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Take the Bully by the Horns: Stop Unethical, Uncooperative, or Unpleasant People from Running and Ruining Your Life

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3.92  ·  Rating details ·  76 ratings  ·  14 reviews
How often have you wished you knew how to defuse the difficult people who wreak havoc on your life? Whether it's a neighbor who keeps disturbing your peace, an employer who manipulates you into unpaid overtime, a spouse who criticizes and controls your every move, a colleague who uses scare tactics to intimidate you, or a student who teases your child without mercy, Take ...more
Paperback, 320 pages
Published September 9th 2003 by St. Martin's Griffin (first published 2002)
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Average rating 3.92  · 
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 ·  76 ratings  ·  14 reviews


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Amy
Mar 13, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction
Excellent book - it made me realize a simple fact that I’d been completely overlooking, that not everyone wants to find a solution which makes everyone happy. Some people just want their way and nothing else. So successful communication with these people follows a different set of rules. That realization saves a LOT of time (and peace of mind)!
Sita
Jun 29, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: nonfiction
The layout of the book makes reading very choppy and it doesn't flow well. Chapters are broken down into sections with headings, but there are literally quotes all over the place, which I found distracting and broke up my reading flow. This offered some good advice for dealing with bullies, but I think how the book was laid out makes it hard to read. I wanted less quotes/sayings, and less stories/examples and more basic and clear-cut tools for dealing with bullies. The author makes good points, ...more
Liz
Nov 02, 2017 rated it really liked it
Can be a bit repetitive but it has many things i like: anecdotes to make a point, worksheets to determine action steps, chapters about different kinds of bullying, and a bibliography or resources at the end. I marked many pages I could return to when I need a reminder of what to do in a given situation. And the book increased my self confidence!
Vivian Nguyen
Mar 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Another great book by Sam Horn! I am learning so much. In fact, I am using this book to teach a class on "How to Deal with Bullies".
Douglas Lord
Oct 31, 2015 rated it did not like it
"Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, genders, ages and professions," notes Horn (Tongue Fu!: How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict). True enough, but Horn's inconsistent writing and lack of useful tools drain this book of any worth. Confusingly titled chapters--"Depend on the Kinkiness of Strangers," for example, concerns personal safety and self-defense--render the table of contents useless. Good, albeit brief, chapters on school-yard bullies and using humor to defuse tension ...more
Qu
Apr 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: health
“Giving bullies empathetic attention gives them an undeserved ‘bully pulpit’ “(page 28)

“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears-by listening to them.” – Dean Rusk

“Dr. Jacob Azerrad […] Americans attend more to bad behaviour than to good behaviour.”(28)

“Getting into a negotiation with a bully and hoping he’ll be ethical because you’re being
ethical…is like getting into a ring with a bull and hoping he won’t charge because you’re a vegetarian.”(40)

“When dealing with bullies, we
...more
Arial Burnz
Mar 27, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you've ever had VERY difficult people to deal with in your life, this book will show you how to deal with them effectively. I learned the hard way how to deal with bullies and everything I read in Ms. Horn's book confirmed I learned it right.

I highly recommend this book if you have a bully in your life OR if you're not sure and you want to find out. She helps you identify what bullies do, why they do what they do, and how to adjust your behavior to get them off your back.

Though her approach
...more
Carole P. Roman
Feb 05, 2014 rated it really liked it
Sometimes helpful, other times out right dangerous, this is an interesting book packed with tons of information on both bullies and their victims. Horn really knows this subject inside and out, and leaves no situation uncovered. He describes what motivates a bully, and then provides different scenarios to implement his cures. While some of it was quite reasonable and sound, other times, one needs to have his head examined if they follow his advice. He has quotes by the boatload, that while ...more
T.
Dec 27, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2012, non-fiction
Don't go into this with a specific problem in mind. Or do, and be surprised to realize it could honestly be worse. At least in my case.

If you want a good "glance over" of various strategies to deal with difficult people in your life from the average annoyance to the stalker to the abuser, this book covers it. It also has a chapter about bullies at school, although I'm not sure the advice in there would help. It is a theory, not actually tested.

Some of it is theory and some of it provides good
...more
Angela
Book is written for adults, but copious ideas are adaptable for all ages. Humorous and well organized, there is a shaded section listing the highlights and strategies listed in each chapter with clear action examples of things to say (and NOT)to defuse a potential situation.
Corinna
Oct 14, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: i-own
Fantastic read. It's not specifically directed to any one occupation or people type, but beneficial for them all. Definitely one all nurse leaders should have in their office to help those experiencing lateral violence and the "eating-their-young" phenomenon.
S.
Oct 10, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: safety, self-help
Very good read. Gives excellent pointers on how to deal with nasty people.
Angela
An adult approach to setting appropriate limits.
Phyllis
May 05, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Great advice of anyone dealing with an adult bully.
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