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Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?

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4.33  ·  Rating details ·  52 ratings  ·  39 reviews
It’s normal for your washing machine to get more action than you, right?

I wake up, bleary-eyed.

It’s been two years, six months and three hours since I last shaved my legs, and the llama-patterned knickers I’m wearing have seen better days.

We have seven minutes before the kids wake up, and my husband shuffles closer. ‘Ouch,’ he says, a piece of Lego sticking into his
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Kindle Edition, 363 pages
Published February 14th 2020 by Bookouture
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Average rating 4.33  · 
Rating details
 ·  52 ratings  ·  39 reviews


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DJ Sakata
Favorite Quotes:

Nothing is more sobering than looking at yourself in your underwear under a fluorescent bathroom glow. My stomach looks like a collapsed cake. My thighs look like rolled pork joints. I poke at them to see if I can carve out a thigh gap… I look down. Jesus, where are my boobs and stomach going? It’s like they’re trying to flee from me in different directions – gravity is not my friend.

I have a Morton brother either side of me: my brother-in-law to my left, to my right my husband,
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Shalini
Feb 04, 2020 rated it really liked it
Woah!! This was one humorous book which kept me laughing at the antics of a married couple with kids. From snogging and shagging in their 20s, it was fun to read about their jiggling and sagging body parts and life post marriage and children.

My first book by author Kristen Bailey, I never would have guessed what came in their mail. And that started the rigmarole of humorous capers and dialogues that were scattered liberally in the book. Their adulting had me in splits. I loved Meg, her moments
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Robyn
Feb 17, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: uno-challenge
Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life by Kristen Bailey is a hilarious romp on modern family life with all ups and downs weaved between all of the hilarious moments between Meg and Danny as they navigate their way through marriage, kids and a new found secret passion that will have you laughing out loud as you flip through the pages.

I always know when I am reading a great book when not even ten pages in and I am laughing my ass off. I do have to say, I don’t read enough comedy in books and Kristen Bailey
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Books Just 4 Me
Meg and Danny are married and have three kids. A surprise package in the mail brings lots of questions and some concerns into their pretty routine life.

This takes place in North of England so there were a lot of British phrases I had get familiar with quick. It is a realistic comedy of married life. The couple clearly had a deep love that translated into a deep friendship as well. I enjoyed how Meg could say how much she loved her husband but then lists all the irritating things he does. It was
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Kelly Long
Feb 05, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fiction, arcs, netgalley
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This book actually had me laughing out loud for most of the time I spent reading it. I'm not from the UK but I enjoy their humor and word usage. I was a bit worried this would be too trashy but it really wasn't. It's well written and a light read without being overly raunchy.
Agi
Feb 06, 2020 added it
Shelves: couldn-t-finish
So. I've tried. I've tried really hard and every 10% I kept saying, try another 10% but I had to stop at 60 - you can't say I didn't give this book a chance. But I can't, I simply can't, I was all the time wondering What. Is. This. Book. About and where is it actually funny? I loved the title, and the synopsis was SO promising, but I've got nothing from this what was promised. I think Bookouture should stop advertising every single book they publish with "utterly hilarious".
Yesha- Books Teacup and Reviews
You can read all my review on Blog - Books Teacup and Reviews

*4.5 Stars*

Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life was quirky Women’s fiction that revolved around Meg and Danny’s married sex life and lot of sex related things but definitely not erotica or a pure romance. It was about uncertainty and questions related to sex life after marriage and kids, rekindling sex life, professional unhappiness, and honest portrayal of sex and how it’s different for everybody.

Now I’m really scratching my head how I should
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Javier
Jan 25, 2020 rated it really liked it
Two of my biggest pet peeves when reading a book are that on the blurb it says that there's an incredible twist you won't see coming and you see it coming from a mile away, and that it's a laugh-out loud comedy and then you don't even crack a smile. Well, "Has anyone seen my sex life?" made me laugh out loud not once but several times, and while it's not a mystery, it has a bigger twist than several thrillers I've read. I don't think anyone could have guessed what was inside that parcel that was ...more
Bespectacled Petal
Jan 25, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I received a free advance readers’ copy in exchange for my honest review. Thank you NetGalley & Bookouture!

Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?was hilarious. It details the lives of Meg Morton and her husband Daniel. Their relationship in the beginning was full of fire. However, they have now reached the stage of their married life where they are comfortable. They have three daughters and their lives are mundane. Until, one day Meg finds an object she did not expect to in a package mailed to their
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Gaele
Meg and Danny have been together ten years, with three little girls under 7, a dog named Mr. T, a postman named Pat (truly) and a rather ‘bleh’ sex life. Between kids, work, the daily sameness and more than a bit of “comfortableness’ with one another – things have hit a rut. Until the postman delivers a large package containing a sparkly, blue, very large dildo, and the reporter in Meg goes investigating.

Starting off a bit slow where the “southern girl” Meg meets Danny and his brother, and the
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Caroline Kerdouci
Feb 14, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Utterly utterly brilliant! Without a doubt THE funniest novel I have read in a long time. ‘Has anyone seen my sex life’ is hilarious, the writing razor sharp with so many laugh out loud moments I couldn’t keep count of.
Sometimes you pick up a book not knowing quite what to expect but I can honestly say this novel far exceeded my expectations. The prologue I thought was brilliantly written, setting the stage for the many funny, sweet, sometimes bizarre and often saucy scenarios that follow. The
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Janice
Feb 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing
How can you not fall just a little bit in love with a man who fondly nicknames his daughters ‘Buttons’ and ‘Dimples’? That’s how I feel about Danny Morton! He is adorable!

He also happens to love his wife Meg – in that manly way that Northerners have. They don’t exactly tell you, but they do try and show you as much as you’ll allow them to, and when time permits, between 3 young children, work, family, exhaustion etc. etc. But Meg isn’t a Northerner. She’s a Southerner and even though she’s lived
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Rachel Gilbey
Jan 27, 2020 rated it really liked it
Original, funny and full of incredibly realistic characters.

Oh and the big secret, which is triggered by well not your regular contents of a parcel when you are a married couple with three children, which catapults Meg into wondering just what her husband is up to.

Well she jumps to the most logical conclusion and I'm delighted to say she was incredibly wrong and the truth of it, and what is at the heart of a large part of this book is fabulous.

But because I don't want to reveal just what it
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Janet
Jan 27, 2020 rated it really liked it
When it is snowy and cold outside (and my car is buried under 2ft of ), superspeed readers like me can read 250+ pages/hour, so yes, I have read the book … and many more today. LOL

I requested and received a temporary digital Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGalley, the publisher and the author in exchange for an honest review.

From the publisher, as I do not repeat the contents or story of books in reviews, I let them do it as they do it better than I do .

It’s normal for your washing
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Linda
Feb 13, 2020 rated it it was amazing
A surprise delivery changes the context of their everyday lives: warm and witty

4.5stars
I loved the down-home, realistic picture of family life in this Kristen Bailey work. Meg, the Londoner come to the North heroine, is a good mom to her three girls but worries that the years of married domesticity have dulled the shine on her relationship with Northerner Dan. A surprise postal delivery suddenly provokes a re-examination of the quality and direction of her marriage.

Bailey does a great job
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Jennifer Newell
Jan 16, 2020 rated it liked it
When I selected this book I was looking for a laugh out loud kind of book. While there were moments in this story that were funny it was not the laugh out loud kind of laughter. I found this book at times to be funny because of been there before having had 3 children myself.
This story is about a couple who have 3 children and the reality that your sex life can at times take a back seat to taking care of the family. Meg is doing her best to balance family and a job. She believes her and Danny’s
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Grace J Reviewerlady
Feb 14, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I've read books which have made me laugh before - but this time I couldn't stop!

Meg and Danny are happily married with three daughters, one a baby. So, yes, their sex life has taken a hit - that's normal, right? So Meg isn't overly worried, until she opens the box delivered to their addressed to her husband and delivered to their home . . .

I have giggled hysterically at this book; it's so very, very funny! Kristen Bailey has a fabulous style of writing which just pulls you in and entertains you
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Shawna
Jan 28, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: netgalley, 2020-reads
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Catherine
Jan 29, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I so want this book to be the best seller of 2020. I have never laughed aloud so much when reading.
This book is about sex but not an erotic book or with gratuitous scenes. But married sex. Loving sex.
Meg and Danny got together in London. Their meeting ended with sex on the stairs interrupted by Stu. Danny’s brother. We then meet them three kids down the line and living in the Lake District. Sex comes after the washing cooking cleaning kids and then usually forgotten about because your just to
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Mimi
Jan 25, 2020 rated it liked it
Meg Morton is your typical mom. Fall asleep in yesterday’s mascara dead tired. Wake up and not bother shoving her post-breastfeeding boobs into something cute. Carry on with the kids morning school run looking like a raccoon in head lights. No part of this includes sex. At least none she has time to enjoy. And that’s okay. That’s just part of being married with kids, right?
Then the parcel arrives and everything changes. Meg’s life is about to change in a BIG way.

Star rating:

You know the
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Pauline
Jan 15, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Full of humour, will definitely make you laugh (would be surprised if it didn't)

This book is about the 'Now', all new Morton's, Meg, Danny, and three young girls, and their families. It starts with a brief on how they first got together, then into family life. The Morton's run a paper mill, Meg works as a journalist, whilst caring for her young family.

What first appears to be the same old routine of family life, then receipt of a parcel which raises questions/concerns with Meg, about Danny and
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Amanda
Feb 08, 2020 rated it really liked it
3.5 stars. Very funny but also relatable story of Meg and Danny and how life has changed 10 years into their marriage and dealing with three kids (one of whom is a baby), a dog, two jobs, and living in a small town in northern England where everyone is in everyone else's business. The story is told from Meg's point of view, and lots of her thoughts and the funny situations they found themselves in reminded me of Bridget Jones. The thing referenced in the book description that shows up causes Meg ...more
Els
Feb 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing
There are funny books that make me smile and there are hilarious books that make me laugh out loud. For me this one definitely belongs in the latter category.

It goes without a doubt that homour is subjective. What makes one laugh, leaves the other wondering why it’s funny. I think if I would write a book, humour is the most difficult to get across to an audiance. I guess everybody already had the feeling once or twice of telling a joke and nobody laughing … Painful, right?

This story is filled
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Vikkie
Jan 08, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This book is absolutely hilarious!!

Seriously, I haven’t been able to put this one down! Initially attracted by the cover and title, this is a book which really hasn’t disappointed.

This is perfect for lovers of the unmumsy mum- I personally think that this one is funnier than that. I have not stopped laughing while reading this book.

This is definitely one of those books which is perfect after a stressful day because you are guaranteed to laugh out loud.

I love the authors writing style, this
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Emma Star Crossed Reviews
This review was originally posted on Star Crossed Reviews I received this book for free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.Thank you to Bookouture for my copy of this book via Netgalley and for letting me take part in this tour. This is the first book I have read by Kirsten. I really liked the blurb and I love to try new authors so I was excited to jump in.

I am going to start off by saying this was one of the
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Susanne
Jan 24, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: netgalley, 2020
Thank you to Bookouture and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I'm not a mum, and I like to think that even if I were, I would be an un-mumsy type of mum. Kind of like the main character of this book - busy getting on with life, loving, nurturing, self-deprecating and funny. This is an enjoyable and at times very funny read, with some deeper currents running through it. I loved the way the author brought the characters to life, and the meandering story back to the basics of a
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Sally Tyrer
Jan 10, 2020 rated it it was amazing
A real light hearted humorous laugh out loud read! This book will keep you entertained from start to finish, very down to earth relatable humour that parents everywhere will be able to relate too!
Meg and Danny Morton are married parents to three little girls and their sexlife has taken a backseat to work, children,chores etc etc! Enter captain mintcake and the reader is taken on an unforgettable journey as they rediscover their sexlife with several embarrassing incidents along the way! Great
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Between The Pages Book Club (Gemma M)
This is hilarious. It will have you laughing out loud from beginning to end! Brilliant. It’s a mood boosting book for sure. You can’t help but smile as you read along… I am 100% sure every mother can at least relate to one part of this story. The way it is written makes you feel like you personally know this family and are friends.
The only downside was long chapters as I prefer short chapters but I raced through this so it didn’t matter much. It is brilliantly written. Loved the setting and
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Claire Watson
Feb 01, 2020 rated it really liked it
I loved this latest offering from Kristen Bailey. It’s funny, it makes you cringe and laugh out loud and in all honesty it’s a joy to read.

It captures family life perfectly - parents who need to make more time for each other but with three kids that’s not always easy. Add in pets named after 80s tv characters, a wayward brother returning from his travels and a few secrets along the way and you’re in for a very enjoyable read.

Thank you to NetGalley, Bookouture and the author for the chance to
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Miriam
Feb 15, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
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