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What I Carry

Jennifer Longo (Goodreads Author)

4.58 · Rating details · 40 ratings · 16 reviews

For readers of Robin Benway's Far From the Tree, a powerful and heartwarming look at a teen girl about to age out of the foster care system.

Growing up in foster care, Muir has lived in many houses. And if she's learned one thing, it is to Pack. Light.
Carry only what fits in a suitcase.
Toothbrush? Yes.
Socks? Yes.
Emotional attachment to friends? foster families? a boyfriend? ...more

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Hardcover, 336 pages

Expected publication: January 21st 2020 by Random House Books for Young Readers

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Average rating 4.58 ·

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· 40 ratings · 16 reviews

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Sep 27, 2019 Lauren rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult

4.5 stars - a beautiful story of nature. A story of friendship and finding it where you least expect it. Foster care is a subject that isn’t talked about enough in juvenile fiction. And I love the characters in What I Carry.

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Oct 14, 2019 Nancy Fischer rated it it was amazing

I had the chance to hear Jennifer Longo speak at an NCIBA luncheon. Her presentation was funny, poignant and sincere. I picked up an ARC of her novel afterward... and was immediately hooked by the utterly unique voice and story.

In What I Carry, Jennifer Longo writes.... Exactly the right thing. Every single time.

This story about Muir, abandoned at birth, named by the nurses in the NICU, and her journey through the foster system and towards the chance to unpack, find love and home, is moving ...more

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Oct 31, 2019 Book added it

Shelves: 2019, favorites

I do not usually cry when I read books. I get misty...occasionally...but crying? Not so much. So it's saying a whole hell of a lot that when I finished this book I was sobbing. I love Muiriel. Love Francine. Love Sean and Kira and Terry Johnson. And the writing is the kind that makes you want to be a better writer. Hands down the best book I've read in 2019.

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Jan 17, 2020 Angela rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: giveaways

I received this book for free from Goodreads Giveaways.

This book gave me mixed feelings - on one hand, there were aspects I really liked, but on the other, I had some issues with it. Perhaps a pros and cons list will help better explain!

Cons

- Muir has been in foster care her entire life and she's developed her own coping mechanisms, which for her include never staying too long in one placement. I cannot even pretend to understand Muir's life, but to me it didn't make sense that she would choose I received this book for free from Goodreads Giveaways.

This book gave me mixed feelings - on one hand, there were aspects I really liked, but on the other, I had some issues with it. Perhaps a pros and cons list will help better explain!

Cons

- Muir has been in foster care her entire life and she's developed her own coping mechanisms, which for her include never staying too long in one placement. I cannot even pretend to understand Muir's life, but to me it didn't make sense that she would choose to leave situations or homes that were decent places. At various points throughout the book, she would describe to the reader some of the items in her suitcase and the stories behind them, so we got only glimpses of what her childhood was like. By the time we meet her, at 17, she has almost completely closed herself off from any type of relationship, believing that there is no one she can rely on but herself. It was kind of frustrating, and also heart-breaking.
- The characters are a little too perfect. It was almost too big of a coincidence that in her last placement before aging out, Muir lives with the perfect foster mom, meets the ideal boyfriend, and gains a best friend, all within days of moving in. She never really had anyone before, besides her social worker, and suddenly she has all these people - in addition to also finding the perfect job at a wilderness camp.
- There's not much drama. In a book about a girl who is about to be thrown into the adult world all alone, there is surprisingly little conflict. Muir's best friend, Kira, has some tough stuff in her background and is bullied at school, but "bad" things are solved so quickly it's almost like they didn't happen.

Pros

- As much as I was frustrated by Muir at times, I also had to admire her. She's so independent and down-to-earth; she gets good grades and is polite to pretty much everyone she meets. I admired the decisions she made, even as a young child, to be a good person and not create unnecessary drama or conflict for herself, knowing how difficult her life already was.
- Even though I mentioned above that it was a con that there wasn't much drama, this really was a feel-good book that had me rooting for Muir to accept the love and help that Francine, Sean, and Kira were trying to give her.
- The author's adopted daughter was born into foster care and was in a few placements before coming to the author, so the story was written for her. I feel like I learned a lot about the foster care system, and it was nice to see the "good" side of the system, since mainly you only hear about the horror stories.

3.5 stars ...more

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Sep 06, 2019 Lily Maguire rated it it was amazing

As the third of my summer reading books, I read What I Carry by Jennifer Longo. It follows Muir, seventeen year old girl who was worked through the foster care system her entire life, and is about to “age out” and be forced to live and provide for herself. She has been assigned to her final foster mother, a New York City woman who promises herself that Muir is her last foster child. Throughout her life, Muir has lived with a “no emotional baggage” policy. She makes it a priority to not get that As the third of my summer reading books, I read What I Carry by Jennifer Longo. It follows Muir, seventeen year old girl who was worked through the foster care system her entire life, and is about to “age out” and be forced to live and provide for herself. She has been assigned to her final foster mother, a New York City woman who promises herself that Muir is her last foster child. Throughout her life, Muir has lived with a “no emotional baggage” policy. She makes it a priority to not get that close with many people at whatever school that she gets put into. However, in her final school, she meets people that she can’t help but fall in love with. She is forced to ask herself the question; where truly is home?
Despite being mostly being a fun and romantic teenage love story, this book also covers a very serious and very relevant issue; the sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes life, changing foster system. In the book, Muir is almost excited to age out of the system. She is tired and bored of moving from house to house, which is probably a very realistic way of portraying a character in that situation. She is excited to finally be living free and for herself, which is a completely different lifestyle from the one she is used to, where she is constantly told where to go and how to act. This book made me realize how much pain and sorrow foster children must go through during their time in the system. It also got me thinking about how heartbreaking it must be to not have a family want to adopt you, which is another topic the book often touches on. The idea of becoming accustomed to a whole new family and home every few months seems unfathomable to me, and this book really opened my eyes to how it really does feel for some foster children.
The mother figure role is this book is taken by Muir’s new foster mom. She is not used to opening her home to older foster children, so Muir is a completely new step for her. Also, since this is Muir’s last home before aging out, she knows that she can cruise through her time here with ease. However, she begins to make strong emotional connections with her new “mother”, which is something she never truly experienced in a foster home before. This family-like dynamic in the story made me think more into how sometimes, children in the system never find a permanent home, and are forced to take care of themselves with no form of guidance. There are many cases in which children who age out of the system end up homeless or impoverished. The more the book talked about children who do end up this way, the more I wished that every foster child would eventually find families and homes that loved them. Though this is a topic that I have no connection to, it is something I hope for whenever I read or see anything covering the topic of foster care.
Since the idea of foster care is so foreign to me, this book made me wonder about how exactly the system is meant to work. In the book, Muir is excited to leave the system, which is something that confused me when the idea was first mentioned. I wondered why anyone would want to leave an organization that provides you with a family and housing. However, as the book goes on, the reasons for her enthusiasm about her departure become much more clear. She is tired off hopping from place to place, and she prefers having no relationships at all to ones she knows she will eventually have to leave. She feels that once she is free, she can do whatever she wants. The book is more focused specifically on Muir’s time in the system, and not the system as a whole, which makes the reader feel closer and more invested in Muir’s story. As I was reading, I began to wonder how adoptions and fostering actually work. I ended up asking myself questions about how families decide how long to keep a child, or how early children begin foster care. This book makes you consider real life situations, which makes the story feel that much more personal.
Another aspect of this story touches on is the “forbidden” friendships Muir makes while at her new school. Muir is depicted as a very obedient and rule-following person, but she soon meets Kira, a fun-loving and wild girl at a local coffee shop. The two become unlikely friends after realizing that they are more similar than either of them could ever imagine. Muir also meets Sean, a counselor at a wildlife camp for children who are fascinated by hiking. Despite being very well known and respected in the town, Sean quickly finds himself absolutely enthralled with Muir, who is a newcomer to town. This story talks heavily about finding friendships in the most unlikely places. It makes the reader see that love is much more than meets the eye, and embracing one another’s differences make friendships and relationships that much more beautiful.
The family dynamic in this story in insanely important. It symbolizes a feeling that Muir is not used to, and never thought she would ever get the chance to experience. When Muir and her foster mother grow closer, the reader eventually learns the lesson that family is insanely important in life, and having one that will care for you and love you can change your entire world view. This book definitely made me believe that the importance of family cannot be stressed enough. This aspect of the story also shows how heartbreaking Muir’s past is, considering she had to leave tons of families in the past.
Though this book covers lots of dark topics, it also shows a bright side of the foster care system; the one where children find the families they have been looking for. This books makes it’s reader feel hope and faith that everyone, not just foster children, has a place that they belong in. It also shows that people can on day surround themselves with people who love them for exactly who you are. This is a very positive story with lots of uplifting and happy plot lines, but it also covers real life situations, and gives readers hope for the future of their own society. I think that this book will play a big role in raising awareness for this emotional cause in a fun and humorous way.
This story made me feel lots of emotions. As a usual young adult novel, the characters are very likable and easy to understand, yet also very complex and three dimensional. You find yourself becoming very invested the story lines of each of the different characters and feeling the same emotions that they do. The book has that classic and fun teen drama essence to it, but with a more mature and serious twist. The emotions this book evokes are very real and raw, which is lovely to see in a young adult book. This book made me feel happy, sad, angry and hopeful, which are all signs of a beautiful book.
...more

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Jan 12, 2020 Barbara rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: addiction, animals, art, baking, bullies, community, compassion, conflict, cooking, economics

Foster care and adoption are often nothing like the typical stories published about them. In this book, readers meet seventeen-year-old Muir who is close to aging out of the system, and learn about what it might be like to grow up in the foster care system. Although her case worker, Joellen, does her best to find the right placements for Muir, something always goes wrong. Lest readers assume that the problem is with Muir and her behavior, as she's grown older, she's the one who lets Joellen know Foster care and adoption are often nothing like the typical stories published about them. In this book, readers meet seventeen-year-old Muir who is close to aging out of the system, and learn about what it might be like to grow up in the foster care system. Although her case worker, Joellen, does her best to find the right placements for Muir, something always goes wrong. Lest readers assume that the problem is with Muir and her behavior, as she's grown older, she's the one who lets Joellen know that the placement isn't right, and she needs to move on, each time hardening another piece of her heart. Thus, she's been in more than 17 different homes, and when she leaves, she takes some small token with her. When Joellen places her with Francine, who lives on an island not far from Seattle, Muir figures she'll do her best to last the whole year and then move on. She has no intention of getting attached to Francine or anyone, for that matter. But she meets Kira, a talented artist who works at a bakery, and gets her in a way that no one else has before, as well as Sean, a local boy working at the same wilderness camp at which she finds a job. He loves the woods and nature as much as she does. Then there's Terry Johnson, the friendly dog belonging to Francine, who worms his way into her heart, just as Francine does with her patient understanding and support of Muir. The author threads in flashbacks in which Muir recalls various placements, allowing readers to understand why she now travels so light, trusts no one, and refuses to even unpack her suitcase once she arrives at her destination. This is a lovely story of healing, hope, and learning to trust others even while standing up for yourself and what's right. I heaved a sigh of relief once I reached the final page because I was so fearful that Muir's own fears would keep her from finding happiness or accepting the love others were offering her. After all, how many times can someone's heart be broken or her expectations be disappointed before she gives up completely and places barbed wire and insulation around her heart? This was a story well worth the time it took to read it and a necessary revision to the dominant narrative about foster care. ...more

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Jan 14, 2020 LittleMissBookworm rated it really liked it

"It was the thought that it would be so nice to have help - her help - that made me cry harder. Because very soon, the second I aged out, I would have no help from anyone at all."

In movies foster kids are more often than not portrayed as troublemakers and/or have to endure endless abuse by their caregivers. I love that Jennifer Longo has listened to her daughter, who was born into foster care herself, and tells a different story here. It's about a girl who has been in the system all her life ...more

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Jan 14, 2020 Kristy rated it really liked it

Shelves: contemporary, young-adult, 4-star, library

This is the story of Muiriel, a girl born into foster care and determined to be as well-behaved as possible in order to not get adopted.

It took until near the end of the book when it was actually explained for me to understand why Muir didn't want anybody to adopt her. It was frustrating to listen to all these people saying "we love you" to her and having her refuse to believe them. I've never been in her situation, so maybe I would feel the same if I had been.

The characters are introduced my ...more

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Jan 14, 2020 Ashley rated it liked it · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jan 13, 2020 Michele rated it it was amazing

Shelves: young-adult

Really great book about a teen who is about to age out of the foster system. She has been very protective of herself for so many years that it’s hard for her to accept the love and support of anyone trying to help her. She has been in 20 placements, usually because she wanted to leave, and keeps a single momento from each place and her back story is told through those objects.

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Jan 05, 2020 Olivia rated it really liked it

A heartwarming contemporary novel that beautifully depicts the bonds formed between a teenage girl who struggles to remain detached from society as she travels through the foster care system, her caring and handsome coworker/classmate, and an aspiring artist, who is trying not to let bullies get the best of her.

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Nov 01, 2019 Laura Namey rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites, ya-stars

Oh my, this book shines with well-drawn characters, a beautiful story, and gorgeous prose. I ate up every single word and this book has joined the ranks of being one of my favorite reads of all time. Don't miss this gem!

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Jan 13, 2020 Kergy rated it it was amazing

This was a very moving story about a young girl's journey through the foster care system and how she learned to cope with moving so often and how to rely on herself. Fortunately, she had a great social worker who helped her navigate through the system from birth until she was ready to age out.

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Aug 17, 2019 Jenna (Bookiemoji) rated it it was amazing

Too soon to discuss! I look forward to reading the finished book!! ...more

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Jan 06, 2020 Tina rated it it was amazing

Shelves: books-enjoyed-in-2020

What a GEM of a book!! I loved everything about it! This book fills you with hope and makes you want to go out into the world and spread some love, sunshine and much needed kindness.

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Sep 20, 2019 Andrew rated it it was amazing

Shelves: books-that-should-be-movies, favorites, fiction

Muiriel's one constant love is nature, but she refuses to put down roots. Born into the foster care system, she's moved through many homes (often willingly). Now, age seventeen, she's put to the test of staying in one place for her senior year on Bainbridge Island in Seattle, and everything about life here is perfect... yet she's determined not to become attached. Longo has a way of writing that brings you niche, extraordinary facts one might not seek out themselves-- I learned a lot about John ...more

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About Jennifer Longo

Jennifer Longo

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Jennifer Longo’s WHAT I CARRY (Penguin Random House) publishes Januray 21, 2020. Her debut novel SIX FEET OVER IT ("SUPERB" - Kirkus, Starred) published 2014 by Penguin Random House, Edited by Chelsea Eberly and represented by Melissa Sarver at Folio Literary. Her second novel, UP TO THIS POINTE ("SAVVY...VIVIDLY CONVEYED" The Bulletin, Starred) published 2016, also courtesy of Penguin Random ...more