The Reclusive Writer & Reader of Bandra: Essays

by Fiza Pathan

As for me, if it were not for you (Papa), never would I have been to the places I have been and done the things I have done, which have shaped me into the writer, teacher, and reader I am. One might say Fiza Pathan's father started her on a path toward books. He wanted a boy child and got a girl, and as a result, Fiza went to live with her mother and uncle at her grandmother's house. This book of personal essays documents the relationship Fiza Pathan has had with the many libraries, secondhand bookshops, boutique bookstores, and writing haunts that have made her into the writer, publisher, and teacher she is today. Fiza believes that she is an amalgamation of the books she has read over nearly twenty-seven years and the places that have provided her with excellent reading material. As we journey along with her, we notice how her life intersects with these places--we not only learn about the place, but about Fiza herself. Her struggles in life. Her start as an only child who loved comics. The teenager who escaped social awkwardness literally by hiding out in the library of her school and entering worlds distant from her own in the form of books. The twentysomething who frequented book boutiques that provided hot drinks and excellent people-watching opportunities. These pages describe the places in Mumbai that have made Fiza into the book lover she is--into the person she is. Her recollections are nostalgic and emotional as she grapples with her relationship to her estranged father, the father who rejected her because she was a girl child. Places have a way of making us into the people we become, and we take them along with us wherever we go. But what if all of those places are libraries, bookshops, and writing huts? What if you have used these places as launching pads to get to destinations beyond what you can see--places in your mind. And what if these places within you have defined the recluse you are--the recluse who has actually lived a thousand lives.

184 pages, Paperback

Published December 9, 2018

About the author

IMP: If you are an indie-author & wish to contact me for written or live interviews on my blogs & websites then contact me here - pathan.fiza@gmail.com
or you can text me on 9820763499.

I will then get back to you ASAP.

I also review books already published & in ARC form (pdfs are fine) especially of indie-writers. You can message or text about the same to me via the above given details. Messaging on Goodreads is coming to an end, period. I am also on X, LinkedIn, Fable & StoryGraph, feel free to join me there.

Fiza Pathan is a Roman Catholic born on the 19th of March 1989 and is from Mumbai, India.

Fiza has written and published seventeen award-winning books and short stories, which reflect her interest in furthering the cause of education and in championing social issues. In over seventy literary competitions, she has placed either as winner or finalist, chief among them being: 2020 DBW Awards; 2020 Writer's Digest Self-Published E-Book Awards; 2018 DBW Awards; Killer Nashville 2018 Silver Falchion Award; 2018 IAN Book of the Year Awards; 2018 Book Viral Millennium Book Awards; Readers’ Favorite Book Awards; Reader Views Literary Awards; Eric Hoffer Book Award; Foreword Reviews Indie Fab Book Awards; Mom’s Choice Awards; Literary Classics Book Awards; and Dan Poynter’s Global E-Book Awards. She established her own niche publishing company called Fiza Pathan Publishing OPC Private Limited where she publishes Rare Classics for younger readers.

She has been contributing articles, book reviews, parabolic stories, and theological essays to various Catholic Magazines for the past 16 years. She has been associated with ‘The Examiner’ which is a reputed Catholic newsweekly of India for the past 16 years. In recognition of her various literary achievements as a young Catholic writer, she has recently received the first ever Bronze Pen Award from The Examiner at its 175th anniversary celebrations in the year 2024.

She also contributes theological articles and book reviews respectively to the ICM (Indian Catholic Matters) online magazine as well as ‘The Teenager Today’ which is run by the Catholic congregation of St. Pauls. She also contributed articles to ‘The Vision & Venture’ and ‘Word Power’ as a youth, both of which are Catholic monthlies.

Fiza Pathan is currently pursuing her Masters in Theological Studies from Pontifex University Atlanta, Georgia asynchronously. She also pursues additional theological courses at the Institute of Catholic Culture in Virginia through its online platform to improve her knowledge of authentic Catholic theology, philosophy, and literature. She is currently in the process of becoming a Consecrated Virgin for Christ.

She is also pursuing her Post Graduate Certificate In International Teacher Education (PGCITE) at Podar International School, Santacruz. She is being trained to teach grades 1 to 12 in the IGCSE & IB curricula. Her specializations will be in English Language, English Literature, Global Perspectives (GP), History, TOK & CAS.

She taught English Literature and History for a year at an ICSE school called Lilavati Bai Podar High School, Mumbai (2011-2012).

Fiza Pathan has a bachelor’s degree in arts from the University of Mumbai, where she majored in History and Sociology with a first class. She also has a bachelor’s degree in education, again with a first class, her special subjects being English and History.

She lives with her maternal family & her cat Lopez, and writes essays, book reviews, sketches, novels, and short stories in most genres. You may follow her on Twitter @FizaPathan and visit her blog insaneowl.com or her website fizapathansteachingportfolioforpgcite.com

Reviews

[Pam]

Short and sweet book. These short essays describe the author’s life in Mumbai. She’s had a full life for such a young woman. I enjoyed hearing about her background as a girl-child rejected by her father and his family for no other reason than being female. She and her mother have handled it gracefully. Ms. Pathan was raised by her mother in Bandra, a suburb of Mumbai. All very interesting.

Most GR readers could readily identify with the author’s love of libraries and bookstores and Mumbai seems to have many, many. Pathan is now not only a reader, teacher, and a writer, but owns her own small publishing house. This book is interesting as a memoir and a nice story of life in Mumbai.

[Wendy Hart]

A sweet and enjoyable read. With bare honesty, the author recounts a childhood shaped by the feeling of being unwanted. The upside of feelings of rejection led her to a love of literature. The author, through a series of essays, describes everyday scenes in locations such as libraries and bookstores. Pathan displays talent with her ability to paint word pictures so descriptively and vividly that the reader can see, feel, and hear the action. I commend the book.

[Vanessa M.]

Ms. Fiza Pathan's essays were a perfect read for me after encountering the intense interiority of Anita Brookner's novel and after Ernest Hemingway's acerbic short stories. Pathan's essays encompass the universal concepts of rejection, belonging, identity, a sense of place, and a sense of purpose. She highlights many libraries and bookshops where she developed her love of books and reading and blossomed into her roles as publisher, teacher and writer.

As a woman who also relied heavily on books in order to understand the world around me, Fiza's essays resonated with me.

Recommended for lovers of books, reading, and finding comfort in one's identity through them.

[Joy Lo-Bamijoko]

What a riveting read by a very eccentric author! The author’s command and use of the English language was so enthralling that I overlooked some of the weaknesses of this essay, especially the weakness of repetition. I cannot think of anything more painful than being born and being rejected by one of the parents because of some cultural preferences.

This rejection pushed the author to prove to others and especially to those who rejected her that a girl child can become a boy child. I liked it when I read that. In fact, she dedicated her life to giving herself the best education she can afford and immersed herself in reading and writing. I cannot believe how much she read or the quality of works she read; all classics! She wrote and won prizes upon prizes for her books and she took pride in imparting her knowledge to the youths.

She remained a lone and restless spirit through all of this. People read her stories, and some did not believe she is a living person. She lived among them and yet they did not know or recognize her. Such was the exclusive life she led.

This was a great read, beautifully written! But as I already said, even though I could understand the pain of rejection, I would have omitted the repetitions that referenced that rejection all through the book. I look forward to reading more of this author’s books.

[Teagan Geneviene]

Many of us know how it is to have a moment of feeling unwanted. A few of us know what it’s like to experience that at a profound, core level. Some of us keep those feelings stomped down, denied, ignored, carrying the weight of it for decades. This author has transformed her pain into a passion for reading, a love of books, libraries, and bookstores. The mark life has emblazoned on her heart became a light that shines in this collection of essays.
When I saw the word “reclusive” in the title, I knew I had to read this book. It was not about me expecting to like it or not, it was an intuitive reaction. Besides, calling me a recluse would be an understatement!
Even so, I always enjoyed meeting people who were different from me, hearing their stories, learning about their day-to-day life. Reading this book felt like visiting all the bookstores and other places the author mentions, not just with a friend, but with a friend whose true thoughts you got to see.

Ms. Pathan paints the scenes simply yet vividly. Here’s one example.
“The women who sit at the temple’s entrance with their cows now know me well, and look at each other when I carry off a jute bag full of books to the waiting taxi.”

I could see, hear, and smell that scene. This book is very well written. I don’t say that lightly. Remember I had a long career as an editor, working for senior-level executives. It’s also personable. Despite the pain it conveys, it is also imbued with the warmth of this author’s personality.
I freely recommend this book.

[Khushali Samriya]

Beautifully written and a great read.
She has made her mundane life sound so interesting that I could see, hear and the scene while reading.

There were lot of repetitions of the rejection the author has faced which became overwhelming for me.

[Ronald E Yates]

From Mumbai with Honesty & Passion
“My father didn’t want me because I was a girl.”
That’s the first line in Fiza Pathan’s fabulous collection of 19 essays about coming of age in a suburb of Mumbai—otherwise known to most westerners as Bombay, India.
It’s an unadorned declaration, but Fiza Pathan’s brutally honest and often waggish memoir, The Reclusive Writer & Reader of Bandra: Essays, is full of blunt statements.
So what’s a little girl to do when even as a toddler she realized her father didn’t want her and moved out of the Bandra West home?
As soon as she could read, Fiza found the father she never had in books and the bookstores and libraries that housed them. Books became her ersatz family, her friends, her confidants, and her passion.
“The library was my fortress of old British stone,” she writes. “Just like the school was a bastion against the French in the nineteenth century and against the revolting Indians during the Mutiny of 1857, the stone edifice was like the father I did not have. It protected me from other students, teachers, and the drudgery of school life in 1990-2000s Mumbai. Now I’m twenty-nine, running my own tutorial, the director of a niche publishing firm, and a writer.”
The question I had when reading Fiza Pathan’s essays was this: As much as she fell in love with authors, books, and the places that stockpiled them, was she happy and fulfilled as a person?
I am not about to pass judgment or to answer that question. Only Fiza Pathan can do that. But her excellent essays seem to offer a clue to her state of mind and the choices she has made with her life.
Here are a few random snippets from the book:
“My world is simple, economic, and very much devoted to contemplation,” she writes. “I teach, write, and publish my stories, but still remain distant and anonymous. My Mumbai is different. My Mumbai is unique. My Mumbai resides in places of solitude, where librarians stir their cups of tea with their index finger while I gaze at the new books and some old favorites lined up on the shelf.
“Books are my life. If I was a man, books would have been my wife. Where I find books, there I go. Where I can write more books, there I remain. In the middle of all this chaos is my garden, which I tend to; music, which I occasionally listen to on my Bose speaker; and aromatic therapy, which helps me with a breathing problem. I have severe sleep apnea.
“I rarely go out, unless it’s for research or it’s to a bookshop/library. I’m sure I would be very happy to be locked up in a single room for the rest of my life as long I was given a Kindle Fire with unlimited battery power and billions of rupees to spend on buying Kindle books. I would spend my entire life just sitting there in that room, reading. Just give me food, water, and a clean English toilet with running water on a regular basis, if you want me to survive. Otherwise, what is more glorious than to die next to a pile of books you were wanting to read?”
Ms. Pathan’s essays provide answers to a multitude of questions about who she is. Baptized in the Catholic Church, she seems only distantly religious. Nevertheless, she says the hut in which she writes is not only crowded with books, but a statue of St. Francis of Assisi watches her back as she writes.
“For the love of God, I hope one day, he doesn’t start talking to me. I hate Gods who talk; they are better off quiet as the grave,” she says.
Ms. Pathan is a clever and sharp-witted woman. Those attributes are on full display in her writing. She handles the English language with both respect and aplomb. Her style is easy and engaging. But most of all, her essays—which in essence are mini-memoirs—are filled with candor. She hides nothing—not even the most personal minutiae.
Her descriptions of Mumbai, Bandra West, the bookstores, libraries, and the schools she attended on her way to earning a bachelor’s degree in history and sociology are detailed with and sprinkled with critical texture.
Her opinions about India and Indian culture—its caste system, its politics, its social mores—are not ham-fisted, but still presented with potency.
As for her father, Ms. Pathan has this to say:
“I don’t hate him. I don’t want anything from him. To me, he died the day I realized I was being sired by a single mother because I was a girl.”
There is little doubt that Ms. Pathan’s early life as a fatherless daughter has had an impact on her development as a person. But she has managed her disappointments with a strength of mind and resourcefulness that few people possess.
Ms. Pathan has authored 11 books, many of them award-winning. But most of all, she has a lot to say and I, for one, enjoyed listening. As they say in Mumbai: Cāṅgalē kāma!

[Robert Fear]

The best book I have read in a long time

Born in 1989, Fiza Pathan was an unwanted child. Her Muslim father had wanted a boy and broke up the family because of her birth. This cruel start had a huge influence on the way she grew up and developed in her single mother’s Catholic world.

These essays give a personal insight into her life journey until the age of twenty-nine, as she contemplates her first three decades on this earth. Her honesty and insightful commentary make for a fascinating read. The words are beautifully crafted, and the pages of my Kindle almost turned themselves.

Fiza’s story is full of books, books and more books. So much so that people come to call her a ‘book phoenix’. This obsession began at three years old when her godfather started buying her comics. Her fascination with these, even before she could read and write, gave her respite from the outside world and was the start of a life of introversion.

As the essays progress, they take us to the libraries and bookshops that influenced Fiza’s development. These range from the school and college libraries to the many bookshops around Mumbai where she spent much of her time reading and delving into a huge variety of genres. The descriptions of these places of peace and shelter are enchanting, and you feel you are there with her.

This journey through books is intertwined with insights into the emotions and turmoil that Fiza experiences. Even as she adds studying, teaching and writing to her repertoire, there is a desire to learn and achieve much more. Her quest for knowledge is immense.

It is only in the last essay we discover her dreams for the future as she approaches her thirtieth birthday. I had to check myself sometimes as I felt she was older than her physical years, having achieved so much in such a short time.

Fiza Pathan is already an accomplished author, having written twelve books. She has a great future ahead of her and I look forward to reading more of her work.

If you want to find out about this amazing woman’s life and experiences, then this is the ideal read for you. It comes with my highest commendation as it is the best book I have read in a long time.

[Sandeep]

The Reclusive Writer and Reader of Bandra essays - Fiza Pathan
Rating 2.75/5.

The book comprises of a series of essays written by Fiza Pathan. Fiza Pathan is born and raised in Mumbai. The essays revolve around various places in Mumbai, mostly libraries, bookstores and places where the author grew up, visited or continues to visit. Amidst this, Fiza also writes about herself and people in her life.

The writing is super simple and does not cause any overload to the brain whatsoever. There are minimal characters, limited areas of Mumbai, limited bookstores each one having its own charm. One thing I found common across all the chapters was Fiza mentioning as to how much time she spent reading in all the mentioned places.

She mentions library of Bombay Scottish School, St Andrews College, Crossword bookstore, KitaabKhana, Strand book house, across each essay she mentions that she has spent considerable amount of time reading various authors and genres.

After a point in time, I felt it turning stereotypical. But one thing I found amiss was any similarities between the happenings in any book she has read versus her life or daily happenings.

Mumbai happens to be a bustling city with many such used book store and thrift market and loads of readers. There is only a single mention of a bookstore selling used books which kind of seems contrast as author ends up buying new books when she seems to be short of cash, though there is lots of mention about lending libraries.

Out of curiousity I saw the goodreads ratings of the book and who all have rated 4 and above. Co-incidentally the people who have rated 4 and above are all author (or budding author) themselves! More food for thought.

I purchased this book as a used copy for INR 50 only. (which I suppose is 1/12th the listed price on Amazon). Overall an okayish light read!

Cheers,

[Balroop Singh]

The Reclusive Writer & Reader of Bandra by Fiza Pathan is an anthology of autobiographical essays that bring out author’s agony as well as passion but both the emotions blend so well in this book that you wonder whether one leads her to another. A girl child, who could hardly understand why she was shunned and abandoned by her father and his family, grew up with indelible scars on her psyche. It is ironic that those who believed in Jesus and his goodness could mock at this fatherless child who wondered why she was held responsible for living with a single mother.

Fiza converted her pain into passion for reading, books became her soul mates and libraries and bookshops her favorite retreats. It is her simple and honest style of writing that would keep you engrossed. There is an undercurrent of ache that is conspicuous when she shares her ecstasy of buying, reading, writing and publishing books. Even her love for life has been diluted into books and she finds delight in being a loner, with a bag full of books and a heart brimming with “printer’s black ink,” – a symbol that speaks volumes about her emotional wellbeing.

She is either unique or odd. She writes from the heart but doesn’t reveal all. She is still hurting but takes pride in her obsession with books. This book is more than just the story of one person’s life, as it makes a subtle comment on Indian society, religion and the values, which they live for.

[Beem Weeks]

The Reclusive Writer & Reader of Bandra: Essays by Fiza Pathan is at once heartbreaking and uplifting. The author shows within this wonderful collection of personal essays that life can be whatever you make of it. Through rejection by her father for the sin of being born female, to her own discovery of new friends found in the pages of books, Pathan shares the course she plotted for herself in this world.

These essays offer snippets from the life of the author. The reader is invited to tag along for the coming of age of a young woman dealing with a reality so many of us couldn’t possibly comprehend in our own insulated little corners of the world.

Pathan is an overcomer. She found her refuge in the bookstores and libraries of Mumbai, India. It is between the covers of many books that she found who she really can be—her true identity. And it is here, in this collection, that she lures us readers in for a glimpse of her world.

This book is beautifully crafted by an accomplished storyteller. Fiza Pathan’s style puts the reader right there beside her, listening to an incredible woman telling her own stories as only a true author can.

[Shirley]

As I started to get into the story, it struck me as to how much we take for granted. Clean running water, working and clean toilets, not worrying about a Tsunami. To the author this is everyday living. To me, I shake my head and thank God, that in my part of the country, we don’t have to worry about that.
Fiza Pathan loves the written word and immersing herself in books all day every day. I can relate because I grew up with my head buried in books as well. At first I thought that I wouldn’t get much out of her life which was all about reading and hitting libraries. How much can you get out of reading someone’s life story that only revolves around libraries and book hubs? But I did enjoy her story because Fiza made her life so exciting and exhilarating. She conveyed how happy she felt whenever she could park somewhere and just read. Those book hubs became her refuge.
She had to deal with a father who disowned her. She also had to deal with an intolerant society; lynchings; murders; suppression of the press and on and on. The only downside is, I don’t think she gave enough information about her personal self. I felt like something was missing.
The fact that she could weave a boring life into a book that I couldn’t put down is a testament to her easy writing style; and the humor she injected kept me smiling.
I give the author five (5) stars for a well written book.

[Billy Buttons]

This book was entered in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards. This is what our readers thought:
Title: The Reclusive Writer & Reader of Bandra
Author: Fiza Pathan

Star Rating: 4 Stars
Number of Readers: 16
Stats
Editing: 8/10
Writing Style: 9/10
Content: 7/10
Cover: 6/10
Of the 16 readers:
14 would read another book by this author.
10 thought the cover was good or excellent.
15 felt it was easy to follow.
14 would recommend this story to another reader to try.
Of all the readers, 10 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘writing style’.
Of all the readers, 6 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘subject knowledge/content’.
13 felt the pacing was good or excellent.
14 thought the author understood the readership and what they wanted.

Readers’ Comments
‘A fascinating look at this author’s life. I was particularly interested in the father and how he did not support her as she wasn’t a boy. Well-written and culturally interesting.’ Female reader, aged 42
‘A gripping read. Culturally, this is particularly interesting, in the way society looked on a girl with a single mother. The way she turned to books is refreshing although, I suspect, the hurt is still there, lingering.’ Female reader, aged 54
‘It saddens me that the father was so stupid – or is the word ignorant? Anyway, this girl discovered a father in books. A thoughtful read, well-constructed and always gripping. I enjoyed it.’ Female reader, aged 62
‘Slightly too repetitive in theme. Still, it’s insightful and culturally educational.’ Male reader, aged 44

To Sum It Up:
‘The fascinating story of a lost girl and her love of books.’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards

[Karen Ingalls]

Through a series of essays the author shares about her childhood, a father who disowned her because she was not a male, her passion for books and reading, and her desire for the best education. Her vast knowledge about different subjects was impressive. She has achieved recognition for her writings and books. I look forward to reading more of her books.
It was difficult for me to overlook the grammatical errors and repetition, yet I commend her for her efforts.

[Kunal]

A journey through the iconic book stores of Mumbai!

[Indrani Talukdar]

The Reclusive Writer & Reader of Bandra: Essays is a captivating journey through the author's life, showcasing her profound love for books, libraries, and the vibrant city of Mumbai. With a captivating narrative, the author takes us on a journey from her formative years at Bombay Scottish School to her introspective moments as a writer and avid reader. Through skilful storytelling, she brings to life the vibrant tapestry of her world.
The author skilfully transports readers to a world filled with nostalgia. Her vivid descriptions of the school library, Bandra's Turner Road, and her own cosy writing hut effortlessly transport readers back in time, immersing them in a world filled with wonder and tranquillity.
The author's vivid imagination is palpable as she paints a picture of herself engrossed in her writing, surrounded by a collection of books and energised by the comforting presence of a cup of tea. I was deeply moved by her appreciation for authors like Ruskin Bond and R.K. Narayan. It struck a chord with me, as I had the privilege of growing up in Dehradun and having the opportunity to meet Ruskin Bond multiple times. I can't help but ponder if the author would have relished an opportunity to share a similar encounter.
The essays provide insights into the vibrant literary world of Mumbai. This book is a heartfelt exploration of the author's admiration for beloved writers, her enchanting encounters in libraries, and her unwavering devotion to the written word. It is sure to strike a chord with readers who harbour a deep affection for the literature.
If you have a passion for reading, a fondness for Bombay, now Mumbai, or are in search of a captivating memoir, The Reclusive Writer & Reader of Bandra: Essays is a book that is sure to make a lasting impact.

[Mangalam Shiva]

Dear Fiza,
I enjoyed reading your book of essays and am attaching my review.


ONE WHO READS BOOKS LEADS MANY LIVES, WHILE ONE WHO DOES NOT, LEADS ONLY ONE LIFE.
Fiza Pathan has revealed the setbacks and achievements in her life in Mumbai. Her father did not want her because she was a girl. But the girl child withdraws herself and gets immersed in books.She discovers many new libraries, bookshops in Bandra west, the suburban of Bombay.
She searches and locates many bookshops, libraries, circulating libraries like TITLE WAVES, MCUBED, CROSSWORD,TRILOGY, GRANTH BOOK STORE, STRAND, KITAB KHANA AND WAYWARD & WISE. She finds books of varied subjects and immerses herself in reading.
I was living in Bombay for 40 years, and I started reading fictions at the circulating library ABBAS CIRCULATING LIBRARY, in King's Circle. Later I went to Starns book depot in Colaba and bought many new books.
Fiza finds solace in reading at all these libraries, many books of great authors. At a later stage, she starts writing stories, essays to express herself. Her uncle has been a great pillar of strength for her.
EVEN A GIRL CAN BE A SON TO HER FAMILY. She becomes a teacher and earns from her writings which support her family. She asserts that the libraries are 'THIS IS MY DUST, MY SWEAT AND MY BLOOD". She has achieved many laurels even at her younger age. Shivkumar wishes her a great success in her reading and writing careers in the coming years.
I would give her book of essays 5*****. Shivkumar.
22 hours, 23 min ago

[EnchantedCat]

Very personable and engaging narrative. I particularly enjoyed the descriptions of places and people.