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Assassins' Guild of Obseen: Vision of a Torn Land
The Year was 1921 Star Date (S.D.)
People left the dirty, war-torn Earth in search of a new life on a handful of newly discovered planets past Neptune. Eight were found: New Earth, Planet X, the Sentinals (1,2, and 3), O’washia, Al Tor, and Obseen… A new government called the Unified Earth Forces took control of New Earth; its government declared its control over other planets. O’washia and the Sentinals were eventually able to attain their freedom from the UEF; Planet X, abandoned by the New Earth government was given over to the control of kings and queens, so that the Royals could keep an eye on Obseen, the planet turned into a prison-planet for the unruly assassins cloistered by the UEF; Al Tor became the other prison planet; a place for those considered terrorists and “crazies”.
The Current Year(s): 4012 S.D. (Obseen)
Welcome to Obseen: the planet of assassins. The obsidian planet has once again been thrust into war. A Royal-assassin has taken over the planet, and a large percentage of the assassin clans do not want him as their leader. The Royal, now calling himself “Emperor Manscor”, has sent his Royal guards and Honoreds to conquer the opposing forces; he has even gone so far as to massacre hundreds of assassins to prove his control of them.
By the year 4023 S.D., many assassin clans have quietly joined the Renegade Army in hopes of ending Manscor’s reign. One such clan, called the Las'wa or Lakeans, has refused to become completely involved in the war, but they have given their support: twelve assassin youths have been trained in secret and are to be sent to the surface to stop Manscor; they may be the last chance to end the chaos of Obseen's Assassins' Guild and restore it to its glory.
People left the dirty, war-torn Earth in search of a new life on a handful of newly discovered planets past Neptune. Eight were found: New Earth, Planet X, the Sentinals (1,2, and 3), O’washia, Al Tor, and Obseen… A new government called the Unified Earth Forces took control of New Earth; its government declared its control over other planets. O’washia and the Sentinals were eventually able to attain their freedom from the UEF; Planet X, abandoned by the New Earth government was given over to the control of kings and queens, so that the Royals could keep an eye on Obseen, the planet turned into a prison-planet for the unruly assassins cloistered by the UEF; Al Tor became the other prison planet; a place for those considered terrorists and “crazies”.
The Current Year(s): 4012 S.D. (Obseen)
Welcome to Obseen: the planet of assassins. The obsidian planet has once again been thrust into war. A Royal-assassin has taken over the planet, and a large percentage of the assassin clans do not want him as their leader. The Royal, now calling himself “Emperor Manscor”, has sent his Royal guards and Honoreds to conquer the opposing forces; he has even gone so far as to massacre hundreds of assassins to prove his control of them.
By the year 4023 S.D., many assassin clans have quietly joined the Renegade Army in hopes of ending Manscor’s reign. One such clan, called the Las'wa or Lakeans, has refused to become completely involved in the war, but they have given their support: twelve assassin youths have been trained in secret and are to be sent to the surface to stop Manscor; they may be the last chance to end the chaos of Obseen's Assassins' Guild and restore it to its glory.
433 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 19, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
September 16, 2019
There were 5 planetary wars on Obseen. They were coined the Bloody Wars.
The 1st War 802 yrs. ago was because the assassins were confined to a prison on Obseen.
Then consistent power struggles or turf-wars happened with control of the small, secluded planets.
The 2nd War (Blind) 811 yrs. ago was because the lower class revolted against the higher class.
The stone-blindness plague ran rampant.
Then the Dark Revolution lasted 5 yrs.
1857 S.D. Was the last war.
Star Date 1868 S.D.: Devon Parc (1/2-French) formed Angelholm (colony L3X008435-Thessalía)
Star Date 1894 S.D., A search had begun for new planets.
1921, Star Date S.D. The PPL had abandoned Earth. It was devasted & unlivable.
New Space station colonies had been created.
In 3990, Expecting more War’s the Assassin's Guild & the council at Taysor was established.
The Power Struggle War did follow. For 21 yrs. things remained calm & there was growth.
After King Chiang Xi” s death in 4011 SD, Prince Chang Xi (son) began his rein.
A new government had been formed called the Unified Earth Forces. They controlled the New Earth.
4012 S.D. Obseen planet (14 territories) was made to house the assassins.
Emperor Manscor (Royal assassin) & the Royal Guards & Honored’s were going to rule. He was not liked.
The Royals War was in full swing.
Star Date 4023 S.D., Many assassin clans had joined the Renegade Army in hopes of ending Emperor Manscor’s reign.
Tá sharay introduced his sons: Page Torez, Lap Torez, & Zanishiria Torez.
Tá sharay & sons were giving Prince Doz & Princess Novastone a tour of Cathedral of the Winds & Cathedral of Light.
Master Roko said Emperor Manscor has sent orders to assassinate King Paul Lapsair.
What secret does Master Quinn know?
What information did Master Quinn want from Tarin?
Cadet Jenny Ankins, Cadet Pete Marshel & Cadet Cain Duquet were busy studying the Royal Guards’ handbook.
General Jim Kett was in charge of the Cadet’s.
Seircor C’vail & Kraiy (Seircor’s sister) were attacked by some creeshts spiders.
Sr. Master Zanishiria Indigo Novastone (14, f, Lakean) was taken care of Seircor’s injured leg & Achilles’ tendon.
Taysor Palace. Davin (Teera’s pawn) informed Master Teera Sabina (f, 20, Honored Suez assassin) they had captured a male/female.
I did not receive any type of compensation for reading & reviewing this book. While I receive free books from publishers & authors, I am under no obligation to write a positive review. Only an honest one.
A very awesome book cover, great font & writing style. A fairly well written sci-fi book. It wasn’t very easy for me to read/follow from start/finish, but never a dull moment. There were no grammar/typo errors, a lot of repetitive things, & no out of line sequence sentences. Lots of exciting scenarios, with several twists/turns & a huge set of unique characters to keep track of. This could also make another great sci-fi movie, an animated cartoon, or better yet a mini TV series. You’re not gonna win the elite Hugo sci-fi award. I would have left the F word out. Almost geared for MS age. It was just OK for me but I will still give you 3/5 stars.
Thank you for the free author; Goodreads; MakingConnections; Making Connections discussion group talk; Amazon Digital Services LLC.; book
Tony Parsons MSW (Washburn)
The 1st War 802 yrs. ago was because the assassins were confined to a prison on Obseen.
Then consistent power struggles or turf-wars happened with control of the small, secluded planets.
The 2nd War (Blind) 811 yrs. ago was because the lower class revolted against the higher class.
The stone-blindness plague ran rampant.
Then the Dark Revolution lasted 5 yrs.
1857 S.D. Was the last war.
Star Date 1868 S.D.: Devon Parc (1/2-French) formed Angelholm (colony L3X008435-Thessalía)
Star Date 1894 S.D., A search had begun for new planets.
1921, Star Date S.D. The PPL had abandoned Earth. It was devasted & unlivable.
New Space station colonies had been created.
In 3990, Expecting more War’s the Assassin's Guild & the council at Taysor was established.
The Power Struggle War did follow. For 21 yrs. things remained calm & there was growth.
After King Chiang Xi” s death in 4011 SD, Prince Chang Xi (son) began his rein.
A new government had been formed called the Unified Earth Forces. They controlled the New Earth.
4012 S.D. Obseen planet (14 territories) was made to house the assassins.
Emperor Manscor (Royal assassin) & the Royal Guards & Honored’s were going to rule. He was not liked.
The Royals War was in full swing.
Star Date 4023 S.D., Many assassin clans had joined the Renegade Army in hopes of ending Emperor Manscor’s reign.
Tá sharay introduced his sons: Page Torez, Lap Torez, & Zanishiria Torez.
Tá sharay & sons were giving Prince Doz & Princess Novastone a tour of Cathedral of the Winds & Cathedral of Light.
Master Roko said Emperor Manscor has sent orders to assassinate King Paul Lapsair.
What secret does Master Quinn know?
What information did Master Quinn want from Tarin?
Cadet Jenny Ankins, Cadet Pete Marshel & Cadet Cain Duquet were busy studying the Royal Guards’ handbook.
General Jim Kett was in charge of the Cadet’s.
Seircor C’vail & Kraiy (Seircor’s sister) were attacked by some creeshts spiders.
Sr. Master Zanishiria Indigo Novastone (14, f, Lakean) was taken care of Seircor’s injured leg & Achilles’ tendon.
Taysor Palace. Davin (Teera’s pawn) informed Master Teera Sabina (f, 20, Honored Suez assassin) they had captured a male/female.
I did not receive any type of compensation for reading & reviewing this book. While I receive free books from publishers & authors, I am under no obligation to write a positive review. Only an honest one.
A very awesome book cover, great font & writing style. A fairly well written sci-fi book. It wasn’t very easy for me to read/follow from start/finish, but never a dull moment. There were no grammar/typo errors, a lot of repetitive things, & no out of line sequence sentences. Lots of exciting scenarios, with several twists/turns & a huge set of unique characters to keep track of. This could also make another great sci-fi movie, an animated cartoon, or better yet a mini TV series. You’re not gonna win the elite Hugo sci-fi award. I would have left the F word out. Almost geared for MS age. It was just OK for me but I will still give you 3/5 stars.
Thank you for the free author; Goodreads; MakingConnections; Making Connections discussion group talk; Amazon Digital Services LLC.; book
Tony Parsons MSW (Washburn)
November 27, 2020
Unfortunately, this book just does not deliver and was a significant disappointment. To be honest, the struggle to even finish this book was staggering - I foolishly hoped it would get better but alas, it only got worse.
Pros:
1) The premise is excellent, a "fantasy" type story set in a Sci-Fi world with a young female kick-ass protagonist with unparalleled combat training.
2) The author has spent a long time thinking through and creating a detailed world to set the story in.
However, it just doesn't work.
Cons:
1) The book is absolutely riddled with spelling, syntax and grammatical errors – Is this a first draft? Did ANYONE proof read this?.
2) The book is just way too long – easily 1/3 to 1/2 could be cut without compromising the story integrity.
3) Nearly all of the dialogue between characters is annoyingly endless inane trite dribble. Warriors, Masters & Leaders do not speak (nor act) this way.
4) There is way too many weird names for things (people, places, weapons, races, foods, drinks, you name it). This doesn't add value as it is way; way too much and the confusion detracts from the reading enjoyment.
5) There is far too much dialogue in made up languages that then is followed by a translation - this slows the pace of the story and is immensely annoying.
6) There is lots of combat sequences which should be cool but they are so totally unrealistic it is truly annoying (blade fights that last hours - really???). Also, "the bad" guys fight intelligently and have access to laser weapons but all the good guys are using blades (think Samurai/Ninja) and usually are more concerned with fighting to preserve their honour then actually survive???
7) Too many of the characters, particularly the main protagonists, are just plain idiotic in their decision making and actions. One scene they act intelligently, then the next few plot points they do incredibly stupid life endangering things. Just not believable.
8) The good guys are all “Assassins” yet none of them are prepared to kill anyone. Does the author know what the word means? If she is so hell-bent on honourable good guys, while did she call them “assassins” and base them on Ninja’s?
9) The main protagonist (the afore mentioned young female kick-ass character) gets into a "to the death" duel with the ruler of the planet and again, fights stupidly (despite the bad guy fighting dirty) even though her life and the balance of the planet rest on her winning. Instead of killing the head bad guy, she repeatedly only superficially wounds him over a period of many hours whilst the planet is at war and all her side are dying waiting for the guy to be killed. How stupid can you be???
10) Most annoying plot point? The worst bad guys to survive are all set free but the lead character? She saves the planet but is then punished due to the accidental breaking of stupid “clan” trite rules so was ordered to do?????
Yeah, this book leaves the reader feeling angry and cheated…….could have been a great story…………….
Pros:
1) The premise is excellent, a "fantasy" type story set in a Sci-Fi world with a young female kick-ass protagonist with unparalleled combat training.
2) The author has spent a long time thinking through and creating a detailed world to set the story in.
However, it just doesn't work.
Cons:
1) The book is absolutely riddled with spelling, syntax and grammatical errors – Is this a first draft? Did ANYONE proof read this?.
2) The book is just way too long – easily 1/3 to 1/2 could be cut without compromising the story integrity.
3) Nearly all of the dialogue between characters is annoyingly endless inane trite dribble. Warriors, Masters & Leaders do not speak (nor act) this way.
4) There is way too many weird names for things (people, places, weapons, races, foods, drinks, you name it). This doesn't add value as it is way; way too much and the confusion detracts from the reading enjoyment.
5) There is far too much dialogue in made up languages that then is followed by a translation - this slows the pace of the story and is immensely annoying.
6) There is lots of combat sequences which should be cool but they are so totally unrealistic it is truly annoying (blade fights that last hours - really???). Also, "the bad" guys fight intelligently and have access to laser weapons but all the good guys are using blades (think Samurai/Ninja) and usually are more concerned with fighting to preserve their honour then actually survive???
7) Too many of the characters, particularly the main protagonists, are just plain idiotic in their decision making and actions. One scene they act intelligently, then the next few plot points they do incredibly stupid life endangering things. Just not believable.
8) The good guys are all “Assassins” yet none of them are prepared to kill anyone. Does the author know what the word means? If she is so hell-bent on honourable good guys, while did she call them “assassins” and base them on Ninja’s?
9) The main protagonist (the afore mentioned young female kick-ass character) gets into a "to the death" duel with the ruler of the planet and again, fights stupidly (despite the bad guy fighting dirty) even though her life and the balance of the planet rest on her winning. Instead of killing the head bad guy, she repeatedly only superficially wounds him over a period of many hours whilst the planet is at war and all her side are dying waiting for the guy to be killed. How stupid can you be???
10) Most annoying plot point? The worst bad guys to survive are all set free but the lead character? She saves the planet but is then punished due to the accidental breaking of stupid “clan” trite rules so was ordered to do?????
Yeah, this book leaves the reader feeling angry and cheated…….could have been a great story…………….
March 5, 2020
Intense is how I felt about this story. Was a interesting group of characters that have many secrets and one is destined to kill the reigning despot of Ruler to free the world of his tyranny if they can. Lots of solid action, intriguing situations with heroic bravery and enchanting scenery locations plus some substantial fight battle scenes.
May 31, 2020
Let me tell you why this book either deserves 5 Stars or 1 Star.
First, 2 disclaimers:
One, I obtained a free copy of this book in a giveaway. Two, I did not finish this book. So it is really lame that I’m writing a review. I know that. I plan to return to the book sometime in the future, but at this time I cannot go on.
Now, on to the actual book. It has an interesting backstory and the author has done a lot of thinking into building a very full world and history. For this, I applaud the author. On this alone, I would give the author 5 stars, but sadly I don’t think the author delivers.... or at least she hasn’t delivered on it yet (to the point that I have read).
The only way I can describe why I can’t give the book more than 3 stars can be summed up in the word “forced.” It never really felt natural. Now I know what you’re saying- “it shouldn’t feel natural because there is a race of space assassins that live on a planet of obsidian and speak an alien dialect.” But the dialogue, personalities, info dumps, the foreign language,... it all felt forced.
An example that comes to mind is how some of the characters would speak in the native tongue, but the author would then translate everything afterward in brackets. Either leave it in the other language and have the audience fill in the blanks with context clues, or use the cop-out, “and Jack shouted in his foreign tongue, ‘who stole my nachos?!’” But maybe that’s just how I like to read books- when I have to use my head and figure things out. Not everyone is like that. I can definitely see that the author is talented by being able to create another language. I just wish I wasn’t spoon-fed.
But here is the real kicker- the book was riddled with typos. A fellow reviewer said that there were no typos. Well, my Kindle copy had WAYYYYY too many. I stopped counting. I should not have to be distracted by unprofessional work. Who edited it? Did anyone proofread it? 1 Star. It’s unacceptable in a finished work. I doubt I'll return to the book, but I'm sure many will find that it has a cool concept. I just need a break.
First, 2 disclaimers:
One, I obtained a free copy of this book in a giveaway. Two, I did not finish this book. So it is really lame that I’m writing a review. I know that. I plan to return to the book sometime in the future, but at this time I cannot go on.
Now, on to the actual book. It has an interesting backstory and the author has done a lot of thinking into building a very full world and history. For this, I applaud the author. On this alone, I would give the author 5 stars, but sadly I don’t think the author delivers.... or at least she hasn’t delivered on it yet (to the point that I have read).
The only way I can describe why I can’t give the book more than 3 stars can be summed up in the word “forced.” It never really felt natural. Now I know what you’re saying- “it shouldn’t feel natural because there is a race of space assassins that live on a planet of obsidian and speak an alien dialect.” But the dialogue, personalities, info dumps, the foreign language,... it all felt forced.
An example that comes to mind is how some of the characters would speak in the native tongue, but the author would then translate everything afterward in brackets. Either leave it in the other language and have the audience fill in the blanks with context clues, or use the cop-out, “and Jack shouted in his foreign tongue, ‘who stole my nachos?!’” But maybe that’s just how I like to read books- when I have to use my head and figure things out. Not everyone is like that. I can definitely see that the author is talented by being able to create another language. I just wish I wasn’t spoon-fed.
But here is the real kicker- the book was riddled with typos. A fellow reviewer said that there were no typos. Well, my Kindle copy had WAYYYYY too many. I stopped counting. I should not have to be distracted by unprofessional work. Who edited it? Did anyone proofread it? 1 Star. It’s unacceptable in a finished work. I doubt I'll return to the book, but I'm sure many will find that it has a cool concept. I just need a break.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews