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Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits
What to do when your husband runs off and leaves you single—when being single is not your thing?
Lizzie has decided that single life does not suit her.
From castles in Scotland to barns in Kent, via apartments in London, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery as a single woman with all the humorous pitfalls along the way.
Naked artists, extreme earth lovers, taxidermy, and blow up dolls, are just some of the encounters Lizzie has to endure in her effort to get her life back on track.
With the dashing Scot, Ronan, by her side, will she ever be able to do that?
Or will his mountain of baggage just pile alongside hers creating an impenetrable wall between them?
Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits is a Romantic Comedy and suitable for readers over the age of 18.
Lizzie has decided that single life does not suit her.
From castles in Scotland to barns in Kent, via apartments in London, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery as a single woman with all the humorous pitfalls along the way.
Naked artists, extreme earth lovers, taxidermy, and blow up dolls, are just some of the encounters Lizzie has to endure in her effort to get her life back on track.
With the dashing Scot, Ronan, by her side, will she ever be able to do that?
Or will his mountain of baggage just pile alongside hers creating an impenetrable wall between them?
Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits is a Romantic Comedy and suitable for readers over the age of 18.
- GenresRomantic Comedy
Unknown Binding
First published August 1, 2019
66 people are currently reading
159 people want to read
About the author
Tracie Podger
54 books657 followersTracie Podger currently lives in Kent, UK with her husband and a rather obnoxious cat called George. She’s a Padi Scuba Diving Instructor with a passion for writing. Tracie has been fortunate to have dived some of the wonderful oceans of the world where she can indulge in another hobby, underwater photography. She likes getting up close and personal with sharks.
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Available in ebook and paperback....
Fallen Angel, Part 1
Fallen Angel, Part 2
Fallen Angel, Part 3
Fallen Angel, Part 4
Fallen Angel, Part 5
Fallen Angel, Part 6
Fallen Angel, Part 7
The Fallen Angel Box Set
Evelyn - A novella to accompany the Fallen Angel Series
Robert - To accompany the Fallen Angel Series
Travis - To accompany the Fallen Angel Series
Rocco - A novella to accompany the Fallen Angel Series
Taylor & Mack - A novella to accompany the Fallen Angel Series
Angelica - A novella to accompany the Fallen Angel Series
A Virtual Affair
Harlot
Gabriel
A Deadly Sin
The Facilitator
The Facilitator, part 2
The Facilitator, part 3
Letters to Lincoln
Jackson
The Freedom Diamond - a short novella
Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits
Cold Nips & Saggy Tits
Posh Frocks & Peacocks
My Lord
CEO series - twelve novellas to be released each month through 2021
Follow Tracie here...
Website
How about a free novella?
If you sign up for my newsletter, you'll receive a free copy of my novella, Evelyn, in the welcome email! Click this link...
Newsletter Sign Up
Available in ebook and paperback....
Fallen Angel, Part 1
Fallen Angel, Part 2
Fallen Angel, Part 3
Fallen Angel, Part 4
Fallen Angel, Part 5
Fallen Angel, Part 6
Fallen Angel, Part 7
The Fallen Angel Box Set
Evelyn - A novella to accompany the Fallen Angel Series
Robert - To accompany the Fallen Angel Series
Travis - To accompany the Fallen Angel Series
Rocco - A novella to accompany the Fallen Angel Series
Taylor & Mack - A novella to accompany the Fallen Angel Series
Angelica - A novella to accompany the Fallen Angel Series
A Virtual Affair
Harlot
Gabriel
A Deadly Sin
The Facilitator
The Facilitator, part 2
The Facilitator, part 3
Letters to Lincoln
Jackson
The Freedom Diamond - a short novella
Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits
Cold Nips & Saggy Tits
Posh Frocks & Peacocks
My Lord
CEO series - twelve novellas to be released each month through 2021
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 92 reviews
August 3, 2019
Favorite Quotes:
I have nothing against drag queens, per se. I have everything against my husband running off with one.
It wasn’t quite the introduction to Pilates I was expecting. In fact, Pilates wasn’t quite what I was expecting full stop, and bore no resemblance to the old DVD I’d found and watched. We were shown to mats, and I was expected to contort my body into positions it hadn’t been in since I was a rampant teenager with a penchant for experimental sex positions. It was the slight leakage from a weak bladder and the pain from holding in a fart that had me pretending to remember a very important appointment and leaving the class early.
What if he was a murderer? I grabbed my phone and set three alerts to ring throughout the evening. As for layers, by the time anyone got my Tena Lady pants off, my tights, my body sculpture corset thingy that was supposed to give me back the shape I had twenty years ago according to the saleswoman, they would be too exhausted to do anything awful! Yes, I was safe from being attacked, I decided, I just had to make sure not to be murdered.
Manuel—and I didn’t for one minute believe that to be his name—flounced from the washroom. “What a big prick,” I said, picking another sheet from the basket. “I saw him naked once—you’d never use those words where he was concerned.” Maggie waggled her pinkie at me.
“I diagnose a serious case of notenoughsexsyndrome,” I said. “Oh, no. Is there a cure?” he asked dramatically…
My Review:
I gleefully giggled-snorted my way through this cleverly amusing yet thoughtfully insightful tale of Lizzie, a newly divorced fifty-year-old woman who was determined to set a new course for herself. Her husband had left her for an over six-foot-tall former sailor/drag queen; man - that had to burn white-hot with humiliation! The engaging storylines sparkled with riotous levity and were cunningly paced and deftly constructed, while each oddly endearing character was nimbly nuanced and wittily described.
The irreverent title was derived from the descriptive nicknames given to a pair of octogenarian nudists that Lizzie happened across while they were attending an artists’ retreat on the same property she was visiting. Just one of many animated and comedic encounters Lizzie experienced while settling into her new status of being a single mature woman with a capricious bladder and fair amount of sass as well as an exceedingly odd neighbor and new attractive male friend of indefinable and frequently shifting status.
I feasted on each lively and rib-tickling twist and delightfully humorous turn and smirked and snickered at Ms. Podger’s cheeky humor. I also picked up a new addition to my Brit Word List with boss-eyed – which is British slang for having either one eye or misaligned eyes.
I have nothing against drag queens, per se. I have everything against my husband running off with one.
It wasn’t quite the introduction to Pilates I was expecting. In fact, Pilates wasn’t quite what I was expecting full stop, and bore no resemblance to the old DVD I’d found and watched. We were shown to mats, and I was expected to contort my body into positions it hadn’t been in since I was a rampant teenager with a penchant for experimental sex positions. It was the slight leakage from a weak bladder and the pain from holding in a fart that had me pretending to remember a very important appointment and leaving the class early.
What if he was a murderer? I grabbed my phone and set three alerts to ring throughout the evening. As for layers, by the time anyone got my Tena Lady pants off, my tights, my body sculpture corset thingy that was supposed to give me back the shape I had twenty years ago according to the saleswoman, they would be too exhausted to do anything awful! Yes, I was safe from being attacked, I decided, I just had to make sure not to be murdered.
Manuel—and I didn’t for one minute believe that to be his name—flounced from the washroom. “What a big prick,” I said, picking another sheet from the basket. “I saw him naked once—you’d never use those words where he was concerned.” Maggie waggled her pinkie at me.
“I diagnose a serious case of notenoughsexsyndrome,” I said. “Oh, no. Is there a cure?” he asked dramatically…
My Review:
I gleefully giggled-snorted my way through this cleverly amusing yet thoughtfully insightful tale of Lizzie, a newly divorced fifty-year-old woman who was determined to set a new course for herself. Her husband had left her for an over six-foot-tall former sailor/drag queen; man - that had to burn white-hot with humiliation! The engaging storylines sparkled with riotous levity and were cunningly paced and deftly constructed, while each oddly endearing character was nimbly nuanced and wittily described.
The irreverent title was derived from the descriptive nicknames given to a pair of octogenarian nudists that Lizzie happened across while they were attending an artists’ retreat on the same property she was visiting. Just one of many animated and comedic encounters Lizzie experienced while settling into her new status of being a single mature woman with a capricious bladder and fair amount of sass as well as an exceedingly odd neighbor and new attractive male friend of indefinable and frequently shifting status.
I feasted on each lively and rib-tickling twist and delightfully humorous turn and smirked and snickered at Ms. Podger’s cheeky humor. I also picked up a new addition to my Brit Word List with boss-eyed – which is British slang for having either one eye or misaligned eyes.
August 28, 2020
Recensione in Anteprima sulla mia pagina Bookstagram
https://www.instagram.com/p/CEbOPvQne...
È la storia di Lizzie, una simpatica donna di cinquant’anni che si trova a dover affrontare alcune problematiche legate alla sua età, e il divorzio da un marito bugiardo, che la lascia dopo venti anni di matrimonio.
«Gli avevo dato la mia vita. Era tutto per me. Ci eravamo messi insieme quando avevo sedici anni. Bugia, ne avevo quindici.»
Era sempre stata un tipo da manicure, appuntamenti regolari dal parrucchiere, bei vestiti e casa spaziosa. Il suo ex marito Harry guadagnava bene, ma non era mai stata la moglie trofeo o quella che viveva alle sue spalle. Aveva svolto tutti i possibili lavori non qualificati per sostenerlo, mentre lui svolgeva lavori precari e si preparava ad essere il broker che poi era diventato.
Le amiche con cui pranzava abitualmente erano improvvisamente sparite. In realtà si trattava solo delle mogli dei colleghi di Harry, che era stata costretta a frequentare. Era come se ci fosse qualcosa di contagioso riguardo alle separazioni, ed era ovvio che per loro una donna single fosse qualcuno di sgradevole.
Trovatasi di punto in bianco a dover affrontare la vita da single, Lizzie compie dei viaggi rocamboleschi in giro per l’Inghilterra e la Scozia, facendo quelle esperienze allegre e al limite della normalità, che non aveva potuto fare in gioventù. Vivrà situazioni folli, sulle quali riderà sopra, divertendosi per buona parte del libro. Finirà anche per scoprire una sé stessa indipendente che le piacerà tantissimo.
Lizzie è una donna autoironica, che si prende in giro su tutto, specialmente sui propri difetti. Un aspetto questo che ho apprezzato molto, e che mi ha fatto divertire.
Durante il suo viaggio fa la conoscenza di Ronan, un uomo dal passato doloroso che ancora lo tormenta, che finisce per influenzare le sue scelte e i suoi atteggiamenti. Nasce tra di loro una bella e speciale amicizia, che si trasforma ben presto in una vera e propria relazione sentimentale.
«Molte volte avevo preso la decisione che non avevo bisogno di un uomo nella mia vita e, immancabilmente, sapevo di prendermi in giro. Sapevo anche che era la conseguenza dell’essere stata tradita e lasciata a raccogliere i pezzi»
Ronan era un uomo molto attraente. I suoi capelli neri erano striati di grigio, i suoi occhi castano scuro avevano una scintilla, ma soprattutto aveva carisma. E apprezzava la solarità di Lizzie: «Adoro il tuo senso dell’umorismo: è stata la prima cosa ad attrarmi in quel bar.»
Un racconto umoristico e stravagante, che affronta le difficoltà incontrate da una donna, da poco divorziata, nel momento in cui si trova a dover vivere la propria vita da single, proprio quando deve fare anche i conti con disturbi e alcuni problemi legati alla sua età, che fanno capolino nel proprio quotidiano. Alcuni di essi però, sono stati portati all’eccesso e troppo enfatizzati, a mio parere, divenendo a tratti comici.
Sono tanti i momenti esilaranti che troviamo nel libro, tra tutti spicca quello in cui la protagonista decide di indossare una tuta dimagrante “particolare”:
«Se fino a quel momento credevo che indossare indumenti in lycra fosse difficile, la tuta dimagrante ed economica li superava di gran lunga. Tirai e piegai, arrotolai e grugnii per lo sforzo. Dopo venti minuti, ero riuscita a farmela arrivare alla vita. Sentivo già le gambe che pulsavano e mi preoccupai che mi si bloccasse la circolazione»
Una commedia divertente e leggera. Ho riso tantissimo anche per le innumerevoli interruzioni dell’anziana signora Sharpe.
*ringrazio l’autrice per la copia digitale *
https://www.instagram.com/p/CEbOPvQne...
È la storia di Lizzie, una simpatica donna di cinquant’anni che si trova a dover affrontare alcune problematiche legate alla sua età, e il divorzio da un marito bugiardo, che la lascia dopo venti anni di matrimonio.
«Gli avevo dato la mia vita. Era tutto per me. Ci eravamo messi insieme quando avevo sedici anni. Bugia, ne avevo quindici.»
Era sempre stata un tipo da manicure, appuntamenti regolari dal parrucchiere, bei vestiti e casa spaziosa. Il suo ex marito Harry guadagnava bene, ma non era mai stata la moglie trofeo o quella che viveva alle sue spalle. Aveva svolto tutti i possibili lavori non qualificati per sostenerlo, mentre lui svolgeva lavori precari e si preparava ad essere il broker che poi era diventato.
Le amiche con cui pranzava abitualmente erano improvvisamente sparite. In realtà si trattava solo delle mogli dei colleghi di Harry, che era stata costretta a frequentare. Era come se ci fosse qualcosa di contagioso riguardo alle separazioni, ed era ovvio che per loro una donna single fosse qualcuno di sgradevole.
Trovatasi di punto in bianco a dover affrontare la vita da single, Lizzie compie dei viaggi rocamboleschi in giro per l’Inghilterra e la Scozia, facendo quelle esperienze allegre e al limite della normalità, che non aveva potuto fare in gioventù. Vivrà situazioni folli, sulle quali riderà sopra, divertendosi per buona parte del libro. Finirà anche per scoprire una sé stessa indipendente che le piacerà tantissimo.
Lizzie è una donna autoironica, che si prende in giro su tutto, specialmente sui propri difetti. Un aspetto questo che ho apprezzato molto, e che mi ha fatto divertire.
Durante il suo viaggio fa la conoscenza di Ronan, un uomo dal passato doloroso che ancora lo tormenta, che finisce per influenzare le sue scelte e i suoi atteggiamenti. Nasce tra di loro una bella e speciale amicizia, che si trasforma ben presto in una vera e propria relazione sentimentale.
«Molte volte avevo preso la decisione che non avevo bisogno di un uomo nella mia vita e, immancabilmente, sapevo di prendermi in giro. Sapevo anche che era la conseguenza dell’essere stata tradita e lasciata a raccogliere i pezzi»
Ronan era un uomo molto attraente. I suoi capelli neri erano striati di grigio, i suoi occhi castano scuro avevano una scintilla, ma soprattutto aveva carisma. E apprezzava la solarità di Lizzie: «Adoro il tuo senso dell’umorismo: è stata la prima cosa ad attrarmi in quel bar.»
Un racconto umoristico e stravagante, che affronta le difficoltà incontrate da una donna, da poco divorziata, nel momento in cui si trova a dover vivere la propria vita da single, proprio quando deve fare anche i conti con disturbi e alcuni problemi legati alla sua età, che fanno capolino nel proprio quotidiano. Alcuni di essi però, sono stati portati all’eccesso e troppo enfatizzati, a mio parere, divenendo a tratti comici.
Sono tanti i momenti esilaranti che troviamo nel libro, tra tutti spicca quello in cui la protagonista decide di indossare una tuta dimagrante “particolare”:
«Se fino a quel momento credevo che indossare indumenti in lycra fosse difficile, la tuta dimagrante ed economica li superava di gran lunga. Tirai e piegai, arrotolai e grugnii per lo sforzo. Dopo venti minuti, ero riuscita a farmela arrivare alla vita. Sentivo già le gambe che pulsavano e mi preoccupai che mi si bloccasse la circolazione»
Una commedia divertente e leggera. Ho riso tantissimo anche per le innumerevoli interruzioni dell’anziana signora Sharpe.
*ringrazio l’autrice per la copia digitale *
Currently reading
June 7, 2019Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits is a humorous journey through single life at fifty-years-old. I want to give you a little background to this story. A family member (I'll keep her nameless) found herself single at fifty after having been with her husband since the age of fifteen. I need you to believe me when I tell you of some of the conversations that went a little like this...
ME: Don't accept a drink from a stranger, okay?
THEM: Why?
ME: Because it might be drugged.
THEM: Who is going to drug me?
ME: You never know, just don't accept a drink from a stranger!
THEM: I don't think someone would drug a fifty-year-old.
ME: Okay, but maybe don't take the risk?
ME: Make sure you watch the barman open your drink and don't leave it unattended on the bar.
THEM: *Sighs* Okayyyyy! *drags out the word like a teenager*
ME: When did I become the boss of you? *also sighs and drags out words like a teenager*
This a real conversation! Go ask your mum if she'd know how to date after being married for so many years and you might be surprised by their answer :)
I'm fifty-years-old and I honestly would hate to be in the dating scene now! Maybe you have some funny dating stories to share.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy my first foray into romantic comedy, it will be interesting to read your feedback since I don't actually think I'm a funny person, generally ;)
ME: Don't accept a drink from a stranger, okay?
THEM: Why?
ME: Because it might be drugged.
THEM: Who is going to drug me?
ME: You never know, just don't accept a drink from a stranger!
THEM: I don't think someone would drug a fifty-year-old.
ME: Okay, but maybe don't take the risk?
ME: Make sure you watch the barman open your drink and don't leave it unattended on the bar.
THEM: *Sighs* Okayyyyy! *drags out the word like a teenager*
ME: When did I become the boss of you? *also sighs and drags out words like a teenager*
This a real conversation! Go ask your mum if she'd know how to date after being married for so many years and you might be surprised by their answer :)
I'm fifty-years-old and I honestly would hate to be in the dating scene now! Maybe you have some funny dating stories to share.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy my first foray into romantic comedy, it will be interesting to read your feedback since I don't actually think I'm a funny person, generally ;)
July 9, 2019
I would like to thank Tracie Podger for writing a hilarious novel that had me up since 1am yesterday morning reading the last three quarters of the book.
Lizzie's had a devastating start to single life. Her ex husband is gay and run off with a ex navy man named Sally. She's waiting for her divorce to come through and her best friend Joe is letting her stay in a flat (he calls it an apartment) for free. Along comes Ronan (Mr Suave and Sexy) which is own problems. He whisks her away to Scotland for what she thinks could be some fun, but things turn sour and what happens next is anyone's guess.
Sex, bohemian pensioners, pranks, love and laughter along the way with this hilariously funny anecdote of a book. Can't wait to see what else Tracie Podger comes up with next.
Lizzie's had a devastating start to single life. Her ex husband is gay and run off with a ex navy man named Sally. She's waiting for her divorce to come through and her best friend Joe is letting her stay in a flat (he calls it an apartment) for free. Along comes Ronan (Mr Suave and Sexy) which is own problems. He whisks her away to Scotland for what she thinks could be some fun, but things turn sour and what happens next is anyone's guess.
Sex, bohemian pensioners, pranks, love and laughter along the way with this hilariously funny anecdote of a book. Can't wait to see what else Tracie Podger comes up with next.
August 2, 2019
Hilarious
While this story is laugh out loud funny, it's also very true. Being single again and dating in this new technology is very confusing and challenging. The comedy of errors, the hilarious events are entertaining!
While this story is laugh out loud funny, it's also very true. Being single again and dating in this new technology is very confusing and challenging. The comedy of errors, the hilarious events are entertaining!
July 8, 2019
If you are looking for a book that will make you laugh, chuckle and darn right guffaw, then this is the book you need. Tracie Podger has written a really hilarious, slightly eccentric, story with a wonderful romantic storyline.
Lizzie is a woman in her prime, 50 and yes that really is your prime! However, she hasn't realised it yet, having just come out of a divorce, under slightly bizarre circumstances, to say the least. She is sad, lonely and unsure of what to do next. Then she meets Ronan: tall, dark, handsome, as well as complicated.
In fact, I loved all the characters in this story. Wacky and off the wall only partially covers their character traits. There is a psychiatrists field day of characters in this book, but I loved them all!
There is so much going on in this book: plot twists, barmy events, stuffed animals, crazy exes, nudists, disaster and near misses. It really does have it all.
It's well written and very hard to put down. I highly recommend you one-click this story, you will love it too, I guarantee it!
Lizzie is a woman in her prime, 50 and yes that really is your prime! However, she hasn't realised it yet, having just come out of a divorce, under slightly bizarre circumstances, to say the least. She is sad, lonely and unsure of what to do next. Then she meets Ronan: tall, dark, handsome, as well as complicated.
In fact, I loved all the characters in this story. Wacky and off the wall only partially covers their character traits. There is a psychiatrists field day of characters in this book, but I loved them all!
There is so much going on in this book: plot twists, barmy events, stuffed animals, crazy exes, nudists, disaster and near misses. It really does have it all.
It's well written and very hard to put down. I highly recommend you one-click this story, you will love it too, I guarantee it!
July 30, 2019
Ok so at first i was a little apprehensive about this book as its not something I normally read but wow im so glad i took a chance on it!!!!
What happens when your husband runs off with a drag queen called sally??? ,yep you read that right haha follow lizzie as she embarks on a newly single life at 50 it sure is an interesting ride haha
A brilliant, hilarious book that will have you laughing right from the start i highly recommend this book with a fabulous storyline and brilliant characters you'll find it hard to put down!!!
What happens when your husband runs off with a drag queen called sally??? ,yep you read that right haha follow lizzie as she embarks on a newly single life at 50 it sure is an interesting ride haha
A brilliant, hilarious book that will have you laughing right from the start i highly recommend this book with a fabulous storyline and brilliant characters you'll find it hard to put down!!!
July 26, 2019
Ok, I freaking loved this book! I think I loved it even more because lizzie reminded me of my mother. She's just as funny and forgiving. I loved all of the other characters too. I laughed a lot whilst reading this book and enjoyed every second of it. Definitely a must read.
July 22, 2019
This is the funniest book I have read, the first story with pat the cat had me crying with laughter. You get some rom coms that are funny to begin with (which is fine) but then the comedy stops and it becomes all about the romance. This book is not one of them it had me laughing all the way though. Although still carrying the romance to the story. I love this fact this was also a book about an older lady who was learning to live a different life to what the last 30 years had been.
I loved Lizzie and Ronan’s story, it showed everyone has baggage but it’s how it’s dealt that can change you life.
I loved Lizzie and Ronan’s story, it showed everyone has baggage but it’s how it’s dealt that can change you life.
July 26, 2019
Limp Dicks and Saggy Tits by Tracie Podger
#Review
#PreorderNow
#MatureHeroine
5* review from Emerald Book Reviews
⬇️⬇️⬇️
Okay, first of all, can we please take a minute and enjoy the brilliance of that damn book title? I love it because it takes the notion that that’s all there is after a certain age and this love story is here to tell you, that that is absolute bulls***.
Shamefully this is only the second book that I’ve read featuring protagonists over the age of fifty, the second one I beta read a few weeks ago and it isn’t even out yet. There are so few truly great love stories for women over a certain age, with most featuring heroines and heroes in their mid twenties to early thirties. However, Tracie Podger is set to rectify this terrible oversight by offering up one of the most comical, cringe-worthy (in the best possible way!), emotional and sweeping romances I’ve read in recent months. This book is hilarious, it’s sweet and fun but still has so many great messages layered throughout, regarding acceptance and grief, both in death and through the loss of a relationship. It is blatant in showing us that life goes on, you can be on your own if you need to be, you can learn to love yourself all over again and learn to trust and fall in love all over again, age is not a restriction.
‘“What are you wearing?” he said.
I started to cry. “It’s supposed to make me lose weight, but I drank wine, and then I got stuck and I dropped the scissors, and you’ve been so fucking horrible because you didn’t know that you were wanking and all I did was try cover you over when the photograph fell…”'
I’ve read Traice before and loved her work but those love stories were more weighty, full of angst and heartache and redemption. With LDAST Tracie has opted to experiment not only with an older heroine and hero but also by adding a healthy dose of pure Britsh rom-com. It’s outrageous at times, you will certainly cringe A LOT, you will also laugh and grin and get mad and swoon. Lizzie is so genuine and patient and kind, you can’t help but cheer her on to find her happy ever after. Ronan was a little bit of an enigma, just when I thought I had him figured out (my pessimistic side showing) his character would prove me wrong and show us that in the end patience, understanding and love can see you through the worst of times. In fact Ronan turned out to be one of my favourite Tracie Podger heroes.
What made this story even better - chapter twenty five.
‘“Who were you dreaming of when you were -”
“You,” he said, interrupting me.’
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#ComingSoon @Tracie Podger
Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits by Tracie Podger
Release Date: 1st August 2019
#PreOrder for only 99p/99c
#OneClick mybook.to/LDST
*Blurb*
What to do when your husband runs off and leaves you single—when being single is not your thing?
Lizzie has decided that single life does not suit her.
From castles in Scotland to barns in Kent, via apartments in London, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery as a single woman with all the humorous pitfalls along the way.
Naked artists, extreme earth lovers, taxidermy, and blow up dolls, are just some of the encounters Lizzie has to endure in her effort to get her life back on track.
With the dashing Scot, Ronan, by her side, will she ever be able to do that?
Or will his mountain of baggage just pile alongside hers creating an impenetrable wall between them?
Add to Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4...
To keep up with all updates for Tracie Podger, be sure to join her reader group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/16276...
#ComingSoon #TraciePodger #Comedy #Romance #RomCom #FollowLizzieOnHerJourneyOfSelfDiscovery
#Review
#PreorderNow
#MatureHeroine
5* review from Emerald Book Reviews
⬇️⬇️⬇️
Okay, first of all, can we please take a minute and enjoy the brilliance of that damn book title? I love it because it takes the notion that that’s all there is after a certain age and this love story is here to tell you, that that is absolute bulls***.
Shamefully this is only the second book that I’ve read featuring protagonists over the age of fifty, the second one I beta read a few weeks ago and it isn’t even out yet. There are so few truly great love stories for women over a certain age, with most featuring heroines and heroes in their mid twenties to early thirties. However, Tracie Podger is set to rectify this terrible oversight by offering up one of the most comical, cringe-worthy (in the best possible way!), emotional and sweeping romances I’ve read in recent months. This book is hilarious, it’s sweet and fun but still has so many great messages layered throughout, regarding acceptance and grief, both in death and through the loss of a relationship. It is blatant in showing us that life goes on, you can be on your own if you need to be, you can learn to love yourself all over again and learn to trust and fall in love all over again, age is not a restriction.
‘“What are you wearing?” he said.
I started to cry. “It’s supposed to make me lose weight, but I drank wine, and then I got stuck and I dropped the scissors, and you’ve been so fucking horrible because you didn’t know that you were wanking and all I did was try cover you over when the photograph fell…”'
I’ve read Traice before and loved her work but those love stories were more weighty, full of angst and heartache and redemption. With LDAST Tracie has opted to experiment not only with an older heroine and hero but also by adding a healthy dose of pure Britsh rom-com. It’s outrageous at times, you will certainly cringe A LOT, you will also laugh and grin and get mad and swoon. Lizzie is so genuine and patient and kind, you can’t help but cheer her on to find her happy ever after. Ronan was a little bit of an enigma, just when I thought I had him figured out (my pessimistic side showing) his character would prove me wrong and show us that in the end patience, understanding and love can see you through the worst of times. In fact Ronan turned out to be one of my favourite Tracie Podger heroes.
What made this story even better - chapter twenty five.
‘“Who were you dreaming of when you were -”
“You,” he said, interrupting me.’
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Limp Dicks & Saggy Tits by Tracie Podger
Release Date: 1st August 2019
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*Blurb*
What to do when your husband runs off and leaves you single—when being single is not your thing?
Lizzie has decided that single life does not suit her.
From castles in Scotland to barns in Kent, via apartments in London, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery as a single woman with all the humorous pitfalls along the way.
Naked artists, extreme earth lovers, taxidermy, and blow up dolls, are just some of the encounters Lizzie has to endure in her effort to get her life back on track.
With the dashing Scot, Ronan, by her side, will she ever be able to do that?
Or will his mountain of baggage just pile alongside hers creating an impenetrable wall between them?
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#ComingSoon #TraciePodger #Comedy #Romance #RomCom #FollowLizzieOnHerJourneyOfSelfDiscovery
November 18, 2020
Ok, let's just get this out of the way - the title is unfortunate. In fact, it's so unfortunate, that had a trusted friend not pushed me for a few weeks, I'd have never purchased this one. However, push she did, and boy was I pleasantly surprised!
Narration - flawless
Story - This reads to me like a rom com mashup with women's fiction. I've never before read such a realistic, older heroine (50 yo), and it was so refreshing! We can't all stay 20 years old or maintain perfect bladder control, but we all deserve heroines to relate to and this book delivers in that regard. Now our hero is flawed, and honestly at first he was on my bad list, but as time goes on and you learn more about him, he's deeply flawed, but at the same time a great fit for Lizzie. The progression of their relationship was so natural and realistic. It's not instant-love, it's instant attraction with a slow burn.
Lizzie gets herself in some hilarious situations, but overall this wasn't a laughing out loud book for me. It has those moments for sure, but overall it's about a woman and man learning to love again. I absolutely loved the side characters (Daniel and Joe), and the authors note at the end really made me appreciate the book even more. Take a chance on this one.
Narration - flawless
Story - This reads to me like a rom com mashup with women's fiction. I've never before read such a realistic, older heroine (50 yo), and it was so refreshing! We can't all stay 20 years old or maintain perfect bladder control, but we all deserve heroines to relate to and this book delivers in that regard. Now our hero is flawed, and honestly at first he was on my bad list, but as time goes on and you learn more about him, he's deeply flawed, but at the same time a great fit for Lizzie. The progression of their relationship was so natural and realistic. It's not instant-love, it's instant attraction with a slow burn.
Lizzie gets herself in some hilarious situations, but overall this wasn't a laughing out loud book for me. It has those moments for sure, but overall it's about a woman and man learning to love again. I absolutely loved the side characters (Daniel and Joe), and the authors note at the end really made me appreciate the book even more. Take a chance on this one.
September 18, 2019
If ever you needed a book to cheer you up, this is it....seriously it is absolutely bloody laugh aloud funny. The characters and the story were fantastic. I raced through this in 2 sittings and couldn't stop laughing, even when perhaps I shouldn't.
Although there is lots going on and it is a 'busy' book it is an absolute corker.
Well done Tracy, another smashing book.
Now to heal my stomach muscles, from belly laughing too much.
Although there is lots going on and it is a 'busy' book it is an absolute corker.
Well done Tracy, another smashing book.
Now to heal my stomach muscles, from belly laughing too much.
August 31, 2020
...Una storia questa ricca, anzi stracolma di ironia, l'autrice ci racconta la vita di una cinquantenne Lizzie, che si ritrova suo malgrado a dover ricominciare daccapo, dopo che il suo matrimonio si rileva fondato su tante bugie e omissioni.
L'autrice ha una penna coinvolgente, grazie all'ironia che trasmette attraverso Lizzie e agli altri personaggi, regala una lettura spensierata, ricca di risate ma che riesce anche a far riflettere e a porsi tante domande, prima tra tutte c'è un'età per innamorarsi e scoprire davvero cos'è l'amore? Beh Lizzie ci insegna che l'età la si sente soltanto nel fisico e forse un pò nella testa, perchè è certo che un pò di maturità la si debba pur avere ad un certo punto, che dite? Ma poi per quanto riguarda l'amore e il cuore l'età non conta più, diventa solo un fastidioso a volte numero che ti pone dei limiti mentali e che mette cuore e ragione in continuo conflitto...
Recensione completa sul blog
L'autrice ha una penna coinvolgente, grazie all'ironia che trasmette attraverso Lizzie e agli altri personaggi, regala una lettura spensierata, ricca di risate ma che riesce anche a far riflettere e a porsi tante domande, prima tra tutte c'è un'età per innamorarsi e scoprire davvero cos'è l'amore? Beh Lizzie ci insegna che l'età la si sente soltanto nel fisico e forse un pò nella testa, perchè è certo che un pò di maturità la si debba pur avere ad un certo punto, che dite? Ma poi per quanto riguarda l'amore e il cuore l'età non conta più, diventa solo un fastidioso a volte numero che ti pone dei limiti mentali e che mette cuore e ragione in continuo conflitto...
Recensione completa sul blog
August 1, 2019
Limp dicks and saggy tits by Tracie Podger.
What to do when your husband runs off and leaves you single—when being single is not your thing?
Lizzie has decided that single life does not suit her.
From castles in Scotland to barns in Kent, via apartments in London, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery as a single woman with all the humorous pitfalls along the way.
Naked artists, extreme earth lovers, taxidermy, and blow up dolls, are just some of the encounters Lizzie has to endure in her effort to get her life back on track.
With the dashing Scot, Ronan, by her side, will she ever be able to do that?
Or will his mountain of baggage just pile alongside hers creating an impenetrable wall between them?
A fantastic read. This was hilarious. Some of the things Lizzie did. Omg. Loved it. 5*. Thanks to Tracie and tbc for an arc.
What to do when your husband runs off and leaves you single—when being single is not your thing?
Lizzie has decided that single life does not suit her.
From castles in Scotland to barns in Kent, via apartments in London, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery as a single woman with all the humorous pitfalls along the way.
Naked artists, extreme earth lovers, taxidermy, and blow up dolls, are just some of the encounters Lizzie has to endure in her effort to get her life back on track.
With the dashing Scot, Ronan, by her side, will she ever be able to do that?
Or will his mountain of baggage just pile alongside hers creating an impenetrable wall between them?
A fantastic read. This was hilarious. Some of the things Lizzie did. Omg. Loved it. 5*. Thanks to Tracie and tbc for an arc.
November 3, 2019
I was in the mood for a humorous, light hearted book and with a title like that, how could I not read it!
There were moments of laugh out loud humour (Pat the Cat and where the title comes from are just two examples) but there was also an emotional heart warming story about two people with a lot of baggage coming to terms with the world of dating at the age of 50. I'm fast approaching that age and can totally sympathize with the fears, nerves and worries this would entail. I loved Lizzie, she was a kind, forgiving but no nonsense soul. Ronan blew hot and cold at times, but when you know his history you can hardly blame him. There were a host of fabulous characters, Lizzie's best friend was a riot!! Everyone needs a Joe.
I loved how Tracie kept it real. Fifty year olds don't have the perfect, pert, flexible bodies and she wasnt afraid to mention the embarrassing bodily functions we all suffer from. They're also far from past it on the sexy times 😉
Overall this book absolutely hit the mark and made me smile. Job done, thankyou Tracie Podger.
There were moments of laugh out loud humour (Pat the Cat and where the title comes from are just two examples) but there was also an emotional heart warming story about two people with a lot of baggage coming to terms with the world of dating at the age of 50. I'm fast approaching that age and can totally sympathize with the fears, nerves and worries this would entail. I loved Lizzie, she was a kind, forgiving but no nonsense soul. Ronan blew hot and cold at times, but when you know his history you can hardly blame him. There were a host of fabulous characters, Lizzie's best friend was a riot!! Everyone needs a Joe.
I loved how Tracie kept it real. Fifty year olds don't have the perfect, pert, flexible bodies and she wasnt afraid to mention the embarrassing bodily functions we all suffer from. They're also far from past it on the sexy times 😉
Overall this book absolutely hit the mark and made me smile. Job done, thankyou Tracie Podger.
April 16, 2020
AUDIOBOOK REVIEW
OMG I love this audiobook. It’s funny and the story is touching and romantic and any book that causes Alexa to bleep out the name makes me laugh. I have listened to Tracies erotic fiction previously so this is a change from that but I loved this story it felt so real about woman of a certain age and the lovely changes to our bodies we get from that let alone having to find love and having sex again in your later years it just made me laugh and cry and I couldn’t keep a straight face every time there was a mention of Hoohah (no idea on spelling) lol
OMG I love this audiobook. It’s funny and the story is touching and romantic and any book that causes Alexa to bleep out the name makes me laugh. I have listened to Tracies erotic fiction previously so this is a change from that but I loved this story it felt so real about woman of a certain age and the lovely changes to our bodies we get from that let alone having to find love and having sex again in your later years it just made me laugh and cry and I couldn’t keep a straight face every time there was a mention of Hoohah (no idea on spelling) lol
August 1, 2019
I think this author has a fabulous writing style, and enjoyed this book, although not as much as her others. I didn’t find it laugh out loud as others have, but it did raise a smile, due to her brilliant descriptive tone. Enjoyed it and would recommend it. (I found the funniest part was one of the characters reading another of her brilliant books!)
May 10, 2020
Audiobook review
Funny as! I needed a pick up and I certainly got it.
Life changes before you know it & stuff like this keeps it ticking over nicely.
Thank you for the laughs & silliness.
Narrator was great.
Funny as! I needed a pick up and I certainly got it.
Life changes before you know it & stuff like this keeps it ticking over nicely.
Thank you for the laughs & silliness.
Narrator was great.
August 3, 2019
I've only read one book by this author previously which was a completely different genre so I wasn't sure what to expect from this, as I realise this is out of her comfort zone too!
I wasn't disappointed! We join the main character Lizzie - a 50 year old, newly divorced single woman. With her best friend Joe giving her relationship advice, and the handsome Scot Ronan by her side for a lot of the ride, Podger takes us on a poignant journey of self discovery from London to Scotland to Kent.
It was a consistent laugh out loud read with Lizzie getting herself in some rather sticky situations - more than once I almost spat my coffee or lunch out! I honestly didn't want to put it down because I was dying to find out what sort of situation she got herself into next. I especially loved reading about her time in Scotland because that's my heart home.
Definitely recommended as an easy going light hearted read!
I wasn't disappointed! We join the main character Lizzie - a 50 year old, newly divorced single woman. With her best friend Joe giving her relationship advice, and the handsome Scot Ronan by her side for a lot of the ride, Podger takes us on a poignant journey of self discovery from London to Scotland to Kent.
It was a consistent laugh out loud read with Lizzie getting herself in some rather sticky situations - more than once I almost spat my coffee or lunch out! I honestly didn't want to put it down because I was dying to find out what sort of situation she got herself into next. I especially loved reading about her time in Scotland because that's my heart home.
Definitely recommended as an easy going light hearted read!
August 1, 2019
This is a brilliant funny story about a 50 year old woman who is just divorced, Lizzie will have you in fits at some of the things she does and says, this is a most read and deserves more than 5*, thank you Tracie for the laughs xx
July 29, 2019
Hilarious! Who knew that being single at fifty would be so complicated/funny/weird. Such a well written book that had me laughing out loud at some bits and cringing at others (especially those that are SO true!)
September 2, 2019
If the title was any indication, this book was going to be an outrageous read! I’m happy to say that Tracie Podger did not disappoint. Limp Dicks and Saggy Tits is the story of a 50-year-old, newly divorced woman who is trying her best to survive re-entry into the dating world...amongst other things. Use lubricant as you suffer from vaginal atrophy? Ouch!
The storyline is really entertaining; the characters are amazing; plot twists and turns keep the story moving albeit slowly in some places; and thankfully we finally got to the HEA...and it was worth the circuitous route to get there. This one is definitely a keeper! (I voluntarily reviewed an advance reader copy of this book and really liked it.) ❤️❤️
The storyline is really entertaining; the characters are amazing; plot twists and turns keep the story moving albeit slowly in some places; and thankfully we finally got to the HEA...and it was worth the circuitous route to get there. This one is definitely a keeper! (I voluntarily reviewed an advance reader copy of this book and really liked it.) ❤️❤️
September 4, 2019
Limp Dick & Saggy Tits by Tracie Podger... a superbly funny RomCom.
The humour in this book is second to none. The characters both main and secondary, plot and humour have been an absolute pleasure to read. At times my guffaws could be heard far and wide!
This is my first read by Ms Podger, a book I stumbled across but most definitely not my last, if this book is anything to go by. I feel I’m in for a real treat! A extra well deserved 5 stars.
The humour in this book is second to none. The characters both main and secondary, plot and humour have been an absolute pleasure to read. At times my guffaws could be heard far and wide!
This is my first read by Ms Podger, a book I stumbled across but most definitely not my last, if this book is anything to go by. I feel I’m in for a real treat! A extra well deserved 5 stars.
July 18, 2019
What a book, there was everything you need for a fun read in this one story!
I enjoyed the humorous style of writing and the detailed descriptions of beautiful scenery. Having been to Scotland I was transported back to places I remember so vividly.
A great feel good, laugh out loud book and I did smile when I came across the mention of The Facilitator knowing it to be another of Tracie Podger’s books!
I enjoyed the humorous style of writing and the detailed descriptions of beautiful scenery. Having been to Scotland I was transported back to places I remember so vividly.
A great feel good, laugh out loud book and I did smile when I came across the mention of The Facilitator knowing it to be another of Tracie Podger’s books!
September 3, 2019
There’s life after the big 50!
Divorced and basically starting anew after fifty can be iffy, as Lizzie is finding out. Everything is different than it was when she was single before, especially dating. When she met Ronan I was hopeful for her, and their experiences with his home in the country were hysterical! A laugh out loud read with a few tearful moments. A great book for those of us that still have young hearts!
I voluntarily reviewed an Advanced Reader Copy of this book.
Divorced and basically starting anew after fifty can be iffy, as Lizzie is finding out. Everything is different than it was when she was single before, especially dating. When she met Ronan I was hopeful for her, and their experiences with his home in the country were hysterical! A laugh out loud read with a few tearful moments. A great book for those of us that still have young hearts!
I voluntarily reviewed an Advanced Reader Copy of this book.
July 9, 2019
Let me first start by saying I am not a big fan of rom com but I did enjoy reading this book that definitely picked up more in the second half. I love Tracie's books especially her thrillers and darker genre so this was a big change for me to read this.
There were two things that I really did love about this book, one; the age of the characters. Not many authors write about 50 plus divorced women or men for that matter, and I also related to some of what was happening to Lizzie as I was divorced at around that age too. Two; the humour was so funny in places and the odd time I had tears running down my cheeks through some of the situations that arose in this story that were so hilarious to say the least.
I related with all the characters and their quirks if not slightly over the top at times this is what fiction is for, to let our imagination run wild and I think Tracie hit the nail on the head with this story.
Ultimately this is a story of self discovery after divorce. It was sweet, funny and very easy going. At times I found it a little slow for my liking and a little too easy going but that is just my opinion.
It had many endearing qualities and Tracie never fails to get the point across, no matter what genre she writes.
There were two things that I really did love about this book, one; the age of the characters. Not many authors write about 50 plus divorced women or men for that matter, and I also related to some of what was happening to Lizzie as I was divorced at around that age too. Two; the humour was so funny in places and the odd time I had tears running down my cheeks through some of the situations that arose in this story that were so hilarious to say the least.
I related with all the characters and their quirks if not slightly over the top at times this is what fiction is for, to let our imagination run wild and I think Tracie hit the nail on the head with this story.
Ultimately this is a story of self discovery after divorce. It was sweet, funny and very easy going. At times I found it a little slow for my liking and a little too easy going but that is just my opinion.
It had many endearing qualities and Tracie never fails to get the point across, no matter what genre she writes.
August 5, 2019
I loved this story, it's down to earth and honest warts and all. Thankfully even though I'm in the age bracket I don't have the weak bladder but do have the bingo wings lol. This is funny but also a bit sad in places, I really felt for Lizzie at times, all she wanted was honesty and straight talking instead she got half truths, pranks in poor taste and uncertainty. She was extremely forgiving of it all, possibly more than I would have been. Often she felt vulnerable and hurt but picked herself up and got on with things. The title was actually a slightly different meaning to that I expected, unfortunately larger booked women do mostly tend to sag a lot sooner than those smaller boobed. This is a fabulous story very easy to relate to and to read, I found I smiled a lot at times and certain scenes I could picture quite clearly in my head. I would have quite happily liked a few more chapters it was so good.
August 3, 2019
A very entertaining read. This book turned out to be a little bit different from what I was expecting. From the blurb, I was expecting the fifty year old protagonist to try to navigate the modern world of dating, trying to establish the rules in a world of online dating sites, speed dating, even tinder. I expected a range of disastrous dates and unsuitable men, with each experience helping to clarify pitfalls to avoid and provide hilarious anecdotes. In fact, the story focuses around just one potential partner and the evolution of the relationship between them. Despite not being exactly what I expected, the story worked very well with both the comedic and romantic elements being very strongly written. It is a deeper and more profound book than I had anticipated, with well-written and three-dimensional characters that you do quickly begin to care about, whose stories and emotional baggage are portrayed thoughtfully and soberly with some emotional content and not everything played for laughs. A witty, engaging romantic comedy.
September 2, 2019
Loved this book. It is a witty insight into a recently divorced 50 year old and the challenges she faces with a new love and a pre-menopausal body. I thought Lizzie was a strong, realistic heroine. I enjoyed the storyline and there were laugh out loud moments.
August 30, 2019
Lizzie marriage has ended and is trying to get back out there. Her best friend Joe lets her to stay in one of his properties. He helps her by encouraging her to get out there and enjoy life.
She meets Ronan who has some baggage of his own.
This story was fun to read. It was a great read, with great characters and few twists you never seen coming.
She meets Ronan who has some baggage of his own.
This story was fun to read. It was a great read, with great characters and few twists you never seen coming.
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