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Why Bother: Discover the Desire for What’s Next

4.05  ·  Rating details ·  234 ratings  ·  71 reviews
The most important question you’ll ever ask yourself

In Why Bother? personal-growth expert Jennifer Louden challenges you to open your mind, your heart, and your life by following where the question leads. Through reflection and stories from others, Louden shows that asking "why bother?" is natural and inevitable, and can bring you to a place of increased vitality, true sat
Paperback, 280 pages
Published April 21st 2020 by Page Two
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Mar 29, 2020 rated it really liked it
This book is full of insights and interesting quotes, plus every chapter evolves around examples coming from the author's life.

I have to admit I'm in a good place in my life, so I didn't need this book right now, but Louden's advices are easy to follow and could help you out. If you feel stuck in your life right now, this book could really make you move forward.

Publication date: April 21st, 2020

Thanks to Page Two Books and Netgalley for the digital ARC in exchange of an honest review.
Maxine (Booklover Catlady)
May 10, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Everybody
Recommended to Maxine by: NetGalley

End of review. Period. Nothing further required. Warning - it may change your life completely.

Where do I start about this book? I needed this book right now to fall into my hands and I can honestly say with all of my heart that I will never live my life the same way again. It's almost impossible to really describe the way the book has impacted me and how I believe it can impact anyone who absorbs it. It is for those saying "what next?" and so many other questions.

Why Bother?
Feb 20, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This is not your average self-help book. While other books in this genre float around midstream, this one soars above the others and lifts us with it. The author doesn't tell us how to bother, or why to bother, or how to live a life that's full of joy and meaning. Instead, she offers examples from her own times of not-bothering and shares how she found doorways and paths out of such overwhelm, grief, transition, loss, and depression.

I know that anyone who is going through anything difficult will
Jennifer Rumack
Feb 26, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I love Jennifer Louden's books. The Woman's Comfort book was a favorite of mine during a time that made the concepts particularly applicable. As I began to read this book, I found myself searching for the "tips and tricks"....give me a checklist! When that didn't surface, I eased into the ideas in this book. They are deep. They caused me to think, to highlight, and to take notes for pondering. I ended up needing this book at THIS point in my life. It was particularly poignant and I will buy myse ...more
Jan 28, 2021 rated it it was amazing
I found Jen’s Instagram page at the beginning of 2021 and immediately connected to the title of this book, “Why Bother?” After a lifetime of high-speed overachieving with a large dose of self-criticism, the forced slowdown of the pandemic gave me plenty of time to reflect on my life’s choices. I slipped into “Why Bother?”, wondering why I had pushed so hard for so long and whether it made any difference at all.

This book is a gentle and helpful guide that gave me steps to consider whether I wante
The thing about this book is that it gets a little too long-winded, so much so that at the end of every chapter, I'll go, "Wait, what did she say again?" The author does get very personal, constantly picking out examples from her own life as well as others'. In a way, it does help to connect with readers at different stages of their lives. But it can get too much, and the whole point of that particular portion of the book gets lost in it. Sometimes I even wonder if the example used is entirely a ...more
Apr 19, 2020 rated it it was amazing
If you are contemplating a change and want to find your deep level “why” then this is the book for you. Jen combines personal stories with practical advice along the journey to “why bother”. She includes helpful questions for each stage along the path. I highly recommend for anyone feeling stuck, facing a decision, or a life pivot.

I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
Apr 21, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I am in love with this book because it answers my life long question of what is my purpose. As a mother of grown adult men, I have struggled with my purpose in the world for some time.

What I want has been tamped down on by me for as long as I can remember. It’s no ones fault I know - I was just doing what was needed for everyone else and it was a privilege to be actively engaged with my family.

This book - each word of which was intentionally chosen and speaks to both the heart of the struggle of
Liz Norell
Apr 01, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
Disclaimer: I'm a bit of a Jen Louden #fangirl. It's possible I'd like to be her new BFF... but I promise, that aspiration is a _result_ of reading her book, and not the reason I'm about to gush about it.

In tackling an important but challenging topic, Jen Louden brings a tricky balance of hard-won wisdom, vulnerability, and sass to help inspire women around the world to stop hustling and start listening to the niggling sense, often buried under layers and layers of "alien invaders," that what t
Apr 02, 2020 rated it really liked it
This was my first time reading anything by Jennifer Louden. This book isn't what I expected, but it definitely has me thinking about my life and my bother in a new way. This isn't like most self-help books where a reader is given encouraging generic statements and then told to simply go after their dreams. Louden tells readers to slow down, settle into themselves, and discover what they really want, big or small. The author suggests people take a "desire retreat" where they set aside a specific ...more
Mar 06, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Jennifer Louden's latest book reads like a deep-into-the-night conversation with a best friend. Introspective and real, Jennifer offers highs and lows in her own life to help us to find the 'why' in our 'bother.' This is not one more mainstream "Oh, Just be happy already and then you'll be happy" sort of book; it's one that asks us to look deeper inside to find the 'why,' our own personal 'why,' beneath the 'what.' This is not a complicated book, but the concepts will stay with you, and keep you ...more
Susan Anderson
Apr 03, 2020 rated it it was amazing
"Why Bother?", Jennifer Louden's new book is definitely worth the bother. Jen is authentic and I felt like we had been good friends forever by the end of the book. Her ideas are shared, not preachy or talking down to the reader. The wide range of suggested reflections Jen offers will bring new life insights to anyone who bothers to pick it up. ...more
Mar 26, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Why Bother? by Jennifer Louden In feeling unsettled, defeated and depressed, the ideas in the book comes at the time when help and support is needed. Have highlighters, pens, and notebooks at the ready, there are a multitude of ideas to explore and contemplate. As the Woman’s Comfort Book did in 2005, Why Brother? is helpful in going through life's rough patches in the 2020s.

Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for the opportunity to preview the book.
TEELOCK Mithilesh
Jun 14, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Louden initially worked as a screenwriter. According to information makes Louden since her 12th year yoga and found so to relaxation methods. She studied "Ontological Coaching" at the Newfield Network and has worked as a coach since then. She wrote a column for Body & Soul magazine and had her own radio show at Martha Stewart's Sirrius Network. She wrote numerous wellness guides that have also been published in German since 2006. The books have been translated into 9 languages ​​and have reached ...more
Ankit Singh
Apr 07, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: dnf
The title of the book was very attractive and I had a hope that I will enjoy the book. I also read some wonderful review. But I could not connect with the book. I just could not continue post 25% of the book as it seemed really monotonous on the tone. It did not excite me to continue reading further.

Thank you publisher, author and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange of an honest review.
Sharon Larson
Jul 26, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I’ve lost my purpose. This book found it.

As I sit in middle age, I feel I’ve done everything and that nothing is left for me. I literally have been asking “why bother” for about two years now. I suggest you read it so you learn why you should bother. Every page is perfection.
Megan Baker
Apr 12, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I am so grateful to have been able to read a pre-release copy of Jen Louden's new book Why Bother?

This question is so ubiquitous in our comparative, somebody's-already-done-that culture. Artificial measures of success make many of us question and drop our life passions and our creative projects. Jen's dared to un-earth this question of "why bother?" and give it light and air, and some supportive discussion with a reflective approach.

It would be easy for this book to be a 5-step process: do thes
Apr 22, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This is the book I had no idea needed until I started reading. In WHY BOTHER, Jennifer Louden offers stop-you-in-your everyday thinking and feeling ruts with questions that make you take another look. She shares her own doubts, fears, and failures and the unexpected, unforeseen joy that comes with letting go of what you thought you needed and should be to live your own authentic, fully present life. Her rousing fresh perspective flips you past the dour depression that comes with believing you've ...more
Sep 24, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: ng
If you're on your couch stewing about how you no longer have a job because someone ate a bat, and you no longer have a house because someone threw one of those lame gender reveal parties, this might be the book for you. Louden counsels you not to fight the feeling of "why bother?" but to use it as a way forward, doing the work of envisioning what comes next, aka, "how to bother." It's also refreshing that Louden acknowledges that she is privileged enough that the struggles she's had were not act ...more
Apr 21, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I've known Jennifer Louden for years....she's the kind of person that you meet (or read) and feel like you've known her all your life. Not only is Jen a master of the written and spoken word, but she has an uncanny mastery of the human condition and spirit. She is at once practical and pragmatic, and yet intuitive and spiritual. She is like your truest BFF - honesty, funny, brave...the real real.

Long before self-care was a social media buzz word (or video), Jen taught us that central to self-car
Lynn Jennings
Apr 22, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I'm so excited that this book is finally out! It distills all the wisdom of a lifetime of “learning to bother” in a warm comforting way that feels like talking to an astoundingly wise sister or friend. Jen doesn't offer pat answers or simple platitudes because she knows that we don't need another “guru” to tell us how to live. Instead she uses compelling examples from her own life, dropping breadcrumbs along the way, to help you uncover your own inner knowing of where to go next. I don't recall ...more
Sarah Flick
Apr 22, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I have known Jen Louden for almost twenty years. I have read every book she has published and given them as gifts to friends and family over these years. I have been so lucky to retreat with her and learn from her and be inspired by her. This book, Why Bother, feels like having tea in front of a fireplace while snow falls outside. It feels like walking in the woods and watching the New Mexico sun rise and set on the same day. This is a book that both brings us home to our true selves and calls u ...more
Apr 23, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This is a fantastic read.

The feeling of "why bother" happens to most of us at some point in our lives. It can be really hard to accept - and Jen meets us right where we are. Using honest examples from her own lives and those of others, she charts a path through this process - using the "why bother" as a starting point of a new journey to find your next "bother". I loved this book - I am usually resistant to anything self-help but this book avoids easy solutions and instead lets you guide yourse
Jen Milette
Apr 21, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Bothering to desire or explore my passions can feel too frivolous when you are a busy mom taking care of young kids while working full-time. It seems like something that is only attainable for those who have more luxury or leisure time. But the truth is today, this moment, is wholly ours. Jen Louden shares her darkest moments with honesty. She does not sugar-coat the hard work she’s had to endure to get to the other side. “Why Bother?” is a guidebook to lead us back to the spark of what makes a ...more
Apr 21, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Although Jen writes books often thought of for "women" I've found her books to be equally important for men. Her "Women's Retreat" book is one of my go-to books as someone who frequently coordinates retreats. It's invaluable. "Why Bother" is an equally important book for men to read. She's been through the dark depths of her life journey from which she has noticed, developed and practiced new habit patterns of experiencing her life from a place of skillful responses instead of unskillful reactio ...more
Apr 22, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Such an important read!

I have been following and learning from Jen Louden since she came out with "The Woman's Comfort Book" back in the early 90s. She has helped me look at my life with awareness and untangle the mess and confusion that keep me stuck. I've been eager to read this new book, and it's even better than I hoped it would be. It's helping me think about my habits and tendencies and ways of thinking in a new way, and to see how I can dig into my Desire, nurture it and care for it so i
Cheri Honeycutt
Apr 21, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Reviewed in the United States on April 21, 2020
I have read everything that Jennifer Louden has written. She has been talking about showing up authentically to our lives, dipping into our creativity, and playing full tilt long before these were mainstream ideas. We need her voice, we need this book perhaps now more than ever. The question of “Why Bother?” is the very one we all need to be asking ourselves right now. Thank you Jennifer!
Cherie Townsend
Apr 21, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Reading this book is like sitting down with a trusted friend and sharing both dark times and times when you just want more. And, then, when you are clearer about what's most important to you, that friend is there to guide you toward climbing out of the dark or uncertain times and caring enough to go after it! It's comfortable, encouraging, challenging, non-judgmental, caring and fun! It is wonderful to read alone or in a group. I highly recommend it!

Anna Guest-jelley
Apr 22, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I read this book after a long period of feeling stuck. And oh, what a relief and support! Reading this book is like sitting down with that one friend who totally gets you and can talk you through where you are and the possibilities ahead. Jen does this with such skill and care that I finished the book feeling more connected to myself and the things I bother about than I had in a long time. Can’t recommend it highly enough!
Kris Verdeck
Apr 23, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Whether you've been seeking your life's purpose, working through a loss, are just plain stuck or wondering what's next, this book is relevant. I was lucky enough to have attended one of Jen's workshops and already knew how impactful and transformative her stories and techniques could be. Why Bother? is even more so. Jen's humor, honesty and vibrant personality shine through and I can hear her voice as clearly throughout the pages as if she were in the room reading aloud. ...more
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“The desolate kind of why bother means looking only in the rearview mirror of your life, back at your story that no longer makes sense to you or has been taken from you. Or, if you’re younger, you may find yourself looking into the future and believing all the good stuff of life is either out of your reach or no longer exists. It’s letting grief over past losses and traumas devour your future. It’s giving up on believing there is more for you, a more that can be as satisfying, as enlivening, as meaningful, as beautiful as what has come before or what has yet to be. It’s choosing comfort and routine over aliveness and growth. It’s believing your story of what’s not possible more than the bracing reality of taking action. It’s knowing you’ll never hear the voice of your beloved partner or friend or parent again—and refusing to listen for anything else. It’s too much sugar, too much wine, too many nights watching hours of TV, or too much partying when you want to be dancing or writing or learning the names of the constellations. It’s pointlessness, apathy, embitterment, disappointment, dismay. Perhaps, most of all, it’s disgust at yourself for being here in this haggard blank ick.” 0 likes
“I forgot that the purpose of desire is to draw us forward into living, into what captivates us—not to help us attain a particular career or creative goal or get paid more or even to stay married or find lasting love. I forgot that every major transition requires rediscovering desire; without that, I faltered. I forgot that what I bother about is always my choice and that I must actually choose, instead of looking outside myself for what to do next and then pretending it was my choice.” 0 likes
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