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Dancing at the Pity Party

4.68  ·  Rating details ·  75 ratings  ·  25 reviews
Part poignant cancer memoir and part humorous reflection on a motherless life, this debut graphic novel is extraordinarily comforting and engaging.

From before her mother's first oncology appointment through the stages of her cancer to the funeral, sitting shiva, and afterward, when she must try to make sense of her life as a motherless daughter, Tyler Feder tells her story
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Hardcover, 208 pages
Expected publication: April 14th 2020 by Dial Books
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  • Dancing at the Pity Party by Tyler Feder
    Dancing at the Pity Party
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    Release date: Apr 14, 2020
    Enter to win an advance copy of DANCING AT THE PITY PARTY by illustrator Tyler Feder!

    Part poignant cancer memoir and part humorous reflection on a
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    Format: Print book

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    Availability: 5 copies available, 1656 people requesting

    Giveaway dates: Feb 14 - Mar 13, 2020

    Countries available: U.S.

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    Community Reviews

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    Average rating 4.68  · 
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     ·  75 ratings  ·  25 reviews


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    Steven Feder
    Jan 07, 2020 rated it it was amazing
    My late wife (and Tyler's mother), Rhonda, was a bright, beautiful, sensitive, loving and very kind woman, unlike anyone I had ever known. She was a wonderful wife of 21 years and an adoring mother. She epitomized the meaning of the word "mother" and was totally devoted to her children. Rhonda "walked softly but carried a big stick". She was respected and admired by all who knew her and her loss was and continues to be seismic. In reading my daughter Tyler's memoir, "Dancing at the Pity Party", ...more
    Brenda Kahn
    I grabbed this on my way to the airport and read it while I waited for my flight. I wept copiously. So much about this beautiful, important graphic novel resonates. It truly belongs in every possible library collection. I wouldn't necessarily hand it to someone newly grieving the loss of a loved one, but certainly to everyone who wants to help.

    While reading this, I couldn't help but remember the cancer journey my close friend had. We were friends because two of our sons were good buddies. She
    ...more
    Rec-It Rachel
    Aug 02, 2019 rated it it was amazing
    what a gut punch, and so beautifully captured
    Rachel
    Aug 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
    I cannot say this enough times - YOU WILL CRY IN PUBLIC. Today while reading it I cried 1) waiting for an event in a bookstore, 2) on the subway, like a lot, and 3) walking home just talking about it. SO GOOD.
    CompletelyBooked
    Jan 05, 2020 rated it it was amazing
    This book is an honest look at dealing with the death of a mother, and you feel as though you’re experiencing Tyler’s pain right alongside her. We get to know her mother and see a real story about cancer and death that isn’t sugarcoated. Tyler’s story is excellently told in this graphic novel and I look forward to seeing any future books of hers.
    Ava Budavari
    Dec 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing
    I was so excited when I found out that one of my favorite artists, Tyler Feder, was writing her own graphic memoir. And it was incredible. There is no other book like this out there and I think it is something that so many people will connect with. Anyone who has ever dealt with the loss of a loved one, this book is for you. Equal parts tragic, beautiful and funny, you will want to pick this up when it comes out in April 2020.
    Sandie, Teen Lit Rocks
    Even though I was 32 when my mom died not 19/20 like the author, I felt like she understood exactly how I felt about losing a mom (relatively) young. I mean, I have friends in their late 60s with living parents, so 32 felt young. Tyler's graphic novel is a retelling of the year her mother died but also an exploration of grief, art, family, and the way life becomes "before" and "after" in an instant after a parent (specifically a mother) dies. Highly recommend to anyone who's also a fellow member ...more
    Cynthia
    Jan 27, 2020 rated it it was amazing
    Absolutely wrecked me and I feel honored to have been invited into Tyler’s story. This gave me insight into the deep loss that is the death of a parent and reminded me all I can do for loved ones sometimes is hold space for the weight of grief. Truly remarkable work of art from one of the best artists of our generation.

    The images that captivated me the most were Tyler’s depictions of devastation and deep worry through her climbing and diving repetitively into dark, blue water. The millennial
    ...more
    Martha
    Feb 15, 2020 rated it it was amazing
    A sweet, tender, and painfully honest memoir of Feder’s journey through grief after her mother’s death. Feder’s frank depiction of the physical effects of cancer and treatment, brought me back to the worst moments of my own family’s cancer loss. The details about planning a funeral, dealing with mourners, and the awkwardness of introducing the fact of her mother’s death into conversations will help others — young adults and beyond — recognize that their feelings are shared, normal, and ...more
    Jennifer
    Jan 03, 2020 rated it it was amazing
    Few books rip my heart out while simultaneously making me laugh. This book captured all the nuance of the confusing emotions of loss and learning how to move on. Every little detail in the illustrations is dead on and there for a reason. Loss is super confusing but particularly when you are a child losing a parent (I unfortunately know first hand). This is a powerful book for anyone with a heart.
    Sarah
    If you’ve ever experienced grief, read this graphic memoir.

    Figured I would quickly read this ARC before bed and it’s so REAL. Pretty sure every teen and adult will relate to this graphic novel, even if we still have our moms. We’ve all lost someone close to us and Feder makes us remember. Love how she’s quirky with made-up words that make sense and interesting visuals that help us know her feelings better.
    Karly-Lynne (storybookcook)
    Jan 02, 2020 rated it it was amazing
    Dancing at the Pity Party is phenomenal! It's a truly beautiful, heart-breaking memoir about death, grief, and family. Feder's art is charming and she shares her experience of losing her mother to cancer with such honesty and humour—I laughed and cried (sometimes at the same time) throughout the book.
    Jodi
    Feb 16, 2020 rated it it was amazing
    I wish I had this kind of book back in 1992, when my Mom died...Tyler, you wrote (and drew) my experiences so close to the bone...thank you for this. I will be sharing it with my niece (her Mom, my big sister) died on 12-6-19, and she is trying to cope...This was a Goodreads Giveaway, and I was lucky enough to win it, and LOVED it!
    Kim
    WHY would anyone voluntarily read a story about an author’s experiences after her mother died from cancer in 2009?
    WHY??
    Because Tyler Feder draws us into the inner circle of her family, before and after Rhonda’s death, so sweetly and genuinely and heart-scrapingly that you will finish the book changed.
    You will.
    You should read it.

    Thank you, PRH and Dial, for the advanced readers copy.
    Greysi Reyes
    Jan 11, 2020 rated it really liked it
    Let me start by saying how much I love the illustration in this book, even being a sad story, it brings light and humor to it. I loveee the way the author goes about it and tell the story of her family the ups and downs, I cried, I laughed, so many emotions.
    Mrs. Porter
    Feb 08, 2020 rated it it was amazing
    Shelves: 2020
    What a beautiful love letter to a mom. What a piercing and raw look at the grief of losing a mother. I am so sorry for Tyler Feder’s loss and grateful for her putting words and pictures to what so many of us struggle to articulate.
    M
    Feb 04, 2020 rated it it was amazing
    Shelves: arc
    I loved this title and cried several times while reading. As a member of the Dead Mom club, it resonated. This will be a great title to help those going through the loss of a family member or who already have and need to know someone out there understands.
    Andréa
    Note: I accessed a digital review copy of this book through Edelweiss.
    Bethany
    I feel this book 100%
    Stacey Keller
    Dec 18, 2019 rated it it was amazing
    Shelves: just-for-me
    Wow. I never cry reading books but this one really got to me. It's so truthful, honest and funny.
    Mary
    Nov 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
    Shelves: memoirs, ya
    When Tyler Feder was a sophomore in college, her mom died. It was devastating and awful and awkward and messy, and she details her experiences during that time in her graphic memoir, which is also a beautiful love letter to her mom, whom she obviously adored. Dancing at the Pity Party is not a survival guide, but a survivor’s guide—I loved Feder’s tips on how to support grievers and the attractive, whimsical illustrations that filled each page. With unexpected humor and grace, this book is a ...more
    Jessica
    Aug 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
    Tyler Feder's graphic memoir on the early loss of their mom is a beautiful ode, and an excellent how to guide for those new to "the club" of motherless daughters.

    This book resonated with me on many levels - from the lovely art to sitting shiva wrapped in a blanket hiding from your exes. While this is not the book you Want to have to recommend, it does fill a niche that is often ignored.

    Note to survivors: don't read this thirty days before your wedding unless you are trying to cry.
    Brie
    Aug 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing
    Shelves: 2019
    This book just... there were so many small things that I realize everyone experiences, and having a dead parent is one of those that is so hard to talk about. Reading this was such a joy (I mean duh it was sad) but I felt so seen and laughed. Our experiences were different, but the grief process is so universal and unspoken about that reading this was just damn comforting.
    Ashley
    Jul 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
    Shelves: 2019, 2019own, arc
    Packed a gut punch in the best way. Cannot wait to see a finished copy.
    Stefanie Kellum
    Aug 20, 2019 rated it really liked it
    Shelves: graphic-novels
    *I read a digital ARC of this title from the publisher via NetGalley.
    Nichole
    rated it really liked it
    Nov 12, 2019
    Kate-Lynn Brown
    rated it it was amazing
    Dec 13, 2019
    Tina McLaughlin
    rated it it was amazing
    Feb 03, 2020
    Katrina Bright-Yerges
    rated it it was amazing
    Aug 28, 2019
    Spencer Gibbons
    rated it it was amazing
    Aug 17, 2019
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