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The Smart Girl's Guide to Porn
The secret is out: Women watch porn. A recent study by Glamour magazine found that 87 percent of women ages 25 to 39 enjoy porn as part of their self-defined healthy sexual lifestyles — even more than use sex toys.
In The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn, acclaimed sex educator Violet Blue offers hip, friendly, and knowledgeable advice on bringing porn into your sex life: how to find porn you’ll like, from favorite turn-ons and women-friendly DVDs to Podcasts and porn groups on the web; how to reconcile fantasy with real-life desires; and how smart girls can maintain their own beauty standards when the people on screen seem impossibly buff, smooth, and surgically enhanced. Looking for authentic sex scenes? Thinking of sharing porn with a lover? Wonder which browser is safest for internet porn surfing? For answers and insight, zoom in on The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn.
In The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn, acclaimed sex educator Violet Blue offers hip, friendly, and knowledgeable advice on bringing porn into your sex life: how to find porn you’ll like, from favorite turn-ons and women-friendly DVDs to Podcasts and porn groups on the web; how to reconcile fantasy with real-life desires; and how smart girls can maintain their own beauty standards when the people on screen seem impossibly buff, smooth, and surgically enhanced. Looking for authentic sex scenes? Thinking of sharing porn with a lover? Wonder which browser is safest for internet porn surfing? For answers and insight, zoom in on The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn.
192 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2006
About the author
Violet Blue
77 books248 followersViolet Blue has authored and edited over 40 books, including five (Bronze, Silver and Gold) IPPY award-winners, some of which are now in eight translations. Violet was a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show, when Ms. Winfrey featured Violet's book on women and pornography (11/17/09). That book is also excerpted and featured on Oprah Winfrey's website, as well as in O, The Oprah Magazine.
Violet owns and operates Digita Publications (digitapub.com), an indie digital publisher of e-books and audio books. Rather than a royalty system, Digita books share all sales with the authors fairly and transparently, featuring books in both DRM-free versions and for Kindle on Amazon.
Her online sexuality blog, Tiny Nibbles, is one of the Internet's longest-running sex blogs, and has won many accolades and awards. For her day job, Ms. Blue is a journalist on hacking, crime, cybersecurity, privacy, and at-risk populations for outlets ranging from Engadget to CNET, and occasionally outlets like CBS News, CNN and O the Oprah Magazine.
Violet owns and operates Digita Publications (digitapub.com), an indie digital publisher of e-books and audio books. Rather than a royalty system, Digita books share all sales with the authors fairly and transparently, featuring books in both DRM-free versions and for Kindle on Amazon.
Her online sexuality blog, Tiny Nibbles, is one of the Internet's longest-running sex blogs, and has won many accolades and awards. For her day job, Ms. Blue is a journalist on hacking, crime, cybersecurity, privacy, and at-risk populations for outlets ranging from Engadget to CNET, and occasionally outlets like CBS News, CNN and O the Oprah Magazine.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
April 20, 2009
Okay, I don't normally add "this kind of book" to my goodreads record. My parents read this. My parents' friends read this. But every now and then there's a "this kind of book" that is not only sexy, but important. I'm only 40 pages in and I'm a different person.
Would be more aptly titled "The Smart Guide to Porn": this is addressing concerns that any viewer or potential viewer could have (but isn't it degrading? sexist? racist? what about those fingernails?), and like Guide to Getting It On it's written in a really fun, occasionally hilarious way, with a lot of common sense: porn is just another sex toy; degredation is in the eye of the beholder; if you like something there's no reason to feel ashamed about it; have fun isn't sex awesome!
Update:
Violet Blue, why couldn't you have ended this book on page 50?
This read like a lot of the books I read in college: fantastic, well-intentioned essays that someone convinced the right person could be stretched into book length. Maybe it's not meant to be read cover to cover. Maybe you're supposed to check out the table of contents and be all "hentai! Tell me more. I'll skip that section on the gays, though, and the online communities, and bdsm or whatever." Some paragraphs are nearly verbatim of paragraphs she's written earlier.
Other ways we can make fun of this book:
* I don't know what Blue thinks the definition of "erstwhile" is, but it doesn't correlate with what you'll find in a dictionary.
* If you know what email is, you may find the section on how to use the internet a tad patronizing. (Header: "RSS Or PMS?" . . . Seriously?)
* I'm intelligent. I'm old enough to be viewing pornography. Can I be a woman now? (I know, I know. There are plenty of annoying Facebook notes out there copy/pasted by twenty-two year-olds decrying the overly common use of "girl". But then maybe you start hearing things you didn't notice before -- forty-year-olds still referring to themselves as children, fifty-year-olds. When do you draw the line?) (Louis CK says you're not a "woman" until someone has emerged from your uterus and trampled on your dreams.) (Hah!) (Seriously though. I say the word is awesome and sexy, and we certainly have the right to be rocking that term by the time we're paying rent and comparing the highlighted per pound prices at the supermarket.)
That all said: there are so few resources out about this in published form. And I'll be honest: the world of pornography is not a world I really understand. At first I thought that made me better than other people, but lately I've just been feeling left out, like when all the other girls started getting boyfriends and I was still all "ewwww kissing is grosssss!" And part of me thought "well, probably, that's not true. But I'm terrified of it anyway."
So I think it's important for this book to exist. It made something formerly intimidating seem approachable and potentially fun: and if that's not an awesome accomplishment, I don't know what is.
I just! wish that it had been really, truly rad, with proper punctuation and careful editing and maybe some interviews with porn stars or directors or hey even some references cited, like a freaking tour de force of pornography advocation so that I could give it five freaking stars and tell everyone in the whole freaking world to read it, and then we could all be enlightened, crazy, love nuts, lying down together in Paradise in the Garden of Love in the Garden of Delights and couple together like a train like a chain reaction a chain-letter-of-love around the world on hot nights. That'd be pretty great.
Would be more aptly titled "The Smart Guide to Porn": this is addressing concerns that any viewer or potential viewer could have (but isn't it degrading? sexist? racist? what about those fingernails?), and like Guide to Getting It On it's written in a really fun, occasionally hilarious way, with a lot of common sense: porn is just another sex toy; degredation is in the eye of the beholder; if you like something there's no reason to feel ashamed about it; have fun isn't sex awesome!
Update:
Violet Blue, why couldn't you have ended this book on page 50?
This read like a lot of the books I read in college: fantastic, well-intentioned essays that someone convinced the right person could be stretched into book length. Maybe it's not meant to be read cover to cover. Maybe you're supposed to check out the table of contents and be all "hentai! Tell me more. I'll skip that section on the gays, though, and the online communities, and bdsm or whatever." Some paragraphs are nearly verbatim of paragraphs she's written earlier.
Other ways we can make fun of this book:
* I don't know what Blue thinks the definition of "erstwhile" is, but it doesn't correlate with what you'll find in a dictionary.
* If you know what email is, you may find the section on how to use the internet a tad patronizing. (Header: "RSS Or PMS?" . . . Seriously?)
* I'm intelligent. I'm old enough to be viewing pornography. Can I be a woman now? (I know, I know. There are plenty of annoying Facebook notes out there copy/pasted by twenty-two year-olds decrying the overly common use of "girl". But then maybe you start hearing things you didn't notice before -- forty-year-olds still referring to themselves as children, fifty-year-olds. When do you draw the line?) (Louis CK says you're not a "woman" until someone has emerged from your uterus and trampled on your dreams.) (Hah!) (Seriously though. I say the word is awesome and sexy, and we certainly have the right to be rocking that term by the time we're paying rent and comparing the highlighted per pound prices at the supermarket.)
That all said: there are so few resources out about this in published form. And I'll be honest: the world of pornography is not a world I really understand. At first I thought that made me better than other people, but lately I've just been feeling left out, like when all the other girls started getting boyfriends and I was still all "ewwww kissing is grosssss!" And part of me thought "well, probably, that's not true. But I'm terrified of it anyway."
So I think it's important for this book to exist. It made something formerly intimidating seem approachable and potentially fun: and if that's not an awesome accomplishment, I don't know what is.
I just! wish that it had been really, truly rad, with proper punctuation and careful editing and maybe some interviews with porn stars or directors or hey even some references cited, like a freaking tour de force of pornography advocation so that I could give it five freaking stars and tell everyone in the whole freaking world to read it, and then we could all be enlightened, crazy, love nuts, lying down together in Paradise in the Garden of Love in the Garden of Delights and couple together like a train like a chain reaction a chain-letter-of-love around the world on hot nights. That'd be pretty great.
October 14, 2007
A good start for those out there who have never/are afraid to break into the glorious world of porn. For those of us looking for something more, this is not the book for us. Already know what 'girl-on-girl' means? Pretty sure where your clit is? Move on, move on.
Read
June 10, 2012“Looking for authentic sex scenes? Thinking of sharing porn with a lover? Wonder which browser is safest for Internet porn surfing? The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn has the answers.”
In a casual, fun tone, sex educator Violet Blue breaks down the considerable mythology surrounding porn and porn usage. While never denying the current problems of the porn industry, Blue helps the reader navigate buying and using erotic imagery that they will enjoy. The author helps to legitimize porn use, reassuring the reader that they won’t turn into a compulsive masturbator, an addict, or a predator after flipping on the latest AVN-approved flick. Moreover, Blue encourages higher standards and open communication: she talk about smart shopping to try to avoid whatever the viewer finds a turn-off, whether it be fake breasts or terrible music, letting the consumer vote with their wallet as to what they want to see in their porn. She also provides a list of online porn review forums, to both help lessen the stigma of enjoying porn, and of talking about enjoying porn. Blue wrote this book with women in mind, but The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn is arguably a recommended book for anyone looking to upgrade and refine their porn experience.
In a casual, fun tone, sex educator Violet Blue breaks down the considerable mythology surrounding porn and porn usage. While never denying the current problems of the porn industry, Blue helps the reader navigate buying and using erotic imagery that they will enjoy. The author helps to legitimize porn use, reassuring the reader that they won’t turn into a compulsive masturbator, an addict, or a predator after flipping on the latest AVN-approved flick. Moreover, Blue encourages higher standards and open communication: she talk about smart shopping to try to avoid whatever the viewer finds a turn-off, whether it be fake breasts or terrible music, letting the consumer vote with their wallet as to what they want to see in their porn. She also provides a list of online porn review forums, to both help lessen the stigma of enjoying porn, and of talking about enjoying porn. Blue wrote this book with women in mind, but The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn is arguably a recommended book for anyone looking to upgrade and refine their porn experience.
February 1, 2011
I've had my hopes up for Violet Blue, but so far I'm not very impressed with this book. It's mostly information I already know, flecked with encouragement and moral validation I don't need. Also, sometimes a good point gets lost in that moral exploration. "Women Fantasize about Fucking, Not about Shopping," presented about 3 lines on that subject before slipping into 4 paragraphs asking what sexual arousal is. This could be good for some people who are absolutely new to the concept of porn and strange sex and need the support. However, even so, it could be better written. After this, I think I'll stick to Violet Blue's erotica collections.
July 3, 2015
Though most of this information was not new to me, I enjoyed reading it as a comprehensive overview. It's a quick, casual, accessible, informative, humorous, and important read - an exploration of how porn can play a role in your sexuality, answering many questions or concerns you may have. I hope people who hold negative views of pornography will read it with an open mind and leave it with a better understanding. If you're not new to the topic, I would still recommend it. I find there's always something to learn in the pages of a book I haven't yet read, even if it's a subject I know a lot about. (For a guide specifically pertaining to your personal sexuality I recommend What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety.)
June 14, 2012
Review from Amazon.com:
Great for newcomers (excuse the pun)
This book is a great introduction for girls and women who are new to erotic media, and is a great resource for them. However, for those who are a bit (or a lot) more seasoned, the book might not be helpful. Intended for those who have had little to no previous interaction with erotic media.
A bit outdated, and contains (what seemed to me to be) shameless advertising: the author tends to push products that she herself is comfortable with, which is understandable, and very useful for women who have, again, little to no previous experience.
Still, I learned a few things I didn't know and got clarification on some things I have been wondering about.
Recommended for beginners; not recommended for those who already know their way around.
Great for newcomers (excuse the pun)
This book is a great introduction for girls and women who are new to erotic media, and is a great resource for them. However, for those who are a bit (or a lot) more seasoned, the book might not be helpful. Intended for those who have had little to no previous interaction with erotic media.
A bit outdated, and contains (what seemed to me to be) shameless advertising: the author tends to push products that she herself is comfortable with, which is understandable, and very useful for women who have, again, little to no previous experience.
Still, I learned a few things I didn't know and got clarification on some things I have been wondering about.
Recommended for beginners; not recommended for those who already know their way around.
March 28, 2014
I have always watched Porn during my adult life, but in doing so I have noticed it has always been directed towards men. Movies, magazines, adult stores ect... Always wanting to know why it was that way and what women could do about it?
After reading "The Girl's Guide to Porn" By Violet Blue. I was even more excited about shopping, viewing,the safe way to view porn on the net. She totally breaks down the world of porn, so you to can take control of your sexuality as a woman and experience porn from a womens point of view! About time! Loved it.
After reading "The Girl's Guide to Porn" By Violet Blue. I was even more excited about shopping, viewing,the safe way to view porn on the net. She totally breaks down the world of porn, so you to can take control of your sexuality as a woman and experience porn from a womens point of view! About time! Loved it.
August 21, 2009
This gets 5 stars for its bravery.
Blue not only gives straight women this honest and ethical look at the industry, but she goes further--setting out to reach porn's most ignored audience: smart girls. Nerdy girls need love too.
Blue not only gives straight women this honest and ethical look at the industry, but she goes further--setting out to reach porn's most ignored audience: smart girls. Nerdy girls need love too.
January 27, 2008
Disturbingly lacking in any substantial or thoughtful critique of the porn industry. But as a general guide, A+.
January 2, 2008
the title says it all. except she does do a lot of explaining about why its ok for women to watch porn, and i expect women who pick this book up already know that.
March 26, 2009
very funny. And a bit informative
May 29, 2010
Thought there wouldn't be a book really worth reading about porn, well I was wrong.
February 27, 2008
Lots of good tips and how to's, plus I love her style
January 24, 2012
Would have liked more recommendations, although it does inspire the urge to run out and get porn.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews