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Eight Kinky Nights
Sometimes the perfect Chanukah gift can change everything.
Newly divorced stone butch Jordan moves into her friend Leah’s spare room, ready, at 49, to take on a new job and finally explore kink and polyamory. But moving to NYC during the holidays sends grief crashing through her, and Jordan realizes that when she isn’t solely focused on caring for others, her own feelings are unavoidable. Including her feelings for Leah.
51 year old queer femme Leah, an experienced submissive kink educator who owns a sex shop, has recently come to terms with being gray ace and is trying to rework her life and relationships to honor that.
Leah has a brainstorm to help them both: she offers Jordan eight kink lessons, one for each night of Chanukah, to help Jordan find her feet as a novice dominant, and to create a structured space where Leah can work on more deeply honoring her own consent, now that she knows she’s gray ace.
She’d planned to keep it casual, but instead the experience opens cracks in the armor Leah’s been using to keep people at a distance and keep herself safe. Now she needs to grapple with the trauma that’s been impacting her life for years.
Can these two autistic queers find ways to cope with the changes they are making in their lives and support each other, as they build something new they hadn’t thought was possible?
This kinky polyamorous Chanukah f/f romance includes a friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, kink lessons, seasoned romance and getting your groove back tropes, and polyamorous, gray ace, pansexual, Jewish, fat, autistic, disabled, arthritis, PTSD and depression representation.
Newly divorced stone butch Jordan moves into her friend Leah’s spare room, ready, at 49, to take on a new job and finally explore kink and polyamory. But moving to NYC during the holidays sends grief crashing through her, and Jordan realizes that when she isn’t solely focused on caring for others, her own feelings are unavoidable. Including her feelings for Leah.
51 year old queer femme Leah, an experienced submissive kink educator who owns a sex shop, has recently come to terms with being gray ace and is trying to rework her life and relationships to honor that.
Leah has a brainstorm to help them both: she offers Jordan eight kink lessons, one for each night of Chanukah, to help Jordan find her feet as a novice dominant, and to create a structured space where Leah can work on more deeply honoring her own consent, now that she knows she’s gray ace.
She’d planned to keep it casual, but instead the experience opens cracks in the armor Leah’s been using to keep people at a distance and keep herself safe. Now she needs to grapple with the trauma that’s been impacting her life for years.
Can these two autistic queers find ways to cope with the changes they are making in their lives and support each other, as they build something new they hadn’t thought was possible?
This kinky polyamorous Chanukah f/f romance includes a friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, kink lessons, seasoned romance and getting your groove back tropes, and polyamorous, gray ace, pansexual, Jewish, fat, autistic, disabled, arthritis, PTSD and depression representation.
420 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 16, 2019
About the author
Xan West
49 books348 followersXan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, an autistic queer fat Jewish genderqueer writer and community activist with multiple disabilities who spends a lot of time on Twitter.
Xan's erotica has been published widely, including in the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Their work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after”, and “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years”.
Xan’s story “First Time Since”, won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Their recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, is out from Go Deeper Press, and has been described by M. Christian as “a book that changes what erotica can and should be.”
Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing at https://xanwest.wordpress. com/.
Xan's erotica has been published widely, including in the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Their work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after”, and “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years”.
Xan’s story “First Time Since”, won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Their recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, is out from Go Deeper Press, and has been described by M. Christian as “a book that changes what erotica can and should be.”
Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing at https://xanwest.wordpress. com/.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
April 2, 2020
Ooooh this was so good.
I'd actually been looking for, and wanting, a book that would share information with me on how another autistic person might experience their submission in D/s. This was for two reasons: I'd been getting frustrated by seeing no other narratives quite like mine in that particular way, but also because I knew that reading someone else's words would help me to find the words to express my own experience.
For some reason, I felt as though I would find this want met in a nonfiction book, if I found it at all.
I was offered an ARC of this novel prior to release day from one of my favourite authors. I knew they were autistic, of course (they are very public about that), but somehow it didn't occur to me that this particular novel would be the book I'd been seeking for!
Honestly, the book is incredibly valuable. A lot of the conversations Leah and Jordan have are from a place of long standing best friends. They already know how to converse with each other. They know and have experienced meltdowns and panic attacks and other things in the length of their relationship. This is most definitely a friends to lovers romance, but a key difference in this particular novel is that both main characters are autistic.
I will say that the novel is sometimes difficult to read because of how relatable the characters were, and how deeply and specifically Corey goes into describing their experiences of the world (sometimes being read by me when I had experienced a similar thing that day or the day previous) but it never made me consider putting the book down. The most that happened was that I would put it down for a day or so, or maybe just read a bit more slowly.
Another favourite thing of mine in this book, which is also a staple of Corey's books in general, is the focus on the Dominant's consent. In this book, Jordan's consent is no less important than Leah's at any point of negotiations, which are ongoing throughout the novel. I love love love that.
On the polyamorous aspects of this novel, I really loved that around the main romantic thread of Jordan and Leah, there was also the beginnings of other relationships forming between Leah and Ellie, as well as between Jordan and Shiloh. At no point did these other relationships take away from anything, and it was just gorgeous to see them put on the page as though it was a totally normal thing seen in fiction.
I often dislike epilogues set later, but in this case, I would really have loved to see the follow Chanukah between Leah and Jordan.
I'd actually been looking for, and wanting, a book that would share information with me on how another autistic person might experience their submission in D/s. This was for two reasons: I'd been getting frustrated by seeing no other narratives quite like mine in that particular way, but also because I knew that reading someone else's words would help me to find the words to express my own experience.
For some reason, I felt as though I would find this want met in a nonfiction book, if I found it at all.
I was offered an ARC of this novel prior to release day from one of my favourite authors. I knew they were autistic, of course (they are very public about that), but somehow it didn't occur to me that this particular novel would be the book I'd been seeking for!
Honestly, the book is incredibly valuable. A lot of the conversations Leah and Jordan have are from a place of long standing best friends. They already know how to converse with each other. They know and have experienced meltdowns and panic attacks and other things in the length of their relationship. This is most definitely a friends to lovers romance, but a key difference in this particular novel is that both main characters are autistic.
I will say that the novel is sometimes difficult to read because of how relatable the characters were, and how deeply and specifically Corey goes into describing their experiences of the world (sometimes being read by me when I had experienced a similar thing that day or the day previous) but it never made me consider putting the book down. The most that happened was that I would put it down for a day or so, or maybe just read a bit more slowly.
Another favourite thing of mine in this book, which is also a staple of Corey's books in general, is the focus on the Dominant's consent. In this book, Jordan's consent is no less important than Leah's at any point of negotiations, which are ongoing throughout the novel. I love love love that.
On the polyamorous aspects of this novel, I really loved that around the main romantic thread of Jordan and Leah, there was also the beginnings of other relationships forming between Leah and Ellie, as well as between Jordan and Shiloh. At no point did these other relationships take away from anything, and it was just gorgeous to see them put on the page as though it was a totally normal thing seen in fiction.
I often dislike epilogues set later, but in this case, I would really have loved to see the follow Chanukah between Leah and Jordan.
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December 19, 2019Hi, I'm the author! I consulted with the cover artist yesterday & I'm really excited for this cover!
Here are the content warnings for the book:
https://xanwest.wordpress.com/eight-k...
Here are the content warnings for the book:
https://xanwest.wordpress.com/eight-k...
June 15, 2020
Note to self: when in need of comfort, pick up a Xan West book. Honestly, these books feel like such a warm hug, and it's very clear that Xan West goes out of their way to create a safe space within them.
This was a fairly slow book, and it took me a while to read it, but there was also so much to love about it. First of all, it had my favourite trope ever: friends to lovers. And these women were not just friends, they had been friends for around 30 years. Which meant that they were already really close and knew each other really well, and it was amazing to see their relationship developing.
Something else I really loved is once again the autism rep. Xan West's books just have such amazing autism rep, and it again made me very happy to see.
I personally hardly know anything about kink, but I feel like I've learned a lot from this book, because it was set up as introducing a new dominant to kink and the kink community. So it was both a book I could really see myself in and a book that helped me learn about people very different from me - I call that a win!
This was a fairly slow book, and it took me a while to read it, but there was also so much to love about it. First of all, it had my favourite trope ever: friends to lovers. And these women were not just friends, they had been friends for around 30 years. Which meant that they were already really close and knew each other really well, and it was amazing to see their relationship developing.
Something else I really loved is once again the autism rep. Xan West's books just have such amazing autism rep, and it again made me very happy to see.
I personally hardly know anything about kink, but I feel like I've learned a lot from this book, because it was set up as introducing a new dominant to kink and the kink community. So it was both a book I could really see myself in and a book that helped me learn about people very different from me - I call that a win!
May 31, 2021
this novel is a treasure & a keystone in xan west's legacy. two fat autistic best friends who fall in love as the femme kink educator teaches the butch novice dom about D/s & scening, featuring delicious food descriptions, explorations of community responsibility for harm, neurodivergent people communicating skilfully in the ways that work, regular spoons-counting & redistributing, and deep, wide chosen family bonds. the femme character is exploring grey/ace spectrum stuff and this novel includes lots of kink that is not sexual.
the only bad thing about this book is that every time i read it i cry because xan died in august and we will never get to read another story or book from them again.
the only bad thing about this book is that every time i read it i cry because xan died in august and we will never get to read another story or book from them again.
December 24, 2021
Wooooow. What an experience.
This was hard to get through for personal reasons, but also held such loving space for autistic kinky queers with chronic pain, and it's already affecting how I manage my own life in positive ways.
This was hard to get through for personal reasons, but also held such loving space for autistic kinky queers with chronic pain, and it's already affecting how I manage my own life in positive ways.
December 23, 2019
This book was fabulous and very emotional. It's a friends-to-lovers/kink/Hanukkah romance but so many more, like a million times over. Jordan and Leah have been friends for like 30 years, best friends really but they are temporarily living together after years of being apart, and each in many ways starting over.
For Jordan it's about a new city and recovering for a marriage that didn't work-out, while Leah seems more settled and sure, having a friends and a two great jobs (a sex shop owner and kink educator, but is actually holding on to a lot of old trauma without knowing it.
What starts as a way for Jordan to explore kink with a trusted friend who is also autistic, and culturally similar so communicates in similar ways becomes something more for both of them. During Hanukkah which corresponds with Jordan's father's Yahrzeit--death anniversary--it's a thing for us, the two, especially Leah work through a lot of problems from the past and learn to be hopeful for the future while trusting each other to love and become more. And it's lovely and meaningful.
Jordan and Leah are so careful with each other (though not always careful with themselves, especially Leah). They model such good communication (I especially love the fact that they showed you could communicate different ways and no one way works for everyone and that could be negotiated as well) and responsible habits and had such respect for each other and themselves, it was just wonderful to watch and read.
They had a fabulous community of found family (though that included Jordan's sister Erica, when in town, so not completely found--found and kept) and the world they inhabited was such a wonderful place. The book has some very sexy kink scenes but it still feels like a lovely, warm, soft blanket and is such a comforting read.
For Jordan it's about a new city and recovering for a marriage that didn't work-out, while Leah seems more settled and sure, having a friends and a two great jobs (a sex shop owner and kink educator, but is actually holding on to a lot of old trauma without knowing it.
What starts as a way for Jordan to explore kink with a trusted friend who is also autistic, and culturally similar so communicates in similar ways becomes something more for both of them. During Hanukkah which corresponds with Jordan's father's Yahrzeit--death anniversary--it's a thing for us, the two, especially Leah work through a lot of problems from the past and learn to be hopeful for the future while trusting each other to love and become more. And it's lovely and meaningful.
Jordan and Leah are so careful with each other (though not always careful with themselves, especially Leah). They model such good communication (I especially love the fact that they showed you could communicate different ways and no one way works for everyone and that could be negotiated as well) and responsible habits and had such respect for each other and themselves, it was just wonderful to watch and read.
They had a fabulous community of found family (though that included Jordan's sister Erica, when in town, so not completely found--found and kept) and the world they inhabited was such a wonderful place. The book has some very sexy kink scenes but it still feels like a lovely, warm, soft blanket and is such a comforting read.
December 2, 2020
This was one of the loveliest, warmest, kindest, coziest books I've ever read. Usually, kink books dealing with D/s relationships and especially ones that involve pain play don't really work for me but this book was beautiful with the 30 year friendship between the two main characters, Jordan and Leah, to the heavy focus on consent. It just worked for me on every level.
November 8, 2020
Hmm.
Einerseits bin ich hellauf davon begeistert, wie viele Themen Xan West mit diesem Werk anspricht. Wie viel Wert auf Boundaries und Reflektion der eigenen Gefühle und Bedürfnisse gelegt wird. Da kann mensch echt noch was lernen hier.
Und endlich mal queere Charaktere, die nicht <25 sind und/oder dünn. Nein, die zwei Hauptcharas sind Ende 50, haben Behinderungen, sind autistisch, dick, jüdisch und eine von beiden schwarz. Eine Kombination, die ich in queeren Büchern sonst nie finde.
Weshalb ich trotzdem nur drei Sterne gebe (und dabei schon aufrunde)?
Weil das ganze Buch an zu vielen Stellen einfach nicht rund ist. Ich ständig das Gefühl habe, eine mittelmäßige Fanfiction zu lesen statt eines ausgewachsenen Buchs (das sehr fanartig anmutende Buchcover hilft leider nicht dagegen...). Einige Facetten dieser Gefühle kann ich nicht in Worte fassen, ein paar andere versuch ich hier mal anzureißen.
- Das Buch ziiiiieht sich wie heißer Asphalt im Sommer. Spannungsbogen gibt es kaum einen.
- Wie sollte es auch Spannung geben, es gibt ja fast keine Konflikte. Alle Protagonist:innen (außer *die böse Ex*) sind makellos. Verständnisvoll, reflektiert, empathisch,... und ihre Umwelt passt immer dazu. Wenn eine:r zu wenig Energie für irgendwas hat, ein offenes Ohr braucht oder eine Person die haargenau auf die eigenen Bedürfnisse passt, ist das nie ein Problem und kann immer von den Umständen (und der Tatsache, dass mindestens die Sexshopbesitzerin einfach enorm viel Geld hat) und den ständig zur Verfügung stehenden, ebenso perfekten Bekannten aufgefangen werden. Die Bekannten sind natürlich alle möglichen Queers in perfekten Wahlfamilien deren Bedürfnisse auch alle 100% zueinander passen. Wer hätte das gedacht. Die einzigen Mini-Krisen gibt es im Inneren der beiden Hauptcharas, die Angst haben, nicht perfekt genug für die andere Person zu sein. ZzzzZZZzz.
- Während ich es an sich gut finde, wenn mich ein Buch zum Reflektieren anregt, habe ich hier durchgehend das Gefühl gehabt, dass jeder einzelne Satz mir etwas beibringen will. Unter anderem ist das Buch also eine BDSM-Anleitung für Menschen, die noch nie was vom Thema gehört haben (aber preacht auch heftig über Autismus/nicht-neurodivergent-sein, Beziehungs- und Genderformen, jüdische Praktikenm...). Löblich, aber bizarr, wenn mensch selbst älter als 10 ist, möglicherweise schon mal über den Tellerrand oder in dieses Internet geschaut hat und es eher unangenehm findet, die ganze Zeit belittled zu werden.
- Es gibt ja dieses Phänomen, dass viele Mangazeichner:innen nur 12-22jährige Personen zeichnen können. Müssen sie dann doch mal ältere Leute in ihren Geschichten einbauen, so zeichnen sie wieder Jugendliche, aber malen awkwarde Falten auf deren Gesichter... das überzeugt niemanden und wirkt unbeholfen peinlich.
Ein ähnliches Gefühl hatte ich leider auch bei den beiden Hauptcharas, die beide in ihren 50ern sein sollen. Was ich ja enorm sympathisch fände.. wenn sie mich denn überzeugen würden. Aber es kam mir die ganze Zeit vor, als würde ich die Geschichten zweier Jungspunde zwischen 20 und 25 lesen, bei denen einfach nur behauptet wird, sie wären bereits so alt. Von der Art, wie sie denken, sprechen, miteinander umgehen, ja auch von ihrem Alltag her lässt aber nichts darauf schließen. Klar, könnte man jetzt darüber spekulieren, woran man denn bitte ältere Menschen und deren Leben erkennt, aber das hier war einfach nicht merkwürdig und hinterließ einen schlechten Beigeschmack.
- Persönlicher pet peeve: Drölfzig trans* Leute in dem Buch und keine:r hat das Pronomen they? Obwohl sogar Xan West das für sich selbst nutzt? Das war schon auffallend merkwürdig, wo es doch - mit Abstand - das meistgebraute nichtbinäre Pronomen überhaupt ist.
tl;dr: Sinnvolles Buch mit guten Aspekten, dem aber 90% weniger peinliches Preaching und mehr Konflikte und realistischere Charaktere mit Ecken und Kanten gut getan hätte.
Trotz alledem würde ich das Buch durchaus all meinen Bekannten empfehlen. Nur vielleicht legt mensch es ab und an mal wieder zur Seite oder überspringt hier und da ein paar Dutzend Seiten.
Einerseits bin ich hellauf davon begeistert, wie viele Themen Xan West mit diesem Werk anspricht. Wie viel Wert auf Boundaries und Reflektion der eigenen Gefühle und Bedürfnisse gelegt wird. Da kann mensch echt noch was lernen hier.
Und endlich mal queere Charaktere, die nicht <25 sind und/oder dünn. Nein, die zwei Hauptcharas sind Ende 50, haben Behinderungen, sind autistisch, dick, jüdisch und eine von beiden schwarz. Eine Kombination, die ich in queeren Büchern sonst nie finde.
Weshalb ich trotzdem nur drei Sterne gebe (und dabei schon aufrunde)?
Weil das ganze Buch an zu vielen Stellen einfach nicht rund ist. Ich ständig das Gefühl habe, eine mittelmäßige Fanfiction zu lesen statt eines ausgewachsenen Buchs (das sehr fanartig anmutende Buchcover hilft leider nicht dagegen...). Einige Facetten dieser Gefühle kann ich nicht in Worte fassen, ein paar andere versuch ich hier mal anzureißen.
- Das Buch ziiiiieht sich wie heißer Asphalt im Sommer. Spannungsbogen gibt es kaum einen.
- Wie sollte es auch Spannung geben, es gibt ja fast keine Konflikte. Alle Protagonist:innen (außer *die böse Ex*) sind makellos. Verständnisvoll, reflektiert, empathisch,... und ihre Umwelt passt immer dazu. Wenn eine:r zu wenig Energie für irgendwas hat, ein offenes Ohr braucht oder eine Person die haargenau auf die eigenen Bedürfnisse passt, ist das nie ein Problem und kann immer von den Umständen (und der Tatsache, dass mindestens die Sexshopbesitzerin einfach enorm viel Geld hat) und den ständig zur Verfügung stehenden, ebenso perfekten Bekannten aufgefangen werden. Die Bekannten sind natürlich alle möglichen Queers in perfekten Wahlfamilien deren Bedürfnisse auch alle 100% zueinander passen. Wer hätte das gedacht. Die einzigen Mini-Krisen gibt es im Inneren der beiden Hauptcharas, die Angst haben, nicht perfekt genug für die andere Person zu sein. ZzzzZZZzz.
- Während ich es an sich gut finde, wenn mich ein Buch zum Reflektieren anregt, habe ich hier durchgehend das Gefühl gehabt, dass jeder einzelne Satz mir etwas beibringen will. Unter anderem ist das Buch also eine BDSM-Anleitung für Menschen, die noch nie was vom Thema gehört haben (aber preacht auch heftig über Autismus/nicht-neurodivergent-sein, Beziehungs- und Genderformen, jüdische Praktikenm...). Löblich, aber bizarr, wenn mensch selbst älter als 10 ist, möglicherweise schon mal über den Tellerrand oder in dieses Internet geschaut hat und es eher unangenehm findet, die ganze Zeit belittled zu werden.
- Es gibt ja dieses Phänomen, dass viele Mangazeichner:innen nur 12-22jährige Personen zeichnen können. Müssen sie dann doch mal ältere Leute in ihren Geschichten einbauen, so zeichnen sie wieder Jugendliche, aber malen awkwarde Falten auf deren Gesichter... das überzeugt niemanden und wirkt unbeholfen peinlich.
Ein ähnliches Gefühl hatte ich leider auch bei den beiden Hauptcharas, die beide in ihren 50ern sein sollen. Was ich ja enorm sympathisch fände.. wenn sie mich denn überzeugen würden. Aber es kam mir die ganze Zeit vor, als würde ich die Geschichten zweier Jungspunde zwischen 20 und 25 lesen, bei denen einfach nur behauptet wird, sie wären bereits so alt. Von der Art, wie sie denken, sprechen, miteinander umgehen, ja auch von ihrem Alltag her lässt aber nichts darauf schließen. Klar, könnte man jetzt darüber spekulieren, woran man denn bitte ältere Menschen und deren Leben erkennt, aber das hier war einfach nicht merkwürdig und hinterließ einen schlechten Beigeschmack.
- Persönlicher pet peeve: Drölfzig trans* Leute in dem Buch und keine:r hat das Pronomen they? Obwohl sogar Xan West das für sich selbst nutzt? Das war schon auffallend merkwürdig, wo es doch - mit Abstand - das meistgebraute nichtbinäre Pronomen überhaupt ist.
tl;dr: Sinnvolles Buch mit guten Aspekten, dem aber 90% weniger peinliches Preaching und mehr Konflikte und realistischere Charaktere mit Ecken und Kanten gut getan hätte.
Trotz alledem würde ich das Buch durchaus all meinen Bekannten empfehlen. Nur vielleicht legt mensch es ab und an mal wieder zur Seite oder überspringt hier und da ein paar Dutzend Seiten.
March 22, 2020
I need more time to write a better review, but... This is the first time I read a romance novel with NO drama. Delightful! Such a joy! I loved it ♥
I will update this review when all of it settles in.
*UPDATE 23/03/2020*
Now that's coronavirus time, I've got more time to think about what I read (yeah, it takes quite a lot of time to me to think carefully what I want to review). It's gonna be in Catalan, though :)
El que més m'ha agradat d'aquesta novel·la són els personatges en sí. M'ha flipat com el seus caps funcionaven, el nivell d'auto-consciencia emocional que tenien, el nivell de sensibilitat amb tot i amb tothom, com d'estructurat aconseguien que fossin els seus processos per tal de poder afrontar les situacions que més angoixa i malestar els provocaven, i tot això sense drames innecessaris, tenint un nivell de cura que moltis voldrien i des d'una maduresa emocional molt envejable.
Si el romanç fos així, no li tindria mania per res. És més, segurament que m'identificaria bastant hah!
Fora bromes: reiterar que el fet que sigui una novel·la romàntica SENSE drama m'ha donat vida i esperança. Trobar en un treball de ficció representacions de relacions romàntiques sin el susodicho drama resulta de vital importància per mi. En aquest aspecte súper agraïda de que l'escriptori hagi escrit aquesta novel·la tan fantàstica proporcionant nou imaginari en aquest gènere. Si li sumem el plus de que es tracta de relacions sàfiques, ja és la repanocha de toh. O sea, relacions sàfiques no dramàtiques i amb final feliç. ¿Què més es pot demanar?
Per últim, breu (i estrany en mi) esment sobre les escenes sexuals/kinky: mola que s'hagin explorat diferents aspectes de les dinàmiques bdsmeres, que a cada lliçó s'hagi explorat teòricament i després posat en pràctica. Esment especial a l'última escena sexual: molt hot i ben escrita.
Nada más que decir, señories(?) besis
I will update this review when all of it settles in.
*UPDATE 23/03/2020*
Now that's coronavirus time, I've got more time to think about what I read (yeah, it takes quite a lot of time to me to think carefully what I want to review). It's gonna be in Catalan, though :)
El que més m'ha agradat d'aquesta novel·la són els personatges en sí. M'ha flipat com el seus caps funcionaven, el nivell d'auto-consciencia emocional que tenien, el nivell de sensibilitat amb tot i amb tothom, com d'estructurat aconseguien que fossin els seus processos per tal de poder afrontar les situacions que més angoixa i malestar els provocaven, i tot això sense drames innecessaris, tenint un nivell de cura que moltis voldrien i des d'una maduresa emocional molt envejable.
Si el romanç fos així, no li tindria mania per res. És més, segurament que m'identificaria bastant hah!
Fora bromes: reiterar que el fet que sigui una novel·la romàntica SENSE drama m'ha donat vida i esperança. Trobar en un treball de ficció representacions de relacions romàntiques sin el susodicho drama resulta de vital importància per mi. En aquest aspecte súper agraïda de que l'escriptori hagi escrit aquesta novel·la tan fantàstica proporcionant nou imaginari en aquest gènere. Si li sumem el plus de que es tracta de relacions sàfiques, ja és la repanocha de toh. O sea, relacions sàfiques no dramàtiques i amb final feliç. ¿Què més es pot demanar?
Per últim, breu (i estrany en mi) esment sobre les escenes sexuals/kinky: mola que s'hagin explorat diferents aspectes de les dinàmiques bdsmeres, que a cada lliçó s'hagi explorat teòricament i després posat en pràctica. Esment especial a l'última escena sexual: molt hot i ben escrita.
Nada más que decir, señories(?) besis
May 7, 2022
It's tragic, but not in the way a good tragedy is. I saw another review somewhere what that "it reads like a kink 101 tutorial" and that's completely accurate. It claims it has good autistic representation, and the author herself is a nonbinary autistic. But this was a deeply uncomfortable read. For the vast majority of the time it is either boring as day chatter, or it is very in depth discussion of the foods and meals that the characters are having. So it's a rather neck breaking jolt when the scenes shift to Kink/Sex focus.
This whole story is **TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM.**
The one protagonists, Leah, clearly is just using "kink" as a form of self harm. She cannot bear to hurt herself, so she uses others, "dominants", to achieve that for her. In the story it is treated as perfectly normal to want to express self harm through asking your significant other to hurt you but frame it as a sex thing.
Which doesn't even touch on how legitimately scary it is that Leah's Best Friend and Second Protagonist, Jordan, has been having sexual fantasies of hurting Leah for over 30 years. Jordan's ex, Dani is framed as a terrible partner because Dani only wanted to have loving sex where both partners are equal and human and joining in an act of love, where there is NO VIOLENCE. Which is considered disrespectful for Jordan's wishes pretend she is a male with a cock who forces women with pussies into submission.
This book is highly problematic, triggering, but not in ways it warns for, and worst of all, usually boring for the 60-80% of the reading time it is not being actively offensive.
This whole story is **TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM.**
The one protagonists, Leah, clearly is just using "kink" as a form of self harm. She cannot bear to hurt herself, so she uses others, "dominants", to achieve that for her. In the story it is treated as perfectly normal to want to express self harm through asking your significant other to hurt you but frame it as a sex thing.
Which doesn't even touch on how legitimately scary it is that Leah's Best Friend and Second Protagonist, Jordan, has been having sexual fantasies of hurting Leah for over 30 years. Jordan's ex, Dani is framed as a terrible partner because Dani only wanted to have loving sex where both partners are equal and human and joining in an act of love, where there is NO VIOLENCE. Which is considered disrespectful for Jordan's wishes pretend she is a male with a cock who forces women with pussies into submission.
This book is highly problematic, triggering, but not in ways it warns for, and worst of all, usually boring for the 60-80% of the reading time it is not being actively offensive.
January 12, 2021
the setup and broader story can feel a little clunky at times, but it is worth it for the slow progression within the central relationship and a well-written and very compelling D/s dynamic between the main characters. The book is written with a lot of care for its characters and shows a community of people doing their best to care for each other and going out of their way to honour each other’s feelings and needs and boundaries. It feels a little /too/ perfect to me; there are bad behaviours by others in the past but no characters who are active in the story ever do anything that escalates into conflict or misunderstanding; at worst, someone’s self-soothing behaviours might cause another person some anxiety that has to wait to be resolved, but everyone is on their best behaviour and really practiced at negotiating boundaries so it never feels like the trajectory the story is on might get interrupted. I haven’t read much romance and I think this might be an intentional engagement with the genre. It has a wish-fulfilment sort of energy; a vision for how wonderful it could be if everyone in our real-world communities could treat each other with this degree of patience and kindness and care.
May 7, 2022
i only read this because i knew it would make me laugh. the writing is very juvenile in a see-spot-run type of way; all of the characters have the same 'voice' (if there weren't character names attached to their dialogue, you'd never think different characters were speaking), and the actual sex descriptions are genuinely revolting. (using "yummy" to describe violence against sex partners is enough to make my skin crawl). it tries really hard to be sex positive and showcase kinky activity as normal and desirable but it just made me feel even more prudish because it was, for lack of more eloquent terms, gross. it also, at some points, came across as propagandistic- but i couldn't figure out if that was intentional, or if the author simply couldn't truly comprehend that were other ways to live outside of their own.
when i finished it, all i could think is that... there is no way this could've possibly aroused ANYONE. it's so lacking in soul, so lacking in character and conflict and anything truly meaty. all it had to show was that it was abusive, controlling and - stark as it may be compared to the other adjectives - DULL. DO NOT READ.
makes a great gag gift though but honestly, be careful of your audience.
when i finished it, all i could think is that... there is no way this could've possibly aroused ANYONE. it's so lacking in soul, so lacking in character and conflict and anything truly meaty. all it had to show was that it was abusive, controlling and - stark as it may be compared to the other adjectives - DULL. DO NOT READ.
makes a great gag gift though but honestly, be careful of your audience.
Read
March 27, 2022Full review available at The Smut Report.
Heat Factor: We open with fisting and go from there
Character Chemistry: Leah and Jordan are unfailingly kind and gentle with each other
Plot: Jordan has been suppressing her desires since forever, so her best friend gives her kink lessons
Overall: An object lesson in compassion
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Heat Factor: We open with fisting and go from there
Character Chemistry: Leah and Jordan are unfailingly kind and gentle with each other
Plot: Jordan has been suppressing her desires since forever, so her best friend gives her kink lessons
Overall: An object lesson in compassion
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July 1, 2020
It is quite nice to read a book as sensitive and inclusive as this one, and the protagonists’ respective journeys are lovely to follow. However, at times it reads as a kink manual and the exclusively supportive gallery of minor characters feels completely unrealistic. Making all the villains a thing of the past (or only appear off screen) removes a lot of what may have been needed friction. But, it makes it a safer and more comfortable read for a lot of people, so I don’t consider it a fault, just something making it less for me.
December 10, 2019
CAN'T WAIT FOR Y'ALL TO READ THIS!
December 19, 2020
I’m so glad that this book exists, I’m just not the right audience for it.
December 13, 2021
This book was such a delight. I hardly ever slow down and savor books. I usually prefer to read books really quickly and absorb all of the contents at once or in the quickest way that I can but I found myself taking this book really slow. I don't know if it was because I resonated with the content a lot or if it was because the book itself takes a little bit to get into but I enjoyed it thoroughly.
This one has all the rep you could want. Both of our MCs are over 50 and fat, autistic, Jewish, kinky, poly, and queer. Jordan is sapphic and disabled. She has chronic pain and uses a cane sometimes. Leah is gray ace.
Jordan and Leah have been friends for decades and while they had mutual attraction during their twenties and thirties they have both been in relationships that have prohibited them from being together. Jordan was in a toxic marriage and that is discussed a little bit throughout the book mostly in regards to how her ex-wife didn't understand her autism and also didn't understand her kinkiness. Leah had a really toxic relationship with a dominant who scarred her emotionally and left Leah hesitant to enter into anything serious or romantic in nature. She has participated in a lot of scenes and has multiple play partners, but didn't have a primary partner.
After Jordan's divorce she moves in with Leah and for the first time they really have an opportunity to discover what something between the two of them could look like. Jordan is finally able to embrace her dominant nature and explore kink and since Leah is a kink educator, she offers to give Jordan kink lessons for every night of Hanukkah. Leah is submissive and femme and Jordan is a self-described stone butch dominant.
This book is incredibly character-driven and character motivated in that while the plot exists and there is a timeline for how these lessons continue, everything really hinges on how both Leah and Jordan feel on each particular day. Their emotions and experiences in the way that they process life makes an impact and it felt incredibly realistic.
One of my favorite parts of this book was the exploration of non-sexual kink and really highlighting and showcasing that kink in and of itself does not have to be sexual. I feel like a lot of people are going to look at this book and assume that it is 80% smut but there is honestly only a couple explicit sex scenes. If I remember right there is one coupled explicit sex scene involving penetration, there is one solo masturbation scene, there is a fisting demo scene, and there is an explicit scene at the end that I won't give away the details of. But for a 400-page book with a title like eight kinky nights, there's maybe 30 pages of sex scenes if that.
This one is much more focused on exploration and self-discovery and embracing pur own personhood.
While both of our main characters are cis women, there are a lot of trans and non-binary secondary characters including the use of multiple neopronouns.
This one has all the rep you could want. Both of our MCs are over 50 and fat, autistic, Jewish, kinky, poly, and queer. Jordan is sapphic and disabled. She has chronic pain and uses a cane sometimes. Leah is gray ace.
Jordan and Leah have been friends for decades and while they had mutual attraction during their twenties and thirties they have both been in relationships that have prohibited them from being together. Jordan was in a toxic marriage and that is discussed a little bit throughout the book mostly in regards to how her ex-wife didn't understand her autism and also didn't understand her kinkiness. Leah had a really toxic relationship with a dominant who scarred her emotionally and left Leah hesitant to enter into anything serious or romantic in nature. She has participated in a lot of scenes and has multiple play partners, but didn't have a primary partner.
After Jordan's divorce she moves in with Leah and for the first time they really have an opportunity to discover what something between the two of them could look like. Jordan is finally able to embrace her dominant nature and explore kink and since Leah is a kink educator, she offers to give Jordan kink lessons for every night of Hanukkah. Leah is submissive and femme and Jordan is a self-described stone butch dominant.
This book is incredibly character-driven and character motivated in that while the plot exists and there is a timeline for how these lessons continue, everything really hinges on how both Leah and Jordan feel on each particular day. Their emotions and experiences in the way that they process life makes an impact and it felt incredibly realistic.
One of my favorite parts of this book was the exploration of non-sexual kink and really highlighting and showcasing that kink in and of itself does not have to be sexual. I feel like a lot of people are going to look at this book and assume that it is 80% smut but there is honestly only a couple explicit sex scenes. If I remember right there is one coupled explicit sex scene involving penetration, there is one solo masturbation scene, there is a fisting demo scene, and there is an explicit scene at the end that I won't give away the details of. But for a 400-page book with a title like eight kinky nights, there's maybe 30 pages of sex scenes if that.
This one is much more focused on exploration and self-discovery and embracing pur own personhood.
While both of our main characters are cis women, there are a lot of trans and non-binary secondary characters including the use of multiple neopronouns.
March 11, 2022
"It felt like the most naked intimate thing to do with someone just then, and Leah could barely breathe. She was stimming with her dominant... And it was okay. It was more than okay, it was a way of connecting, of being close, of letting Jordan see her and know her, and for her to see and know Jordan in return."
Possibly the most embarrassing title I've ever reviewed but this shit was so soft. This is a friends-to-D/s-to-lovers story of two Jewish, autistic women and it completely hit me right in the feels. Seeing Leah continue to learn to unmask at fifty was such hopeful moments to me and seeing Leah and Jordan find community with queer and trans autistic people was so wonderful. Although there is sex in this book, the intimacy derives from someplace else--the moments of stimming together, cooking for each other, and honoring each other's needs as individuals. West drives home that kink is not only sexual--it's much more.
But this book is about more than just a relationship between these two--this is also about Leah and Jordan's individual self-love journeys. Throughout the book, Leah continues to deal with trauma from an abusive D/s relationship that ended years ago and honor her identity as gray-ace and Jordan continues to process and learn to be her own person after her recent divorce. There is also a huge cast of characters within the D/s world and a huge swath of representation--there were all sorts of gender presentations, queer identities, pronouns, and types of relationships, including a few QPPs which is really lovely to see in a book.
Unexpectedly, this book has stolen my heart.
Possibly the most embarrassing title I've ever reviewed but this shit was so soft. This is a friends-to-D/s-to-lovers story of two Jewish, autistic women and it completely hit me right in the feels. Seeing Leah continue to learn to unmask at fifty was such hopeful moments to me and seeing Leah and Jordan find community with queer and trans autistic people was so wonderful. Although there is sex in this book, the intimacy derives from someplace else--the moments of stimming together, cooking for each other, and honoring each other's needs as individuals. West drives home that kink is not only sexual--it's much more.
But this book is about more than just a relationship between these two--this is also about Leah and Jordan's individual self-love journeys. Throughout the book, Leah continues to deal with trauma from an abusive D/s relationship that ended years ago and honor her identity as gray-ace and Jordan continues to process and learn to be her own person after her recent divorce. There is also a huge cast of characters within the D/s world and a huge swath of representation--there were all sorts of gender presentations, queer identities, pronouns, and types of relationships, including a few QPPs which is really lovely to see in a book.
Unexpectedly, this book has stolen my heart.
March 17, 2020
I follow Xan West on Twitter, and when they announced their next project was a kinky wlw Chanukah book, my face was one big eyes emoji. My interest only grew the more they tweeted about the writing and editing process. When they posted the final list of representation in the book, I slammed that "Buy with One Click" button. I knew I wanted Eight Kinky Nights.
Leah and Jordan have been best friends for thirty years, but it's only after Jordan's divorce that they're living together. Both polyam, autistic, fat, Jewish, and disabled, Leah is a femme submissive and sex educator, and stone butch Jordan is interested in learning to be a dominant. It only makes sense that Leah teach Jordan, and, with Chanukah coming up, eight lessons are the perfect present. That is, until both ladies get more than they bargained for, with old wounds and new feelings flaring to life.
As I said, I knew I wanted Eight Kinky Nights, but it wasn't until I started reading that I knew I needed it. Part of the reason it took me so long to finish was I never wanted it to end. The writing is careful and deliberate. The characters are gentle and good with each other. The on-page healing is marvelous. While wlw books like Mia Sugiura's It's Not Like It's a Secret shine in showing how characters can screw up, Xan West revels in what if characters did everything right, with the resources they have at their disposal now. I didn't know a ton about the polyam kink community, so I also learned a lot about that scene and culture. Reading Eight Kinky Nights made me feel safe, warm, and affirmed. I hadn't even reached the last page before I was rec'ing it to queer friends.
Treat yourself to Eight Kinky Nights. You deserve this goodness in your life.
Leah and Jordan have been best friends for thirty years, but it's only after Jordan's divorce that they're living together. Both polyam, autistic, fat, Jewish, and disabled, Leah is a femme submissive and sex educator, and stone butch Jordan is interested in learning to be a dominant. It only makes sense that Leah teach Jordan, and, with Chanukah coming up, eight lessons are the perfect present. That is, until both ladies get more than they bargained for, with old wounds and new feelings flaring to life.
As I said, I knew I wanted Eight Kinky Nights, but it wasn't until I started reading that I knew I needed it. Part of the reason it took me so long to finish was I never wanted it to end. The writing is careful and deliberate. The characters are gentle and good with each other. The on-page healing is marvelous. While wlw books like Mia Sugiura's It's Not Like It's a Secret shine in showing how characters can screw up, Xan West revels in what if characters did everything right, with the resources they have at their disposal now. I didn't know a ton about the polyam kink community, so I also learned a lot about that scene and culture. Reading Eight Kinky Nights made me feel safe, warm, and affirmed. I hadn't even reached the last page before I was rec'ing it to queer friends.
Treat yourself to Eight Kinky Nights. You deserve this goodness in your life.
Want to read
December 30, 2022Pausing at 34%.
I'm just not in the headspace for this atm. It's very introspective and has a lot of explanations about a lot of things. It's interesting but the plot is getting lost.
I'm just not in the headspace for this atm. It's very introspective and has a lot of explanations about a lot of things. It's interesting but the plot is getting lost.
January 11, 2021
what a beautiful romance - I loved how it felt like the novel was teaching me/reminding me of the wide world of possibilities inside kink and D/s.
February 17, 2020
I received an advance copy from the author for review purposes. I’m also mutuals with author on twitter. This in no way influences my review; all words, thoughts, and opinions are my own.
Eight Kinky Nights is unapologetically Kinky, queer, autistic, and Jewish, and I love it for that!
Jordan and Leah have been friends for 30 years and after Jordan’s divorce, she’s moved back to New York and is staying with Leah. In many ways, Jordan is using this as a chance for her to establish her own wants and needs, including stepping into Kinky spaces. While she was with Dani she was made to feel like a burden at times when her spoons were low or pain flared, and felt stuffed almost in the monogamous, vanilla relationship she had with her ex-wife.
Leah has been in Kinky spaces for approximately 20 years and is even a kink educator. Because of Dani’s distaste towards kink, Leah was under the impression Jordan was also vanilla, so learning otherwise causes her to face some world shifting to fit that into how she knows Jordan. Because Jordan is a novice dominant and Leah has been in the scene so long, she comes up with the idea of doing eight kinky lessons for Jordan’s Hanukkah present, which will also give Leah a chance to navigate her own consent around sex and sexual kink since realizing she’s Grey-ace.
Reading this book in a lot of ways feels like being seen for the first time when it comes to the autistic representation. The rep is OwnVoices and it shows. Both Leah and Jordan are autistic, as are several secondary characters, and seeing them allowed to be authentically themselves is so freeing. These autistic characters are shown stimming, melting down, going non verbal, and talks about how certain textures and sensations are Happy and Good. I especially loved the taste stimming around the combination of taste and texture with the things they eat.
I really enjoyed the way kink and consent and explored in this book. A lot of different kinds of kink are presented and discussed, as well as discussions about how the same activity can elicit different reactions and experiences from different folks. I also loved the way disability and pain came up, discussing ways activities can be adjusted and reworked to accommodate different needs. Consent especially came up a lot, and I especially enjoyed how consent of dominant matters as much as consent of submissive and navigating consent and setting limits. I feel like these are conversations that too often get brushed over in favor of the “sexy” things, but seeing consent navigated and communicated in this way is really important.
I also adored the relationship between Leah and Jordan. As I mentioned, they’ve been friends and chosen family for a long time, and seeing that friendship grow and change over the course of the book into a romantic relationship and a D/s relationship was absolutely lovely. They’ve already got such a strong foundation of trust and platonic love, and doing the kink lessons gives them a chance to explore new dynamics to their friendship and redefine their love for one another.
I really enjoyed this book and strongly recommend it for anyone looking for a kinky romantic story starring autistic fat Jews. Content warnings can be found on the author’s website: https://xanwest.wordpress.com/eight-k...
Eight Kinky Nights is unapologetically Kinky, queer, autistic, and Jewish, and I love it for that!
Jordan and Leah have been friends for 30 years and after Jordan’s divorce, she’s moved back to New York and is staying with Leah. In many ways, Jordan is using this as a chance for her to establish her own wants and needs, including stepping into Kinky spaces. While she was with Dani she was made to feel like a burden at times when her spoons were low or pain flared, and felt stuffed almost in the monogamous, vanilla relationship she had with her ex-wife.
Leah has been in Kinky spaces for approximately 20 years and is even a kink educator. Because of Dani’s distaste towards kink, Leah was under the impression Jordan was also vanilla, so learning otherwise causes her to face some world shifting to fit that into how she knows Jordan. Because Jordan is a novice dominant and Leah has been in the scene so long, she comes up with the idea of doing eight kinky lessons for Jordan’s Hanukkah present, which will also give Leah a chance to navigate her own consent around sex and sexual kink since realizing she’s Grey-ace.
Reading this book in a lot of ways feels like being seen for the first time when it comes to the autistic representation. The rep is OwnVoices and it shows. Both Leah and Jordan are autistic, as are several secondary characters, and seeing them allowed to be authentically themselves is so freeing. These autistic characters are shown stimming, melting down, going non verbal, and talks about how certain textures and sensations are Happy and Good. I especially loved the taste stimming around the combination of taste and texture with the things they eat.
I really enjoyed the way kink and consent and explored in this book. A lot of different kinds of kink are presented and discussed, as well as discussions about how the same activity can elicit different reactions and experiences from different folks. I also loved the way disability and pain came up, discussing ways activities can be adjusted and reworked to accommodate different needs. Consent especially came up a lot, and I especially enjoyed how consent of dominant matters as much as consent of submissive and navigating consent and setting limits. I feel like these are conversations that too often get brushed over in favor of the “sexy” things, but seeing consent navigated and communicated in this way is really important.
I also adored the relationship between Leah and Jordan. As I mentioned, they’ve been friends and chosen family for a long time, and seeing that friendship grow and change over the course of the book into a romantic relationship and a D/s relationship was absolutely lovely. They’ve already got such a strong foundation of trust and platonic love, and doing the kink lessons gives them a chance to explore new dynamics to their friendship and redefine their love for one another.
I really enjoyed this book and strongly recommend it for anyone looking for a kinky romantic story starring autistic fat Jews. Content warnings can be found on the author’s website: https://xanwest.wordpress.com/eight-k...
June 10, 2022
J’avais envie d’une lecture facile : scénario prévisible, style et vocabulaire simple – pas de fantasy pour adulte, par exemple – et qui me parle. Je suis tombée sur Eight Kinky Nights de Xan West, une romance hivernale : pour chaque nuit de Chanukah, Leah, une éducatrice sexuelle, donnera à sa meilleure amie Jordan une leçon de BDSM.
Malgré sa simplicité apparente, c’était loin d’être une lecture tranquille : je me suis tellement identifiée aux personnages, leurs réflexions avaient tant d’applications dans ma vie, que chaque chapitre était un moment intense. Je vous préviens : mes pensées vont dans tous les sens, sautant d’un point enthousiasmant dont j’ai envie de parler à un autre. J’ai passé ma semaine à en parler à tous les gens de mon entourage ! J’ai peur de me disperser, mais j’ai envie de m’enthousiasmer de tant de détails… de l’incorporation de l’autisme dans la narration, qui connecte sensations et émotions – mais d’une manière différente pour Jordan et Leah. De l’enthousiasme de Leah pour les tableurs, et sa décision de créer une grille de consentement : je fais la même chose ! Des discussions qui paraissent si réelles : on dirait celles que j’ai avec mes ami·es… J’avais l’impression d’être chez moi, parfaitement à ma place dans un cocon doux et compréhensif.
Eight Kinky Nights est écrit pour moi, pour nous, en tant que personnes marginalisées. Il n’y a aucune pédagogie, même pas d’explications subtilement intégrées au récit.
La suite de mon avis : https://elainevker.com/blog/2022/06/0...
Malgré sa simplicité apparente, c’était loin d’être une lecture tranquille : je me suis tellement identifiée aux personnages, leurs réflexions avaient tant d’applications dans ma vie, que chaque chapitre était un moment intense. Je vous préviens : mes pensées vont dans tous les sens, sautant d’un point enthousiasmant dont j’ai envie de parler à un autre. J’ai passé ma semaine à en parler à tous les gens de mon entourage ! J’ai peur de me disperser, mais j’ai envie de m’enthousiasmer de tant de détails… de l’incorporation de l’autisme dans la narration, qui connecte sensations et émotions – mais d’une manière différente pour Jordan et Leah. De l’enthousiasme de Leah pour les tableurs, et sa décision de créer une grille de consentement : je fais la même chose ! Des discussions qui paraissent si réelles : on dirait celles que j’ai avec mes ami·es… J’avais l’impression d’être chez moi, parfaitement à ma place dans un cocon doux et compréhensif.
Eight Kinky Nights est écrit pour moi, pour nous, en tant que personnes marginalisées. Il n’y a aucune pédagogie, même pas d’explications subtilement intégrées au récit.
La suite de mon avis : https://elainevker.com/blog/2022/06/0...
January 10, 2022
To see more reviews check out MI Book Reviews.
I got an ARC of this book.
If this were a book that I saw on display, I would have picked it up. Look at that cover. There are so many things on it that would draw me in. This is the sort of book I have been waiting my whole queer life to find. The book that is apologetically everything “other” and I am here for it. The characters are fat, Jewish, gender diverse, neurodiverse, kink positive, various sexualities from ace to bi to pan and more. There are submissives and dominants. There are poly families. There are marriages. There are play partners. There are best friends of thirty years.
This book was like coming home and it was exhilarating. I was living for these characters by the end. I am mad at West for creating a world I wish I was a part of as intensely as I wish I could be in this world. This is a world where being queer and fat is seen as attractive and not something to be ashamed of. It is a world where when that shame creeps in there is support. This is a world that encourages people to be happy and healthy in ways that work for them. This is a world that encourages setting boundaries and respecting others. It is a world that makes me miss having a sub of my very own.
There is just so many amazing things about this book that aren’t even the book itself. To start, West included a guide on pronouns and gender identities of the main characters. Gender identity was not used as a “aha gotcha” or as a surprise for titillation. All of the characters were allowed to just be themselves in a way that as a trans person, I can’t praise enough. I am so tired of part of my identity being used to be edgy or different. West’s characters were queer as queer could be, but they were queer because that was exactly who they were. It was not a gimmick, it wasn’t for a diversity checklist. At the end, West included some helpful tips for people writing reviews. Tips that pointed reviewers towards respecting the characters for who they were instead of trying to misgender them to be salacious. I just am over joyed at this level of detail and care. I promise I will get back to the book itself, but I am just so tired of having to be on guard all of the time around trans characters. I am so tired of being treated like a novelty and like someone who barely deserves basic respect, even by authors who are the rock stars and celebrities of my world. To see an author make multiple efforts to make the characters respected for who they were in a way that was very blunt was beyond refreshing and I am just so thankful. I did not fear for bad representation. I didn’t fear that I would be angry at just being a plot device. Not once was being trans a plot device. Not ONCE. My trans heart is so full of love and happiness right now.
Ok, the book. I had exactly one issue with the book. The dialogue is a bit stilted at first. Every character speaks in the same stilted way. There isn’t a lot of flow to it. If it was a character or two, it would have been a character trait, but it was every character. This didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the story or the characters, it just made it take a few extra pages to be in love wit them. I actually really liked the way the characters talked to one another. I never questioned motives. I always felt like I was understanding what was being said. So maybe, I don’t have an issue at all. Maybe I am just so unused to being able to understand someone when they speak at this level that it took some getting used to.
Now that my sort of complaining is over, the good. SO MUCH GOOD. This book is kinky. That is not to say that there are whips and chains and sex everywhere. Most of the kink is not sexual. Most of the kink is submission, not pain. This is the sort of kink book I like. The kind that takes time out of the sexy parts to make sure consent is visible and enthusiastic. There are some parts that are clearly not perfect between the characters. There are hurt feelings, there are assumptions. They are people, but the fact that consent is always visible and always a huge part of it never made me fear for anyone’s safety. I was able to just enjoy the story instead of worrying about triggers. If you are concerned about triggers, West includes a list of some triggers at the beginning of the book and even lists what chapters they will be in so you can still enjoy the book. When West sent me the book there was even a link for more information about triggers (have I praised the author enough for the consent and communication yet? Because seriously, I have never seen a book or an author care this much about consent). If you can joke or seriously say that consent is your kink, then this book will have so much for you.
The plot is a slow burn, friends to lovers sort of romance. There were some emotional things that both MCs had to handle and learn from before a healthy relationship could happen. I am happy to find a healthy relationship in a romance. It is so rare. There were so many healthy relationships. I am just over the moon about this book.
Not only were there strong butches and confident femmes, there was room for others. There were trans characters, non-binary characters, and gender queer characters that were all given page time. There were monogamous and polyamorous relationships. There were casual relationships, friendships, and mentor-ships. If you are really into relationship dynamics like I am, then this is just perfection. There was no One True Way for anything. There was a lot of paving new paths and learning. There were so many emotions and so many hard conversations. There was just so much that I loved and I wanted this book to go on forever. I wanted to explore every single relationship that was mentioned. I need more about every single character. I want to know them as well as I know the two MCs. If I begged, maybe there will be a sequel or companion novel.
I could go on forever about why I love this book or you could read it. Please read it. It is queer perfection.
I got an ARC of this book.
If this were a book that I saw on display, I would have picked it up. Look at that cover. There are so many things on it that would draw me in. This is the sort of book I have been waiting my whole queer life to find. The book that is apologetically everything “other” and I am here for it. The characters are fat, Jewish, gender diverse, neurodiverse, kink positive, various sexualities from ace to bi to pan and more. There are submissives and dominants. There are poly families. There are marriages. There are play partners. There are best friends of thirty years.
This book was like coming home and it was exhilarating. I was living for these characters by the end. I am mad at West for creating a world I wish I was a part of as intensely as I wish I could be in this world. This is a world where being queer and fat is seen as attractive and not something to be ashamed of. It is a world where when that shame creeps in there is support. This is a world that encourages people to be happy and healthy in ways that work for them. This is a world that encourages setting boundaries and respecting others. It is a world that makes me miss having a sub of my very own.
There is just so many amazing things about this book that aren’t even the book itself. To start, West included a guide on pronouns and gender identities of the main characters. Gender identity was not used as a “aha gotcha” or as a surprise for titillation. All of the characters were allowed to just be themselves in a way that as a trans person, I can’t praise enough. I am so tired of part of my identity being used to be edgy or different. West’s characters were queer as queer could be, but they were queer because that was exactly who they were. It was not a gimmick, it wasn’t for a diversity checklist. At the end, West included some helpful tips for people writing reviews. Tips that pointed reviewers towards respecting the characters for who they were instead of trying to misgender them to be salacious. I just am over joyed at this level of detail and care. I promise I will get back to the book itself, but I am just so tired of having to be on guard all of the time around trans characters. I am so tired of being treated like a novelty and like someone who barely deserves basic respect, even by authors who are the rock stars and celebrities of my world. To see an author make multiple efforts to make the characters respected for who they were in a way that was very blunt was beyond refreshing and I am just so thankful. I did not fear for bad representation. I didn’t fear that I would be angry at just being a plot device. Not once was being trans a plot device. Not ONCE. My trans heart is so full of love and happiness right now.
Ok, the book. I had exactly one issue with the book. The dialogue is a bit stilted at first. Every character speaks in the same stilted way. There isn’t a lot of flow to it. If it was a character or two, it would have been a character trait, but it was every character. This didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the story or the characters, it just made it take a few extra pages to be in love wit them. I actually really liked the way the characters talked to one another. I never questioned motives. I always felt like I was understanding what was being said. So maybe, I don’t have an issue at all. Maybe I am just so unused to being able to understand someone when they speak at this level that it took some getting used to.
Now that my sort of complaining is over, the good. SO MUCH GOOD. This book is kinky. That is not to say that there are whips and chains and sex everywhere. Most of the kink is not sexual. Most of the kink is submission, not pain. This is the sort of kink book I like. The kind that takes time out of the sexy parts to make sure consent is visible and enthusiastic. There are some parts that are clearly not perfect between the characters. There are hurt feelings, there are assumptions. They are people, but the fact that consent is always visible and always a huge part of it never made me fear for anyone’s safety. I was able to just enjoy the story instead of worrying about triggers. If you are concerned about triggers, West includes a list of some triggers at the beginning of the book and even lists what chapters they will be in so you can still enjoy the book. When West sent me the book there was even a link for more information about triggers (have I praised the author enough for the consent and communication yet? Because seriously, I have never seen a book or an author care this much about consent). If you can joke or seriously say that consent is your kink, then this book will have so much for you.
The plot is a slow burn, friends to lovers sort of romance. There were some emotional things that both MCs had to handle and learn from before a healthy relationship could happen. I am happy to find a healthy relationship in a romance. It is so rare. There were so many healthy relationships. I am just over the moon about this book.
Not only were there strong butches and confident femmes, there was room for others. There were trans characters, non-binary characters, and gender queer characters that were all given page time. There were monogamous and polyamorous relationships. There were casual relationships, friendships, and mentor-ships. If you are really into relationship dynamics like I am, then this is just perfection. There was no One True Way for anything. There was a lot of paving new paths and learning. There were so many emotions and so many hard conversations. There was just so much that I loved and I wanted this book to go on forever. I wanted to explore every single relationship that was mentioned. I need more about every single character. I want to know them as well as I know the two MCs. If I begged, maybe there will be a sequel or companion novel.
I could go on forever about why I love this book or you could read it. Please read it. It is queer perfection.
January 22, 2021
I enjoyed this read, as someone who doesn't typically read romance novels. My only complaint was that there were more than handful of either grammatical or spelling errors throughout the book. Those things tend to be a time-consuming distraction for me but overall this was fun and I'll probably be reading other books by the author.
Shelved as 'featured'
February 14, 2020
December 26, 2021
wtf man
March 17, 2021
Wie fange ich an?
Eventuell damit, dass ich schon seit Monaten auf Twitter um dieses Buch herumgeschlichen bin, und dann eine recht schwere Zeit hatte. Einerseits hat sich meine Lebenssituation verbessert, andererseits gab es viele Dinge, die aufgrund dessen, dass es nun einmal 2020 war, nicht so funktioniert haben, wie ich es gewünscht hätte.
Ich wollte mir etwas Gutes tun und ein Buch für Channukah kaufen, um es dann auch während dieser Zeit auszulesen.
Das hat offensichtlich nicht geklappt - und um das zu erklären, muss ich ausholen.
Wenn ich Bücher lese, in denen ich mit den Figuren Marginalisiuerungen teile, ist immer ein Risiko da, dass es "too close to home" ist. Hier bin ich das Risiko bewusst eingegangen, weil ich gleichzeitig Repräsentation als wohltuend empfinde.
Wer meinen Twitter-Account kennt, weiß: Ich bin selbst erst vor gar nicht langer Zeit aus der Denial-Phase rausgegangen, was meine kinky Seite angeht. Ich bin außerdem jüdisch, autistisch, demi-ace und habe einige Probleme mit bleich beiden Perspektivträgerinnen gemein.
Was dazu führte, dass ich ständig Stellen markiert habe, weil ich sie mir hinter die Ohren schreiben wollte oder weil ich Dinge ähnlich erlebt habe oder oder oder und dass ich ständig Pausen beim Lesen gebraucht habe, weil ich eigene Issues zum Überlegen hatte.
So soll ein Buch ja eigentlich sein - die Axt für das gefrorene Meer (frei nach Kafka), aber Axthiebe tun weh, auch wenn sie notwendig sind.
Ich habe das Buch geliebt. Auch wenn - oder gerade weil - ich manche längeren Passagen mit Tränen in den Augen gelesen habe. Wer ein Buch sucht, in dem die Leute ganz selbstverständlich einfach sein dürfen und Probleme damit zwar immer mal (am Rande) thematisiert werden, aber nicht den Fokus darauf legen, wird damit sehr glücklich.
Die Figuren haben ganz normale Probleme, die sich zwar zum Teil aus ihren Marginalisierungen mit-speisen, weil beispielsweise Autismus nun mal alle Lebensbereiche in irgendeiner Form beeinflusst, die aber nicht das Kernthema bilden.
Es geht um zwei Personen, die im Laufe des Buches Dinge über sich selbst erlernen - und dabei eben AUCH marginalisiert sind.
Es tat gut,
- von Figuren zu lesen, die ganz selbstverständlich Stims benutzen, um sich gut zu tun, dies auch bewusst und bedacht tun, statt Stimming ausschließlich als Notreaktion zu verwenden - das ist etwas, das ich erst lernen muss.
- zu lesen, wie Menschen Chanukkah feiern - meine Familie ist zu assimiliert, sodass wir einfach das kommunistische Tannenbaumfest um eine Woche vorverlegten und es "Weihnachten" nannten und ich lebe mit einer christlichen Partnerperson zusammen. Mich literarisch mit jüdischen Bräuchen zu beschäftigen, auch wenn mein ursprünglicher Plan nicht funktioniert hat, verwurzelt.
- von Figuren zu lesen, die den Pfad zwischen ace-spec und kinky navigieren. Auch wenn es bei mir noch mal komplett anders ist, half es doch, in einem Buch von Menschen mit verwandten Problemen zu lesen und wie sie an diese herangegangen sind.
- Szenen voller Consent - das tut einfach gut zu lesen, wenn auch vor Umarmungen um Erlaubnis gefragt wird <3.
- Ideen für den Umgang mit sensorischen Issues zu lesen. Die habe ich nämlich selbst sehr oft.
(Eine Inhaltszusammenfassung spare ich mir, da der Klappentext es wesentlich besser zusammenfasst, als ich es könnte. Mir war in dieser Review wichtiger, zu betonen, was das Buch in mir ausgelöst hat und was mir beim Lesen wichtig war. Lesende, die wie ich schon mal um dieses Werk schleichen, bekommen so am ehesten einen Eindruck von dem, was sie erwartet.)
Eventuell damit, dass ich schon seit Monaten auf Twitter um dieses Buch herumgeschlichen bin, und dann eine recht schwere Zeit hatte. Einerseits hat sich meine Lebenssituation verbessert, andererseits gab es viele Dinge, die aufgrund dessen, dass es nun einmal 2020 war, nicht so funktioniert haben, wie ich es gewünscht hätte.
Ich wollte mir etwas Gutes tun und ein Buch für Channukah kaufen, um es dann auch während dieser Zeit auszulesen.
Das hat offensichtlich nicht geklappt - und um das zu erklären, muss ich ausholen.
Wenn ich Bücher lese, in denen ich mit den Figuren Marginalisiuerungen teile, ist immer ein Risiko da, dass es "too close to home" ist. Hier bin ich das Risiko bewusst eingegangen, weil ich gleichzeitig Repräsentation als wohltuend empfinde.
Wer meinen Twitter-Account kennt, weiß: Ich bin selbst erst vor gar nicht langer Zeit aus der Denial-Phase rausgegangen, was meine kinky Seite angeht. Ich bin außerdem jüdisch, autistisch, demi-ace und habe einige Probleme mit bleich beiden Perspektivträgerinnen gemein.
Was dazu führte, dass ich ständig Stellen markiert habe, weil ich sie mir hinter die Ohren schreiben wollte oder weil ich Dinge ähnlich erlebt habe oder oder oder und dass ich ständig Pausen beim Lesen gebraucht habe, weil ich eigene Issues zum Überlegen hatte.
So soll ein Buch ja eigentlich sein - die Axt für das gefrorene Meer (frei nach Kafka), aber Axthiebe tun weh, auch wenn sie notwendig sind.
Ich habe das Buch geliebt. Auch wenn - oder gerade weil - ich manche längeren Passagen mit Tränen in den Augen gelesen habe. Wer ein Buch sucht, in dem die Leute ganz selbstverständlich einfach sein dürfen und Probleme damit zwar immer mal (am Rande) thematisiert werden, aber nicht den Fokus darauf legen, wird damit sehr glücklich.
Die Figuren haben ganz normale Probleme, die sich zwar zum Teil aus ihren Marginalisierungen mit-speisen, weil beispielsweise Autismus nun mal alle Lebensbereiche in irgendeiner Form beeinflusst, die aber nicht das Kernthema bilden.
Es geht um zwei Personen, die im Laufe des Buches Dinge über sich selbst erlernen - und dabei eben AUCH marginalisiert sind.
Es tat gut,
- von Figuren zu lesen, die ganz selbstverständlich Stims benutzen, um sich gut zu tun, dies auch bewusst und bedacht tun, statt Stimming ausschließlich als Notreaktion zu verwenden - das ist etwas, das ich erst lernen muss.
- zu lesen, wie Menschen Chanukkah feiern - meine Familie ist zu assimiliert, sodass wir einfach das kommunistische Tannenbaumfest um eine Woche vorverlegten und es "Weihnachten" nannten und ich lebe mit einer christlichen Partnerperson zusammen. Mich literarisch mit jüdischen Bräuchen zu beschäftigen, auch wenn mein ursprünglicher Plan nicht funktioniert hat, verwurzelt.
- von Figuren zu lesen, die den Pfad zwischen ace-spec und kinky navigieren. Auch wenn es bei mir noch mal komplett anders ist, half es doch, in einem Buch von Menschen mit verwandten Problemen zu lesen und wie sie an diese herangegangen sind.
- Szenen voller Consent - das tut einfach gut zu lesen, wenn auch vor Umarmungen um Erlaubnis gefragt wird <3.
- Ideen für den Umgang mit sensorischen Issues zu lesen. Die habe ich nämlich selbst sehr oft.
(Eine Inhaltszusammenfassung spare ich mir, da der Klappentext es wesentlich besser zusammenfasst, als ich es könnte. Mir war in dieser Review wichtiger, zu betonen, was das Buch in mir ausgelöst hat und was mir beim Lesen wichtig war. Lesende, die wie ich schon mal um dieses Werk schleichen, bekommen so am ehesten einen Eindruck von dem, was sie erwartet.)
April 21, 2021
I picked up this ebook last year because the idea of two older women negotiating a BDSM relationship/lessons very much interested me. I’m very glad that I did.
This book does talk a lot about D/s and SM and kink. Heed the author’s warnings if any of these topics might make you the least bit uncomfortable.
Jordan is a pansexual, stone butch who just moved to NYC (or back to NYC, I’m not sure about that part). She is currently living with her best friend of 30 or so years, Leah. Jordan is recently divorced and, because her previous partner wasn’t into it, she’s finally being allowed to explore kink and her interest in it. Leah is experienced in the topic, being a submissive and an educator. For Chanukah she offers Jordan eight kink lessons based around basics and specific interests that Jordan has. However, the two find that the experience goes beyond what they had originally planned and that sometimes, feelings are unavoidable.
I loved the characters. The two mains are older (49 and 51), autistic, fat, with their own PTSD and mental/physical limits and disabilities. The characters are fully fleshed out with flaws and backgrounds that make them seem so real. The side characters and minor characters are made up of a variety of identities including several trans and nonbinary characters. It was great to read a book with so much representation where the representation was treated so positively. There were discussions about negative aspects of the identities and people who made life hard for those who are different, but they weren’t over prevalent in the book.
The entire book takes place between December 13 and December 31st. I was originally worried that this would mean that the relationship that developed felt too insta-love for me to fully back it, but that wasn’t the case. The history the two had together, including them both crushing on each other in college and not knowing/wanting to make a move, made the relationship feel natural. Like there was no way these two characters weren’t going to end up together. I also wouldn’t mind reading a follow-up book that includes more about their relationship, maybe even them exploring their shared non-monogamy stance.
I love the kink lessons that were shared in this book. There were the actual lessons that were given to Jordan, but there were also discussions of kink and various kink topics throughout the book. I didn’t expect to learn things while reading this book, but the book managed to throw in information about kink, drops, relationships, stereotypes and misconceptions, and other such ideas. It was amazing.
My only issue is that there wasn’t more to the book. I would have loved to read about more of their scenes or even the remaining lessons. A flashforward to the following Chanukah would have been great as well.
This is an amazing book and, if you’re fine with the warnings, I would definitely recommend that you pick this up and read it. It’s a great read and I love it so much.
This book does talk a lot about D/s and SM and kink. Heed the author’s warnings if any of these topics might make you the least bit uncomfortable.
Jordan is a pansexual, stone butch who just moved to NYC (or back to NYC, I’m not sure about that part). She is currently living with her best friend of 30 or so years, Leah. Jordan is recently divorced and, because her previous partner wasn’t into it, she’s finally being allowed to explore kink and her interest in it. Leah is experienced in the topic, being a submissive and an educator. For Chanukah she offers Jordan eight kink lessons based around basics and specific interests that Jordan has. However, the two find that the experience goes beyond what they had originally planned and that sometimes, feelings are unavoidable.
I loved the characters. The two mains are older (49 and 51), autistic, fat, with their own PTSD and mental/physical limits and disabilities. The characters are fully fleshed out with flaws and backgrounds that make them seem so real. The side characters and minor characters are made up of a variety of identities including several trans and nonbinary characters. It was great to read a book with so much representation where the representation was treated so positively. There were discussions about negative aspects of the identities and people who made life hard for those who are different, but they weren’t over prevalent in the book.
The entire book takes place between December 13 and December 31st. I was originally worried that this would mean that the relationship that developed felt too insta-love for me to fully back it, but that wasn’t the case. The history the two had together, including them both crushing on each other in college and not knowing/wanting to make a move, made the relationship feel natural. Like there was no way these two characters weren’t going to end up together. I also wouldn’t mind reading a follow-up book that includes more about their relationship, maybe even them exploring their shared non-monogamy stance.
I love the kink lessons that were shared in this book. There were the actual lessons that were given to Jordan, but there were also discussions of kink and various kink topics throughout the book. I didn’t expect to learn things while reading this book, but the book managed to throw in information about kink, drops, relationships, stereotypes and misconceptions, and other such ideas. It was amazing.
My only issue is that there wasn’t more to the book. I would have loved to read about more of their scenes or even the remaining lessons. A flashforward to the following Chanukah would have been great as well.
This is an amazing book and, if you’re fine with the warnings, I would definitely recommend that you pick this up and read it. It’s a great read and I love it so much.
January 8, 2022
Xan West is pseudonim. The author is (in their own words:) an autistic queer fat white Jewish genderqueer writer and community activist with multiple disabilities.
Their characters, in this book and others, are very much like them. Many are autistic (or somewhere on the spectrum), some of them have disabilities, lots of them are activists, and so on...
In the book Eight Kinky Nights, one MC is stone and the other MC is on the asexual spectrum. Both are autistic but have the tools to function and navigate their world. Both are into BDSM, singing, and Disney movies. Both are Jewish and try to keep their religious traditions alive despite being away from family. One is butch and both of them are fat and are very body-positive about themselves. It's a friend-to-lovers trope. You can see for yourselves just how many boxes I tick here, right?
Anyway, for those of you who dislike graphic sex descriptions, avoid BDSM descriptions, triggers of sexual/verbal/physical/parental abuse, or any other triggers - this is the book for you!!
The author devotes a few pages at the beginning to detail the kind of triggers that may show up. They list the exact location and make it very easy to avoid while you read. You can read a whole book about BDSM without having to read through the actual BDSM scenes. The characters negotiate a lot, talk and explain various aspects of their lives and make it very easy to go through the book fully understanding what's going on even if you're avoiding sex scenes, or BDSM scenes, or flashbacks to past abuse, etc.
The kind of sensitivity shown here, the level of details provided for the reader, blew my mind. The love story in the book is very gentle and delicate, full of hesitations and supported by advice from friends of the couple. In a way, it's another path to sensitivity 🙂 OK, so I highly recommend reading it. I think you understand that by now... right?
Also fun fact: the book provides a detailed playlist of all the music bits mentioned throughout the story (there are many!) and it's just fun to listen to while reading.
Their characters, in this book and others, are very much like them. Many are autistic (or somewhere on the spectrum), some of them have disabilities, lots of them are activists, and so on...
In the book Eight Kinky Nights, one MC is stone and the other MC is on the asexual spectrum. Both are autistic but have the tools to function and navigate their world. Both are into BDSM, singing, and Disney movies. Both are Jewish and try to keep their religious traditions alive despite being away from family. One is butch and both of them are fat and are very body-positive about themselves. It's a friend-to-lovers trope. You can see for yourselves just how many boxes I tick here, right?
Anyway, for those of you who dislike graphic sex descriptions, avoid BDSM descriptions, triggers of sexual/verbal/physical/parental abuse, or any other triggers - this is the book for you!!
The author devotes a few pages at the beginning to detail the kind of triggers that may show up. They list the exact location and make it very easy to avoid while you read. You can read a whole book about BDSM without having to read through the actual BDSM scenes. The characters negotiate a lot, talk and explain various aspects of their lives and make it very easy to go through the book fully understanding what's going on even if you're avoiding sex scenes, or BDSM scenes, or flashbacks to past abuse, etc.
The kind of sensitivity shown here, the level of details provided for the reader, blew my mind. The love story in the book is very gentle and delicate, full of hesitations and supported by advice from friends of the couple. In a way, it's another path to sensitivity 🙂 OK, so I highly recommend reading it. I think you understand that by now... right?
Also fun fact: the book provides a detailed playlist of all the music bits mentioned throughout the story (there are many!) and it's just fun to listen to while reading.
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