Splash Me

Fairytale Remixes #1

by Madame de Boudoir, Laura Lovely

What’s your fantasy? One that you never told anyone?” he asks.

Kevin and I have had five dates—and sex twice. He is big-hearted and big-boned, with a slightly ragged haircut and a laugh that reminds me of the luckdragon in The Neverending Story. I like him so much, even though he’s a total dweeb.

I stare at the dirty text for one minute. Then two.

My fantasy? I take a swig of wine. Should I cop out? Make a joke about a naughty nurse? Or do I risk being completely honest…

If I tell him the truth, I think he would make it good.

I know he’ll make it good. I take a deep breath—I’m all in.

I text back, “Have you seen the movie Splash?”
~
Madame de Boudoir’s Filthy Fairytales are short erotic romance standalones, inspired by fairytales, mythology and pop culture.

Genres: Novella, Romance, Fiction, Smut, Contemporary Romance, Contemporary, Short Stories

32 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 30, 2019

About the author

Madame de Boudoir also writes as Laura Lovely.

She is the author of award-winning steamy paranormal romances, usually featuring mermaids and mermen. She also writes short contemporary romances inspired by fairytales, mythology and pop culture.

For updates, giveaways and behind the scenes, please visit lauralovelybooks.com/newsletter

The Sea of Love Series is a paranormal historical fantasy series of romances featuring daring mermaids, passionate mermen and the humans who have more than met their match.

Book 1: KING OF THE SEA
Book 1.5: PRINCESS OF THE SEA
Book 2: MAVERICK OF THE SEA
Book 3: REBEL OF THE SEA

FAIRYTALE REMIXES are short, hot-n-humorous standalones inspired by fairytales, mythology and pop culture.

SPLASH ME (May 2019)
PUMPKIN POUNDER (October 2019)

Reviews

[tane'a · Rating 4 out of 5]

wild but still slayed tbh💀

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

what did I just read ?

This was a book I guess… I will say, it was funny and random. I just want to watch the movie Splash so I can understand the MC more.

[Leigh Kramer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m here for boyfriends who make their girlfriend’s Splash fantasies come true! What a hot short story.

Characters: Kevin is a white man with a beer belly who co-owns a video animation company. The anonymous FMC works in corporate sales.

Content notes: on page sex, mermaid role play, alcohol, ableist language, Harry Potter reference

[Tamara Lush · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this sweet, funny, and scorchingly hot short story! I've never before had a mermaid fantasy, but I do now...Can't wait to read more from this author!

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5*
Ummm... Pretty sure mermaid porn isn't something that was ever on my radar, but I'm not mad about it. That is, if it was Kevin bringing my fantasy to life.
I could do without April, she almost lost me on page 1 when she called Kevin a dweeb, but I was bored at work so I kept reading. I appreciate the way Kevin went above and beyond to bring her fantasy to life, not quite she deserves him.

[Joshua Gage · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is SO FUCKING HOT!!! Like seriously. There's no need for Viagra when one has Laura Lovely to read. Holy cow.

First off, the idea of a heroine with such fun, erotic, role play fantasies is SO SEXY. Then, the idea of a more beta male who is caring and wants to fulfill said fantasies is really sweet. The idea of a burly alpha works for some, but the idea that Ms. Lovely is tapping into other romance types is really fun.

Then there's some really sexy dirty talk. The sex is pretty vanilla, but it's hot, and the role play plus dirty talk makes it totally work.

This is a quick, hot romance, and one that all readers will enjoy.

[LiteraryFairy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was entirely my fault for not double checking the synopsis. I was expecting mermaid smut or some short steamy sex with a sprinkle of fantasy. A dazzle of magical pussoir.

What I got instead was a woman who had a very VERY detailed fantasy about being fucked in a fishtail by this man she’s been dating.
Now I gotta give it up to my man because he listened to her fantasy. Took notes,, memorized the lines from the movie, bought and prepared the set up from the movie, and rocked her world. I love a man who goes above and beyond.

BUT I-
I do not think that this book is for me.

From the overly detailed message about how she was always curious to see how Tom Hanks would fuck the mermaid after getting caught in the bath tub to the way they were talking. I just couldn’t help but cringe, laugh, and cry.

SLIGHT SPOILER BELOW (it’s a short story so nothing really happens but if you don’t wanna be spoiled please look away……but also lol please read this)

.

.

.

“What if he slid his dick along her slit until she couldn’t stand it and pushed him inside her? She’s a mermaid, so she probably has like two clits or something magical”

But WAIT WAIT! There’s more:

My man Kevin goes all in and starts off reenacting the movie and he tells her to say her name in “her language”
Madison is a mermaid who makes high pitched dolphin squeals. So you guessed right.

We start off this sexy role playing encounter by her squealing like a dolphin.

And Kevin, the amazing hunk of seduction, responds:

“Kevin growls in my ear, “So fuckin’ hot”

🙂. You know idk what my final rating is but I definitely wanted my money back. I loved the fact that they were a couple who were open and wanted to try and re enact her fantasy and he went above and beyond for her. I also love me some monster smut so I don’t believe this particular fantasy was why I disliked this so much. I think if it was an actual mermaid then I could’ve been into it. I just couldn’t see myself self inserting into a character that was wearing a wetsuit/mermaid suit and then getting fucked with it half way off.

[Joshua Gage · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this the day I received it. It was so good I had to write the author directly and tell her.

So, “Splash Me” is the original tale. It’s a quick story about lust, fantasies, role play, etc. The sex is pretty vanilla, but hot, and the dirty talk plus the role play is awesome!

“Love in Lockdown” is the bonus scene for the charity. First off, any author who writes extra stuff for charity is awesome and deserves props. But the scene, with more role play and dirty talk, is really, really hot. Maybe over too quickly, but still a really sexy scene that ends with the promise for more to come.

I can’t wait to read Laura Lovely’s next book.

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

A super cute and sexy short (two chapters) that is exactly what the description says. I found myself wanting more (as I usually do for shorts such as this) but I loved every second of it.

[alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was basically about a woman living out her fantasy of having sex as a mermaid, inspired by the movie Splash 😂 it was strange but pretty entertaining lol

[Keeshell · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not for me…for someone…..not me.

[Busy_beereader · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 I lost at the dolphin sound…. The smut was nice, but DEAR LORD 😂
I had fun though.

[Cadence Boudreaux · Rating 1 out of 5]

where’s that meme of the one horrified yarn dude turning around

someone said “cute mermaid romance” when they recommended this to me … oh i was deceived

[Paige Langham]

wtf was this 🤣

[Jenna ♡ (jennascornerrr) · Rating 3 out of 5]

no words besides: mermaids??!?!

[Kimberlea · Rating 1 out of 5]

To meet my reading goal, I just read a mermaid romance inspired by a movie I have never seen which stars Tom Hanks. None of this makes sense.

I achieved my goal, but at great cost.

[Amy Monteith]

Girl what the fuck did I just read
I’m in a reading slump so trying to read short books to get back into reading
I should have read the blurb for this one

[Ishman Laghari · Rating 1 out of 5]

Um..ok

[Lillian Cornwell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was looking for a really short book to help me work towards my reading goal, and this book was very Interesting. That's all I have to say. It served its purpose, but If you're asking me what it's about, I couldn't tell you.

[Verka Nep]

Hahah, interesting I guess 🤔🤭

[Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quick read! Thought I’d read something out of my comfort zone. If you like “Splash” you’ll enjoy this.

[Harper Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love short stories, I write short stories. With the perfect delivery they can be completely satisfying and this was a perfectly satisfying erotic comedy! I laughed out loud, but I also couldn’t stop smiling because I adore Splash. It has to be one of my top ten favorite movies, and Splash Me made me love it just a little bit more. *insert heart eyes emoji*

So much fun!

[Mayumi Shimose Poe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I edit for Madame de Boudoir, but it says something that I read Splash Me upward of five times during editing and have still reached for it multiple times afterward for, ahem, a pleasure read. In her acknowledgements, the author writes, “your freak flag shall set you free” and it couldn’t be truer or more understandable than after you’ve finished this steamy short.

[Hayley Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whhhhhhoooaaaa

Googles mermaid fins .....

What is this sorcery of smutty genius-ness?!

Short read but delivers on all fronts! I also love that the main guy is not some skinny muscular guy. He’s just your standard ol’ guy who was wanting to please his woman and I love that.

[|Stephanie| · Rating 3 out of 5]

This short novella (22 pages) was silly and very steamy! As a fan of the movie ‘Splash’ I giggled at the movie references and how the heroine’s fantasy played out. This was nothing to write home about but it was fun and sometimes that’s just what you need. 3.5 Stars!

[Lynn Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25 stars 🌟 I read the words mermaid vagina and mermaid clit and now I don't know how to feel. 😭 Kevin was such a good sport for going along with the role play. The dolphin sounds made me laugh so much I cried.

[Mauro]

This was actually only 20 pages even though KU days 32; there's a preview for a different book at the end. And, total honesty, I skimmed the entire thing. Definitely not my type of content, not in any way.

[Rebekah · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is foul

I was trying to meet my book goal of 100 books. I read somewhere that this was 32 pages. I should know better. How is it possible to DNF 32 pages? Well, it is....I can't recommend this one at all.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know what to say about this except that it was ok. It wasn't the best, but it was far better then some fanfiction I've sadly come across. The cover art is good for what it is as well, if that matters.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Want Fun and Steamy and Quick?

This short story is just perfect! Love the quirky characters, the random funnies, and the spot-on fulfillment of a sweet and sexy fantasy.