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The How and the Why
A poignant exploration of family and the ties that bind, perfect for fans of Far From the Tree, from New York Times bestselling author Cynthia Hand.
Today Melly had us writing letters to our babies…
Cassandra McMurtrey has the best parents a girl could ask for. They’ve given Cass a life she wouldn’t trade for the world. She has everything she needs—except maybe the one thing she wants. Like, to know who she is. Where she came from. Questions her adoptive parents can’t answer, no matter how much they love her.
But eighteen years ago, someone wrote Cass a series of letters. And they may just hold the answers Cass has been searching for.
Alternating between Cass’s search for answers and letters from the pregnant teen who gave her up for adoption, this voice-driven narrative is the perfect read for fans of Nina LaCour and Jandy Nelson.
Today Melly had us writing letters to our babies…
Cassandra McMurtrey has the best parents a girl could ask for. They’ve given Cass a life she wouldn’t trade for the world. She has everything she needs—except maybe the one thing she wants. Like, to know who she is. Where she came from. Questions her adoptive parents can’t answer, no matter how much they love her.
But eighteen years ago, someone wrote Cass a series of letters. And they may just hold the answers Cass has been searching for.
Alternating between Cass’s search for answers and letters from the pregnant teen who gave her up for adoption, this voice-driven narrative is the perfect read for fans of Nina LaCour and Jandy Nelson.
464 pages, Hardcover
First published November 5, 2019
97 people are currently reading
12637 people want to read
About the author
Cynthia Hand
30 books9,913 followersCynthia Hand is the New York Times bestselling author of several books for teens, including the UNEARTHLY trilogy, THE LAST TIME WE SAY GOODBYE, MY LADY JANE, MY PLAIN JANE, MY CALAMITY JANE, MY CONTRARY MARY, and MY IMAGINARY MARY (with fellow authors Brodi Ashton and Jodi Meadows), THE AFTERLIFE OF HOLLY CHASE, THE HOW AND THE WHY, WITH YOU ALL THE WAY, and the upcoming TIMELESS and MY SALTY MARY (also with Ashton and Meadows). Before turning to writing for young adults, she studied literary fiction and earned both an M.F.A. and a Ph.D. in fiction writing. She currently resides in Boise, Idaho, with her husband, two cats, one crazy dog, two kids, and mountain of books.
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April 10, 2021I had really been looking forward to reading this one after enjoying another more hard hitting contemporary by this author, and it didn’t disappoint! This was a such a great look at family, and particularly mother daughter relationships. It’s also a story that is both hard hitting and light hearted simultaneously. There’s a lot of emotion but a lot of joy too. I loved following Cass and learning more about her birth mother. Her adoptive parents were so sweet. She had a really powerful support system behind her. For the first time she starts looking more into where she came from and it was really interesting to follow. I enjoyed the multiple plot lines and how they interacted to form the story. The letters from the mother were a powerful addition that really rounded out the story. I will say, I could’ve kind of done without the epilogue but that’s a minor detail. It wrapped up a bit too perfectly. Also I definitely preferred the second half to the first. Not that I didn’t like the first but I preferred when things started to get going. Overall I did really enjoy this one!
November 20, 2019
poignant & realistic YA contemporary. here for it
there's not much to say about the plot that isn't described in the blurb. this story is about cassie who is a senior in high school and going thru a lot: her mom needs a heart transplant, she has a crush on the new guy, she's fighting with her bestie, she's trying to get a scholarship to her dream college and she wants to learn more about her birth mother.
this story is told in dual POVs. cassie's and her birth mom's letters to her that she writes when she is pregnant.
this is not a loud story. this is not another far from the tree by robin benway. it's quieter and frankly more realistic. i think this story will help A LOT of teens. and i like that there aren't a lot of cheap twists used. there are realistic coincidences and there are shitty things that happen and there are also a lot of really beautiful moments too.
the only major complaint that i had was that the "twist" re: the love interest was kind of cliche/expected. and i wish that the love interest's past had been explored more. we get background on cassie's bff but not the love interest and i would have appreciated it/it would have added that extra touch of depth to the story.
overall, loved this.
there's not much to say about the plot that isn't described in the blurb. this story is about cassie who is a senior in high school and going thru a lot: her mom needs a heart transplant, she has a crush on the new guy, she's fighting with her bestie, she's trying to get a scholarship to her dream college and she wants to learn more about her birth mother.
this story is told in dual POVs. cassie's and her birth mom's letters to her that she writes when she is pregnant.
this is not a loud story. this is not another far from the tree by robin benway. it's quieter and frankly more realistic. i think this story will help A LOT of teens. and i like that there aren't a lot of cheap twists used. there are realistic coincidences and there are shitty things that happen and there are also a lot of really beautiful moments too.
the only major complaint that i had was that the "twist" re: the love interest was kind of cliche/expected. and i wish that the love interest's past had been explored more. we get background on cassie's bff but not the love interest and i would have appreciated it/it would have added that extra touch of depth to the story.
overall, loved this.
January 28, 2020
I don’t read a lot of YA anymore, but I saw this audiobook available at my library, and Kayla (booksandlala) really enjoyed this one last year so I decided to give it a go. This book is really cute, I liked it a whole lot. This book somehow simultaneously manages to be both hard hitting but light hearted and fun at the same time. At times I was tearing up and crying, but most of the book felt very light and mostly feel-good and happy. It was exactly what I needed right now.
This story follows a girl named Cassie who is in high school. Cassie is adopted by these incredibly loving parents and in alternate chapters we get flashbacks of the letters her birth mother wrote to her when she put her up for adoption. I really love and adore mother/daughter relationships in books and I love the way this book explores that. Cassies Mom who raised her has a bad heart and is going to require a heart transplant, so Cassie has a lot on her plate. I love stories about adoption and I feel like this story was told so well and in a realistic way. Also that plot twist at the end I was like !!!!!!!
Overall, I really enjoyed this one and I was surprised by how invested I was in the story.
This story follows a girl named Cassie who is in high school. Cassie is adopted by these incredibly loving parents and in alternate chapters we get flashbacks of the letters her birth mother wrote to her when she put her up for adoption. I really love and adore mother/daughter relationships in books and I love the way this book explores that. Cassies Mom who raised her has a bad heart and is going to require a heart transplant, so Cassie has a lot on her plate. I love stories about adoption and I feel like this story was told so well and in a realistic way. Also that plot twist at the end I was like !!!!!!!
Overall, I really enjoyed this one and I was surprised by how invested I was in the story.
January 19, 2020
4 stars
I truly enjoyed this book. Honestly, I thought it was going to be a five star read until the end. That ending… it wasn’t bad, but I needed so much more. I couldn’t believe the book stopped right there.
The How and the Why is my first book by Cynthia Hand. 2020 has been awesome for me and new to me authors. This is a great YA Contemporary told from two perspectives. Cassie is a high school senior and ’S’ is a 16 year old pregnant teen. S is Cassie’s birth mom and her story is told through letters she’s written to her unborn child.
Cass has the best parents she could ask for. But she has questions about who she is, where she comes from, and who gave birth to her. The search to find her birth mother begins… When S was 16 she found herself in a home for pregnant girls where they encouraged to write letters to their unborn child. S has already decided to put her child up for adoption. I loved the letters. They were probably my favorite part of the story. I laughed, I cried, and I was so invested in S’s story.
This was a beautiful and emotional story about family, I just wish the story had continued a little bit longer. I need to know what happens by the end!
I truly enjoyed this book. Honestly, I thought it was going to be a five star read until the end. That ending… it wasn’t bad, but I needed so much more. I couldn’t believe the book stopped right there.
The How and the Why is my first book by Cynthia Hand. 2020 has been awesome for me and new to me authors. This is a great YA Contemporary told from two perspectives. Cassie is a high school senior and ’S’ is a 16 year old pregnant teen. S is Cassie’s birth mom and her story is told through letters she’s written to her unborn child.
”To me, you’re still sort of intangible. I know you’re in there, but you’re not obvious yet. You’re tight pants. You’re heartburn. You’re the space alien slowly taking over my body. You’re X.”
Cass has the best parents she could ask for. But she has questions about who she is, where she comes from, and who gave birth to her. The search to find her birth mother begins… When S was 16 she found herself in a home for pregnant girls where they encouraged to write letters to their unborn child. S has already decided to put her child up for adoption. I loved the letters. They were probably my favorite part of the story. I laughed, I cried, and I was so invested in S’s story.
This was a beautiful and emotional story about family, I just wish the story had continued a little bit longer. I need to know what happens by the end!
May 24, 2020
Many thanks to Wunderkind PR for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review
"Dear X,
Consider me shooketh. I was not expecting to enjoy this one as much as I did. I blew through it and enjoyed every second.
So, what's this book about?
Cassandra McMurtrey has the best parents a girl could ask for. They’ve given Cass a life she wouldn’t trade for the world. She has everything she needs—except maybe the one thing she wants. Like, to know who she is. Where she came from. Questions her adoptive parents can’t answer, no matter how much they love her.
But eighteen years ago, someone wrote Cass a series of letters. And they may just hold the answers Cass has been searching for.
Alternating between Cass’s search for answers and letters from the pregnant teen who gave her up for adoption, this voice-driven narrative is the perfect read for fans of Nina LaCour and Jandy Nelson.
I am not adopted. At least, I think I'm not. Anywho, I really enjoyed this book because it gave me a lot of perspective that I didn't previously have on adoption. Not only on what it's like to be adopted but also on what it's like to give your child up for adoption and what it's like for the parents who are adopting.
I loved the alternating storylines. We follow Cass in her journey of self-discovery, highschool drama, and her mother's illness and we also follow S, Cass's biological mother, through her journey of being pregnant. Both storylines were equally ensnaring and enjoyable and balanced each other out.
The classic high school drama was also very enjoyable. It reminded me of Only Mostly Devastated which was super fun.
Finally, I enjoyed the ending. In spite of the fact that it was a bit cliche and kind of convenient, it was still fun. I'd honestly love to see a follow-up novella or something of Cass at college.
Bottom Line:
4.5 Stars
Age Rating - [ PG-13 ]
Content Screening (Mild Spoilers) -
Positive Messages (4/5) - [Perservering in spite of hardship, Recognizing your faults, Letting things go]
Violence (0/0)
Sex (1/5) - [Sexual themes, Kissing]
Language (2/5) - [Mild, brief language]
Drinking/Drugs (2/5) - [Medicinal drugs]
Content and Trigger Warnings - Racism, Homophobia, Loss of a loved one, Mild violence
Publication Date: November 5th, 2019
Publisher: HarperTeen (an imprint of HarperCollins)
Genre: Contemporary/Fiction
------------------
4.5 stars! Review to come
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October 19, 2023
THE HOW AND THE WHY is my first book by Cynthia Hand and I found myself really captivated by her writing style. This is told in dual point of view, between Cass, a teen who is living a wonderful life with her adoptive parents, and an unnamed 16-year-old girl in a past timeline living at a group home for unwed mothers, writing to the daughter she’s giving up for adoption (Cass.)
Lots of emotional moments as we are with the unnamed character as she writes letter after letter, at first unsure she wants to even do this, and eventually opening up. And Cass’s pov is wonderful as well as she turns eighteen and decides she’d like to find out who her birth mother was and sets out to search for her. As we get further and further into the book, the emotional journey becomes ever more poignant. The relationships are what make this book—that between Cass and her very sick mother, that between Cass and her best friend who is also adopted, but under different circumstances—and as the search begins to produce results Cass has questions to ask of herself. This was a terrific read!
Lots of emotional moments as we are with the unnamed character as she writes letter after letter, at first unsure she wants to even do this, and eventually opening up. And Cass’s pov is wonderful as well as she turns eighteen and decides she’d like to find out who her birth mother was and sets out to search for her. As we get further and further into the book, the emotional journey becomes ever more poignant. The relationships are what make this book—that between Cass and her very sick mother, that between Cass and her best friend who is also adopted, but under different circumstances—and as the search begins to produce results Cass has questions to ask of herself. This was a terrific read!
November 6, 2019
This is the second book I've finished today and both have made me cry. A lot. Is there a correlation between my tears and loving a book? Maybe. But not necessarily. I've definitely still cried for books I've hated, so. There's that.
However. I didn't hate this book at all. I figured this would be emotional as it was about adoption, family, and also likened to FAR FROM THE TREE by Robin Benway — another story that I'm pretty sure I remember made me cry a lot.
This one is told in two timelines of a sort; via present day Cassandra and the letters being written by her birth mother, eighteen years before, while she was pregnant and waiting to give up her baby for adoption.
There was such a richness to this story, both in the various situations where people were adopted, and also the reasons that lead to them, but also just family in general — both those of your blood and those you choose.
I honestly have so little to say about this book despite loving it so much. I think mostly because I'm still a little stunned by the ending. I was loving this book, solid four, but the final chapter? I mean.. sure, maybe it's a little bit incredulous, a little bit unlikely, maybe even fantastical, but that.. oh my god, I'm just.. yeah, hello, this gets a bump for that. But honestly, ending aside, this book is so great.
THE HOW & THE WHY packs a lot of punch but I think it also does it in a smart way. There's romance but it's not the focus. There's strong enduring friendships that aren't without realistic jealousies and natural speedbumps. And I love the focus on the bright, miraculous, even luminous moments in life, even amongst all the sadness or tragedy that we still experience. Sometimes things do work out. Sometimes we overcome our pasts. Sometimes we say the wrong things but are forgiven. Something we make a fool of ourselves but get something good out of it in the end.
Sometimes that's just the how and the why of life.
Sorry for the cheese.
Read this book.
4.5 stars
** I received an ARC from the publisher (thank you!) in exchange for an honest review. **
---
This review can also be found at
However. I didn't hate this book at all. I figured this would be emotional as it was about adoption, family, and also likened to FAR FROM THE TREE by Robin Benway — another story that I'm pretty sure I remember made me cry a lot.
This one is told in two timelines of a sort; via present day Cassandra and the letters being written by her birth mother, eighteen years before, while she was pregnant and waiting to give up her baby for adoption.
There was such a richness to this story, both in the various situations where people were adopted, and also the reasons that lead to them, but also just family in general — both those of your blood and those you choose.
I honestly have so little to say about this book despite loving it so much. I think mostly because I'm still a little stunned by the ending. I was loving this book, solid four, but the final chapter? I mean.. sure, maybe it's a little bit incredulous, a little bit unlikely, maybe even fantastical, but that.. oh my god, I'm just.. yeah, hello, this gets a bump for that. But honestly, ending aside, this book is so great.
THE HOW & THE WHY packs a lot of punch but I think it also does it in a smart way. There's romance but it's not the focus. There's strong enduring friendships that aren't without realistic jealousies and natural speedbumps. And I love the focus on the bright, miraculous, even luminous moments in life, even amongst all the sadness or tragedy that we still experience. Sometimes things do work out. Sometimes we overcome our pasts. Sometimes we say the wrong things but are forgiven. Something we make a fool of ourselves but get something good out of it in the end.
Sometimes that's just the how and the why of life.
Sorry for the cheese.
Read this book.
4.5 stars
** I received an ARC from the publisher (thank you!) in exchange for an honest review. **
---
This review can also be found at
February 22, 2019
Covering coming SOOOOOOOON.
January 9, 2020
Wow. Just...wow. I started this book yesterday, and would have finished it had it not been 2:00 a.m. and I made myself put it down. ( Torture; I was on pg. 360!) Anyway, I knew pretty quickly that this one would be on my Best Of 2020 shelf. It’s one of the most beautiful stories about adoption that I’ve ever read, hands down.
Memorable Quotes:
(Pg. 2)-“If I were an adopted kid, I’d want there to be a letter for me. Because I’d want to find out things that aren’t in the paperwork. I’d be curious. I’d want to know.”
(Pg. 241)-“The nice thing about having a total meltdown at school is that everyone leaves you alone for the rest of the day.”
Memorable Quotes:
(Pg. 2)-“If I were an adopted kid, I’d want there to be a letter for me. Because I’d want to find out things that aren’t in the paperwork. I’d be curious. I’d want to know.”
(Pg. 241)-“The nice thing about having a total meltdown at school is that everyone leaves you alone for the rest of the day.”
October 5, 2019
Beautiful, heartbreaking, hopeful.. Such an emotional ride!
This book seems to have the author’s heart imprinted on each page.
And honestly, I loved every aspect of this novel and every character. It's a story about family, friendship, and the need to belong in both ways; about first love and first major choices, about passions and and achievements and disappointments; it's a story about so much more.
It's powerful, it's heartwarming, it's incredible and deep and still beautifully subtle in some ways.
I highly recommend it.
Full review soon.
This book seems to have the author’s heart imprinted on each page.
And honestly, I loved every aspect of this novel and every character. It's a story about family, friendship, and the need to belong in both ways; about first love and first major choices, about passions and and achievements and disappointments; it's a story about so much more.
It's powerful, it's heartwarming, it's incredible and deep and still beautifully subtle in some ways.
I highly recommend it.
Full review soon.
January 25, 2022
5 Stars for The How & The Why (audiobook) by Cynthia Hand read by Phoebe Strole.
This is a really touching story about adoption from several perspectives.
This is a really touching story about adoption from several perspectives.
October 25, 2019
Get out your tissues! This heartwarming saga explores adoption from both sides. Cassandra turns eighteen and begins a search for her birth mother. Simultaneously we read the letters her birth mother was writing while she was pregnant. I kept imagining Ellen Page from "Juno" when I was reading the letters. Simply lovely and such an affirmation of life.
Thank you to HarperTeen and Edelweiss for a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to HarperTeen and Edelweiss for a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.
January 1, 2026
The story is about S, a 16-year-old who gave up her baby for adoption, and Cass, now 18, who was adopted. It switches between Cass’s perspective and letters from her birth mom written during her pregnancy. Cass has amazing parents and a strong support system, but as she turns 18, she starts questioning her identity and origins. She decides to find her birth mom. I loved following Cass and learning about her birth mom. It's emotional, warm, and hopeful- a read that stays with you
dnf
June 21, 2020I was SO excited for this book--adoption for YA? Honest emotions about adoption in YA? YES PLEASE--but it ended up being a fairly shallow high school book with a rOmAnCe tWiSt and I just couldn't get through it. *sighs*
July 3, 2022
The How and the Why is just another book that has been collecting dust on my TBR for years. YEARS PEOPLE. It has been a while since I've read a book by Cynthia, so I was really excited to jump into this one.
In this, you will meet Cassie. At times, it feels like she has the whole world on her shoulders. Maybe she does and maybe she doesn't. She does, however, have a lot on her plate at the moment. Whether it's about her mom's health, a possible new crush, a best friend fight, college dreams, or wanting to know more about her birth mother. It's safe to say that she is beyond stressed and needs some good news to come her way.
Now I really liked reading the letters from her birth mother. I also like how realistic everything felt because we got the good and the bad. The ugly was there and we saw consequences being dealt from certain actions. It was so hard to put this book down because I just wanted more.
If I could change one thing, it would be the crush element. For me, the romance didn't really do anything, and I wouldn't have been mad if it never existed. Definitely happy that I jumped into this when I did - it was so good!
In this, you will meet Cassie. At times, it feels like she has the whole world on her shoulders. Maybe she does and maybe she doesn't. She does, however, have a lot on her plate at the moment. Whether it's about her mom's health, a possible new crush, a best friend fight, college dreams, or wanting to know more about her birth mother. It's safe to say that she is beyond stressed and needs some good news to come her way.
Now I really liked reading the letters from her birth mother. I also like how realistic everything felt because we got the good and the bad. The ugly was there and we saw consequences being dealt from certain actions. It was so hard to put this book down because I just wanted more.
If I could change one thing, it would be the crush element. For me, the romance didn't really do anything, and I wouldn't have been mad if it never existed. Definitely happy that I jumped into this when I did - it was so good!
November 11, 2019
REVIEW FOUND ON MY BLOG
https://emilythebooknerdxo.blogspot.c...
*Thank you to the FFBC and Cynthia Hand for an arc copy of the book*
I had no idea what to expect going into The How & They Why and I was pleasantly surprised. This is one of my new favorite books for many reasons. Let me gush about this amazing novel. I cried, I laughed, I smiled almost the entire time reading the book. I could not put it down. It was so good that I read it in about two sittings. This book was very easy to devour. The How & The Why is all about discovering yourself and family. Everyone needs to pick up this wonderful book.
The book is told in two alternating perspectives. One is the main character, Cass who was given up for adoption as a baby. The second, Cass's birth mother at the age of sixteen right before she gives Cass up for adoption. It's heartwrenching but also extremely interesting to read her birth mother's perspective. How hard it was choosing to give Cass up so she would have a better life. I cannot imagine how hard that would have been making that decision. You immediately begin to care about these characters. The book really knows how to capture your heart.
I loved the closeness of Cass and her adoptive mother and father. How the author showed that blood doesn't make a family. Blood also doesn't make a parent. Throughout the whole novel, the mother is in the hospital waiting for a heart transplant. This only added on to my tears. Reading the parts of her adoptive mom sick made me weep. I just felt so much for these characters.
Then add on the fact that Cass is a theatre nerd and there are so many theatre and music references throughout the book... It made me extremely giddy inside. I grew up doing musicals myself and music has always been my life. I just became very connected to Cass and her friends. I could relate to them on a deep level. As in High School, I was a theatre nerd myself. There were so many moments that made me excited inside.
The writing flowed amazingly. The past was intervened so seamlessly and naturally. It made for a very interesting story. I will definitely be picking up other works by Cynthia Hand because I loved this book so much. The How & The Why is easily one of my new favorite books and the best book that I have read this year. I wish the book didn't end. I wanted even more. Five stars from this book nerd!
https://emilythebooknerdxo.blogspot.c...
*Thank you to the FFBC and Cynthia Hand for an arc copy of the book*
I had no idea what to expect going into The How & They Why and I was pleasantly surprised. This is one of my new favorite books for many reasons. Let me gush about this amazing novel. I cried, I laughed, I smiled almost the entire time reading the book. I could not put it down. It was so good that I read it in about two sittings. This book was very easy to devour. The How & The Why is all about discovering yourself and family. Everyone needs to pick up this wonderful book.
The book is told in two alternating perspectives. One is the main character, Cass who was given up for adoption as a baby. The second, Cass's birth mother at the age of sixteen right before she gives Cass up for adoption. It's heartwrenching but also extremely interesting to read her birth mother's perspective. How hard it was choosing to give Cass up so she would have a better life. I cannot imagine how hard that would have been making that decision. You immediately begin to care about these characters. The book really knows how to capture your heart.
I loved the closeness of Cass and her adoptive mother and father. How the author showed that blood doesn't make a family. Blood also doesn't make a parent. Throughout the whole novel, the mother is in the hospital waiting for a heart transplant. This only added on to my tears. Reading the parts of her adoptive mom sick made me weep. I just felt so much for these characters.
Then add on the fact that Cass is a theatre nerd and there are so many theatre and music references throughout the book... It made me extremely giddy inside. I grew up doing musicals myself and music has always been my life. I just became very connected to Cass and her friends. I could relate to them on a deep level. As in High School, I was a theatre nerd myself. There were so many moments that made me excited inside.
The writing flowed amazingly. The past was intervened so seamlessly and naturally. It made for a very interesting story. I will definitely be picking up other works by Cynthia Hand because I loved this book so much. The How & The Why is easily one of my new favorite books and the best book that I have read this year. I wish the book didn't end. I wanted even more. Five stars from this book nerd!
October 9, 2019
"The point is, I hope you get it - the why of the whole thing. I hope you have a good life- a boring, no-drama, no-real-problems kind of life.I have such a weakness for family stories. I will without fail, pick up a book if family is a central focus, and I can say The How & the Why is a great addition to the emotional family-centric stories that I love. The story is told in 2 perspectives: 18 year old Cass as she’s getting ready for all that comes with senior year , and letters from 16 year old, ‘S’ who gave her up 18 years ago.
Good luck, X. I wish you the best."
I really liked Cass as a character. She’s honest and flawed and it’s so easy to feel for her through all of her struggles. Her friendships with Nyla and Bastian are wonderful. Seeing from her birth mother’s perspective was really nice, and woven into the story seamlessly. (S can really set a scene). My biggest complaint with the story was that I didn’t really buy Cassa and Nyla’s acting prowess, so some of that stuff fell falt for me. Otherwise, The How & the Why is an emotionally raw story about family and identity that will tug on your heartstrings.
Sidenote: I would LOVE a novella that explores what happens after the epiloge. I think the story ends in the right place narratively. But as soon as I finished the book, I put it down in my lap and said "NO." so I would really love to see "the next" of THe How & the Why.
I received a copy of the book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review
January 6, 2020
4.5 stars rounded up
This was such an emotional story that I could not put it down once I started. Amazing.
This was such an emotional story that I could not put it down once I started. Amazing.
September 12, 2020
I. Loved. This.
A story of Cass, now 18, an adopted child who is dealing with all the things life brings at that age (and more) while trying to navigate her feelings on whether she should find her birth mother now that she’s legally allowed.
This story choked me up several times. Everything is so well handled. When characters do shitty things, they’re addressed and not swept under the rug (as I feel sometimes happens in YA contemporaries). Cass reads very mature for her age and I really enjoyed her voice as well as all of the characters around her.
A lot of topics are tackled as well. Religion, racism, mortality (specifically death of a parent), adoption, LGBTQ+... and in my opinion, every topic is handled well and sensitively.
Definitely recommend if you’re looking for an impactful and heart wrenching, but also often lighthearted, YA contemporary!
A story of Cass, now 18, an adopted child who is dealing with all the things life brings at that age (and more) while trying to navigate her feelings on whether she should find her birth mother now that she’s legally allowed.
This story choked me up several times. Everything is so well handled. When characters do shitty things, they’re addressed and not swept under the rug (as I feel sometimes happens in YA contemporaries). Cass reads very mature for her age and I really enjoyed her voice as well as all of the characters around her.
A lot of topics are tackled as well. Religion, racism, mortality (specifically death of a parent), adoption, LGBTQ+... and in my opinion, every topic is handled well and sensitively.
Definitely recommend if you’re looking for an impactful and heart wrenching, but also often lighthearted, YA contemporary!
August 19, 2020
This novel follows a girl named Cass McMurtrey who has a great family life. Though she gets curious and begins to question her past as she was adopted. We go back in forth between following Cass's life and notes written by 'S' who is a sixteen-year-old girl who was pregnant at the time. This book deals with the topics of family life, adoption, abortion, illness, teenage pregnancy, and is a coming of age story.
February 4, 2020
I think I was just really disappointed with the direction that this book actually took. I thought it was going to be a lot more hard-hitting than it was. While it does deal with a serious topic, it wasn't as intense as I was hoping for and in actuality it didn't read the way I thought it was pitched to me by the bookish community. The only part I truly loved, and that frankly saved this book, was the letters from Cass's birth mother. Those hit SO hard, and it was so raw and real, and i wanted to the whole book to feel more like that. S never technically spoke a single line of dialogue, yet I was SO connected to her. I understood her fear and attitude and where she came from, when she hurt I hurt alongside her. Cass though, I really did not like. Where this book fell flat for me was Cass and her interactions with everyone. I think it might just be me that truly HATED the dialogue between her, Nyla, and her family. It was so cringey, came across so forced at times, and the constant references just irritated me to no end. Cynthia Hand created this picture that her life was perfect, all her relationships were pERFECT, simply to then force empathy when Cass says something to almost ruin the relationship between her friend, make me feel tension between her and her family which neither has existed up until that point. She spoon-fed me relationships, information, she told me what to feel and what to infer, and I was so annoyed by it. On one hand I hate how fucking young Cass sounds and acts when shes EIGHTEEN and how mature S is when she's only SIXTEEN, but I can understand that what S is going through will force her to grow up faster than Cass might have to. Bastian's twist to me felt sort of added as shock value or a twist rather than serving a purpose/helping Cass grow, something about it just didn't sit well with me, possible because then the ending wouldn't have worked because they technically would been dating their cousins? Just, the more i think about it, the more annoyed I become by the things that before I might have glossed over/not cared much about. I liked the ending, but it left me feeling unsatisfied simply because I, like Cass, am resolved to be okay with not knowing. I liked Cass's big decision and moment, I understood the reasoning, I was happy. Only to then, three pages later, be like "whoops S and Cass are actually together in the same room and will meet spontaneously bc Cass's ex-crush-now-best-friend's (bc they cant be dating bc hes gay) uncle that hes mentioned only once before maybe is here and he brought his wife who wouldnt you have it is your birth mom" and then NOT give us the interaction? The lead up of Cass realizing. The parents realizing and bracing themselves. I was so ready I was so excited, what was the first exchange who speaks first I was so excited and then it just.
Ends.
are you kidding!? im good with not seeing the full thing. I dont need to know what happens after. But give me like three more lines. Have S reACT or give a small smile or SOmEthing.
Overall I was just really disappointed and left with just very angry feelings.
Ends.
are you kidding!? im good with not seeing the full thing. I dont need to know what happens after. But give me like three more lines. Have S reACT or give a small smile or SOmEthing.
Overall I was just really disappointed and left with just very angry feelings.
October 29, 2019
A beautiful poignant story which brought a lump to my throat at times when the emotions rose like a tidal wave.
This book was about family, a young 16 year old girl S who gave up her baby for adoption and Cassandra the baby who was adopted and was now eighteen and wanted to find her birth mother. The story also dealt with the relationships with her parents, grandmother, best friend Nyla and Bastian. Her ambition and future education were well weaved into the story. Her mother was on the waiting list for a heart transplant, Cassandra had to deal with the reality of that situation too.
My first book by author Cynthia Hand, and it was just so beautiful. Written in simple words, the story touched my heart with its honest emotions. The author's thoughts, via her characters, came across crystal clear. The bond in that family, the love they shared, made me want to bask in its gentle rays like a sunflower in the morning sun.
The book spoke about reality coated with hope. It spoke about problems covered in strength. It spoke about fear encompassed in love. Every single chapter was real, Cassandra stole my heart away, and it was S's story which stopped my heart at the magnitude of her love and sacrifice.
Read the story, cry with this family, laugh with them. Enjoy their love, see how they deal with their pain and hurt. Don't just read the words, feel the words. Every single one would touch you deep in your soul. It might be a Young Adult genre, but it spoke the long known language of love and family.
This book was about family, a young 16 year old girl S who gave up her baby for adoption and Cassandra the baby who was adopted and was now eighteen and wanted to find her birth mother. The story also dealt with the relationships with her parents, grandmother, best friend Nyla and Bastian. Her ambition and future education were well weaved into the story. Her mother was on the waiting list for a heart transplant, Cassandra had to deal with the reality of that situation too.
My first book by author Cynthia Hand, and it was just so beautiful. Written in simple words, the story touched my heart with its honest emotions. The author's thoughts, via her characters, came across crystal clear. The bond in that family, the love they shared, made me want to bask in its gentle rays like a sunflower in the morning sun.
The book spoke about reality coated with hope. It spoke about problems covered in strength. It spoke about fear encompassed in love. Every single chapter was real, Cassandra stole my heart away, and it was S's story which stopped my heart at the magnitude of her love and sacrifice.
Read the story, cry with this family, laugh with them. Enjoy their love, see how they deal with their pain and hurt. Don't just read the words, feel the words. Every single one would touch you deep in your soul. It might be a Young Adult genre, but it spoke the long known language of love and family.
July 26, 2024
Alternating between Cass’s search for answers and letters from the pregnant teen who placed her for adoption, this emotionally resonant narrative is the perfect read for fans of Nina LaCour and Jandy Nelson.
First of all, I would like to thank Akacya for giving me the opportunity to read this book. Akacya is my TBR twin, and we both enjoy reading this book. Thank you, and I hope we read more books together in the future.
This book is such a nice read. I also read another book about teenage pregnancy and adoption. This book is similar to Statistically Speaking, which I read last week. I loved the characters here, especially Cassandra, because I think she is a friendly person and she also loves acting. I also liked the POV of her mother, which is that she writes letters for Cassandra.
I liked the writing of this story, which was interesting for me to read, and for that, I will give this book 4 stars. I would like to recommend this book to my fellow readers, and you might want to read it.
The How and the Why by Cynthia Hand is a poignant and challenging novel that explores the complexities of family, identity, and the unbreakable bonds that connect us, making it a must-read for fans of character-driven stories about self-discovery and the power of love.
First of all, I would like to thank Akacya for giving me the opportunity to read this book. Akacya is my TBR twin, and we both enjoy reading this book. Thank you, and I hope we read more books together in the future.
This book is such a nice read. I also read another book about teenage pregnancy and adoption. This book is similar to Statistically Speaking, which I read last week. I loved the characters here, especially Cassandra, because I think she is a friendly person and she also loves acting. I also liked the POV of her mother, which is that she writes letters for Cassandra.
I liked the writing of this story, which was interesting for me to read, and for that, I will give this book 4 stars. I would like to recommend this book to my fellow readers, and you might want to read it.
The How and the Why by Cynthia Hand is a poignant and challenging novel that explores the complexities of family, identity, and the unbreakable bonds that connect us, making it a must-read for fans of character-driven stories about self-discovery and the power of love.
April 16, 2020
This book!!! So cute and equally emotional. This is one of those books where I feel like I know these characters in real life now. Luckily if I’m missing them, I’ll always have this book to come back to. It was beautiful.
Cass is an 18 year-old teen who was adopted in a closed adoption. She really doesn't know much about where she came from, and she's never really cared either. It isn't until her mother gets sick and starts pushing her to find out what she can that she gets more curious. Cass's family is pretty darn perfect (besides the mother's heart problems), so I can see why she hasn't worried about finding her "real" mom. Her real mom has been with her all along and has been pretty wonderful.
Once Cass decides to start the journey to finding out, it quickly becomes important to her. I get that too. Even though she's perfectly satisfied with the family she has, I can see just wanting and needing to know why you came to be where you are.
The coolest thing about this book were the letters that Cass's birth mom wrote to her during her pregnancy. These letters were written at a school for pregnant teens, and the reader has no way of knowing if they will ever actually make it to Cass. And even if they do, there isn't a lot of identifying information for Cass to use in her quest.
The characters in this book felt so real. I feel like I know them in real life and I'm kind of sad to not be with them anymore. I guess I can always reread??? I would compare this book to Emma Mills's books because of the overall feeling it gave me. It was happy and funny, but also serious and heartbreaking at times. The perfect mix.
The only thing I didn't like about this book was Cass. I feel like I know her, and it feels real because she gets on my nerves sometimes. I think she came off as spoiled and ungrateful a lot. Her life seemed almost too good to be true and she totally didn't appreciate that. Her college woes were especially hard to take considering she had SO MANY OPTIONS. She was being a spoiled brat about possibly not being able to afford a private school. With everything else going on in her life, it was very frustrating to read about.
It's a total 5 star book. One of the best YA books I've read in a WHILE. I know this author has personal ties to this subject, and it shows in the way the story is so captivating and emotional.
OVERALL: LOVED IT. Can't recommend enough for the heart this book brought. It's cute AND emotional. It's fun AND serious. A 5 star book and is immediately going on my Favorites list!
My Blog:
Pink Polka Dot Books
Cass is an 18 year-old teen who was adopted in a closed adoption. She really doesn't know much about where she came from, and she's never really cared either. It isn't until her mother gets sick and starts pushing her to find out what she can that she gets more curious. Cass's family is pretty darn perfect (besides the mother's heart problems), so I can see why she hasn't worried about finding her "real" mom. Her real mom has been with her all along and has been pretty wonderful.
Once Cass decides to start the journey to finding out, it quickly becomes important to her. I get that too. Even though she's perfectly satisfied with the family she has, I can see just wanting and needing to know why you came to be where you are.
The coolest thing about this book were the letters that Cass's birth mom wrote to her during her pregnancy. These letters were written at a school for pregnant teens, and the reader has no way of knowing if they will ever actually make it to Cass. And even if they do, there isn't a lot of identifying information for Cass to use in her quest.
The characters in this book felt so real. I feel like I know them in real life and I'm kind of sad to not be with them anymore. I guess I can always reread??? I would compare this book to Emma Mills's books because of the overall feeling it gave me. It was happy and funny, but also serious and heartbreaking at times. The perfect mix.
The only thing I didn't like about this book was Cass. I feel like I know her, and it feels real because she gets on my nerves sometimes. I think she came off as spoiled and ungrateful a lot. Her life seemed almost too good to be true and she totally didn't appreciate that. Her college woes were especially hard to take considering she had SO MANY OPTIONS. She was being a spoiled brat about possibly not being able to afford a private school. With everything else going on in her life, it was very frustrating to read about.
It's a total 5 star book. One of the best YA books I've read in a WHILE. I know this author has personal ties to this subject, and it shows in the way the story is so captivating and emotional.
OVERALL: LOVED IT. Can't recommend enough for the heart this book brought. It's cute AND emotional. It's fun AND serious. A 5 star book and is immediately going on my Favorites list!
My Blog:
Pink Polka Dot Books
November 28, 2019
You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
This book is phenomenal and will make you feel so many things that your emotions might actually explode but you'll be okay with it cause it's worth it. I mean, I almost don't want to tell you much about it because I just want you to go ahead and experience it for yourself? I'll try to give you a little idea of why you must.
• FAMILY. Can I be any clearer that this novel is straight up overflowing with family? Because it is. In so many ways. Examples of awesome families (like perhaps the actual best I have ever read about?) and some that are... less so. The point is, it's brimming with love and heart, and when is that not a great thing?
• So many complex relationships! Again, keeping it vague purposely, but there will be so many relationships in both times, for both women, that are just incredible. There's a focus on friendships, romances, and family dynamics that are so well-developed that you simply cannot help but care about how they play out.
• The adoption stories, from both mother and child's perspectives are incredible. And yes, there will be feels, obviously. But they're multifaceted, and I will leave it at that. Honestly please just read the thing.
• It's still, at its core, a coming of age story about both Cass and her mother. And while all of these huge life changes are happening in their respective lives/respective times, they're also living their daily lives, navigating growing into adulthood. And it's great to see that dichotomy in play.
Bottom Line: Gosh please just read this and experience all the lovely feels! You can thank me later.
This book is phenomenal and will make you feel so many things that your emotions might actually explode but you'll be okay with it cause it's worth it. I mean, I almost don't want to tell you much about it because I just want you to go ahead and experience it for yourself? I'll try to give you a little idea of why you must.
• FAMILY. Can I be any clearer that this novel is straight up overflowing with family? Because it is. In so many ways. Examples of awesome families (like perhaps the actual best I have ever read about?) and some that are... less so. The point is, it's brimming with love and heart, and when is that not a great thing?
• So many complex relationships! Again, keeping it vague purposely, but there will be so many relationships in both times, for both women, that are just incredible. There's a focus on friendships, romances, and family dynamics that are so well-developed that you simply cannot help but care about how they play out.
• The adoption stories, from both mother and child's perspectives are incredible. And yes, there will be feels, obviously. But they're multifaceted, and I will leave it at that. Honestly please just read the thing.
• It's still, at its core, a coming of age story about both Cass and her mother. And while all of these huge life changes are happening in their respective lives/respective times, they're also living their daily lives, navigating growing into adulthood. And it's great to see that dichotomy in play.
Bottom Line: Gosh please just read this and experience all the lovely feels! You can thank me later.
November 9, 2019
The How and the Why is a Young Adult contemporary book.
I have enjoyed previous books by this author so I was excited to get to read her newest book.
The narrator is 18 year old Cassandra (1st person POV). She lives in Idaho Falls, Idaho.
Cassandra is starting her senior year of high school. So she has to think about college. But she also has other serious things going on in her life.
She was adopted at birth. And now that she is 18 she has to decide if she wants to learn more about her birth mother. This is her story. But the book is interspersed with letters from the 16 year old girl who gave her up for adoption.
Also there is a major storyline concerning Cass' mom (the one who raised her).
This book was emotional and moving. Although the beginning was slowly paced. It took me a while to truly get into this story. But once I did I could not put it down.
My favorite things about this book: 1) Cass' parents. 2) The fact that Cass loves musical theatre and that her school is performing Into The Woods, which I adore. 3) The epilogue. This epilogue blew me away.
This story was so interesting. I liked seeing how adoption could affect an entire family. And I really enjoyed being in Cass' head. I was beyond obsessed with everything involving the school musical. I actually wish that we had gotten even more Into The Woods!
I was also riveted by the story going on with Cass' mom who adopted her. That added a lot to the book. Plus I was very invested by her college decisions, especially re: everything to do with scholarships.
Also the author's notes were very touching (she was adopted). What a wonderful YA story that focuses on family. As mentioned the epilogue was epic. Although I really wish that the story had continued. I would have loved to see what happened after the last scene in the book.
Thanks to edelweiss and HarperTeen for allowing me to read this book.
I have enjoyed previous books by this author so I was excited to get to read her newest book.
The narrator is 18 year old Cassandra (1st person POV). She lives in Idaho Falls, Idaho.
Cassandra is starting her senior year of high school. So she has to think about college. But she also has other serious things going on in her life.
She was adopted at birth. And now that she is 18 she has to decide if she wants to learn more about her birth mother. This is her story. But the book is interspersed with letters from the 16 year old girl who gave her up for adoption.
Also there is a major storyline concerning Cass' mom (the one who raised her).
This book was emotional and moving. Although the beginning was slowly paced. It took me a while to truly get into this story. But once I did I could not put it down.
My favorite things about this book: 1) Cass' parents. 2) The fact that Cass loves musical theatre and that her school is performing Into The Woods, which I adore. 3) The epilogue. This epilogue blew me away.
This story was so interesting. I liked seeing how adoption could affect an entire family. And I really enjoyed being in Cass' head. I was beyond obsessed with everything involving the school musical. I actually wish that we had gotten even more Into The Woods!
I was also riveted by the story going on with Cass' mom who adopted her. That added a lot to the book. Plus I was very invested by her college decisions, especially re: everything to do with scholarships.
Also the author's notes were very touching (she was adopted). What a wonderful YA story that focuses on family. As mentioned the epilogue was epic. Although I really wish that the story had continued. I would have loved to see what happened after the last scene in the book.
Thanks to edelweiss and HarperTeen for allowing me to read this book.
November 2, 2019
This review and many others can also be found at Musings of a (Book) Girl.
Content Warnings: adoption, hospitals, heart disease, surgery, racism, abuse, depression, suicide attempt, drug abuse, alcoholism
This book. THIS. BOOK. Oh my gosh…
Every single sentence oozed emotion. I felt every word – all the hope, fear, longing, embarrassment, anger, confusion, dread, excitement.
It’s hard to write a review for a book like this. Cassandra’s mom dealt with heart issues and was in the hospital for the majority of the book which made it incredibly difficult for me to read but I’m so thankful I did. This is a story that clearly came straight from Cynthia Hand’s heart and I’m honored I was able to read it.
There are alternating storylines between Cassandra’s birth mom writing letters during her pregnancy and Cassandra’s senior year in high school. It was so easy to be invested in both stories. They were woven together exceptionally well and I loved being able to connect the dots between the two.
The characters were all incredible. Each person had an amazing amount of depth and they were so dynamic. They felt like real people – almost as if I could open Facebook, type their names into the search bar, and see them living their lives through pictures and status updates.
The How & the Why is a truly beautiful and heartbreaking yet hope-filled own voices story. It’s one that demands to be felt. I devoured it in two sittings (it would have been one but I have a toddler okay?) and I almost want to start it all over again right now. I know I’ll be carrying Cassandra with me for a very long time.
A digital ARC was provided through Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. Additionally, all quotes should be checked against the final copy.
Content Warnings: adoption, hospitals, heart disease, surgery, racism, abuse, depression, suicide attempt, drug abuse, alcoholism
This book. THIS. BOOK. Oh my gosh…
Every single sentence oozed emotion. I felt every word – all the hope, fear, longing, embarrassment, anger, confusion, dread, excitement.
It’s hard to write a review for a book like this. Cassandra’s mom dealt with heart issues and was in the hospital for the majority of the book which made it incredibly difficult for me to read but I’m so thankful I did. This is a story that clearly came straight from Cynthia Hand’s heart and I’m honored I was able to read it.
You have to feel what you feel.
There are alternating storylines between Cassandra’s birth mom writing letters during her pregnancy and Cassandra’s senior year in high school. It was so easy to be invested in both stories. They were woven together exceptionally well and I loved being able to connect the dots between the two.
The characters were all incredible. Each person had an amazing amount of depth and they were so dynamic. They felt like real people – almost as if I could open Facebook, type their names into the search bar, and see them living their lives through pictures and status updates.
Your genes don’t define you.
The How & the Why is a truly beautiful and heartbreaking yet hope-filled own voices story. It’s one that demands to be felt. I devoured it in two sittings (it would have been one but I have a toddler okay?) and I almost want to start it all over again right now. I know I’ll be carrying Cassandra with me for a very long time.
A digital ARC was provided through Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. Additionally, all quotes should be checked against the final copy.
December 2, 2019
(Disclaimer: I received this book from the publisher. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)
As an adoptee, I don't think I have the words to describe how much I adored The How & the Why. It's a story that has the power to resonate with a lot of adoptees. The questions that you ask, "How and why?" How did I get to where I am and why?
While neither Cass or Nyla, two characters who were adopted in The How & the Why, represent my adoption story, I could deeply resonate with this pull. And as an adoptee, my own relationship to searching for my birth parents has evolved over time. But I could never deny that the questions always existed. The representation in The How & the Why is absolutely phenomenal and I want a thousand other adoption stories. We are asked, will Cassandra find out how her story began? Why she was given up for adoption?
Hand is able to expertly create two stories in The How & the Why - both Cassandra's and her biological mother's story. Told in letters from Cassandra's birth mother to Cassandra, we are able to see not only how much time has changed, but the other side to the story. The build up and the fall. Through this perspective we are able to ask about questions of sacrifice and selfishness. The book is an emotional ride, but Hand allows readers to deepen their understanding of adoption and what it means to be adopted.
full review: https://utopia-state-of-mind.com/revi...
As an adoptee, I don't think I have the words to describe how much I adored The How & the Why. It's a story that has the power to resonate with a lot of adoptees. The questions that you ask, "How and why?" How did I get to where I am and why?
While neither Cass or Nyla, two characters who were adopted in The How & the Why, represent my adoption story, I could deeply resonate with this pull. And as an adoptee, my own relationship to searching for my birth parents has evolved over time. But I could never deny that the questions always existed. The representation in The How & the Why is absolutely phenomenal and I want a thousand other adoption stories. We are asked, will Cassandra find out how her story began? Why she was given up for adoption?
Hand is able to expertly create two stories in The How & the Why - both Cassandra's and her biological mother's story. Told in letters from Cassandra's birth mother to Cassandra, we are able to see not only how much time has changed, but the other side to the story. The build up and the fall. Through this perspective we are able to ask about questions of sacrifice and selfishness. The book is an emotional ride, but Hand allows readers to deepen their understanding of adoption and what it means to be adopted.
full review: https://utopia-state-of-mind.com/revi...
October 27, 2021
Full review to be posted on http://kaitplusbooks.com closer to the release date (which is in November, not December. Oops!), but just know that this is probably going to be my favorite book of 2019. So read this book as soon as you can get your hands on it!!! (And also have a box of tissues ready)
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
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Blog | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest | Storygraph
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January 7, 2020Maybe these letters can say the words I can't speak...
Cass has been blessed with a wonderful life. Parents who love her, a best friend who's always there for her, dream she dares to aspire for, and more. But she yearns to learn the things she's never known, like where she came from, and who she is. All things her adoptive parents can't answer, even though their love knows no bounds. As Cass endlessly searches for answers, everything seems like a dead end. But eighteen years ago someone wrote a series of letters that may hold all the answers Cass needs.
A story of mothers and daughters. A story of love and the choices that we make because of it.
Honest, compassionate Cass was our first narrator. Her life was in upheaval as she juggled the prospects of college, dealt with the scary reality of her mother's health issues, and tried to find out about her past without hurting anyone. Given how upset Cass was, she lashed out and made awful mistakes, especially within her friendships. I was incredibly proud of her for trying to make amends and for learning from her mistakes. The theater loving young woman gained a lot of confidence and perspective over the course of her character arc. It was interesting to see all the choices she made for her future and when finding her birth parents.
Tough but tender, S was our second narrator. Her letters to Cass revealed a pregnant teen who made one decision on a whim and spent the rest of the book making the best choices she could for herself and her unborn baby. Level headed but sorely fed up with her home life, S kept a barrier up to protect herself. Her voice was steady yet terrified as she told her story when and how she wanted to tell it. Every last detail we got from Cass's birth mother helped to create a complete picture of her life.
From Cass's supportive parents to S's unhappy family, from Cass's long-time best friend Nyla to the girls S met met while pregnant, from Cass's crush to the man who was her birth father, our narrator's lives couldn't have been more different. Both had relationships with their family that made me cry for different reasons. Their friendships were wonderfully complicated even though they they came about very differently. Love was certainly opposite experiences for both of them. Cass and S shared so few yet so many life experiences.
Life is a series of decisions and their consequences. Following Cass and S as their unique choices unfolded, seeing their lives parallel each other, was so captivating. Told through a traditional narrative and letters, the mother's and daughter's personalities shown through making, it impossible not to want the best for both of them. With a style all her own, Cynthia Hand sent me on an emotional roller coaster of family, friendship, love, life-altering decisions, financial woes and the search to belong. Through moments of humor and heartbreak, the story had quite a few tasteful and memorable passages about adoption and the meaning of family. Truly, this was a tale about making the right choices no matter how difficult they were, but also about never giving up hope. The epilogue was a little cheesy, but it certainly made my heart beat rapidly. Overall, The How and The Why was about life and making the best decisions possible.
Let your heart be filled by The How and The Why.
Cass has been blessed with a wonderful life. Parents who love her, a best friend who's always there for her, dream she dares to aspire for, and more. But she yearns to learn the things she's never known, like where she came from, and who she is. All things her adoptive parents can't answer, even though their love knows no bounds. As Cass endlessly searches for answers, everything seems like a dead end. But eighteen years ago someone wrote a series of letters that may hold all the answers Cass needs.
A story of mothers and daughters. A story of love and the choices that we make because of it.
Honest, compassionate Cass was our first narrator. Her life was in upheaval as she juggled the prospects of college, dealt with the scary reality of her mother's health issues, and tried to find out about her past without hurting anyone. Given how upset Cass was, she lashed out and made awful mistakes, especially within her friendships. I was incredibly proud of her for trying to make amends and for learning from her mistakes. The theater loving young woman gained a lot of confidence and perspective over the course of her character arc. It was interesting to see all the choices she made for her future and when finding her birth parents.
Tough but tender, S was our second narrator. Her letters to Cass revealed a pregnant teen who made one decision on a whim and spent the rest of the book making the best choices she could for herself and her unborn baby. Level headed but sorely fed up with her home life, S kept a barrier up to protect herself. Her voice was steady yet terrified as she told her story when and how she wanted to tell it. Every last detail we got from Cass's birth mother helped to create a complete picture of her life.
From Cass's supportive parents to S's unhappy family, from Cass's long-time best friend Nyla to the girls S met met while pregnant, from Cass's crush to the man who was her birth father, our narrator's lives couldn't have been more different. Both had relationships with their family that made me cry for different reasons. Their friendships were wonderfully complicated even though they they came about very differently. Love was certainly opposite experiences for both of them. Cass and S shared so few yet so many life experiences.
Life is a series of decisions and their consequences. Following Cass and S as their unique choices unfolded, seeing their lives parallel each other, was so captivating. Told through a traditional narrative and letters, the mother's and daughter's personalities shown through making, it impossible not to want the best for both of them. With a style all her own, Cynthia Hand sent me on an emotional roller coaster of family, friendship, love, life-altering decisions, financial woes and the search to belong. Through moments of humor and heartbreak, the story had quite a few tasteful and memorable passages about adoption and the meaning of family. Truly, this was a tale about making the right choices no matter how difficult they were, but also about never giving up hope. The epilogue was a little cheesy, but it certainly made my heart beat rapidly. Overall, The How and The Why was about life and making the best decisions possible.
Let your heart be filled by The How and The Why.
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