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Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time
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Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time

(The Every Man)

3.88  ·  Rating details ·  6,648 ratings  ·  272 reviews
A down-to-earth, step-by-step plan to help men overcome sexual temptation deals with pornography, adultery, and other issues leading men astray. Original.
Paperback, 229 pages
Published July 18th 2000 by Waterbrook Press (first published 2000)
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Elena Adams Because, as is said in 2 Timothy 1:7-2:26, "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Therefore do not be ashamed o…moreBecause, as is said in 2 Timothy 1:7-2:26, "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher"

Therefore, as is clearly evidenced by this quotation, we should maintain "power" and "self-control". If you are touching yourself and committing the sin of self-satiation, you are not only wasting life in your poisoned, rotting semen, but you are also ruining your own tenuous self-control. If Jesus "abolished death" for you, why would you need to, quote unquoted, "wank"? The word itself is repulsive and anti-Christian.

If, you poor sexualised soul, you still cannot bring yourself to heed my rigorous advice, I shall have to give you further Christian counsels. Genesis 2:18: 'Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”' The notion of a "helper" implies the act of mutual sexual intercourse. Cunnilingus, auto-fellatio, analingus, sodomy, self-satiation etc. are not included. You must simply place your penis inside a vagina and be happy for the rest of your life. AMEN.

(btw I am pro-abortion this is a joke!)(less)

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J.G. Keely
Oct 29, 2007 rated it did not like it
When I was a kid I used to sleep over at my best friend's house, and since he and his family were practicing Christians, I ended up going to a lot of Sunday services with them. We'd sit and listen to the pastor and sing some songs, and often, we'd go back to his house and talk about what we'd heard.

I remember going with him and his brother to Bible study a few times, where I was always shocked to find that I knew more about the Bible than the kids who were there, who could quote a hundred verses
Mar 04, 2010 rated it did not like it
This book was disappointing. I've heard people speak of this book as if it's "the book" on defeating sexual temptation. Unfortunately, that's not what I found on the pages.
First of all, the authors are far too graphic, and may in fact evoke some of the very thoughts that they are telling you not to have. Big problem.
Second, while the authors provide some practical advice - it is all quite basic and really never touches on the real problem of lust - the heart. Bigger problem.
Lastly, the authors a
Victoria Springer
Mar 03, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This is an outdated piece of propaganda with outrageous examples and excuses for some pretty criminal and disgusting behavior. At several points, the authors say that women will find men’s brains “disgusting” or “repulsive,” and they’re right, but only because they insist that ALL men think this way. I’m sorry, but if you are masturbating to your sister-in-law innocently sleeping on the floor in front of you - that goes way beyond an “all men have this problem” mentality. You have now committed ...more
Oct 15, 2007 rated it it was amazing
I read this on the reccomendation of a friend, and have since reccomended it to many of my friends. It opened my eyes to ways that I might have unknowingly hindered my brothers in Christ. I appreciated the honest approach on the subject of sexual sin, of the way that God created men, and the frank advice given to men as well as women. I used the book to create a discussion, which I gave to the youth with whom I was working at the time. One of the questions I asked of the young ladies was: "Do yo ...more
Jessica Jensen
Mar 11, 2011 rated it did not like it
This book blames women for a man's "sin" of being sexually attracted to women with whom they are not involved, or with whom they are a "couple" but not yet "allowed" to be sexually involved. Take some responsibility guys, and also, sexual attraction is a natural thing. A biological thing. It's not evil. Neither is masturbation. ...more
Joshua Walden
Apr 19, 2009 rated it did not like it
This book was shenanigans. Super conservative, non-denominational shenanigans. Sexual purity is a great concept. However, this book is so hetero-sexist, and full of masogyny. I stopped reading it halfway through because of the offensive content.
Hannah Reeves
Oct 01, 2020 rated it did not like it
Shelves: yuck, non-fiction
Y'all, I can confidently award this book the distinction of being the most horrible book I've ever had the displeasure of reading. I knew going in that I would disagree with a lot of this book; I read it for a research project for university. What I didn't expect was how much Every Man's Battle would disgust and horrify me, and how much of it I would take into therapy with me for weeks afterward.
I'm speaking as a Christian woman who has been hanging on to the tatters of a faith that has been sh
Aug 18, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
One of these writers definitely thinks frequently about what it would be like to fuck Sally Field and, you know what? Same.
I'd actually give this book 2.5 stars but that's not an option.

I don't have anything against the book, it just covered a lot of things I either already knew or mostly, I was outside their target audience.

Now before you say "duh, this is a book for men," I'm referring to the sections for women. While the book is good at shedding light on men's struggles, I seem to fall into a narrow 1% of "understanding and merciful women" who were not exactly represented in this book.

My boyfriend lent it to m
Apr 20, 2021 rated it liked it
An incredibly useful, if problematic, resource for sexual purity.

I found a lot of useful advice, information, and encouragement in this book, enough to make it worth reading for most men. Arterburn and Stoeker have a solid understanding about the nature of compulsive behaviors, and approach this topic from a scriptural perspective while also discussing the scientific side of the topic. This book is a good primer for men who have not considered sexual purity before, or don't know how to pursue it
Jun 13, 2010 rated it liked it
This book is an excellent overview of the sexual struggles that most (if not all) men face in their lifetimes. The book was very accurate, explicit, and helpful in describing men's sexual wiring and how temptations often overcome men and can be conquered in light of this wiring.

I will say that this book is definitely helpful. Arterburn and Stoeker offer great advice on taking practical steps to fighting what they call "fractional" sexual addiction. Their solution starts with giving men helpful a
Sunny O
Oct 30, 2020 rated it did not like it
This books is simply to excuse men's desires for force sex, thoughts of rape, incest, or to live an immoral life. It also pushes to manipulate the woman in to thinking they are wrong for not wanting to engage in sex, or coupling. This book uses very negative descriptions of women, (Sex objects - like a methadone-like-fix.) They preach that it is normal and typical to "masturbate" while lying next to their sister-in-law, or for a 30-something man feeling sexually aroused by 15 years old children, ...more
D.A. Cairns
Jul 16, 2016 rated it it was amazing
If you are a man, read this book. If you are a woman, read this book. It will turn your thinking about male sexuality upside down, and let's face it, if you look around, this whole world has a pretty serious problem with sex. Pornography, masturbation and infidelity are all tackled head on. No excuses, no wishy washy BS post modernism.

This is an honest, and honestly great book. I'm going to read it again. Immediately. If you're a regular guy like me, who either thinks he has a problem controllin
Mar 27, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: marriage
I really enjoyed reading this book...not in the sense that it made me feel great, but that it was eye opening and challenging. I think it helped me to be a better wife and understand my husband in a new and honoring way. I would encourage all husbands and wives (well, really everyone...married or single) to pick up a copy of this book. It is raw and insightful and doesn't dance around the issue of sexual temptation.

It also has a great study guide at the back of the book...
Feb 09, 2021 rated it did not like it
This book is awful and further objectifies women and views them as sexual objects. This whole series is garbage (both the men’s and women’s books)!
Feb 06, 2020 rated it really liked it
A man's life long journey to freedom.

This book presents a refreshing attitude towards sin that is obviously counter-cultural. Since it was written a while ago, it's not quite up to date with today's electronic temptations which have arguably increased exponentially. I found the book unnecessarily graphic at points in terms of describing the author's temptations. So because of this, the book might not be for everyone. That said it was a great voice in my ear and I enjoyed the time going through i
Rob Curtis
Jul 21, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Powerful and very insightful. Definitely recommend for EVERY man!
Feb 02, 2014 rated it really liked it
There are certain subjects that many people do not want to discuss due to the discomfort associated with discussing them. One of those subjects is that of sexual purity. No one wants to go anywhere near it. That is taboo, it seems. No one wants to even think about it. The conversation that might get started will invariably end up discussing our personal darkest thoughts and secrets, as well as biological concepts that we would rather not deal with, or even know about, really. On top of all of th ...more
Frikkie Bruwer
Oct 11, 2015 rated it really liked it
First of all, I applaud the authors' courage to discuss a subject that most Christians are extremely shy and reluctant to even mention. It isn't discussed in church, and if your parents don't guide you through it, you can potentially become quite lost and misled by the modern standards for acceptable sexual thoughts and behavior.
I wouldn't say I agree with every word, but the ample references to Bible Verses keeps the authors on track, what else do we have to live by, if not what we read in the
Oct 20, 2008 rated it it was ok
Taken from a discussion about the book.

Behavioral intervention is a good first step but, I agree, it is limited. The bouncing the eyes thing is a good tip in that regard, but eventually it will have to move beyond that kind of intervention. This is the only strength of the book and that isn't saying much.

I agree that the interaction between the husband and wife isn't dealt with well. The whole topic is very skewed toward validating the man's experience. I vaguely remember a concept in the book r
Most men who struggle with sexual temptations feel that they are alone in their battle. The believe that other men don't struggle with the same issues and if anyone finds out about there will be a lot of shame involved. The authors of this book help to debunk these myths and offer practical methods for overcoming sexual temptations. This book is written from a Christian perspective and assumes that you believe in and will apply the scripture to this problem.

I found the book to be very encouragin
Jul 21, 2012 rated it really liked it
I thought this was an eye-opening book and gave me pause about what our culture teaches men (young AND old). I thought it was helpful to hear it articulated by someone else those things which every man seems to deal with on a daily basis.

I especially liked the observation that every interaction with a woman that provided even the smallest bit of gratification was stealing what is rightfully your wife's. That is a great way of looking at this from the male side of things.

I realize that 98% of wo
Josh Czinger
Its a short read and is fairly no-nonsense in its approach. The goodreads description is fairly apt. The discussion around Job 31:1 is the best portion of the book. It assumes basic items have been taken care of such as salvation. This book provides a good framework for counseling and a good place to start some difficult conversations. Due to its content, I would be particular in who I recommend this book to.
Ally Publico
the greatest lessons i've learned about purity came from this book; though it's meant for men to read, it's also a gem for women in this never-ending pursuit of holiness. this wonderful book sheds light in this generation of immorality and deviance towards God. ...more
Jan 03, 2011 rated it did not like it
Shelves: theology
Guilt trip. Here, I'll save you the time and money: Girls are hot and you are a TERRIBLE person for recognizing that. ...more
Jen Grice
Aug 24, 2019 rated it did not like it
If your husband is a narcissist he will use words in this book against you (wife).
Aug 11, 2020 rated it did not like it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Kari Hadley
Feb 06, 2022 rated it did not like it
I am not even sure where to start. This book was absolutely disturbing. There were so many things in this book that made my jaw drop. I read many passages out loud to my husband and his face told me his thoughts before he even said anything - he was shocked and completely disgusted that this was a popular book, that claims to be a Christian book! The things the authors describe in this book ARE NOT NORMAL. They are many times describing men who have serious sex addiction and they need profession ...more
Jan 04, 2022 rated it did not like it
Has this book helped people? Yes. Is it still helping people? Probably. Has it damaged a lot of people? Absolutely, yes! Can we do better? YES!

I read this about ten years ago as a new bride to help better understand where men are coming from, since we are told we are so different and women will never understand what men go through. I accepted the teachings because I assumed they knew better than me and had the knowledge and experience. Also, this book seemed groundbreaking for the time, at least
Caspian Scott
Dec 10, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: christian
This book is a bit dated. It’s quite conservative, and while there are many unfiltered stories of the struggle of different men, sometimes the descriptions go a bit too far and are not helpful or necessary. There are lots of Biblical references and parallels from Old Testament stories which I found interesting, and there were quite a few new things I learned about the mental and physical side of things leading to sexual temptation. It is well written and structured, and one that I would recommen ...more
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Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries—the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry—and is the host of the nationally syndicated New Life Live! daily radio program aired on over 180 radio stations nationwide, Sirius XM radio, and on television. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 4 million wom ...more

Other books in the series

The Every Man (1 - 10 of 16 books)
  • Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle: Honest Conversations About Sexual Integrity
  • Every Man, God's Man
  • Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin
  • Every Man's Challenge: How Far Are You Willing to Go for God?
  • Every Young Man, God's Man: Confident, Courageous, and Completely His
  • Every Man's Marriage: An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman
  • Every Young Man's Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation
  • Every Single Man's Battle
  • Every Day for Every Man: 365 Readings for Those Engaged in the Battle
  • Every Young Woman's Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World

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“Holiness is not some nebulous thing. It’s a series of right choices. You needn’t wait for some holy cloud to form around you. You’ll be holy when you choose not to sin. You’re already free from the power of sexual immorality; you are not yet free from the habit of sexual immorality, until you choose to be—until you say, “That’s enough! I’m choosing to live purely!” 0 likes
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