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Space Between: Explorations of Love, Sex, and Fluidity

3.74  ·  Rating details ·  354 ratings  ·  76 reviews
Actor and LGTBQIA+ advocate Nico Tortorella's narrative investigation of love, sex, gender, addiction, family, fame, and fluidity through the lens of their nonbinary identity

Nico Tortorella is a seeker. Raised on a steady regimen of Ram Dass and raw food, they have always been interested in the more spiritual aspects of life. That is, until the desire for fame and fort
Hardcover, 288 pages
Published September 17th 2019 by Crown Publishing Group (NY)
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Average rating 3.74  · 
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 ·  354 ratings  ·  76 reviews

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John Amory
Aug 18, 2019 rated it did not like it
I hated Nico's book of poetry, but I teach a unit on deconstructing gender stereotypes to my freshmen, so I thought this might be a good option for them to read as a supplement to their projects.


This is an exhausting (despite its short length) dive into faux intellectualism and performative queerness by a white, traditionally attractive, young, male-presenting person who is in a heterosexual marriage with a white, young, female-presenting person, living in a home bought with money earned fo
Courtney Rodgers
This book is so jumbled. There is no narrative flow or structure. While some portions were interesting, the book reminded me of a amateur blog post. Nico's description of themself just seems so performative. Their intent may be more genuine, but their descriptions of experiences and emotions, just seem so performative and contrived. ...more
The Nerd Daily
Nov 17, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Originally published on The Nerd Daily | Review by Beth Mowbray

“My gender and my sexuality are not defined by what I wear, or even whom I’m sleeping with at any given point. They are defined by who I am. Which is something that is constantly changing as I critique myself and grow as a person. Every new thing I learn changes who I am and how I understand my place in the world. This is my fluidity, this is my space between.”

You probably recognise Nico Tortorella from the hit TV Land show Younger.
Feb 22, 2020 rated it did not like it
It’s exciting to see more people coming out as queer and nonbinary, more people questioning and challenging the gender binary. However, I’m finding it hard to enjoy this narrative because so much of the content trips me up. Nico’s life story is so white, so privileged, and brings up their strange beliefs in supernatural phenomena. I don’t want to be dismissive, but some of their beliefs are really out there.

The fact that many people in Nico’s family are racist and homophobic and they’re willing
Jul 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
This was so interesting and educational and I hope it will get a wide audience.

Nico is quite the character! Now I know this is an autobiography but they is just something else - and that has nothing to do with the gender identity or sexual preference aspect. A modern day hippie, artist, actor, poet... very diverse and fascinating person to read about.

I loved their family and how regardless of each other’s views and opinions there is still a wonderful bond of love, acceptance and forgiveness wh
Nov 14, 2019 rated it it was ok
Shelves: audiobook, lgbt, memoir, owned
I wanted to love this book whole-heartedly, especially when Nico Tortorella expressed on their Instagram account that this book was their love bomb. I adored so many episodes from that podcast, and I was hoping through this book I'd learn more about Nico's spiritual journey into who they are now-- as I have been watching their transition online and through social media in their lense/pov.

Unfortunately this book just wasn't it. I enjoyed the dialogue between them and their mother, as well as exp
Sep 11, 2019 rated it it was ok
As much as I tried I just couldn't get into this book. It was complicated at times, and the direction of where the book was going was just all over the place. It felt very amateurish to me, almost like a generic blog post.

Rating 2
Oct 29, 2019 rated it really liked it
Listen with an open mind. Nico is doing important work. He’s using his privilege for good.

I don’t always identify with his spiritual journey, but I don’t discount its importance to his journey.

CherryRed’s Reads
As soon as I started with the introduction to this book, I was hooked.
I love the raw and honesty of the words that Author Nico Tortorella pours out in this book.
His words pull you into his world that he has lived.
While reading, I felt the emotions that Nico expressed, wanting others to understand his journey he has so far lived in his life with society.
It was heartbreaking to read his journey that he has had in the past with addictions and his past relationships but it made us the reader underst
Dec 02, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Space Between: Explorations of Love, Sex, and Fluidity
So many people so many different opinions so I am not going to give you a traditional review just some thoughts

I wonder if I am the only person who picked this up after watching Nico do an interview on television. I have been a fan of Nico since I first saw him on the TV Show Younger. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to start there You will get to see a depiction of Nico that in my opinion is extremely gender normative. Tortorella plays a c
Sep 25, 2019 rated it liked it
Nico Totorella provides an intimate view of their struggles with addiction, fame, and their own identity as a nonbinary bisexual. Their unique perspective on growing up Italian-American, leaving for Hollywood, and struggling to come to terms with their own issues and traumas makes this a journey worth taking, even for readers with little interest in celebrity gossip. Nico examines the conflict between the privileges of their upbringing and the marginalization of their queer identity, emphasized ...more
Ary Chest
Sep 23, 2019 rated it it was ok
I'm trying to write this review as Nico would want me to, unbiased, non-prejudice, and respectfully.

I definitely tried, when I wrote down notes, as I read. That being said, I don't like the message; not because I disagree with non-binary / fluidity as a concept. It's the way it's branded that leaves a distaste in my mouth.

Nico definitely loves woke, both as a noun and an adjective. The problem is, when Nico uses the word or writes anything that would evoke its definition, Nico doesn't do much
Kenneth Wade
Dec 30, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2019, queer
Although a little pretentious at times (Tortorella never stops mentioning the title of his first book), Space Between feels like a warm hug. I love the messages of acceptance and activism. It discusses addiction, love, gender, sexuality, polyamory, family, and much more in very mature and realistic ways. I can definitely foresee this book affecting me positively in the future with its promotion of self-acceptance and exploring everything within reach.

4 out of 5
Aug 07, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I won’t be able to eloquently convey how I felt reading this book but I loved all of it. I listened to it on Audible, narrated by the author and I personally feel this is the best way to experience it. Nico is a really great storyteller and I could feel the passion in their voice and the way they unapologetically love with that same passion. Everyone should be able to be who they want to be and love who they want to love and I appreciated hearing Nico’s journey and how they’ve grown into using t ...more
Sam Rosenberg
Jan 21, 2020 rated it liked it
Eh. I love Nico on Younger (a massively underrated TV show that everyone should watch) and think their activism in pushing for more queer/trans media representation is great. I admire the ambition and lucid amount of detail that went in their memoir—and even found myself deeply engrossed in the first half, where they discussed their upbringing as a young Hollywood starling seduced by the hedonism of fame and the self-destruction that followed.

As an actual book though, it's pretty all over the p
Sep 26, 2019 rated it really liked it
I have long been fascinated by Nico Tortorella. This book has only added to that fascination. I think they were very brave and open and I learned a lot while listening to this book.
Steven M
Feb 23, 2020 rated it it was amazing
So much truth and authenticity within 288 pages.
Not only have I opened my eyes to the societal ideologies that have been pressed upon - I’ve also expanded my own truth in my own self expression. This book was so real and honest and I recommend it to EVERY BODY.
Oct 25, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfic, memoir
This book is a solid 4 stars for me, but the experience of reading (actually listening to the author read the book to me on Audible) is harder to quantify.

It's of course simpler to talk about the aspects of this book that I didn't entirely like. While I enjoy reading about musicians and famous authors who I have inspired me, I am pretty uninterested in reading about the lives of "celebrities." When Tortorella veers in the parts of his life that cover his acting and the privileges that comes with
This book made me think more clearly about things that have felt a little out-of-focus until now. I know, that’s a huge claim. But gender fluidity and sexual fluidity is all very nebulous and can be a daunting subject. Don’t ever google it, you won’t get all that much helpful information and will probably end up more confused than when you started.

Tortorella’s story is a detailed and personal journey from the early days of feeling loved while wiping make-up from their mother’s eyes to an adult b
Astrid Pizarro (Book Lover's Book Reviews)
I have known Nico as an actor due to Scream 4 and most recently as part of TV Land’s Younger. However, Space Between helped me learn about their life, Hollywood and their journey to find their own identity. Seeing Nico at first glance, I would have never guessed the experienced they have been through: from their battle with alcoholism to their journey to find their own identity and their marriage to Bethany.

Reading Space Between made me feel as if I was going through their experiences with them.
Jillian M.
Sep 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
I really enjoyed this book. It was not the kind of memoir I was expecting. Usually, it's here's where I came from, what I overcame, etc. However, Nico Tortorella is brutally honest from the very first page. It isn't just a story but a reflection on being queer and nonbinary. Nico uses they/them as their pronouns, even though most who know them solely through their work on YOUNGER would expect a cis-hetero man. It was so interesting to read about their journey of self-discovery. The writing style ...more
Jessica White
Feb 01, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I first met Nico through their character Josh on Younger.
So when I saw they were writing a book, I immediately had to have it.
That being said, I had no idea what to expect from Nico's life.

Space Between: The Exploration of Love, Sex, and Fluidity.
Nico has always felt like they needed to explore their sexuality and what exactly that would mean for their family, career, and overall well-being. Recently, Nico has decided to use they/them pronouns. Their gender fluidity is constantly moving, adapti
Nov 13, 2019 rated it really liked it
Talk about an honest and open memoir. Nico doesn't hold back when discussing their relationships, addictions, spirituality, gender and sexuality. Their openness to lay themselves bare, was refreshing. It was also jarring at times. It's not often a celebrity or someone who has a platform, is as open and honest as this memoir was. It certainly could backfire, or cause that star's shine to dim, if the public isn't ready for what they have to say. I applaud the risk.
I found Nico's observations on ge
Sara Chapman
Nov 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I'm not sure where to even start my review on this book because it has so many layers! It's like my favorite food - an onion! I have just recently started to understand better what it means to be white privileged. I have just recently started to learn more about LGBTQIA. I feel ashamed for being 30 years old and just realizing that I, myself am a white privileged women. That is why I wanted to read Space Between, so I can keep growing and learning.

I loved this passage at the end of the book...

Josh Horton
Jun 12, 2020 rated it really liked it
I remember watching Nico in the TV show The Following. I won't deny I was attracted to them.

When I saw they wrote a book, I had to read it. Nico is non-binary and gender-fluid. This book is their memoir detail Nic's journey through their sexuality, spirituality, and their struggles with addiction. I was intrigued by their voice for the most part. Theirs is an interesting journey that made me start to question what gender really means/looks like. Why are we obsessed with masculinity and feminini
Beth M.
Nov 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
“My gender and my sexuality are not defined by what I wear, or even whom I’m sleeping with at any given point. They are defined by who I am. Which is something that is constantly changing as I critique myself and grow as a person. Every new thing I learn changes who I am and how I understand my place in the world. This is my fluidity, this is my space between.”

My first “introduction” to Nico Tortorella was a few years ago when the hit TV Land show Younger debuted. (If you haven’t seen it, you’re
Mar 03, 2020 rated it really liked it
Reading a non-fiction was one of my 2020 reading goals and I am so impressed with the book I chose. Space Between is an autobiographical look into Nico Tortorella’s life. Nico does not use the pronouns he/she but references they/them/their in reference to oneself. In the theme of the book I will be doing my review this way. This book was completely eye opening for me. As the tag line states it is “explorations of love, sex and fluidity.” Nico poetically and candidly delves into all the details o ...more
Jackson Theofore Lara
Jun 14, 2020 rated it it was ok
I don't think I've ever seen this actor act, so I had no preconceived notions prior to reading this book. However, I found the whole book to be pretentious. He has the whole "My life is better than yours" attitude down. Even when he was using drugs, he flaunts his life as an example of total hedonists abandon, which later turns into a hippie-dippy love fest of himself as he is. The book is weirdly preachy, which comes off quite oddly from a pretty, white, cisgender playing actor, with a wife, al ...more
Sep 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
This was a beautiful insight into Nico's mind. They are open with their history and past in this book. Throughout the entire time reading it, I felt like I was sitting with them, having a conversation. There were some moments that seemed embellished, and Nico even points that out, but who hasn't done something similar when they are telling a story? Nico brings to light the darker parts of their past, and as a fan of theirs, it was eye opening to see what they had been going through during the ti ...more
Nov 07, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bisexual
3.5 stars.
I suppose I'm an unusual Nico Tortorella fan? I don't even remember how I came to know about them. I don't believe I have ever seen them act. But I did love their podcast series. The number of out-and-proud bisexual celebrities is still a short list, so I try to support the ones who are. Their philosophies of love and relationship closely mirror my own, which is why I appreciate their podcast so much. This book is good, too. As always, it's odd to read a memoir by someone so young. I c
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Nico Tortorella is an actor, television personality, and author of the poetry collection all of it is you. Nico stars in the hit series Younger and is an outspoken advocate for the LGBTQIA+ community. They live in New York.

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