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329 pages, Hardcover
First published August 4, 2020
“You do this a lot?”
“It’s kind of my special gift.”
I swallow. “Dying.”
They say hunting monsters will turn you into one. That isn’t what’s happening now. Sometimes to kill a dragon, you have to remember that you breathe fire too. This isn’t a becoming; it’s a revealing. I’ve been a monster all along.
It is only one world in infinite universes where this impossible happiness exists, but that is what makes it so valuable.
This book is for you if… your own imagination and creativity can make up for a lack of things-that-are-spelled-out-explicitly.
‘Why have I survived? Because I am a creature more devious than all the other mes put together. Because I saw myself bleeding out and instead of checking for a pulse, I began collecting her things. I survive the desert like a coyote survives, like all tricksters do.’
...human beings are unknowable. You can never know a single person fully, not even yourself. Even if you think you know yourself in your safe glass castle, you don't know yourself in the dirt. Even if you hustle and make it in the rough, you have no idea if you would thrive or die in the light of real riches, if your cleverness would outlive your desperation.
“Luck, I guess,” I say, because the first thing a monster learns is when to lie.
“someone found me and thought that I was worth something.”
“I don’t think she’ll miss me, that’s too limited a way of thinking. But she makes me feel like she’s noticed me and I’m grateful for that too.”
“The universe erases me, but it also remakes me again and again, so there must be something worthwhile in this image. ”