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Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time
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Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time

(The Every Man)

3.94  ·  Rating details ·  5,831 ratings  ·  237 reviews
A down-to-earth, step-by-step plan to help men overcome sexual temptation deals with pornography, adultery, and other issues leading men astray. Original.
Paperback, 229 pages
Published July 18th 2000 by Waterbrook Press (first published 2000)
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Average rating 3.94  · 
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 ·  5,831 ratings  ·  237 reviews

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J.G. Keely
Oct 29, 2007 rated it did not like it
When I was a kid I used to sleep over at my best friend's house, and since he and his family were practicing Christians, I ended up going to a lot of Sunday services with them. We'd sit and listen to the pastor and sing some songs, and often, we'd go back to his house and talk about what we'd heard.

I remember going with him and his brother to Bible study a few times, where I was always shocked to find that I knew more about the Bible than the kids who were there, who could quote a hundred verses
Mar 04, 2010 rated it did not like it
This book was disappointing. I've heard people speak of this book as if it's "the book" on defeating sexual temptation. Unfortunately, that's not what I found on the pages.
First of all, the authors are far too graphic, and may in fact evoke some of the very thoughts that they are telling you not to have. Big problem.
Second, while the authors provide some practical advice - it is all quite basic and really never touches on the real problem of lust - the heart. Bigger problem.
Lastly, the authors a
Oct 15, 2007 rated it it was amazing
I read this on the reccomendation of a friend, and have since reccomended it to many of my friends. It opened my eyes to ways that I might have unknowingly hindered my brothers in Christ. I appreciated the honest approach on the subject of sexual sin, of the way that God created men, and the frank advice given to men as well as women. I used the book to create a discussion, which I gave to the youth with whom I was working at the time. One of the questions I asked of the young ladies was: "Do yo ...more
Joshua Walden
Apr 19, 2009 rated it did not like it
This book was shenanigans. Super conservative, non-denominational shenanigans. Sexual purity is a great concept. However, this book is so hetero-sexist, and full of masogyny. I stopped reading it halfway through because of the offensive content.
Apr 26, 2010 rated it it was ok
Recommended to Beckie by: my boyfriend
I'd actually give this book 2.5 stars but that's not an option.

I don't have anything against the book, it just covered a lot of things I either already knew or mostly, I was outside their target audience.

Now before you say "duh, this is a book for men," I'm referring to the sections for women. While the book is good at shedding light on men's struggles, I seem to fall into a narrow 1% of "understanding and merciful women" who were not exactly represented in this book.

My boyfriend lent it to m
Jessica Jensen
Mar 11, 2011 rated it did not like it
This book blames women for a man's "sin" of being sexually attracted to women with whom they are not involved, or with whom they are a "couple" but not yet "allowed" to be sexually involved. Take some responsibility guys, and also, sexual attraction is a natural thing. A biological thing. It's not evil. Neither is masturbation.
Victoria Springer
Mar 03, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This is an outdated piece of propaganda with outrageous examples and excuses for some pretty criminal and disgusting behavior. At several points, the authors say that women will find men’s brains “disgusting” or “repulsive,” and they’re right, but only because they insist that ALL men think this way. I’m sorry, but if you are masturbating to your sister-in-law innocently sleeping on the floor in front of you - that goes way beyond an “all men have this problem” mentality. You have now committed ...more
Jun 13, 2010 rated it liked it
This book is an excellent overview of the sexual struggles that most (if not all) men face in their lifetimes. The book was very accurate, explicit, and helpful in describing men's sexual wiring and how temptations often overcome men and can be conquered in light of this wiring.

I will say that this book is definitely helpful. Arterburn and Stoeker offer great advice on taking practical steps to fighting what they call "fractional" sexual addiction. Their solution starts with giving men helpful a
Mar 27, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: marriage
I really enjoyed reading this book...not in the sense that it made me feel great, but that it was eye opening and challenging. I think it helped me to be a better wife and understand my husband in a new and honoring way. I would encourage all husbands and wives (well, really everyone...married or single) to pick up a copy of this book. It is raw and insightful and doesn't dance around the issue of sexual temptation.

It also has a great study guide at the back of the book...
Feb 06, 2020 rated it really liked it
A man's life long journey to freedom.

This book presents a refreshing attitude towards sin that is obviously counter-cultural. Since it was written a while ago, it's not quite up to date with today's electronic temptations which have arguably increased exponentially. I found the book unnecessarily graphic at points in terms of describing the author's temptations. So because of this, the book might not be for everyone. That said it was a great voice in my ear and I enjoyed the time going through i
Rob Curtis
Jul 21, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Powerful and very insightful. Definitely recommend for EVERY man!
Feb 02, 2014 rated it really liked it
There are certain subjects that many people do not want to discuss due to the discomfort associated with discussing them. One of those subjects is that of sexual purity. No one wants to go anywhere near it. That is taboo, it seems. No one wants to even think about it. The conversation that might get started will invariably end up discussing our personal darkest thoughts and secrets, as well as biological concepts that we would rather not deal with, or even know about, really. On top of all of th ...more
Frikkie Bruwer
Oct 11, 2015 rated it really liked it
First of all, I applaud the authors' courage to discuss a subject that most Christians are extremely shy and reluctant to even mention. It isn't discussed in church, and if your parents don't guide you through it, you can potentially become quite lost and misled by the modern standards for acceptable sexual thoughts and behavior.
I wouldn't say I agree with every word, but the ample references to Bible Verses keeps the authors on track, what else do we have to live by, if not what we read in the
Oct 20, 2008 rated it it was ok
Taken from a discussion about the book.

Behavioral intervention is a good first step but, I agree, it is limited. The bouncing the eyes thing is a good tip in that regard, but eventually it will have to move beyond that kind of intervention. This is the only strength of the book and that isn't saying much.

I agree that the interaction between the husband and wife isn't dealt with well. The whole topic is very skewed toward validating the man's experience. I vaguely remember a concept in the book r
Dec 17, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Most men who struggle with sexual temptations feel that they are alone in their battle. The believe that other men don't struggle with the same issues and if anyone finds out about there will be a lot of shame involved. The authors of this book help to debunk these myths and offer practical methods for overcoming sexual temptations. This book is written from a Christian perspective and assumes that you believe in and will apply the scripture to this problem.

I found the book to be very encouragin
Jul 21, 2012 rated it really liked it
I thought this was an eye-opening book and gave me pause about what our culture teaches men (young AND old). I thought it was helpful to hear it articulated by someone else those things which every man seems to deal with on a daily basis.

I especially liked the observation that every interaction with a woman that provided even the smallest bit of gratification was stealing what is rightfully your wife's. That is a great way of looking at this from the male side of things.

I realize that 98% of wo
D.A. Cairns
Jul 16, 2016 rated it it was amazing
If you are a man, read this book. If you are a woman, read this book. It will turn your thinking about male sexuality upside down, and let's face it, if you look around, this whole world has a pretty serious problem with sex. Pornography, masturbation and infidelity are all tackled head on. No excuses, no wishy washy BS post modernism.

This is an honest, and honestly great book. I'm going to read it again. Immediately. If you're a regular guy like me, who either thinks he has a problem controllin
Josh Czinger
Its a short read and is fairly no-nonsense in its approach. The goodreads description is fairly apt. The discussion around Job 31:1 is the best portion of the book. It assumes basic items have been taken care of such as salvation. This book provides a good framework for counseling and a good place to start some difficult conversations. Due to its content, I would be particular in who I recommend this book to.
Ally Publico
Jul 15, 2015 rated it it was amazing
the greatest lessons i've learned about purity came from this book; though it's meant for men to read, it's also a gem for women in this never-ending pursuit of holiness. this wonderful book sheds light in this generation of immorality and deviance towards God.
Jan 03, 2011 rated it did not like it
Shelves: theology
Guilt trip. Here, I'll save you the time and money: Girls are hot and you are a TERRIBLE person for recognizing that.
Aug 18, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
One of these writers definitely thinks frequently about what it would be like to fuck Sally Field and, you know what? Same.
Aug 11, 2020 rated it did not like it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Josh Anderson
Feb 06, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: christian-living
I commend any man or men who are standing up in the fight against our most formidable foe: sexual sin. Stephen & Fred aim to help all of us men combat our lust and temptations that have tremendous potential to drag us toward unfaithfulness, adultery and any other imaginable sexual sins. They offer stories and practical advice to help us in our daily struggles.
I have a close friend I have known to be unfaithful to his wife and recently it has come to light I had only known the tip of the
Carlo Zebedee
Oct 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: game-changer
A great book from the combination of a well-acclaimed author in Christian Marriage, Stephen Arterburn, and a person who learned from the experience, Fred Stoeker that will change your perspective about women, men that will tell you on how to be a real men by facing the battle every man: the battle of lust by including and citing Biblical principles to strengthen our foundations. Guarding our eyes, mind and also our heart are the heart of the message. Included also are the perspective and comment ...more
Jun 05, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: christian
Unfortunately, this book feels somewhat dated: not a criticism of the authors, because obviously the world and even our culture's relation to sexuality has changed a lot since they wrote it, or even since 5 years ago. But I write it here so anybody reading the book will be ready for that. But taking the advice and outlook for what is applicable for today, it is very helpful and practical, and contains some important reminders that any man should consider from time to time. It skews a bit more ha ...more
Robert Ssempande
Jun 10, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
On reading the first few chapters, I was skeptical (the book had a legalistic tone), but after deciding to read to the end I am glad I did so.

This book is helpful for any man struggling with sexual temptation of any kind. It gives tips and strategies on how to overcome sexual temptation at different stages or levels. The authors themselves have gone through various sexual temptations and so know what various men are going through. They are very candid and open about their experiences (and the e
May 23, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: faith, improvement
A book which warns against the spiritual damage of the "little" high of arousal almost every man gets through his eyes or imagination everyday in today's society. Once the damage is stopped and healed, greater intimacy with God and wife is achieved.

Good advice on protecting one's self. Missed 5 out of 5 stars due to:
1. Including too many stories which graphically will arouse most men.
2. Not addressing the subconscious' aversion to change; instead just crediting the mind's resistance to man's c
Mark Zellner
Jun 20, 2017 rated it did not like it
Crude, vulgar, grossly inappropriate. As one of my friends put it, "It is impossible to read this book without getting turned on." What is the point in trying to fight for purity while dragging your imagination through the gutter? The author means well, but intention isn't everything, as he brings up a plethora of explicit examples and imagery while speaking about the issue of temptation. I understand the need to be honest and upfront about porn, but this book fails spectacularly in helping men ...more
Alex Richmond
Jun 10, 2018 rated it liked it
I do not believe this is a bad book, my review isn’t about the message as much as some of the delivery.

Some of their statements I feel are off and incorrect, and that can turn people off from the message they are trying to send out. One is a statistic on rape, and another is how one of the men connected his marriage issues entirely on his weak nature regarding sex. These are small issues in the grand image of the book, but almost shit of off from what they had to say. Perhaps that’s on me, but I
Ana Bachand
Jul 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
A book which warns against the spiritual damage of the "little" high of arousal almost every man gets through his eyes or imagination everyday in today's society. Once the damage is stopped and healed, greater intimacy with God and wife is achieved.

Good advice on protecting one's self. Missed 5 out of 5 stars due to:
1. Including too many stories which graphically will arouse most men.
2. Not addressing the subconscious' aversion to change; instead just crediting the mind's resistance to man's car
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Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries—the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry—and is the host of the nationally syndicated New Life Live! daily radio program aired on over 180 radio stations nationwide, Sirius XM radio, and on television. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 4 million wom ...more

Other books in the series

The Every Man (1 - 10 of 16 books)
  • Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle: Honest Conversations About Sexual Integrity
  • Every Man, God's Man
  • Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin
  • Every Man's Challenge: How Far Are You Willing to Go for God?
  • Every Young Man, God's Man: Confident, Courageous, and Completely His
  • Every Man's Marriage: An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman
  • Every Young Man's Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation
  • Every Single Man's Battle
  • Every Day for Every Man: 365 Readings for Those Engaged in the Battle
  • Every Young Woman's Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World

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“Holiness is not some nebulous thing. It’s a series of right choices. You needn’t wait for some holy cloud to form around you. You’ll be holy when you choose not to sin. You’re already free from the power of sexual immorality; you are not yet free from the habit of sexual immorality, until you choose to be—until you say, “That’s enough! I’m choosing to live purely!” 0 likes
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