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Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship

3.75  ·  Rating details ·  15,658 ratings  ·  475 reviews
Purpose Driven Romance

The last thing singles want is more rules. But if you're looking for an intentional, God-pleasing game plan for finding a future spouse, Joshua Harris delivers an appealing one. A compelling new foreword, an all-new "8 Great Courtship Conversations" section, and updated material throughout makes this five-year revision of the original Boy Meets Girl a
Paperback, 227 pages
Published July 26th 2005 by Multnomah Books (first published January 1st 2000)
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Average rating 3.75  · 
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 ·  15,658 ratings  ·  475 reviews

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Natalie Vellacott
Jan 25, 2018 rated it it was amazing
"I believe that getting our romantic relationships right as Christians means seeing God's glory as the ultimate purpose of any relationship."

I was aware of the bestseller I Kissed Dating Goodbye although I haven't read it. I assumed it would be full of emotional sentimentality or love language theology as so many Christian books about relationships seem to be. I picked up this, the sequel, just because it was cheap, and to see what all the fuss was about...

Harris refers back to the unexpecte
Dec 14, 2011 rated it really liked it
Let me say up front that I enjoyed this book more than Joshua Harris' first book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Not that that book was a dud or anything, but Boy Meets Girl has Harris in the now-married-and-able-to-look-back-on-courting role. This made all the difference. The thing that I appreciated most about this book was the constant focus on the heart. So many in the church are consumed with rules for the sake of rules. Rules are necessary and good, but only when they flow out of a heart that de ...more
Sep 12, 2010 rated it it was ok
I love Jesus. I believe the Bible to be authoritative and God-breathed. That being said, I struggle with the idea that a 25-year-old who is 2 years into marriage has "figured out" how romantic relationship-building should look with a few carefully-selected verses and a plethora of fairy-tale-esque relationship stories.

(side note: I'm tired of seeing Song of Solomon 8:4 used to create any sort of defense of how modern relationships should look. It was written by Solomon to express affection for o
Aug 04, 2020 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Excellent if you're an obedient Christian. Me, I came to my Christianity late in the game, well into my first marriage, and I'm not ready to add another layer of struggle to my faith, I suppose.
carolyn radach
Jan 22, 2009 rated it really liked it
A few years ago I read his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which was really helpful for my new outlook on relationships. This one was just as insightful and helpful for me. See, as a young child, I always held to a pretty traditional outlook on what boys should do and what girls should do. Dads work and Moms stay home. Boys do the pursuing and girls do the waiting. This outlook wasn't particularly enforced by anything in my family, that I can recall, it's just what always seemed like the right thi ...more
Emmaline Soken-Huberty
Sep 26, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: spiritual
Not A Fan

Let me just begin by saying I'm biased. I have a problem with Josh Harris and I have for some time. I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye when I was in middle school and it scared me to death. It seems to me that his writing is based on fear and it creates this mindset of absolute repression and ignoring the fact that humans are sexual creatures. I am not reviewing I Kissed Dating Goodbye, but this was the foundation on which I read Boy Meets Girl.

First off, I don't think it's smart to date
Apr 30, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

The book wasn't a 'self-help to make our relationship long lasting' instead, it was a about trusting God on our relationship. Setting Him on the center of our every relationship. The book simply hit me hardcore.

Mr. Harris will always amaze me. His faith in Jesus Christ. Here, I realized & felt deeply how He sacrificed his only son
Brittany Ketter
May 03, 2012 rated it really liked it
Boy Meets Girl: That is the beginning of what can be a journey of something very beautiful, or something very disastrous. These days our culture has turned dating into a game. It is no longer about purposefully getting to know someone that you have intentions of marrying, but it is all about living in the moment, satisfying your desires and longings for a relationship and it is also about the rush of emotions that can come with it. This is much of what Joshua Harris wrote in his first book: I Ki ...more
Oct 25, 2011 rated it liked it
Shelves: spiritual
I am loooooooooving this book! I like practicals and Joshua Harris offers that to his readers. Being a college student trying to have a relationship GOD'S WAY isn't the most popular concept. As a result, I have LOADS of questions, but not many people who can give me biblical/spiritual answers. Not only that, but I wasn't always a Christian, so I definitely don't know what I'm doing in this "new" area! lol

I just started dating and my biggest prayers are to do this God's way, NOT to be a stumbling
Jun 29, 2016 rated it really liked it
this book was encouraging and made me think. maybe 3.5 stars. it seems that a lot of people are grumpy at Josh Harris for being legalistic; this is the first book I've read by him, but his approach seemed to be humble and God-centered, or that was the goal.
seemed like a gracious, human attempt to seek out how to glorify God in relationships.
people should not be so grumpy.
Mar 02, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Balanced, helpful, and focused on principles instead of formulas. I was both encouraged and convicted by reading it.
May 16, 2017 rated it did not like it
Shelves: disliked, non-fiction
The author has since apologized for this book and its prequel due to the damaging teaching that has affected an entire generation. So there's that.
Joshua Harris wrote this book in an engaging style. He includes his and his wife Shannon's story, as well as other people's relationships, as examples throughout this story. I found myself actively involved in the book, occasionally nodding and murmuring an "exactly" or "I know how that goes" to myself as the chapters unfolded. I underlined and made note on several sections in this book and could hardly put it down. I highly recommend this book for people seeking a more meaningful relationship t ...more
Jennifer Tse
Jan 15, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: christianity
Here are some hints from the book of what I like the most!

I really like their wisdom about the Art of Skillful Romance:
1) Romance says "I want it now!" Wisdom urges patience.
2) Romance says, "This is what I want and it's good for me." Wisdom leads us to consider what's best for the other person.
3) Romance says, "Enjoy the fantasy." Wisdom calls us to base our emotions and perceptions in reality.

Most people tell us to look at his appearance & personality, but Joshua recommends these qualities/cha
May 23, 2011 rated it did not like it
So he kissed dating goodbye only to court this shannon woman some years later.....


Im inwardly gagging....

Jordy Leigh
Sep 26, 2017 rated it really liked it
Reviewing a book is a daunting task when you look back on the journey and feel like it was so full! What I'm about to say is not at all comprehensive. Nevertheless -

4/5 stars for Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris. According to the Goodreads star system, that means "I really liked it." It's a self-help book about courtship that - in its own words - is to "celebrate God's way in romance." Lest that description give you the idea that it's nothing but pages of praise for courtship, I would add that i
Apr 16, 2012 rated it it was ok
While popular culture's take on dating needs a good Christian criteria and a strong alternative, Ithis book's model is sufficiently nuanced and fails to understand that more is accomplished in dating than finding a partner. I found parts of this book unrealistic, with a number of romantic stories of successful courtship which are almost fairytale in nature. I feel like the author fails to recognize that most true fairy-tales are often filled with heart break, struggles, and pain. I agree with th ...more
Karen Wong
Aug 24, 2009 rated it liked it
or a while I was very curious to read this book Boy Meets Girl, which is the sequel to I Kissed Dating Goodbye. While I kissed Dating Goodbye gives us a radical idea of abstaining from any dating relationship, Boy Meets Girl answers the question of what to do when you have met the right person to marry: courtship. Harris gives in this book an honest look to relationship and its purpose. He gives his story on how he met his wife Shannon, courted, engaged, and married-- all to the glory of God. He ...more
Dec 09, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-in-2013
This was the first book I read by Joshua Harris, and I am definitely looking forward to reading more! I do kind of feel like I will be reading his books backwards, and I might recommend reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye before this book. I will certainly be reading this book again when/if I enter into a courtship relationship with a young man. I appreciated how this book not only focused on how a couple should interact as they enter this phase of their relationship, but also emphasized the importa ...more
Nov 08, 2010 rated it really liked it
This book is well-written with realistic stories and real-life examples. Joshua uses scripture extensively in this book, giving the sense that this is not just stuff he thought up but that it has been revealed to him in God's word.
He also encourages readers not to take everything as set-in-stone truths and steps to follow to have the perfect courtship. He states that every couple's story is different; he is not saying that everything must be done the way he and his wife did it.
I don't agree with
Mar 18, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Teens
Recommended to Kendra by: Variety of People
This has been an open topic in our family since I was about eleven. Partially because I have an older sister, but also because it's something my parents value (healthy boy-girls friendship/ relationships).
The book itself is very good! I definitaly don't argue with that. I would recomend it to any teenager, especailly those who value healthy boy-girl friendships:)
Mar 07, 2009 rated it did not like it
Due to the horrendously old-fashioned sexism, I could barely bring myself to even read the back synopsis of another Joshua Harris book. I'm one for gender diversity, domesticity and chastity - though I don't believe that God expects us to live in the stone age.
Jan 03, 2013 rated it did not like it
I guess he had to come up with something, considering he met a girl and he wasn't into not seeing each other until the wedding day. What do you call dating when it's dressed up in a tuxedo? You got it - courting. Bleh.
Nov 04, 2019 rated it did not like it
This was terrible. I have a lot more thoughts on it than just "UGH BAD" but wow. This was painful to read.
Aug 13, 2019 rated it liked it
It's been a few years since I read this book. When I read it initially I remember thinking it was BRILLIANT and that I needed to keep it so I could work through it again when I started dating. So it's sat untouched on my shelf through two decluttering sprees, where I look at it and think, "I should re-read that and see if I still want it.". But DID I re-read it then? No. No, it took the author's renouncement of his Christian faith & announcement of his divorce to motivate my gossipy little heart ...more
Monique S. (The Ginger Librarian)
This author recently announced that he has lost his faith in Jesus and is no longer a Christian. Such sad news. 😔 I pray that God continues to pursue him and speak to his heart. My opinions of his books have changed however... I no longer feel I can trust his advice on relationships or faith, when he abandoned both his marriage and his faith... and he is very openly claiming that in doing this, he feels "very much alive, and awake, and surprisingly hopeful", which is very concerning. I hope and ...more
Jan 17, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I enjoyed reading this book because even though most aspects of this book didn't really apply to me, it made me think about how I want to act in my life.

I know that God knows who my future spouse is and all that I need to do is trust in him and be patient.

This book made me want to follow God whole-heartedly and live my life purely and to the limit! :D

I have decided not to date because, as Joshua Harris states in this book, you're giving part of your heart away to someone who you barely even know
Jul 28, 2011 added it
This book was recommended to me by my youth pastor. I was familiar with Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" but I didn't know he wrote a book on courtship. I'm so glad he did! It has given me a lot of guidance and practical steps to take when considering courtship. I love how his focus is on glorifying God. Will this relationship bring Him glory? That's the most important thing. The chapter on the Cross impacted me greatly as well. He has an accurate view of its justifying power. I like how ...more
Mimi Watson
Sep 05, 2012 rated it really liked it
Because of "I kissed dating goodbye" that my friend lent to me I purchased this book after. Yes, it worth the price. After reading this book- I evaluate myself what I want to the person I am going to marry. It also, strengthen my faith to believe that He has someone prepared for me.

Again, I didn't meet/know my hubby yet. But that time, I started doing my part. Aside from praying daily. I also, started writing letters to him almost every week as like we've known each other and saying praying to
Aug 30, 2013 rated it liked it
In typical Harris style Josh uses the power of the pen to reveal the power of The Word in a way that will delight and convict his readers. The beauty of the vision for courtship that Josh puts forth is that it can look different for every couple because every couple is different. He includes several successful courtship stories, including his own, for his readers. What is a "successful courtship?" Josh describes it this way: "A successful courtship is one in which two people treat each other wit ...more
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Joshua Harris lives outside Washington, D.C., in Gaithersburg, Maryland, where he's a pastor at Covenant Life Church. His greatest passion is preaching the gospel and calling his generation to wholehearted devotion to God. Each January he leads a national conference for singles called New Attitude.

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“Living to glorify God means doing everything...
for Him,
His way,
to point to His greatness
and to reflect His goodness.”
“Terms don't define our lives; our lives define our terms.” 68 likes
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