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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There

3.94  ·  Rating details ·  4,950 ratings  ·  747 reviews
Brutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a young vice president at Comedy Central who was called “ahead of her time” by Jordan Peele.

By the time she was in her late twenties, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom.
Hardcover, 318 pages
Published February 18th 2020 by Dial Press
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Average rating 3.94  · 
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 ·  4,950 ratings  ·  747 reviews

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Start your review of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
Theresa Alan
Oct 25, 2019 rated it liked it
This is essentially a self-help book by way of memoir. There’s a lot of good stuff in here. It’s always helpful to have a reminder to stop the negative thoughts about yourself—like that you’re a failure because you don’t have a boyfriend/the job you want/you aren’t working out or eating well enough and so on. For some of us, giving ourselves pep talks is not our natural state, but Tara reminds us: If your friend were in a similar situation, would you talk to her that way?

It’s also good to remem
Olive Fellows (abookolive)
A book for the sparsely parented among us, this book aims to help readers "re-parent" themselves. It covers matters such as lessening negative self-talk, seizing opportunities, avoiding leaning on substances, best handling relationships, introducing an exercise program into your life - a wide variety of subjects, at least one of which is destined to speak to a problem that the reader faces.

I really enjoyed the first half of this. The author gives some great recommendations of methods to get your
Dec 14, 2019 rated it did not like it
I received an ARC of this book, and it's a train wreck. The author's kind of a train wreck too. I can only guess that the editor who okayed this has the flu and has some kind of impaired judgement or something. It's got such a narrow target audience, and it's just rather a waste of paper. It reads like someone decided to print out their social media blatherings.

To quote the movie Easy A: Mr. Griffith: "I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought... but
Apr 19, 2020 rated it it was ok
I really was excited about this book, as it was recommended to me. However, it wasn’t the fierce memoir I expected, but rather a self-help book for someone in their twenties. I’m not the intended demographic. I also didn’t agree with about half of her advice. While acknowledging her privilege, she did not keep any of that in mind when offering the advice, just presuming her audience would have the same privilege as she. Sigh, not for me. 2.5 stars
Christopher  Burke
Mar 14, 2020 rated it it was ok
Like many, I was drawn to this book by the incredibly sassy title.

But the title is *also* emblematic of what ultimately repelled me as a reader. I really wanted to love this — and there were moments of clarity AND hilarity.

However, Tara ultimately winds up promoting an inherently self-centred world. In that world, the “individual” seems required to “win” against any wider social and cultural imperative.

So much so that any personal “improvements” really are — at the end of the day — self inter
Apr 02, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: memoir, nonfiction, 2020, arc
You are worth seven-dollar lilies. You are worth the thing that instantly makes your life better. I've heard people talk about their favourite exercise class this way. I've heard people talk about an order of guacamole with their tacos this way. I've heard people talk about the ten-dollar, ten-minute massage at the nail salon this way. That small, pleasurable thing that makes you feel like you are treating yourself – do not deprive yourself of this. Buy the f*cking lilies, take the class, order
The Girls Read
Feb 10, 2020 rated it it was ok
Shelves: anna
As a memoir, I think I would have better enjoyed this one. But as a pseudo self help-type book, it really missed the mark.

Growing up in a rocky household with parents who later divorced, becoming a self-proclaimed "party girl," and then working through her issues and later landing a pretty high up job with Comedy Central is the gist of the author's life. Her self-help tips aren't anything new or revolutionary, and a lot of her experiences (especially interactions with friends that led to her "g
Valerity (Val)
The author, Tara Schuster, after years of therapy, spent a good amount of time working on trying to reparent herself, trying different methods. In this book, she shares different methods she suggests, along with her sense of humor throughout. I found it to be a kind of self help book with lots of ideas of things to try for changing the negative voice in your head, and just getting more positive about your life.

If that’s something you are looking for, it’s a decent read, better than many dry tome
Nenia ✨️ I yeet my books back and forth ✨️ Campbell
Very interested in reading this because I actually have depression and I often have a lot of trouble feeling like I "deserve" to buy myself something nice. I find myself constantly having to rationalize any sort of purchase, be it lunch after a hard day of work or even a $1.99 ebook that is on sale. It seems like the message of this book is about working through your depression to find ways to appreciate yourself, and I hope it is, because that's something I wish I had learned earlier too. ...more
Mar 05, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This was a delight through and through. Part self help and part memoir, I consider this to be a self improvement book for “old millennials”. She breaks things down into three sections- The Mind, The Body, and The Relationships, and she holds nothing back. It’s authentic without being preachy, and while I listened to it, I’m also so glad to have a hard copy so I can underline. It’s about self-love, showing up, and being present in the life you’re in, and I’m so glad to have gotten a copy. I’ve al ...more
Feb 21, 2020 rated it really liked it
I did not know much about Tara Schuster as a TV Executive but certainly know her work very well being involved in The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Key & Peele. Her work with those shows helped their rise to popularity and its success. I loved to read about the personal life of very successful people and how they learned to manage the balance of their personal and professional life. The book was a great read and learned a lot from it and was able to take the advice to apply to my own personal ...more
Elizabeth Jorgensen
Jun 18, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Am I her? Is she me? She made me remember my twenties, to remind myself why I'm never going back. ...more
Sarah Booth
May 30, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Honest look at self care

Tara wrote a very honest and insightful book about coming from difficult beginnings and realizing that she didn’t have the knowledge or skills she needed in life so she set out to teach them to herself and learn how to be a functioning successful adult and develop the skill sets she needed. With humor and a great deal of herself laid bare, Tara shows the reader where she was in her life when she realized it wasn’t working for her. Instead of remaining on a self destructi
Renee (itsbooktalk)
Mar 03, 2020 rated it really liked it
4.5 stars review to come, this was fantastic on audio!
Aug 05, 2020 rated it liked it
This is probably more useful to millenials or younger or those just figuring out their lives. There are some good tips in there, but it's basically a catalogue of "self-care" tips. Perhaps this is unfair because this is a problem with basically this whole genre of recent self-help, but I'd like to read more books about Buying someone else the F**** lilies. I think too much internal focus is crazy-making--or at least it is for me. ...more
Mar 08, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: own-it, favorites
A dizzingly delightful concoction, this memoir is meant to lead by failure & success both. I reveled in Schuster’s (aka T$) encouragements. She is ready in every chapter to admit how she ended up there, inexcusably hungover and covered in some of her vomit, and equally ready to say “hey I know I was a mess, but I want to help you like my friends helped me, so have you tried ___??” What I admire about this book over other self-help bestsellers I won’t name is that Schuster is not ignoring the val ...more
Mar 29, 2020 rated it did not like it
Shelves: dnr
Lol... a white, abled, highly educated person who could afford the benefit of therapy in her twenties wants to let us know that if *she* “can be HAPPY... then you most def can.” GTFO. I can most definitely DNF this sack of shit and roll my eyes at those that blurbed it knowing that the “author” could not even be bothered to “write” complete words. Pretty sure this was completed using voice notes and autocorrect.
Apr 16, 2020 rated it really liked it
*Thanks to the publisher for the free review copy*

“Don’t cheap out on yourself”

Woo hoo! I finished a book! And it was enjoyable, practical, and relatable! It essentially comes down to being kind to yourself, indulging in small luxuries, and living your best life. It’s part memoir and part self help. The short chapters were very organized and it was perfect just to read one or two each night.

I was skeptical at first because as a busy mom, sometimes self care can be super hard and some of the sugg
laurel [the suspected bibliophile]
3.5 stars

Some stuff was really helpful, and a lot of it involving facing responsibility for your own actions, getting into your head and working through things in order to let it go, with tools like journaling, self-care, exercises and routines to help create a schedule and sense of normalcy.

Other things were a little woo-woo and out there for me, and I was a little weirded out by how she talked about her exes so much, and named them (I am assuming with pseudonyms) and detailed each way they suc
Donna Hines
Oct 09, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: netgalley, arc
You know I just had to pick this up because I've been a fan of the 'plant your own garden' idea.
So when I seen the title about lilies having them for my wedding bouquet (stargazer's) I knew this was the one because that marriage ended upon the rocks much like it began.
So I'm familiar with the depressed state but not as much with the weed or drinking binges but can relate to the lack of parental support.
What I took away from this was quite numerous as it was engaging and peaceful in a sense to kn
Gerardine  Betancourt
Sep 29, 2020 rated it really liked it
Tara Schuster gives us her life story written as a self-help book. I don't tend to read self-help books but I'm happy I requested this.
The book touches on mental health issues, toxic relationships with friends and partners, and rituals that can help you be a better person in your life.
The book made me feel that I had a friend by my side who understood the things that I have been through.
Some of the things I took out of this book:
*Take whatever weird little opportunity you have and maximize the
Patty Smith
Many thanks to NetGalley, Random House, and Tara Schuster for an ARC in exchange for an honest book review of Buy Yourself The F*cking Lilies. My thoughts and opinions are 100% my own and independent of receiving an advance copy.

Tara Schuster finds herself hungover after her twenty-fifth birthday with a message from her therapist whom she had drunk dialed the night before. The therapist phoned her many times worried after the message Tara had left, that Tara was going to hurt herself. Truth is T
The self help book for people who hate or can’t relate to other self help books!

Tara Schuster is a very accomplished TV exec. She’s the kind of woman you look and think “Damn, I bet she has it all figured out.” Spoiler alert: She doesn’t! Or at least she didn’t. Underneath all the Instagram-worthy success she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. This book, part self-help, part memoir, part chat over drinks with your bestie, is the story of how she got her sh*t together, the book she
Audra (ouija.reads)
Jun 14, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
How could I not be intrigued by a book that curses at me with its title and is covered in beautiful flowers??

I loved so many things about this book. It is separated into three sections: The Mind Rituals, The Body Rituals, and The Relationship Rituals. The first section specifically really spoke to me. I am in my late twenties, and although our lives have been incredibly different, there was so much that I could relate to about Schuster's experience in trying to find herself. She doesn't hold ba
May 12, 2020 rated it really liked it
i enjoyed a lot of things about this book, and as someone in her mid-20s trying to get her shit together some things hit super hard. so that's fun. obviously since it's a self-help book slash memoir, you can't really expect to be able to relate to every problem or situation that's discussed but despite that i found myself enjoying the story of it all anyway. maybe what's said in this book isn't groundbreaking (i wouldn't know since i don't have a lot of experience in the self-help area) but i th ...more
Oct 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
First of all- GREAT COVER! I really like in her intro she says "In all things, I let truth, vulnerability, and kindness guide me." That was a great start for me. Schuster is definitely hilarious and I think everyone can identify with at least one part of her hilarious story. I definitely found myself saying "yep I've done that" or "that was me" and "me too". I will be recommending this to everyone I know. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review this book. ...more
Jan 13, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: first-reads
This was an okay self-help memoir aimed at those of us that didn't have storybook lives or have other baggage in our lives.

I congratulate her on working on her own life and sharing her ideas with others along with very personal stories. The book has several ideas to try to get your mindset to change and stop being so negative to yourself.

I won an ARC from the First Reads program on Goodreads.
Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There by Tara Schuster is a memoir of Schuster's journey to self-love told through a series of essays detailing the steps she took to reparent herself after experiencing childhood trauma. It begins with Schuster drunk-dialing her therapist and takes the reader through her journey to learning to care for herself in the ways in which her parents did not.

I enjoyed this book and am very happy for Schuster t
Jan 09, 2021 rated it liked it
Each section does have advice that I see myself using, but overall the last section lost me.
Tina Rae
Feb 20, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: EVERYONE.
Recommended to Tina Rae by: Tzipora
Okay. So. I LOVED this book. This isn't necessarily the type of book I would normally pick up. I don't usually go for self help type books. But I'm always a sucker from a good memoir and this one is AMAZING. It's part memoir, part self help book and totally amazing.

This book is written with such a strong and powerful voice that you feel like you're having a conversation with a close friend. And not only that, a loving and caring friend who wants what is best for you and who truly wants to help y
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Staying Bothered ...: January 2021 | Buy Yourself The F**king Lilies 2 5 Jan 08, 2021 06:06AM  

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Oh, hi! Thanks for stopping by. I'm excited to be here and thrilled to meet ya!

I wrote my book with the singular goal of making other people feel less lonely. As a kid, the books of David Sedaris made me feel like I was not alone in having a "different" family and my prayer-hope-please-oh-please-wish is that my book gives you some comfort. Or at least a few laughs. I'll take either tbh.

Tara Schus

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