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Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction

David Sheff (Goodreads Author)

4.09 · Rating details · 65,324 ratings · 5,746 reviews

What had happened to my beautiful boy? To our family? What did I do wrong? Those are the wrenching questions that haunted every moment of David Sheff’s journey through his son Nic’s addiction to drugs and tentative steps toward recovery. Before Nic Sheff became addicted to crystal meth, he was a charming boy, joyous and funny, a varsity athlete and honor student adored by ...more

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Paperback, 340 pages

Published January 6th 2009 by Mariner Books (first published 2007)

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Feb 27, 2008 Nancy rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: audio-books, library-books, shelf-inflicted, addiction, bio-and-memoirs

Posted at Shelf Inflicted

I never understood the appeal of meth. It’s made in clandestine labs using an array of chemicals that are flammable and hazardous to your health. The drug is highly addictive and has dangerous side-effects. Your teeth fall out, your jaw collapses, you get those ghastly sores and ulcers, your cheeks become hollow, and your eyes are sunken in. And that’s only on the outside. On the inside, your brain looks like Swiss cheese, you become paranoid, irritable and even violent. Posted at Shelf Inflicted

I never understood the appeal of meth. It’s made in clandestine labs using an array of chemicals that are flammable and hazardous to your health. The drug is highly addictive and has dangerous side-effects. Your teeth fall out, your jaw collapses, you get those ghastly sores and ulcers, your cheeks become hollow, and your eyes are sunken in. And that’s only on the outside. On the inside, your brain looks like Swiss cheese, you become paranoid, irritable and even violent.

At one time, cocaine was my drug of choice. No fancy paraphernalia, no needles, and it’s a plant derivative. The high doesn’t last as long and if I want to stop, there are no physical withdrawal symptoms. Plus, it had the added benefits of keeping my weight down at its lowest, making me the life of the party, and acquiring more friends than I knew what to do with. So it has to be healthier for you, right? Who was I kidding?

My job performance suffered, I became paranoid, I was hardly eating at all, and I slept only sporadically. There were nosebleeds, jitters, dry mouth, running nose, and depression. There was the scary emergency room visit for an asthma attack during a party where drugs, alcohol and cats were rampant. My neglect to mention my drug use to the doctor treating me nearly caused me to have a heart attack.

One morning I woke up and decided enough is enough. My love affair with the drug was over as quickly as it started. Since that day, I never touched the stuff again.

I’ve read stories about drug addicts, but none told from a parent’s perspective. Nic Sheff, a college student in his early 20’s, continues to battle his addiction. This is a beautiful and painful story told by his dad. He’s not a perfect man and he’s made a lot of mistakes, but there was never a doubt in my mind that he loves his son dearly. Through the ups and down of Nic’s addiction, his dad’s constant worries and fears ultimately affected his health until eventually he sought the help he needed and learned to create healthy boundaries.

I’m looking forward to Nic’s story – what made him start using, his relationship with his parents and siblings, and the effects his parents’ divorce had on him.

All I can say is I’m glad I don’t have kids.
...more

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Apr 24, 2008 Marianne rated it it was ok · review of another edition

I checked this book out of the library after hearing David Sheff and his son Nick interviewed on NPR. I found this book annoying and unrevealing (for a memoir) and yet I couldn't put it down. David Sheff discusses his own drug use and alludes to his immaturity/commitment issues as a factor in his divorce from Nick's mother which he blames mostly for his son's drug problems, but he never discusses the root of his issues (or even specifically what they were beyond immaturity) or how they affected ...more

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Nov 27, 2018 Mary Deacon rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

David Sheff didn't miss a single experience of having a drug-addicted son. He seconds guesses himself repeatedly. David reads about it, asks questions, studies new and old treatment, loses sleep, abandons himself of loved ones, sets apart his life over and over again. David is depressed. He makes himself physically sick. He can't turn to God. Sheff didn't miss a fucking beat. I've had this book for a year before I could bring myself to read it. I regret putting it off so long.
...more

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Feb 18, 2021 Kelly (and the Book Boar) rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, memoir, or-just-watch-the-movie, read-in-2021, liburrrrrry-book, mc-i-want-to-punch-in-the-throat

What I pictured the entire time I was reading this flaming hot turd . . . .

Nothing like being a privileged white condescending jackass/total enabler who spends his kid’s formative years bragging about his own drug use and then remains in a constant state of denial about how fucked his kid is for eternity. And even better – the kid apparently needed fucking PSYCHIATRIC HELP HIS ENTIRE GODDAMN LIFE, but was never taken to anything but a therapist (who was another piece of shit and only offere ...more

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Jun 18, 2008 Doneen rated it did not like it · review of another edition

This is a book full of numerous examples of how over-idealization of a son by his father can cause as many problems as insufficient attention paid to the child. If you can believe this father, his son was nothing short of the second coming. No wonder the son became a lying, stealing, self-absorbed addict who took multiple rehabs to kick a habit. This is a cautionary tale for parents. Okay, I just re-read what I wrote, and I know it's probably too harsh. But I really believe it's harmful over-ind ...more

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Sep 04, 2019 Maria Espadinha rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

The Battle

Beautiful Boy is a non-fiction story about a fight: a desperate father and a doped son embarked in a battle against methamphetamine.
The refered battle could have been shorter if father and son didn’t waste so much time battling each other instead of acting as a team towards the devilish meth 😈
Not that they were kicking nor biting one another, but there are other ways of fighting, like when a guy does one thing, whilst the other does exactly the opposite, which was definitely the case ...more

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Feb 20, 2018 Caroline rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites, he-wrote-it, get-smart, memoir, maximum-impact, nonfiction, this-gets-real

***NO SPOILERS***

This is so much more than a straightforward memoir about a father struggling to save his drug-addicted son. Most strikingly, it’s a heart-rending testament to the unconditional and powerful love a parent has for a child. I was deeply moved by Beautiful Boy and know I’ll never forget it.

The account is made even more tragic by how journalist David Sheff set up the narrative. He started from the very beginning, when his beloved son, Nic, was born, showing well how this all-America ***NO SPOILERS***

This is so much more than a straightforward memoir about a father struggling to save his drug-addicted son. Most strikingly, it’s a heart-rending testament to the unconditional and powerful love a parent has for a child. I was deeply moved by Beautiful Boy and know I’ll never forget it.

The account is made even more tragic by how journalist David Sheff set up the narrative. He started from the very beginning, when his beloved son, Nic, was born, showing well how this all-American golden boy, who was whip-smart and well-liked, seemed destined for the happiest and most successful of futures. Sheff implied that Nic was the kind of kid no one expected would become a drug addict. This account underscores well the important maxim that addiction doesn’t discriminate.

Beautiful Boy is a tremendous accomplishment and a revelation. Sheff held nothing back, from trying to survive each day to his most vulnerable moments: the tense and sometimes heated conversations with Nic, his paralyzing fear, self-blame, desperation, and the torturous worry--his most loyal companion. As Sheff says later in the book, Nic’s addiction became Sheff’s obsession, an addiction all his own.

The memoir’s poignance comes from a raw candor. Sheff is a humble narrator who shoulders some of the blame--probably more than he should--for Nic’s addiction, and he spoke with total openness:

When I am alone, however, I weep in a way that I have not wept since I was a young boy. Nic used to tease me about my inability to cry. On the rare occasions when my eyes welled up, he joked about my “constipated tears.” Now tears come at unexpected moments for no obvious reason, and they pour forth with ferocity. They scare the hell out of me. It scares the hell out of me to be so lost and helpless and out of control and afraid.

Al-Anon meetings, where he openly cried on more than one occasion, became essential. All the while, his son lived on the streets of San Francisco, a shadow of his former self.

Sheff’s son was primarily addicted to methamphetamine, and in the course of trying to save him, Sheff researched meth. “Know your enemy,” was his thinking. He included much of that research in Beautiful Boy. The drug is unlike any other--more destructive, especially difficult to quit. Research has proven that it’s “neurotoxic, physically changing the brain far more than cocaine and most other drugs do.” The brain damage may be permanent, rendering the addict unable to ever recover. Reading this, knowing how hopelessly addicted Sheff’s son was, pushes Beautiful Boy into the realm of frightening.

Many addicts have written memoirs about their struggles, but how their loved ones struggle is more of a mystery. This memoir fills an important void, because, as Sheff revealed, their suffering is life-altering and nightmarish too, just in a very different way. They need validation and support. Addiction hurts more than just the addict. Beautiful Boy is a profoundly moving experience. ...more

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Apr 21, 2008 Jen rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I liked this book a lot better than Tweak. The father is a great writer, and he did a great job making me feel as if I was going through the experience with him. He also presents a lot of research on crystal meth and its effects on users. I changed my rating from a 5 to a 4 after I read Tweak however. After I read Beautiful Boy, I was really freaked out about the accessibility of drugs, and the father made it seem as if everyone in the world will eventually try drugs at least once in their life ...more

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Sep 21, 2018 Cori rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: real-life, nurse-reads, psych

This family has incredible moxie, man. The strength it would take to throw your mess out to the wolves hoping it could help a few lost sheep is awesome. Not to mention, the father and son both did it. I love that. The juxtaposition between the two books is amazing.

I see a lot of mixed reviews on this. Some people are pretty condemning towards David's failures as a father. Some people completely lack empathy towards Nic. I understand the difficulty they have, but until addiction hits you an a per ...more

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Jun 15, 2008 Suzanne rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: adult-nonfiction

Finally. I. Am. Done.

I swear this book took me a month to read. Maybe longer. I just could not get into it. I read the companion, Tweak, written by his son, and I thought it would be interesting to hear the other perspective. Blah. What started as an article for The New York Times Magazine, the overwhelming response prompted Sheff to write a whole book. Bad idea. It was obviously stretched beyond it's means, and Sheff often relied on random quotes from movies and songs to fill space. I would rea ...more

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Apr 27, 2011 Abbey rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Recommends it for: burn this book to ashes, then burn the ashes.

I want to light this book on fire, then stab out the chunks of my brain that remember this book.

David Sheff's emotional illiteracy is astounding. Case in point: at some point after Nic has his 32587th relapse, David and Jasper go for a hike together. Here is a perfect opportunity for a father to talk about some really important and scary events with his youngest son, and instead the conversation goes like this:

David: -manly silence-
Jasper: "You're worried about Nic, aren't you?"
David: "Yeah." ...more

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May 02, 2019 Malia rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

Oh boy, this was not an easy book to read, but I won't be quick to forget it either. Sheff tells a moving, though deeply unsettling account of his son's drug addiction, how he as a father coped with it, and how it affected his family. I'll need a while to really digest Beautiful Boy, but I do want to read the son's account, (Tweak by Nic Sheff), to try to understand the experience from his view. The point Sheff got across was just how hard it is to help someone with addiction, how draining it is ...more

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Jun 01, 2010 Tayari Jones rated it liked it · review of another edition

The writing was good, but I couldn't stop thinking that rich people are very lucky. Thier kids can be drug addicts and not go to jail. It would have been better if the author had really acknowledged that. ...more

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Jul 20, 2018 Jennifer rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: book-to-screen, bookcracks, memoir-biography-autobiography, read-2018, stand-alone-novel, nonfiction, addiction

3.5 Stars
Beautiful Boy is a memoir written by David Sheff about his experiences as he tried to save his teenage son from drug addiction. Beautiful Boy was an incredibly informative reading experience for me personally. This book may do a better job at capturing the attention of readers who are parents themselves or have a family member or friend who suffers from addiction. The emotional toll addiction takes on loved ones was documented well and provides a wealth of perspective and information. T 3.5 Stars
Beautiful Boy is a memoir written by David Sheff about his experiences as he tried to save his teenage son from drug addiction. Beautiful Boy was an incredibly informative reading experience for me personally. This book may do a better job at capturing the attention of readers who are parents themselves or have a family member or friend who suffers from addiction. The emotional toll addiction takes on loved ones was documented well and provides a wealth of perspective and information. The main drug discussed is meth [methamphetamine], but the journey through addiction can crossover to many other drugs of choice. The moral of this story is to stay educated, act immediately if someone under your care has risk factors for/shows signs of drug use, and don't give up. Additionally, self-care, boundary setting, and continuing to nurture other relationships are crucial for the caregiver. David appears to have many regrets over parenting style/choices that likely had an impact on his son Nic, but based on this self-written account, he did everything he knew to do in order to help his son. Genes versus environment. Addiction as a disease is genetic, but the onset of drug use is environmental. Say no to drugs, kids (and adults).

I read this book in anticipation of the film adaptation due to be released in October 2018. Although, I predict the film will be emotionally heavy given the talent of the cast, the reading experience wasn't in my opinion. The father discusses the pain, grief, and fear associated with watching a loved one battle this disease, but I think it was easy (at least for me) to remain objective because of all the segues into research/journalism. Emotion was continually interrupted which I personally appreciated and I think it was the best writing style for this type of book so it could be a learning experience for readers first and foremost. Overall, Beautiful Boy was a well-written and well-researched memoir that I'm glad I read. I also plan to read the son's memoir: Tweak which is Nic's own account of growing up with addiction.

My favorite quote:
"Sometimes it startles me that life goes on, but it does, inexorably." ...more

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Mar 03, 2008 Madison rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Recommends it for: Anyone with an addict in the family.

Shelves: own, sad-but-good, worth-reading-again, memoir

For people close to an addict: Read this book if you have not yet realized that you are not alone.

Obviously I'm aware that I'm not the only person out there with an addict in the family. However after reading this book, I realize that I'm not alone in feeling completely confused, furious, wronged, neglected, saddened, helpless, judged, torn, and exhausted, (not to mention a million other things) when dealing with my always recovering drug addicted sister.

David Sheff represents the wrath of addic ...more

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Jun 16, 2008 Cathyb53 rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Gut-wrenching! I read this because I saw the author, David Sheff, talking about it on Oprah, and because I have children close in age to his son; although I was fortunate enough to avoid the hell of parenting an addicted kid, I have been there with many of my friends, and with friends of my kids'.

There's nothing new in this story - the "plot", such as it is, is painfully familiar to so many of us baby-boomers as our own children reached the danger years. The strength of this story is in the aut Gut-wrenching! I read this because I saw the author, David Sheff, talking about it on Oprah, and because I have children close in age to his son; although I was fortunate enough to avoid the hell of parenting an addicted kid, I have been there with many of my friends, and with friends of my kids'.

There's nothing new in this story - the "plot", such as it is, is painfully familiar to so many of us baby-boomers as our own children reached the danger years. The strength of this story is in the author's honesty about the unspeakable, at times unbearable, pain suffered by the father of an addict as he tries to roll with the punches his beloved son gives out. I think that unless you are a parent yourself perhaps you can't fully understand the horror of seeing your child, your very own child whom you have loved more than the universe itself, descend into the nightmare of addiction: the helplessness, the all-consuming nature of the distress, the way it reaches into every corner of your life, even causing you at times to sacrifice all the good things you may have going for you - Sheff's story is so raw and brutal that I could physically feel my heart being squeezed as I read of his pain.

Because here's the secret thing: Sheff's son could have been my child, or the child of any one of us Boomers. We played with drugs in our own youth, we tried to raise our children in what we thought was a new world, different from that of the generations before us and somehow more promising - but somewhere along the way things went horribly wrong, and so many of our children have descended into a life we would never have thought possible for "one of us". It is this identification with the pain and bewilderment Sheff feels that made this, for me, a compelling and powerful work. I was lucky - my own children were lucky - and we avoided, by the grace of who-knows-what-power, the misery of addiction, but in my heart I know that with a few fairly simple twists of fate it could have been me trying to figure out how to parent an addicted and relapsing child. This book made me feel so lucky, and so sad for those who weren't.

David Sheff is an excellent writer; his ability to articulate his pain makes this book all the more compelling. He has an amazing ability to make this account NOT just another "oh, ain't it awful?" memoir. We don't need more of those! But I do believe that reading this book will bring humility and gratitude to those of us who have only had to witness the struggle as we've seen it in friends, and children of friends, and friends of children, and a rare empathy, if not comfort, to those whose circumstances have brought them more intimately into the struggle. And that's where the power of this book really lies - in its ability to provoke our empathy for both parent and child, because in doing so it enriches our connection, our humanity. ...more

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Apr 01, 2009 Elyse Walters rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

*Sunil*: I came back in here to 'edit' my *STARS*.....(you gave it 4): Pretty high for you, too!

I'll always give this book a *5*! I admire David for writing it. (you know 'our' daughter was sick for years .....different ...yet the same in ways) ---

We even had some connection with David ----(but that is besides the point) ---

I felt the book contributed 'BETTER' than MOST to what ANY parent goes through --- (it hard so much fricken heart ---it was painful).

ok.....I've got things to do ---I wrote t ...more

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Nov 27, 2018 Anne ✨ rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: biography-memoir, books-to-movie

The recently released movie, Beautiful Boy, is based on a pair of memoirs from father and son David and Nic Sheff that chronicle, from each of their points of view, the heartbreaking experience of survival, relapse, and recovery in a family coping with addiction over many years.

The father shares his perspective in this book, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction, while the son's book is Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines

I read the father's book first, rating it 4*, and The recently released movie, Beautiful Boy, is based on a pair of memoirs from father and son David and Nic Sheff that chronicle, from each of their points of view, the heartbreaking experience of survival, relapse, and recovery in a family coping with addiction over many years.

The father shares his perspective in this book, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction, while the son's book is Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines

I read the father's book first, rating it 4*, and then the son's book, which I rated 3*. I have combined my review for both books into one review.

I admire both the father and son for being willing to share their stories in a very public way, and my heart went out to them. Parenting is messy. Divorce is messy. Teen years are messy. Mental health is messy. The availability and addictive nature of drugs like meth is extremely messy. This story is REAL LIFE in ALL its messiness, and it's not an easy read. But it's such a unique experience to see this type of experience told from two viewpoints, so I recommend reading both books - they are very distinct.

The father, David Sheff, is a journalist and writer and that comes across in how complete of a story he tells. The father has a maturity that enables him to see a bigger picture, to reflect upon all the different aspects, and to have integrity in telling this story. The depth of the father's love for his son permeates the book, even when he has to make extraordinarily difficult decisions in dealing with his son's addiction.

The son's book is not as polished, but is unflinchingly honest. Nic Sheff was still only in his early 20's when he wrote his book, and he had experienced multiple relapses back into drugs. He had only just been diagnosed as bipolar/depressed, and started on medicines to try and help with that. At the time of writing his book, Nick did not yet have the maturity or the distance to write a balanced story. But he writes with intense honesty, sharing ALL the ugly of his drug addiction. It was hard to read about it, with lots of trigger warnings- lots of drugs, lots of sex, lots of lying, lots of selfish destructive behavior. Nick does share some deep insights that he begins to learn going through this, but you can tell it will be more years before he can apply those insights consistently to live a clean life. At the end of this memoir the struggle is still very real for him. I wasn't too surprised, but of course saddened, when I read the blurb for his next memoir written 5 years later that he continued to struggle with the cycle of relapsing. Mental health and addiction is such an ugly, messy beast.

David and Nic were both so brave, and honest, and real with sharing their story. It's an important story to talk about. There are many families who have gone through similar experiences, many teens/young adults battling drug addiction and mental health issues. I hope that the Sheff story will help those other families not feel so alone, and that it will ignite more conversation on these serious topics. ...more

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Jun 30, 2018 Diane rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, 2018

I was so engrossed in this memoir. It is the story of a father watching his child destroy himself and the havoc that wreaks on the family he comes from. Not my story but close enough. So much of his horrifying journey struck a chord or a memory. During teen years, the somewhat innocent experimentation/desire to feel differently mindset that teens get involved in can take them on a roller-coaster addiction cycle from which it is hard to break free. I feel for all of these ‘beautiful children’ and ...more

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Jul 10, 2009 Mark rated it did not like it · review of another edition

What I learned from this book? Well, the rehab/relapse cycle is, uhhh, cyclical, which means that *you probably shouldn't write an interminable chronological account of it*. I've seldom been quite so thrilled for a book to be finished, not least of all because this author is one of the most hideously self-obsessed and self-congratulatory people I've ever had the displeasure to spend way too much virtual time with. Nothing that the addicted son, nor either of his other two children, nor he himsel ...more

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Jul 13, 2018 Kyle rated it it was ok

Shelves: nonfiction

I’m bitter about it. I know. It’s shitty of me to say these things, but my initial positive reaction to this book is hampered by the fact that it’s essentially about a severely addicted individual, who grew up in, and has maintained even after sobriety, a life of privilege. Drug and alcohol addiction is an un-biased monster. It affects all walks of life. I know this. It’s just, to be frank, irritating to hear about a young white male of high socioeconomic standing, manage to be so thoroughly pri I’m bitter about it. I know. It’s shitty of me to say these things, but my initial positive reaction to this book is hampered by the fact that it’s essentially about a severely addicted individual, who grew up in, and has maintained even after sobriety, a life of privilege. Drug and alcohol addiction is an un-biased monster. It affects all walks of life. I know this. It’s just, to be frank, irritating to hear about a young white male of high socioeconomic standing, manage to be so thoroughly privileged during (and subsequently following) such dark years, when there are stories out there of people (due to their lesser social stations) who don’t have the advantages that Nic does... and especially don’t have the connections that lead them book deals and careers working in television.

Not to say that Nic, who now allegedly lives a drug and alcohol-free life, should have wound up impoverished and working menial jobs... but I cannot get over the fact that, yes, his family has money, and they continue to take in money, and Nic himself has even managed to draft his own bestselling memoir (among other novels), and has even written movie reviews (my dream job!) for highly mainstream publications, and for popular television.

And I understand there is no choice in how you grow up— whether it be wealthy or paycheck-to-paycheck. But Nic’s family made some mistakes that only exist in the bourgeoisie world of theirs: You do NOT allow a hardcore drug addict to move thousands of miles away to live with (another) privileged family you know, and then purchase said drug addict a fucking apartment in BROOKLYN where they can essentially shoot up in peace. What happened to tough love? Just another young, rich white guy living off mommy and daddy in NYC, except with a terrible meth habit. It’s sad, and it’s counter-productive. Soon enough, though, the situation and emotions catch up with them: the resounding, numbing resignation to their son’s plight, as well as their own. They finally realize it’s best to cut him off financially, and offer no outs but rehabilitation. You cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves— every case isn’t going to be like any other, but it mainly boils down to that. I’m a sober adult living maybe not my best life, but a clean life. And I’m content. The particulars of my story are different, but the overall ugly truths are not. Nic has, again, opportunities that far exceed most.

On the writing:
David Scheff’s writing is resoundingly concrete and concise, but oftentimes dull and redundant (much like the stages of his son’s addiction: cyclical and repetitive in terms of rehab, relapse, rehab, relapse etc. etc.). There were many times, too, where I found him a bit self-congratulatory; attempting to come off as a hip father: frequently mentioning indie/cool bands and hipster films, as if there was some weird kind of pride behind his telling the reader of this. I get it. You don’t need to incessantly reference reading The New Yorker, and Wes Anderson, and camping trips to Big Sur, or jetting around the world for vacations. It instills a message of disingenuous smugness, even if only meant in a harmless way. Something else to point out: The book itself is overlong. What started as an article in a newspaper, grew into a story that was stretched far beyond its own parameters, in what felt like an effort to fill pages. 80% of the book was, for me, uninspiring any emotions. The last 20% eventually evolved into one of strong emotion and familial struggle, through Nic’s continued addiction and (Fifth? Sixth?) recovery process. Within those final 80-or-so pages, I felt David’s hurricane of emotions quite viscerally: grief and pain, hope and disappointment, anxiety and numbed-out grave acceptance that his life, and that of his son’s, will forever be a seesaw of addiction and recovery, where the former may be a few months and the latter a few years, or a couple of days and a decade.

And I’ll say this: I’m so happy Nic continues to work on abating his addiction— and I say “continues”, because it’s an ongoing process, and he’ll be in recovery for the rest of his life. You mentally never stop being an addict; you only stop physically being one. This is a story that, even with its flaws, is one worth telling. There are many valuable insights here— for parents, brothers and sisters, friends, spouses, and children of addicts. The drug epidemic in America is just that: an epidemic! The author writes that “Addiction is America’s deep, dark secret”, and that’s damn accurate. I don’t know of any one person that hasn’t dealt with addiction in one way or another— a family member, a friend, a child, a lover, themselves. It’s killing us; it’s taking over and destroying the youth of this country. Because, let’s face facts, teenagers and young adults are using more and more since the early aughts. We hide it under rugs and behind closed doors most of the time, but it’s there. Drugs have been, and will continue to be, a major problem in the United States, and I’m glad that there is renewed interest in memoirs such as David and Nic Scheff’s (because of the upcoming film adaptation) for the sole reason that it’s bringing the addiction crisis back into the mainstream.

I’ll end with this: More needs to be done to combat/treat the disease. Until the war on drugs in this country is won (or made somewhat less catastrophic), we can strive to erase the stigma against addicts and recovering addicts, and help the populace that is in recovery by supporting them however we can and for as long as we can. ...more

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Apr 18, 2019 Bark | Ladies Of Horror Fiction rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: audiobook, non-fiction

This is a grueling and sad account of a family torn apart when a beloved son with a promising future becomes addicted to alcohol and meth (one of the worst of all drugs because it permanently alters your brain). I read this after watching the grueling and heartbreaking movie of the same name. I am again filled with sadness for all of them. Why did I do this to myself?! Now I'm off to listen to the son's account because I crave more torture, apparently. ...more

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Apr 17, 2008 Kerri rated it liked it · review of another edition

Recommends it for: Anyone who's known an addict; anyone who knows someone who has an addict in their life

Recommended to Kerri by: D bought it, but hasn't read it

Shelves: non-fiction

3.5 stars. Hmmm... so close to to four stars. A tough read, an easy read. A father's account of his son's addiction to meth (among other things), but there's so much in here that's familiar to anyone who's known someone addicted to anything. The same things that make me consider this book "just okay" (the repetition of themes, the over-dramaticism, the self-absorption) are the same things that make it so realistic and relatable to anyone who's had with an addict in their lives. He does a good jo ...more

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Nov 30, 2014 Donna rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, autobiography-memoir

I'm struggling with this review. I am making an exception and breaking one of my own rules. In autobiographies/memoirs, I don't like judgmental reviews when someone opens up and lets the world in by telling their story to all who will read it. But this book was so irritating to me.

It felt like the author was looking for complete absolution, when there was none needed. There didn't seem to be any 'self' honesty, but he had no problems pointing out the faults or ill advice of others. He blamed eve ...more

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Nov 03, 2014 Spider the Doof Warrior rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

So here is a sad, beautiful book about a father who loves his son so much but he was struggling with drug addiction. And he suffered from the guilt of letting his family down. This is in the father's perspective. If you want to read his son's perspective read Tweak.

The main thing to realize when it comes to drug addiction is that it can affect anyone from any background. You don't have to be someone living in a bowery or in a crack house to be an addict. Someone can come from a rich family, or a ...more

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Mar 22, 2019 Liza Fireman rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: read-from-shelf, ebook, shelf-2019

This book is so painful, and so hard to read as a parent. David Sheff wrote a book about his son Nic, and about the period when he was addict to Crystal Meth. An addiction the ruins the body, the brain, and the relationships in the house.
The addiction took over Nic, and it also took over David and his wife Karen, and his two little siblings, Daisy and Jasper. Nic lost everything he had, he was a bright young man that could not resist drugs, and he gave his life to this addiction starting a very This book is so painful, and so hard to read as a parent. David Sheff wrote a book about his son Nic, and about the period when he was addict to Crystal Meth. An addiction the ruins the body, the brain, and the relationships in the house.
The addiction took over Nic, and it also took over David and his wife Karen, and his two little siblings, Daisy and Jasper. Nic lost everything he had, he was a bright young man that could not resist drugs, and he gave his life to this addiction starting a very early age of 12 with pot. And of course there was an excuse: "It's hard. I don't know. Everybody drinks. Everybody smokes." What Nic had throughout the whole time is parents who love him and care for him. I can't describe David's way of caring for Nic and trying to save him. From looking for him on the streets to putting him in rehab, again and again and again. This all happened while Nic was breaking into his home, disappearing and almost dying from OD several times. My heart wrenched throughout the book, and I am so happy that Nic found his way in the end.

We cannot live for our children, nor making choices for them. My children will live with or without me. It is a staggering realization for a parent, but one that ultimately frees us to let our children grow up. David blamed himself for divorcing Nic's mom when Nic was 5, and maybe there was something to it, or maybe not. Many drug addicts come from intact families.
The most painful times were the relapses. He's clean for some time and lapse back. relapse is often part of recovery, but the recovery is hard and looks impossible, and is not working for all. And on the way there are people that cannot live their lives, and two children that are worried about their big brother and very affected by his addiction. His disappearances and reappearances are cruel and painful, and he can't control these as well.

David summarizes his journey and mentions not giving money to frug addicts: I would not in any way help someone using drugs to do anything other than return to rehab. I would not pay their rent, would not bail them out of jail unless they went directly into rehab, even then would not repeatedly bail them out, would not pay their debts, and would never give them money.

And he further shows the compassion of a parent, and our wishes for our children to live a happy and full lives, even when it is not up to his original expectations: At least he's alive. I have also learned (the hard way because, as it turns out, there's no other way to learn such lessons) that parents are more flexible with our hopes and dreams for our children than we ever imagined. When Nic was growing up, I thought I would be content with whatever choices he made in his life. But the truth was that I fully expected he would go to college. Of course he would. It was never questioned. I pictured him in a satisfying job, with a loving relationship, and eventually with children of his own. However, with his escalating drug use I have revised my hopes and expectations. When college seemed unlikely, I learned to live with the idea that he would skip college and go right to work. After all, many kids take a circuitous route to find themselves. But that began to seem unrealistic, and so I concluded that I would be content if he found a sense of peace. Now I live with the knowledge that, never mind the most modest definition of a normal or healthy life, my son may not make it to twenty-one.

And maybe the most important he is being reminded to live his own life, even when addiction his hitting his own son, he can't care only for Nic and forget everyone else. "Be allies. Remember, take care of yourselves. You'll be good for no one—for each other, for your children—if you don't."

5 stars. The movie is not as good as the book, but is good as a complementary watch for this. ...more

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May 31, 2019 Bookworm rated it really liked it · review of another edition

4.25 stars
What a fascinating and emotional journey this book was!!! As a parent with teenagers, I found David Sheff's words to be impactful and thought-provoking. Every parent's worst nightmare is to lose a child - drug addiction is essentially that. One's child is essentially gone and the disease takes their place. The incessant worrying and attempts to control your child's addiction hit a chord for me.

David does a wonderful job sharing his experience as a parent. What he felt, thought, exper ...more

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Sep 29, 2018 bee ❤︎ rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: oversized-sweaters

four stars ∗ tw/ mentions of drugs/addiction.

this was absolutely heartbreaking. i knew it would be before going into it, but i didn’t imagine that i would be crying like a baby after reading the last half of the book. it was mentioned numerous times how all of the stories dealing with drug addicts are essentially the same - they have the same pain, same heartache, same desperation. some have happy endings, while others do not. i never realized how true that was until i read this. currently, my ...more

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Oct 11, 2019 Valentina rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

"But you know, I don't think I will be so scared to die.
I think it's like today: the end of a vacation when you are ready to go home."

Although beautiful, I found this book in need of a few more rounds of editing, trimming, and maybe shortening of some parts I thought too repetitive. Apart from that, I felt a deep connection with Nic, his traits and actions reminding me a lot of someone I hold very dear. As illuminating as it was to read though a father's perspective, I soon realised it's equall ...more

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Apr 25, 2015 Vicky rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

One of the best books dealing with addiction I've ever read. It makes you feel fear and hope. It makes you laugh and cry. I recommend this book to anyone that loves someone, friend or family that lives with addiction. ...more

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About David Sheff

David Sheff

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David Sheff is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir Beautiful Boy. Sheff's other books include Game Over, China Dawn, and All We Are Saying. His many articles and interviews have appeared in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, Playboy, Wired, Fortune, and elsewhere. His ongoing research and reporting on the science of addiction earned him a place on Time Magazine's list of the Wor ...more

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“In his suicide note, Kurt Cobain wrote, "It's better to burn out than to fade away." He was quoting a Neil Young song about Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols. When I was twenty-four, I interviewed John Lennon. I asked him about this sentiment, one that pervades rock and roll. He took strong, outraged exception to it. "It's better to fade away like an old soldier than to burn out, " he said. "I worship people who survive. I'll take the living and the healthy.” — 216 likes

“An alcoholic will steal your wallet and lie to you. A drug addict will steal your wallet and then help you look for it.” — 104 likes

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