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Men Who Hate Women - From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How It Affects Us All

4.38  ·  Rating details ·  5,865 ratings  ·  849 reviews
An explosive book examining the rise of secretive, extremist communities who despise women. In this ground-breaking investigation, Laura Bates traces the roots of misogyny across a complex spider's web of groups extending from Men's Rights Activists and Pick up Artists to "Men Going their Own Way" trolls and the Incel movement, in the name of which some men have committed ...more
Kindle Edition, 384 pages
Published September 3rd 2020 by Simon & Schuster UK
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Start your review of Men Who Hate Women - From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How It Affects Us All
Mario the lone bookwolf (is on a longer vacation)
Why trying to become a better human, fit, smart, and thereby more attractive, when it´s so much easier to participate in murderous anonymous hate troll slutshaming victim blaming mobs.

And it doesn´t end there, dozens of people have died because incels think that alphas and Stacies, even Beckies, have to die for their crime of working hard and improving themselves to be able to live happy lives. What gets less attention in the media, because it´s such an ugly, huge, evil beast, are the reasons th
Paul Bryant
Oct 08, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is such a depressing book that I just didn’t want to review it because that would make me have to think about the disgusting creeps that Laura Bates writes about. But life is not always spring sunshine and little lambs gamboling in the fields. Some nasty things have to be done, so, onward.


That’s what this book is about – various popular places on the internet where men groove around detesting and hating and being sickened by women, feminism and political correctness gone mad (
Emily May
Oct 04, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2020, nonfiction
But I am interested in the men in between. The boys who fall through the cracks. The ‘good’ men who feel scared. The ones who went looking for help, because they felt frightened or sad or lonely, and haven’t been able to disentangle themselves. The ones who just haven’t heard about any of this yet. The ones who look the other way on the bus. Because we can’t change anything without those men.

I find myself feeling like a different title should have been chosen for this book. It's certainly ey
Jo (The Book Geek)
Since posting this review, I have noticed a rather alarming increase in one star reviews that are written by men. It is highly evident that the majority of these individuals haven't actually read this book, and are simply using this opportunity to spread their hate that they have for women, and to blacken Bates name. This in itself, is a solid enough reason why this book needed to be written.

I haven't been hiding under a rock all this time, and I realise that people like this do exist, but read
Jay Green
Oct 02, 2020 rated it really liked it
Germaine Greer once said "Women have very little idea of how much men hate them." I've long been sceptical of this assertion since, if the statistics on the number of women who have experienced sexual harassment of some form are correct, the majority have at least some idea. In any case, it's a moot point because the Internet must by now have left women in no doubt about just how widespread misogyny is, at least in the English-speaking world. Laura Bates does a super job here of covering all the ...more
John Davis
Oct 05, 2020 rated it did not like it
This book is not yet available in the US. I had to order a copy from a UK book seller.

When I read this book, I was amazed at the hysteria, misandry and androphobia that drives the author's views.

There is almost nothing in the book that is not based on false information and fiction. For example, Laura Bates (the author) claims she was at a UK men's conference. I checked with three people who were in charge of the conference (all three of them are women) and they informed me that she was never at
Sep 08, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is a depressing but necessary read. As a woman on Twitter I’ve had my experience of men spewing hate at me (once over a pic of a banana cutter?!?) so the contents of this book did not surprise me. But the depth of the hate and the trickle down nature of it into mainstream media and society does make me despair.

I admire Laura for her bravery in writing such a book. I often second guess myself about writing a tweet about something like ‘toxic masculinity’ because I don’t want to deal with th
Wanda Pedersen
Not for the faint of heart, as there is a lot of distressing stuff in here. It's like feeling compelled to stare at a car accident that you're passing. This is a book about a tiny minority of men who are loud and more stealthily influential than they ought to be. It makes me sad for these people who choose to hate others that they perceive as different. They believe that they have to lose status if others gain it, instead of both parties being equal. I think in reality everyone gains from a more ...more
Nenia ✨ I yeet my books back and forth ✨ Campbell
Author of EVERYDAY SEXISM writes books about men doing sucky things and why it is wrong????

Sep 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I have the (mis)fortune of being very aware and very well-versed in the language of the manosphere and their tactics, their beliefs and the extent of their influence on the "real", offline world. Bates has an even bigger misfortune of being vocal enough, smart enough and brave enough to do a full blown research into their connection with the power structures, politicians, policy making and the absolute lack of any apparent desire to do anything about their spread. I am a feminist researcher and ...more
Sep 30, 2020 rated it it was amazing
As one might imagine, this isn’t a pleasant read. But it’s an urgent and, I think, important one.

I feel that some personal background would be relevant to this review. Please bare with — When I first went to university, I found myself surrounded by a whole load of young men who clearly had little expedience with women. I’d come from a very different background to these guys; I had two sisters with whom I’d always been close; I’d had female friends; I’d had a long-term girlfriend; I’d always been
Maja  - BibliophiliaDK ✨

I struggled with rating this book. Because the subject matter was so... disturbing. So revolting, so upsetting. I had to call my mother after reading this just to get it out my system. I was horrified, angry, and agitated throughout this book. So you can't say that I liked reading it. But this is an IMPORTANT book. It's an important subject matter to look into and spread awareness about. And you cannot fault Bates' professionalism, journalism or com
Sep 07, 2020 rated it did not like it
This book provides its own refutation. Bates's contention is that, if you look hard enough in the more fetid corners of the internet, you'll find (in what she loosely terms "the manosphere") online communities of men who hate women, from "incels" (involuntary celibates) to "MGTOW" (men going their own way ie keeping apart from women) to "pickup artists" (men who supposedly have skills in "picking up" women).

It seems a little odd to class those last two groups as hating women, but the major prob
Sep 23, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Horrifying, disturbing, but essential reading.
Jan 19, 2022 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Scrolling through the reviews of this book, I noticed an unsurprising yet disturbing trend: the majority of the one-star reviews were by (self-described) men, normally those who cited things such as "misandry" or "misanthropy," while the majority of the five-star reviews were by (self-described) women, normally those who cited things such as their own real-life experiences. Funny, that. ...more
Sep 18, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
TW: I don't even know where I would begin with the TW for this book because it literally covers everything under misogyny, rape, murder, alt-right, racism, white terrorism.

This was a deeply unsettling but extremely important book; whilst the nature of the discussion wasn't surprising to me, the extent of the hatred and abuse that is online honestly did surprise me. I know that these communities exist but I honestly didn't realise the extent of which they do exist and the extent of their behavio
Sep 27, 2021 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction, feminism, own
this was…..a lot. hopefully will write a full review soon.
Sep 15, 2020 rated it did not like it
Women's Suffrage, Pt. 1 (The Suffragettes)

The Suffragettes were domestic terrorists.

"We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men"
--Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1848 - Founding Feminist)

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."
--Famous 70s Feminist quote

"Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seekin
James Bloodworth
Oct 01, 2020 rated it it was ok
Some interesting stuff including some fairly grim details of the horrendous abuse women in public life often receive. Shines a light on some of the darker corners of the internet. However, it reads like a long Comment is Free article. I don’t really buy the overarching narrative that it’s simply a question of dismantling ‘the patriarchy’ in order to get a handle on this stuff. This is especially true with regards to incels and PUAs. Big societal changes that have been taking place in recent year ...more
Heather *coffee and flowers*
May 22, 2021 rated it really liked it
While this book wasn't exactly a joy to read—in fact, the things it talks about are often disturbing and disgusting—it highlights online extremism, of which it is increasingly important to be aware of informed. It was especially illuminating regarding events of the past few years in politics, for example. It also brings to awareness the ways in which these misogynistic online groups target young boys. This wasn't my first time reading about incels and MRAs (and Bates talks about other groups as ...more
Imogen Kathleen
Jan 24, 2022 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction, 2022
Deeply terrifying, but a vital read.
I would force this into the hands of so so many people if I could.
This was an awful reading experience, but I learnt so much and felt heard.

I do wish that there had been a little more focus on how these groups target LGBTQIA+, disabled, and POC women specifically, though.

This book takes a bit of processing, so I will come back with a more full review soon.
May 28, 2022 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: kat-sachbuch
Even though I am a woman and I have heard about incels and the manosphere before and I am very much aware of the overwhelming misogyny in many places, this book hit me hard.
Now that I finished reading it I am emotionally exhausted, because basically being aware of something is very different from having to face this amount of examples and statistical evidence.
What I even hadn’t realized so far was the trickle down effect of mysogynistic reasoning in the mainstream, until I heard my own son (and
Jun 24, 2022 rated it it was amazing
It’s only hot girl summer if you're reading about feminism, I don’t make the rules. Also...buckle up for my longest review yet.

I’m going to be honest- I picked this up because I was morbidly fascinated by incels. They are disgusting and pitiful, and I wanted to know more about these vitriolic men- fedoras, neckbeards, and all. If you are like me, I’ll tell you that you do get a very deep dive into incel spaces. However, after having read the book I am ashamed that I had such a surface level und
Mark Hebden
Jan 26, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: politics, feminism
First and foremost it is worth praising Laura Bates for having the courage to write this book. Laura founded the Everday Sexism project and since then has been subject to thousands and thousands of violent, rape and death threats from the types of men with whom this book is concerned. She has had to move house several times and lives with a legitimate fear for the safety of herself and her family.

The book itself is an expertly put together piece of investigative journalism. It is harrowing, aff
Brittany (whatbritreads)
I’ve loved the previous two books I’ve read by Laura Bates so it came as no surprise to me that this one was also a 5*. There’s just something so enigmatic and utterly mindblowing about how she writes, I’d literally pick up anything with her name on it regardless of the topic. She has such knowledge and passion on the things she writes about, it oozes from the pages. Amazing every time.

This book was her most disturbing yet, and right from the first pages it honestly made my stomach turn. For all
many thanks to netgalley and sourcebooks for this advance e-galley in exchange for an honest review.

men who hate women is essential reading for everyone, particularly those of us living in canada, the US, australia, and europe.

this book is a call to action and blueprint for paradigmatic shift. it is an act of lucid, critical resistance.

laura bates writes compelling, urgently. her words, girded with clear-eyed empathy, carry propulsive power. she traces - in specific and comprehensive detail -
Deviant Sam
Apr 04, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: abandoned, reviewed
I'm not even halfway through this but I'm struggling so much to reach the finish line, I just decided to interrupt my reading for an indeterminate period.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with this book and I'll probably come back to it in the future, but right now I'm unable to process the brutal reality Laura Bates is courageously exposing here. Her book is a rather necessary one, though I started getting headaches and experiencing problems to fall asleep every time I tried to digest a few pas
Eve Dangerfield
Apr 07, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Mega powerful and anger-inducing. As Bates says misogyny, like it or not (and who the fuck would like it?) is part of the wallpaper of our lives. Thus terrorism charges (which would be leveled at any other hate-fuelled organization with aims to systemically harm a group) are not aimed at the white heterosexual men who loudly and proudly hate women, organize themselves around that ideology, commit murder because of that ideology and encourage other men to do the same.
It sucks that the dudes most
Krystelle Fitzpatrick
Nov 05, 2020 rated it really liked it
There is no shock in this book for me, but in some ways, I wish there was. From personal experience, it feels far easier to disconnect from the gender that you're assigned at birth in order to not feel the level of anguish that books like this bring up. It's weird and uncomfortable to exist as a piece of meat to be bought and sold in the eyes of some, and I struggle with it enormously. This book illuminates that quite successfully, putting forward an image of the recesses of the internet that ar ...more
eddie ♡
"We don't want to talk about a mass movement encouraging violent hatred of women. We would prefer not to confront it. It is much easier to paint sexism as a vague, perpetrator-free issue, hazily floating in the ether, waiting to affect women... [] But the more we look away, the worse it gets."

An incredibly important, thought-provoking, and educational insight into the many male-dominated spaces of the internet, where online misogynistic, vitriolic hate bleeds out into the every day experienc
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Laura Bates is the founder of the Everyday Sexism Project, an ever-increasing collection of over 100,000 testimonies of gender inequality, with branches in 25 countries worldwide. She works closely with politicians, businesses, schools, police forces and organisations from the Council of Europe to the United Nations to tackle gender inequality. She was awarded a British Empire Medal for services t ...more

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“Women have always been the canaries in the coal mines, quietly singing.” 3 likes
“It is clear this philosophy has been welcomed with open arms by men already predisposed to misogynistic tendencies, who seem to appreciate the opportunity to validate their bias within a grandiose ideological framework.” 0 likes
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