You Can Lead a Politician to Water, But You Can't Make Him Think: Ten Commandments for Texas Politics

by Kinky Friedman

And Kinky Said Unto the Why the Hell Not? So the good people of Texas weren't able to get the Kinkster into the Governor's Mansion in 2006. It was a solid race, and he fought the good fight. Getting on the ballot as an independent -- a feat that had not been achieved in over a century -- was a victory in itself. And with ideas like "slots for tots" (legalized gambling to pay for education), the five Mexican generals plan (bribes to enforce border protection), and a firm stand against the "wussification" of the state, he would have done a helluva job. If that 2006 election was any indication -- and it was -- the political landscape in both Texas and the country at large needs a significant overhaul. The hucksters, the wealthy, and the twofaced rule; there is no room for Truth, and the little guys are quickly forgotten in all the muck. But Kinky, (briefly) down yet certainly not out, is still looking out for his fellow Americans, and he has much wisdom to impart. In this hilarious, thought-provoking manifesto, Kinky lays forth his ten commandments for improving the state of Texas and politics everywhere, and for restoring order, logic, decency, and above all a sense of humor back to this country. It's classic Kinky in a brand new way. And he might just have a point.

Genres: Politics, Humor, Nonfiction

127 pages, Hardcover

First published October 2, 2007

About the author

Richard S. "Kinky" Friedman is an American singer, songwriter, novelist, humorist, politician and former columnist for Texas Monthly who styles himself in the mold of popular American satirists Will Rogers and Mark Twain. He was one of two independent candidates in the 2006 election for the office of Governor of Texas. Receiving 12.6% of the vote, Friedman placed fourth in the six-person race.

Friedman was born in Chicago to Jewish parents, Dr. S. Thomas Friedman and his wife Minnie (Samet) Friedman. The family moved to a ranch in central Texas a few years later. Friedman had an early interest in both music and chess, and was chosen at age 7 as one of 50 local players to challenge U.S. grandmaster Samuel Reshevsky to simultaneous matches in Houston. Reshevsky won all 50 matches, but Friedman was by far the youngest competitor.

Friedman graduated from Austin High School in Austin, Texas in 1962 and earned a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Texas at Austin in 1966, majoring in Psychology. He took part in the Plan II Honors program and was a member of the Tau Delta Phi fraternity. During his freshman year, Chinga Chavin gave Friedman the nickname "Kinky" because of his curly hair.

Friedman served two years in the United States Peace Corps, teaching on Borneo in Malaysia with John Gross. During his service in the Peace Corps, he met future Texas Jewboy road manager Dylan Ferrero, with whom he still works today. Friedman lives at Echo Hill Ranch, his family's summer camp near Kerrville, Texas. He founded Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch, also located near Kerrville, whose mission is to care for stray, abused and aging animals; more than 1,000 dogs have been saved from animal euthanasia.

Series:
* Kinky Friedman Mystery

Reviews

[Katy-Del]

It is a rundown of hiscampaign for governor and his thoughts on how Texas could be improved. I really liked some of his Commandments, which were the chapter titles for the book:
1. Remember the Alamo and keep it holy
2. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's mudflaps or, The long-term effects of apathy upo the yellow rose of Texas
3. Never say fuck in front of a C-H-I-L-D
4. Thou shalt fight wussification
5. thou shalt throw the money changers out of the temple or, I can answer that for you, but I can't understand it for you
6. Thou Shalt not bullshit, or, Sacred teachings of the butt-sniffing clan
7. Thou shalt not kill
8. Thou shalt not eat a chicken fried steak bigger than your head, or, Common sense
9. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke
10 Ask not is you're proud of Texas; Ask if you've made Texas Proud of you

At 127 pages, it was a quick fun read that introduced some inovative, and common sense things that could be implemented, or not implemented, to help improve our state and its politics. I always find Kinky's turn of phrase amusing, wether it be in fiction or non-fiction.

[Angel]

Though I did not find it as good as his other humor books, it is still worth reading. In this book, Kinky looks at his recent run for governor of Texas. The book outlines his plans and platform. It also tells stories of the campaign trail, and it has a lot of humor along the way. It is interesting to see some of his ideas, some of which certainly seem viable. Only reason I did not rate it higher is it did not seem as funny as his previous. However, I still recommend it. Besides, Texas might have been so much better off with him in the Governor's Mansion. As his slogan went, "why the hell not?"

[Mark]

In this small tome, Kinky sums up his 2006 independent campaign for governor of Texas and bestows pearls of wisdom about what we ought to expect from our leaders. A thoroughly enjoyable read as only Kinky can deliver so many zingers and still get his point across. One can't help but think if he had been able to communicate his message this well during his campaign, we might be talking about re-electing him this year.

[Measie]

Although this book was written a few years ago, the passages about political corruption and frequent mentions of "the people" seem remarkably prescient...could Kinky have foreseen the Occupy Movement? Very funny read. Full disclosure: I voted for Kinky when he ran for Governor.

[Beth]

Great book!

[Terina Dee]

Uproariously hilarious and so frustratingly true about the political system. Funny, funny, and funnier.

[Tommy]

I drank, but did not swallow...

[Genie]

Good ideas of how best to improve the workings of government on state and federal levels.

[Marcie]

I'd vote for him for president. Love the “Five Mexican Generals Plan” for border control.

[Jandro]

I wasn't sure what to think of this book when it was given to me. I'm glad I read it. Kinky Friedman is a stand-out Texan, a man I would call a moderate by today's standards. This book recounts his bid for the Texan governorship versus Rick Perry. It was a light read, very fun. My only complaint is that the jokes may have come too fast, like a Groucho Marx soliloquy. For a light look at politics and a pleasant break from politics, read this book and long for the days when good men still wanted to run for office.

[Bryan D]

Most people who know me would agree that politics isn't my comfort zone. I don't trust politicians and have difficulty believing any promises they offer.
There are two reasons I read this book and firstly is Kinky Friedman .
I met the man at a signing after one of his gigs in The Cork Opera House and he came across as very approachable and nice.
I've read 9 of his crime stories and I love his Dirty Harry bluntness and humour throughout.
The second, and I'm not shy to say it, was that the book was short and thankfully a very interesting, amusing experience.

[Garrett Cash]

I've only ever been familiar with the Kinkster's music and not his writing or political career, so this was a good way to get introduced to both. Friedman's wit and God-fearing brand of libertarianism combined with his musical abilities and general panache is a potent package. I wish I had lived in Texas and could have voted for him. This book reminded me of the one I read this year by Oscar Goodman, only Goodman actually won political office and got to make great changes. Kinky never got the chance, but as the slogan goes: "Why the hell not?"

[Lowell]

Since listening to the DVD of Kinky's marvelous music (available from our great SA Public Library,) Maverick Branch, our lovely Leon Valley Public Library had this one available.

This book is HILARIOUS and quite profund, much like the author himself.

It also has many photographs for those of y'all who, like me had to attend public schools here in Texas and really cannot read , understand or follow written instructions and/or directions too well.

(Thank Our Heavenly Designer that St. Mary's ROTC had a day on map reading!)

Please try and buy this book, if you can. Most of Professor Friedman's money goes to help poor and destitute animals.

Besides The Holy Bible, The Holy Koran and, possibly, The Baghvad Gita as it Is, it's impossible for me to think of a book more life altering or "mind-blowing" than this opus from Maestro Friedman.

If you are of the TRUE (Catholic, of course,) FAITH, reading this book can only strengthen you belief in EWTN's "The Jewish Roots of Our Catholic Faith."

Since the recent death of Ossama bin Laden, it should be certain that one of Friedman's new titles could just be "Allah Too, Y'all !"

Cannot think of a catchier title.

Oh, yeah, just thought of one: SPPANKING WATSON, coincidentally enough, it is also by Herr Kinky!

[Gerald Kinro]

Pro wrestler Jessie Ventura did it in Minnesota. Kinky Friedman, mystery/humor writer, now tries to do the same in Texas: be elected governor as an independent. Friedman gives his experiences in battling the powerful incumbent Rick Perry and shares his opinions on Perry, political parties and governance in general.

This is fun stuff or Will Rogers on steroids. While short, it was totally entertaining with one liners and sometimes two or even three. While funny, Friedman opines on the faults of political parties and the difficulties of an independent in getting on the ballot. He offers solutions to many of Texas’ and national problems, many of which I cannot disagree with. Some may be downright outrageous.
They cannot, however, be any worse than what the democrats and republicans have given us.

[Carol]

Politics meets comedy. There's no better summary than that for this book.
I read this in one sitting. This was assigned reading for my Texas government class. Out of the assigned readings this is by far my favorite. The story telling was on point. There were many laughs and many truths said in here. I really liked the overall message of this book: Think for yourself and stay true to yourself. Kinky Friedman has other books out, so I do want to check them out because I really like his outlook on politics.

[Darren]

Loved this book. A memoir of Kinkys running for the governership of Texas back in 2006. Filled with funny stories and lots of one liners. He seems like a very genuine and smart guy. Anyone who is interested in politics, and hates the standard sleezy politician will love this book.

[Sara Goldenberg]

I have ready just about all his books. I like most of them.

However, after you read a few of them, you will see whole parts repeat themselves; I guess for the new readers. It's pretty tiresome.

So, in this spirit, I will post this exact review on each of his books that I recently read.