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Space Between: Explorations of Love, Sex, and Fluidity

Nico Tortorella (Goodreads Author)

3.74 · Rating details · 354 ratings · 76 reviews

Actor and LGTBQIA+ advocate Nico Tortorella's narrative investigation of love, sex, gender, addiction, family, fame, and fluidity through the lens of their nonbinary identity

Nico Tortorella is a seeker. Raised on a steady regimen of Ram Dass and raw food, they have always been interested in the more spiritual aspects of life. That is, until the desire for fame and fort ...more

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Hardcover, 288 pages

Published September 17th 2019 by Crown Publishing Group (NY)

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Aug 18, 2019 John Amory rated it did not like it

I hated Nico's book of poetry, but I teach a unit on deconstructing gender stereotypes to my freshmen, so I thought this might be a good option for them to read as a supplement to their projects.

Nope.

This is an exhausting (despite its short length) dive into faux intellectualism and performative queerness by a white, traditionally attractive, young, male-presenting person who is in a heterosexual marriage with a white, young, female-presenting person, living in a home bought with money earned fo ...more

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Jul 22, 2019 Courtney Rodgers added it

Shelves: nonfiction, lgbtqia

This book is so jumbled. There is no narrative flow or structure. While some portions were interesting, the book reminded me of a amateur blog post. Nico's description of themself just seems so performative. Their intent may be more genuine, but their descriptions of experiences and emotions, just seem so performative and contrived. ...more

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Nov 17, 2019 The Nerd Daily rated it it was amazing

Originally published on The Nerd Daily | Review by Beth Mowbray

“My gender and my sexuality are not defined by what I wear, or even whom I’m sleeping with at any given point. They are defined by who I am. Which is something that is constantly changing as I critique myself and grow as a person. Every new thing I learn changes who I am and how I understand my place in the world. This is my fluidity, this is my space between.”

You probably recognise Nico Tortorella from the hit TV Land show Younger. Originally published on The Nerd Daily | Review by Beth Mowbray

“My gender and my sexuality are not defined by what I wear, or even whom I’m sleeping with at any given point. They are defined by who I am. Which is something that is constantly changing as I critique myself and grow as a person. Every new thing I learn changes who I am and how I understand my place in the world. This is my fluidity, this is my space between.”

You probably recognise Nico Tortorella from the hit TV Land show Younger. (If you haven’t seen it, you’re missing out. Seriously. Go watch!) Tortorella plays a character by the name of Josh – a charismatic tattoo artist with the best smile you’ve ever seen. Josh falls in love with Liza – a woman in her 40s who convinces everyone she is much younger in order to snag a job in publishing. And a lot of interesting plot points ensue.

Tortorella’s success on this show, however, is but a small part of the journey they share in their book, Space Between: Explorations of Love, Sex, and Fluidity. You may be thinking they are too young to write a memoir at the age of 31. However, there is a lot of life experience and learning packed into those years. The quote above beautifully captures the essence of the story told here—a journey through their childhood and upbringing. An ongoing discovery of their identity. Equal parts education for the masses and introspection on their individual journey.

From the very start, Tortorella makes it clear that they are a work in progress, so to speak. That they are in the midst of learning more about self, identity, interconnectedness with others and the earth around them, and – perhaps most importantly – how to use their role in the public eye to create greater acceptance, inclusion, and change. Tortorella recounts their own personal experiences through the years to give insight into how they have come to understand their identity – an identity that exists outside of the typical labels and choices given by society at large. Yes, there is a great focus on the gender binary, the preconceived definitions of sexuality or sexual orientation, the obvious topics you might expect from the title. But there is also an underlying current that one should not feel constrained between a duality of choices, between this or that, in any aspect of their lives or self-definition. And as Tortorella comes to understand and live in this “space between,” embracing their own fluidity, their life becomes exponentially more full.

Much of what Tortorella explores is related to social constructionist theory – the idea that meaning is created, assigned, and not just one absolute to be discovered. They approach this concept from both the perspective of how we internalise and create our own narratives of our life experiences, as well as how (often quite differently) those outside assign meaning to the ways in which they view us. Tortorella then moves beyond to provide a commentary on how harmful and divisive socially constructed definitions and roles can be, particularly as they often work to the exclusion of minorities and those outside positions of power. However, if we can learn to put aside these assigned definitions, there is beauty in learning who we are. Not only are we then able to find ourselves, but we also are able to find much-needed support and acceptance. In this way, Tortorella pushes the reader to consider the many ways that we may all exist outside of these constructs – what they term the “space between” – as well as how we may accept and honour ourselves, and each other, in healthy ways.

Tortorella unflinchingly says what they mean and means what they say. This memoir is both engaging and touching in the way that they bare their innermost thoughts and experiences for others to learn from. In parts it even reads as a love letter to their spouse, Bethany Meyers, and the other loves that have shaped them along the way. If entered with an open mind and heart, the reader is likely to walk away from this reading experience with a great respect for Tortorella’s ongoing journey, the journey of so many, indeed the journey that we all face in our own ways to learn and express who we are. ...more

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Feb 22, 2020 DFZ rated it did not like it

It’s exciting to see more people coming out as queer and nonbinary, more people questioning and challenging the gender binary. However, I’m finding it hard to enjoy this narrative because so much of the content trips me up. Nico’s life story is so white, so privileged, and brings up their strange beliefs in supernatural phenomena. I don’t want to be dismissive, but some of their beliefs are really out there.

The fact that many people in Nico’s family are racist and homophobic and they’re willing ...more

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Jul 08, 2019 Marianne rated it really liked it

This was so interesting and educational and I hope it will get a wide audience.

Nico is quite the character! Now I know this is an autobiography but they is just something else - and that has nothing to do with the gender identity or sexual preference aspect. A modern day hippie, artist, actor, poet... very diverse and fascinating person to read about.

I loved their family and how regardless of each other’s views and opinions there is still a wonderful bond of love, acceptance and forgiveness wh ...more

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Nov 14, 2019 Morgan rated it it was ok

Shelves: audiobook, lgbt, memoir, owned

I wanted to love this book whole-heartedly, especially when Nico Tortorella expressed on their Instagram account that this book was their love bomb. I adored so many episodes from that podcast, and I was hoping through this book I'd learn more about Nico's spiritual journey into who they are now-- as I have been watching their transition online and through social media in their lense/pov.

Unfortunately this book just wasn't it. I enjoyed the dialogue between them and their mother, as well as exp ...more

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Sep 11, 2019 Tomas rated it it was ok

As much as I tried I just couldn't get into this book. It was complicated at times, and the direction of where the book was going was just all over the place. It felt very amateurish to me, almost like a generic blog post.

Rating 2 ...more

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Oct 29, 2019 Susan rated it really liked it

Listen with an open mind. Nico is doing important work. He’s using his privilege for good.

I don’t always identify with his spiritual journey, but I don’t discount its importance to his journey.

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Sep 17, 2019 CherryRed’s Reads added it

As soon as I started with the introduction to this book, I was hooked.
I love the raw and honesty of the words that Author Nico Tortorella pours out in this book.
His words pull you into his world that he has lived.
While reading, I felt the emotions that Nico expressed, wanting others to understand his journey he has so far lived in his life with society.
It was heartbreaking to read his journey that he has had in the past with addictions and his past relationships but it made us the reader underst ...more

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Dec 02, 2019 Blagica rated it it was amazing

Shelves: new-author, memoirs, new-to-me-author, 5-stars

Space Between: Explorations of Love, Sex, and Fluidity
So many people so many different opinions so I am not going to give you a traditional review just some thoughts

I wonder if I am the only person who picked this up after watching Nico do an interview on television. I have been a fan of Nico since I first saw him on the TV Show Younger. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to start there You will get to see a depiction of Nico that in my opinion is extremely gender normative. Tortorella plays a c Space Between: Explorations of Love, Sex, and Fluidity
So many people so many different opinions so I am not going to give you a traditional review just some thoughts

I wonder if I am the only person who picked this up after watching Nico do an interview on television. I have been a fan of Nico since I first saw him on the TV Show Younger. If you haven’t seen it I urge you to start there You will get to see a depiction of Nico that in my opinion is extremely gender normative. Tortorella plays a character by the name of Josh – a charismatic tattoo artist with the best smile you’ve ever seen. Josh falls in love with Liza – a woman in her 40s who convinces everyone she is much younger in order to snag a job in publishing. And a lot of interesting plot points ensue. Writing this actually makes me want to watch the last season. Nevertheless, Tortorella makes this memoir very straight forward and tells the reader right off the bat that they are a work in progress and that made this a very honest read for me. I found parts of this book eye opening and some parts hard to wrap my head around but I do believe that was the point. They use their power from the public eye to bring more awareness to the different aspects of people equality. I know that many people found this a hard read. It really isn’t if you are willing to look at yourself through the lens it was written in.

I loved the aspects of breaking down gender binaries. While I identify myself as straight the way that Nico breaks down the aspects of love, being loved and loving are truly remarkable. I know that many people think that marriage and love should occur between a man and a woman, I think that everyone deserves love and they should be able to receive it in the best way they see fit. Call me too open minded if you will but, I have spent a good part of my life being looked at just for being different that I enjoy being unique in my opinions. Much of what Tortorella explores is related to social constructionist theory – the idea that meaning is created, assigned, and not just one absolute to be discovered. They approach this concept from both the perspective of how we internalize and create our own narratives of our life experiences, as well as how (often quite differently) those outside assign meaning to the ways in which they view us. There is quite more that they can do given that the money and status they acquire is far beyond our reach but this book was a great way to present some social differences so that those of us that want to be more aware can be more aware. Not saying in the slightest that this book is the be all end all for equality it isn’t. For me personally it was just a way of opening up that part of my literary self and wanting to read more on the topic. I have always said people should be treated as people and the way that this book is put together is the best presentation of Nico Tortorella thus far. I will be intrigued to find out what’s next. ...more

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Sep 25, 2019 Andie rated it liked it

Nico Totorella provides an intimate view of their struggles with addiction, fame, and their own identity as a nonbinary bisexual. Their unique perspective on growing up Italian-American, leaving for Hollywood, and struggling to come to terms with their own issues and traumas makes this a journey worth taking, even for readers with little interest in celebrity gossip. Nico examines the conflict between the privileges of their upbringing and the marginalization of their queer identity, emphasized ...more

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Sep 23, 2019 Ary Chest rated it it was ok

I'm trying to write this review as Nico would want me to, unbiased, non-prejudice, and respectfully.

I definitely tried, when I wrote down notes, as I read. That being said, I don't like the message; not because I disagree with non-binary / fluidity as a concept. It's the way it's branded that leaves a distaste in my mouth.

Nico definitely loves woke, both as a noun and an adjective. The problem is, when Nico uses the word or writes anything that would evoke its definition, Nico doesn't do much ...more

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Dec 30, 2019 Kenneth Wade rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2019, queer

Although a little pretentious at times (Tortorella never stops mentioning the title of his first book), Space Between feels like a warm hug. I love the messages of acceptance and activism. It discusses addiction, love, gender, sexuality, polyamory, family, and much more in very mature and realistic ways. I can definitely foresee this book affecting me positively in the future with its promotion of self-acceptance and exploring everything within reach.

4 out of 5

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Aug 07, 2020 Lisa rated it it was amazing

I won’t be able to eloquently convey how I felt reading this book but I loved all of it. I listened to it on Audible, narrated by the author and I personally feel this is the best way to experience it. Nico is a really great storyteller and I could feel the passion in their voice and the way they unapologetically love with that same passion. Everyone should be able to be who they want to be and love who they want to love and I appreciated hearing Nico’s journey and how they’ve grown into using t ...more

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Jan 21, 2020 Sam Rosenberg rated it liked it

Eh. I love Nico on Younger (a massively underrated TV show that everyone should watch) and think their activism in pushing for more queer/trans media representation is great. I admire the ambition and lucid amount of detail that went in their memoir—and even found myself deeply engrossed in the first half, where they discussed their upbringing as a young Hollywood starling seduced by the hedonism of fame and the self-destruction that followed.

As an actual book though, it's pretty all over the p ...more

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Sep 26, 2019 Alihyland rated it really liked it

I have long been fascinated by Nico Tortorella. This book has only added to that fascination. I think they were very brave and open and I learned a lot while listening to this book.

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Feb 23, 2020 Steven M rated it it was amazing

So much truth and authenticity within 288 pages.
Not only have I opened my eyes to the societal ideologies that have been pressed upon - I’ve also expanded my own truth in my own self expression. This book was so real and honest and I recommend it to EVERY BODY.

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Oct 25, 2019 BookChampions rated it really liked it

Shelves: nonfic, memoir

This book is a solid 4 stars for me, but the experience of reading (actually listening to the author read the book to me on Audible) is harder to quantify.

It's of course simpler to talk about the aspects of this book that I didn't entirely like. While I enjoy reading about musicians and famous authors who I have inspired me, I am pretty uninterested in reading about the lives of "celebrities." When Tortorella veers in the parts of his life that cover his acting and the privileges that comes with This book is a solid 4 stars for me, but the experience of reading (actually listening to the author read the book to me on Audible) is harder to quantify.

It's of course simpler to talk about the aspects of this book that I didn't entirely like. While I enjoy reading about musicians and famous authors who I have inspired me, I am pretty uninterested in reading about the lives of "celebrities." When Tortorella veers in the parts of his life that cover his acting and the privileges that comes with being a celebrity or being wealthy, I felt my interest waning. [Luckily that isn't a huge part of the book.] And while Nico does a commendable job unpacking their privileges when it comes to race and gender, there isn't any (or very little) unpacking of the privileges that come from wealth. Also, while Nico is a very good-looking human being, I think perhaps putting their shirtless torso on the cover of the book detracts from the message in the book. I am imagining some really cool typography, along the lines of Jill Soloway's She Wants It, which I read earlier this year and covers similar terrain; that would have been really cool for this book.

The truth is, though, that despite these quibbles, I actually find a **great** affinity with Nico's perspective on the world and on gender and sexuality. It's been rare in all my reading of LGBTQ+ texts to hear a bisexual/fluid perspective, so there were some spots here where I felt super-seen.

I would recommend this book to those interested in learning about queer perspectives and/or understand their own queerness—but I also think his book is fine exploration of a human soul searching for answers. Nico is a big dreamer who dares to see the world with more generous and forgiving eyes. Nico has real vision. They are also committed to understand how their privileges have threatened their ability to engage in their community (both LGBTQ and the larger world) in a way that truly makes a difference; I have mad respect for that commitment and I feel ya!

At one point they quote a friend, but I think it perfectly describes Nico's project in this book: "I wanted to know what the world hadn't imagined yet." In fact, that could actually be MY own mantra in life. I never tire trying to envision new ways to see the world, and it was a gift to get to read this perspective from someone who shares this core belief.

I love the word "fluidity." I love the word "queer." Both are slippery terms that defy definition and cannot be pinned down. They will also allude your attempts to shrink one's complexity. They are terms that shake and shimmy out of your grasp, all in the name of love and acceptance.

I don't know how I learned about this book, but I'm really glad I read it. I've even started listening to Nico's podcast, The Love Bomb, and I appreciate these opportunities to further understand my place in the LGTBQ++++ community. ...more

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Jul 13, 2019 Charlotte rated it really liked it

Shelves: gender-identity, diverse-characters, my-favourite-books, lgbtq, coming-of-age, best-lgbtq-books, coming-out, non-fiction, biography-memoir

This book made me think more clearly about things that have felt a little out-of-focus until now. I know, that’s a huge claim. But gender fluidity and sexual fluidity is all very nebulous and can be a daunting subject. Don’t ever google it, you won’t get all that much helpful information and will probably end up more confused than when you started.

Tortorella’s story is a detailed and personal journey from the early days of feeling loved while wiping make-up from their mother’s eyes to an adult b This book made me think more clearly about things that have felt a little out-of-focus until now. I know, that’s a huge claim. But gender fluidity and sexual fluidity is all very nebulous and can be a daunting subject. Don’t ever google it, you won’t get all that much helpful information and will probably end up more confused than when you started.

Tortorella’s story is a detailed and personal journey from the early days of feeling loved while wiping make-up from their mother’s eyes to an adult beginning to feel more comfortable in their own skin and with their own feelings and desires.

"I never felt like I was in the wrong body. And the more I realized I had been born into the wrong world, not the wrong body, the more things started to make sense." – Nico Tortorella in Space Between

This book is a remarkable story written by someone who is still an unfinished piece of work. The fact that Tortorella is writing a book this profound at such a young age makes me joyful about anything they may write in the future. Clearly, they have done a lot of soul searching and self-care. Equally as clear is that Tortorella has been through the wars.

"No one asks if you’re nonbinary or trans, or if you’re comfortable in your skin. You ultimately get reduced to who you’re having sex with. No one ever says, “Hey, who are you? What do you believe in? What do you care about?” These are questions that might actually get us somewhere, but instead, the focus is on what we do with what’s between our legs.". – Nico Tortorella in Space Between.

This isn’t just a memoir about early life… it’s the recounting of a journey that is both spiritual and personal. The author is candid about gender identity, addictions, homophobia, biphobia, sexual fluidity, relationships, Hollywood and the exploration and challenges as they navigated all of it. This isn’t a dramatic, Hollywood tell-all: this is a book that reads as though it’s someone’s truth, and that the pieces of the story are imparted with a hope that it might assist someone else to find their way.

"You don’t get to say who you are becoming. Really loving someone means you get to be a witness, blessed to be a part of their experiences, even if only sometimes." – Nico Tortorella in Space Between

Tortorella weaves together their internal dialogue with the exterior events in a way that enables the reader to see a glimpse of what their life has been like. Their life has been complex but full of profound learnings, some of which have a high cost. ...more

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Oct 05, 2019 Astrid Pizarro (Book Lover's Book Reviews) rated it it was amazing

I have known Nico as an actor due to Scream 4 and most recently as part of TV Land’s Younger. However, Space Between helped me learn about their life, Hollywood and their journey to find their own identity. Seeing Nico at first glance, I would have never guessed the experienced they have been through: from their battle with alcoholism to their journey to find their own identity and their marriage to Bethany.

Reading Space Between made me feel as if I was going through their experiences with them. I have known Nico as an actor due to Scream 4 and most recently as part of TV Land’s Younger. However, Space Between helped me learn about their life, Hollywood and their journey to find their own identity. Seeing Nico at first glance, I would have never guessed the experienced they have been through: from their battle with alcoholism to their journey to find their own identity and their marriage to Bethany.

Reading Space Between made me feel as if I was going through their experiences with them. I was able to learn about how they identity as non-binary and their pronouns of choice being they/them. As a reader, you also experience part of his family history, his struggles with addiction and his road to sobriety. We also have insight about the people that have influenced Nico’s life and what they have learned from them.

One aspect I loved about book was the Gratitude section as Nico thanks all the people involved in their lives from their family to the cast of Younger for being part of their journey. This quote in the Preface was one that I loved from the book: “By telling my story, I hope to give something back to you. Storytelling is art – the art of healing. I’ve known that since I was stage-acting in Chicago as a teenager. The craft, my first great love. As much as I still love this art form and will continue to pursue it, I’m more interested in telling my own story, in playing the most authentic version of myself, rather than retelling someone else’s. Only then will I actually be able to give all of myself to the characters written for me. I have always believed I would never feel totally successful until I knew I was able to make an offering to the world.

At the end of the book Nico states “What matter isn’t that we get things wrong, or that we don’t see every angle – that’s just part of being a person. What matter is how we respond to it, and allow ourselves to be changed by it. How humble we can be to accept our mistakes and move forward, embracing that new knowledge with gratitude. It’s all part of learning how to be human in a system that has made all of us less than human, no matter where we’re standing. This quote summarizes Nico’s journey and what we experience through the book about their life and learning experiences.

If you have enjoyed any of Nico’s work in the past, I’d suggest you check out this book as you will learn so much from it. I did not want to put the book down, I also suggest trying the audiobook as it is narrated by Nico as well. This book will take you on a journey you won’t forget. Space Between is available now! ...more

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Sep 17, 2019 Jillian M. rated it really liked it

I really enjoyed this book. It was not the kind of memoir I was expecting. Usually, it's here's where I came from, what I overcame, etc. However, Nico Tortorella is brutally honest from the very first page. It isn't just a story but a reflection on being queer and nonbinary. Nico uses they/them as their pronouns, even though most who know them solely through their work on YOUNGER would expect a cis-hetero man. It was so interesting to read about their journey of self-discovery. The writing style I really enjoyed this book. It was not the kind of memoir I was expecting. Usually, it's here's where I came from, what I overcame, etc. However, Nico Tortorella is brutally honest from the very first page. It isn't just a story but a reflection on being queer and nonbinary. Nico uses they/them as their pronouns, even though most who know them solely through their work on YOUNGER would expect a cis-hetero man. It was so interesting to read about their journey of self-discovery. The writing style is very conversational, as if you were sitting with Nico over a cup of coffee while they told you their story. There is a lot of swearing and it's very graphic, especially on the topic of sex, but it's done in such a genuine way, that you can't help but respect and appreciate what Nico is saying. I learned about sexuality, too, some questions I was always too shy to ask my nonbinary and polyamorous friends (Nico is both; though their marriage LOOKS to be a heteronormative one, Bethany is also nonbinary).

In addition to the focus on Nico's sexuality, they reflect on their addictions and their relationship to art. Again, treated with transparency, no sugar coating whatsoever, Nico reflects on the sensations that drove them towards self-destruction repeatedly and the replacement of their destructive behaviors with healthy, creative ones, including their podcast THE LOVE BOMB, which examined the various ways in which their guests experienced and practiced love, and making art. (I believe they've exhibited in New York.)

Overall, I didn't go into the book with high expectations, as I usually suspect celebrities of using ghostwriters, but this book was an incredible surprise. I don't think anyone but Nico could tell their story with such bluntness and yet it is so introspective, so eye-opening to what it's like to question yourself, your drive, your vices, your sexuality, the very core of what it means to be true to yourself and those you love. If you love LGBTQIA+ reads, you DEFINITELY need this on your shelf! ...more

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Feb 01, 2020 Jessica White rated it it was amazing

I first met Nico through their character Josh on Younger.
So when I saw they were writing a book, I immediately had to have it.
That being said, I had no idea what to expect from Nico's life.

Space Between: The Exploration of Love, Sex, and Fluidity.
Nico has always felt like they needed to explore their sexuality and what exactly that would mean for their family, career, and overall well-being. Recently, Nico has decided to use they/them pronouns. Their gender fluidity is constantly moving, adapti ...more

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Nov 13, 2019 Ryan rated it really liked it

Shelves: lgbtq, memoir-biography

Talk about an honest and open memoir. Nico doesn't hold back when discussing their relationships, addictions, spirituality, gender and sexuality. Their openness to lay themselves bare, was refreshing. It was also jarring at times. It's not often a celebrity or someone who has a platform, is as open and honest as this memoir was. It certainly could backfire, or cause that star's shine to dim, if the public isn't ready for what they have to say. I applaud the risk.
I found Nico's observations on ge ...more

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Nov 24, 2019 Sara Chapman rated it it was amazing

I'm not sure where to even start my review on this book because it has so many layers! It's like my favorite food - an onion! I have just recently started to understand better what it means to be white privileged. I have just recently started to learn more about LGBTQIA. I feel ashamed for being 30 years old and just realizing that I, myself am a white privileged women. That is why I wanted to read Space Between, so I can keep growing and learning.

I loved this passage at the end of the book...

" ...more

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Jun 12, 2020 Josh Horton rated it really liked it

I remember watching Nico in the TV show The Following. I won't deny I was attracted to them.

When I saw they wrote a book, I had to read it. Nico is non-binary and gender-fluid. This book is their memoir detail Nic's journey through their sexuality, spirituality, and their struggles with addiction. I was intrigued by their voice for the most part. Theirs is an interesting journey that made me start to question what gender really means/looks like. Why are we obsessed with masculinity and feminini ...more

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Nov 03, 2019 Beth M. rated it it was amazing

“My gender and my sexuality are not defined by what I wear, or even whom I’m sleeping with at any given point. They are defined by who I am. Which is something that is constantly changing as I critique myself and grow as a person. Every new thing I learn changes who I am and how I understand my place in the world. This is my fluidity, this is my space between.”

My first “introduction” to Nico Tortorella was a few years ago when the hit TV Land show Younger debuted. (If you haven’t seen it, you’re ...more

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Mar 03, 2020 Nicole rated it really liked it

Reading a non-fiction was one of my 2020 reading goals and I am so impressed with the book I chose. Space Between is an autobiographical look into Nico Tortorella’s life. Nico does not use the pronouns he/she but references they/them/their in reference to oneself. In the theme of the book I will be doing my review this way. This book was completely eye opening for me. As the tag line states it is “explorations of love, sex and fluidity.” Nico poetically and candidly delves into all the details o ...more

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Jun 14, 2020 Jackson Theofore Lara rated it it was ok

I don't think I've ever seen this actor act, so I had no preconceived notions prior to reading this book. However, I found the whole book to be pretentious. He has the whole "My life is better than yours" attitude down. Even when he was using drugs, he flaunts his life as an example of total hedonists abandon, which later turns into a hippie-dippy love fest of himself as he is. The book is weirdly preachy, which comes off quite oddly from a pretty, white, cisgender playing actor, with a wife, al ...more

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Sep 17, 2019 Lolanae rated it really liked it

This was a beautiful insight into Nico's mind. They are open with their history and past in this book. Throughout the entire time reading it, I felt like I was sitting with them, having a conversation. There were some moments that seemed embellished, and Nico even points that out, but who hasn't done something similar when they are telling a story? Nico brings to light the darker parts of their past, and as a fan of theirs, it was eye opening to see what they had been going through during the ti ...more

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Nov 07, 2019 Traci rated it really liked it

Shelves: bisexual

3.5 stars.
I suppose I'm an unusual Nico Tortorella fan? I don't even remember how I came to know about them. I don't believe I have ever seen them act. But I did love their podcast series. The number of out-and-proud bisexual celebrities is still a short list, so I try to support the ones who are. Their philosophies of love and relationship closely mirror my own, which is why I appreciate their podcast so much. This book is good, too. As always, it's odd to read a memoir by someone so young. I c ...more

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About Nico Tortorella

Nico Tortorella

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Nico Tortorella is an actor, television personality, and author of the poetry collection all of it is you. Nico stars in the hit series Younger and is an outspoken advocate for the LGBTQIA+ community. They live in New York.