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Ties That Tether

Jane Igharo (Goodreads Author)

3.84 · Rating details · 4,825 ratings · 905 reviews

When a Nigerian woman falls for a man she knows will break her mother’s heart, she must choose between love and her family.

At twelve years old, Azere promised her dying father she would marry a Nigerian man and preserve her culture even after emigrating to Canada. Her mother has been vigilant about helping--forcing--her to stay well within the Nigerian dating pool ever sin ...more

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Paperback, 336 pages

Published September 29th 2020 by Berkley

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Take a Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert

2020 Adult Romance by Authors of Color

245 books — 80 voters

AoC or WoC New Romance 2020

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· 4,825 ratings · 905 reviews

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Jul 02, 2020 Nilufer Ozmekik rated it really liked it

This is a promising debut and I’m really happy to have a chance to read it because learning more about different cultures, their traditions, approaches, perspectives turned me into a excited child who is happy to discover new, colorful worlds and appreciates the knowledge is power.

Most of our ancestors have migrated from other countries and sometimes respecting your ancestors’ wishes and protecting your cultural identity might be one of the most challenging thing to achieve because when you adj This is a promising debut and I’m really happy to have a chance to read it because learning more about different cultures, their traditions, approaches, perspectives turned me into a excited child who is happy to discover new, colorful worlds and appreciates the knowledge is power.

Most of our ancestors have migrated from other countries and sometimes respecting your ancestors’ wishes and protecting your cultural identity might be one of the most challenging thing to achieve because when you adjust to your new environment, your efforts may be resulted with cultural degeneration. There are two risky solutions of this adaptation problem: you may lose the native identity completely and forget where you come from or you turned into someone without identity because you cannot adjust to both of the cultures. You’re just stuck in the middle of them.

This book gave impressive and educational approach to this sensitive topic:

The plot idea was also emotional, thought provoking and moving about young Nigerian woman, Azere wants to obey dying father’s last wish: she will preserve her cultural identity and marry with a Nigerian man. But when her one night stand with a white man turned into a intimate, meaningful relationship, she is stuck in a big dilemma: should she do what she’s told and respect her family’s wishes to marry with a man from her own culture or should she listen to her heart and choose her own path of happiness with Rafael.

It was entertaining, enjoyable romcom and both protagonists were thankfully likable. Their chemistry was hot, sizzling. Only the last quarter of the book a little disappointed me with regular cliches about hero and his big secret which ruined the lovers’ bright future kind of angsty parts. I found it a little unnecessary. But at least conclusion of couple’s lives story saved the day.

Because of the exaggerated angst parts I cut one of my stars. So I’m giving four identity, multicultural interest, powerful, promising, creative four stars! I’m looking forward to read new works of the author.

Special thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for sharing this moving ARC with me in exchange my honest opinions and introducing me a brilliant debut author. ...more

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Aug 10, 2020 Jessica rated it it was ok

Shelves: characters-of-color, authors-of-color

2.5 stars. Trigger warning for surprise pregnancy, loss of a child, loss of a loved one, and traumatic childbirth.

**I would like to clarify that these triggers do not happen to the same people and do not happen at the same time. People are assuming these happen all at the end and that I am spoiling the ending. This is not spoiling the ending. Certain people in here discuss death of a loved one and death of a child. That is why there is that trigger. I also think that it's important that people 2.5 stars. Trigger warning for surprise pregnancy, loss of a child, loss of a loved one, and traumatic childbirth.

**I would like to clarify that these triggers do not happen to the same people and do not happen at the same time. People are assuming these happen all at the end and that I am spoiling the ending. This is not spoiling the ending. Certain people in here discuss death of a loved one and death of a child. That is why there is that trigger. I also think that it's important that people know that this entire book revolves around a surprise pregnancy as it happens 5% into the book. That is a very triggering topic in itself and I do not read surprise pregnancy books, so I would have liked to know that this book dealt with surprise pregnancies the entire time before picking it up. That's not a trigger for me personally, just a preference. Hiding a trope used in the ENTIRE book does not help people when they read reviews to see if they will like a book or not.**

I want to start out with saying I was so excited to read this book. The cover is gorgeous and this book sounded so good with the main character falling for a man that was not Nigerian when she promised her deceased father she would marry a Nigerian man. Unfortunately, when I started this book, I was really not enjoying the writing style. The dialogue felt very forced and cliche and there were FAR too many movie references. Rom coms are our main character's "thing," but she goes on to reference at least ten movies and follow that reference up with an entire paragraph summarizing the movie or scene she was reminded of. This got to be too much, and, while I love movies and knew every single movie she referenced, I just didn't care and it took me out of the story each time.

On to the actual plot. This book deals with surprise pregnancy, which is my least favorite trope. While this is definitely a me problem, I wish the synopsis mentioned this because I wouldn't have even picked the book up. I honestly would have DNFd this book at that point if I weren't reading this for review. There is a love triangle between Azere and two guys, a Nigerian guy she has a past with that her mother picked and this other guy she had a one-night stand with. I didn't really feel any of the connection or past to the guy she had a history with and I didn't feel the chemistry that much with the other guy she had hooked up with. None of the romance really did it for me. It also felt like a lot started in this book and then just stopped or wasn't fleshed out enough. I feel like we still don't know these characters, who they are, or what they like other than the main conflict of the story. It was just missing that real-life authenticity to the characters.

I will say, I did appreciate the important discussion about dating someone that is not of your same ethnicity and how cultures can or cannot come together in a relationship. Azere has a lot of guilt over not staying completely loyal to her Nigerian roots and disappointing her family's expectations. However, the story itself, the writing, and the romance just did not mesh with me. ...more

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Dec 15, 2020 Berit☀️✨ rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2020, family-strong, advanced-reader-copy, arc-physical, faves, berkley, fun, own-voices

Loved IT! Jane Igharo’s debut is one of my favorite reads of 2020. this is the story of Azere, who immigrated to Canada from Nigeria as a child. she is constantly feeling the pole between her Nigerian culture and emvracing her new Canadian home. she made a promise to her father on his deathbed that she would Mary a Nigerian man. A promise that her mother reminds her of on a regular basis. when Azere meets Rafael she is instantly drawn to him even though he is definitely not Nigerian. A one night ...more

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Oct 01, 2020 Book of the Month added it

Why I love it
by Helen Hoang

As a second-generation Vietnamese-American, I heard my mom’s “coming to America” stories countless times while growing up, but they never grew boring. I always wanted to know more. What was it like adjusting to a new country and new culture? What was it like entering an interracial relationship with my dad? Ties That Tether offers a revelatory glimpse into this type of immigrant experience—from a Nigerian perspective.

After immigrating to Canada, Azere is under pressure ...more

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Dec 18, 2020 Elyse Walters rated it really liked it · review of another edition

“I wasn’t on a date. I was being interviewed for the position of dutiful Edo wife by a man who couldn’t chew with his mouth closed”.

Azere ( pronounced A-zay-ray), knew how to cook Edo food. She learned when she was a kid— back in Nigeria.
She and her family moved to Canada when she was twelve. Azere was twenty-five now—so that was a long time ago.
She was a creative director at an advertising agency.
Her date was impressed with her job, but said....”you would quit once you had a family to take ...more

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Oct 27, 2020 Larry H rated it really liked it

Does love always have to require sacrifices and hard choices? Jane Igharo analyzes that question in her great debut novel, Ties That Tether .

When Azere was 12, her father died, and she moved with her mother and sister from Nigeria to Canada. Just before he died, she promised her father she’d marry a Nigerian man and preserve their culture.

Since then, she’s been dutiful about keeping that promise, even as her mother becomes more domineering and essentially forces her to go on dates with eligib ...more

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Sep 27, 2020 Jite rated it liked it

This is an interesting romantic debut from a Nigerian-Canadian author. Being Nigerian myself, and a lover of Nigerian romance, this seemed like it would be an excellent match for me. I’ve read this with mixed emotions, the summary of which is that on the balance of things, I think it’s alright and I appreciate the story the author wanted to tell and really respected the own voices nature of that story about culture and love and assimilation and the fear of losing your heritage and disappointing This is an interesting romantic debut from a Nigerian-Canadian author. Being Nigerian myself, and a lover of Nigerian romance, this seemed like it would be an excellent match for me. I’ve read this with mixed emotions, the summary of which is that on the balance of things, I think it’s alright and I appreciate the story the author wanted to tell and really respected the own voices nature of that story about culture and love and assimilation and the fear of losing your heritage and disappointing your generations.

Starting with the positives, this story is undoubtedly own voices- the author captured the nuances of a common Nigerian experience especially for Nigerian immigrants growing up in the disapora, but this experience is even applicable locally. I read book with similar themes recently that was very well-written but that WASN’T own voices and reading this book, I can tell that the author understands this cultural experience and expectation because of her sympathy with Azere. I love that the author approached this theme and the relationship between Nigerian mothers and daughters which can be filled with such sacrificial care but also fraught with manipulation and misunderstanding and pressure. I love the moment in the book where Azere and her mother talk about conditional love because I feel like this is such an important theme in Nigerian parent-child relationships. This book made me think about the inherent societal pressures there are on parents for their children to conform to inherited culture and not “bring shame to the family” and how that pressure is inherited by kids to know that the weight of their parents’, community’s and ancestor’s expectations are on them. I definitely related to Azere’s desire to suppress things and pretend that everything was fine. I think this was strongest in the selected theme and for the most part, the plot.

Where this struggled a bit for me was in the execution. The protagonists didn’t feel full-bodied to me- Azere came across as immature because we never really got to know her and what she wanted as a character and who she really was outside of being her mother’s daughter, Rafael’s reluctant lover, Efe’s sister, Christina’s friend. I didn’t know what her dreams were, what she wanted from life, whether she liked her job, how she felt about her society etc. What little we saw of what kind of friend and sister she was didn’t really sell her as a character to root for. We didn’t know her as a human outside the major conflict of this novel. Rafael was also to me a bit of a shell- we didn’t know much about him either except that he was in love with Azere at first sight but not quite why? Even when he made his big declaration at the disastrous family dinner, it seemed out of left field as cute and delightfully awwwwww-some as it was, it felt a little hollow because we didn’t know him as a character- what does he like outside of Azere, who is he as a person, what did he feel about being in a multicultural relationship, what was his reaction to the pushback from Azere’s family. I felt the character development was a little surface-y. And I think as a reader, knowing the character’s better would have made this a stronger read than it was. As it was, I still enjoyed reading this story, I just think this aspect could have been stronger.

I frequently found the way the story was revealed a little clunky. The dialogue to me, wasn’t always realistic and the plot felt a little jumpy and not seamless and I think part of this might be teething issues with this being the author’s first book and also with the author writing a romance that she wanted to appeal to both own voices readers and a mass foreign audience. I wish the author hadn’t always felt the need to explain everything but had just let the book rest on what she wrote- for example, every element of Nigerian culture or sayings explained in great detail, every reference to a Nigerian cultural icon (like Tiwa Savage, Patience Ozokwor, Simi etc) explained in great detail, rom-com movie references being given mini-analyses/recaps... it just felt a little too much. I’ve read many books even romances with cultural references that I didn’t know and if I was interested, I Googled to learn, and if I wasn’t interested, I kept it moving. The needing to “glossarize” every reference often pulled me out of the plot and it skewed this book for me into not really being for readers with romantically-underrepresented cultural experiences but a book for “Westerners” to have an insight into an aspect of Nigerian culture.

The other issue I experienced with this is something I sometimes see in interracial romances where in order to justify the relationship with the white character, the “ethnic” protagonist must always somehow drag every relationship they’ve had with dating someone from their culture. It’s like “well I’ve tried dating people from my culture/race and they were toxic messes and so that justifies me dating this person from a different race.” These sorts of implied or overt narratives really irk me. After all, is it because of their race that this new love interest is good/respectful/kind or is it because they are who they are. This book portrayed “dateable” Nigerian men in a certain light and whilst I don’t disagree that there’s a concerning proliferation of Nigerian f-boys, I think this aspect of the book was a little clunkily-expressed and fell a bit into that trap interracial romances sometimes do.

All in all, I think this is a good story, a very recognizable story to many people who struggle to find a balance and hold on to their culture and heritage in the middle of that space between the inevitability of cultural assimilation and the fear of loss and separation from heritage that breeds cultural fundamentalism. I appreciate the author trying to bring it into mainstream romance. I appreciate her for showing that love can win and culture doesn’t have to be sacrificed. The execution wasn’t my favourite but this was a debut and the author wrote a book that was interesting enough that I didn’t put it down till I finished once I started.

Many thanks to Berkley Publishing for gifting me this free book! ...more

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Jun 13, 2020 Lily Herman rated it liked it

Okay, um, I can't get into this review until we acknowledge how RIDICULOUSLY GORGEOUS this cover is. Oh? My? God? It's one of my favorites of 2020, hands down.

Jane Igharo's Ties That Tether is a wonderful debut with a powerful underlying message about trying to figure out who you are when straddling completely different cultures that can, at the surface, seem totally incompatible. I rooted for Azere almost immediately (and not just because she's a huge rom-com fan like moi), and Rafael was a cha ...more

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Nov 29, 2020 Corina rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: black-author, contemporary-romance, standalone, bipoc

Full review to come...

___________________________________

I received a copy of this book from the publisher for free in exchange for an honest review. My opinions have not been influenced by the publisher or the author.

Find more reviews and book recommendations on my blog
Follow me on Bookstagram ...more

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Dec 13, 2020 Maria rated it it was amazing

I’m in love with this book! The only thing I can honestly compare it to is Beach Read - these two books are not your average romance but Ties that Tether is my favourite of the two)!

I love that this takes place in Toronto, I loved the characters, and the wild ride it takes you on. From holding on to your culture to making comprises that aren’t fair, this book was so real and heartbreaking all at once.

One of my favourites of 2020! :)

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Sep 24, 2020 Amanda Hupe rated it it was amazing

Shelves: netgalley, 2020-reads

Thank you, NetGalley, Berkley Publishing Group, and Jane Igharo for the opportunity to read this book!

Ties that Tether by Jane Igharo started off as a cover request. I mean, come on, just look at this stunning cover! No one could pass on it. Well, there is an added bonus…the story is also stunning. Azere moved to Canada from Nigeria at the age of 12. Before her father died, she promised him that she would marry a Nigerian man to preserve her culture. She has always been a good daughter, but she Thank you, NetGalley, Berkley Publishing Group, and Jane Igharo for the opportunity to read this book!

Ties that Tether by Jane Igharo started off as a cover request. I mean, come on, just look at this stunning cover! No one could pass on it. Well, there is an added bonus…the story is also stunning. Azere moved to Canada from Nigeria at the age of 12. Before her father died, she promised him that she would marry a Nigerian man to preserve her culture. She has always been a good daughter, but she is getting a little tired of the constant line of dates that her mother is setting her up with. One night, after a particularly disastrous interview date, she meets a man at the bar. Rafael is in town for a job interview and he is captivated by Azere. After a night of passion, Azere is determined to put it behind her and focus on pleasing her mother. That is until Rafael is the new hire at her work…

I read this book in ONE night. I laughed, I cried, and I swooned. I was completely captured by this story from page one. Azere is intelligent and gorgeous inside and out. I love her devotion to her family and culture and also the devotion to herself. She is determined to be the best in her career and also follows her heart.

“The truth, my village was far from being a metropolis. Sure. It was quiet, rural, and simple. But our ancient customs and the simplicity of our lifestyle didn’t make us uncivilized. We were a community of teachers and doctors and farmers and vivacious marketwomen whose sharp wits and quick tongues could easily rival many university graduates. My mother was one of these women.”

TIES THAT TETHER
The most painful and yet beautiful part of this book is the mother/daughter relationship. There is one scene where Azere misses her mom so fiercely that it made me cry. Mother/Daughter relationships are so complicated as it is, but theirs is so much deeper. It is not just about the love for each other but preserving a part of themselves that the white world often tries to erase. This puts such a heavy burden on both Azere and her mother. I cannot recommend this book enough. It hits shelves on September 29th so be sure to grab your copy! I rate this book 5 out of 5 stars! ...more

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Dec 26, 2020 Lisa rated it liked it

[2.5]. Started out fizzy and sweet but soon became flat and syrupy.

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Aug 12, 2020 Precious ✨ rated it it was amazing

Shelves: read-it-again-or-book-hangover, inclusion-diversity-mcs, international-settings, favorites, i-want-a-physical-copy, arc-s

I have nothing.
Nothing could have been changed.
Nothing could have enhanced this story more.
Nothing could be better.
Nothing can change my mind.
Perfection.🖤

--------

So two months later and this book is still leaving me a bit tongue tied.
Ties That Tether was such a fantastic read, that I devoured. I felt for both of the main characters. Over the course of it's 300 sum pages it gets into identity, loss, traditions, love, and the gilded cages that can come from each.

That's how I pictured both A ...more

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Jul 21, 2020 Cortney Evans rated it it was amazing

This book was absolutely beautiful! I loved it so so much! I enjoyed getting to know Azere and learn about her Nigerian culture. The Ties That Tether did an amazing job of bringing to light the beauty and the richness that comes from in an intercultural relationship. This book really made you question how well do you know yourself and what makes you, you? This book gets all the stars from me! A must read! I want to thank Netgalley and Berkley Publishing Group for an advanced copy of this book!

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Oct 11, 2020 Christi (christireadsalot) rated it it was ok

Ties That Tether is a debut book about Azere, a Nigerian woman who at 12-years-old promised her dying father she would marry a Nigerian man even after emigrating to Canada. So from the blurb/synopsis this is a story of preserving your culture, attempting to abide by your family’s wishes and the balance of also finding your own happiness in life. Instead this story takes a turn very early on that the entire plot centers around and becomes the actual story. After her mom’s latest matchmaking fails ...more

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Aug 15, 2020 Amber rated it liked it

2.5 stars

Ties That Tether grabbed my attention because it promised a love story while balancing parental expectations. While Ties That Tether paid homage to romance by referencing romance movies, I struggled to place the genre.

Azere’s mother was deadset on marrying Azere off to a nice Edo man and Azere didn’t know how to live her life without disappointing her parents. I liked the discussions on struggling to keep your culture in a new country and the expectations parents can have, but the roman ...more

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Oct 06, 2020 Oyinda rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: audiobook, african-main-character, read-in-oct-2020, african-in-diaspora, african-female-author, ebook, race

2.5 stars rounded up!

I have a lot of mixed feelings about this one, tbh. This was a book I went into with a lot of expectation and hope. I've been wanting to read this for months. Like a lot of my anticipated reads, I saw this first on Netgalley and it was so enticing. I waited till it was available on audio, and I listened to it immediately, dumping my current read at the time. It was, to put it lightly, disappointing. I'll discuss what I liked and what I didn't in this review.

What I Liked
- The 2.5 stars rounded up!

I have a lot of mixed feelings about this one, tbh. This was a book I went into with a lot of expectation and hope. I've been wanting to read this for months. Like a lot of my anticipated reads, I saw this first on Netgalley and it was so enticing. I waited till it was available on audio, and I listened to it immediately, dumping my current read at the time. It was, to put it lightly, disappointing. I'll discuss what I liked and what I didn't in this review.

What I Liked
- The Romance: The romance in this book was so well-written, and I enjoyed reading how Azere and Rafael's relationship advanced.
- The Love Interest, Rafael: One of my two fave characters in this book is Rafael, and I really enjoyed his antics.
- Efe: Efe, Azere's sister, is my other favorite character. I liked her very much and would have preferred her as the main character, because she seems more mature.
- The first-gen immigrant experience: I love that so many parts of this book chronicled the main character's experience as a first gen immigrant, her struggles, triumphs, and life.
- The male narrator: The male narrator was so so good, his voice was like butter.
- The female narrator (some parts): I have a love-hate relationship with the female narrator of this book, and I hated and loved her narration. I loved how she conveyed the emotions of the characters, and the giggles and laughter she added to the narration.
- The ending: Ohhhh, the ending really salvaged the book for me. I really love how the book wrapped up.

What I Didn't Like
- The main character: Azere really annoyed me in this book, and I had a problem with so many aspects of her character. Sometimes, she just didn't add up to me. She was also very immature sometimes. The purity culture was disgusting, and it annoyed me to no end. If you write a main character that is sexually liberated enough to have a one-night stand, why does she keep going on and on about the man that "took" her virginity. It made me sad because it's a harmful notion. They had sex, EOD. No man takes anything from a woman when they have consensual sex! The amount of times I heard phrases relating to "took my virginity" made me want to fling my phone.
- Her mother: Her mother was another annoying character, and the least likeable in the entire book!!! She was such a stereotypical caricature of the "African mother" and had no redeeming qualities. She was unnecessarily hard on Azere over a promise she made when she was 12! She was also very hypocritical!!!
- Info dumps on Nigerian culture: There were too many info dumps in this book, and the author kept explaining the smallest things about Nigerian and Edo culture. I understand trying to explain things to the Non-Nigerian readers, but it was too much and at some points this book was more of "An Introduction to Nigerian Phenomena" rather than a book that should have been in a way unapologetically Nigerian.
- The female narrator (some parts): While I enjoyed a lot about the female narrator, I hated how she depicted Azere's mother, and the use that Nigerian accent that Nigerian Americans use to imitate us (picture Yvonne Orji). It was disconcerting and came off as mockery, took whatever intention the author had with those parts and muddled it up.

This was entertaining, and I can see why it's gotten a lot of stellar reviews. However, it could have been much better, as it had potential to be something more. ...more

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Jun 04, 2020 mindful.librarian ☀️ rated it really liked it

Shelves: adult-reads, romance-only, advanced-reader-copies, aoc

(free review copy) 5 stars for originality in romance - AMEN for a voice and story from a culture (Nigerian-Canadian) not seen often (if at all) in contemporary romance 🙌🏼 3 stars for parts of the writing that seemed like they glossed over some characters and situations that I wanted to be a lot deeper. Overall, I’m excited to read more from this author and am very happy to have read this story.

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Sep 24, 2020 Lisa Wolf rated it really liked it

Shelves: romance, contemporary-fiction, canada, nigeria, family-drama, immigrant-experience

At first glance, Ties That Tether might seem to be just another contemporary romance. But really, it’s so much more.

Right off the bat, we know that Azere has done something completely out of character. After a terrible first date with yet another mom-approved man, Azere decides to cool off by having a drink in the hotel bar… where an attractive stranger strikes up a conversation with her. After talking for hours, they end up in bed and have a fantastic night together — but Azere leaves quietly t ...more

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Nov 02, 2020 Bethany rated it liked it

Shelves: black-authors, botm

Ties That Tether is a debut romance following a Nigerian-Canadian woman who falls for a white man and must contend with the expectations of her immigrant family versus what she might want for herself. You should also know that the plot revolves around an unexpected pregnancy- that isn't in the description but it happens early on and readers often have strong feelings about that trope. Given that this happens in practically the BEGINNING of the book, it really should have been in the description. ...more

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Sep 30, 2020 Ezinwanyi Chinyere rated it really liked it

Shelves: author-of-color, tcf-2020-books, review-books-completed, fiction, african-american-fiction, chick-lit, netgalley, 2020-books, international, interracial-romance

I was really excited to read this book as a first generation Nigerian American. I knew this story will resonate with me and feel as personal as it ended up being. This story wasn't as much a love story as it was a Coming of Age story where the heroine had to find her own way in life.

Much like the heroine Azere, I was often subjected to my parent's constant stressing about the importance of not losing cultural identity, traditions and language even if one is living in a foreign country. For the ...more

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Sep 30, 2020 Ms. Woc Reader rated it liked it

This one had drama after drama and I'm not sure I would label it romance because the romance often took a backseat to the family drama taking place.

Ties that Tether is a story about cultural identity and balancing more than one culture. The main character Azere has been balancing being Nigerian and Canadian for years and then this new relationship with the Spanish Rafael has thrown yet another identity in the mix.

It's revealed fairly early on however I wish it wouldve been in the synopsis that t ...more

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Oct 24, 2020 Salma19 (High Lady of the Dawn Court) rated it it was ok

Shelves: 2020-library

1.5 stars 😕💥😟

I was so ready to love it, but I didn’t!

Ugh, my most anticipated romance release was disappointing. I didn’t enjoy this book very much.

All I can say is if you don’t like the surprise pregnancy trope, skip it. It’s not a spoiler at all. I was not aware of that before reading it because that was not mentioned in the synopsis. As a result, my reading experience was ruined. I just can’t with that trope. CATFISH!🐠

The romance was terrible, cringeworthy, and tasteless. Rafael did not have ...more

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Oct 14, 2020 Latanya (Crafty Scribbles) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: adult, ownvoices, realistic-fiction, black-diaspora, food-for-the-melaninated-soul, contemporary, women

I cannot lie. I love a good love story, including this one. There's nothing hokey or eye-roll worthy found in this book. It's a complicated love story about culture, identity, family, and finding one's own steps in life.

I highly recommend this story for anyone trying to find their way through love and familial respect.

4/5 ...more

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Sep 30, 2020 Jenna rated it it was amazing

Shelves: kindle

I loved everything about this book!

A huge thank you to Berkley and Netgalley for my advanced copy.

Ties That Tether was my favorite book of September and is in the running for one of my favorite romances of the year. I cannot wait to see what Jane Igharo publishes next.

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Jan 01, 2021 Nicole (Bookiesandtea) rated it liked it · review of another edition

Beautiful romance book

I absolutely fell in love with this book from the cover along. The cover is stunning! Even though this was a predictable romance novel it still held my interest quite well.

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May 27, 2020 Fanna marked it as to-read

Shelves: 2020-releases

May 28, 2020: That cover! OMG. BEAUTIFUL. This is an ownvoices debut that follows a Nigerian woman who immigrates to Canada and features an interracial romance that can give you complex family and culture dynamics. I'm so excited for this one to release! ...more

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Sep 13, 2020 Toya (the reading chemist) rated it it was amazing

This book most definitely will not be for everyone. If you go into this story thinking that this is a light and fluffy rom-com, you will be sorely disappointed.

Azere emigrated from Nigeria to Canada when she was twelve years old, and she lives in constant fear of losing herself and her culture in Canada, which is exacerbated by her father’s last wish: to marry an Edo man. This means that Azere has endured countless dates orchestrated by her mother since becoming an obedient wife and bearing chil This book most definitely will not be for everyone. If you go into this story thinking that this is a light and fluffy rom-com, you will be sorely disappointed.

Azere emigrated from Nigeria to Canada when she was twelve years old, and she lives in constant fear of losing herself and her culture in Canada, which is exacerbated by her father’s last wish: to marry an Edo man. This means that Azere has endured countless dates orchestrated by her mother since becoming an obedient wife and bearing children is the highest honor she can achieve (mama’s words…not mine). Well, another one of those dates ends in flames, but Azere winds up meeting and having a one night stand with Rafael (who is white). What was supposed to be a one night thing turns into something much more than either Azere or Rafael anticipated.

There are so many different facets to this story, and I know I won’t be able to hit all of them, but there’s a few that I do want to focus on.

The entire discussion around the struggle that immigrants face due to the clash of one’s home culture versus the new culture they must assimilate to was eye-opening and raw. You can tell that Azere really grapples with trying preserve her Nigerian culture, but she also knows that Canada is her home and world as well. There’s this entire examination of the push pull between old world and new that I think Igharo nails.

I loved both Azere’s and Rafael’s characters. Both of them are incredibly passionate, fierce, and loyal to their families and customs. As someone who is biracial and in an interracial marriage, I 100% related to all of the struggles and complexities that Azere and Rafael face when you have people from different cultures coming together in a relationship. Azere doesn’t want her Nigerian heritage forgotten and Rafael’s Spanish customs are incredibly important to him as well. The author does a fantastic job of showing the struggles and complicated communications that couples face when you ultimately have to address compromising heritage and customs in favor of love and happiness.

I just can’t recommend this book enough!

Thank you to Berkley for providing a review copy through NetGalley. This did not influence my review. All opinions are my own. ...more

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Nov 27, 2020 Nerdread added it

Shelves: black-authors, dnf, diverse-main-characters, hate-to-love-theme

DNF at 50%

I can’t I just can’t! What the hell even is this ???

Chile .... where to even start with this mess of a book.... like seriously I was so excited to see a story with immigrant characters centered around a black female main character dealing with two cultures and navigating life through that. I was over the moon when I read the synopsis of the book because I can relate to this book. As a child of immigrants who came to America at the age of 12 like the main character I was beyond excite ...more

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Dec 03, 2020 Nnenna rated it it was amazing

I wanted to read this book as soon as I heard about it and I’m happy to report that I loved it!

It’s about a young Nigerian-Canadian woman named Azere, who meets a man named Rafael Castellano and starts to develop feelings for him. There’s just one problem- he is not Nigerian and she promised her parents that she would marry a Nigerian man. As her feelings grow, she has to choose between love and duty, between following her heart or following her parents’ wishes.

I saw a lot of myself in Azere. Sh I wanted to read this book as soon as I heard about it and I’m happy to report that I loved it!

It’s about a young Nigerian-Canadian woman named Azere, who meets a man named Rafael Castellano and starts to develop feelings for him. There’s just one problem- he is not Nigerian and she promised her parents that she would marry a Nigerian man. As her feelings grow, she has to choose between love and duty, between following her heart or following her parents’ wishes.

I saw a lot of myself in Azere. She’s Nigerian (she’s Edo, but I’m Igbo) and she works in advertising. She’s a dutiful daughter. She loves rom coms and tends to bury her feelings and pretend everything is fine, when it’s not. It me!!! I don’t recall either of my parents ever saying that I had to marry a Nigerian man. But other members of my family have, so I’ve experienced that external pressure to some degree.

I really connected with the way the author wrote about some of the struggles of being an immigrant. I was born here, but I think some of the struggles of being an immigrant and having immigrant parents overlap. Igharo writes about how immigrants chase success, wanting to work hard in their new country to prove that they belong there, while also showing those they might have left behind that they made the right choice when they moved.

She also talks about the struggle of growing up with multiple cultures and how Azere learned to fit into Canadian culture as a survival mechanism. I remember growing up and sometimes feeling suffocated by the Igbo ways that my parents were trying to teach me. I remember thinking, “Why did we have to do things differently? Why can’t we just be normal.” Now that I’m older, I have a better understanding and appreciation of what my parents were trying to do, but even now, my relationship with my Igbo heritage is complicated.

I didn’t mean to go that deep, but now you have a sense of some of the thoughts that surfaced as I was reading this book. The fact that I related a lot to the main character probably makes me biased, but I thought she was a great character and I really sympathized with her struggles. I also enjoyed the writing and how she incorporated some Edo phrases, and there were a couple good steamy scenes as well.

This is a story about love, family, being an immigrant, and choosing a different life than the one you’d envisioned or that was planned for you. I was thrilled when I heard about this romance written by a Nigerian author and for me, it was such a fun, relatable read. ...more

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“How much more of yourself, of your culture will you lose to accommodate him in your life?” — 2 likes

“Well.” He blinked rapidly, his glare quivering under the strain of mine. “You’re stubborn.” He knifed the steak again. “Your mother didn’t mention that. Personally, I prefer my women to be a lot more . . .” He pondered, eyes narrowed and darting as if considering some vast complexity, and then his stare stilled on me, and he said: “Submissive.” — 0 likes

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