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Letters to a Dead Friend about Zen

Brad Warner

4.31 · Rating details · 49 ratings · 14 reviews

The night Brad Warner learns that his childhood friend Marky has died, Warner is about to speak to a group of Zen students in Hamburg, Germany. It's the last thing he feels like doing. What he wants to do instead is tell his friend everything he never said, to explain Zen and what he does for a living and why he spends his time "Sitting. Sitting. Sitting. Meditating my ...more

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Paperback, 272 pages

Published October 8th 2019 by New World Library

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Nov 12, 2019 Gabrielle rated it it was amazing

Shelves: buddhism, non-fiction, own-a-copy, philosophy, zen, read-in-2019, reviewed

“Zen Buddhism, to me, is an attitude. (…) It’s an attitude that strives for honesty and realism. It rejects superstition. It rejects any kind of rigid belief system. It strives to be ethical because it understands that we are all intimately connected with each other and that hurting others only hurts ourselves. It accepts that rituals are useful but doesn’t believe any ritual has magic powers.”

Is it ironic of me to say, “Amen!” right here?

Brad Warner was in Germany, about to lead a meditation “Zen Buddhism, to me, is an attitude. (…) It’s an attitude that strives for honesty and realism. It rejects superstition. It rejects any kind of rigid belief system. It strives to be ethical because it understands that we are all intimately connected with each other and that hurting others only hurts ourselves. It accepts that rituals are useful but doesn’t believe any ritual has magic powers.”

Is it ironic of me to say, “Amen!” right here?

Brad Warner was in Germany, about to lead a meditation retreat, when he learned that his friend Marky Moon had passed away. He had never discussed his Zen practice with Marky, but now that he was no longer around, he found himself writing down the things he wished he had talked about with him before he died. The result is a uniquely framed “Zen 101” book, that newbies and more experienced Zen nerds will both find informative and entertaining.

The letter format is brilliant, because it gives Warner an opportunity to discuss often complicated and nebulous Buddhist topics in his friendly conversational style, and to give very concrete, everyday life examples that literally anyone can relate to and understand. He’s still a nerd, still a punk and still an irreverent smart-ass, but you’d be missing out if you wrote him off based on that.

As Zen 101 books go, this is a great one, precisely because of how accessible and not intimidating it is. I have recently had a couple of friends who started asking me questions about Zen, and I will happily and confidently put that book in their hands. Warner covers everything you need to know, from the history of Buddhism, the life of the Buddha, the Noble Truths, Eightfold Path, the Precepts and all the basic stuff, but also gives clear information on concepts like attachment, emptiness, karma and discusses the trends in Western Buddhism that he believes people need to be careful about, such as the use of drugs, the activism angle and all the charlatanism that inevitably comes along when something is mainstreamed. He also tackled a couple of slightly less traditional topics that nevertheless need to be addressed: namely, the conversation about Western Buddhism as cultural appropriation, and the rash of scandals within Buddhist communities.

Warner definitely hasn’t lost his touch, and a sane, grounded voice like his is needed more than ever for people getting into Zen, or looking to deepen their practice and take it off their meditation cushion. I can’t recommend this (and all of his books) enough. ...more

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Oct 16, 2019 Jeremy rated it it was amazing

Possibly one of his best books. Even though it's fictionalized, there's a real, personal quality to the letters, and it works as a great medium for explaining the concepts he covers. One of the thinks I like most about Brad Warner is that he doesn't try to be an authority - he's just sharing his experience and interpretations, and I think that works much better for getting the message across than ... well, to name a couple of things I've encountered in other people's books, playing word games ...more

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Oct 09, 2019 Peter Clothier rated it it was amazing

(This is a review that imitates the author's epistolary style)

Dear Brad Warner,

I have a few thoughts about your new book, “Letters to a Dead Friend About Zen.” (They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I hope you’ll forgive this clumsy appropriation of your letter-writing style!) The dead friend of the title and the one you write to, Marky, is---well, was—a punk rocker like yourself, a black musician who died of cancer at much too young an age. Your letters build an (This is a review that imitates the author's epistolary style)

Dear Brad Warner,

I have a few thoughts about your new book, “Letters to a Dead Friend About Zen.” (They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I hope you’ll forgive this clumsy appropriation of your letter-writing style!) The dead friend of the title and the one you write to, Marky, is---well, was—a punk rocker like yourself, a black musician who died of cancer at much too young an age. Your letters build an endearing portrait of the man—and not incidentally of yourself, the letter writer, Soto Zen teacher at the Angel City Zen Center in Los Angeles, filmmaker and bass guitarist as well as an itinerant guest lecturer—and suggest a loving bond between you, an intimacy that it’s nice to be let in on.

Given this relationship, it’s natural that you’d write to him with the slangy familiarity of a couple of musician pals. It’s not my language, so I honestly found it quite difficult to adjust to; I worried, from the start, that it would prove just too hip, even a bit condescending, at least for this reader. But don’t worry. I got over it.

And I found plenty of good stuff. (I hate that word, and wish you wouldn’t use it as much as you do. But then, I use it too, so I’m hardly in a position to complain.) Anyway, I’d like to thank you for a solid introduction to Zen—a branch of the Buddhist tree that has attracted me from afar, but with which I have little familiarity. I did spend a week sitting zazen on Mt. Baldy in the early days of my own Buddhist education, but that was long ago. I branched off elsewhere.

What I like particularly is that you do not make it easy. There are a zillion books out there that make Buddhism in all its forms sound like an easy answer to life’s many problems—and we have enough of them, in this contemporary world! Meditation and mindfulness are all the rage, and there’s no shortage of people—including those in the book-publishing business—who are all too happy to cash in on it. You make no such promises. On the contrary, you stress constantly that the practice of Zen is a long, hard road, and one that requires dedication, determination, and years of hard work. I like that you revert frequently to the example of your own life and admit freely to your failings along the way as well as your successes. Buddhism is no sinecure.

I share your distrust of easy answers, and of teachers who offer them. I share your skepticism when it comes to religions and putative gods of all kinds. Your practical, no-nonsense approach to the conundrums with which life and death confront us appeals to my own learned sense of what I hope is healthy pragmatism. When it comes to the unanswerable questions, you honor the beliefs of others with the proper respect, but test them out with astute critical analysis.

I like that you are unafraid to tackle the unanswerable questions, however, and that you do not make light of the sometimes difficult and confusing concepts that Buddhism requires us to address. You do so forthrightly, and with both humility and clarity. Humility when it comes to not claiming to possess the right, or the only answers; clarity in being able to write about those concepts so that we can understand them. Most of us have a hard time with the Heart Sutra, for example: “form is emptiness, emptiness is form.” A conundrum, if ever there was one, not unlike other widely misunderstood or easily diluted concepts like no-self.. Rather than offering explanations, your clarity seems to offer us a way to get in on the secret, helping us to be comfortable with paradox and contradiction, to be open to meaning even when it’s hard to come to a rational understanding.

I like that you are knowledgeable about other branches of the Buddhist tree than Zen, and that you are able to bring that knowledge to bare sparingly, and appropriately. That you can refer us without pretension to literary sources and other fields of thought, providing us with historical, religious and philosophical context. I like that you share your obvious familiarity with many of the colorful characters who have followed in the Buddha’s path, and that you write about them with humorous affection for their foibles. That you make them come as alive for us as they seem to be for you.

I feel obliged to add that there’s some iffy stuff (that word again!) The big one is the reveal that comes at the end of your book, where your very last sentence reads, “And I apologize for lying to you.” Yes. You lied. I won’t be more specific because that would be a spoiler and I want other people to read your book. But I have to say that your last letter, this one addressed not to Marky but to your “Dear Readers,” felt like a slap in the face. You wrote eloquently about the Buddha’s Eightfold Path, one element of which is Right Speech; and about the precepts common to all branches of Buddhism, one of the most basic of which is the injunction: “Don’t lie.” So when I read that you’d been lying to me all along, I was pretty much outraged. Having been taken in by it all I quite honestly felt betrayed…

But then my outrage made me think again. Perhaps I should think of this slap-in-the-face as a kind of Zen wake-up call. Do they still use the keisaku in the zendo, that rod they smack across your shoulders in zazen when you get sloppy or sleepy? Or do contemporary Western sensibilities forbid that kind of physical correction? Anyway, that’s how it felt. So maybe I should read your whole book as a kind of Zen koan, one of those stories you also write about, the kind that often ends with the teacher rewarding the student with a nasty jab—or a kick in the pants—as the inscrutable answer to some absurd, unanswerable question. To jolt him past the quagmire of doubts and questions into enlightenment. Perhaps I needed this reminder, at the end of your book, of the Buddha’s injunction not to take anything for granted, to distrust even teachers, to distrust even his great wisdom, and return to the evidence of my own eyes, my own tested experience. Perhaps I needed that shock to remind me that it all comes back to the present moment.

Which is after all why we learn to just sit. So, okay, thanks, Brad. I enjoyed your sometimes perilous travels in Europe too. And your book is a good read, a good reminder. So, ta-ta for now. Be well. Your friend, Peter

...more

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Jan 12, 2020 Me rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites

I had recently left Shambhala and a Zen group. (I found Shambhala to be a big shit sandwich of deceptions founded by a coke addict child molester) I was very tired of reading Buddhist books and listening to Buddhist teachers. I feel like walking my dogs and picking him up their crap tells me more about the dharma at this point. That being said and having taken time off of reading, I picked up Brad’s books on a whim. I am very glad I did. He has a no nonsense and fun way of explaining Zen. This ...more

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Oct 15, 2019 Tristy at New World Library rated it it was amazing

Shelves: spirituality, mindfulness, meditation

Endorsements:
“Warner is unafraid of sharing his own beliefs and doubts and freely questions Buddhism itself. While loaded with pop culture references and dark humor, his explanations of Zen philosophy are steeped in tradition, well researched, and ultimately respectful of the practice. . . . Warner’s voice is much needed in American Buddhism.”
— Library Journal

“Warner provides an intimate, candid reflection of his Zen practice and his career as a writer and speaker in this touching work. . . . ...more

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Nov 17, 2019 Stan rated it it was amazing

I don't write many reviews of non-fiction books, but in Brad Warner's case I always make an exception. He has done a great job in introducing very complex ideas about zen to English readers, in particular about Dogen.
In this book, he writes a series of letters to a recently deceased friend, in which he goes about introducing a lot of basic information about what Buddhism and Zen in particular are really like, in a way that is not contrived, not preachy, and definitely not boring.
If you haven't ...more

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Dec 31, 2019 J.T. rated it it was amazing

No unbiased or fair review here, I love Warner’s work. This is a great addition to his body of work.

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Dec 20, 2019 Matthew James Herny Barram rated it it was amazing

Really enjoyed this book. I have read Brad's other books and this is the most intro one. I could recommend it to someone interested in Zen who hasn't done much or any sitting and I think they could get a sense of it.

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Nov 23, 2019 Scott rated it really liked it

Brad’s original title for this was Zen 101 and it lives up to that billing, being a sort of introduction to Zen and Buddhism in general. There’s no shortage of such books around and even as introductions go it’s not particularly deep, but the format, the engaging writing style and the humor make for an enjoyable read. Reader’s of Brad’s other books might not find much new here but for those who’ve never read him, it could make for a good first book to tackle.

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Jan 13, 2020 Danny Martin rated it it was amazing

Another nice piece of writing by Brad Warner. This one is an interesting approach to taking a look at Zen, and is done in a creative way, as Brad discusses what Zen's all about to a composite of a couple of dead friends. A unique enjoyable approach to the subject.

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Dec 16, 2019 Justin rated it really liked it

One of the author's more enjoyable books. That being said, it seemed to mostly rehash Zen Buddhism 101 material

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Nov 12, 2019 Skrot rated it it was amazing

Beautiful, moving, useful. Great, great book.

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Dec 26, 2019 Ron Semerena rated it it was amazing

Liked the book very much. I’ve read all of Warner’s books and feel this one to be among his best. I would recommend this to anyone interested in a basic understanding of Zen Buddhism.

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Dec 13, 2019 Nicholas rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Really really good!

Very easy to read and entertaining as well as informative. Also very unique. I've read all of Brad Warner's books and this is probably my favorite!

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About Brad Warner

Brad Warner

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Brad Warner is an ordained Zen Master (though he hates that term) in the Soto lineage founded in Japan by Master Dogen Zenji in the 13th century. He's the bass player for the hardcore punk rock group 0DFx (aka Zero Defex) and the ex-vice president of the Los Angeles office of the company founded by the man who created Godzilla.

Brad was born in Hamilton, Ohio in 1964. In 1972, his family relocated ...more