What do you think?
Rate this book
Useful Delusions: The Power and Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain
From the New York Times best-selling author and host of Hidden Brain comes a thought-provoking look at the role of self-deception in human flourishing.
Self-deception does terrible harm to us, to our communities, and to the planet. But if it is so bad for us, why is it ubiquitous? In Useful Delusions, Shankar Vedantam and Bill Mesler argue that, paradoxically, self-deception can also play a vital role in our success and well-being.
The lies we tell ourselves sustain our daily interactions with friends, lovers, and coworkers. They can explain why some people live longer than others, why some couples remain in love and others don’t, why some nations hold together while others splinter.
Filled with powerful personal stories and drawing on new insights in psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy, Useful Delusions offers a fascinating tour of what it really means to be human.
Self-deception does terrible harm to us, to our communities, and to the planet. But if it is so bad for us, why is it ubiquitous? In Useful Delusions, Shankar Vedantam and Bill Mesler argue that, paradoxically, self-deception can also play a vital role in our success and well-being.
The lies we tell ourselves sustain our daily interactions with friends, lovers, and coworkers. They can explain why some people live longer than others, why some couples remain in love and others don’t, why some nations hold together while others splinter.
Filled with powerful personal stories and drawing on new insights in psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy, Useful Delusions offers a fascinating tour of what it really means to be human.
272 pages, ebook
First published March 2, 2021
About the author
Shankar Vedantam
8 books139 followersShankar Vedantam is host of the Hidden Brain podcast and public radio show and the author of The Hidden Brain, a New York Times national bestseller. He lives in Washington, DC.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 206 reviews
March 31, 2021
Q:
We are not just in a war with con artists, conspiracy theorists and demagogues. We are in a war with ourselves. Our minds are not designed to see the truth, but to show us selective slices of reality, and to prompt us toward predetermined goals. Even worse, they are designed to do all this while giving us the illusion that we are seeing reality. We can believe that we are thinking clearly, acting rationally and fighting for the truth, even as we are beguiled into seeing what is functional for our groups, our families and ourselves—and imagining it to be the truth. (c)
Q:
One criticism that both Democrats and Republicans made of President Donald Trump is that he lacked a filter. If he thought Mexicans coming over the border were rapists, he said so. Of course, another term to describe such behavior is “candor.” You knew where you stood when you spoke with The Donald, since he made his mind abundantly clear in a stream of tweets, insults and inflated claims. For a long time, Americans dreamed of getting a president who was “authentic.” But throughout the Trump presidency, most Democrats, and large numbers of Republicans, wished they could install a filter between Trump’s brain and his mouth. They wanted him to shut up about things he clearly believed were true. (c)
Q:
Oddly, given how much we say we care about the truth, we don’t have positive things to say about people who just say what is on their minds. We don’t have a word for someone who doesn’t lie enough when the rules of social engagement demand it. But we know such people when we see them. They come across as cold or cruel. (c)
Q:
If we were stronger and wiser creatures—less Lear-like—you could simply tell us the truth and we would welcome it. But since we are vain and insecure, fearful and petty, fragile and weak, only a fool presents the unvarnished truth and expects to be properly heard. (c)
Q:
Rudeness in the workplace can impair how we think and act. In one experiment, volunteers asked to show up at a lab were greeted by a “professor” who told them that the meeting room had changed. Some volunteers were politely directed to another room. Others were told: “Can’t you read? There is a sign on the door that tells you that the experiment will be in [a different room]. But you didn’t even bother to look at the door, did you? Instead, you preferred to disturb me and ask for directions when you can clearly see that I am busy. I am not a secretary here, I am a busy professor.” Volunteers spoken to rudely subsequently solved fewer anagram puzzles, and demonstrated less creativity when it came to thinking up different uses for a brick. They were also less helpful to others. Nearly three-quarters of the volunteers spoken to politely helped another person pick up dropped books without being asked. Of the volunteers spoken to rudely, not even a quarter offered unsolicited help. (c) This is probably one of the mechanisms of how horrible workplaces impair people.
Q:
The researchers set up an experiment. Subjects with and without depression were asked to press a button next to a blinking green light. Volunteers were asked to judge how much influence their button pressing had over the light’s blinking. Traditionally, people suffering from depression were thought to harbor an unrealistically negative view of the world—a delusional negativity was seen to be the cause of their despondency. Alloy and Abramson were surprised to find depressed people showed a “surprising degree of accuracy” in judging how the blinking light was affected by their manipulation of the button. Meanwhile, the non-depressed subjects consistently overrated their ability to control the blinking light. In other words, the gap between the groups was not caused by the healthy group seeing reality clearly and the depressed people seeing the world with delusional pessimism. No, the “healthy” group had a delusion of control while their “unhealthy” counterparts were seeing reality clearly. The subtitle of the psychologists’ paper was “Sadder but Wiser. (c)
We are not just in a war with con artists, conspiracy theorists and demagogues. We are in a war with ourselves. Our minds are not designed to see the truth, but to show us selective slices of reality, and to prompt us toward predetermined goals. Even worse, they are designed to do all this while giving us the illusion that we are seeing reality. We can believe that we are thinking clearly, acting rationally and fighting for the truth, even as we are beguiled into seeing what is functional for our groups, our families and ourselves—and imagining it to be the truth. (c)
Q:
One criticism that both Democrats and Republicans made of President Donald Trump is that he lacked a filter. If he thought Mexicans coming over the border were rapists, he said so. Of course, another term to describe such behavior is “candor.” You knew where you stood when you spoke with The Donald, since he made his mind abundantly clear in a stream of tweets, insults and inflated claims. For a long time, Americans dreamed of getting a president who was “authentic.” But throughout the Trump presidency, most Democrats, and large numbers of Republicans, wished they could install a filter between Trump’s brain and his mouth. They wanted him to shut up about things he clearly believed were true. (c)
Q:
Oddly, given how much we say we care about the truth, we don’t have positive things to say about people who just say what is on their minds. We don’t have a word for someone who doesn’t lie enough when the rules of social engagement demand it. But we know such people when we see them. They come across as cold or cruel. (c)
Q:
If we were stronger and wiser creatures—less Lear-like—you could simply tell us the truth and we would welcome it. But since we are vain and insecure, fearful and petty, fragile and weak, only a fool presents the unvarnished truth and expects to be properly heard. (c)
Q:
Rudeness in the workplace can impair how we think and act. In one experiment, volunteers asked to show up at a lab were greeted by a “professor” who told them that the meeting room had changed. Some volunteers were politely directed to another room. Others were told: “Can’t you read? There is a sign on the door that tells you that the experiment will be in [a different room]. But you didn’t even bother to look at the door, did you? Instead, you preferred to disturb me and ask for directions when you can clearly see that I am busy. I am not a secretary here, I am a busy professor.” Volunteers spoken to rudely subsequently solved fewer anagram puzzles, and demonstrated less creativity when it came to thinking up different uses for a brick. They were also less helpful to others. Nearly three-quarters of the volunteers spoken to politely helped another person pick up dropped books without being asked. Of the volunteers spoken to rudely, not even a quarter offered unsolicited help. (c) This is probably one of the mechanisms of how horrible workplaces impair people.
Q:
The researchers set up an experiment. Subjects with and without depression were asked to press a button next to a blinking green light. Volunteers were asked to judge how much influence their button pressing had over the light’s blinking. Traditionally, people suffering from depression were thought to harbor an unrealistically negative view of the world—a delusional negativity was seen to be the cause of their despondency. Alloy and Abramson were surprised to find depressed people showed a “surprising degree of accuracy” in judging how the blinking light was affected by their manipulation of the button. Meanwhile, the non-depressed subjects consistently overrated their ability to control the blinking light. In other words, the gap between the groups was not caused by the healthy group seeing reality clearly and the depressed people seeing the world with delusional pessimism. No, the “healthy” group had a delusion of control while their “unhealthy” counterparts were seeing reality clearly. The subtitle of the psychologists’ paper was “Sadder but Wiser. (c)
December 5, 2021
When was the last time you told a lie to a friend, a coworker, or even yourself? The author is willing to bet the answer is…pretty recently. This book digs into all the little lies we tell ourselves on a regular basis for various purposes, such as self-preservation, belonging, or survival. The author is a self-proclaimed realist and believes strongly in the powers of science and logic, but he acknowledges that self-deception can sometimes play a functional role in our lives. We are all taught that lying is bad and we should be honest at all times, but the book shows that focusing more on what we want to believe rather than the truth in certain circumstances can actually lead to more positive outcomes. It’s not a blanket endorsement for ignoring the truth since self-deception can be destructive in a number of situations, but sometimes there’s no harm in doing or believing things you know are silly or illogical, and it could actually be doing you some good.
The book broadly covers the topic from the small deceptions of telling someone you like their haircut when you really don’t, to how self-deceptions play into the success of romantic relationships, to how large groups of people end up following the same deceptions. The most thought-provoking parts of the book for me were chapters 9 and 10 where the author explores how self-deceptions play into our beliefs of nationalism, death and religion. I feel like some of the examples were over-simplified to fit the anecdote to the topic at hand (this was my general feeling throughout the book), but the author got me thinking about these big concepts in a new light, such as how do you actually define “nation” and how the creation of defined countries altered the purpose of religion.
It was a quick and worthwhile read. I recommend it if you enjoy human psychology and exploring why we behave the way we do, especially when it seems illogical.
Next Big Idea Club Reading Selection - July 2021
The book broadly covers the topic from the small deceptions of telling someone you like their haircut when you really don’t, to how self-deceptions play into the success of romantic relationships, to how large groups of people end up following the same deceptions. The most thought-provoking parts of the book for me were chapters 9 and 10 where the author explores how self-deceptions play into our beliefs of nationalism, death and religion. I feel like some of the examples were over-simplified to fit the anecdote to the topic at hand (this was my general feeling throughout the book), but the author got me thinking about these big concepts in a new light, such as how do you actually define “nation” and how the creation of defined countries altered the purpose of religion.
It was a quick and worthwhile read. I recommend it if you enjoy human psychology and exploring why we behave the way we do, especially when it seems illogical.
Next Big Idea Club Reading Selection - July 2021
January 2, 2021
We’re all constantly deluded. In fact, people’s lives could often be improved if only they were a bit more deluded. This is the surprising message of ‘Useful Delusions.’
The book presents two different perspectives. On the one hand there is a fascinating catalogue of examples of deceptions and foibles. Then there is an argument and conclusion that deception is good for us and, we should do it more.
I enjoyed the descriptive side of the book. We hear how people tricked by fake churches rejected attempts to ‘save’ them. We hear of placebo effects (17%) and fake medicine which has real effects. We hear of Military cults which became successful because they believed they were bullet proof (62%). We hear of customers with very different views about Toyota Corollas and Geo Prizm’s, even though they are exactly the same car (26%). And there are many, many more examples of illusions, delusions and deceptions.
One of the surprising conclusions of these examples is that deception is genuinely good for us. For example, when people tasted a wine which they mistakenly thought was expensive, brain scans showed that they had genuinely increased sensations of pleasure (28%).
The argumentative side of the book was less convincing. The book makes the point that we are all lying for much of the time. And the world would be a better place if we lied more. Indeed, the author suggests that our whole obsession with truth is just a mistake and we should focus on what works, not on what is true (89%).
This ‘pragmatism’ can seem to be seductively attractive. But as a policy idea it quickly collapses. The reason why deception and lying works (when it does work) is because people think it is not lying. Deception is only possible against a backdrop of normality which rejects lying. If we had a world where everyone thought that it was good to lie all the time, then no one would be able to trust anyone else, and so relationships and society would quickly fall apart. Normalising lying and deception is therefore an impossible idea.
A key problem with the book is that it never clarifies what it means by lying and deception. Language is complicated and some statements can be both true and false. For example, ‘the boy is a pig’ may be literally false, whilst also being metaphorically true. This means falsity does not entail lying (or deception). The book doesn’t recognise this kind of sophistication, so its assumptions about truth and lies are sometimes too simplistic.
This over-simplification also occurs when the author claims that social etiquette and ritual language are examples of daily lying. For example, the question ‘how are you?’ generally elicits a ritualistic reply of ‘I’m very well thank you, how are you?’ Is it a lie to say this when you have a headache? These are complicated questions within the philosophy of language, but they are not explored in the book. This means that the author is making assumptions about what counts as lying, without actually explaining or defending those assumptions.
Overall, I enjoyed the examples and anecdotes, and I appreciated the 10% of the book devoted to additional notes. But I was disappointed by the book’s arguments and conclusions, as they seemed too simplistic.
(These comments are based on a copy of the text kindly donated by the publishers for the purposes of review).
The book presents two different perspectives. On the one hand there is a fascinating catalogue of examples of deceptions and foibles. Then there is an argument and conclusion that deception is good for us and, we should do it more.
I enjoyed the descriptive side of the book. We hear how people tricked by fake churches rejected attempts to ‘save’ them. We hear of placebo effects (17%) and fake medicine which has real effects. We hear of Military cults which became successful because they believed they were bullet proof (62%). We hear of customers with very different views about Toyota Corollas and Geo Prizm’s, even though they are exactly the same car (26%). And there are many, many more examples of illusions, delusions and deceptions.
One of the surprising conclusions of these examples is that deception is genuinely good for us. For example, when people tasted a wine which they mistakenly thought was expensive, brain scans showed that they had genuinely increased sensations of pleasure (28%).
The argumentative side of the book was less convincing. The book makes the point that we are all lying for much of the time. And the world would be a better place if we lied more. Indeed, the author suggests that our whole obsession with truth is just a mistake and we should focus on what works, not on what is true (89%).
This ‘pragmatism’ can seem to be seductively attractive. But as a policy idea it quickly collapses. The reason why deception and lying works (when it does work) is because people think it is not lying. Deception is only possible against a backdrop of normality which rejects lying. If we had a world where everyone thought that it was good to lie all the time, then no one would be able to trust anyone else, and so relationships and society would quickly fall apart. Normalising lying and deception is therefore an impossible idea.
A key problem with the book is that it never clarifies what it means by lying and deception. Language is complicated and some statements can be both true and false. For example, ‘the boy is a pig’ may be literally false, whilst also being metaphorically true. This means falsity does not entail lying (or deception). The book doesn’t recognise this kind of sophistication, so its assumptions about truth and lies are sometimes too simplistic.
This over-simplification also occurs when the author claims that social etiquette and ritual language are examples of daily lying. For example, the question ‘how are you?’ generally elicits a ritualistic reply of ‘I’m very well thank you, how are you?’ Is it a lie to say this when you have a headache? These are complicated questions within the philosophy of language, but they are not explored in the book. This means that the author is making assumptions about what counts as lying, without actually explaining or defending those assumptions.
Overall, I enjoyed the examples and anecdotes, and I appreciated the 10% of the book devoted to additional notes. But I was disappointed by the book’s arguments and conclusions, as they seemed too simplistic.
(These comments are based on a copy of the text kindly donated by the publishers for the purposes of review).
April 4, 2022
If you ask most people what they think of lying, they will very likely say that it is something they avoid as much as they can, since it's considered to be a very frowned upon act that is bound to ruin anyone's reputation if they're caught in the act. We as a society claim to treasure honesty and transparency as sacred values we should all live by, and no one wants to be branded as a liar. However, like so many other aspects of life, this book claims that our self-proclaimed virtues of honesty are nothing more than illusions, since, in fact, most of us lie much more often than we tell the truth throughout the day. The author goes as far as to claim that we actually tend to prefer liars over people who tell us the truth. If you go to work one day and smile at your colleague, wishing them a good morning and asking how they are, you will likely not appreciate it if they end up telling you how irritating it is for them to have to see your face everyday and fake liking you and having to make small talk with you before their morning coffee right before spending another 8 hours slaving away at work, instead of being with people they actually care about at some resort in Hawaii. Lying, in fact, has its useful sides as well, and is a good lubricant to make social situations pass by more smoothly. The author goes one step further, making the point that we not only lie to others, but we often lie to ourselves quite regularly as well, and this self-deception is necessary for our survival.
“one reason people cling to false beliefs is because self-deception can sometimes be functional—it enables us to accomplish useful social, psychological or biological goals. Holding false beliefs is not always the mark of idiocy, pathology or villainy.”
This is a light and fun read, where the author uses many anecdotes from real life, such as the infamous Church of Love scandal, where a con-artist managed to make hundreds of men fall in love with fictional women who send them letters, telling them how much they cherish them and the deep connection they built together, asking for regular "love offerings" in the form of money to meet their needs, to prove that human beings tend to relish in fantasies that help them feel better in life. Many victims of this scam actually defended the con-artist at court, since he made them feel loved and cherished during the most difficult moments of their lives. The author proceeds to say that believing in lies and fantasy is actually a process encouraged by evolution, citing statistics which show that people who engage in fantastical thinking (including religion) tend to live longer than those who don't. He cites examples which show that depressed people tend to see life more clearly for what it truly is, while healthy people tend to add their own subjective spin to their perception. Veiled criticisms aimed at hardcore realists are to be found in various chapters in this book, showing that most people who claim to be realists tend to be privileged. He notes that the world's most impoverished locations tend to have the highest numbers of religious people, as well as the existence of very brutal and physically and mentally taxing rituals such as walking on burning coal or crucifixion. Bizarre rituals even exist in the comparatively accessible western world, such as rituals right before a football game or those done in military school. The fascinating thing is that people who engage in such rituals tend to be happier and perform better at various tasks, showing that people who believe in something greater than themselves, whether it's a deity or some cause or a social or group cause, tend to excel more.
“Delusional overconfidence is very bad for many men as individuals, but the researchers found that as a group, it helps men succeed.”
This book does a nice job showing us biases that cloud our perception of life, but instead of treating it as a problem that must be solved, it pushes the narrative that this approach has proved quite effective at helping us survive as a species. Around the end of the book, the author borrows some ideas from Yuval Noah Harari's book "Sapiens", showing us how mass-delusions such as the belief in the existence of intangible things like culture and nations have succeeded in uniting millions of people under shared causes, and this unity and strength in numbers has led to groundbreaking achievements in humanity. Although I also enjoyed this part of the book, it felt like a regurgitation of Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, which I really enjoyed and reviewed here.
This is an interesting perspective on the necessity of fantasy in life, and draws a clear distinction between what is true and what works. Some examples of how far certain lies can influence people's behaviour are comical, such as the fact that people who drink two cups of the same type of wine but think one is a more expensive brand claim to enjoy it more, and people even having the same reaction to tap water being given to them under the name of a luxurious brand.
In conclusion, let's not judge lies and delusions too harshly, sometimes, they're what get us through seemingly insurmountable difficulties, both on a micro and macro scale.
“We need hope in order to function, but the world gives us endless reasons not to be hopeful. For most people on the planet, to forswear self-deception is to invite despair and dysfunction.”
April 26, 2021
Are you a really positive person?
If so, reading this book can reduce your lifespan by 9 months or more.
So...keep that in mind.
If you're reading this review and you've read 3 or more psychology or neuroscience books (even Sapiens counts here) in the last decade, you probably don't need to buy this book. If you haven't read at least 3 psych books, you'd probably enjoy this a lot. The author is a competent storyteller and generally an engaging writer. If you're not used to nonfiction, you can no doubt still fly through this. It's not super dense, but you'll learn a bunch. The main theme of the book is that delusions can actually boost performance and wellbeing. They're also around for a reason, and usually go away to some extent when the issues are taken care of in other ways.
Have you heard of the Church of Love? There was a very touching section in this book about the whole scam, and how the victims actually came to the defense of the conman behind it. I think this could work as a Netflix series.
My rating is definitely influenced by context, as the last couple of nonfiction books I read presented pretty original thoughts that were new to me, while this book seemed like more of a summary and synthesis of things I've heard of.
But guess what? I got my lucky socks on tonight...
If so, reading this book can reduce your lifespan by 9 months or more.
So...keep that in mind.
If you're reading this review and you've read 3 or more psychology or neuroscience books (even Sapiens counts here) in the last decade, you probably don't need to buy this book. If you haven't read at least 3 psych books, you'd probably enjoy this a lot. The author is a competent storyteller and generally an engaging writer. If you're not used to nonfiction, you can no doubt still fly through this. It's not super dense, but you'll learn a bunch. The main theme of the book is that delusions can actually boost performance and wellbeing. They're also around for a reason, and usually go away to some extent when the issues are taken care of in other ways.
Have you heard of the Church of Love? There was a very touching section in this book about the whole scam, and how the victims actually came to the defense of the conman behind it. I think this could work as a Netflix series.
My rating is definitely influenced by context, as the last couple of nonfiction books I read presented pretty original thoughts that were new to me, while this book seemed like more of a summary and synthesis of things I've heard of.
But guess what? I got my lucky socks on tonight...
January 16, 2021
I was excited to see a book by Shankar Vedantam because I’m a fan of his Hidden Brain podcast. It’s not hard to understand that we all engage in varying levels of self-deception oftentimes just to smooth over interpersonal transactions, get through tough personal times and create social bonds. Vendantam uses his trademark style to share a variety of examples ranging from standard issue white lies to a rather wild romantic con to the surprising prevalence of placebo effects to the under appreciated role of religious rituals. But what happens when the development of some beliefs lead to social fracturing and divisiveness? The book only starts to touch on some of this in the last chapters with a look at ISIS and Nazis. There are some brief mentions of the current socio-political climate. While it’s possible to extract your own conclusions, I wish it had been explored more specifically. I wish there were some discussion on how to counter the spread of truly harmful delusions. Vedantam acknowledges that his intention is to show a positive side to self-deception not to embrace all delusional thinking. For sure, humans need hope and optimism to survive, but when the subsequent narrative results in serious self-harm, or threats and violence to those outside a specific group, we have to acknowledge that the self-deceiving brain, the rejection of science, reason and logic, is also a very real danger. The big question that needs answers is what to do about it. Sadly, I think I would’ve been more receptive to the idea of “useful delusions” if the political climate were not what it is today. It’s still an engaging and thought-provoking read though. Thank you to W.W. Norton for providing me with an advance reading copy.
December 3, 2020
Sometimes you’re better off letting people lie to you, and even lying to yourself. That’s the surprising, but well-argued, conclusion of Useful Delusions. Some people, for example, corresponded with romantic pen pals for years, sending money and other gifts. But their pen pals didn’t actually exist. They were fictions created in a scam called the Church of Love. Were the gift-givers, then, victims of fraud? You’d think so. But some of them resented that the letter-writers had been arrested and even testified in their defense. The belief they were in a loving relationship had been a positive one, they said.
Okay, that’s an extreme case. But the authors point out so many other ways in which self-deception is actually helpful to us.
Most of us act as if we’re happy to see customers and co-workers, even when we aren’t—and they do the same for us. We get more enjoyment out of things we pay more for, even when they’re identical to lower-priced options. Patients who believe they’ll live longer than the data would suggest do, in fact, tend to live longer.
Here’s the thing: Our brains are great at passing on our genes to the next generation, and not so great at perceiving objective reality in every detail. The mental shortcuts baked into our operating system give us a somewhat accurate and mostly useful idea of what’s going on. When we find ourselves in a truly dystopian situation like being a civilian during a genocidal civil war, experiencing a ritual for bulletproofing might actually help to keep you alive. On the other hand, patriotic and religious beliefs can preserve an entire society even as they cost individual people their lives.
This book is well-organized, and easy to pick up again after a break. A few fascinating stories of extreme self-deception (like the pen pals) weave throughout the narrative, showing up to illustrate a point or to delve deeper into the case study. Since it isn’t designed for academic use, there’s no index—but the well-planned organization of chapters certainly helps.
I am grateful to the authors, the publisher, and NetGalley for a free advance review copy.
Okay, that’s an extreme case. But the authors point out so many other ways in which self-deception is actually helpful to us.
Most of us act as if we’re happy to see customers and co-workers, even when we aren’t—and they do the same for us. We get more enjoyment out of things we pay more for, even when they’re identical to lower-priced options. Patients who believe they’ll live longer than the data would suggest do, in fact, tend to live longer.
Here’s the thing: Our brains are great at passing on our genes to the next generation, and not so great at perceiving objective reality in every detail. The mental shortcuts baked into our operating system give us a somewhat accurate and mostly useful idea of what’s going on. When we find ourselves in a truly dystopian situation like being a civilian during a genocidal civil war, experiencing a ritual for bulletproofing might actually help to keep you alive. On the other hand, patriotic and religious beliefs can preserve an entire society even as they cost individual people their lives.
This book is well-organized, and easy to pick up again after a break. A few fascinating stories of extreme self-deception (like the pen pals) weave throughout the narrative, showing up to illustrate a point or to delve deeper into the case study. Since it isn’t designed for academic use, there’s no index—but the well-planned organization of chapters certainly helps.
I am grateful to the authors, the publisher, and NetGalley for a free advance review copy.
March 8, 2021
Useful Delusions: The Power and Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain is the fascinating new book from Shankar Vedantam, longtime science correspondent and host of the radio podcast Hidden Brain, and co-written by science writer Bill Mesler, which posits that a certain amount of delusion is essential for our well being and our will to live. It builds on ideas from The Hidden Brain and explores the frequent utility, and occasional necessity, of intuitive and nonrational thinking. Not only are we delusional, we actually evolved that way via natural selection because cheerful blindness about some aspects of life helps us survive better. The classic example is something like climate change, right? The evidence for climate change is quite dramatic, quite persuasive. It comes to us from different fields of study: environmental science, pollution studies, oceanography, the study of the Arctic and sea life and species decline. There are just so many different ways in which you can see how climate change is affecting us. And yet, vast numbers of people either don't believe in climate change, or if they believe in it, they don't act as if they believe in it. It doesn't actually change their behavior. And we keep acting like that the 367th study is going to convince people when the first 366 studies have not.
Much of the time, our behavior is not shaped by what is rational; it’s shaped by habits, by norms, by our cultures, by our beliefs. These are the things that are powerful in shaping our views. So if you want to fight climate change, you have to be able to enlist those beliefs, which are not necessarily the domain of the logical, rational brain. We may need to use older, emotion-based systems to accomplish those goals. Many interesting and unsettling examples are given to prove their point, including how our response to the question “how are you?” is quite often dishonest but that the asker really wasn't looking for an honest answer. In the late 1980s, a group known as ”The Church of Love” sent affectionate letters allegedly from anguished young women to lonely men, many of whom not only invested substantial time and effort writing back but who also sent substantial amounts of money. At the trial of the mastermind, many of the victims, despite being informed of the facts, passionately defended him. They also address the placebo effect which makes for intriguing reading and the delusional facade people portray on social media. Its well known that those more in touch with what is realistically happening across the world are more depressed than those who delude themselves into thinking that everything is okay. I can certainly attest to the fact that being a realist can impact not only your mental health but physical too.
Whether we are talking about religion, relationships, medicine, or commerce, the ways in which our brains trick us (or lead us to be easily tricked by others) can certainly be harmful or even deadly. We also harshly judge others for being so easily tricked. But crippling existential dread is not conducive to human flourishing, even if it constitutes the last word in "getting real" or "being truthful." Many of our useful delusions can promote our health and our well-being in numerous ways, and the writers argue that this is profoundly important. They maintain that some deceptions are functional and enable us ”to accomplish useful social, psychological, or biological goals. Holding false beliefs is not always the mark of idiocy, pathology, or villainy.” What follows is an urging for everyone to be compassionate and consider others' perspectives even if they seem irrational, illogical or untrue. Referencing both historical resources and popular culture, the authors show how the lies we tell are often societal niceties. This is a fascinating read that is accessible and extensively researched and it's interesting to see a meditation on the positive side of delusional thinking and a well-constructed counter argument to those books that explore the downside of self-deception; I tend to agree with most of what was presented. It's an engaging, ingenious and deeply convincing account of why people believe stupid things. Highly recommended.
Much of the time, our behavior is not shaped by what is rational; it’s shaped by habits, by norms, by our cultures, by our beliefs. These are the things that are powerful in shaping our views. So if you want to fight climate change, you have to be able to enlist those beliefs, which are not necessarily the domain of the logical, rational brain. We may need to use older, emotion-based systems to accomplish those goals. Many interesting and unsettling examples are given to prove their point, including how our response to the question “how are you?” is quite often dishonest but that the asker really wasn't looking for an honest answer. In the late 1980s, a group known as ”The Church of Love” sent affectionate letters allegedly from anguished young women to lonely men, many of whom not only invested substantial time and effort writing back but who also sent substantial amounts of money. At the trial of the mastermind, many of the victims, despite being informed of the facts, passionately defended him. They also address the placebo effect which makes for intriguing reading and the delusional facade people portray on social media. Its well known that those more in touch with what is realistically happening across the world are more depressed than those who delude themselves into thinking that everything is okay. I can certainly attest to the fact that being a realist can impact not only your mental health but physical too.
Whether we are talking about religion, relationships, medicine, or commerce, the ways in which our brains trick us (or lead us to be easily tricked by others) can certainly be harmful or even deadly. We also harshly judge others for being so easily tricked. But crippling existential dread is not conducive to human flourishing, even if it constitutes the last word in "getting real" or "being truthful." Many of our useful delusions can promote our health and our well-being in numerous ways, and the writers argue that this is profoundly important. They maintain that some deceptions are functional and enable us ”to accomplish useful social, psychological, or biological goals. Holding false beliefs is not always the mark of idiocy, pathology, or villainy.” What follows is an urging for everyone to be compassionate and consider others' perspectives even if they seem irrational, illogical or untrue. Referencing both historical resources and popular culture, the authors show how the lies we tell are often societal niceties. This is a fascinating read that is accessible and extensively researched and it's interesting to see a meditation on the positive side of delusional thinking and a well-constructed counter argument to those books that explore the downside of self-deception; I tend to agree with most of what was presented. It's an engaging, ingenious and deeply convincing account of why people believe stupid things. Highly recommended.
June 5, 2021
Useful Delusions contains captivating real life stories and brief references to studies which frame our delusions in a particular way: namely, they highlight the benefits rather than the usual (and many instances of) negative results of our species' aptitude for delusions. While I was expecting something much more in depth, this book maintains the easy-going, light nature of author Shankar Vedantam's excellent Hidden Brain podcast. It's true that this book presents expanded and detailed versions of a selection of podcast episodes, but I was particularly impressed at segments which simply wouldn't work well in the podcast format, such as full letters front the Church of Love (a prominent topic also discussed in the early days of Hidden Brain). These are fascinating, and while I wish other segments of the book had the sort of depth found here, they're still very entertaining and eye-opening, albeit in more bitesized chunks.
There are some excellent stories about the placebo effect, a topic which fascinates me, and while these again have mostly been talked about in the podcast, they are very relevant to the book's message.
The overarching theme of the book leans heavily into us having more empathy for those experiencing delusions, as many studies show that delusions are beneficial to our mental health and evolution. This includes religion, and the authors makes some excellent arguments for why those of us with rational minds shouldn't dismiss religion outright. It's an interesting discourse, and is something I've struggled with personally over the years - should I belittle devout Christians for example, when the social ties, and belief in a divine being go a long way to making life worth living? There are certainly many problems with religion that this book doesn't address (with the clause that these are well documented elsewhere and often discussed) but the moral implications of taking away a person's religion are very real.
Shankar Vedantam and Bill Mesler show wisdom and empathy through the articulate thesis which forms the backbone of Useful Delusions. This is well worth reading if you're a fan of Hidden Brain, or if you're interested in social psychology. I also like having it on my bookshelf as a physical reference for some of the ideas from the Hidden Brain podcast!
There are some excellent stories about the placebo effect, a topic which fascinates me, and while these again have mostly been talked about in the podcast, they are very relevant to the book's message.
The overarching theme of the book leans heavily into us having more empathy for those experiencing delusions, as many studies show that delusions are beneficial to our mental health and evolution. This includes religion, and the authors makes some excellent arguments for why those of us with rational minds shouldn't dismiss religion outright. It's an interesting discourse, and is something I've struggled with personally over the years - should I belittle devout Christians for example, when the social ties, and belief in a divine being go a long way to making life worth living? There are certainly many problems with religion that this book doesn't address (with the clause that these are well documented elsewhere and often discussed) but the moral implications of taking away a person's religion are very real.
Shankar Vedantam and Bill Mesler show wisdom and empathy through the articulate thesis which forms the backbone of Useful Delusions. This is well worth reading if you're a fan of Hidden Brain, or if you're interested in social psychology. I also like having it on my bookshelf as a physical reference for some of the ideas from the Hidden Brain podcast!
May 15, 2021
Seemed like the perfect choice to read immediately after Why Fish Don't Exist, ¿que no? — and it was. The two complement each other nicely, albeit oh-so-depressingly. Basically, it sucks to be a realist, and humanity is doomed.
If you've been paying attention, there's little new material in this book. What's new and interesting and freaky and disturbing is Vedantam's final take-home: that we can't fight superstition or delusion (which I've long known) so we should find ways to work with it instead. And that's just too discouraging to contemplate so I'm just going to hope that some Charismatic Enlightened Despot reads this book, takes it to heart, and fixes things. Because otherwise we're done for.
If you've been paying attention, there's little new material in this book. What's new and interesting and freaky and disturbing is Vedantam's final take-home: that we can't fight superstition or delusion (which I've long known) so we should find ways to work with it instead. And that's just too discouraging to contemplate so I'm just going to hope that some Charismatic Enlightened Despot reads this book, takes it to heart, and fixes things. Because otherwise we're done for.
December 3, 2020
Sometimes you’re better off letting people lie to you, and even lying to yourself. That’s the surprising, but well-argued, conclusion of Useful Delusions. Some people, for example, corresponded with romantic pen pals for years, sending money and other gifts. But their pen pals didn’t actually exist. They were fictions created in a scam called the Church of Love. Were the gift-givers, then, victims of fraud? You’d think so. But some of them resented that the letter-writers had been arrested and even testified in their defense. The belief they were in a loving relationship had been a positive one, they said.
Okay, that’s an extreme case. But the authors point out so many other ways in which self-deception is actually helpful to us.
Most of us act as if we’re happy to see customers and co-workers, even when we aren’t—and they do the same for us. We get more enjoyment out of things we pay more for, even when they’re identical to lower-priced options. Patients who believe they’ll live longer than the data would suggest do, in fact, tend to live longer.
Here’s the thing: Our brains are great at passing on our genes to the next generation, and not so great at perceiving objective reality in every detail. The mental shortcuts baked into our operating system give us a somewhat accurate and mostly useful idea of what’s going on. When we find ourselves in a truly dystopian situation like being a civilian during a genocidal civil war, experiencing a ritual for bulletproofing might actually help to keep you alive. On the other hand, patriotic and religious beliefs can preserve an entire society even as they cost individual people their lives.
This book is well-organized, and easy to pick up again after a break. A few fascinating stories of extreme self-deception (like the pen pals) weave throughout the narrative, showing up to illustrate a point or to delve deeper into the case study. Since it isn’t designed for academic use, there’s no index—but the well-planned organization of chapters certainly helps.
I am grateful to the authors, the publisher, and NetGalley for a free advance review copy.
Okay, that’s an extreme case. But the authors point out so many other ways in which self-deception is actually helpful to us.
Most of us act as if we’re happy to see customers and co-workers, even when we aren’t—and they do the same for us. We get more enjoyment out of things we pay more for, even when they’re identical to lower-priced options. Patients who believe they’ll live longer than the data would suggest do, in fact, tend to live longer.
Here’s the thing: Our brains are great at passing on our genes to the next generation, and not so great at perceiving objective reality in every detail. The mental shortcuts baked into our operating system give us a somewhat accurate and mostly useful idea of what’s going on. When we find ourselves in a truly dystopian situation like being a civilian during a genocidal civil war, experiencing a ritual for bulletproofing might actually help to keep you alive. On the other hand, patriotic and religious beliefs can preserve an entire society even as they cost individual people their lives.
This book is well-organized, and easy to pick up again after a break. A few fascinating stories of extreme self-deception (like the pen pals) weave throughout the narrative, showing up to illustrate a point or to delve deeper into the case study. Since it isn’t designed for academic use, there’s no index—but the well-planned organization of chapters certainly helps.
I am grateful to the authors, the publisher, and NetGalley for a free advance review copy.
January 30, 2021
This was better than I thought it was going to be and I enjoyed the insights this author had about other people's "truths." However, this was highly opinion based and not backed by much research. Some of the observations were spot on, at times for how we as people perceive other people around us. I was just left with an ok feeling after reading this. Easy to read this in a few days. Overall, just ok by me but other people may like these insights more than me.
Thanks to Netgalley, Shankar Vedantam and WW Norton & Company for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Available: 3/2/21
Thanks to Netgalley, Shankar Vedantam and WW Norton & Company for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Available: 3/2/21
July 19, 2021
I am a big fan of Shankar Vedantam’s “Hidden Brain” program on NPR, so I knew I was in for a great read with this book - and was certainly not disappointed! Its main premise is that the human capacity for self-delusion is both an evolved survival skill and necessary to human happiness, with limits of course.
I could not help thinking as I read of the greatest self-delusions currently endangering our nation - those surrounding the COVID-19 virus and its vaccines. Vedantam does not mention these directly but his writing illuminates why so many people cling to the delusion that the virus is a fake and the vaccine a government scheme to take away our liberties. Like the author, I am a “card-carrying rationalist” whose first instinct against delusion is to expose the truth, to lay out the facts, the data, the evidence. As Vedantam reports, this is the least effective approach possible. False beliefs can bind the skeptics together, create an identity they cherish, and meet a deep emotional need of which they might not even be aware. If we are to convince the vaccine skeptics to join the fight to end Covid, it is not “science” that will work. It will be a better understanding of the need the delusion feeds, and a better way to meet that need that helps rather than harms the rest of society.
A fantastic and essential book. Highly recommended.
I could not help thinking as I read of the greatest self-delusions currently endangering our nation - those surrounding the COVID-19 virus and its vaccines. Vedantam does not mention these directly but his writing illuminates why so many people cling to the delusion that the virus is a fake and the vaccine a government scheme to take away our liberties. Like the author, I am a “card-carrying rationalist” whose first instinct against delusion is to expose the truth, to lay out the facts, the data, the evidence. As Vedantam reports, this is the least effective approach possible. False beliefs can bind the skeptics together, create an identity they cherish, and meet a deep emotional need of which they might not even be aware. If we are to convince the vaccine skeptics to join the fight to end Covid, it is not “science” that will work. It will be a better understanding of the need the delusion feeds, and a better way to meet that need that helps rather than harms the rest of society.
A fantastic and essential book. Highly recommended.
March 21, 2021
I usually listen to the "Hidden Brain" podcast when I am in bed at night with the lights dimmed and my iPad's light minimized. Sometimes, something is said that I want to remember, but unless I take a note, I usually forget it the next day. It's much easier to remember Shankar Vedantam's thoughts in a book. I can underline, and review my underlining at a later date. For example, one thought from this book that resonated with me is as follows: "Show me people who have no need for lies, and I will show you happy, well-adjusted people whose lives are marked by good health, professional success, and material comfort."
July 27, 2021
My interview with the author for The Daily Beast: https://www.thedailybeast.com/capitol...
June 25, 2021
This book explains some of the ways in which society and individuals depend on deception to function and thrive. It is kind of a "pop psychology" book, and it doesn't really "make you think" too hard. It's a short book, maybe a bit too short, and I think it really could have gone deeper into the concept and spent more time making its point. It is well-written, in a light and breezy style, and the examples they do give are intriguing. Also, if you're a fan of Shankar Vedantam's Hidden Brain podcast, you might hear his excellent speaking voice in your head as you read this book (I did).
April 26, 2021
Rationality isn’t always useful, delusions sometimes are.
Sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves to create a synthetic world with which we acclimatize ourselves to, makes it far easier for us to lead our lives and respond to the urgency of the situations these stories need not be true and may in fact be figments of our imagination, but that’s ok. Mindlessly rooting for rationality and reason does no good. We just rather be practical and pick stories that work well for us.
Sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves to create a synthetic world with which we acclimatize ourselves to, makes it far easier for us to lead our lives and respond to the urgency of the situations these stories need not be true and may in fact be figments of our imagination, but that’s ok. Mindlessly rooting for rationality and reason does no good. We just rather be practical and pick stories that work well for us.
June 13, 2021
A lightweight but approachable anecdote-filled introduction to the amazing capacity humans have for self-delusion. Not a neuroscience book nor a psychology book; not a sociology book nor a book about evolution, but it does touch on all of these somewhat.
Not much new here for most, but a good introductory book for an inquiring teenager or a late bloomer. The other theme for the author's meandering through the various types of delusions we all experience is that our capacity for self-delusion is mostly a good thing (personally, societally, and evolutionarily) despite how irrational it is.
Not much new here for most, but a good introductory book for an inquiring teenager or a late bloomer. The other theme for the author's meandering through the various types of delusions we all experience is that our capacity for self-delusion is mostly a good thing (personally, societally, and evolutionarily) despite how irrational it is.
March 5, 2022
I love a book that makes me curious! Loved learning about these aspects of human cognition and psychology that are much less overt and intuitive and yet influence every part of who we are individually and as a collective. Easy to read, relatable, and I loved imagining Shankar narrating. :) As a Hidden Brain fan, this book met all my hopes and expectations!
May 2, 2021
Um livro muito interessante sobre como estamos rodeados de "falsas verdades" no nosso dia-a-dia e acabamos por as aceitar porque é assim que se vive em sociedade. Uma temática que não é nova para que seja ouvinte do podcast "Hidden Brain".
January 10, 2021
This timely book explores why people believe what they know is a lie.
Thanks to W.W. Norton for providing an ARC for my honest review.
Thanks to W.W. Norton for providing an ARC for my honest review.
August 3, 2022
Fundí sádico.
March 1, 2021
I liked the idea of this book. When can self-delusion be helpful in our day-to-day life? Can it EVER be helpful? I have always believed that deluding myself works in wonderful ways and Vendatam and Mesler would agree.
I thought one of the most interesting studies was in wine tasting when people's brain scans actually showed that the pleasure center lit up more when tasting a wine they had been told was $90 even though it was the same as the $10 bottle. Does that mean the people who pay more for wine will always enjoy it more? Maybe. But price isn't the only thing that can "trick" our brain like that. It can also be the story behind a product or brand.
There are several of these studies interwoven with the story of a letter writing scheme where lonely hearts would write to each other. However, it turned out most of the women in these exchanges were semi or wholly fictitious. Yet many of the men defended the fraudster. Why? Well, the book explains. If you consider yourself a rationalist, this may not be a good book for you because it will change how you define "rational."
Three and a half stars rounded up
I thought one of the most interesting studies was in wine tasting when people's brain scans actually showed that the pleasure center lit up more when tasting a wine they had been told was $90 even though it was the same as the $10 bottle. Does that mean the people who pay more for wine will always enjoy it more? Maybe. But price isn't the only thing that can "trick" our brain like that. It can also be the story behind a product or brand.
There are several of these studies interwoven with the story of a letter writing scheme where lonely hearts would write to each other. However, it turned out most of the women in these exchanges were semi or wholly fictitious. Yet many of the men defended the fraudster. Why? Well, the book explains. If you consider yourself a rationalist, this may not be a good book for you because it will change how you define "rational."
Three and a half stars rounded up
December 9, 2022
Easy read, interesting, reads like his podcasts!
October 22, 2021
This books reads like an episode of "Hidden Brain" - a podcast I have really enjoyed in the past. There are plenty of points in here that really make you think - is self delusion harmful, or harmless? Even a confirmed non-believer can confront the religious context with some surprising revelations.
December 20, 2022
Transformative. Will try my best to let people be from now on. If they want to believe that 1+1=5. Be my guest.
May 16, 2021
I found this book unsettling as it sets forth that many of our beliefs and actions are decided by our primal brain rather than our rational selves.
If that is the case, it is depressing to think human beings will always be steered more by strong emotions like fear rather than by compassion, by tribalism more than inclusive values, by beliefs instead of facts. I want to think we have evolved to overcome some of our primal selves.
However, if I look honestly, I can see tribalism in myself in how I react to MAGA Trumpism, particularly around their us vs. them response to Trump, racism and Covid vaccines. I have a hard time seeing MAGAs as individuals who might be fearful or who maybe were imprinted with certain beliefs that are hard to overcome or who are only surrounded by others who think the same way. And yet, I generally also surround myself by others who hold most of the same values as I do, so I suppose that is my own sort of tribalism, although I see mine as kinder and open-minded.
An important thing that I got out of reading this is that by understanding how people act based on their emotional, primal brain and tribalism, you realize that you can’t fight irrational or untrue beliefs using “evidence” alone. In politics, for example, Republicans (to my dismay) are very effective triggering primal brain reactions with fear and lies. Democrats tend to counter this with facts and reason which doesn’t work in the primal brain. I think Democrats can use the knowledge in this book about the brain and begin to counter these primal brain delusions by telling better stories and persuading people by appealing to a different primal need for meaning and belonging.
I had some qualms about this quote from the end of the book:
• “…if (the) stories have resonance and power, does it really matter if they are true? Why put the emphasis on the truth or falsity of the stories, rather than on what the stories do for us?”
This made me ask: What is truth? Does it matter? I think it does and in some things, I think there is a line that cannot be crossed. I feel strongly about this and so I have a hard time accepting the premise of this book despite the author’s evidence. I guess I am proof of another type of delusion.
If that is the case, it is depressing to think human beings will always be steered more by strong emotions like fear rather than by compassion, by tribalism more than inclusive values, by beliefs instead of facts. I want to think we have evolved to overcome some of our primal selves.
However, if I look honestly, I can see tribalism in myself in how I react to MAGA Trumpism, particularly around their us vs. them response to Trump, racism and Covid vaccines. I have a hard time seeing MAGAs as individuals who might be fearful or who maybe were imprinted with certain beliefs that are hard to overcome or who are only surrounded by others who think the same way. And yet, I generally also surround myself by others who hold most of the same values as I do, so I suppose that is my own sort of tribalism, although I see mine as kinder and open-minded.
An important thing that I got out of reading this is that by understanding how people act based on their emotional, primal brain and tribalism, you realize that you can’t fight irrational or untrue beliefs using “evidence” alone. In politics, for example, Republicans (to my dismay) are very effective triggering primal brain reactions with fear and lies. Democrats tend to counter this with facts and reason which doesn’t work in the primal brain. I think Democrats can use the knowledge in this book about the brain and begin to counter these primal brain delusions by telling better stories and persuading people by appealing to a different primal need for meaning and belonging.
I had some qualms about this quote from the end of the book:
• “…if (the) stories have resonance and power, does it really matter if they are true? Why put the emphasis on the truth or falsity of the stories, rather than on what the stories do for us?”
This made me ask: What is truth? Does it matter? I think it does and in some things, I think there is a line that cannot be crossed. I feel strongly about this and so I have a hard time accepting the premise of this book despite the author’s evidence. I guess I am proof of another type of delusion.
March 30, 2021
This book was very interesting. I've thought for years that delusions could be useful for individuals. AA was my classic example: if you need belief in a higher power to make your life better, go for it! But this book went farther, stating that as a SOCIETY we may benefit from delusions, that they are productive and help our survival as a species. I struggle with the concept that truth, making decisions based on fact rather than fiction, is sometimes desirable. I see so many counterexamples, where it seems clear that people denying that Covid is real increase the spread, for instance. But perhaps the delusional thinking is actually a powerful tool - perhaps those who create myths control society more effectively, regardless of whether the myths are intentional. Perhaps we need to create myths that support facts, rather than simply trying to communicate the facts themselves. You have a much stronger sense of America after watching the musical Hamilton than after watching 3 hours of congressional debate. I recommend this book, and I look forward to listening to the Hidden Brain podcasts.
September 14, 2021
I have been reading a lot of romances for the HEAs the past year and a half, an antidote to the anxiety of the pandemic and political shenanigans. In the 21st century it feels like 99% of the conflict in a romance is an outright lie or the withholding of an important emotional truth. These are, after all, stories of people learning to do better with the ones they love.
But. There is quite often a simplicity assumed. There is a lie, and it is much less of a big deal than first supposed, or even a complete misunderstanding. Communication clears the way to a solution, everyone and everything is better when everyone tells the truth and holds nothing back.
But in real life, not so much. Sure, it's important to talk about the big things and find a comfortable compromise, and no one can be happy living a lie. Except not all the time, and not in every case. Sometimes we just go through the motions because there's no point in worrying others or it is the thought that counts, rather than the misguided gift itself, or someone isn't asking what you really think, they're asking for reassurance. Sometimes what we need is hope and care, especially when there is no hope and no care.
So I am more grateful than I can say to have this book come into my life just now and remind me of nuance, and tact, and that it isn't necessary to share everything, especially not how annoying it is when you do that unconscious thing that you couldn't stop if you tried, and drawing attention to it would only make it worse.
Not actually you, of course, you're fine.
***
I was loving it and really digging the vibe and then, Halloween Bingo came along and distracted me and I never regained my enthusiasm. It's a fine book, it just ceased being the one I needed to read by the time I finally finished it, which was entirely my own fault.
Library copy
But. There is quite often a simplicity assumed. There is a lie, and it is much less of a big deal than first supposed, or even a complete misunderstanding. Communication clears the way to a solution, everyone and everything is better when everyone tells the truth and holds nothing back.
But in real life, not so much. Sure, it's important to talk about the big things and find a comfortable compromise, and no one can be happy living a lie. Except not all the time, and not in every case. Sometimes we just go through the motions because there's no point in worrying others or it is the thought that counts, rather than the misguided gift itself, or someone isn't asking what you really think, they're asking for reassurance. Sometimes what we need is hope and care, especially when there is no hope and no care.
So I am more grateful than I can say to have this book come into my life just now and remind me of nuance, and tact, and that it isn't necessary to share everything, especially not how annoying it is when you do that unconscious thing that you couldn't stop if you tried, and drawing attention to it would only make it worse.
Not actually you, of course, you're fine.
***
I was loving it and really digging the vibe and then, Halloween Bingo came along and distracted me and I never regained my enthusiasm. It's a fine book, it just ceased being the one I needed to read by the time I finally finished it, which was entirely my own fault.
Library copy
August 29, 2021
Reading this book was like listening to the soothing voice of Shankar Vedantam's insightful podcast. I loved it, and even as an avid listener to Hidden Brain since the 1st episode, reading the same stories that he features on his podcast in written form made me think about key new insights about my own biases that I had not considered before. The book's title is resonant with Shankar's motive behind starting the podcast - to explore when such biases are often self-serving instead of self-destructive as coaches and mentors most often point out.
My key takeaway was not the 2nd level understanding of how bias serves us, but the 3rd level understanding of why a human holds such a bias - the background / education / trauma / environment that led to susceptibility to such a belief. While I would love to say that I have a deeper level of empathy or compassion as a result, the true driver for me if I'm honest is that of curiosity - at least curiosity to my fellow human is a requisite step towards understanding, and a very strong step towards compassion. I doubt that I'll be slower to judge those that hold such a blind belief towards organized religion as their panaceatic savior and a dogmatic viewpoint of following a list of rules without heed to the context of why such rules were written / applicability to modern life - but I do find myself in the past few weeks looking beyond such dogmatic practice to understanding what were the conditions for said person to hold such a resolute viewpoint? Did he/she grow up in an environment where external influences (dictatorial government) inhibited social mobility such that faith in the magical was the common denominator of hope? Why do I hold such credence in scientific discovery / rational thought - perhaps as a justification to pride my own intellect as a metric worthy of pursuit in spite of the comparative lack of success that such intellect has failed to precipitate?
Why is a falsehood any less valuable because it's not true? If it makes us act in a more productive or egalitarian manner, who cares what the effect is? Like Kurt Vonnegut's quote about Jesus - this certainly makes me no different than a religious zealot (except that the adaptability and decentralized construct of scientific thought makes it a more palatable and less damaging/controlling religion). We laugh and cry and feel moved by movies and fiction stories knowing that they are untrue, these are delusions that are just as useful and sought after.
My notes:
"I realized that one reason people cling to false beliefs is because self-deception can sometimes be functional - it enables us to accomplish useful social, psychological or biological goals. Holding false beliefs is not always the mark of idiocy, pathology or villainy […] Believing what we want to believe and seeing what we want to see, I slowly came to understand, is less a state of mind, or a reflection of one's intelligence, and more a response to one's circumstances. Forgoing self-deception isn't merely a mark of education or enlightenment - it is a sign of privilege. If you don't believe in Santa Claus or the Virgin Birth, it's because your life does not depend on your believing in such things." [p10]
"It has been theorized that this tendency to believe our own lies - which in turn helps us lie more effectively - is the evolutionary origin of self deception in human beings." [p24]
Advice he received at his first job - "No one ever got fired for doing a bad job. People get fired for being assholes". Not entirely true, but a preface for why we as humans learn to lie so frequently out of social custom to be kind to others. Getting along with others is vital to our survival.
Story of Franz Mesmer and his energy transference rods - the investigation of which was led by Ben Franklin and led to the discovery of the placebo effect. "Such cures were based on delusion and a disposition in mankind to deceive themselves." Yet Franklin said it still might be worth the trip because "delusion may, however, in some cases, be of use… there are in every great city a number of persons who are never in health, because they are fond of medications, and by always taking them, hurt their constitutions. If these people can be persuaded to forbear their drugs in expectation of being cured by only the physician's finger or an iron rod pointing at them, they may possibly find good effects." [p42]
"If fifty percent of people go better by placebo, and fifty percent by a drug, it's a failed trial. They are missing that fifty percent of people got better." - Ted Kaptchuk, Director of the Program in Placebo Studies and the Therapeutic Encounter at Harvard University
Describing how viagra makes men feel young again - Pfizer doesn't say that our drug is designed to trick you into believing you have stopped the march of time and you don't say that viagra allows me to deceive myself. "The seduction works best when neither side acknowledges it is happening, and when both sides believe their deceptions and self-deceptions are not deceits at all." [p56]
Naïve realism - when presented with a story we ask ourselves how we feel about it. We put ourselves in the shoes of participants and ask what we would do, assuming that our reality is correct and anyone else is uninformed. George Carlin - "have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
Church of Love - supporters of the mail scam knew that they were getting scammed, and derived value from it because of how lonely they were. They were able to convince themselves that the woman they were speaking with was a victim and the one exception to the scam - "why do you get to decide what feels subjectively true for me?"
Mortality Paradox - We understand that we will one day die, but we cannot really imagine being dead. Stephen Cave - the root of religion has been trying to create self-deceptions in the form of "immortality narratives"
1) Longevity story - through potions, herbs, fountains of youth, hidden knowledge we can extend our lives (Ancient Egyptians, Adam and Abraham living into their 900's)
2) Resurrection - not possible to live forever in your current body, but you can come back after death (Christian and Tibetan Buddhist theologies)
3) Essence outside of the physical body - soul that lives on forever (Zen and Theravada Buddhist and Hindu)
4) Figurative sense - we live on forever as a memory in the hearts and minds (God Kings like Ramses II)
- Terror management theory - provides us with a bulwark against the fear of death
"Many people hold false beliefs not because they are in love with falsehoods, or because they are stupid - as conventional wisdom might suggest - but because those beliefs help them hold their lives together in some way." [p175
"The new atheists will probably tell you that religion has no place in any solution for climate change. But as a pragmatist, I say we should care much less about what's true, and much more about what works. If believing in the Sun God or Shiva or the Abrahamic prophets can get people to stop destroying the only planet we have, I say we go for it." [p176]
My key takeaway was not the 2nd level understanding of how bias serves us, but the 3rd level understanding of why a human holds such a bias - the background / education / trauma / environment that led to susceptibility to such a belief. While I would love to say that I have a deeper level of empathy or compassion as a result, the true driver for me if I'm honest is that of curiosity - at least curiosity to my fellow human is a requisite step towards understanding, and a very strong step towards compassion. I doubt that I'll be slower to judge those that hold such a blind belief towards organized religion as their panaceatic savior and a dogmatic viewpoint of following a list of rules without heed to the context of why such rules were written / applicability to modern life - but I do find myself in the past few weeks looking beyond such dogmatic practice to understanding what were the conditions for said person to hold such a resolute viewpoint? Did he/she grow up in an environment where external influences (dictatorial government) inhibited social mobility such that faith in the magical was the common denominator of hope? Why do I hold such credence in scientific discovery / rational thought - perhaps as a justification to pride my own intellect as a metric worthy of pursuit in spite of the comparative lack of success that such intellect has failed to precipitate?
Why is a falsehood any less valuable because it's not true? If it makes us act in a more productive or egalitarian manner, who cares what the effect is? Like Kurt Vonnegut's quote about Jesus - this certainly makes me no different than a religious zealot (except that the adaptability and decentralized construct of scientific thought makes it a more palatable and less damaging/controlling religion). We laugh and cry and feel moved by movies and fiction stories knowing that they are untrue, these are delusions that are just as useful and sought after.
My notes:
"I realized that one reason people cling to false beliefs is because self-deception can sometimes be functional - it enables us to accomplish useful social, psychological or biological goals. Holding false beliefs is not always the mark of idiocy, pathology or villainy […] Believing what we want to believe and seeing what we want to see, I slowly came to understand, is less a state of mind, or a reflection of one's intelligence, and more a response to one's circumstances. Forgoing self-deception isn't merely a mark of education or enlightenment - it is a sign of privilege. If you don't believe in Santa Claus or the Virgin Birth, it's because your life does not depend on your believing in such things." [p10]
"It has been theorized that this tendency to believe our own lies - which in turn helps us lie more effectively - is the evolutionary origin of self deception in human beings." [p24]
Advice he received at his first job - "No one ever got fired for doing a bad job. People get fired for being assholes". Not entirely true, but a preface for why we as humans learn to lie so frequently out of social custom to be kind to others. Getting along with others is vital to our survival.
Story of Franz Mesmer and his energy transference rods - the investigation of which was led by Ben Franklin and led to the discovery of the placebo effect. "Such cures were based on delusion and a disposition in mankind to deceive themselves." Yet Franklin said it still might be worth the trip because "delusion may, however, in some cases, be of use… there are in every great city a number of persons who are never in health, because they are fond of medications, and by always taking them, hurt their constitutions. If these people can be persuaded to forbear their drugs in expectation of being cured by only the physician's finger or an iron rod pointing at them, they may possibly find good effects." [p42]
"If fifty percent of people go better by placebo, and fifty percent by a drug, it's a failed trial. They are missing that fifty percent of people got better." - Ted Kaptchuk, Director of the Program in Placebo Studies and the Therapeutic Encounter at Harvard University
Describing how viagra makes men feel young again - Pfizer doesn't say that our drug is designed to trick you into believing you have stopped the march of time and you don't say that viagra allows me to deceive myself. "The seduction works best when neither side acknowledges it is happening, and when both sides believe their deceptions and self-deceptions are not deceits at all." [p56]
Naïve realism - when presented with a story we ask ourselves how we feel about it. We put ourselves in the shoes of participants and ask what we would do, assuming that our reality is correct and anyone else is uninformed. George Carlin - "have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
Church of Love - supporters of the mail scam knew that they were getting scammed, and derived value from it because of how lonely they were. They were able to convince themselves that the woman they were speaking with was a victim and the one exception to the scam - "why do you get to decide what feels subjectively true for me?"
Mortality Paradox - We understand that we will one day die, but we cannot really imagine being dead. Stephen Cave - the root of religion has been trying to create self-deceptions in the form of "immortality narratives"
1) Longevity story - through potions, herbs, fountains of youth, hidden knowledge we can extend our lives (Ancient Egyptians, Adam and Abraham living into their 900's)
2) Resurrection - not possible to live forever in your current body, but you can come back after death (Christian and Tibetan Buddhist theologies)
3) Essence outside of the physical body - soul that lives on forever (Zen and Theravada Buddhist and Hindu)
4) Figurative sense - we live on forever as a memory in the hearts and minds (God Kings like Ramses II)
- Terror management theory - provides us with a bulwark against the fear of death
"Many people hold false beliefs not because they are in love with falsehoods, or because they are stupid - as conventional wisdom might suggest - but because those beliefs help them hold their lives together in some way." [p175
"The new atheists will probably tell you that religion has no place in any solution for climate change. But as a pragmatist, I say we should care much less about what's true, and much more about what works. If believing in the Sun God or Shiva or the Abrahamic prophets can get people to stop destroying the only planet we have, I say we go for it." [p176]
Displaying 1 - 30 of 206 reviews