Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.

Start by marking “Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive” as Want to Read:

Other editions

Enlarge cover

Rate this book

Clear rating

1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars

Open Preview

Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive

Marc Brackett (Goodreads Author)

4.25 · Rating details · 2,812 ratings · 412 reviews

The mental well-being of children and adults is shockingly poor. Marc Brackett, author of Permission to Feel, knows why. And he knows what we can do.
"We have a crisis on our hands, and its victims are our children."

Marc Brackett is a professor in Yale University's Child Study Center and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In his 25 years as an The mental well-being of children and adults is shockingly poor. Marc Brackett, author of Permission to Feel, knows why. And he knows what we can do.
"We have a crisis on our hands, and its victims are our children."

Marc Brackett is a professor in Yale University's Child Study Center and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In his 25 years as an emotion scientist, he has developed a remarkably effective plan to improve the lives of children and adults - a blueprint for understanding our emotions and using them wisely so that they help, rather than hinder, our success and well-being. The core of his approach is a legacy from his childhood, from an astute uncle who gave him permission to feel. He was the first adult who managed to see Marc, listen to him, and recognize the suffering, bullying, and abuse he'd endured. And that was the beginning of Marc's awareness that what he was going through was temporary. He wasn't alone, he wasn't stuck on a timeline, and he wasn't "wrong" to feel scared, isolated, and angry. Now, best of all, he could do something about it.

In the decades since, Marc has led large research teams and raised tens of millions of dollars to investigate the roots of emotional well-being. His prescription for healthy children (and their parents, teachers, and schools) is a system called RULER, a high-impact and fast-effect approach to understanding and mastering emotions that has already transformed the thousands of schools that have adopted it. RULER has been proven to reduce stress and burnout, improve school climate, and enhance academic achievement. This book is the culmination of Marc's development of RULER and his way to share the strategies and skills with readers around the world. It is tested, and it works.

This book combines rigor, science, passion and inspiration in equal parts. Too many children and adults are suffering; they are ashamed of their feelings and emotionally unskilled, but they don't have to be. Marc Brackett's life mission is to reverse this course, and this book can show you how. ...more

Get A Copy

Hardcover, 304 pages

Published September 3rd 2019 by Celadon Books

More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Permission to Feel, please sign up.

Lists with This Book

Never Go With Your Gut by Gleb Tsipursky

The Blindspots Between Us by Gleb Tsipursky

psychology & the power of the mind

58 books — 32 voters

Insecure in Love by Leslie Becker-Phelps

Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas

CPTSD books

10 books — 1 voter

More lists with this book...

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30

Average rating 4.25 ·

Rating details

· 2,812 ratings · 412 reviews

More filters

Sort order

Start your review of Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive

Sep 02, 2019 Heidi The Reader rated it it was amazing

Shelves: non-fiction, know-thyself, reviewed-by-request, self-help

"And when we can't recognize, understand, or put into words what we feel, it's impossible for us to do anything about it: to master our feelings — not to deny them but to accept them all, even embrace them — and learn to make our emotions work for us, not against us." pg 2

Marc Brackett, Ph.D., is the director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In this book, Permission to Feel, he has given the world a new set of tools to learn more about ourselves through our emotions, to facilitate ...more

flag 50 likes · Like · see review

Aug 16, 2019 Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader rated it it was amazing

Permission to Feel is a thoughtful, well-searched book about emotional intelligence and how it helps adults and children alike.

I wish Dr. Brackett’s program was available locally so I could see it in action because I have loved what I read about so far. He has designed a program called RULER, which is a prescription for healthy children, and includes healthier parents, teachers, and children. The focus is emotional health, and I love that.

I’m so grateful I read this, and I hope parents and teac ...more

flag 39 likes · Like · see review

Aug 22, 2019 Jon Nakapalau rated it it was amazing

Shelves: cultural-studies, psychology, favorites

One of the best books on emotional balance I have read in quite some time. Mark Brackett does a fantastic job of 'mapping' all the problem territories one encounters when emotional boundaries are explored. The advice that Mark gives is based on his extensive experience (25 years as an emotion scientist) but is centered on a specific steps that can be taken and applied. Many of the issues facing our children today are covered with a rare applicability that translates smoothly into specific situat ...more

flag 36 likes · Like · see review

Sep 09, 2019 Jenny (Reading Envy) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: advising, reviewcopy, adoption, read2019

Earlier this year, I read Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and took the accompanying test, testing lower than I would have liked to. Reading Permission to Feel helped me understand that emotional intelligence is something that must be modeled and taught intentionally (so that explains a lot.)

I appreciate this book because it can be read from a lot of perspectives - for personal growth, as a parent, an educator, or just a human in the world. Brackett unpacks emotional intelligence in the first part of ...more

flag 21 likes · Like · see review

Oct 13, 2019 Lorilin rated it it was amazing

Shelves: wellness, arc

Marc Brackett is a professor at Yale who studies emotional intelligence, especially in children. Through his research at Yale University’s Child Emotional Center, he’s come up with a science-based system called RULER that helps kids better process and express their emotions. He’s already implemented his method at hundreds of schools across the country and seen very positive (and quick) results.

The book is divided into three parts. Part One talks about what emotions are and how to become an emoti ...more

flag 14 likes · Like · see review

Aug 08, 2019 Amber Lea rated it it was ok

Shelves: non-fiction, self-help, arcs

I received an ARC (advanced reader copy) of this book which I was pretty excited about because everyone knows I have a self-help book addiction.

First, I’m going to address what we’re probably all thinking: the title isn’t the best. I was too embarrassed to read this on the subway or in the waiting room at my doctor’s office. To me, it conjures up images of weird touchy-feely group therapy sessions where people do things like punch pillows while yelling, “I HATE YOU DAD!” or dudes in pleated khak I received an ARC (advanced reader copy) of this book which I was pretty excited about because everyone knows I have a self-help book addiction.

First, I’m going to address what we’re probably all thinking: the title isn’t the best. I was too embarrassed to read this on the subway or in the waiting room at my doctor’s office. To me, it conjures up images of weird touchy-feely group therapy sessions where people do things like punch pillows while yelling, “I HATE YOU DAD!” or dudes in pleated khaki pants talking to kids with sock puppets or something else equally awkward.

I’m passed the age where I feel I need permission to do anything, so I hid this book for fear someone would think it was a cry for help.

Anyway, based on the description you might expect this book to be very technical, but it’s actually pretty personal. Most of the examples relate to the author and his childhood, or interactions he’s had with friends or students, and even hypothetical situations seem to be about him. (Like he asks the reader to imagine themselves going to a conference or being a teacher and having x, y or z happen.) I think this book was a cathartic exercise for the author. I think Marc Brackett should just write a memoir. I’d read it. Honestly, his best writing was when he was talking about his personal experiences. I wish he’d taken all these lessons he’s trying to impart here and folded them into the narrative of his life instead of sticking the narrative of his life into this book about his program.

Basically, I think this book probably would have benefited from being either way more personal, or way less. I think the RULER system probably works best as a powerpoint presentation or a pamphlet. Something easy to digest. It doesn’t really need a long explanation because it’s pretty simple, and because this book tries to be both personal and technical, it feels messy and unnecessarily long.

Also, the author spends way more time arguing against the idea that the system is pointless than he spends actually talking about the system. I came away feeling like I barely learned anything other than the fact that the author thinks kids really, really, really need a safe space to talk about their feelings.

I think the intended audience is parents, school administrators, and business managers. If you’re trying to decide if you’re interested in this book you should check out the author’s ted talk. It’s basically the book distilled down into a twenty minute speech. If you like that, you’ll like this book.

And just to address something that kept coming to mind for me over and over again: I think there’s something to be said for developing a thick skin. The author repeatedly gives examples of times he was “triggered” by his students (triggered is his word, not mine) and I get that the intention was to show how he had a bad internal reaction and then chose a better outward reaction, but to me his examples showed that he’s extremely sensitive in ways other people can’t anticipate. I think there’s a better answer for situations like these. Because let’s face it, most people don’t care about your feelings. They don’t have the time and energy. We also all have completely different ideas about what is acceptable behavior. I think it’s important (as an adult) to learn to accept this, otherwise you’re going to go through life feeling triggered by lots of small interactions that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I think it’s fair to expect people not to verbally abuse you, but if you have a small meltdown because you don’t like the way someone you barely know asked you a question...you’re gonna have a bad time. People are always going to be snippy, sarcastic and dismissive. I find the best thing to do isn’t to find a way to suck it up every time it happens and force yourself to react better and then pull them aside later for a little talk, but rather, understand that not everyone cares and they shouldn’t have to. Then you don’t have to manage your reaction because it will barely register to you as a problem. It will be, “Oh man, that guy’s cranky” and not, “HOW DARE HE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!” I think the author essentially wants to give the world sensitivity training, but if we manage our expectations we won’t need people we barely know to change so we can be happy. It’s really freeing to not expect so much from everyone. None of this is to say we shouldn’t strive to treat each other better, but we can also learn to chill out with the expectation that everyone be nice all the time.

...more

flag 10 likes · Like · see review

Aug 15, 2019 Katie rated it it was amazing

“When I tell audiences how extreme reactions, over the course of time, can actually alter the brain structure of their children, the room goes quiet. Everyone is silently totaling up the times they lost their temper and went crazy on their kids, sizing up how much permanent damage they did.”

Ignore the questionable title and go read this book. The focus of Brackett’s study is on emotional intelligence, and that we, as a society, need to improve the way we recognize, understand, label, express, an “When I tell audiences how extreme reactions, over the course of time, can actually alter the brain structure of their children, the room goes quiet. Everyone is silently totaling up the times they lost their temper and went crazy on their kids, sizing up how much permanent damage they did.”

Ignore the questionable title and go read this book. The focus of Brackett’s study is on emotional intelligence, and that we, as a society, need to improve the way we recognize, understand, label, express, and regulate emotion (RULER). Many of his examples about how parents and teachers interact with their children/students dredged up painful memories for me. It also made me thankful for the adults in my life who had a high emotional IQ and we able to help me through my struggles.

I can no longer count the amount of times I’ve had a manager or colleague tell me “you need a thick skin” or “you wear your heart on your sleeve” or “I can’t tell what you’re thinking” or “you’re hyper sensitive” or “you’re too hard on yourself.” The balance of emoting too little vs too much is absolutely impossible to manage, so it’s no surprise that Brackett hones in on this culture of saying “I’m fine” ALL THE TIME. We are conditioned to not talk about how we feel, and oftentimes, we’re even punished for our feelings. As you can imagine, this has compounded over time to have a significant negative impact in the US.

“Over the last two decades, there has been a 28 percent increase in our suicide rate.” This should be outrageous to every one of us. Brackett asserts (in so many words) that the “tough love” model of our parents and grandparents isn’t working⁠—it’s actually perpetuating anger, bullying, and anxiety among young people, and can lead to decreased productivity and burnout among employees.

You don’t need to have children (or want children) to learn important lessons from this book, but there is a certain emphasis on affecting change through schools, teaching, and parenting. On a basic level, I think it’s critical for everyone to read this book and understand that if you suffered as a child, your feelings were valid. Thank you Celadon Books for reaching out and sending me an advance reading copy!

See more of my reviews: Blog // Instagram ...more

flag 10 likes · Like · see review

Dec 08, 2019 Hayley Stenger rated it really liked it

As a parent this book was helpful and I have already been employing some of the tactics when addressing my children. I really appreciate Dr. Marc Brackett's perspective and self-awareness (which kind of goes without saying). I also am sad to read about education and our current system. We owe our kids more than we are giving them. I hope other parents and educators stumble upon this book as I have. ...more

flag 7 likes · Like · see review

May 15, 2020 mindful.librarian ☀️ rated it it was amazing

Shelves: nonfiction, education, mindfulness-and-yoga, adult-reads

Must read for teachers and parents

flag 6 likes · Like · see review

Aug 07, 2019 Kim rated it really liked it

Shelves: non-fiction, psychology-social-science, 2019, arc

Thank you to @celadonbooks for the Advance Reading Copy of Permission to Feel. Please look past the "touchy-feely, warm and fuzzy" title, if you're inclined to be turned off by it. This is a thought-provoking and very relatable read that should inspire teenagers through adults to take a hard look at the role emotional intelligence plays in our society. You don't have to get too far into it before the relevance becomes evident. Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a significant other, a co-worker Thank you to @celadonbooks for the Advance Reading Copy of Permission to Feel. Please look past the "touchy-feely, warm and fuzzy" title, if you're inclined to be turned off by it. This is a thought-provoking and very relatable read that should inspire teenagers through adults to take a hard look at the role emotional intelligence plays in our society. You don't have to get too far into it before the relevance becomes evident. Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a significant other, a co-worker or employer, there will be a theme that resonates within these pages. Additionally, we don't need to look far to see how our emotions are targeted on a near-constant basis, either from people within our circles or those who earn a profit/benefit from manufacturing outrage; understanding that manipulation and how we respond to it is increasingly important.

In Permission to Feel, the author explains how emotions directly influence us daily: where we direct our attention; how we make decisions; social relations; physical health; creativity, effectiveness, and performance. He describes how deeply impactful emotions are to the learning and professional environments, in addition to our social/personal interactions. It's part science, part story-telling, part manual for self-improvement, and part call to action for an entire society, all wrapped up in 241 pages. Perhaps the most important points are how we are failing our children as a society by ignoring the importance of teaching emotion regulation skills -- in large part because we adults don't have those skills ourselves.

And for those who remain skeptical about the topic of emotional intelligence and/or the title, there's this apt summary:
"To some observers, emotional intelligence or emotion skills signify something fuzzy and touchy-feely, like a retreat from reality...In fact, just the opposite is true...Emotional intelligence doesn't allow feelings to get in the way -- it does just the opposite. It restores balance to our thought processes; it prevents emotions from having undue influence over our actions.."

All of that said, the title of the book really does not do it justice. I personally love this topic, but had I not received an ARC, I likely would not have read it based on the title. The subtitle is much more relevant to the content.

#PermissiontoFeel #CeladonReads ...more

flag 5 likes · Like · see review

Nov 18, 2019 Karen rated it really liked it

“But the trigger is inside us, not out there. We have to take responsibility for our actions rather than shift the blame elsewhere. It may not have felt like a choice, but it surely was—we decide how we’ll respond to life’s provocations.”

I find it interesting that so many people are unhappy with the title of this book. The way I interpreted it was that if we really own the feelings we have, name them, and let ourselves feel them, we can then decide how to respond to them. To be able to get to th “But the trigger is inside us, not out there. We have to take responsibility for our actions rather than shift the blame elsewhere. It may not have felt like a choice, but it surely was—we decide how we’ll respond to life’s provocations.”

I find it interesting that so many people are unhappy with the title of this book. The way I interpreted it was that if we really own the feelings we have, name them, and let ourselves feel them, we can then decide how to respond to them. To be able to get to the place of responding it's really important to actually feel your feelings. Lack of awareness, lack of naming, are, in my opinion, all ways in which we don't always give ourselves permission or space to feel the feelings. Maybe I misinterpreted what the title was trying to say but alas this interpretation made the title totally make sense for me.

I've seen Marc Brackett live before when he visited the elementary school my kids attended at the time, I've sent my kids to SEL-heavy schools all the way from elementary to high school. I believe strongly in Marc's assertion that a high EQ is going to be crucial to one's success in life. So I was already a primed audience for this book.

And it didn't disappoint. I think the parts where the book shines are where the author shares his own journey and experiences. I wish there were more of that. I like the RULER framework: recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing and regulating. I've found journaling can really help me with the first three and I am constantly working on the latter two.

It was painful to read the chapter on emotions at home and understanding how much of my learning comes from my own history and how much I am impacting my children's story. I am grateful that there are opportunities to course-correct but I also am reminded how much more I have to work on this in my home (and in my work!)

Even if the title makes you uncomfortable, or maybe especially then, I would recommend this read. IMHO, emotions are there whether we acknowledge them or not and they have the capacity to wreak havoc when we don't.

thank you to the publisher and netgalley for an advanced copy in return for an honest review. ...more

flag 6 likes · Like · see review

Aug 29, 2019 Genevieve Trono rated it it was amazing

Permission to Feel is a wonderful guide to recognizing our own emotions and those of others. Author Marc Brackett has spent years researching this important topic after his experiences as a child showed him how life-changing it was to have someone see, listen and truly recognize the things you have gone through as an individual.

While Brackett has spent decades studying this important topic, he presents the information in this book in an attainable and accessible manner for his readers. The first ...more

flag 4 likes · Like · see review

Dec 30, 2020 Sophie rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Definitely want to book mark this one to read again in the future. Have also downloaded the mood meter to help increase my own vocabulary for words to express how I feel!

flag 3 likes · Like · see review

Jul 02, 2020 Katie J rated it really liked it

I greatly appreciated the author’s willingness to share his personal narrative and journey. I read this book for a class and while it was definitely more “text book” in layout, it had vignettes woven in, which is what keeps me going in any type of reading for learning vs. pleasure. I feel blessed to work in a district that is offering classes to support to social-emotional health and wellness of our staff, in order to provide these essential skills to our students.

flag 3 likes · Like · see review

Jun 19, 2020 Heidi rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: health

I had read Susan David's "Emotional Agility," which then led me to Marc Brackett's work. I absolutely loved this book and have become very invested in Dr. Brackett's work. I've been following his book club on Zoom (weekly videos for about 6 weeks), which can be found on YouTube. He unpacks two chapters at a time and gives even more context to his work, adding in personal accounts. I didn't know that this book would have so much insight on emotional intelligence and social-emotional learning in s ...more

flag 3 likes · Like · see review

Oct 14, 2019 Lynne Griffin rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2019

Years ago I was trained in the Yale emotional intelligence curriculum. I’ve long-awaited the commercial audience application of the material for teaching emotional intelligence in families, in communities, and in the workplace. Bracket does a terrific job of making social emotional learning research accessible to all. Highly recommend.

flag 3 likes · Like · see review

Aug 27, 2019 Janet rated it it was amazing

Shelves: k-e-k, zz-2019ng-when-i-read

When it is hot as heck outside and there is nothing "cool" to do but reading sitting in front of the a/c as everything else makes you end up a sweaty mess, it is the perfect day for a speed reader. (Yes it is hot and humid in Canada!)

I received a temporary digital Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

From the publisher, as I do not repeat the contents or story of books in reviews, I let them do it as they do it better than I do 😸.

The m
When it is hot as heck outside and there is nothing "cool" to do but reading sitting in front of the a/c as everything else makes you end up a sweaty mess, it is the perfect day for a speed reader. (Yes it is hot and humid in Canada!)

I received a temporary digital Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

From the publisher, as I do not repeat the contents or story of books in reviews, I let them do it as they do it better than I do 😸.

The mental well-being of children and adults is shockingly poor. Marc Brackett, author of Permission to Feel, knows why. And he knows what we can do.

"We have a crisis on our hands, and its victims are our children."

Marc Brackett is a professor in Yale University’s Child Study Center and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In his 25 years as an emotion scientist, he has developed a remarkably effective plan to improve the lives of children and adults – a blueprint for understanding our emotions and using them wisely so that they help, rather than hinder, our success and well-being. The core of his approach is a legacy from his childhood, from an astute uncle who gave him permission to feel. He was the first adult who managed to see Marc, listen to him, and recognize the suffering, bullying, and abuse he’d endured. And that was the beginning of Marc’s awareness that what he was going through was temporary. He wasn’t alone, he wasn’t stuck on a timeline, and he wasn’t “wrong” to feel scared, isolated, and angry. Now, best of all, he could do something about it.

In the decades since, Marc has led large research teams and raised tens of millions of dollars to investigate the roots of emotional well-being. His prescription for healthy children (and their parents, teachers, and schools) is a system called RULER, a high-impact and fast-effect approach to understanding and mastering emotions that have already transformed the thousands of schools that have adopted it. RULER has been proven to reduce stress and burnout, improve school climate, and enhance academic achievement. This book is the culmination of Marc’s development of RULER and his way to share the strategies and skills with readers around the world. It is tested, and it works.

This book combines rigour, science, passion and inspiration in equal parts. Too many children and adults are suffering; they are ashamed of their feelings and emotionally unskilled, but they don’t have to be. Marc Brackett’s life mission is to reverse this course, and this book can show you how.

As some who grew up in a household where NO ONE COULD SHOW EMOTIONS OR ANGER - and still cannot this day (I still have to internalize it despite being in my early 50s so is it any wonder why I am such a major mess emotionally 99% of the time?) The book is smartly organized into divisions and it explains the RULER concept in easy language. Emotional wellness is so important for kids and adults and this excellent book can be a boon for both parents, educators, and grown-up children like me who need validation for their ability to have emotions and express them to their families! ...more

flag 3 likes · Like · see review

Jan 05, 2020 Anandini rated it liked it

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

flag 4 likes · Like · see review

Sep 20, 2019 Stephanie rated it really liked it

I'm not totally clear what an “emotion scientist” does, but have long been interested in the concept of “emotional intelligence” and Brene Brown’s shame-focused research. Dr. Marc Brackett, Ph.D., is a professor in in the Child Study Center at Yale , and the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.Thanks to Celadon Books and NetGalley, I received a copy of Dr. Brackett’s book Permission To Feel in exchange for my honest review.

As a Child, Dr. Brackett was taught by his un ...more

flag 3 likes · Like · see review

Aug 30, 2019 Anne rated it it was amazing

Shelves: relationship-with-myself

This is an extremely important book that everyone should read, and especially educators because our emotional lives are the foundation of our good health and well-being. It is highly readable and the author uses real life situations and stories as well as scientific research and facts that clearly illustrate how vital it is for all of us,parents, teachers and children alike, to be aware of and able to regulate and accept our emotions.

Thanks to NetGalley, the author and publisher for an advanced ...more

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Jul 01, 2020 Karen rated it really liked it

Thank you Marc! A good book—open and vulnerable, linking evidence based research with my life. Practical. Every human being-especially those that raise or work with little human beings should read. But relevant for all of us that have emotions, feelings, and moods. Read it for yourself and read it for those you impact. Great interview on Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast as well.

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

May 04, 2020 Jenny Knipp rated it it was amazing

EVERYONE should read this book. At least once. Life changer

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Sep 13, 2020 Jessica Gonzatto rated it really liked it

Great guide for self-knowledge, compassion and understanding. Everyone should read this!

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Aug 17, 2020 Kylie Martinez rated it liked it

I’m rating this book a 3 purely because it isn’t radical information to me this year. Had I read this book a few years ago when I believed all of my negative emotions were from temptations or that they were invalid, I would have been floored by this.

It is amazing to me how many people (including myself) were not ever taught emotional intelligence. This book gives you actionable ideas and advice if you are starting from scratch.

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Oct 20, 2019 jbgbookgirl rated it really liked it

Shelves: completed_in_2019, netgalley, social-sciences, 2019

There is so really great information in this book that I find very relevant to today's society. I am a mother to a teenage son and I am grateful he is growing up in a time where it is acceptable for men to show emotion and be vulnerable. It's a confusing time as we try to navigate this new territory and this book is a great resource to have. I found that the book was a bit repetitive esp with regards to his personal story. I think the author was trying to make it part memoir but the flow was a b ...more

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Sep 16, 2020 Ruthie Aldrich rated it it was ok

Shelves: read-in-2020

I found out about this book via Brene Brown’s podcast, in her interview with the author. I was intrigued to learn more. And man, I wanted to like this one so much. It just had too many issues.

First off, the author starts the book by attributing America’s high rates of anxiety, depression, suicide, etc. to our low emotional intelligence. As someone who battles anxiety, I took issue with the fact that he was implying that simply learning how to process your emotions will solve these complex mental I found out about this book via Brene Brown’s podcast, in her interview with the author. I was intrigued to learn more. And man, I wanted to like this one so much. It just had too many issues.

First off, the author starts the book by attributing America’s high rates of anxiety, depression, suicide, etc. to our low emotional intelligence. As someone who battles anxiety, I took issue with the fact that he was implying that simply learning how to process your emotions will solve these complex mental health issues that result from chemical imbalances in the brain.

The book did have useful summaries of research that explains why understanding, feeling, and expressing emotions is critical to our health. I found these parts interesting, but also started skimming over them since I already understood this point before starting the book (and it got very redundant).

The one part of the book I really enjoyed was his explanation of the “mood meter.” As he says, our emotions all lie somewhere on the spectrum from low to high energy and low to high pleasantness. For example, if you’re angry, you’re high energy and low pleasantness, or if you’re calm, you’re low energy high pleasantness. He gives each quadrant of the mood meter colors, which creates useful language (“I’m in the green zone”). He also created an app called “Mood Meter” to help track these emotions and zones you experience day-by-day, which I downloaded and enjoy using.

However, this felt like another self help-style book that just didn’t have enough content to fill an entire book. The gist of it is that the author created a nifty acronym for dealing with emotions (RULER):

Recognize
Understand
Label
Express
Regulate

This is a cool acronym. But as an emotionally intelligent person, I am already very aware of how to recognize, understand, label, and express my emotions. The trickiest part is regulating, of course, so I was hopeful he would have useful advice.

Yet, his tips for regulating emotion were either obvious or impractical. I.e, he recommends things like deep breathing, minimizing screen time, going for walks, etc. - duh, everyone knows those things. Other recommendations felt overly simple and unrealistic. At some point he basically said, if you’re dreading a one-on-one meeting at work, just turn it into a group meeting and your problem is solved. Hmm. That doesn’t feel very practical to me. I’m sure my coworkers would feel weird if I randomly invited them to meetings they don’t have stakes in, just because I have difficulties dealing with a certain person.

There were many examples of that. But, the point is, I just don’t think this was worth reading as an entire book. The bulk of its useful information can be summarized in this review. If you’re interested in the topic, I would recommend just listening to Brene’s interview and skipping the book altogether (unless you are completely new to or uncomfortable with emotions).
...more

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Nov 02, 2019 Wendy rated it really liked it

As a teacher at a school who has been trained and uses the RULER method, I was familiar with it before reading the book. My biggest takeaway from this book on healthy emotional intelligence and regulation is that it is applicable in all areas of life and more people need to read this book.

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Nov 26, 2019 Dixie added it · review of another edition

I can't say that I loved this or that I particularly liked it. I found it informative. It included many real-life examples of using social and emotional learning skills. The style didn't particularly engage me in the material.
I requested and voluntarily read an advanced review copy provided by the publisher via Netgalley and I offer my honest opinion in response. ...more

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Dec 28, 2020 Dan Connors rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2020-books

Are emotions good for us, or would we be better off without them? Many of us, especially males, had childhoods where emotions were almost taboo- especially sadness and fear. The subject of emotions is often ignored until things blow up or become unbearable. As human beings, our emotions are always there- reacting and prodding our behaviors, whether we like it or not.

Permission to Feel takes a look at the science of emotions, and encourages readers to look at their feelings from a wider perspec ...more

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

Aug 26, 2019 Tiffany rated it it was amazing

Shelves: advanced-reader-copy, non-fiction

I love books that help us better understand and connect with our human psyche and emotions. Permission To Feel by Marc Brackett, Ph. D. does that in such an insightful and meaningful way. A big thank you to Celadon Books for the advanced copy. This is an exceptionally honest, compelling, eye opening and very necessary book. The author really explains to us how the importance of emotional learning is conducive to the wellness of our society. This brilliant book is one that everyone should read.⭐️ ...more

flag 2 likes · Like · see review

« previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 … next »

new topic
Discuss This Book

There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »

Recommend It | Stats | Recent Status Updates

Readers also enjoyed

See similar books…

Genres

Nonfiction

124 users

Psychology

102 users

Parenting

87 users

Self Help

74 users

Education

37 users

Health > Mental Health

25 users

Self Help > Personal Development

23 users

Audiobook

11 users

Health

11 users

Psychology > Emotion

9 users

See top shelves…

About Marc Brackett

Marc Brackett

130 followers

Books by Marc Brackett

Keeping Score ~ A Guide to Love and Relationships

The Depthvale Detectives and the Great Education Crisis: A Guide to Contributive Learning in Schools

More…

7 Books To Make The Lead Up to College Less Stressful

Across the U.S., many high-school seniors are entering the nail-biting period of waiting for college admissions decisions. While the die has been...

Trivia About Permission to Fee...

No trivia or quizzes yet. Add some now »

Quotes from Permission to Fee...

“The core skill of Understanding is the search for the underlying theme or possible cause that fuels the emotion. We’re not asking questions and listening to answers just to provide a sympathetic ear. As we listen, we’re looking for a meaning that goes deeper than the words being said.” — 3 likes

“Labeling emotions accurately increases self-awareness and helps us to communicate emotions effectively, reducing misunderstanding in social interactions.” — 3 likes

More quotes…

See a Problem?

Preview — Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett

Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive

Get A Copy

Friend Reviews

Reader Q&A

Lists with This Book

Community Reviews

new topic
Discuss This Book

Readers also enjoyed

Genres

About Marc Brackett

Books by Marc Brackett

Related Articles

Trivia About Permission to Fee...

Quotes from Permission to Fee...

See a Problem?

Preview — Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett

Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive

Get A Copy

Friend Reviews

Reader Q&A

Lists with This Book

Community Reviews

new topicDiscuss This Book

Readers also enjoyed

Genres

About Marc Brackett

Books by Marc Brackett

Related Articles

Trivia About Permission to Fee...

Quotes from Permission to Fee...

new topic
Discuss This Book