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Show Your Anxiety Who's Boss: A Three-Step CBT Program to Help You Reduce Anxious Thoughts and Worry

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Outsmart your anxiety with a ridiculously easy, three-step approach!

Is your anxiety running your life? Does it tell you where you can go, and when? Does it keep you trapped in a bubble of fear and panic? Anxiety can happen anytime, anywhere—and that’s why you need simple, in-the-moment skills to stay grounded when worry takes hold. This accessible guide will help you gain the upper hand, show your anxiety who’s boss, and start living the life that you were always meant to live.

In Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss, you’ll find a simple and direct three-step approach grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you gain understanding and authority over your anxious thoughts and rumination, bounce back from stress and minor setbacks, and accept what you just can’t know for sure. With this powerful guide, you’ll learn to:

Make peace with uncertainty
Stop avoiding situations
Accept and redirect anxious thoughts—so you can get on with your life
  If you’re ready to live a full and vital life without your anxiety constantly getting in the way, this straightforward guide will show you how to get back on track. It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3.

208 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2020

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About the author

Joel Minden

3 books5 followers
I'm a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) for anxiety and related concerns, author of 'Show Your Anxiety Who's Boss', and lecturer at California State University, Chico.

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5 stars
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17 (27%)
3 stars
16 (26%)
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3 (4%)
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
780 reviews30 followers
January 23, 2020
I highly recommend this book to those dealing with anxiety issues. The CBt techniques are well-explained. Some of the examples given are relatable. The author has explained the hows and whys in detail. An informative book with worksheets and practise exercises to work on. If you have gone through/going through CBT sessions, I am sure you could relate to the techniques mentioned in this book.
Profile Image for J.
563 reviews7 followers
March 1, 2020
I received an ARC from NetGalley for an honest review. This book was a blessing for me because the older I got, the harder it was to do the things I wanted to do. I have given up a lot of things I wanted to do and I learned it was anxiety standing in the way. I just couldn't talk myself into doing things like I used to. It wasn't until I found this book on NetGalley that things started to look promising. While I was reading it, I did the notebook and kept going back to it. There are so much information and tools in this book that will really help. My life has started to improve. I have the book on my kindle and have put the techniques I used there as well so no matter where I am I have my kindle so if anxiety starts taking over and I want to go hide, I can see the tools and quiet my mind.
I saw a lot of things in the book that I didn't realize I was doing because of anxiety. I just always wished I could be different. This book was an eye-opener for me. This book has given me the tools to quiet the anxiety brain so the part that wants to do it can come through. I am using the tools and not only can I see a change but others can too. This book has helped me get my life back.
Profile Image for Karen.
60 reviews
January 27, 2020
I can't wait to tell people about this book! As someone who suffers from extreme anxiety, I found Show Your Anxiety Who's Boss to be an eye-opener. This book frequently asks the reader to write responses to prompts in a personal journal. This wasn't always an option for me depending on the location I was reading it, but it definitely helps to follow those instructions in order to visualize your anxieties within the context of what is being discussed. I was reading this book while focusing on multiple anxieties that I deal with on a daily basis, but found it to be more helpful to read the book while thinking about just one issue at a time. I see myself re-reading this multiple times. Minden thoroughly explains things in a way that most if not all readers will understand. I loved this book so much that I will be purchasing it when it comes out for myself and would not hesitate to gift it to others who feel like they are struggling with anxiety. I highly recommend this book to anyone who deals with anxiety and to those who want to learn more effective natural ways to combat their challenging emotions. I received a digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Julie Anna.
234 reviews7 followers
January 28, 2020
I received an e-ARC of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss shows readers how to reduce their anxiety using an approach that you’d likely find in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), written by a therapist himself. The author approaches the regular methods of combatting anxiety, and why those attempts or notions aren’t working. Instead of these, he applies a better strategy that helps readers get down to the root of their own anxiety, what’s causing it, and how to reduce what is there.

As someone who was personally diagnosed with clinical anxiety, I’ve been working with these kinds of struggles my whole life. While some of my methods worked for some issues, others still remain to the point of dysfunction. From the first page, I learned quite a bit about myself and what went wrong with my methods. Additionally, the many writing exercises for each chapter were eye-opening for many things, mostly to see how related all of my sources of situational anxiety were.

Reading this book was oddly personal, especially for the kind of book that aims to look so deeply into your life and your troubles. In each example, the author responds with things that the reader is probably thinking – and it hit the nail on the head with what I was thinking about each time. These responses also helped bring together the purpose of the exercise, and it gave quite a bit of personal insight on top of the exercises themselves. I haven’t completed all of the exercises just yet, but this is something I will be gradually working on. There’s already so much I gathered from these exercises and I will continue to as I work on my own plan.

The only issue I had with this book was related to formatting in the e-book version. There were a few tables in this book with examples, and because the tables were not formatted correctly, it was difficult to read. I am not reducing my star rating from this as it is not the author’s doing, but I would hope that this is resolved in a newer version.

Overall, this book provides a lot of insight to those who are struggling with anxiety. I would highly recommend it if you are looking for better methods to reducing your anxiety, or even figuring out the root cause of your anxiety to begin with.

Find more of my reviews here: http://julieannasbooks.com/
Profile Image for Leigh Kirkconnell.
1 review1 follower
March 2, 2020
Show Your Anxiety Who's Boss has all the answers I needed to turn the tables on anxiety. The delivery is easy to understand and even amusing! There are online worksheets you can print out to help you implement the techniques. After reading this book I had a better understanding of how anxiety works and have been able to greatly reduce the negative impact it was taking on my life. This book is an essential resource for anyone bothered by anxiety. After struggling for years with worry and anxious feelings this book changed my life. I'm getting more copies to give to friends and family because it's clear these evidence based strategies will work for anyone!
Profile Image for Greta (Upcloseandbookish).
137 reviews3 followers
March 11, 2020
A three-step program to combat chronic anxiety full of strategies and practical information to face your anxiety head-on and not avoid it. A very detailed book with a plethora of information and exercises. A book that you will read again and again. Highly recommended.
3 reviews
July 10, 2020
Dr. Minden's approach is practical from the first chapter to the last. He provides a step by step approach to get to know what's behind the anxious thought patterns, and what to do to balance the anxiety with more realistic thought patterns. Writing exercises help to guide the reader to action instead of just wondering what to do next. This is an extremely helpful book for helping you with your own anxiety or to help to understand anxiety in someone else. It's an excellent way to get to know and deal with your 'stuff.'
2 reviews
July 22, 2020
What I like about this book is that it focuses on ways to respond more effectively to anxiety instead of working so hard to control it all the time. The book makes the case that people who struggle with anxiety get stuck in trying to feel better at the expense of avoiding other things they care about in life. I really liked the cognitive behavioral approach to finding different ways to think and act when you’re feeling anxious. The author provides many relatable examples and goes into detail about how to understand the concepts and use them in daily life. There’s a nice balance of depth and simple terminology that is easy to remember, like the cue to make “useful predictions, not anxious fictions.” My partner and I have been reading the book and now we have a common language to identify anxiety and prompt ourselves to figure out what would be helpful. Reading the book has been beneficial to me, and it’s helpful to revisit the simple and brief exercises designed to personalize the concepts. It’s a book that you can easily pick up again and return to a specific topic for reinforcement. This book is a keeper.
Profile Image for Sharon Naylor Toris .
Author 51 books22 followers
January 22, 2020
A nice primer with provided backup in the form of online worksheets, useful for those who suffer from low- to mid-grade anxiety when coping options are varied. Makes a good case that symptoms and types of anxiety are layered and fluid, and that the individual can expect to work for some relief. Realism comes as a welcome respite from following all of those prescribed steps, questions and feedback loops. I found this to be a good recommendation for friends, students and loved ones who need some additional coping ideas.
Profile Image for Diah R.
408 reviews5 followers
February 14, 2020
(I received a digital ARC via NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.)

3.5 stars rounded up

I would recced the book to anyone with anxiety.
My anxiety might be quite chronic because I got anxious reading the book lol

Show Your Anxiety Who's Boss helped me understand more about my condition and analyse it. It wasn't always rainbows and butterflies and it wasn't the type of book filled with positivity, but it is a book where you want a (quite) in-depth tells about your anxiety and how to manage it.
2,270 reviews4 followers
December 21, 2019
The holiday season can be a time of great cheer and joy.  For some though, it is a time of year when anxiety reaches its peak.  While this book is not about the holidays, it is a very good resource on anxiety in general.  The author is a practitioner of CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy.  He sets out a way to understand and work with anxiety so that it does not rule one's life.  Dr. Minden has a three step plan which includes making "useful predictions, not anxious fictions", taking action and accepting and redirecting.  The author's hope is that "these approaches will help you move from reactive to proactive, from emotional to logical, from avoidant to active and from judgmental to accepting."  Through keeping a notebook and following the strategies in this book, you may find that you can cope better.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this title in exchange for an honest review.
December 22, 2019
I’m giving this book 3 ⭐️. I thought that it was very good and highly informative for someone living with this condition. There were very helpful parts that stuck out to me . I definitely recommend this book. Thank you to Netgalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest opinion. #Netgalley
1 review1 follower
June 18, 2020
Dr. Minden's book, Show Your Anxiety Who's Boss, is an excellent book to help you tackle anxiety! He breaks down important myths of anxiety and helps the reader truly understand why some things we *want* to do when managing our anxiety aren't necessarily helpful. Through his 3-step approach, he skillfully presents the science behind CBT and shares practical tips for long-standing change. He also offers many examples and exercises for the reader to relate to and practice these new skills. I've recommended this book to many family members, friends, and clients. They've found his writing to be approachable and the information incredibly beneficial as they navigate new ways of relating to anxiety. This is one of those books that you'll go back to time & time again!
Profile Image for Pi.
875 reviews16 followers
August 9, 2021
Lęk - koślawy towarzysz wszystkich, który często podszczypuje nas w pupę i utrudnia siedzenie. To oczywiście moja, bardzo "lekka" definicja bardzo poważnego problemu, który dotyka wielu ludzi w stopniu zbyt silnym i nierzadko paraliżuje życie. Zawsze interesowało mnie to zagadnienie, bo lęk codziennie pojawia się w harmonogramie dnia... bywa, że i nocą nie daje spać. Zna go każdy, ale już nie każdy potrafi z nim sobie porodzić. Znamy skrajne przypadki, w których lęk robi z człowieka więźnia, nie pozwala wyjść z domu - to bardzo "filmowy lęk", uwielbiany przez kino. Lecz od czego się zaczyna? Dlaczego niektórych pożera? A inni, znacząca większość, potrafią z nim funkcjonować? I czy zawsze jest zły? Pytań jest wiele, a "TY TU RZĄDZISZ" robi dobrą robotę - naprawdę dobrą.
Joel Minden psychologiem klinicznym, który w niesamowicie przystępny sposób prowadzi nas przez "lęk". To, co warto wiedzieć o tej książce, to fakt, że nie jest to jeden z tysięcy, wyrastających jak grzyby po deszczu - poradników. Nie znajdziecie tu idiotyzmów w stylu "usiądź na trawie, weź głęboki oddech, pomyśl o motylach i powiedz, że jesteś super". Nie! Jeśli by tak było, to ja bym po tę książkę w życiu nie sięgnęła, bo po pierwsze, mam ogromne zaufanie do Wydawnictwo UJ, a już szczególnie do ich pozycji psychologicznych - zawsze są to książki naukowe, nigdy zaś nie trafiłam na brednie ogarniętych dzikim EGO celebrytów. Ich książki po prostu są rzetelne i pomocne, oraz serwują mięsistą wiedzę, a nie pseudoporadnikowe bulgoty. Po drugie, nie czytam poradników, zaś często sięgam po pozycje popularnonaukowe, które czasem mają znamiona poradnika, ale przede wszystkim są starannym przedstawieniem popartych życiem badań.
To, na mnie w tej książce zachwyciło, to inne, niebanalne podejście do lęku i do radzenia sobie z nim. Autor nie tworzy iluzji, nie oszukuje nas, że lęk minie, że lęk zniknie, że lęk odejdzie, że lęk zostawi nas w spokoju, że lęk przestanie mieć znaczenie - NIE! Autor szczerze przyznaje, że lęk będzie deptał nam po piętach zawsze, ale to od nas zależy, jak go będziemy postrzegać. Przede wszystkim musimy zdać sobie sprawę z jego istnienia. Musimy też go odpowiednio zidentyfikować, nazwać i wskazać dziedziny naszego życia, na które ma największy wpływ.
Lęk nie zawsze jest zły. Lęk nas ostrzega, bywa drogowskazem, czerwoną lampką... byle by nie świeciła zbyt długo. Minden podaje przykłady, przytacza życiorysy, sprawia, że czytelnik zaczyna się oswajać z własnymi obawami. Jest to także, jak już wspomniałam, wiedza psychologiczna podana w bardzo przystępny sposób. Mamy tu konkretne informacje, bo tylko z konkretami da się pracować.
"TY TU RZĄDZISZ", jest także swoistym zeszytem ćwiczeń. Nie bójcie się jednak, bo nie są to ćwiczenia szkolne i tylko od was zależy, czy się w nie zaangażujecie - ja doradzam sporządzanie notatek podczas lektury. Dzięki tym sowim zapiskom poznacie lepiej siebie - to przecież TY jesteś dla siebie NAJWAŻNIEJSZYM rozmówcą.

lęk nie musi być wrogiem
Wydawnictwo Uniwersytetu Jagiellońskiego
4 reviews
October 1, 2020
The information presented in this book was definitely helpful. I’ve been reading a number of self help books lately with a focus on anxiety. This book opened my eyes to some new ideas and concepts that others had not. Some of these concepts were more relatable to me and the kind of anxiety I deal with. The techniques are certainly some that I will continue to keep up with and use.

Why I am giving it three stars and not higher is more about how it was written. I see that the author is a professor, and that is how the writing feels: like a professor giving you a lecture. This is fine if that is your preferred method but I prefer my self help books to feel more conversational and relatable. There was a coldness to the writing, it felt very impersonal sometimes as though I was studying the subject in school rather than working through personal issues. Because of this it was sometimes difficult to get into, feeling more like a chore to read rather than something positive and enjoyable.
Profile Image for Sheri.
136 reviews2 followers
June 18, 2020
I received this book as an LT Give Away in exchange for a review. My extended family has a history os generalized anxiety so I thought this might be helpful. The writing was done well and easy to understand. Dr. Minden was also very good at giving real life examples that were great illustrations of anxiety, and how one may feel, throughout the book. I also liked how the suggested worksheets were available online as well. I have yet to try the full program but in reading, I can see how if these steps are repeated over enough to become automatic that it would, indeed, be very helpful. I think if you are self-motivated and are into self-help that this would definitely be something to try.
Profile Image for Gail.
176 reviews
January 19, 2020
A well intentioned, structured attempt to help those with anxiety by getting them to look at their thought patterns, questioning them as well as identifying strategies for dealing with anxious thoughts. The author advises the use of a notebook during this process and worksheets are available online. The advice will be helpful for many readers, but probably not adequate for others with deep rooted anxiety issues.

Full Disclosure--NetGalley and the publisher provided me with a digital ARC of this book. This is my honest review.
Profile Image for Ashley Peterson.
Author 4 books35 followers
May 1, 2020
Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss by Joel Minden provides strategies drawn from cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help manage anxiety. CBT is an evidence-based treatment, so while the strategies won’t necessarily for everyone, they are legit, unlike many of the other self-help books floating around.

The approach is broken down into three major steps: predictions, not anxious fictions; take action, demand satisfaction; and accept and redirect. The book is divided into three sections based on these steps.

The book starts off with information about some of the important elements of anxiety. The author explains that anxiety involves overestimating the degree of threat and underlying our ability to cope. Two key problematic responses to this are avoidance and emotion-focused coping (things that ease the anxiety temporarily but actually end up feeding into it).

You may be familiar with the term cognitive distortions, but for the most part that isn’t used in this book. Instead, the author uses the term anxious fictions to describe distorted predictions about the future. The three key anxious fictions identified are probability overestimation, catastrophizing, and inadequate coping.

The author points out that anxiety is a problem of over-control, and I found it interesting the way he explained it. While anxiety can feel totally out of control, it’s associated with a low ability to tolerate uncertainty, as well as attempts to mentally get control over things that are totally out of our control.

The second section of the book is focused on pushing through avoidance for the purpose of living a satisfying life by engaging in meaningful activities. The book uses the mantra “do it anyway.” The author acknowledges, as he does a number of times throughout the book, that actually doing this isn’t going to be easy.

Various activities are suggested, including identifying manageable first steps and conducting behavioural experiments to generate evidence. There are plenty of questions scattered throughout the book to stimulate thinking. Scenarios are given to illustrate some of the major concepts covered.

Each chapter ends with an explanation of how the material covered can help and what’s next, as well as bullet point summaries of the key points. The final chapter gives a very good quick and easy point form summary of the book’s major concepts. The second to last chapter is written Q&A style to address questions you might have about what was covered.

This book was quite good. There’s wasn’t anything that stood out enough for me to say it was great, but if you’re looking for a CBT book for anxiety, this one is well worth considering.

I received a reviewer copy of this book from www.netgalley.com.

This review first appeared on https://mentalhealthathome.org/2020/0...
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