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The Dark Matter of Mona Starr

Laura Lee Gulledge (Goodreads Author)

3.97 · Rating details · 648 ratings · 146 reviews

A bold and original YA graphic novel about battling your inner doubts and fears—and finding your genius

Sometimes, the world is too much for Mona Starr. She’s sweet, geeky, and creative, but it’s hard for her to make friends and connect with other people. She’s like a lot of sensitive teenagers—but in the hands of graphic novelist Laura Lee Gulledge, Mona’s struggle with ...more

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Hardcover, 192 pages

Published April 7th 2020 by Amulet Books

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Jun 19, 2020 Rod Brown rated it it was ok

A well-intentioned book about a teenager dealing with depression and anxiety that just fell flat for me. It's good to share these types of stories with young readers and the author includes a lot of good information and strategies for self-care. Unfortunately, it suffers in comparison to the more engaging Guts by Raina Telgemeier which I read recently and covers much of the same ground.

Also, there were several negative aspects that threw me out of the story. First, there is some queerbaiting. Se ...more

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Sep 22, 2020 Dave Schaafsma rated it really liked it

Shelves: gn-psych, gn-ya, gn-middle-grades, gn-health

A timely self-help-oriented novel about depression for middle grades/YA. When Mona's friend oves away, Mona spirals into some emotional struggles that have physical manifestations. She's depressed and this has lots of different aspects; Mona calls it her "dark matter." Gulledge takes us through Mona's process to health, in part thorugh "artners" or art partners. She can't isolate too much, and since she is an artist she needs to express herself and create connections with others.

The story not on ...more

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Aug 15, 2020 Kathryn rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Recommends it for: No one

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This review contains spoilers. CW for discussion of suicide.

If I could give The Dark Matter of Mona Starr zero stars, I would. I was enjoying the book and the way that the art represented depression, and was ready to give it five stars, until I got to the point where Mona has to have emergency surgery for an intestinal blockage caused by a tumor in her intestines, and she concludes that it's the physical manifestation that the dark matter of her depression condensed in physical form to cause a t This review contains spoilers. CW for discussion of suicide.

If I could give The Dark Matter of Mona Starr zero stars, I would. I was enjoying the book and the way that the art represented depression, and was ready to give it five stars, until I got to the point where Mona has to have emergency surgery for an intestinal blockage caused by a tumor in her intestines, and she concludes that it's the physical manifestation that the dark matter of her depression condensed in physical form to cause a tumor that almost killed her, and that it's a sign she needs to do better job of caring for herself. A conclusion that both her parents and her therapist agree with. This, even though the book already established that Mona was blown off by three medical professionals who all told her that her pain was in her head and that there was nothing wrong with her. How the author goes from establishing that Mona could have died because her efforts to seek medical attention were blown off by medical professionals who ignored a teen girl's pain, to concluding that she needs to take better care of herself--even though in the text of the book itself, she attempted to do so--is incredibly victim blaming. Not only that, in the space of a page and a half, she goes from being relieved that it wasn't all in her head, to concluding that it's her depression that caused the tumor and it's her fault for not taking care of herself better, which is another way of saying that it's all in her head, just with extra steps.

This isn't written as a metaphor for her depression, as if her depression is forming a metaphorical mass inside her, just like a tumor formed within her, no, it claims that her depression coalesced into a literal physical tumor. Something that her parents and therapist agree with. It would be one thing if the people in Mona's life told her that no, that's her depression talking, telling her to blame herself for her life-threatening medical emergency, but no, the author establishes that Mona's interpretation is correct, and that it's logical that because she's such a creative person, her body must be too.

It would be one thing if this was in a book written for adults--it's still wrong, but at least adults have life experience to recognize the errors. Instead, this is a book written for vulnerable, depressed teenagers, telling them that their depression can cause life-threatening medical emergencies, and that if it does, it's their fault for not doing self-care well enough. It's an incredibly irresponsible message to be sending to teenagers, and I don't know how no one during the editing process was given pause when they came to those pages. This book should have been given to child psychologists to do sensitivity reads, because there's no universe where it's a good idea to tell depressed and potentially hypochondriac teenagers that their depression can cause medical emergencies if they don't take good enough care of themselves by taking supplements and doing self-care.

This gets me to my next point. Nowhere in the book, either in the text itself, or within the end note worksheets about self-care for depression, does it suggest that talking to your doctor about whether medication is right for you is a good idea. No, rather, we're given a snippet of a conversation between Mona's parents, where her father is worried about her but her mother responds that Mona and her therapist have decided she should just take supplements for now. Telling teenagers that they can treat their depression through supplements and self-care, while downplaying medication stigmatizes medication to teenagers. Not everyone needs to be taking medication, but stigmatizing it by suggesting vitamin supplements are a viable alternative to treating clinical depression is irresponsible, and again, another reason why this book needed to have child psychologists as sensitivity readers.

It gets worse though. Throughout the book, there's an undercurrent of concern from Mona's father, who worries for Mona because she reminds him so much of his cousin Beth, who died from suicide--something Mona doesn't know for much of the book while she overhears her father referencing Beth while talking to her mother. While Mona is in the hospital recovering from surgery for the intestinal blockage--which her parents are aware she thinks her depression caused, mind you--they tell her how she reminds them so much of Beth, tell her the circumstances of her death, and then give Mona some of Beth's poetry to read. Mona then freaks out because Beth's poetry reminds her so much of her own, and starts worrying that her depression will kill her like Beth's did, but her parents reassure her that she'll be totally different because she has them to support her. Again, no discussion of medication as a potential option, no nothing, just the reassurance that because she has her parents, that makes all the difference. It's like the author and editors didn't even stop and consider that the message the book is sending here is that if a loved one dies by suicide, it's the fault of their friends and family for not being there enough for them to give them support. No mention of the fact that suicidal depression is an actual disease with treatment options, no, it's all put on the family and friends to support the depressed person. And again, this is in a book that's written for teens, and that's being touted in glowing reviews as a wonderful look at depression.

If that's not enough, it gets even worse. Mona's parents tell her that Beth viewed her depression as her genius, the thing that inspired her to create art, and suggest that Mona look at it the same way. This is the exact same logic that Kanye West uses to stop taking his medication when he's working on an album, logic that was widely condemned as dangerous and ableist when Kanye said it, but when a YA author says the same thing in a book targeting teens, it gets glowing reviews and awards nominations. Untreated mental illness is not the source of genius, it's something that gets in the way of functioning and creating art. Telling teenagers that their depression is the source of their creative genius is so stunningly irresponsible that I can't believe this book actually made it though the editing process with that message intact.

What makes the messages of this book so insidious and dangerous is that the art is genuinely wonderful, and it's a great use of grayscale to make it feel like it's being drawn in Mona's diary, and the story itself sucks you in and is incredibly engaging. And then, boom, we get the emergency surgery subplot and Mona concluding that her depression solidified within herself as a tumor, and it all goes downhill from there. This could have been a great book and an excellent resource to teens struggling with depression, or who have dealt with doctors not believing them and blowing off their physical illness or pain as being in their head, but instead it turned into an irresponsible, victim blamey narrative that could leave a vulnerable, depressed reader even more vulnerable than before. If you're considering this book because you're struggling with depression, or as a gift for a someone in your life that's dealing with depression, this is not the book for you. ...more

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May 31, 2020 Kelly added it

Shelves: ya-fiction, comics-graphic-novels-and-memoirs, read-in-2020

When Mona's best friend moves to Hawaii, her depression and social anxiety hit hyperdrive. She feels alone and insecure, and her mental illnesses -- dubbed her Dark Matter -- are crushing her. She internalizes the shame and fear, worrying deeply when she befriends a new girl at her school. Will that friend be able to handle all of her?

Gulledge's comic is beautiful and heart-wrenching and will resonate with artsy kids struggling with their mental health especially. The metaphor of dark matter wor ...more

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Nov 29, 2020 Ms. B rated it liked it

Shelves: school-stories, ya, graphic-novel-comic, mental-illness, 2020

Graphic novel about a teen with depression and anxiety. This is a hopeful story that gives readers who may have similar diagnoses some ideas for self-care. This book's content can be heavy at times (nothing graphic). Honestly, I am not sure young readers with depression anxiety would appreciate this or not.
Along with those who know someone or have a loved one with depression and/or anxiety, those who work with teens will want to give this a read. Readers will grow in compassion for their loved o ...more

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Jun 25, 2020 Tammy rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: graphic-novels, young-adult

Beautiful illustrations! I felt like it did a good job of showing how some people experience mental illness, depression and anxiety in particular. I liked Mona, the main character, and thought she was relatable.

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Dec 13, 2019 Alyssa rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I received an ARC from the publisher at the NCTE conference. Thank you!

3.5 stars

This graphic novel was very interesting -- a bit like a counseling session in a book. I could see it being a valuable resource for teens struggling with depression (especially arty teens). I really loved the way Mona uses galaxy knowledge to explore her own "matter." It felt like an interesting use of language and a different way to explore the topic. The last third of the story I found to be a bit too tidy, even a b ...more

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Sep 06, 2020 Danielle rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: graphic-novels, contemporary, mental-illness

It's so frustrating to heavily relate to someone's experience, but dislike them/their story so much.

Just like a lot of people, I've struggled with my mental health and high school definitely wasn't conducive to improving that. Here, I really hated how Mona treated everyone around her: she was awful and even though her actions were explained by her mental health, it doesn't excuse them. I have felt the way she has but she was such an unlikeable character for the majority of the book. There are al ...more

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Feb 07, 2021 Sarah B rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2021-popsugar-challenge

This is a wonderful book to read for anyone who deals with anxiety and self doubt or depression. It's like an illustrated guide to help show you how you can deal with it.

The main character, Mona, feels like an outcast and believes she is worthless. Not only are her thoughts dark but she has physical pain as well...yet doctors keep telling her that she's healthy. Put her pain won't go away. Situations at school make her anxiety worse and she starts avoiding people, chewing on her nails...

This gr This is a wonderful book to read for anyone who deals with anxiety and self doubt or depression. It's like an illustrated guide to help show you how you can deal with it.

The main character, Mona, feels like an outcast and believes she is worthless. Not only are her thoughts dark but she has physical pain as well...yet doctors keep telling her that she's healthy. Put her pain won't go away. Situations at school make her anxiety worse and she starts avoiding people, chewing on her nails...

This graphic novel points out some of the things one can do to help with these issues. I like that the book includes real things that anyone can do, like first finding out what makes you feel better or things you can do to help deal with the anxiety: writing, drawing, coloring, spending time with animals, going for walks, etc. It also mentioned a support system... people who you can trust and talk to. There's also the bit about trying to understand the feelings you are feeling... These are all things that actually work. Different people like to do different things to help deal with anxiety and the bad feelings. Do what works for you.

Mona points out that there's nothing really wrong with you if you are different. This is a big one! It's self love and self acceptance. Try taking the attitude of "so what if I'm a nerd? I like being a nerd!" (And in reality I actually have a t-shirt that very proudly says NERD on it too! And yes, it's one of my favorite t-shirts! And I suppose if you're really nerdy you might know what NERD stands for too...) And I love that they included this idea in the book as it's very important. Not everyone is the same or has the same interests. You should feel free to be yourself and hopefully find people like yourself. Not everyone is a social butterfly.

The story through words and wonderful drawings explain the dark feelings people get. Being excluded. Feeling alone. Wanting to hide. To disappear. Being worthless. A nobody. Hopeless. A bunch of others...it's all in here. Then you'll realize that others feel that way too. And that through therapy you can get better. It takes time. You're not broken.

And the art in here is wonderful. I love it! The characters are well drawn and show lots of different emotions. Different ideas are shown different ways too. In fact the art makes this book a real pleasure to read. I don't read graphic novels very often but I just had to pick up this one. ...more

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Sep 12, 2020 Jessica Haider rated it really liked it

Shelves: fiction, graphic-novels, young-adult

A graphic novel about a high school girl who starts being swallowed by the "dark matter" of her depression after her best friend moves to Hawaii. Mona is sad when Nash moves away and feels alone at school. She feels surrounded by her dark matter telling her that she isn't good enough and that no one likes her. Slowly, she starts making connections with other students and learning to push away her dark matter.

This was a heartfelt novel that definitely attempts to offer some guidance on working t ...more

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May 17, 2020 Leigh Collazo rated it really liked it

Gorgeous illustrations and a great introduction to depression for teens. Full review to come.

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Aug 28, 2020 Lake Villa District Library added it

Recommended to Lake Villa District Library by: Wendy

Shelves: contemporary, mental-health, young-adult, graphic-novels

Find this book in our catalog! ...more

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Jun 13, 2020 Erica rated it really liked it

a great introduction to depression and social anxiety and how to deal with it, for teens. I wish I had this book when I was younger. Can feel a little textbooky or preachy at times but still a great resource. Bonus points for Better Off Dead reference.

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Oct 07, 2020 Dana rated it liked it

Shelves: 2020, graphic-novels, library

This one hit home for me. I struggle with my depression a lot but I don't think of it in a physical way as Mona does. But I resonated with her feelings a lot. I do wish they discussed medication as a form of treatment more than they did. Supplements are mentioned but didn't seem to help and while we see Mona take some sort of pills towards the end, it's skimmed over.

Overall, a beautiful graphic novel that really tackles depression head-on with some helpful ways of coping, but there's nothing wro ...more

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Mar 07, 2020 B2652 rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: high-school, high-low

A graphic novel with a powerful message that will resonate with teens or anyone impacted by depression/anxiety. Great recommendation for readers who like this format and the genre realistic fiction.

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Aug 04, 2020 orangerful rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: graphic-novel-teen, realistic_fiction, graphic-novels-adult, art, mental_health

Laura Lee Gulledge just keeps growing as an author. I've been a fan of hers since Page by Paige. 'Mona Starr' clearly draws from her own personal struggles with depression and self-doubt and how she used art to work through it all. ...more

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Feb 26, 2020 Jaclyn Brett Lewis rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This remarkably genuine graphic novel follows a shy, sensitive, introverted girl dealing with her “Matter” after her best friend moves away. The story meaningfully addresses art, community, and mental health and the simple-yet-difficult act of making it through every day and shows the many facets of her personality and mental state, neither condemning nor romanticizing her struggle. The visuals are even more stunning, managing to somehow be deeply symbolic but also grounded, expressing things li ...more

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Nov 12, 2020 Julia Arruda rated it it was ok

The intention of this book is good, as a teenager battling with depression and anxiety can be very pedagogic.

However, when she stars to feel pains, as someone who also struggles with depression and anxiety I can safely say that not ALL my pains are “real” and “medical” pains, and this GN gives a very simples explanation for hypochondriacs who for sure believe their pains are as real as Mona.

And although is very nice to read about overcoming depression (not all of us can without medication) and ...more

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Nov 06, 2020 Michigan City Public Library rated it it was amazing

Shelves: cmyk-mcpl, ya-graphic-novel

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. The Dark Matter of Mona Starr by Laura Lee Gulledge was a surprising read for me. Lots of books tackle depression, anxiety, negative self-talk, etc. Few do it in a comprehensive and loving story arc that progresses with actual useful information for those readers’ suffering from similar circumstances. I was quite impressed with the coping mechanisms the main character Mona develops throughout the book.

She is just a middle school kid that has an inner voice that manifests as her ‘dark matter’. S The Dark Matter of Mona Starr by Laura Lee Gulledge was a surprising read for me. Lots of books tackle depression, anxiety, negative self-talk, etc. Few do it in a comprehensive and loving story arc that progresses with actual useful information for those readers’ suffering from similar circumstances. I was quite impressed with the coping mechanisms the main character Mona develops throughout the book.

She is just a middle school kid that has an inner voice that manifests as her ‘dark matter’. She comes from an intelligent family with her mother working as an astrophysicist and her brother a chemical engineer. She looks at the world slightly differently than the average teen because of this. Her therapist suggests she study herself and so she starts to chronicle her triggers which I think is a great first step in self-help. Later she begins meditation to center herself and expels the negativity within. She writes positive words of inspiration on her arm as a reminder that she is worthwhile and is consistent in fighting back against her inner darkness.

Personally, I think this book speaks to readers of all ages. Anyone who has ever been their own worst critic can take a lesson from Mona’s journey. As she starts to live this new ‘best life’ of hers she starts to open up to new friendships and it is soon obvious that she is extremely creative. She puts a modern twist on an outdated Valentine’s practice, she creates a community social art project in her cafeteria, all the while realizing more and more about her inner self. I loved the art in this book, the use of color and contrast was fantastic. She wears her dark feelings like a cloak enveloping her at times, or gets physically ill puking what looks like oil. To contrast the dark with light when she’s had an inspiration or recognizes something positive in her life gold stardust is shown to highlight whatever good thing has transpired. This book is about life. It’s about coping with the ups and downs of childhood, but the lessons learned can be taken to heart by everyone.
...more

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Oct 04, 2020 Sandy rated it liked it

Shelves: disability, comics-graphic-novels, non-male-author

A story about a teenager struggling with depression and negative thoughts. She takes on a project of observing and documenting her "dark matter".

I loved the art in this: compassionate faces, beautiful star scapes. Mostly black and white with dashes of gold.

I thought this was going in a gay direction, but then it didn't; Mona being struck by cupid's arrow was apparently an "art crush". There is also some ableism in that Mona thinks her benign tumor is a manifestation of her depression, and no on ...more

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Jan 29, 2021 Dakota Morgan rated it liked it

The Dark Matter of Mona Starr feels like an important book for its pre-teen audience. Mona is distressed by her deep, uncontrollable feelings, a "matter" that seems to control her life. The book is her story of overcoming this "matter," coming to terms with it and minimizing it's impact.

So, it's essentially a clinical depression primer for a younger audience. Great! But Dark Matter doesn't stray very far outside that boundary. It's a handsome product, with comic-y, sometimes complex art. It look ...more

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Apr 30, 2020 Amy Pickett rated it really liked it

Shelves: read-in-2020

The Dark Matter of Mona Starr lived up to the very high expectations I had based on Laura Lee Gulledge's fantastic previous graphic novels! It was even one of my Pickett's Picks for Spring 2020 (https://ridleyhighlibrary.wordpress.c...). This is an intimate, moving depiction of Mona's journey to manage her depression (her "Matter"), embrace being the unique person that she is, and accept the loving support of people who care most about her. Some of the artwork is so stunning that I found myself ...more

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Sep 21, 2020 Kathleen rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I found this to be a thoughtful and hopefully helpful book on teenage depression! The things Mona faces and fears are things everyone has to learn to deal with in their own way. There are suggestions on finding what works for you! This book would pair well with the graphic novel "Guts." ...more

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Feb 18, 2021 Nicole Darrow rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2021, graphic-novels, ya

Loved this. Beautiful illustrations capture complex emotions. Great for teens struggling with mental health - I think Mona’s therapist’s suggestions and her processes for dealing with emotions are perfect suggestions. Also emphasizes support systems and reaching out.

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Apr 28, 2020 Jessica Marsh rated it really liked it

Shelves: young-adult, 2020-books

Did I cry in the hour it took me to read this? Yes. Yes, it did.

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May 23, 2020 Samantha Kelley rated it really liked it

This graphic novel was an excellent representation of depression. The way that the author compares Mona’s depression as “her matter” was deep.

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Dec 22, 2020 Laura Gardner rated it really liked it

I know a few students who will love this YA GN about depression.

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Jan 12, 2021 Jesse rated it it was amazing

Shelves: illustration-is-magic, young-adult, graphic-novel, glgb2021, fave-authors, self-development

I needed this right now. Share this widely, because you never know who does. 💙

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Aug 31, 2020 Hailey Carrell rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2020

This book is a beautiful exploration of depression and anxiety. It is honest and raw and so relatable. And the illustrations are gorgeous and powerful!

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Sep 13, 2020 Jenn Gar Cia rated it it was amazing

Beautifully illustrated metaphors perfectly depicting the truth is that is mental illness AND mental awareness/resilience!!! Beautiful piece all around!

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About Laura Lee Gulledge

Laura Lee Gulledge

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LAURA LEE GULLEDGE is an Eisner Award nominated author, illustrator, and active teaching artist. She is the creator of the YA graphic novels Page by Paige, Will & Whit, and The Dark Matter of Mona Starr (April 2020, Abrams Books) in addition to her interactive book Sketchbook Dares: 24 Ways to Draw Out Your Inner Artist.

Laura Lee also enjoys exploring comics journalism, interactive event product ...more