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Impossible James

Danger Slater (Goodreads Author)

4.39 · Rating details · 64 ratings · 33 reviews

My father was dying. There was no hope. Then he took a screwdriver to the brain. Got pregnant. And found the cure for death.

Impossible? That's my dad.

IMPOSSIBLE JAMES ...more

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Paperback, 224 pages

Published June 15th 2019 by Fungasm Press

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· 64 ratings · 33 reviews

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Apr 25, 2019 Eddie Generous rated it it was amazing

Unnerving Magazine Review

Listen to my interview with the author here: https://www.unnervingmagazine.com/sin...

Absolutely nuts. Hilarious with a pace set so quickly you have no time to question what remains of your sanity. Wild. Frantic. Oddly motivating. ...more

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Jun 04, 2019 Frank rated it really liked it

I can't review this right now. I have to interview Danger about this book for a fourth coming episode of Bizzong!
All will be revealed then.
And then I'll leave a better written review here. ...more

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Jun 17, 2019 Ben Arzate rated it it was amazing

Shelves: books-i-own, ebooks

Full Review

Impossible James is an absurd and hilarious story about family and relationships with a lot of heart. It tells a ridiculous story while exploring the difficult and painful aspects of romantic and familial relationships. It's an excellent example of what the bizarro genre is capable of in terms of storytelling and exploring truths both beautiful and ugly. ...more

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Aug 22, 2019 Leo Robertson rated it liked it

Amusing and amusingly grotesque comedy body horror about life, death and the death of death!

Slater is a great and original storyteller. His skills undoubtedly being in place, in future I’d like to see his prose stand on its own merit without certain quirks: varying chapter length, lengthy digressions, poioumena, many flashes both forward and back, third person narrative told by largely absent first person narrator--sparingly, these all work--all of them together was a bit much for me.

I'm quite ...more

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Jun 04, 2019 Steve Stred rated it really liked it · review of another edition

** Edited as the review is now live on Kendall Reviews!! **

Danger Slater was my first foray into true, full-on Bizarro fiction last year, when I read ‘I Will Rot Without You.’ I didn’t really know what to expect and at the time I said I’d probably not read more Bizarro. My brain actually functions very closely to how Danger’s books read, but overall I’m a horror fan through and through.

Saying all of that – Danger Slater is an author and Twitter user whose hustle I admire. He’s honest, upfront an ** Edited as the review is now live on Kendall Reviews!! **

Danger Slater was my first foray into true, full-on Bizarro fiction last year, when I read ‘I Will Rot Without You.’ I didn’t really know what to expect and at the time I said I’d probably not read more Bizarro. My brain actually functions very closely to how Danger’s books read, but overall I’m a horror fan through and through.

Saying all of that – Danger Slater is an author and Twitter user whose hustle I admire. He’s honest, upfront and I respect that if he says to message him about something, he’ll message back. There’s no smoke and mirrors with him – what you see is what you get.

Impossible James synopsis is misleading. Actually, scratch that – it is accurate because what Slater says will happen, happens. It’s inaccurate in its marketing approach. Why’s that?

Danger Slater is (gasp, cough, choke) maturing. Maybe not as a person, but as a writer, definitely.

Buried within the totally insane and crazy going-ons in this book are three other narratives. One such arc Slater (when writing as the narrator) breaks the forth wall and tells us directly – it’s a different take on the Frankenstein tale. A mad scientist, a test tube product and a trustworthy assistant. The second arc that really stood out was the sci-fi tale of The Grey Tide. The ‘amazon’ style work place and what happens as Jimmy Watson Jr. finds the cure for death and the world begins to melt down. I was stunned with the depth and fleshing out Slater poured into this part of the tale. He has the writing chops to produce a world-class sci-fi story sitting there already. If he were to expand upon that idea and run with it, I’d be a first day buyer.

The third side arc or plot line that I found utterly fascinating was the mature Danger Slater musing about life and death. There were some of the most breathtaking lines included. It felt foreign to me, that I was reading a book about a man who had a screwdriver impaled in his head and decided to impregnate himself and that I would re-read whole paragraphs regarding philosophy and Slater’s insight into someone with a terminal diagnosis.

And this becomes the crucial part to me as to why I ultimately gave this read a 4-star rating versus a 5-star rating. The stuff that would normally annoy me – I looked passed it, because of both author and genre. I need to remember to suspend my real life feelings towards how professionals should act and societal norms etc when reading Bizarro. I chuckled aloud when James Watson was given only 50 more years to live when finding out about the black spot on his brain. If Slater would have dropped that to 5 years instead of 50 I think he could get some folks emotional and some tears would have been shed while reading this book.

No, what ultimately dropped this down for me was seeing Slater’s capability of writing one of the best sci-fi or even a philosophical dialogue on man’s fragility and then it would be frequently disrupted by the Frankenstein tale. Look, I loved the Frankenstein tale, but now I know what Slater is capable of and whenever he dangled that literary carrot in front of my face, it would be dragged away into an Adam Sandler-esque scene. If the whole book had been just the James Watson storyline of screwdriver-impregnation and aftermath I would have been just fine, but DAMMIT DANGER why’d you have to offer up so many extra feels? Why did you have to make me think about what’s to come, so much?

Overall this book has so much going for it. Fast, bonkers chapters, which I really dug. Slater is so proficient that at times some chapters were merely a paragraph long but the amount of depth it added to the overall story was stellar. The story unravels like a Michael Bay – Hollywood blockbuster with more and more insane twists happening.

Slater never lets up and the ending works well to finish off this totally bonkers story. Slater has elevated himself from his peers with this release and I’m looking forward to seeing what he has in store coming up. I received this book as a pre-release digital ARC so I’m not dinging any stars or anything for some editing issues, I’m going to assume those will be dealt with long before the release date!

Cheers to Slater for writing this book and sending it out into the world. I think this book works well if it’s your first Bizarro read, first Slater read, or if you’ve been a long-time fan of the man known as Danger. ...more

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Aug 26, 2019 Luke Kondor rated it it was amazing

It's as if Danger sat down and thought "What would Luke like to read?" and then set out to do just that.

Thanks, Danger!

Also, it isn't often that a book can make me howl with laughter but this book did it more than once. ...more

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May 20, 2019 Lori rated it it was amazing

Shelves: fiction, indie-must-haves, arc-reviewers-copy, signed-by-author, bizarro, a-big-steaming-heap-of-wtf-ery

Listen up people. This is the shiznit right here! I've been a big fan of Danger's writing for a while now. He continues to get better and better with each novel he puts out and you gotta believe me when I tell you he is fucking killing it right now. Impossible James is undoubtedly his finest novel to date. Not only is the story absofuckinglutely fabulous but the storytelling, and pacing... it's simply top notch!

No. Wait. Don't believe me. Go read it for yourself. And then come back so I can tel ...more

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Jun 08, 2019 Tracy Robinson rated it really liked it

“It wasn’t ineptitude that was his burden, merely left-handedness.”

Impossible James afforded me the chance to step outside my comfortable reality to a world where anything can and will happen. The first chapter had me in tears, the doctor James’ father sees is a master at dry humor. He’s a terrible doctor and I like the way Slater uses this opportunity to set the tone for the rest of the book.

Because while this doctor is imparting devastating news, the delivery is irreverent and leads the reade “It wasn’t ineptitude that was his burden, merely left-handedness.”

Impossible James afforded me the chance to step outside my comfortable reality to a world where anything can and will happen. The first chapter had me in tears, the doctor James’ father sees is a master at dry humor. He’s a terrible doctor and I like the way Slater uses this opportunity to set the tone for the rest of the book.

Because while this doctor is imparting devastating news, the delivery is irreverent and leads the reader to confront the death sentence behind the safety of humor. I don’t want to give away too much here, part of the enjoyment surrounding this scene is discovering it for yourself. Themes of death (we all die), time (clocks are prevalent throughout), and family are set up in a non-traditional way and I dig it.

I haven’t read a lot of bizarro fiction, so I decided the best way for me to experience this book was to just let go of control, of everything that dictated the way I thought it should happen, and I took a leap of faith. This is what I tend to do with most reads, place my head and my heart wholly in the author’s hands, but bizarro can push us to resist that – to say “well this is nonsensical and I’m out.”

I appreciated the challenge and I’m glad I did it. At one point the narrator says something about just skipping to the end because reading the end first wouldn’t matter SO I DID. And I survived, and nothing was ruined for me. I trusted.

“…what should exist, either natural or not? By any metric one could measure such things, life on Earth is improbable at best. And yet here we are, me and you and everyone else. It’s a miracle. But it’s a miracle that comes with a price.”

By now this author-reader trust was well established for me. Insane, batshit crazy things happen that just blast out from the page. Screwdriver in the head? What if that is JUST what the character needed? Male pregnancy with NO female egg? Sure thing, let’s do this. Impossible Room? Yep, makes sense. I think the key for why I enjoyed this so much is that once I accepted the bizarre as normative, the underlying threads pulled all the harder. The above quote is one example of nuggets spread throughout the novel – the rest is up to the reader. And I’m here for that.

Slater has a back catalog that I can’t wait to get into. If there is no larger meaning, fine. If there is? Great. Whatever happens, I’m here for it. ...more

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Jun 24, 2019 Ben Fitts rated it it was amazing

Shelves: horror, science-fiction, dystopia, post-apocalyptic, humor, bizarro-fiction, epistolary-fiction

I Will Rot Without You may be Danger Slater’s most heartfelt book, Love Me may be his funniest and Puppet Skin may pack the most thrills, but Impossible James is certainly his SMARTEST book to date. Filled with nuanced, philosophical musings and skewering social satire, Impossible James is the kind of book that makes you simultaneously feel both smarter and dumber for having read it.

But is it Danger Slater’s best book? Well, I guess that depends entirely on what you’re looking for in your bizarr ...more

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Jun 19, 2019 Kevin Berg rated it really liked it

“What can one say when confronted with the irrevocable certainty of their own doom?”

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Jun 24, 2019 Amy Vaughn rated it it was amazing

Impossible James is a very good time in which very bad things happen. I enjoyed it immensely. The tone is light, the laughs are many, and before you know it you’re completely engulfed in a scene so vile or perilous or just plain weird—but mostly just so huge and all-encompassing—that there’s no way to stop reading until a modicum of resolution has been reached.

And a modicum is all we’re going to get. This book hurtles from a nearly recognizable present, through a delightfully preposterous set o ...more

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Aug 29, 2019 Brendan rated it it was amazing

Danger does it again! His latest is a meditation on death that manages to be hilarious, heartwarming, and horrifying all at the same time. Imagine if David Cronenberg directed Junior and then combine that with Atwood’s Oryx and Crake. A strange combination, I know, but this is one hell of a strange book. I loved every page and I’m continuously impressed by Slater’s ability as a wordsmith and storyteller. A must-read.

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Sep 08, 2019 Jo Quenell rated it it was amazing

Danger Slater is one of those writers that manages to get better and better with each book. Impossible James is his best yet, veering further into the weird horror direction of his particular style. This one gets GROSS.

When somebody is curious as to what bizarro is, Danger is the direction I point them to. This book is a perfect example of how chaotic yet smart the weird little genre can be.

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Aug 28, 2019 John Watson rated it it was amazing

Shelves: paperback

If I was a smarter man, I would dig deeper into the yarns that Danger Slater spins to find some hidden meaning. Instead, I allow the strangeness to wash over me, much like the killer Gray Tide in this one. If you haven't read anything by Mr. Slater yet, this is a great place to begin. ...more

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Jul 07, 2019 Isaac Thorne rated it really liked it

If there be such creatures in the world of bizarro fiction, Danger Slater's protagonists often caution readers to not seek meaning in what they've just ingested. Jimmy Watson Jr, son of the Impossible James of this title and narrator of this novel, tells you the same thing. If there is meaning, he says, it's been lost already. You can reread the book if you want, but the words and sentences do not change.

He has a point.

However, there is no denying that Danger Slater's Impossible James is a disti ...more

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Jun 20, 2019 Shane Blackheart rated it it was amazing

This book was a ride from beginning to end. There were many twists and turns, and back and forths, but in the end, they all came together and, somehow, it all worked. And it was something I can't really properly put words to, but I'll try. Possible spoilers ahead, maybe.

James is a nobody with nothing and no one. He's not successful by any stretch and leads the world's most boring, unfortunate life possible. His wife wasn't even nice to him, and he's infertile. Of course, when he walks into his d This book was a ride from beginning to end. There were many twists and turns, and back and forths, but in the end, they all came together and, somehow, it all worked. And it was something I can't really properly put words to, but I'll try. Possible spoilers ahead, maybe.

James is a nobody with nothing and no one. He's not successful by any stretch and leads the world's most boring, unfortunate life possible. His wife wasn't even nice to him, and he's infertile. Of course, when he walks into his doctor's office one day, he finds out that everything will just get worse. Everything always did for James. That is, until the end, which I'm not even sure how to describe, other than the fact that James finally becomes something much bigger than what he ever thought he was capable. Quite literally.

And all because of a screwdriver. All because of pure, near impossible luck does he find a purpose and more meaningful outlook. And that's where Impossible James finds his life's goal.

I'm a sucker for philosophy, and this book was filled with it. I stopped a few times and went into thought about a lot of it, and it made me think deeper about myself as a person, what it means to be alive, and what it means to have goals. What it means to have fears, and what fears are even there for. I'm an irrationally fearful person of about, well, everything, so this was an unexpected and interesting trip during my reading of Impossible James.

Also, the twisted quantum physics-like science? Super interesting. (If I'm even thinking of the right kind of science here. I know scant about quantum physics, but I think that's what I'm going for. I could be completely in left field and people are scratching their heads at me right now.)

Danger has a very interesting mind, and I found myself unable to stop turning pages. Even though we know the outcome, and we know inevitably how everything happens before it happens -- sort of -- you still want to read more. You must know the little details in between, and they help to paint such a grotesque picture that it's almost impossible to conjure in your mind. Thankfully, Danger's vivid and disturbing descriptions do the work just fine. And they are grotesque. For example, imagine a flesh room. A room with bones growing out of the wood. Rooms that act as organ gardens to keep a house consumed by a man's deformed, growing body alive.

I will admit, I haven't read much in this genre yet, but based on what I have read so far, this book made me realize that I really do love bizarro fiction. I read this in one day, taking a break in between. I knew I wanted to process something like this all at once instead of splitting it up, and I'm glad I did. At least, the philosopher in me wouldn't let me put it down. Can I mention enough how that was one of my favorite things about this book?

It was definitely written in a curious way, with 116 chapters (I believe they were chapters) and three parts. I won't look too deep into it, unless there's a deeper reasoning, which my brain always wants to find. I could have missed something there, but that's not important.

What is important is if you love books that make you think, definitely give this a read. If you have a weak stomach, though, be prepared for some pretty wicked imagery, such as body parts being detached and sewn back on, and amateur surgery to disembowel poor James, although it didn't really seem to bother him too much. In fact, in this world, people (and animals) seem to survive some pretty crazy and awful body horrors.

Lastly, the ending? This isn't a bad thing, but it... just is. It is what it is. Maybe that's a part of the philosophical message of the whole thing, in which case, message delivered.

This is something you have to read for yourself to get the full effect. No review is probably going to be able to properly convey how interesting, and kind of brilliant, this book is. So give it a read. ...more

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Jul 08, 2020 Jesse Guillon rated it it was amazing

As someone who Snopes assures me is Marianne Williamson but everyone else claims was Nelson Mandela and I always thought was Einstein once said, “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” I don’t think she ever pictured such a phrase as being relevant to a man getting a screwdriver stuck in his head and growing his own clone in his guts, but I wanted to start this review with a famous quote and that’s the first one that ca As someone who Snopes assures me is Marianne Williamson but everyone else claims was Nelson Mandela and I always thought was Einstein once said, “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” I don’t think she ever pictured such a phrase as being relevant to a man getting a screwdriver stuck in his head and growing his own clone in his guts, but I wanted to start this review with a famous quote and that’s the first one that came to mind, so here we are.

Impossible James is the story of a man with no prospects and no hope discovering his light, his power - a brilliance which changes the world for the better at first, before reminding us why the world would’ve been better off had he continued to fear his light.

The book slaps chronological storytelling in the face, twisting its timeline in and around itself in a manner similar to the titular character’s intestines during his pregnancy. It’s some weird combination of body-horror and body-humour which treats issues like mortality and events like auto-brain surgery like a Looney Tunes skit. In the first few pages, we’re introduced to a doctor who’s like a character from a cartoon sitcom, and the cast just gets zanier from that point on.

The laughs were expected, but I wasn’t prepared for some of the individual sentences to hit me with as much emotional gravity as they did. Take note, other authors; this is how you put philosophy into a story. If the novella were more self-serious, a lot of these observations and ideas might’ve fallen on deaf ears. Much like how it’s often easier for a children’s cartoon to make you cry than the driest of adult dramas, the wackadoodle nature of this book helps it to put tidbits of profundity across more clearly, as the narrative never takes itself either too seriously or not seriously enough.

It’s a tale about not only the transience of life, but the need that people (maybe artists more than anyone else) feel to leave something bigger than themselves behind after they’re gone. Maybe bizarro is so niche that none of our stories will ever do that for us, but, well, there are worse monuments an author could leave behind than this book. 4.5 black brain growths out of 5. ...more

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Nov 11, 2019 Samantha rated it really liked it

This book reads like a fever-dream or LSD trip. It is my first Bizarro read ever. It jumps around, but is easy to keep track of where you're supposed to be in its crazy grasp. It feels like it addresses the concept of human existentialism constantly without solving it, which is exactly what being alive feels like every day - just put into a context that is extraordinary. At first, I didn't like that there were no page numbers. Then I came to the realization that like life, we don't really know w ...more

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Dec 19, 2019 A. Sneve rated it it was amazing

Impossibly entertaining; an excellent read. "Impossible James" is the story of a put-upon average Joe who stands up and says NO: NO to death, NO to the mind-numbing monotony of his former life, and NO to whomever and whatever no longer serves him (fake friends, a-hole exes, etc). After a shattering medical diagnosis, he shucks his former life like a pair of soiled pants and proceeds to raise hell, embarking on a world-altering metamorphosis which involves flooding the world with carbon copies of ...more

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Jul 01, 2019 J. Peter W. rated it really liked it

Cloning is described as a process that can be used to produce genetically identical copies of a biological entity. The copied material, containing the exact same genetic makeup as the original, is referred to as the clone.

There are four different types of cloning: gene cloning, reproductive cloning, therapeutic cloning, and James Watson cloning.

Gene cloning produces copies of genes or segments of DNA. Reproductive cloning produces copies of whole animals. Therapeutic cloning produces embryonic ...more

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Jul 10, 2020 James G. Carlson rated it it was amazing

No one should open the pages of Danger Slater's 'Impossible James' with anything more than the synopsis on the back cover. Anything more would be cheating oneself of the full experience. Rather than hand out details about the book's plot and characters, I'll say that Slater is an outstanding writer whose prose is quick and sharp, and whose material marries the surreal with the mundane in such a way that the mind simultaneously recoils in disgust and hungrily craves more. With an undeniable wit c ...more

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Jul 14, 2019 Zach rated it it was amazing

Shelves: satire, speculative-fiction, horror, bizarro-fiction, humor, science-fiction

This technically qualifies as a biopunk novel. I will not be taking questions at this time.

Seriously, though, there's a lot going on in this book -- narratively, philosophically, viscerally. Impossible James is sort of like if Kurt Vonnegut and David Cronenberg co-wrote an early 90s Nickelodeon cartoon. It gets gross at points, but does so to draw attention to the absurdity of your own temporary meatparts. Artful grossness.

The narrative paces its weird revelations well, alternating between the b ...more

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Jun 24, 2019 Justin Day rated it it was amazing

Impossible James is a fantastically bizarre meditation on the self and what it takes to exist in the world today as well as our relationships with family. I know that is broad, but I'm not really into spoiling books. Told in an engaging way, this book will open your eyes to some existential understanding while at the same time being laugh out loud funny. It's a weird juxtaposition, but I think it is Danger Slater's greatest strength! Just read it!

Sniff Test:

When you first sniff it, this book com ...more

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Jul 14, 2019 Wayne W rated it really liked it

This my first book full length book in this category. I'm impressed. Danger Slater, does it right. I was reading this with my jaw dropped the whole time. What a great concept. You know it'll never happen, that's why it's impossible but, at the same time you're thinking. What if it did? This grey tide is scary. ...more

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Jul 02, 2019 David rated it it was amazing

This is a weird, wild, fun book. Exactly the sort of thing I read Danger Slater for, though still quite new. Definitely one to check out.

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Aug 18, 2019 Steven rated it it was amazing

Shelves: danger-slater

Excellent!!! What a weird and twisted read. All I can say is it's quite the experience and I would recommend it. Slater has quite the imagination. ...more

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Sep 16, 2019 Jeremy Wallendjack rated it really liked it

I'm hoping this is the second part of a trilogy and the last book will be about the Flatly family and tie everything together. ...more

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Oct 14, 2019 Ola Elnaggar rated it it was amazing

Not a lot of writers are as brave as Danger Slater.

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Nov 01, 2019 Iain MacCallum rated it really liked it · review of another edition

WTF

WTF did I just read? This is a weird and wonderful story that I finished in one sitting. I hadn't read any bizzaro fiction before but I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed this. ...more

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