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An Honest Man

Ben Fergusson (Goodreads Author)

4.26 · Rating details · 437 ratings · 63 reviews

In West Berlin in 1989, eighteen-year-old Ralf has just left school and is living a final golden summer with his three best friends. They spend their days swimming, smoking and daydreaming about the future, oblivious to the storm gathering on the other side of the Berlin Wall.

But an unsettling discovery about his family and a meeting with the mysterious Oz shatters everyth ...more

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Paperback, 384 pages

Published July 9th 2019 by Hachette Australia (first published July 4th 2019)

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Apr 03, 2020 AnnaLuce rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: 5-good-reads, my-feelings, 2020-reviews, audiobooks, lgbtqia

★★★★✰ 3.5 stars

In Ben Fergusson's An Honest Man our narrator Ralf revisits a particularly significant year in his life. The year is 1989 and Ralf is eighteen and lives with his family in West Berlin. Growing up in a bilingual household (his mother is English), Ralf has always felt like a bit of an outsider. In a few months him and his friends will part ways and go to separate universities (Ralf whose passion is geology plans to study in England). Until then they spend their days and nights relax ★★★★✰ 3.5 stars

In Ben Fergusson's An Honest Man our narrator Ralf revisits a particularly significant year in his life. The year is 1989 and Ralf is eighteen and lives with his family in West Berlin. Growing up in a bilingual household (his mother is English), Ralf has always felt like a bit of an outsider. In a few months him and his friends will part ways and go to separate universities (Ralf whose passion is geology plans to study in England). Until then they spend their days and nights relaxing: they go to the swimming pool, on nature excursions, drink together etc. Ralf's routine is interrupted by Oz, born to Turkish parents and a few years older than him.
As Ralf struggles to reconcile himself with his growing attraction, and feelings, towards Oz, he also learns that Oz is keeping tabs on one of his neighbours, Tobias Rose. When Oz asks him for help Ralf finds himself uncovering life-altering secrets. As Ralf's relationship with Oz deepens he is forced to question where is own loyalties lie, and who is willing to betray.

While the story does delve into espionage, the focus remains primarily on Ralf. His relationship with Oz sees him embarking on a journey of self-discovery. The approach of university also alters his perceptions about who he is and who he wants to become. When a shocking discovery jeopardises what little normalcy his life contained, Ralf becomes further enmeshed in a web of deceit.
The story is very much a coming of age. To begin with Ralf is a rather sheltered and somewhat naive boy, and as the story progresses, and he starts seeing with new eyes his family and friends, he becomes more of an adult.
Ben Fergusson portrays believably fallible characters. Ralf, somewhat understandably given that he has a lot to contend with, can be rather self-centred and bratty. More than once I experienced second-hand embarrassment at what he says or does. His relationship with Oz is filled with a young sort of longing, with plenty of awkward flirting (they talk about their favourite pasta shape) and even some tender moments. Oz's introverted nature lends him an air of mystery, and readers, alongside Ralf, will find themselves wanting to learn more about him.
Ralf's group of friends was also solidly depicted and we get to see how his relationship with each one of his friends differs. His friends all have their own backstory and clear-cut personalities.
Ralf's relationship with his family plays a big role in the narrative. Although we might not like or forgive Ralf's parents, Fergusson does give these characters some nuance.
What Fergusson truly excels at is brining West Berlin to life. The setting is vividly rendered, and Fergusson creates and maintains a rather bittersweet atmosphere. Ralf's narration is filled with youthful descriptions and observations. His narrative is sensuous, as he always seem to loose himself in the bodies of those around him (noting the way the light illuminates someone's hair or face).
The ending was a bit rushed for my taste, and part of me wished for a more satisfying confrontation between Ralf and certain other characters.
Although this is a slow-burn kind of story, I finished this novel in one day. Ralf's story is absorbing, and Fergusson examines complex themes in a compelling manner. If you enjoy coming of ages, books by John Boyne, or stories set in times of political divide (such as Confession with Blue Horses and Swimming in the Dark), chances are you will like this book.

Read more reviews on my blog / / / View all my reviews on Goodreads ...more

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Jul 05, 2019 Eric Anderson rated it it was amazing

Last year I went to visit Berlin for the first time over a long weekend. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a city that’s still so haunted by the after effects of war. Certainly there is more to this thriving city which is dynamic and fascinating in many ways but walking through the streets there are evident battle scars around every corner. Of course, it’s perfectly understandable that this would be the case because it was turned into a battlefield during WWII and then became a city literally divi ...more

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Jun 23, 2019 Susan rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I have enjoyed Ben Fergusson’s previous novels, “The Spring of Kasper Meier,” and “The Other Hoffman Sister,” so I was delighted to receive this for review. “An Honest Man,” is set in Berlin, during the summer of 1989, when friends Ralf, Stefan, Maike and Petra, spend the time hanging out and their involvement in conservation and nature; passing the time before they receive their exam results and move on to university.

Ralf is half-English and plans to go to the UK to study, which is unsettling h ...more

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May 25, 2020 Erik rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: lgbt

Ben Fergusson's "An Honest Man" reminds us that love can cause us to see with rose-colored glasses but it can also give us clarity to help us see what had been in front of us the whole time.

Ralfi is a freshly-graduated son of a British therapist and German pharmacist living in West Berlin in 1989 in the lead up to the fall of the Berlin Wall. In the summer before starting university he had hoped to grow closer with his friends and girlfriend, but his summer plans hit an abrupt snag when he falls ...more

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Aug 09, 2020 Mark rated it it was amazing

Ben Fergusson’s An Honest Man, is an absolutely multilayered, multi themed, provocative narrative set in 1989 at one of the most pivotal period’s in the modern history of Berlin, Germany, Europe and indeed the world. I remember being glued to the television as the Berlin Wall came down, mesmerised by the desperation and triumph symbolised by this event, and wondering what it truly meant for those whose lives had been defined by this foreboding barrier.

Against this backdrop we meet Ralf, a West B ...more

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Sep 26, 2019 Andrew Howdle rated it really liked it

This is a novel that keeps a reader guessing to the end and shows imagination and skill in equal amounts.

The novel is written from the present, but looks back to the months prior to November 1989 when the Berlin Wall fell. The story is built skilfully around a series of doubles. The narrator, Raif Dorsam, aged eighteen, is bisexual. His life is stretched between sexual reality and fantasy: his love for Maike Willert and his desire for Osman Ozemir-- the mysterious Oz. As with a mirror facing a m ...more

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Jan 07, 2021 Mark Kwesi Appoh rated it it was amazing

What a great way to start 2021! I really loved this unique, fabulously narrated story, including the audiobook‘s narrator.

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Oct 15, 2020 WeiLe rated it really liked it

4.5 stars
I'm thinking what should I write about this book. It's strange because I don't know what genre it fits in or I would say it's multi-genre. I don't find myself love it so much but I just can't help myself keep reading, why? Cuz it's good!?One thing I can assure is the good writing in this novel, the setting in Berlin and its theme is something new to me.

It sets in a 1989 over the summer in West Berlin, we follow Ralf and his friends spending the last few months together before off to th ...more

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Jul 02, 2019 Alan rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

‘And this might have been my lasting memory of summer 1989. Even that moment I might have forgotten, recalling only my A levels and the Wall if people asked what that year had meant to me. But of course, in the end, 1989 meant neither of those things. It just meant Oz, and espionage – how grand that word sounds now – and I suppose my family and the terrible things we did.’

Covering the tumultuous period of summer-winter of 1989 in West Berlin, Ben Fergusson’s new novel centres on 18-year-old Ralf ‘And this might have been my lasting memory of summer 1989. Even that moment I might have forgotten, recalling only my A levels and the Wall if people asked what that year had meant to me. But of course, in the end, 1989 meant neither of those things. It just meant Oz, and espionage – how grand that word sounds now – and I suppose my family and the terrible things we did.’

Covering the tumultuous period of summer-winter of 1989 in West Berlin, Ben Fergusson’s new novel centres on 18-year-old Ralf, his family and friends, and Oz, a part-time informant for the authorities who has been spying on the apartment block where Ralf’s family live. This is mostly a coming of age story, with an espionage subplot that weaves in and out of the events of Ralf and his family, before the book reaches a thrilling twist and a moving conclusion. The novel is narrated in first-person, with an older Ralf looking back on this period to understand what happened. Imagine ‘Deutschland 83’ meets ‘Call Me By Your Name’, with a little bit of ‘Stand By Me’ thrown in for good measure – that’s probably the best way I can describe the whole effect of this novel.

Ralf and his friends have just finished school – Ralf, with an English mother and German father, has been studying at an international school (hence the A-levels). His close-knit group of friends include Maike, Ralf’s erstwhile girlfriend; Stefan, his closest friend; and Petra, who has an on-off relationship with Stefan. Together they have forged tight bonds, but as the summer of 1989 unfolds these bonds start to unravel, as Ralf finds himself involved in a spying mission set for him by Oz, a 22-year old of Turkish origin, whom Ralf meets at a swimming pool but recognises from a car which has been parked outside his building for weeks. Oz is trying to find the identity of ‘Axel’, a Stasi spy that has been blackmailing leading political and military figures and who, Oz thinks, is really Ralf’s neighbour Tobias. Furthermore, Ralf finds himself torn between his love for Maike and a growing attraction to Oz. As the weeks and months go by further secrets are revealed and everything Ralf has taken for granted in his life starts to crumble:
‘I had the uneasy feeling that I was just old enough to see these things shifting for the first time, a snapshot of a much longer cycle, a split second in the inestimable history of my own deep time.’

Of course, in the background, is the fracturing of Communism and the events leading up to November 1989, when the checkpoints in Berlin were opened and the process that ultimately led to the reunification of Germany was begun. Without forcing the parallels down your throat, Fergusson manages to make the events unfolding in Ralf’s life and the wider political issues find their own threads. There are several subtle examples throughout the book of borders or edges, of something on the brink of changing: Ralf is half British and half German; he and his friends stand on the cusp of adulthood; he finds himself torn between his sexuality; and of course the Wall, which stands as a physical embodiment of the change that is to come to everyone in the novel.

I’ll be honest, when I first came to this novel, I was expecting a pretty simple spy story. Instead, what I found was a little gem of a book, with characters who came alive and clearly show a great deal of affection from the author. The various strands of the novel work in harmony, and the story of Ralf and Oz becomes more and more complicated as he – and us – start to question everyone and everything that happens. Who can we trust? Who is telling the truth? As the answers start to come and Ralf’s life explodes, the truth is shocking and the implications are massive. This is a tender, involving, beautifully written novel which draws you in and makes you care. The historical perspective is handled really well, and you truly get a sense of the teenagers in the story and their lives. It feels authentic, and is deeply moving. As I say, this was an unexpected wonder of a book, providing so much more than a simple synopsis can provide. 4.5 stars, which I’m happy to bump up to 5 simply because of the surprise of its effect on the reader. Wonderful.
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Dec 07, 2019 Nicolas Chinardet rated it really liked it

Shelves: london-gay-reading-group, signed-copy

This is the final book of a trilogy set in the same building.

The book starts with the languorous nonchalance of the hot 1989 Berlin summer it is set in and torpor seems always about to strike but slowly the plot catches pace to an almost satisfying ending.

There are a few elements of the plot that don't come as huge surprises when they finally happen but others are much more unexpected.

This is a gentle spy story but more importantly it is a tender coming of age and moving evocation of Berlin i ...more

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Dec 07, 2019 Eddie Clarke rated it liked it

Shelves: reading-group, lgbt, fiction, claphambooks

A great sense of period and location in this gay coming-of-age romance set in a tangle of Stasi & western spies as the Berlin Wall crumbles. Honesty between family and friends is the theme and the book is character-focussed rather than exclusively genre suspenseful. An enjoyable read - apparently the third segment of a Berlin trilogy set in the same building over the course of a century. After this I quite fancy checking out the first two.

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Jan 19, 2020 Benjamin Farr rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2020, lgbtqi

An excellent portrayal of a young man's life in West Berlin, 1989. It's hard to say much more without giving aspects of the plot away (the author keeps you guessing until the end), but a story I'll be thinking about long into the future. ...more

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Aug 02, 2020 Rosamund rated it it was amazing

Shelves: lgbtqi-fiction-poetry, britain, read-2020, germany, set-in-berlin, mystery-thriller-crime, 5-stars

Well, this was pretty excellent.

Unlike some novels that take place in Berlin, An Honest Man is very textured and doesn't take the concept of "wow Berlin much history very interesting" at face value. The zeitgeist of 1989 comes through very well, captured through portraying particular West Berlin streets/neighbourhoods and what they represented at that time, along with cultural touchstones. Ralf, the protagonist, is a geology buff, and every now and then there are facts about the primordial land ...more

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Aug 07, 2020 Gerasimos Reads rated it liked it

Shelves: own

3.5/5 Stars

An Honest Man is an honest, decent, fair, above-board book. It does what it says on the tin: a coming-of-age story of a young gay man living in West Berlin right before the Wall is about to fall. But unfortunately it isn't much more than that. The writing is decent (Fergusson does a particularly good job with the historical details and rendering a realistic portrait of West Berlin in the 80s), the characters are alright (most of them are too one-dimensional to be anything more than pa ...more

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Feb 27, 2021 Denise rated it really liked it

Shelves: own, read-2021

Change is in the air in West Berlin in the summer of 1989, entirely unbeknownst to Ralf and his friends who have just finished high school and are enjoying a glorious last few weeks swimming, smoking and basking in the sunshine together before each setting off on their paths into the future while world history is about to change on their doorstep. For Ralf, however, the momentous change his life is about to undergo is of a far more personal nature. Falling in love with the mysterious Oz, he beco ...more

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Sep 25, 2019 Chris rated it it was amazing

A story about family, espionage and truths. I was very intrigued with the directions the book took and the "twists" were very surprising. I had no knowledge of the plot going in and I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. ...more

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Jan 18, 2021 Eddie rated it really liked it · review of another edition

A really well written novel set in a interesting historical time around the time of the Berlin wall. An engaging read showing the authors deep understand of the late teen mind. A very enjoyable read.

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Sep 18, 2020 Jane Gregg rated it really liked it

A really interesting, thought provoking and complex novel, that does a great job exploring the statement (question?) that is its title.

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Dec 07, 2020 Nigel Richards rated it liked it

Beautifully written, at times the written word was exceptional. Unfortunately it was very slow indeed. It never really got going.

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Aug 22, 2020 S rated it really liked it

1989! gay! west Berlin! spies! geology! this had it all.

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Jan 15, 2020 Carlos Mock rated it it was amazing

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. An Honest Man by Ben Fergusson

"Who was he? I thought. Who were we? Traitors, emigrants, West German, East German, British? We were all of those things and none of them, of course. And the trouble was that our history of lies was the only true and stable thing I'd known, however corrupt it was." p. 349

Ralf (Ralfi) Dörsay is an 18 y/o student who just finished high school. He and his three best friends, Stefan, Petra, and Maike are living a final golden summer before they enroll in University. The An Honest Man by Ben Fergusson

"Who was he? I thought. Who were we? Traitors, emigrants, West German, East German, British? We were all of those things and none of them, of course. And the trouble was that our history of lies was the only true and stable thing I'd known, however corrupt it was." p. 349

Ralf (Ralfi) Dörsay is an 18 y/o student who just finished high school. He and his three best friends, Stefan, Petra, and Maike are living a final golden summer before they enroll in University. They spend their days swimming, smoking and daydreaming about the future, oblivious to the storm gathering on the other side of the Berlin Wall.

Ralfi has dated Maike for over a year and lost his virginity to her. All is well until Ralfi spots a handsome Turk by the name of Osman (Oz) Özemir. Oz has been spying his building searching for an East German spy by the code name "Axel." All Oz knows is that Axell had polio as a child and lives in Ralfi's building. As old Cold War tensions begin to tear his life apart, he finds himself caught up in a web of deceit, forced to make impossible choices about his country, his family and his heart. As the Berlin Wall falls--November 9, 1989--all is revealed.

The book is written from the first-person point of view. It's a heartfelt coming of age memoir. Alongside the intricate story, I found myself caring about the characters, learning about them, their backstories and their thoughts, which helped explain what motivated their actions as the story unfolded. I never saw the end coming! But, by then, I was so involved that it made no difference.

I loved the language about growing up. Finding out your mother has had an affair makes her human, in Ralfi's eyes: "And now? Now she had become human. Her fallibility had been exposed in an instant, like the lights going on in a club, revealing the shabbiness of all the dark forms that had a second earlier seemed so solid and so exquisite." p 114-5

On coming out: "I felt he was inviting me to explain myself. I had imagined that telling Petra would have a powerful effect on my ability to talk about Oz, but years of silence had left the connection between my mouth and my heart atrophied, like a vestigial organ--the withered legs whale or a mole rat's sightless eye. The language to say to my childhood friend, 'Yes, I love him' didn't exist. When I look for the words, I found nothing." p 258

Talking about your parent's sex lives: "It still made me feel nauseous, this talk of romance and desire and submission. I wonder if the children of good parents retain the myth that their mothers and fathers are not hot-blooded creatures like themselves, do not form childhood crushes, do not masturbate, are not easily flattered and afraid of dying." p. 337

And growing up: "I felt a pain in my chest. It was a disappointment that all of my secrets had now been revealed and yet there was still an insurmountable distance between the feelings I wanted to express to my friends and my ability to do so. Was this what it meant to be an adult? I thought, and felt sad." p. 359.

I literally had to force myself to put the book down! My only regret is that it was not longer! Loved it!!!! ...more

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Jan 24, 2021 Megan Snedden rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This is the first book I've read in a long while, so I'm giving this 5 stars considering how surprised I was at just how much I enjoyed this.

Set in the summer of 1989 in West Berlin before the Wall came down, this gave you a really good flavour of what it was like to live there at that point in time, which I enjoyed.

It began as a story of 18 year old Ralf enjoying his last summer with his group of friends and girlfriend before University. However, this quickly became sidelined to issues such as ...more

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Jan 12, 2021 Kavin rated it really liked it

'I felt as if a void had opened up around me. I realized that up until that point I'd always felt as if my life was following a clear course, but Oz had revealed the giddy multiplicity of lives that I might live, of people I might be. The whole world had become unstable, the things I believed, however laughable it may seems, to be permanent-my girlfriend, my friends, my family, my understanding of myself-had begun to shift. And I had the uneasy feeling that I was just old enough to see these

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May 18, 2019 Siobhan rated it really liked it · review of another edition

An Honest Man is a novel about love and Cold War tensions, set in West Berlin in 1989. Ralf is eighteen and is waiting for his exam results to see if he's going to university in England. He and his friends spend their time together, enjoying the days of summer before they all part ways. When Ralf meets Oz at a swimming pool, he is intrigued by the man, and they are drawn closer as Oz reveals dangerous secrets about possible spies and divided loyalties. Suddenly Ralf must question what he knows a ...more

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Aug 08, 2020 Manu Cortez rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2-0-2-0

What happens when the foundation upon which you built your life starts to crumble, slowly at first, the fissures appearing as the summer heat sizzles above it, and then all at once. Left to rebuilt, if Diogenes was wandering through Berlin and found our protagonist, he would have called him an honest man.

The book is set in berlin, during the 1989`s a specter is hanging over Germany, the fall of the berlin wall is imminent, yet the characters suspend their belief in unification. For who could ha ...more

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Mar 08, 2021 Linda rated it it was amazing

„And this might have been my lasting memory of summer 1989. Even that moment I might have forgotten, recalling only my A levels and the Wall if people asked what that year had meant to me. But of course, in the end, 1989 meant neither of those things. It just meant Oz, and espionage – how grand that word sounds now – and I suppose my family and the terrible things we did.“

Doesn’t that make you wanting to pick this book immediately up? Separated Germany in 1989, espionage, secrets, betrayals and „And this might have been my lasting memory of summer 1989. Even that moment I might have forgotten, recalling only my A levels and the Wall if people asked what that year had meant to me. But of course, in the end, 1989 meant neither of those things. It just meant Oz, and espionage – how grand that word sounds now – and I suppose my family and the terrible things we did.“

Doesn’t that make you wanting to pick this book immediately up? Separated Germany in 1989, espionage, secrets, betrayals and queer characters…I honestly can’t believe this book wasn’t read by more people!

I’ve always been very interested in History and of course living in Germany, German history is even more special to me. A short time ago I started watching Charité, a historical TV series about the famous German hospital in Berlin. I was absolutely amazed and binged watched the available episodes and so it came that it threw me into a German history bubble whereas I now want to read all the books and watch all the series about German history. And I’m so happy I picked up this book.
An Honest Man is set in West Berlin a few months before the fall of the Berlin Wall and centers around 18-years-old Ralf who just took his A-Levels and wants to spend his last summer with his friends in Berlin before everyone leaves for universities in different places. That’s when he accidentally meets Oz, a mysterious 22 years old man with Turkish origin. Through him Ralf is thrown into a different world - full of gripping stories, Stasi spies, betrayals and desire. He is asked by Oz to help him convict a potential spy from East Berlin who happens to be Ralfs neighbor.
Up to this point the only thing Ralf didn’t have in common with his friends was his bilingual upbringing as his mother is British (which is an interesting element in this book) and his conflicting feelings about his sexuality. But now it’s becoming harder to spend time with his friends and his girlfriend while trying to keep his ‚mission‘ a secret. Nevertheless I loved how the reader still gets to learn more about the side characters - I really thought them very funny, familiar and found myself wishing I could take part in their nightly outings. Same with Ralfs parents and little brother. The protagonist obviously has a safe support system and that’s the reason I was so anxious about what would happen in the course of the story, when everything is finally revealed.
I personally loved the ending because for me it just fit the story, it wasn’t far fetched at all and made perfect sense. There was also a nice little surprise that I was very grateful about.
I thought I’d read a little spy story, maybe heavy on politics. But I found so much more…with characters who came alive and whom the author fleshed out in the most wholesome way. The different threads of the book were played out together so perfectly, and the story of Ralf and Oz becomes more and more complicated as he – and us – start to question everyone and everything that happens. Who is telling the truth? Who is the real spy? As the reader comes closer to the truth, Ralf’s life is turned upside down and he has to decide what to do.
This was truly an amazing read about coming of age, history, love, friendship, betrayal and loyalty that could also be read as a little detective story.
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Oct 20, 2020 Harriet Coulson rated it it was ok

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Mar 25, 2020 Shawn rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This is a thick, deeply enveloping treat of a read. Full of twists and deeply engaging it is a coming of age tale set in 1988-89 West Berlin where a group of teens, face the challenges of their own families during a tumultuous time in German history. The author has captured the spirit and the rich environment and wrapped around a tense and skillfully woven narrative.
The teens are enjoying a last summer before heading off to University and coming to grips with the coming changes in their own live ...more

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May 10, 2020 LittleSophie rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2020, gay-fiction, love-stories, summer-novels

1989: Over the course of one Berlin summer, Ralf undergoes an amlost complete break of identity while his hometown is similarly on the brink of transformation.

Absolutely saturated with memorable details, youthful scenes of summer and moments of intriguing mystery, I found this to be a delightful and gripping read. As a native Berliner myself, I was especially struck with Fergusson's eye for detail in catching the mood and specifics of a Berlin summer. He must have either grown up here or done an ...more

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Mar 24, 2021 Charlie Beaumont rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This is a fascinating read and one I enjoyed increasingly the further the plot unravelled. The novel for me had a number of themes, adolescence, coming of age, sexuality, relationships between parents and their children, Berlin as a city, the political context provided by the socialist east and the capitalist west with the dividing Wall very much present, and the tensions that will arise when people have different beliefs and so become wary and suspicious of each other. The central characters we ...more

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About Ben Fergusson

Ben Fergusson

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Ben Fergusson is an award-winning novelist. He was born in Southampton in 1980 and grew up near Didcot in Oxfordshire. He studied English Literature at Warwick University and Modern Languages at Bristol University. Since leaving university he has worked as an editor, translator and publisher in London and Berlin and currently teaches at the University of Potsdam.

Ben’s debut novel, The Spring of K ...more