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If We Could Go Back

(Camassia Cove #6)

4.51  ·  Rating details ·  516 ratings  ·  149 reviews
My sister asked me if I could stand the sight my own reflection, if I’d caused enough damage yet, but I didn’t see myself when I looked into the mirror. I saw Kieran standing behind me, pressing a kiss to my shoulder while he undid my belt. I saw everything I wanted that I couldn’t have. Not unless I was prepared to hurt everyone around me.

Kieran was in a similar situatio
ebook, 351 pages
Published April 29th 2019 by Self
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4.51  · 
Rating details
 ·  516 ratings  ·  149 reviews

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Apr 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: arc, favourite-author, m-m

"You're my 'if I could just have one more day ' person.You know what I mean?"

This is totally my thing.The angst,the feelings.This is definitely my favourite book by Cara Dee.Kudos to her for writing this because this won't be for everyone at all.

The blurb kind of touches on things with the word deceit but I still wasn't prepared how powerful this story would be.

Here goes.....cheating.There I've mentioned it but before you dismiss this and go running for the hills it's important to underst
5++++ Stars

This story was both controversial and very heartfelt. It's not for everyone, but I loved it!!

Two unhappily married men meet on a train. Unhappily married because one has an absentee wife and the other is gay but married to a woman who knows he’s gay. They become friends than lovers who eventually fall in love. Life gets…complicated. So yes, this story is about two men cheating on their wives. Not a fairy tale romance, but a romance nonetheless. I found myself rooting for and not rese
**** 5 Incredible Stars ****

I don't know what to say about this story, other than I LOVED IT.
The wrongness of it pushed all my buttons. It's life as merciless, tough and complicated as it comes but it's told in a wholehearted, cosy and warm tone. And there is this cadence of intimacy, pulsing, or resonating, I don't know... constantly *swoon* 💘. Therefore, when the author shows us sweet moments full of tenderness, (like Dads being Dads and Mums) it shines so brightly and it gave so much joy and
"We met on the way."

I've been asked just how well If We Could Go Back stands alone, among the Camassia Cove series, so I'll address that first. It stands alone very well. Cara Dee is pretty good about keeping her stories self contained, even though there are character crossovers in her books. Camassia Cove isn't that big, so it's no surprise that characters from one book will wander through some of the others. Even still, If We Could Go Back stands alone better than most.

Neither Bennett, n
I believe I've said this before, but I honestly think that Cara Dee thinks of different taboo scenarios for couples to start under, and then builds her story lines around them. And while meeting when both MCs are married isn't exactly original, I still couldn't put this book down.

So let's address the elephant in the room. I don't condone cheating. My husband and I both know that it would be a deal breaker for us. But that's real life. For me, as a romance reader, I can stomach it a bit more in
May 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019, m-m, favorites
5 If We Could Go Back… Stars

You can never make up for lost time.
All you can control is where the first ends and where the second begins.

Well, Cara Dee is one of my fave authors and this book is my new favorite of her works so far! Such a wonderful read! I’m so glad I went into it blind because I’m sure if I knew the plot before reading I wouldn’t read it and I wouldn’t enjoy it this much. of course, I’d read the blurb and it made me more curious. (view spoiler)
Apr 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
I've been pondering for ages just how to review this book.

Do I focus on the brilliant way Cara Dee makes you root for a couple who are breaking a romance taboo?

Do I focus on the narrative which takes you on a five-year journey from tentative friendship, through to genuine affection and into a deep-rooted forever love?

Do I focus on how life isn't black and white but made up of various shades of grey, some much darker than others, and how Bennett and Kieran struggled throughout their affaires de
Optimist ♰King's Wench♰
Everything was black- and- white until you grew up and saw gray everywhere.

I could go on and on about this book but the bottom line is, despite the circumstances and the pain and anguish everyone experiences, I was captivated by Ben and Kieran's journey. Though I will say- conservative estimate-probably 50% of marriages that bust up over infidelity would likely be avoided altogether were the world a more tolerant place.

Be forewarned that there is a copious amount of pain dished out to varyin
If we could go back…
We will never go back.

Literally devoring a book because it triggers feelings from every direction is why reading is such a passion for me. And I found that with this addition to the Camassia Cove series that can be read as a standalone.

Bennett and Kieran are both in their early thirties, with a job, a house, a wife and kids. They go through life like everybody but does that mean they are whole, satisfied and are not, deep down, looking for more ?
Over a span of 5 years, B
Anyta Sunday
May 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This book is everything real.
I was blasted with FEELS.

A tough subject matter, but brilliantly executed.
*J* Too Many Books Too Little Time
4.5 Stars!

I wasn't completely sold on this one until some friend reviews started coming in. Generally, I don't like cheating in my books.

However, I guess I should clarify. I don't like when the two MCs cheat on each other. Apparently I am okay with them cheating on others to be together. *shrugs*

So yeah, I ended up liking this one a lot. It pretty much sucked me in from the get-go. It spans over quite a big time period and I really dug the progression of Kieran and Bennett's relationship.

Moony Eliver
3.5 stars. I enjoyed this book, although a bit less than many others did. During the first half, I was feeling a solid 4 stars, but the second half wasn’t as strong.

The characters, banter, story setup, and chemistry were really solid in the beginning. I wasn’t a big fan of the one-dimensionality of Bennett’s wife — that felt rather convenient. But the other elements were working for me, and the two main characters were downright flammable together.

But the latter half swapped out the good kind of
Melanie A.
May 07, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Melanie by: Lyn
Shelves: ku, lgbtq, m-m
4.5 STARS!
He brought me to life.

Cara Dee's laid-back yet 'truthful' writing style painted this story with some seriously heartfelt strokes. There was nothing I wanted more than for Bennett and Kieran to get their HEA.
We met on the way.
When Bennett and Kieran meet on the express train into Seattle, they're both at such unhappy places in their lives. Kieran's living a lie and Bennett's looking for meaning in the way his life has turned out. Both are married with children.
May 07, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Love love loved it! ♥♥♥ ...more
May 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
"The harsh reality of life is...
...that our happiness is rarely free. Someone always suffers for it."

Cara Dee is one of those authors who can take even the most challenging issue and create a story that's both interesting and thought provoking and she's more than done that with 'If We Could Go Back'.

'If We Could Go Back' is essentially told from Bennett's point of view covering a period of about 5 years beginning with that first day on the commuter train going to Seattle when Kieran boarded an
May 08, 2019 rated it it was amazing
4.5 ⭐

I loved the honesty of this book. Which I know may seem strange since there was a lot of dishonesty going on but Ben and Kieran didn’t pull punches with each other.
And even though this story spans five years and for some of that time they were apart it never felt like time was being wasted. It felt like every moment, every word mattered.
And to me it was written in a way that left no room for judgement. This is real life folks. And in real life shit happens. And sometimes it’s messy. And I
A second chance to have a new beginning..

3.75 stars
2 unhappily married men cross paths on a train. They start a friendship that sends them on a whole new course.
Did I like this story? Well it was something different.
What I liked: The relationship the men had with their children were solid. They always put their children first. They loved them and they were part of their lives. I did dig the angst (view spoiler)
How I loved this.. It's about a difficult topic. Infidelity. And what it does to people around us. Infidelity is a hard topic for me personally but I still wanted to give this is a try.

We can't always direct our feelings. They come upon us. But we do have the power to act on them or not. Bennet & Kieran acted on them and made a mistake because of the position they were in.

"The harsh reality of life is that our happiness is rarely free. Someone always suffers for it.”

"We like to talk about
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5 gazillion stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I don't know what to say really, apart from this book was Utter Perfection. Days after finishing it I can't stop thinking about it and even after returning to to KU I went and downloaded it again to re-read segments from it. That about sums up just how bloody blown away I was with the story, the characters, the writing, the angst, the feels .... everything.

Best book of 2019 by a million miles.
May 02, 2019 rated it really liked it
*4.5 stars*
4.5 Stars

I waffled over my rating for this because the first half of the book was agita inducing and almost crossed the boundary of continuing too long. I mean, I knew what I was getting into but only to a point. If you’re not clear about it from the blurb, there is cheating. I’m not a fanatic about monogamy in books but this is “I can’t get past this, I hate these guys, why am I still reading about these a$$holes” cheating. But the magic of Cara Dee is her ability to write intensely human, deep
Sanaa Z.
Apr 27, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019, arc, m-m
4.5 stars.

You can never make up for lost time. All you can control is where the first ends and where the second begins.

I'm going to be honest here, I was so hesitant to read this book. I do not like cheating. At all. I gave this a chance because I don't know what people's stories are so I wanted to give this a fair chance like any other book.

Bennett and Kieran's story spans a few years - which I'm slowly starting to love - and it follows them with their family and together. Let me just s
Elsa Bravante
May 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Me ha gustado muchísimo, de lo mejor que he leído últimamente, y sin duda alguna, de lo más interesante.
Sé que Cara Dee tiene muchos fans, pero conmigo lo tenía difícil, he leído varios libros de ella, pero ninguno me ha terminado de convencer del todo, así que empecé la lectura de este por las buenas críticas, pero con muchas dudas. La trama se presenta interesante, dos hombres casados que se enamoran, y aquí viene lo interesante, dos personas ya comprometidas en una relación que ven de repente
Randomly picked this book up and it was okay. This is a m/m romance that follows these two men: Kieran and Bennet. I have a thing about cheating guys... I don’t like reading books about cheaters and these guys are both married to women and they have kids, and as much as I enjoyed the romance it kind of rubbed me the wrong way. It wasn’t a one-time thing either, it was on-going cheating and that aspect of the story was just not okay with me.

I like that this book takes place in Seattle because I
May 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
From the moment I started reading this, I didn't want to put it down.

I loved Bennett and Kieran. Despite the situation they found themselves in and the decisions they made, I still thought of them as genuinely nice, caring people and wonderful fathers.
The relationship they had with their children was one of the most beautiful parts.

Although it was heartbreaking at times, I absolutely loved reading their story. The depth of emotions the author brought out in them was amazing. Each of them stru
May 01, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book put me through the wringer.
Spanning five years, Bennett and Kieran’s story is a complex one. Meeting on a train one day during their commute to work, they strike up a friendship and it goes from there. There is drama aplenty, mainly due to both men being married with children. There are secrets and lies and they try to hide their feelings, but as the saying goes...”the heart wants what it wants” and these two young men have to give in to the inevitable.
While hard to read in parts - y
Apr 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
First of all, I loved this story of hope and faith and love and second chances and heartbreak. But, I will provide a caveat...this probably isn't the book for everyone. Cara Dee has become one of my must read, one click authors, so I didn't even read the blurb before I delved right in. I'm not one for books with cheating. Honestly, that was a major part of this story. If you can get past that, this book is superbly written and angst filled and worth every ounce of guilt that the MC's had.

This i
May 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
En estos momentos no sé muy bien qué decir, acabo de apagar el Kindle y se me pasan 300 cosas por la cabeza, solo que lo leáis, que conozcáis a Kieran y Bennet, y que les escuchéis, que no os van a dejar indiferente. Y aunque es “hot af”, lo que ha pesado aquí han sido los sentimientos, la vida...

Creo que es uno de los libros más bonitos que he leído últimamente, o al menos a mí me ha llegado, hacía tiempo que no me emocionaba así con una lectura, y encima no me lo esperaba para nada, que con la
May 11, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: m-m
3.5 stars!

I really loved Bennett and Kieran, they were great together.

Eye rolling goes to .... all other married or divorced guys were gays. Really? This was totally unrealistic!!!
Ula'ndi Hart
Overall book rating: 4.5
Audio Book: N/A
Book Cover: 4

This is what I felt like for most of the duration of this book.

Seeing the crash coming from a mile off, but not being able to look away.

I predict that there will be a whole bunch of people who will skip this book solely on the fact that it clearly covers a big Taboo subject. Cheating.

That being said, I am really glad that I didn’t join that group this time around. Because this book.... This book is just so good.

This book, is about the Grey are
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I'm often stoically silent or, if the topic interests me, a chronic rambler. In other words, I can discuss writing forever and ever. Fiction, in particular. The love story—while a huge draw and constantly present—is secondary for me, because there's so much more to writing romance fiction than just making two (or more) people fall in love and have hot sex. There's a world to build, characters to d

Other books in the series

Camassia Cove (7 books)
  • Home (Camassia Cove, #1)
  • Sleepless (Camassia Cove, #1.5)
  • When Forever Ended  (Camassia Cove, #2)
  • Path of Destruction (Camassia Cove, #3)
  • Inappropriately Yours (Camassia Cove #4)
  • Uncomplicated Choices (Camassia Cove, #5)
“I didn’t, for the record. American football was dreadfully tedious and boring. Five minutes on the clock could last a fucking hour with all the breaks and commercials” 0 likes
“The truth isn’t worth everything, Ben.” 0 likes
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