatic narrative. ...more

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Aug 29, 2020 Shannon Meridian rated it it was ok

Shelves: non-fiction, audio, female-authors, scribd, gender

I was hoping this book would be good. I've seen some of Soh's previous work (articles & videos) and had some issues with it, but I thought I'd give this a try. However, it ended up being very similar to other work - quippy, whiny, sorta condescending, and contrarian (but not in a good way). She starts off with a premise I agree with - sex is biological, and then goes onto say that "gender" is too (!?). But she doesn't ever really give a good definition for "gender", although she talks briefly ab ...more

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Oct 14, 2020 KT rated it did not like it

Book framed through the author's classic liberal feminist views, some of which overlap with terf views, tackling nine "myths":

Myth 1. Biological sex is a spectrum left me confused as I struggled among the author's contradictions, one saving grace was the clear demarcation between sex and gender

Myth 2. "Feminist = woman, man terrified to question said woman" Terf-like views in stating if gender is thought to be learned, masculinity will remain the gold standard and women will be pressured to rid ...more

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Aug 13, 2020 Drew rated it it was amazing

Probably the best popular science book I've read since The Selfish Gene (which is my favorite book in that genre). A lot of non-fiction books tend to do three things that derail my enjoyment of them. This book avoids ALL of the following:

1. Underestimate the scientific literacy of the audience. In the place of raw information, authors create imperfect metaphors and end up confusing the overall message

2. Over-writing. This sort of relates to #1, in that the same point is expressed over several pa ...more

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Nov 06, 2020 Jessy Jones rated it did not like it

Asserts foolish, harmful, and generally untrue notions on gender and sexuality. Claims NB/queer individuals are motivated by an elevated social status and the pursuit of manipulation of others. Trash.

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Oct 09, 2020 Holly rated it liked it · review of another edition

My mind is torn apart by this one. I'm a huge (former?) fan of Cordelia Fine's Delusions of Gender and completely bought into her theory that it's sexist for anyone to claim that sex differences in the brain have a bearing on our personalities and behavior. Hook, line, and sinker. Now I'm questioning everything. Dr. Soh's science is either extremely fucking convincing, or completely made up. I'm going to err on the side of the former. I'm not going to reiterate the science, because I'm lazy and My mind is torn apart by this one. I'm a huge (former?) fan of Cordelia Fine's Delusions of Gender and completely bought into her theory that it's sexist for anyone to claim that sex differences in the brain have a bearing on our personalities and behavior. Hook, line, and sinker. Now I'm questioning everything. Dr. Soh's science is either extremely fucking convincing, or completely made up. I'm going to err on the side of the former. I'm not going to reiterate the science, because I'm lazy and not a genius and (ironically) get off on my feels and not my thinks (and if you are genuinely interested in this topic, it's on your to-read list), but she provides enough for me to believe that differences in brains strongly pertain to sex - males and females each generally have brain differences in common, presumably corresponding with testosterone exposure in the womb. I tried to fight with all my heart against the things she said. It's there and it doesn't feel good. But Dr. Soh's later statements had a really strong impact on me - why is it so bad for the sexes to have differences? Mainstream feminism has concerned itself with a homogenization of the sexes. "Anything you can do, I can do better!" Well, I mean, not really. Venus and Serena Williams were notoriously defeated by a 202nd-rated men's tennis player. So why do I feel so guilty for acknowledging this and pointing this out? At this point, I have no earthly idea.

She was very convincing in her theory that children do not possess the emotional maturity to identify as transgender. I've always, always been dubious about this. This is pure cowardice, but I don't like talking about this topic too much. Not only do some parents place pressure on their children to identify as "different" (I didn't believe in the "conversion therapy" line of thinking wrt trans children until I read this book), Dr. Soh remarks that "in the event that a child can grow to be comfortable in the body they were given, it shouldn't be controversial to contend that this would be a better outcome than a lifetime of hormones and possible surgery and sterility." She's right, and she's right to say it.

Still, I didn't like how Dr. Soh was so dismissive and borderline hostile to the idea (truth, in my opinion) that the sexes are socialized (male/female socialization). About the billion-dollar makeup industry: "This is not due to the patriarchy or capitalism trying to sell women things they don't need. These are tendencies that are, to some extent, hardwired in us." Er, OK. I'm not convinced that 15-step skincare routines are hardwired in us. The beauty industry is most certainly harried on by female socialization (ie, not only do we need to look pretty, we need to look prettier than the woman next to us). I rarely wear makeup, have always been blessed with clear skin, have always just washed my face and moisturized - still, I have been convinced that I need to add more steps to my "routine." That's female socialization at work; skincare is probably the most ubiquitous topic in beauty-based pop culture right now. I don't think I'm alone. But the maddening thing is that this line doesn't mesh with her earlier assertion that "contemporary feminism places pressure on women to eschew traditional femininity and basically let themselves go physically in order to reach enlightenment." (This isn't true, either - superficial "choice" feminism - think "the hardest thing about being a woman is deciding what to wear uwu" - is the mainstream!) Can anyone remember the last time a celebrity or public figure was criticized by a "contemporary feminist" for wearing makeup and a nice outfit? Anyone? I have no idea what she's talking about. If contemporary feminism were even remotely critical of the beauty industry, I'd spend a lot less time mad at everything. Point being, I can believe that many differences between the sexes are biological. I can also believe that many differences between the sexes are socialized, no trouble.

Dr. Soh's concluding chapters on dishonesty in academia, particulary in service to "wokeness," were extremely troubling. If I were ten years younger right now, I would be on the Go Woke Or Go Broke train. My beliefs often change with new information. I absolutely abhor the thought that scientific research is in any way inhibited by a mandate for non-scientific considerations. And this has happened before (the AIDS epidemic - research untouched for years for "moral" reasons). The idea that scientists cannot gather information on sex, gender, or transgenderism for fear that their findings will offend a nebulous class of people is extremist, anti-intellectual, and a shameless appeal to emotion. Dr. Soh is hardly the first academic I've heard this from. She gives ample evidence for one to conclude that this state of affairs is the current status quo. That signals to me that help for young people suffering from gender dysphoria may not be forthcoming. ...more

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Dec 28, 2020 Katie rated it did not like it

When you write a “scientific” book, which presumably you wish to be taken seriously, and proceed to use sources such as YouTube videos to “back up your claims”... it’s no wonder that half of each chapter was spent lamenting “cancel culture” and mentioning at length how many people dislike her; it was the only way to fill the pages and keep people who enjoy reading opinion pieces and then using them (horribly inaccurately, as the author did) as basis for their “scientific debate”, hooked.

It was a ...more

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Nov 19, 2020 Toni Kely-Brown rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: type-audio-books

Apparently, this is a controversial book, and I should be careful I do not get “cancelled” by reading it! I consider myself a “centrist” and “progressive”, but I have also been concerned about the increasingly zealousness of activists against science in recent times if it does not fit a particular political or social justice position. I found the author to compassionate and objective and even though she is pro-gay and trans rights, she has been targeted by gender and trans activists for her scie ...more

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Aug 10, 2020 chaymasira rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Great and honest book

Some people claim that Dr. Soh is a transphobic bigot, but reading this book suggests otherwise. I second her idea that science shouldn’t be hijacked by any activists. Let scientists do their work.

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Aug 23, 2020 Philip rated it really liked it

Recommends it for: Everyone

Shelves: non-fiction, social-commentary, contemporary, science-and-math, educational, medical, psychology, english

I was hesitant in picking this book up. I half (ok, 3/4) expected a politically charged and socially conservative propaganda piece dripping with misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia. I was wrong, very wrong.

Instead of the craziness I expected, I found myself agreeing with a good bit of Soh's arguments - not that I am, in any way, suggesting that I'm an authority on the subject matter. I also recognized a lot of my own frustrations in Soh's comments. I find it immensely frustrating that we/peopl I was hesitant in picking this book up. I half (ok, 3/4) expected a politically charged and socially conservative propaganda piece dripping with misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia. I was wrong, very wrong.

Instead of the craziness I expected, I found myself agreeing with a good bit of Soh's arguments - not that I am, in any way, suggesting that I'm an authority on the subject matter. I also recognized a lot of my own frustrations in Soh's comments. I find it immensely frustrating that we/people can't see when we commit the same sins that we lambaste others for committing. Furthermore, by suppressing conversation and opinion, we lay a foundation of fear, distrust, and hatred that, when allowed, festers and grows until any little spark may light a raging wildfire.

Considering this, Soh's book is both timely and important. In a world where we're all too often too quick on the proverbial trigger-finger, Soh raises some very interesting points, concerns, and facts regarding the world of gender that goes against the grain of what is socially and politically acceptable. Regardless of your ideas on the matter today, I urge you to read this book for another perspective than that which we hear of on a near-daily basis. Maybe you disagree entirely, maybe you swallow the book whole, or maybe, as I did, you find it compelling and insightful - albeit with a few holes at times - with many threads to explore further (and, to be frank, I cannot speak to the truth regarding some claims simply because I have not read enough on the subjects yet - but, partly thanks to this book, I will).

Regardless of where you land though, I hope you agree that one should never suppress science simply because one does not agree with it. Similarly, regarding opinions that deviate from the "norm," I find it difficult to see how alienating them to the point of exclusion from the realm of conversation and debate can do anything but foster a system of ever-expanding cracks that will, eventually, tear said system asunder. ...more

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Aug 12, 2020 Mark O'mara rated it really liked it

Thorough, illuminating , evidence based work on gender from sexologist academic turned journalist Dr Debra Soh. Soh, very much a liberal and supporter of sexual freedom and not confirming to gender stereotypes rips into the non existent use scientific evidence by gender activists and the harms it causes. Soh reiterates why there is only two genders and is scathing on attacks on science by gender activists. A worthy book for this age of confusion and relativism.

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Aug 11, 2020 Jazeps rated it it was amazing

Much needed book in these crazy times. Learned a lot of new things about the edge cases that nature presents.

Recommended reading for parents if you don't want to ruin the lives of your children or let others do it.

Unexpectedly interesting chapter on dating confirmed to me how most of the dating apps are getting the mechanics wrong by requiring a female match before a male can invest their time in writing something. Thus females are inundated by approaches by males who are just using the opportun ...more

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Aug 09, 2020 James Kenney rated it it was amazing

Like finding cool water after days in the smoldering desert without, this book goes through the science in one of the most fraught and polarizing topics of the day. Loved every page.

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“It’s truly a shame that, as a scientific discipline, evolutionary psychology isn’t mandatory reading as part of university curriculum. It would undoubtedly help men and women navigate not just dating and sex, but understanding their own attitudes and behavior, but understanding their own attitudes and behavior, to have more fulfilling sex, and win the ultimate prize of falling in love.” — 4 likes

“It isn’t sexist to acknowledge sex differences. What’s sexist is assuming that women must be the same as men in order to be treated as equals.” — 3 likes

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