Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex, or Whatever

by Mary Jo Rapini, Janine H. Sherman

A Q&A guide for mother-daughter conversations about female health and sexuality, this book targets both daughters and mothers. Start Talking contains more than 113 questions girls ask including questions about periods, sex, relationships, guys, eating, exercise, body development, along with similar questions verbalized by mothers. Each chapter contains basic information accompanied by real-life vignettes, questions and answers for moms, questions and answers for daughters, "Table Talk" suggestions for moms on how to engage each other around these topics. This book differs from books targeting just girls understanding their own bodies, and from books targeting just mothers on what they should it is deliberately meant to spark conversations.

200 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2008

About the author

Refreshingly lively, candid and down-to-earth, Janine Sherman, OB/GYN nurse practitioner, captivates audiences with honest answers to some of lifes toughest topics. Specializing in caring for the physical health of teens and their moms, Sherman provides ideas to help mothers and daughters engage in open, honest conversation.

Co-author of Start Talking: A Girls Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever (Bayou Publishing, ISBN-13: 978-1-886298-31-6, $14.95), Sherman offers sample conversations, answers, and real life stories to help moms and daughters engage in better communication about health, sex, body image and dating."

Reviews

[Wayne Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am perhaps not the best person to review a book about health, hygiene, and sex instruction for teenage girls because first I am a guy and second I have only sons. However, it was sent to me, and I agreed to review it, so here are my thoughts. The authors cite some startling statistics which indicate how important it is for parents, and especially mothers, to talk with their daughters about these matters. “Recent studies repeatedly demonstrate that the average adolescent has sexual intercourse for the first time at 15 years of age” (p. 89). “Recent studies have indicated that 88% of people have premarital sex” (p. 118). Yet, as the Introduction points out, daughters are commonly reluctant to approach their mothers for advice due to fear of punishment or embarrassment, and mothers often hesitate to engage their daughters in health-related dialogue because they feel shy, inadequate, or poorly informed.
Thus, the authors state, “The goal of this book is to empower mothers and daughters with accurate and comprehensive knowledge so that they can have the open, relaxed, and informative conversations about sex and female health that every young woman needs and deserves” (p. 14). There are chapters on menstruation, routine health care, sexually transmitted diseases, sexuality and relationships, birth control, body image, and developing one’s passions. As I read through Start Talking, which won both a Mom’s Choice Award and a Parenting Media Award, I found that it contains a lot of very useful, practical information. However, there are a few areas where some people may strongly disagree. For example, “As parents, abstinence until marriage sounds like a great idea for our daughters. Unfortunately, as a public policy, it has not proven particularly effective” (p. 13). I have seen numerous studies and surveys with copious statistics which reach an entirely different conclusion.
In the chapter on birth control, the authors do say, “The thought of abstinence is a wonderful one; we support it” (p. 117). Yet they also say, “If your child is thinking of having sex, it is reasonable to strongly encourage abstinence, but making it the forbidden fruit will not keep her from doing it….If you feel she is having sex or about to have sex, then—yes—equip her to be safe. Let her know you may not agree with her decision, but she and her safety are extremely important to you” (pp. 135-137). Based on deeply held religious convictions, some parents may simply not feel comfortable with this approach. Also, in discussing abortion as a form of “birth control,” the question, “How do I decide if I should terminate a pregnancy?”, is answered, “It is the woman’s choice, since she will have to ultimately live with whatever choice is made.” Of course, it is a woman’s choice, but, again, there are those with the deeply held religious belief that it is always a wrong choice. Obviously, a family’s religious views must be taken into consideration when making these kinds of decisions. As with any other work by human beings, one may utilize those suggestions which are applicable and reject those which are deemed inappropriate. But the main conclusion of the book is still quite valid. “The best steps to prevent sex before the age of eighteen [or we might add before marriage, WSW] involve good communication between you and your daughter” (p. 112).

[Ruth Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I realized just this morning that I had never reviewed this book. Even though it has been some time since I read this book, this is a fantastic guide for mother's and daughters to discuss the important topics. While it is not a Christian book, it covers everything in an objective way. You make the decisions about what you share with your daughter. But this lets you know what needs to be discussed. My daughter is two years older since the time I read this, and the time is getting closer every day to the discussion about these important subjects. I have an open dialogue with her, and even at the age of ten, she knows she can ask me anything. I plan to keep this book handy for any moments when I don't know what to say.

[Lenore Webb · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Start Talking' is a girl's guide for you and your daughter about health, sex and whatever else you may come across. It is great at questions and answers from the top to the bottom of our bodies. All those things women have to learn about and control. And it goes on from there to some of the harder questions of relationships and body image. I wish I had had this book before. Way before!

[Jane H · Rating 2 out of 5]

while anything is better than nothing, we didn't like the tone of this book. it talked down to the teen.