What do you think?
Rate this book
被討厭的勇氣 二部曲完結篇: 人生幸福的行動指南
■《被討厭的勇氣》正宗續集 + 完結篇，再度讓人生為之一變！
■中文版獨家，兩位作者特別撰寫〈致臺灣讀者序〉！
■深度探討《被討厭的勇氣》中的許多概念，讓阿德勒的思想更具實踐性！
■若說《被討厭的勇氣》是了解阿德勒思想的「地圖」，本書就是帶領你實踐阿德勒思想、踏上幸福之路的「指南針」！
■《被討厭的勇氣》日韓均熱銷破百萬冊，臺灣連續143週高踞排行榜，熱銷60萬冊以上；雙書全亞洲熱銷破350萬冊，紀錄持續更新中！
■王浩威（作家、精神科醫師）、陳志恆（輔導教師、《此人進廠維修中！》作者）、蘇絢慧（諮商心理師、作家）勇氣再推薦！
實踐阿德勒心理學，讓人生再度為之一變！
◆人人都誤解了阿德勒。
◆所謂的自立，就是「擺脫以自我為中心」。
◆愛，是一門技術，也是一種決定。
◆平凡無奇的日子，就是考驗。
勇敢去愛吧！
去愛的勇氣，就是讓自己變得幸福的勇氣！
唯有藉著去愛他人，才能擺脫以自我為中心；
唯有透過去愛他人，才能促成自立；
也因著去愛人，才終於能得到幸福。
《被討厭的勇氣》是為了讓讀者認識阿德勒心理學、
233 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2016
3610 people are currently reading
13110 people want to read
About the author
Ichiro Kishimi
78 books987 followersIchiro KISHIMI Philosopher, Adlerian psychologist and translator of English and German languages. Born in 1956.
M.A.in philosophy from Kyoto University. Director of the Japanese Society of Adlerian psychology. Former counselor at Maeda Clinic in Kyoto and has taught philosophy and ancient Greek at various institutions such as Kyoto University of Education and Nara Women's University.
He presently teaches educational psychology and clinical psychology at Meiji School of Oriental Medicine in Suita, Osaka. Kishimi now has his own private counseling office in Kameoka, Kyoto, and devotes his time to giving lectures on Adlerian Psychology and child education.
M.A.in philosophy from Kyoto University. Director of the Japanese Society of Adlerian psychology. Former counselor at Maeda Clinic in Kyoto and has taught philosophy and ancient Greek at various institutions such as Kyoto University of Education and Nara Women's University.
He presently teaches educational psychology and clinical psychology at Meiji School of Oriental Medicine in Suita, Osaka. Kishimi now has his own private counseling office in Kameoka, Kyoto, and devotes his time to giving lectures on Adlerian Psychology and child education.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 833 reviews
January 27, 2021
"No matter how powerful you are, there are two things that cannot be forced... Respect and love."
The Courage To Be Happy was exactly what I expected as a sister book to The Courage To Be Disliked. I enjoyed jumping back into the witty banter between the "Youth" and "Philosopher" (although, at times, I wanted to smack the youth with a newspaper like an angry mother whose son is being rude). A decent amount of the book circulated around youth's education and how best to raise the next generation under Adlerian Psychology guidelines; to have more community feeling and genuine self-reliance. That said, much of the book also led back to how to adapt the same approaches into one's own life.
The book repositions the idea from book one that nearly all of our problems are interpersonal problems. Community feeling and love are the missing ingredients to solve these problems. It talks about learning not to seek praise from others, be your own person, let yourself be happy by choosing love, who the right person to "love" is, and the concept that by giving respect to others first, you not only pave the way for others to return it to you but help to change the greater fabric of society into seeing each other as comrades rather than competition.
That we are to choose our own life, right here in the now, and stop using pieces of our past as barriers to stop ourselves from this responsibility.
A final thought from the book that I felt to be super relevant to today's times was the following:
"For us, it is our "nothing days" that are our trial, and it is in everyday life "here and now" that the big decisions must be made. Before arguing over the state of the world, have some thoughts for your neighbour. Have some thoughts for your interpersonal relationships on "nothing days." That is all we can do."
The Courage To Be Happy was exactly what I expected as a sister book to The Courage To Be Disliked. I enjoyed jumping back into the witty banter between the "Youth" and "Philosopher" (although, at times, I wanted to smack the youth with a newspaper like an angry mother whose son is being rude). A decent amount of the book circulated around youth's education and how best to raise the next generation under Adlerian Psychology guidelines; to have more community feeling and genuine self-reliance. That said, much of the book also led back to how to adapt the same approaches into one's own life.
The book repositions the idea from book one that nearly all of our problems are interpersonal problems. Community feeling and love are the missing ingredients to solve these problems. It talks about learning not to seek praise from others, be your own person, let yourself be happy by choosing love, who the right person to "love" is, and the concept that by giving respect to others first, you not only pave the way for others to return it to you but help to change the greater fabric of society into seeing each other as comrades rather than competition.
That we are to choose our own life, right here in the now, and stop using pieces of our past as barriers to stop ourselves from this responsibility.
A final thought from the book that I felt to be super relevant to today's times was the following:
"For us, it is our "nothing days" that are our trial, and it is in everyday life "here and now" that the big decisions must be made. Before arguing over the state of the world, have some thoughts for your neighbour. Have some thoughts for your interpersonal relationships on "nothing days." That is all we can do."
July 18, 2016
This is the sequel to the author's previous book on Adler, "The Courage to Be Disliked." The previous one is centered on the core principles of Adler's life lessons, namely, 1) Be independent, 2) Live in harmony with others, 3) Believe in your own worth, and 4) Regard people as friends. This time, the focus is more on lesson #4. In other words, this lesson can be paraphrased in one term: social interest. In Adler's term, "social interest" is the translation of German term, "Gemeinschafts-Gefuhl", which can be translated more directly as "community feeling". The author presumes that Adler translated it into "social interest" so as to emphasize the aspect of "putting one's interest in another person's perspective".
We can respect others by employing this social interest, in other words, putting ourselves in others' shoes, in the most truthful sense. In this way, we can acknowledge the worth of that person, as he/she is. This is the starting point of living in harmony with others. In friendship and love, the more difficult tasks of Adler's, following the same logic, we must first give, instead of expecting to receive. Tasks must be separated. Thus, when we give, we should not expect anything in return. Returning or not, that is the task of the other person.
In this book, the author quotes many lines from "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm, which fascinated me when I was in the college. As Fromm puts, it we must learn to love, not to be loved. Since this is the core lesson from this book, I believe I can call this book an explanation of "The Art of Loving" as well as of Adler's books.
The only drawback of this book (and of the previous one) is the structure of the book. Since it is written in the form of dialogue, it does not construct well onto your mind. Of course the dialogue form has a great advantage of easy reading. However, the book leaves you less organized with regard to the lessons learned. Perhaps it is Adler who is not so well organized. But still, the author could have done better in organizing Adler's unorganized ideas.
We can respect others by employing this social interest, in other words, putting ourselves in others' shoes, in the most truthful sense. In this way, we can acknowledge the worth of that person, as he/she is. This is the starting point of living in harmony with others. In friendship and love, the more difficult tasks of Adler's, following the same logic, we must first give, instead of expecting to receive. Tasks must be separated. Thus, when we give, we should not expect anything in return. Returning or not, that is the task of the other person.
In this book, the author quotes many lines from "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm, which fascinated me when I was in the college. As Fromm puts, it we must learn to love, not to be loved. Since this is the core lesson from this book, I believe I can call this book an explanation of "The Art of Loving" as well as of Adler's books.
The only drawback of this book (and of the previous one) is the structure of the book. Since it is written in the form of dialogue, it does not construct well onto your mind. Of course the dialogue form has a great advantage of easy reading. However, the book leaves you less organized with regard to the lessons learned. Perhaps it is Adler who is not so well organized. But still, the author could have done better in organizing Adler's unorganized ideas.
February 26, 2019
Là phần tiếp theo và phát triển lên từ cuốn “Dám bị ghét”, nửa đầu cuốn sách nêu những luận điểm về giáo dục, từ đó bàn rộng hơn tới sự kết nối giữa người với người ở nửa sau. Theo tác giả, tư tưởng Adler cho rằng con người chỉ thực sự trưởng thành khi dám chủ động yêu thương một ai đó.
Mình thích cuốn này hơn nhưng cũng tin là nội dung của nó khó được chấp nhận hơn. Chúng ta giống như chàng thanh niên trong trang sách, khó lòng có thể nắm bắt và thực hành hạnh phúc theo như những lời của vị Triết gia.
Nếu “Dám bị ghét” như một chỉ dẫn rõ ràng và dễ thực hành - chỉ cần có can đảm - thì “Dám hạnh phúc” là chỉ dẫn đòi hỏi rất nhiều can đảm: dám bỏ đi cái tôi, chủ động yêu thương và tin tưởng mà không mong đợi kết quả.
Những lời này có thể làm bạn tặc lưỡi “chà! Thế thì cũng nhiều người nói rồi chứ đâu có gì mới!” nhưng khi đi vào những phân tích trong cuộc đối thoại, bạn sẽ hiểu sâu hơn về tâm lý con người nói chung và có thể nhìn lại chính bản thân mình.
Điều khó nhất trong tình yêu là làm sao để duy trì nó từ cả hai phía. Giả như một người hiểu và thực hành theo tư tưởng Adler mà người còn lại chưa hiểu và hành động được như vậy thì cũng không có gì đảm bảo được hạnh phúc... ơ! Nhưng nếu lập luận quẩn quanh như thế thì lại chưa hiểu và chưa “Dám hạnh phúc” thì phải. Vì thế triết gia mới nói “nếu chỉ biết đến Adler, đồng ý với quan điểm của ông, chấp nhận quan điểm của ông thôi thì cuộc đời sẽ không thay đổi”. Bởi vì mỗi ngày bình thường đều là thử thách. Thử thách là can đảm bước tiếp, can đảm yêu và tin tưởng qua từng ngày bình thường ấy.
Mình thích cuốn này hơn bởi vì nó đặt cho mình nhiều câu hỏi hơn, làm mình phải băn khoăn hơn. Cảm giác gấp cuốn sách này lại cũng giống như vừa bước ra từ căn phòng của vị triết gia trong cuốn sách và phải quay về thực tại. Chính mình cũng bối rối về những trang cuối cùng và tự hỏi bản thân có thể can đảm được như vậy hay không. Nhưng mình vẫn thích tác phẩm này, vì những gì khiến mình trăn trở sẽ làm mình nhớ lâu hơn và khôn ngoan hơn.
Theo lý thuyết về phân công nhiệm vụ của Adler thì mình chỉ thực hiện việc review sơ lược kèm đôi dòng cảm xúc về tác phẩm, còn đọc nó hay không và đọc xong có thích nó hay không lại là phần của bạn 😷 Nếu bạn có đọc nó rồi băn khoăn trăn trở thì ta có thể cùng thảo luận, bởi vì vị Triết gia có nói ông sẽ không gặp lại chúng ta nữa và hi vọng tư tưởng của Adler sẽ được hậu thế phát triển thêm.
Nghe thì to tát, nhưng tựu chung lại thì triết học Adler là triết học về những điều bình thường, về cách để chúng ta chấp nhận sự bình thường của chính mình, yêu thương chính mình và trân trọng từng ngày được sống.
Mía
July 20, 2019
I found this quite painful. The conversational writing style was a put off. The ‘Youth’ reminded me of every annoying argumentative person I’ve ever met who just likes to disagree for the sake of disagreeing. This character turned quite simple, sometimes inspiring ideas into silly retorts that only made the character seem unintelligent. This to and fro conversation took away from the lessons. It was hard to read because I kept finding myself rolling my eyes. Disappointing
February 18, 2020
In this world, no matter how powerful one is, there are two things that can't be forced.
[...] Respect and love.
It's been a long time since I've thought about Adler, and honestly, the only thing I really remembered prior to this reading were his thoughts on siblings, family birth order, and it's effect on individuals.
I've probably internalized so much of what's presented in this book that there are no "new" ideas, but it was a helpful reminder, especially in the screaming chaos of 2020. The format of a dialogue may be off-putting to some readers, I've always liked it so that wasn't an issue. I guess it's probably just best if I provide some quotes.
Oversimplified, one can't control what happens to oneself, only how one reacts to it.
[...] Respect and love.
It's been a long time since I've thought about Adler, and honestly, the only thing I really remembered prior to this reading were his thoughts on siblings, family birth order, and it's effect on individuals.
"You are not living to satisfy other people's expectations." And further, "Other people are not living to satisfy your expectations."--I think these two quotes are my favorites
Without respect, no good interpersonal relationships can come about, and without good relations, one's words will not reach anyone.
I've probably internalized so much of what's presented in this book that there are no "new" ideas, but it was a helpful reminder, especially in the screaming chaos of 2020. The format of a dialogue may be off-putting to some readers, I've always liked it so that wasn't an issue. I guess it's probably just best if I provide some quotes.
[Y]our individuality is not something relative--it is absolute.
Because the question is not whether something happened in the past, but what meaning "myself now" gives to that past. [...] Look, in our world, "the past" in the real sense of the word does not exist. It is just painted in an endless array of colors of "now", each with its own interpretations.
[T]here is one thing we can do: devote our ceaseless efforts, in all our meetings and all our interpersonal relationships, toward the "best possible parting." That is all.
Oversimplified, one can't control what happens to oneself, only how one reacts to it.
January 20, 2020
As a sequel to 'The Courage to be Disliked', which I had also highly rated, I would recommend that one not be read without the other. This book reiterates the ideas discussed in the first book, but extends on a more practical approach, giving examples using every day situations in a way that is more relatable to the reader. I myself found it extremely interesting as I too am embarking on a journey to become an educator.
His explanations of how deeply embedded our Community Feelings are as a fundamental human quality rather than as a product of fearing ones loneliness blew me away, how he challenges competition and expands on the idea of working, friend and loving relationships just ties in together at the end with happiness concluded such a beautiful read! I had put down this book with a very warm feeling in my heart, you may call that a courage to be happy, but also a belief in that it is not just an ideal but one that is achievable through ones thinking, feeling and action.
There has been a profound shift in my life which i was never able to articulate into words, and i have connected with a few people who are going through a similar experience... the explanation of transitioning to self-centredness to self-reliance through a means of loving in terms of 'us'... is absolutely spot on! Very grateful for this book
His explanations of how deeply embedded our Community Feelings are as a fundamental human quality rather than as a product of fearing ones loneliness blew me away, how he challenges competition and expands on the idea of working, friend and loving relationships just ties in together at the end with happiness concluded such a beautiful read! I had put down this book with a very warm feeling in my heart, you may call that a courage to be happy, but also a belief in that it is not just an ideal but one that is achievable through ones thinking, feeling and action.
There has been a profound shift in my life which i was never able to articulate into words, and i have connected with a few people who are going through a similar experience... the explanation of transitioning to self-centredness to self-reliance through a means of loving in terms of 'us'... is absolutely spot on! Very grateful for this book
February 25, 2021
Ok so the word happy is actually mentioned 3 times followed by happieness 4 times. This book let me tell you has absoultly nothing got to do with happieness. In fact I dont quite know what exactly is the point behind this book. Is about educatoon, children or love? Because it does an awful job on all these topics. The student I find quite rude, repetitive and annoying and the master just ramblrs about Adler this and Adler that. Please do yourself a favour and skip.
March 11, 2020
This is the sequel release to the popular 'The Courage To Be Disliked' which I read last year.. and didn't like so much. I was generally hoping for a stronger guide filled with self-help tips on how to stay focused and motivated. The General layout however was the same as the previous book and at times felt a little preachy. You may like this if you are into strong psychology.
May 26, 2020
Notes:
+ 3 basic forms of counseling content
- That bad person
- Poor me
- What should I do from now on?
+ 5 stages of problem behavior
- Demand for admiration
- Attention drawing
- Power struggles
- Revenge
- Proof of incompetence
“Demand for admiration, attention drawing, and power struggles are all expressions of the love-starved feeling that says, ‘I want you to have greater regard for me.’ The thing is, the moment that a person realizes that their longing for love will not be fulfilled, they do an about-face and begin to look for ‘hate.’”
Potent Quotables:
What we need is “seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.”
None of us live in an objective world, but instead in a subjective world that we ourselves have given meaning to. The issue that we must focus on is not “how the world is,” but “how we are” and “how we see the world.” And also, we cannot escape our own subjectivity.
Regardless of what may have occurred in the past, nothing is determined by it… Human beings are not driven by past “causes” but live according to present “goals...” We are not creatures who are determined by past events. Rather, we determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those events… No matter what has occurred in your life until now, it has no bearing at all on how you live your life from now on… You, living “here and now,” are the one who decides your own life.
Every person is a compiler of a story of “me,” who rewrites his or her own past as desired to prove the legitimacy of “me now.”
The past does not decide now. It is your now that decides the past.
The past does not exist. The past you speak of is nothing more than a story skillfully compiled by “you now.”
Teach that one’s own life and one’s everyday actions are things that one determines oneself. And if deciding things requires certain ingredients—knowledge and experience, for example—then provide them.
Responsibility, in the true sense of the word, is something that only that person can make themselves take.
One can choose one’s own life.
The final objective of education is self-reliance, and one must not stand in the way of that path.
A person does not live to fulfill someone else’s expectations.
The human being is probably the only living thing with a body that takes longer to grow than the mind. While with other creatures, mind and body develop at the same speed, only in humans does development of the mind happen first while that of the body lags behind.
The person who is capable of feeling truly happy only upon being praised will seek to get praised more until the very last moment of their life. Such a person, having been left in a position of dependence, will lead a life of ceaseless seeking, a life without fulfillment.
Having another person decide the worth of “me”—that is dependence. Determining the worth of “me” oneself—that is self-reliance. If one were to ask which choice leads to a happy life, the answer should be clear. Your worth is not decided by someone else.
All joy is interpersonal relationship joy.
How can one gain a true sense of belonging? One has confidence in other people, and one embarks on friend relationships.
Before arguing over the state of the world, have some thought for your neighbor. Have some thought for your interpersonal relationships on “nothing days.” That is all we can do.
We have to keep our hearts abundant and give what we have saved up to others. We must not wait for respect from other people, but must ourselves have respect and confidence in them. … We must not become poor-spirited.
Rather than the self-interested seeking of “my happiness” or the other-interested wishing for “your happiness,” love is the building of a happiness of an inseparable “us.”
July 21, 2025
This book starts out slow, and for a long time it’s a discussion of how teachers can most helpfully relate to kids. I started to wonder when it was going to get to the secret of happiness, but on the way it gave one of the most insightful explanations I’ve ever seen concerning “bad behavior” among kids, and the five stages by which it unfolds. Eventually it all leads quite naturally to exploring how life’s great transition happens, from being a needy seeker for love, to being a source of it. The dialogue format ensures that the whole argument faces and survives rigorous, very irreverent critique at every stage.
February 23, 2025
A disgruntled with life person comes back to renew his arguments with a philosopher after three years of trying to live his life based off of their previous conversations.
The first book brought it. This one, not so much. I did like that it went deeper on certain aspects of the topic, but something about how it was done got to be a bit monotonous at the back end of the read. It also didn’t quite match the simplicity of the conversation style done previously. That style slapped the reader with a few powerful words while this one repetitively tapped.
TWO QUOTES THAT CAUGHT MY EYE:
“In other words, we are not creatures who are determined by past events. Rather, we determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those events.”
“Though it may be putting it harshly, it could be said that one is getting drunk on the cheap wine of tragedy and trying to forget the bitterness of an unfortunate ‘now’.”
A QUOTE THAT MADE ME THINK OF THE MOVIE MYSTERY MEN:
“The past does not decide now. Is your now that decides the past.”
THREE CHOICES TO KEEP IN MIND MOVING FORWARD:
“That bad person.”
“Poor me.”
“What should I do from now on.”
Three stars to a book that was not as awesome as the firstborn.
The first book brought it. This one, not so much. I did like that it went deeper on certain aspects of the topic, but something about how it was done got to be a bit monotonous at the back end of the read. It also didn’t quite match the simplicity of the conversation style done previously. That style slapped the reader with a few powerful words while this one repetitively tapped.
TWO QUOTES THAT CAUGHT MY EYE:
“In other words, we are not creatures who are determined by past events. Rather, we determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those events.”
“Though it may be putting it harshly, it could be said that one is getting drunk on the cheap wine of tragedy and trying to forget the bitterness of an unfortunate ‘now’.”
A QUOTE THAT MADE ME THINK OF THE MOVIE MYSTERY MEN:
“The past does not decide now. Is your now that decides the past.”
THREE CHOICES TO KEEP IN MIND MOVING FORWARD:
“That bad person.”
“Poor me.”
“What should I do from now on.”
Three stars to a book that was not as awesome as the firstborn.
April 12, 2021
• Judul : Berani Bahagia
• Penulis : Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga
• Penerjemah : Agnes Cynthia
• Penyunting : Ryan Pradana
• Penerbit : Gramedia Pustaka Utama
• Terbit : 12 Oktober 2020
• Harga : Rp 105.000,-
• Tebal : 200 halaman
• Ukuran : 14 × 21 cm
• Cover : Softcover
• ISBN : 9786020647708
Setelah berhasil memperkenalkan sosok dan teori psikologi Alfred Adler kepada para pembaca, khususnya di Asia, kini Ichiro Kishimi dan Fumitake Koga menghadirkan sekuel dari buku 𝘉𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘛𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘬 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘢𝘪, yaitu 𝘉𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘉𝘢𝘩𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘢. Di buku sebelumnya Kishimi dan Koga menitikberatkan pembahasan tentang teori psikologi Adler yang berpusar pada hubungan interpersonal. Bagaimana kita sebagai manusia cenderung lebih fokus terhadap pendapat dan penilaian orang lain sehingga memunculkan sebagian besar masalah yang kita alami. Dan di buku keduanya ini akan lebih banyak membahas soal bagaimana cara mengimplementasikan teori Adler ke dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Di sini Kishimi dan Koga merasa perlu membahas lebih jauh tentang teori psikologi Adler karena banyak di dalamnya yang cenderung dirasa kurang ilmiah, tapi lebih terasa filosofis. Namun, meskipun begitu teori psikologi Adler sendiri memang sudah terbukti dapat membantu kita sebagai manusia untuk menjalani kehidupan yang lebih bahagia dan bermakna. Secara lebih mendalam pembaca akan semakin memahami dan memaknai bagaimana seharusnya teori psikologi Adler dapat berfungsi dengan baik dalam kehidupan sehari-hari.
Format yang dipilih Kishimi dan Koga masih sama seperti di buku sebelumnya, yaitu dialog percakapan antara seorang pemuda dan filsuf. Di sini sang pemuda kembali muncul setelah tiga tahun berlalu. Kini pemuda tersebut telah menjadi seorang pendidik yang merasa sulit untuk mengimplementasikan teori psikologi Adler ke dalam dunia pendidikan. Dan sang filsuf berusaha dengan sabar dan tulus untuk kembali menjelaskannya pada sang pemuda. Buku ini sendiri dibagi menjadi lima bagian yang seiring menuju akhir akan membahas tuntas tentang teori psikologi Adler yang mencakup pertemanan, kemandirian, dan cinta. Kelima bagian buku itu adalah: (BAGIAN I) Orang Jahat Itu dan Malangnya Aku, (BAGIAN II) Mengapa Imbalan dan Hukuman Perlu Ditiadakan, (BAGIAN III) Dari Prinsip Kompetisi Menjadi Prinsip Kerja Sama, (BAGIAN IV) Berilah maka Akan Diberikan kepadamu, dan (BAGIAN V) Pilihlah Kehidupan yang Kaucintai. Semua bagian berhasil membentuk inti dari teori psikologi Adler menjadi proses yang mudah dimengerti.
Buku ini cukup banyak membahas teori psikologi Adler dalam dunia pendidikan. Bagaimana sang pemuda sebagai pendidik merasa kesulitan untuk mengendalikan murid-muridnya saat mencoba teori psikologi Adler. Di mana dalam teori psikologi Adler sistem hukuman dan pujian tidaklah dianjurkan. Dan setelah mencobanya sang pemuda justru menemukan jika hampir semua muridnya malah tidak memedulikannya. Menurut sang filsuf, pemuda tersebut belum memberikan rasa hormat kepada murid-muridnya. Sang filsuf menyarankan pemuda tersebut untuk menjalin hubungan pertemanan dengan murid-muridnya dengan berlandaskan kepercayaan. Di mana apa pun yang muridnya lakukan pemuda tersebut harus percaya kepada mereka sebagai bentuk rasa hormat. Alih-alih rasa hormat kebanyakan dari guru atau orangtua malah menunjukkan kendali yang otoriter. Murid atau anak bukan malah menunjukkan rasa hormat, tapi sebaliknya rasa jijik yang mereka rasakan. Sebaliknya dengan memberikan pujian pun malah akan memunculkan prinsip kompetisi yang pada akhirnya membuat murid-murid justru akan ketergantungan pada pujian, alih-alih percaya pada usaha mereka sendiri.
Dan di babak terakhir Kishimi dan Koga memberikan perspektif mengenai cinta dari sudut pandang gagasan Adler. Bagaimana sebagai manusia kita harus berani mencintai alih-alih dicintai. Mungkin banyak dari kita yang merasa mencintai lebih mudah dilakukan ketimbang dicintai. Nyatanya menurut teori psikologi Adler kemampuan kita untuk mencintai justru terasa lebih sukar dilakukan. Contoh kecil yang diberikan di buku ini misalnya saat kita menginginkan suatu barang, tapi belum bisa memilikinya kita cenderung memikirkannya, membayangkannya, hingga terbawa mimpi. Namun, di saat sudah mendapatkan barang tersebut kita malah cenderung cepat bosan dan melupakannya. Itu pula perasaan mencintai yang kita rasakan selama ini. Bukan cinta yang kita inginkan, melainkan rasa 'memiliki'. Di mana saat rasa memiliki itu telah tercapai kita langsung kehilangan hasrat untuk memikirkannya. Sedangkan definisi mencintai yang Adler kemukakan adalah berani mencintai yang tak akan pernah lekang hingga kapan pun. Dan teori tentang cinta yang Adler kemukakan ternyata tidak jauh berbeda dengan teori Eric Fromm.
Secara keseluruhan Berani Bahagia adalah sebuah sekuel yang semakin melengkapi penjelasan dan makna dari teori psikologi Adler. Di sini saya semakin memahami seperti apa sesungguhnya teori yang ingin Adler kemukakan. Saya sangat setuju jika kita biasanya seringkali melupakan rasa hormat pada sesama, khususnya orangtua pada anaknya. Saya suka dengan cara Kishimi dan Koga yang menyampaikan perihal ini dari gagasan Adler dengan cara yang ringan dan mudah ditangkap. Definis tentang cinta yang dibahas pun terasa menarik dan mengejutkan. Di mana kita sebagai manusia pada hakikatnya bisa mencintai siapa pun tanpa harus menunggu takdir. Caranya kita hanya harus berani mencintai dan melepas ego agar bisa berkomitmen untuk merasakan kebahagiaan. Meskipun format percakapan ini terkesan mudah dipahami, tapi bagi saya pribadi malah mudah lupa akan penjelasannya. Paham iya, tapi tidak lama langsung lupa akan apa yang dibaca. Jika boleh jujur saya lebih menikmati buku pertamanya ketimbang sekuelnya ini. Jika ingin membaca buku ini saya sarankan untuk membaca buku pertamanya terlebih dahulu agar pemahaman dari teori psikologi Adler bisa diserap dengan lebih kuat.
• Penulis : Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga
• Penerjemah : Agnes Cynthia
• Penyunting : Ryan Pradana
• Penerbit : Gramedia Pustaka Utama
• Terbit : 12 Oktober 2020
• Harga : Rp 105.000,-
• Tebal : 200 halaman
• Ukuran : 14 × 21 cm
• Cover : Softcover
• ISBN : 9786020647708
Setelah berhasil memperkenalkan sosok dan teori psikologi Alfred Adler kepada para pembaca, khususnya di Asia, kini Ichiro Kishimi dan Fumitake Koga menghadirkan sekuel dari buku 𝘉𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘛𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘬 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘢𝘪, yaitu 𝘉𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘉𝘢𝘩𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘢. Di buku sebelumnya Kishimi dan Koga menitikberatkan pembahasan tentang teori psikologi Adler yang berpusar pada hubungan interpersonal. Bagaimana kita sebagai manusia cenderung lebih fokus terhadap pendapat dan penilaian orang lain sehingga memunculkan sebagian besar masalah yang kita alami. Dan di buku keduanya ini akan lebih banyak membahas soal bagaimana cara mengimplementasikan teori Adler ke dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Di sini Kishimi dan Koga merasa perlu membahas lebih jauh tentang teori psikologi Adler karena banyak di dalamnya yang cenderung dirasa kurang ilmiah, tapi lebih terasa filosofis. Namun, meskipun begitu teori psikologi Adler sendiri memang sudah terbukti dapat membantu kita sebagai manusia untuk menjalani kehidupan yang lebih bahagia dan bermakna. Secara lebih mendalam pembaca akan semakin memahami dan memaknai bagaimana seharusnya teori psikologi Adler dapat berfungsi dengan baik dalam kehidupan sehari-hari.
Format yang dipilih Kishimi dan Koga masih sama seperti di buku sebelumnya, yaitu dialog percakapan antara seorang pemuda dan filsuf. Di sini sang pemuda kembali muncul setelah tiga tahun berlalu. Kini pemuda tersebut telah menjadi seorang pendidik yang merasa sulit untuk mengimplementasikan teori psikologi Adler ke dalam dunia pendidikan. Dan sang filsuf berusaha dengan sabar dan tulus untuk kembali menjelaskannya pada sang pemuda. Buku ini sendiri dibagi menjadi lima bagian yang seiring menuju akhir akan membahas tuntas tentang teori psikologi Adler yang mencakup pertemanan, kemandirian, dan cinta. Kelima bagian buku itu adalah: (BAGIAN I) Orang Jahat Itu dan Malangnya Aku, (BAGIAN II) Mengapa Imbalan dan Hukuman Perlu Ditiadakan, (BAGIAN III) Dari Prinsip Kompetisi Menjadi Prinsip Kerja Sama, (BAGIAN IV) Berilah maka Akan Diberikan kepadamu, dan (BAGIAN V) Pilihlah Kehidupan yang Kaucintai. Semua bagian berhasil membentuk inti dari teori psikologi Adler menjadi proses yang mudah dimengerti.
Buku ini cukup banyak membahas teori psikologi Adler dalam dunia pendidikan. Bagaimana sang pemuda sebagai pendidik merasa kesulitan untuk mengendalikan murid-muridnya saat mencoba teori psikologi Adler. Di mana dalam teori psikologi Adler sistem hukuman dan pujian tidaklah dianjurkan. Dan setelah mencobanya sang pemuda justru menemukan jika hampir semua muridnya malah tidak memedulikannya. Menurut sang filsuf, pemuda tersebut belum memberikan rasa hormat kepada murid-muridnya. Sang filsuf menyarankan pemuda tersebut untuk menjalin hubungan pertemanan dengan murid-muridnya dengan berlandaskan kepercayaan. Di mana apa pun yang muridnya lakukan pemuda tersebut harus percaya kepada mereka sebagai bentuk rasa hormat. Alih-alih rasa hormat kebanyakan dari guru atau orangtua malah menunjukkan kendali yang otoriter. Murid atau anak bukan malah menunjukkan rasa hormat, tapi sebaliknya rasa jijik yang mereka rasakan. Sebaliknya dengan memberikan pujian pun malah akan memunculkan prinsip kompetisi yang pada akhirnya membuat murid-murid justru akan ketergantungan pada pujian, alih-alih percaya pada usaha mereka sendiri.
Dan di babak terakhir Kishimi dan Koga memberikan perspektif mengenai cinta dari sudut pandang gagasan Adler. Bagaimana sebagai manusia kita harus berani mencintai alih-alih dicintai. Mungkin banyak dari kita yang merasa mencintai lebih mudah dilakukan ketimbang dicintai. Nyatanya menurut teori psikologi Adler kemampuan kita untuk mencintai justru terasa lebih sukar dilakukan. Contoh kecil yang diberikan di buku ini misalnya saat kita menginginkan suatu barang, tapi belum bisa memilikinya kita cenderung memikirkannya, membayangkannya, hingga terbawa mimpi. Namun, di saat sudah mendapatkan barang tersebut kita malah cenderung cepat bosan dan melupakannya. Itu pula perasaan mencintai yang kita rasakan selama ini. Bukan cinta yang kita inginkan, melainkan rasa 'memiliki'. Di mana saat rasa memiliki itu telah tercapai kita langsung kehilangan hasrat untuk memikirkannya. Sedangkan definisi mencintai yang Adler kemukakan adalah berani mencintai yang tak akan pernah lekang hingga kapan pun. Dan teori tentang cinta yang Adler kemukakan ternyata tidak jauh berbeda dengan teori Eric Fromm.
Secara keseluruhan Berani Bahagia adalah sebuah sekuel yang semakin melengkapi penjelasan dan makna dari teori psikologi Adler. Di sini saya semakin memahami seperti apa sesungguhnya teori yang ingin Adler kemukakan. Saya sangat setuju jika kita biasanya seringkali melupakan rasa hormat pada sesama, khususnya orangtua pada anaknya. Saya suka dengan cara Kishimi dan Koga yang menyampaikan perihal ini dari gagasan Adler dengan cara yang ringan dan mudah ditangkap. Definis tentang cinta yang dibahas pun terasa menarik dan mengejutkan. Di mana kita sebagai manusia pada hakikatnya bisa mencintai siapa pun tanpa harus menunggu takdir. Caranya kita hanya harus berani mencintai dan melepas ego agar bisa berkomitmen untuk merasakan kebahagiaan. Meskipun format percakapan ini terkesan mudah dipahami, tapi bagi saya pribadi malah mudah lupa akan penjelasannya. Paham iya, tapi tidak lama langsung lupa akan apa yang dibaca. Jika boleh jujur saya lebih menikmati buku pertamanya ketimbang sekuelnya ini. Jika ingin membaca buku ini saya sarankan untuk membaca buku pertamanya terlebih dahulu agar pemahaman dari teori psikologi Adler bisa diserap dengan lebih kuat.
June 11, 2023
While this book does build on certain Alderian concepts from its predecessor and introduce some new points, I didn't take as much from this book. In my opinion the first book was a lot better and aimed at a general audience, while this sequel seemed to be geared more specifically towards parents and/or teachers.
Key takeaways:
Adler splits the problem behaviour of people into levels to demonstrate how praising or reprimanding them promotes bad behaviour.
Demand for admiration
Striving to demonstrate their drive and obedience in order to gain praise and a privileged position within the community, this is how problem behaviour starts as they start to lose their drive when they don't receive enough praise.
Attention drawing
They don't think about praise anymore, rather they just want to stand out and regain a privileged position in the community.
Power struggles
This is "resistance", either through problem behaviour or disobedience - people should exit these as soon as they're detected as just by looking like you will get angry enters you into the struggle.
Revenge
Unable to win a victory or gain a privileged position, they begin to plot revenge.
Demand for admiration, attention drawing and power struggles. All these are expressions of the love-starved feeling that says, ‘I want you to have greater regard for me.’ The thing is, the moment that a person realises his longing for love will not be fulfilled, he does an U-turn and begins to look for hate.
Proof of incompetence
They start to despair on life, despising themselves and believing that they can’t solve anything. If they think, ‘Maybe I can do it’ when they undertake an assignment and then end up failing to complete it, they will wish they had decided ‘there’s no way I can do it’ at the outset and just given up. Because it would be easier that way, and there would be no worry of being further overcome with disappointment.
They are wishing 'Don’t expect anything of me’, ‘Don’t care about me’ and even ‘Abandon me’. With children, the more parents and teachers try to help them, the more they will demonstrate proof of incompetence in extreme ways. Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done here except to turn to a specialist, even for them, the path of providing assistance to children who have entered the proof of incompetence stage is a very difficult one.
• To be a good teacher and role model, teach by saying ‘that is something you can decide on your own.’ Teach that one’s own life and one’s everyday actions are things that one determines oneself. And if deciding things requires certain ingredients—knowledge and experience, for example—then provide them. If you have real respect for them, then you should be able to let them decide everything on their own.
• You cannot say for certain that paths that are chosen will always end in failure where as paths that people are directed to will not.
• Having another person decide the worth of ‘me’ is dependence. Determining the worth of ‘me’ oneself is self-reliance.
• The objective of education is ‘self-reliance’. And the educator is a ‘counsellor’.
• Convey to students / children that you are always ready to help them, and to watch over them at a distance from which you can help them and which is not too close. Should those decisions end in failure, they will learn from you the truth that ‘One can choose one’s own life.
My favourite quote:
The human being is probably the only living thing with a body that takes longer to grow than the mind. While with other creatures, mind and body develop at the same speed, only in humans does development of the mind happen first while that of the body lags behind. In a sense, we are creatures who live bound hand and foot. Because though our minds are free, our bodies are not.
Key takeaways:
Adler splits the problem behaviour of people into levels to demonstrate how praising or reprimanding them promotes bad behaviour.
Demand for admiration
Striving to demonstrate their drive and obedience in order to gain praise and a privileged position within the community, this is how problem behaviour starts as they start to lose their drive when they don't receive enough praise.
Attention drawing
They don't think about praise anymore, rather they just want to stand out and regain a privileged position in the community.
Power struggles
This is "resistance", either through problem behaviour or disobedience - people should exit these as soon as they're detected as just by looking like you will get angry enters you into the struggle.
Revenge
Unable to win a victory or gain a privileged position, they begin to plot revenge.
Demand for admiration, attention drawing and power struggles. All these are expressions of the love-starved feeling that says, ‘I want you to have greater regard for me.’ The thing is, the moment that a person realises his longing for love will not be fulfilled, he does an U-turn and begins to look for hate.
Proof of incompetence
They start to despair on life, despising themselves and believing that they can’t solve anything. If they think, ‘Maybe I can do it’ when they undertake an assignment and then end up failing to complete it, they will wish they had decided ‘there’s no way I can do it’ at the outset and just given up. Because it would be easier that way, and there would be no worry of being further overcome with disappointment.
They are wishing 'Don’t expect anything of me’, ‘Don’t care about me’ and even ‘Abandon me’. With children, the more parents and teachers try to help them, the more they will demonstrate proof of incompetence in extreme ways. Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done here except to turn to a specialist, even for them, the path of providing assistance to children who have entered the proof of incompetence stage is a very difficult one.
• To be a good teacher and role model, teach by saying ‘that is something you can decide on your own.’ Teach that one’s own life and one’s everyday actions are things that one determines oneself. And if deciding things requires certain ingredients—knowledge and experience, for example—then provide them. If you have real respect for them, then you should be able to let them decide everything on their own.
• You cannot say for certain that paths that are chosen will always end in failure where as paths that people are directed to will not.
• Having another person decide the worth of ‘me’ is dependence. Determining the worth of ‘me’ oneself is self-reliance.
• The objective of education is ‘self-reliance’. And the educator is a ‘counsellor’.
• Convey to students / children that you are always ready to help them, and to watch over them at a distance from which you can help them and which is not too close. Should those decisions end in failure, they will learn from you the truth that ‘One can choose one’s own life.
My favourite quote:
The human being is probably the only living thing with a body that takes longer to grow than the mind. While with other creatures, mind and body develop at the same speed, only in humans does development of the mind happen first while that of the body lags behind. In a sense, we are creatures who live bound hand and foot. Because though our minds are free, our bodies are not.
February 5, 2020
Rất hay, là fan cứng của cuốn dám bị ghét thì nên nghía cuốn này luôn, một cuốn sách tuyệt vời
June 17, 2020
As I read these books by Kishimi and Koga, I can't help but think that something is lost in the translation, and that their books are written more for the Eastern mind instead of my more linear Western head. Nevertheless, I love the gentle wisdom this book imparts.
It is difficult to even copy down some of my favorite quotations because the concepts build through a conversation between a student and teacher. Here is a good example:
"Philosopher: There is no end to approval. so, they get praised and approved by others. As a result, they might find some fleeting realization of their own worth. Any joyful feeling thus gained, however, will be nothing more than something granted from outside them. They will be no different from clockwork dolls that do not move unless another person winds them up.
Youth: Uh. . . .maybe so , but . . .
Philosopher: The person who is capable of feeling truly happy only upon being praised will seek to get praised more until the very last moment of their life. Such a person, having been left a position of dependence, will lead a life of ceaseless seeking, a life without fulfillment.
Youth: Then what should one do?
Philosopher: Instead of seeking approval, one has to approve oneself, with one's own mind.
Youth: Approve oneself!?
Philosopher: Having another person decide the worth of "me"--that is dependence. Determining the worth of "me" oneself--that is self-reliance. If one were to ask which choice leads to a happy life, the answer should be clear. Your worth is not decided by someone else." (pg. 136-137)
And it is difficult to stop there because that is just the tip of the discussion. And as I'm trying to get my head around one concept, the discussions in the book have gone in a new direction. I keep just wanting some bold headlines with organized lists underneath. Sigh. It is probably good for me to stretch my mind in this way.
It is difficult to even copy down some of my favorite quotations because the concepts build through a conversation between a student and teacher. Here is a good example:
"Philosopher: There is no end to approval. so, they get praised and approved by others. As a result, they might find some fleeting realization of their own worth. Any joyful feeling thus gained, however, will be nothing more than something granted from outside them. They will be no different from clockwork dolls that do not move unless another person winds them up.
Youth: Uh. . . .maybe so , but . . .
Philosopher: The person who is capable of feeling truly happy only upon being praised will seek to get praised more until the very last moment of their life. Such a person, having been left a position of dependence, will lead a life of ceaseless seeking, a life without fulfillment.
Youth: Then what should one do?
Philosopher: Instead of seeking approval, one has to approve oneself, with one's own mind.
Youth: Approve oneself!?
Philosopher: Having another person decide the worth of "me"--that is dependence. Determining the worth of "me" oneself--that is self-reliance. If one were to ask which choice leads to a happy life, the answer should be clear. Your worth is not decided by someone else." (pg. 136-137)
And it is difficult to stop there because that is just the tip of the discussion. And as I'm trying to get my head around one concept, the discussions in the book have gone in a new direction. I keep just wanting some bold headlines with organized lists underneath. Sigh. It is probably good for me to stretch my mind in this way.
February 21, 2021
Cũng có một chút cái duyên với tác phẩm này.
Hồi năm 2018, thời điểm tác phẩm này chưa ra đời, sau khi đọc quyển Dám Bị Ghét đồng tác giả, cảm thấy đầy động lực và niềm vui, mình có đặt ra một câu hỏi: Tại sao tác giả không đặt tựa đề là "dám hạnh phúc" nhỉ? (hem tin thì xem review Dám Bị Ghét của mình nha :))
Cái gì cũng có nguyên nhân của nó: Câu trả lời là tác phẩm này đây!
Nếu để ý kỹ, tên tựa đề tiếng Anh của 2 tác phẩm này là "The Courage to Be Disliked" và "The Courage to be Happy" đều có chữ The Courage nghĩa là Lòng can đảm/dũng khí: Can đảm để bị ghét, can đảm để được hạnh phúc, để đạt được hạnh phúc.
Từ "dám" trong tựa dịch có chút sắc thái tiêu cực, giống như liều lĩnh, bất cần không có điểm tựa. Từ "Can đảm" mang đầy đủ sắc thái ý nghĩa của tác phẩm hơn, can đảm thì thường đi đôi cả niềm tin và lý trí nữa!
Để hiểu rõ cuộc cuộc tranh luận trong "Dám hạnh phúc" bạn cần phải đọc "Dám bị ghét" trước, vì phần lớn chủ đề tác phẩm này nảy sinh cuộc tranh luận trước.
Tiếp nối quyển 1, sau khi được nhà triết gia giải đáp, khơi mở nhiều điều về quan điểm của nhà tâm lý học Adler, chàng thanh niên tràn đầy can đảm, niềm tin để đưa ra những quyết định mới mà anh ấp ủ từ lâu: nghỉ công việc thủ thư mà anh cảm thấy nhàm chán để chuyển sang làm giáo viên dạy trẻ. Anh áp dụng những gì anh đã học được từ buổi trò chuyện với nhà Triết gia để giảng dạy: phương pháp giáo dục không thưởng phạt, không la mắng, phân chia nhiệm vụ... và rồi mọi thứ không xảy ra như ý muốn, học trò anh trở nên không vâng lời dân dần mọi thứ ngoài tầm kiểm soát của anh. Anh tức giận đến gặp nhà triết gia để trút giận, để phản bác tất cả những lý thuyết của ông. 4 phần đầu nội dung tranh luận xoay quanh vấn đề này. Nhìn chung thì nội dung 4 phần này không thực sự liên quan mật thiết đến tựa đề tác phẩm lắm. Chỉ có một vài khái niệm được đưa ra nhưng cũng chỉ để bổ sung thêm cho phần cuối, phần mình cho là hay nhất của quyển sách:
Hãy chọn cuộc đời yêu thương, cũng giống như "dám bị ghét", câu trả lời của "dám hạnh phúc" cũng không gì khác: lòng can đảm!
P/s: Phần cuối 5 sao, trừ 4 phần đầu 1 sao
Hồi năm 2018, thời điểm tác phẩm này chưa ra đời, sau khi đọc quyển Dám Bị Ghét đồng tác giả, cảm thấy đầy động lực và niềm vui, mình có đặt ra một câu hỏi: Tại sao tác giả không đặt tựa đề là "dám hạnh phúc" nhỉ? (hem tin thì xem review Dám Bị Ghét của mình nha :))
Cái gì cũng có nguyên nhân của nó: Câu trả lời là tác phẩm này đây!
Nếu để ý kỹ, tên tựa đề tiếng Anh của 2 tác phẩm này là "The Courage to Be Disliked" và "The Courage to be Happy" đều có chữ The Courage nghĩa là Lòng can đảm/dũng khí: Can đảm để bị ghét, can đảm để được hạnh phúc, để đạt được hạnh phúc.
Từ "dám" trong tựa dịch có chút sắc thái tiêu cực, giống như liều lĩnh, bất cần không có điểm tựa. Từ "Can đảm" mang đầy đủ sắc thái ý nghĩa của tác phẩm hơn, can đảm thì thường đi đôi cả niềm tin và lý trí nữa!
Để hiểu rõ cuộc cuộc tranh luận trong "Dám hạnh phúc" bạn cần phải đọc "Dám bị ghét" trước, vì phần lớn chủ đề tác phẩm này nảy sinh cuộc tranh luận trước.
Tiếp nối quyển 1, sau khi được nhà triết gia giải đáp, khơi mở nhiều điều về quan điểm của nhà tâm lý học Adler, chàng thanh niên tràn đầy can đảm, niềm tin để đưa ra những quyết định mới mà anh ấp ủ từ lâu: nghỉ công việc thủ thư mà anh cảm thấy nhàm chán để chuyển sang làm giáo viên dạy trẻ. Anh áp dụng những gì anh đã học được từ buổi trò chuyện với nhà Triết gia để giảng dạy: phương pháp giáo dục không thưởng phạt, không la mắng, phân chia nhiệm vụ... và rồi mọi thứ không xảy ra như ý muốn, học trò anh trở nên không vâng lời dân dần mọi thứ ngoài tầm kiểm soát của anh. Anh tức giận đến gặp nhà triết gia để trút giận, để phản bác tất cả những lý thuyết của ông. 4 phần đầu nội dung tranh luận xoay quanh vấn đề này. Nhìn chung thì nội dung 4 phần này không thực sự liên quan mật thiết đến tựa đề tác phẩm lắm. Chỉ có một vài khái niệm được đưa ra nhưng cũng chỉ để bổ sung thêm cho phần cuối, phần mình cho là hay nhất của quyển sách:
Hãy chọn cuộc đời yêu thương, cũng giống như "dám bị ghét", câu trả lời của "dám hạnh phúc" cũng không gì khác: lòng can đảm!
P/s: Phần cuối 5 sao, trừ 4 phần đầu 1 sao
March 29, 2019
Thế giới đơn giản, cuộc đời giản đơn, nhưng làm sao để tiếp tục sống đơn giản mới thật sự khó khăn.
Đọc quyển này sau quyển Dám bị ghét năm ngoái, mình không có một sự so sánh nào. Như kiểu quyển này không hay bằng hay quyển này hay hơn.
Mình chỉ nhận định rằng mình hiểu rõ hơn tư tưởng của Adler ở quyển này, và rất nhiều chi tiết ở đây phù hợp với cách sống của mình. Nhiệm vụ của mình là tiếp nhận, suy nghĩ và áp dụng thêm những quan điểm phù hợp và hiểu thêm về những quan điểm mình đã biết.
Cần phải thực hành thêm việc tin tưởng người khác vô điều kiện và phân chia nhiệm vụ rõ ràng, để chỉ cần thực hiện nhiệm vụ của mình thật tốt mà thôi.
Như kiểu, nhiệm vụ của mình là đối xử tốt với người này, còn việc người đó có đối xử tốt với mình thì mình không can thiệp, vì đó là nhiệm vụ của người đó.
Đọc quyển này sau quyển Dám bị ghét năm ngoái, mình không có một sự so sánh nào. Như kiểu quyển này không hay bằng hay quyển này hay hơn.
Mình chỉ nhận định rằng mình hiểu rõ hơn tư tưởng của Adler ở quyển này, và rất nhiều chi tiết ở đây phù hợp với cách sống của mình. Nhiệm vụ của mình là tiếp nhận, suy nghĩ và áp dụng thêm những quan điểm phù hợp và hiểu thêm về những quan điểm mình đã biết.
Cần phải thực hành thêm việc tin tưởng người khác vô điều kiện và phân chia nhiệm vụ rõ ràng, để chỉ cần thực hiện nhiệm vụ của mình thật tốt mà thôi.
Như kiểu, nhiệm vụ của mình là đối xử tốt với người này, còn việc người đó có đối xử tốt với mình thì mình không can thiệp, vì đó là nhiệm vụ của người đó.
January 23, 2020
I absolutely loved "The Courage to be Disliked", however I found this book much weaker. This book feels much shallower, and the dialogues much more protracted, than its predecessor. The best section of the book is basically the last few slim chapters which discuss relationships, but even that is shallow.
March 27, 2021
Courage to be disliked was better. It’s not enough to simply say you’re not a nihilist. If your thought is nihilistic, you’re a nihilist. It’s like if I claimed to not be a Holocaust denier, but then at every point that mattered, denied the holocaust. Some good stuff in this one but felt like wading through nonsense.
May 11, 2023
Kitabı çok beğendim. Yazarlar, Adler Psikolojisi/Felsefesi üzerine Japonya'da önde gelen isimlerden. Adler'i Japonya'da duyurmakla kalmayıp kitaplarıyla tüm dünyaya hatırlatmışlar. Kitap, Filozof ile Genç bir Adam arasında geçen dialoglardan oluşuyor ve yazarın bir önceki kitabı "Kendinle Savaşma Sanatı" nın devamı niteliğindeymiş. Arka kapakta devam kitabı yazmadığı için maalesef ilk kitabını okumadan ikinci kitabını okumuş oldum. İlk kitapla ilgili baya da spoiler var. Okumak isteyenlere ilk kitabıyla başlamalarını tavsiye ederim.
Konuşmalar yalın bir dille anlatıldığı için felsefe/psikoloji sevmeyenler bile okurken keyif alacaklardır.
Konuşmalar yalın bir dille anlatıldığı için felsefe/psikoloji sevmeyenler bile okurken keyif alacaklardır.
January 3, 2020
เล่มนี้เป็นภาคต่อจาก "กล้าที่จะถูกเกลียด" (หน้าปกสีฟ้าน้ำเงิน) ซึ่งที่จริงแล้ว ชื่อภาษาไทยของหนังสือภาคต่อเล่มนี้ แปลผิดไปจากความหมายของชื่อในภาษาญี่ปุ่น
กล่าวคือ ชื่อภาษาญี่ปุ่นของเล่มนี้ แปลว่า "กล้าที่จะมีความสุข"
เนื่องจากเนื้อหาของภาคนี้ ต่อเนื่องจากภาคก่อน ก็พอจะเข้าใจได้ว่า ทำไมสำนักพิมพ์ผู้แปลถึงยังคงชื่อแบบภาคแรกไว้ ทั้ง ๆ ที่เล่มนี้เน้นไปที่การมีความสุขจริง ๆ ตามชื่อภาษาญี่ปุ่นเลย
เป็นไปได้เหมือนกันว่า ถ้าตั้งชื่อไทยว่า "กล้าที่จะมีความสุข" แล้ว ผู้อ่านอาจไม่คิดว่าเป็นเล่มที่มีเนื้อหาต่อเนื่องกันจากเล่มก่อน
อย่างไรก็ตาม เล่มที่เป็นภาคก่อนหน้านั้น ชื่อในภาษาญี่ปุ่น ก็แปลว่า "กล้าที่จะถูกเกลียด" จริง ถือเป็นหนังสือที่ดีมาก ทุกคนในโลกนี้ควรได้อ่านเลย (จริง ๆ นะ)
และก่อนที่จะเริ่มอ่านภาคต่อนี้ ก็ขอแนะนำว่า ควรอ่านภาคแรกซ้ำอีกสักรอบก่อนด้วย เพื่อความต่อเนื่องในแนวคิด ว่าทำไม "กล้าที่จะมีความสุข" ถึงเป็นภาคต่อของ "กล้าที่จะถูกเกลียดได้"
รูปแบบการเขียนของหนังสือทั้งสองเล่มนี้ เหมือนกัน กล่าวคือ เป็นรูปแบบของบทสนทนาระหว่าง "ชายหนุ่ม" กับ "นักปรัชญา ซึ่งจะมีการกล่าวถาม ตอบ ถกเถียงกัน ในหลายต่อหลายประเด็น และหลายเรื่องนั้นจะค้านแย้งกับสามัญสำนึกของเราอย่างมาก
เป็นอีกเล่มที่แนะนำให้ทุกคนได้อ่าน โดยเฉพาะอย่างยิ่ง คนที่ประกอบอาชีพ ครูอาจารย์ คนที่มีลูกแล้ว ตลอดจนคนทั่ว ๆ ไปที่อยากจะมีความสุข
กล่าวคือ ชื่อภาษาญี่ปุ่นของเล่มนี้ แปลว่า "กล้าที่จะมีความสุข"
เนื่องจากเนื้อหาของภาคนี้ ต่อเนื่องจากภาคก่อน ก็พอจะเข้าใจได้ว่า ทำไมสำนักพิมพ์ผู้แปลถึงยังคงชื่อแบบภาคแรกไว้ ทั้ง ๆ ที่เล่มนี้เน้นไปที่การมีความสุขจริง ๆ ตามชื่อภาษาญี่ปุ่นเลย
เป็นไปได้เหมือนกันว่า ถ้าตั้งชื่อไทยว่า "กล้าที่จะมีความสุข" แล้ว ผู้อ่านอาจไม่คิดว่าเป็นเล่มที่มีเนื้อหาต่อเนื่องกันจากเล่มก่อน
อย่างไรก็ตาม เล่มที่เป็นภาคก่อนหน้านั้น ชื่อในภาษาญี่ปุ่น ก็แปลว่า "กล้าที่จะถูกเกลียด" จริง ถือเป็นหนังสือที่ดีมาก ทุกคนในโลกนี้ควรได้อ่านเลย (จริง ๆ นะ)
และก่อนที่จะเริ่มอ่านภาคต่อนี้ ก็ขอแนะนำว่า ควรอ่านภาคแรกซ้ำอีกสักรอบก่อนด้วย เพื่อความต่อเนื่องในแนวคิด ว่าทำไม "กล้าที่จะมีความสุข" ถึงเป็นภาคต่อของ "กล้าที่จะถูกเกลียดได้"
รูปแบบการเขียนของหนังสือทั้งสองเล่มนี้ เหมือนกัน กล่าวคือ เป็นรูปแบบของบทสนทนาระหว่าง "ชายหนุ่ม" กับ "นักปรัชญา ซึ่งจะมีการกล่าวถาม ตอบ ถกเถียงกัน ในหลายต่อหลายประเด็น และหลายเรื่องนั้นจะค้านแย้งกับสามัญสำนึกของเราอย่างมาก
เป็นอีกเล่มที่แนะนำให้ทุกคนได้อ่าน โดยเฉพาะอย่างยิ่ง คนที่ประกอบอาชีพ ครูอาจารย์ คนที่มีลูกแล้ว ตลอดจนคนทั่ว ๆ ไปที่อยากจะมีความสุข
July 11, 2022
Curajul de a fi fericit este continuarea cărții “Curajul de a nu fi pe placul celorlalți”, după ce le-am finisat pe ambele pot spune că cu siguranță sunt în capul listei cărților de psihologie citite de până acum, am încercat să citesc mai multe cărți de acest gen: psihologie, dezvoltare personală dar ajungeam la un abandon cam mereu pentru că parcă ceva nu se lega, se tărăgăna totul în jurul unei probleme fără a găsi capătul, fără o luminiță de adevăr sau vreo explicație lucidă.
Cred că și cărțile, precum oamenii, intră în viața noastră la momentul potrivit. Aceste cărți au intrat și ele la momentul potrivit în viața mea și cu fiecare pagină citită am făcut puțină ordine în gândurile și ideile mele.
Este o carte care cu siguranță îmi schimbă încet perspectiva asupra vieții și cu siguranță o să mai revin la învățăturile ei, este ca un ghid pe care trebuie să-l ai în bibliotecă și atunci când ceva pare a nu merge să o deschizi și să o recitești.
Recomand cu mare drag cartea. Indiferent dacă ești adolescent, tânăr, adult sau vârstnic. Merită să citești această carte. Nu promit că-ți va schimba viața și nici nu pot măcar garanta că îți va plăcea, dar merită să-i dai o șansă și să vezi ce efect are asupra ta.
Cred că și cărțile, precum oamenii, intră în viața noastră la momentul potrivit. Aceste cărți au intrat și ele la momentul potrivit în viața mea și cu fiecare pagină citită am făcut puțină ordine în gândurile și ideile mele.
Este o carte care cu siguranță îmi schimbă încet perspectiva asupra vieții și cu siguranță o să mai revin la învățăturile ei, este ca un ghid pe care trebuie să-l ai în bibliotecă și atunci când ceva pare a nu merge să o deschizi și să o recitești.
Recomand cu mare drag cartea. Indiferent dacă ești adolescent, tânăr, adult sau vârstnic. Merită să citești această carte. Nu promit că-ți va schimba viața și nici nu pot măcar garanta că îți va plăcea, dar merită să-i dai o șansă și să vezi ce efect are asupra ta.
April 25, 2019
Đọc xong 2 cuốn của tác giả Dám bị ghét và Dám hạnh phúc, thì mình nghiệm ra vài điều về nguyên nhân của sự trì hoãn. Mình sợ bị từ chối, mình sợ bị tổn thương, mình không dám can đảm để đón nhạn và đối mặt với thực tế cuộc sống của mình. Một điều nhỏ bé mang lại niềm vui, xóa bỏ mọi thắc mắc, hoài nghi về việc gọi là dám và không dám, tình yêu sẽ mở ra nhiều điều mới mỏi, niềm vui, tháo gỡ những nút thắt tưởng chừng không thể. Tôi tự hỏi mình, khi nào mới dám tự lập, mới dám yêu, dám hạnh phuc????
February 22, 2020
I love this book. Others reading it told me they disliked how much the youth argues and complains. It can be annoying but I really love the detail to which it forces the descriptions to go.
Also this book just really helped me as I’m going through a tough time emotionally and it helped me to grasp the beauty of being alive and having the privilege of experiences that are real and deeply meaningful, even if they are painful.
I’m on a mission to discover deeper kindness and love for fellow humans at the moment and this book has really helped me in that journey.
Also this book just really helped me as I’m going through a tough time emotionally and it helped me to grasp the beauty of being alive and having the privilege of experiences that are real and deeply meaningful, even if they are painful.
I’m on a mission to discover deeper kindness and love for fellow humans at the moment and this book has really helped me in that journey.
December 28, 2024
Round up score. A helpful expansion on “Courage to Be Disliked”. It can only be read as a sequel or expansion. This book does not stand on its own.
Everything I disliked about the character of the “Youth” is amplified to 11. He desperately needs some nose punching :) Beware of the anger emotion rising 😆
Everything I disliked about the character of the “Youth” is amplified to 11. He desperately needs some nose punching :) Beware of the anger emotion rising 😆
October 10, 2022
Tema și ideile discutate sunt foarte actuale, chiar recomandate să fie știute și de alții, dar abordarea acestor idei nu mi-a plăcut deloc.
M-a plictisit enorm poziția și atitudinea tânărului față de filosof, prea cinic, prea nesimțit și prea dus la extreme.
Aș fi apreciat mult o atitudine mai respectuoasă și conștientă, dar pentru că extremele atrag, cred că scopul acestei cărți a fost atins.
Despre respect în relații cu ceilalți, despre cooperare, despre altfel de educație, decât cea clasică, cu pedepse și recompense, despre dăruiește și ți se va, adică oferi iubire, primești iubire, respecți, ești respectat.
Să o citiți, poate pe voi acest model de scriere nu vă va deranja precum pe mine.
M-a plictisit enorm poziția și atitudinea tânărului față de filosof, prea cinic, prea nesimțit și prea dus la extreme.
Aș fi apreciat mult o atitudine mai respectuoasă și conștientă, dar pentru că extremele atrag, cred că scopul acestei cărți a fost atins.
Despre respect în relații cu ceilalți, despre cooperare, despre altfel de educație, decât cea clasică, cu pedepse și recompense, despre dăruiește și ți se va, adică oferi iubire, primești iubire, respecți, ești respectat.
Să o citiți, poate pe voi acest model de scriere nu vă va deranja precum pe mine.
November 19, 2022
Me parece una buena continuación al primer libro y una profundización aún mayor en la filosofía de Alfred Adler.
Creo que el formato conversación beneficia mucho al libro y lo hace mucho más fluido.
Es cierto que si me tengo que quedar con uno, me quedo con el primero, pero este me parece también muy interesante.
Creo que el formato conversación beneficia mucho al libro y lo hace mucho más fluido.
Es cierto que si me tengo que quedar con uno, me quedo con el primero, pero este me parece también muy interesante.
March 15, 2025
Much of the discussion mirrors that of the previous book, featuring the same conversational style and repetitive content that is irrelevant to the main topic.
October 26, 2023
True contentment is within your power.
.
This book is described as a compass. A tool if you will to navigate and guide you along a path of discovery in finding the courage to be happy. It provides insights into living life courageously and finding happiness along the way. A sequel to the international global sensation that was The courage to be disliked.
.
It takes right off from where we finished up last time and it’s super easy to fall back into the dialogue between the young man and the wise philosopher. Just as his beliefs of Adler in providing the strength and courage to be disliked, the philosopher likens the same key theories to that of living a life of happiness and fulfilment. The young man is loaded with doubt in the beginning and starts off all gung-ho, looking for someone to blame and to point a finger. But as the chapters unfold.. the argumentative debate blossoms into a convo blessed with paraphrases to gain a better understanding of this psychology. The light is turned on and towards the end it shines bright.
.
I loved the rawness of the way it is written in the dialogue format. The banter if you like of two people testing each others concepts and beliefs. It is really easy to follow along and it’s as if you’re a third person in the room watching it all unfold. I loved that each comment is backed up with context for clarity. That one thing can be explained in a multitude of ways. It all occurred in the space of one evening. The night time conversation made this more meaningful in a way. Two souls in the night coming together for the greater good in a safe held space.
.
A common theme referenced throughout is heavily reliant on individuals doing the work on themselves from within. It explores why some people can’t/ or wont change; how communication shapes everything; the art of understanding and giving and that everything is a decision and should be kept simple. By the end of the book you are left feeling inspired and empowered to take control and write your future on your terms.
.
Respect, kindness, confidence and love are key words at the forefront of this read and are all deeply resonating. A goal of happiness starts with a decision but takes more than just a desire to achieve it. Don’t be afraid of making yourself smile.
.
This book is enchanting and such a beautiful read to soak in the richness of living your best life by changing your way of thinking.
.
This book is described as a compass. A tool if you will to navigate and guide you along a path of discovery in finding the courage to be happy. It provides insights into living life courageously and finding happiness along the way. A sequel to the international global sensation that was The courage to be disliked.
.
It takes right off from where we finished up last time and it’s super easy to fall back into the dialogue between the young man and the wise philosopher. Just as his beliefs of Adler in providing the strength and courage to be disliked, the philosopher likens the same key theories to that of living a life of happiness and fulfilment. The young man is loaded with doubt in the beginning and starts off all gung-ho, looking for someone to blame and to point a finger. But as the chapters unfold.. the argumentative debate blossoms into a convo blessed with paraphrases to gain a better understanding of this psychology. The light is turned on and towards the end it shines bright.
.
I loved the rawness of the way it is written in the dialogue format. The banter if you like of two people testing each others concepts and beliefs. It is really easy to follow along and it’s as if you’re a third person in the room watching it all unfold. I loved that each comment is backed up with context for clarity. That one thing can be explained in a multitude of ways. It all occurred in the space of one evening. The night time conversation made this more meaningful in a way. Two souls in the night coming together for the greater good in a safe held space.
.
A common theme referenced throughout is heavily reliant on individuals doing the work on themselves from within. It explores why some people can’t/ or wont change; how communication shapes everything; the art of understanding and giving and that everything is a decision and should be kept simple. By the end of the book you are left feeling inspired and empowered to take control and write your future on your terms.
.
Respect, kindness, confidence and love are key words at the forefront of this read and are all deeply resonating. A goal of happiness starts with a decision but takes more than just a desire to achieve it. Don’t be afraid of making yourself smile.
.
This book is enchanting and such a beautiful read to soak in the richness of living your best life by changing your way of thinking.
January 4, 2020
Quyển này viết sâu hơn và có chút trừu tượng hơn Dám bị ghét. Kiểu ở tầm vĩ mô quá nên nhiều khi mình cứ khựng lại 1 lát để suy ngẫm kỹ từng chữ. Nhiều quan điểm giáo dục, quan điểm hạnh phúc, quan điểm sống rất hay được đưa ra. Cá nhân mình thấy mình có suy nghĩ khá tương đồng với chàng trai. Mình thấy quan điểm của vị triết gia nó cứ hoàn hảo quá đến mức rất khó thực hiện trong thực tiễn ấy. Để làm được phải đòi hỏi nhiều yếu tố lắm. Tuy nhiên có vài quan điểm mình cực kỳ ưng vì nó rất thực tế và cần thiết
Thứ nhất, đừng coi trọng giá trị của việc khác người mà hãy coi trọng giá trị của việc là chính mình. Đó mới là cá tính thực sự. Không thừa nhận chính mình so sánh bản thân với người khác cố làm rõ sự khác biệt chính là cách sống lừa dối người khác và lừa dối bản thân.
Thứ hai, giá trị con người không phải được quyết định bằng người đó làm công việc gì mà được quyết định bằng người đó nỗ lực cho công việc đó với thái độ như thế nào.
Thứ ba, chúng ta không được trở thành kẻ đầy tớ của định mệnh. Phải là chủ nhân của nó. Định mệnh là do chính bàn tay chúng ta tạo nên.
Thứ tư, muốn được người khác yêu thương tôn trọng, bản thân mình phải chấp nhận con người mình tôn trọng bản thể ấy và yêu thương lấy nó.
Tựu chung cuốn sách này ưng lắm. 4/5☆ nhé.
Thứ nhất, đừng coi trọng giá trị của việc khác người mà hãy coi trọng giá trị của việc là chính mình. Đó mới là cá tính thực sự. Không thừa nhận chính mình so sánh bản thân với người khác cố làm rõ sự khác biệt chính là cách sống lừa dối người khác và lừa dối bản thân.
Thứ hai, giá trị con người không phải được quyết định bằng người đó làm công việc gì mà được quyết định bằng người đó nỗ lực cho công việc đó với thái độ như thế nào.
Thứ ba, chúng ta không được trở thành kẻ đầy tớ của định mệnh. Phải là chủ nhân của nó. Định mệnh là do chính bàn tay chúng ta tạo nên.
Thứ tư, muốn được người khác yêu thương tôn trọng, bản thân mình phải chấp nhận con người mình tôn trọng bản thể ấy và yêu thương lấy nó.
Tựu chung cuốn sách này ưng lắm. 4/5☆ nhé.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 833 reviews