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When Someone You Love is Kinky

4.03  ·  Rating details ·  155 ratings  ·  11 reviews
About one out of ten Americans is 'kinky': they may enjoy bondage, dressing in special clothes that turn them on, spanking, erotic role-playing, body modification, or any one of a number of other activities that are outside the sexual mainstream.

And each one of them is surrounded by a constellation of friends, lovers, parents, children and co-workers who may feel frighten
Paperback, First Edition, 160 pages
Published February 25th 2015 by Greenery Press (first published August 20th 2000)
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 ·  155 ratings  ·  11 reviews

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Feles Aerius
Jan 18, 2010 rated it liked it
It's mostly just a series of letters and not too much information about accepting someone who is kinky into your life. I knew most of this already, The Ethical Slut by same author is something you will learn much more from, this is more of perhaps an addendum to The Ethical Slut ...more
Steve Cotterill
Apr 19, 2016 rated it really liked it
An approachable book, When Someone You Love is Kinky is a basic primer to alternative sexuality (specifically kink) by Dossie Easton and Catherine A Liszt and serves not to introduce the people involved in this sort of erotic experience but their friends and families. As such it is very gentle, easing the reader into the subject matter, taking the time to debunk myths and to offer reassurance that engaging in kink activities is not a one way ticket to the morgue. Beginning with a basic introduct ...more
Oct 07, 2015 rated it it was ok
Interesting focus on the idea of what constitutes "sex." Briefly touches upon the idea that kink can be related to sex or not, but goes on to equate intimacy with sex and concludes that because kink requires intimacy then it is defined by them as a sex act. Large focus on physical aspects of BDSM without much discussion of mental effects. It does talk about how kink can be a healing force, but doesn't spend enough time explaining how. There's not really a discussion about aftercare. Some people ...more
Rachel Jackson
Aug 20, 2018 rated it it was ok
I'm always interested in sexuality, and when I saw this book recommended online, I was intrigued if only for the candid talk about alternate forms of sexuality. I'd heard of authors Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt before as well-respected sex researchers and was interested in what they had to say that goes beyond of what's considered the norm in our already taboo-filled society. But I was hoping for a little more substance from When Someone You Love Is Kinky rather than a general glossary o ...more
Sep 06, 2015 rated it it was ok
I wonder how this was supposed to be helpful? On the other hand, I have no problem with kinks. I mostly read this because I have a friend who has a friend who is into BDSM stuff and she has hard time coping with it. I thought I might be able to offer her something helpful after reading this book. But nothing :/ At least this was a quick read.
Ironman Ninetytwo
Sep 12, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: sexuality
Nothing wrong with it - very sensitively written, but not helpful for me. It's more/mostly for the less-open family members of people who have a greater need to display their kink - I guess? Really I have nothing to complain about. ...more
Jun 20, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I borrowed this book for the chapter written to healthcare professionals and was pleased with the detail, useful suggestions and non-judgmental style, even for providers! Shared with my staff. Thank you!
Sep 13, 2010 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: bdsm-non-fic
A must own/read for people looking for the words to explain what can be confusing desires to loved ones. I just wish it was longer.
Jan 02, 2017 rated it really liked it
Great for newbies or the curious.
Teela Hudak
Feb 14, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book is an excellent beginner/outsider look at the basic BDSM/kink culture and practices. The authors went above and beyond in their attempts to explain kinky desires in a non-threatening way from different angles. This book also includes several letters the authors collected from the community that are "coming out" letters. This technique helps bring attention to the fear of rejection many kinksters feel about disclosing to their loved ones about their preferences. The writing is accessibl ...more
Gushkin Banda
Feb 13, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Very gentle and thoughtful introduction to kink for non-kinky people.

Includes a section for professionals.
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“For us, when our sexual lifestyle is essential to our sense of identity, anybody who doesn't know about our kink doesn't really know us.” 1 likes
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