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I Never Said I Loved You

4.26  ·  Rating details ·  303 ratings  ·  39 reviews

'I Never Said I Love You is one of the most electric, enchanting, engrossing and energising memoirs of self-harm, self-loathing, grief, eating disorders, suicide - and sex - that you will read.'
The Sunday Times

'Indecently entertaining... one of the most uplifting and eccentric memoirs I have ever read.' Observer

'Brutally honest and relentlessly funny.' Adam Kay, author of

Kindle Edition, 320 pages
Published August 6th 2019 by Headline
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Average rating 4.26  · 
Rating details
 ·  303 ratings  ·  39 reviews

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Chloe Fowler
Aug 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing
For months I've been seeing the chosen people (agents, journalists, writers) on Twitter, giving this all the raves. I've had it on order for longer than that. I loved his Guardian column 'Inspect A Gadget' (even before 'the egg one') and basically I just love the way Samadder writes. I voyeur on Twitter.

I finally got my humble Kindle copy on Monday. Huzzah!

I've read a few books recently that deal with masculinity, mothers and mental health (Ocean Vuong's 'On earth we're briefly gorgeous', David
Nikita Gill
Aug 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing
A heartbreaking and beautiful book that is effortlessly amusing and compelling. Rhik Samadder is an exceptional writer and I feel so fortunate to have read this gorgeous book. Could not recommend it more highly.
Oct 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
One of the best memoirs I've read this year! Wait how many memoirs did I read this year? Anyway... loved it
Aug 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobooks
I'm so glad I decided to listen to the audiobook, rather than reading this: it is deeply moving, sometimes very upsetting, and dotted throughout with touches of humour which make it both easier and more painful. The author's voice adds his humanity, his courage, his sadness. This is not a book to listen to whilst driving: it is a book for which to set time aside. It is not a book about depression, but rather an account of the ongoing attention needed by some of us in living life as well as we ...more
I read the introduction and part of the first chapter, about 12 pages in total. I’m not sure how I’d heard about this or why I thought I wanted to read it. I guess it sounded like it would be an amusing family memoir that employed humor as well as pathos when dealing with serious subjects like depression. I’d never heard of the author, though (a broadcaster and Guardian columnist), so I had no specific interest in his life story and the writing had nothing to recommend it.
Laura Addis
Oct 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Gripping, moving and surprisingly funny

I read this because a friend of mine suffers from depression and I wanted to know more about how it feels. This felt very honest, raw and painful at times but I was surprised at how funny and even hopeful it was at the same time. I would certainly recommend it.
Oct 17, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This memoir is painfully honest about sexual abuse and it's impact on the author's mental health. It's not the sort of thing I would normally read, but I'm glad I did.

Each chapter describes how Rhik comes to terms with a different aspect of life and closes with a letter to a different person, saying things he wishes were said.

This is a powerful book and it made me laugh, a lot, despite the content.

Did I cry at the end? Maybe. But what he said about his mum at the end would make anyone cry.
Simon Howard
Oct 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is an unconventional autobiography by the journalist and actor Rhik Samadder, who I was only vaguely aware of as a Guardian columnist.

Samadder talks about his history of childhood sexual abuse and his lifelong struggle with mental illness. Samadder also talks a lot about his relationship with his mother over time, and the impact that his mental illness and adulthood revelation of his childhood abuse had on that relationship. He also talks about his romantic relationships and the effect of
Tanya Weaver
Aug 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
About the darkness of depression but brilliantly funny and left me feeling uplifted and hopeful. Also, nice to see someone else taking an unconventional path into journalism.
Oct 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
"For some reason, it's also seen as vain to be writing your memoirs when you're in your thirties and no one knows who you are."

I Never Said I Loved You is at once witty and excruciating.
Rhik Samadder's writing is fluent and dynamic, his story, intimate.In one word, brilliant.

I began this book, recordingpassages that enthralled me. They were ubiquitous. I stopped documenting for the sake of immersion in Samadder's narration.Okay, just a few more:

"Depressives are constantly advised to be more
Oct 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Brilliant book. So well written.
Mark O'Hagan
Sep 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Wow, what a book. A brutally honest and painful memoir, laced with laugh out loud humour, written by a supremely talented author. This one’s a keeper.
Kathryn Felton
Oct 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Devoured this book which is in every way one of the best memoirs you could ever hope to read. I cried at the end while on a plane while sat next to a complete stranger.
Incredible book, I highly recommend
Oct 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Great book.
Sep 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing
one of the biggest shocks in this book is calculating from scant clues how old rhik samadder actually is, gave me a full on a bus ride home

this is a painful and beautiful read - five stars fully deserved for a stroll around the mind of a top favourite writer


Emma Regan
Sep 12, 2019 rated it it was amazing
“I never said I loved you”, is, simply put, one of the best books I’ve ever read. I relished the incisive, intricate, delicate, warm, humorous and humane observations and character renderings. It was simultaneously a privilege and a source of inspiration to be privy to the inner workings of Rhik’s mind (I feel like we’re on a first name basis).
His honesty is brutal and absolute in its content and delivery and a gift to all of us those doubting our personal mental viability regardless and
Sep 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
Am still devastated by this weeks later
Sue Page
Jan 02, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Well this was worth the full retail price! Guardian gadget genius Rhik shows us the inside of his life, unflinchingly sharing his experience of depression, his struggle to connect with his family, and the impact he has had on those who loved him. In the hands of a less talented writer, this could easily be a dreary, self-indulgent, maudlin affair - but Rhik pulls out the absurd, the bizarre and the downright barmy aspects of his life and lets these enlighten and entertain, all the while breaking ...more
Nov 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This was excellent and a good read despite some very tough moments. It is a memoir of Rhik, I suppose in the mental health genre but also about trying to find a way of making a living that fits, and I hope that writing this book did and does. I think it was a realistic and redemptive story. Life is not simple, there are always loops and interplays and this book does all that. So thank you. It is about parents and how we always fail in a way as families, all of us, parents and children, about ...more
Sep 22, 2019 rated it liked it
Starting well but meandered on too much in the middle though the ending was better. Not the laugh a minute the reviews promised but who could have thought a book about depression would be a heap of giggles. It gave some insights into this horrible illness and few strategies for dealing with it but I continued to be irritated by our self absorbed author. I don't like autobiographies, like I don't like Musicals, and every time I read one (or go to a Musical) I think "what am I doing here".
Russell Blandamer
Dec 17, 2019 rated it it was amazing
As heartbreaking as it is hilarious

Sincere, insightful and above all relatable, this book is all the frivolous joy of Samaddder's articles, but placed into context in a way that hits with a sometimes breathtaking punch. The man behind the words is not at all what I expected, but I'm glad I got to know him a little by reading this, because in committing his own demons to paper he helps all of us deal with ours.
Matthew Tett
Jan 07, 2020 rated it really liked it
An extremely candid and heartfelt memoir. This is, in some ways, quite an exhausting read, such is Samadder’s use of language, not to mention his extraordinary life and the intensity in which he writes about what he has been through. It is also a dazzling account of his battle with depression and how he has got to where he is today.
zoe marie haycox
Nov 01, 2019 rated it did not like it
I suffer with depression. An anxiety but found this book boring and not at all how it feels it was hard reading an skipped pages just to get to the end not sure what all the fuss was about had high hopes after reading reviews but was deeply disappointed
Claire Stewart
Jan 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I love Rhik. I love this book. Depression, grief, childhood sexual abuse, self harm, break ups, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, the lot... but so full of heart and humour. It’s funny as hell. Trust me. More please.
Aug 28, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shame I couldn't rate this 4.5. Beautiful account of one mans struggle with depression, interspersed with witty one liners.
Kate Wyver
Sep 14, 2019 rated it really liked it
Beautiful beautiful writing. V sad and funny and ultimately full of appreciation for the little things. I like the guardians description as "indecently entertaining"
Shree Mandal
Dec 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Oct 15, 2019 rated it did not like it
I could not get into this book at all. I do not like his style or writing unfortunately.
Oct 05, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: hardback
Moving and (obviously) sad.
Jan 02, 2020 rated it really liked it
First book of 2020 - this memoir of a life spent battling mental illness somehow manages to still be very hopeful and even funny.
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