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The Kids Are in Bed: Finding Time for Yourself in the Chaos of Parenting

3.68  ·  Rating details ·  53 ratings  ·  19 reviews
"All new moms should shove a copy of The Kids Are in Bed in the diaper bag between the asswipes and Aquaphor! A perfect guide on how-to not morph solely into someone's mom and retain your badassery in a world of Disneyfication and baby sharks."
--Jill Kargman, author of Sprinkle Glitter on My Grave and creator of Odd Mom Out

Picture it--it's 8:30 p.m. You close the door to
Paperback, 320 pages
Published January 7th 2020 by Plume Books
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Jenny (Reading Envy)
Jan 08, 2020 rated it really liked it
I've been reading more parenting books because my husband and I are in the early stages of the state adoption process, too early to really share more than that. But I've never been a parent, and I know you can't really learn it from a book, I thought I might at least find some books to return to.

This one is tackling the important topic of your identity outside your children, staying connected to your partner (assuming you have one,) staying connected to your friends (assuming they stick around,)
Alicia Bayer
Nov 10, 2019 rated it it was ok
Don't bother. An entire book composed of the author first complaining about not having enough time for herself, then writing about how terrible modern parents have it, then chapter by chapter talking about her life in each subject (marriage, sex, friends, responsible things like exercise and doctor's appointments, etc.), then talking about what her friends said about it, mentioning a bit of research about it, and offering a tip or two and moving on. It reads like a vanity project of an academic, ...more
Genevieve Trono
Nov 10, 2019 rated it really liked it
The Kids Are in Bed was my first book by Rachel Bertsche. In a society where people (and especially parents) are feeling more burnt out than ever before, I love the idea of rethinking the time that we DO have. The Kids Are in Bed shared some proactive ideas for parents about not getting "stuck" in every day (sometimes very monotonous) family life grind and utilizing the downtime that you do have in your daily/weekly/monthly schedules.

I thought Bertsche really succeeded at sharing helping
Dec 14, 2019 rated it really liked it
Thanks to the publisher for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

“Yet even those quiet moments didn’t feel entirely free. Free implies a person has nothing else to do, that there’s not a long list of obligations that could be attended to right then and there. For mothers especially, even time that is unaccounted for in her schedule—she’s not supposed to be at the office, she doesn’t have an appointment, there is nothing on her calendar, and her kids are under someone else’s
Feb 12, 2020 rated it liked it
Skimmed the second half of this, as it's overdue at the library (sort of funny considering the topic- I'm pretty sure I was the first one to put this on hold/check it out). I think this is a great book in many ways. It addresses the things that parents deal with, how to juggle the 1,000 things you need to do- not in parenting, but in managing your life and self as a person outside of being a parent, when so much time is devoted to parenting. However, as someone who is dealing with this as we ...more
Feb 12, 2020 rated it did not like it
In spite of being a mom without a lot of spare time, I clearly did not fit the demographic for this book. I do not have a career, or wish for one; my husband does not have a flexible work schedule; I do not live in a city; I do not have a reasonable (i.e., two or fewer) number of children; my children are homeschooled and thus never leave the house without me; and I do not have pots of money for babysitters, date nights, or several weekend vacations a year. I got maybe two good tips from this ...more
Carrie O'Maley Voliva
Jan 14, 2020 rated it really liked it
This should be required reading for all new parents. The research, coupled with personal anecdotes, helped me feel validated and understood with my challenges, but unlike other similar books, this one had concrete ways to carve out that important time for yourself.
I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.

The Kids Are In Bed: Finding Time For Yourself in the Chaos of Parenting is a self-help book that looks at how to make time for yourself after you've had kids.

I'm really on the fence about this one because while I didn't find much advice on how to make "me time" happen, other than the same basic advice you've probably heard a million times before. I found this
Feb 10, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Great read.

Incredibly well researched and engaging. I’m not sure what I expected - maybe to get some good tips, but mostly bemusement - yet I was surprised at how surprised I was. I felt like she cracked open my brain and exposed my innermost thoughts. (How did she know I think that way??)

Everything was practical. Nothing mind-blowing; I knew it all, really. But it was presented in an almost scientific fashion (yet somehow anecdotal) that left me feeling inspired and determined. And I loved
Dec 30, 2019 rated it liked it
I loved this author's first book about finding female friendships. It was the perfect blend of information and narrative. This book is so heavy on information that it was hard for me to get through. It felt more like an insanely long research paper than a book. I am a busy parent of five and could not sustain reading this book because it felt so much like "homework".

If you're looking for a parent's guide that is heavy on research, studies, facts, and figures then this is a great book for you.
Feb 17, 2020 rated it liked it
I really hoped to glean something useful from this book. But, instead I got another book written by an upper middle class white person telling me that I need to make more time for myself by spending money (babysitters, expensive exercise classes, vacations without children). I didn't find anything I having already been pummeled with by other upper middle class white authors and "time management specialists" like Laura Vanderkam.
Bethany Vaughn
Dec 16, 2019 rated it liked it
I really liked the idea of this book more than I liked the actual book. I thought there wasn’t enough research to show how parents without help in the home can make time to take care of themselves.
Thank you to NetGalley for my copy of this book.
Tanya Vought
Feb 05, 2020 rated it really liked it
This book reminded me that we do have enough time. (That it's there if we look for it. )
And to make sure to find ways to carve time into our daily routine for us. It's beneficial for the kids and ourselves/spouses too.

3.5 stars from me.
Jan 13, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Essential reading for parents of tiny humans.
Harriet Epstein
Dec 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Love it! Helpful, funny, informative. Great suggestions for finding time for things other than parenting and work. I really like the case studies with other parents.
Jan 05, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Loved it!!
Feb 07, 2020 rated it liked it
Very thankful to the author for writing this, I reluctantly give three starts— first half is 5 stars, but second half seemed stretched. Thank you!
Feb 10, 2020 rated it it was amazing
A must read for all parents. This book is filled with research backed reasons and methods to invest in yourself, your marriage and your friends! Regardless, I always love a book by Rachel Bertsche!
Aug 02, 2019 rated it really liked it
This book definitely speaks to me as a working mother of twins. I think all of my friends who are parents will relate to it too. The author's research shows that so many parents are all struggling to balance our time and care for ourselves, and she gives some practical tips on how to help change that. I admit that while I read the beginning of the book, I just skimmed the second half or so as I felt like I'd already gotten gist of what the author had to say.

I received an ARC from NetGalley. The
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Rachel Bertsche is the author of The Kids Are in Bed: Finding Time for Yourself in the Chaos of Parenting, MWF Seeking BFF, and Jennifer, Gwyneth & Me. A former editor at O, The Oprah Magazine, her work has appeared in Marie Claire, More, Teen Vogue, Every Day with Rachael Ray, Fitness, Women’s Health, New York,, and more. She lives in Chicago with her husband and two children.