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Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive

4.16  ·  Rating details ·  259 ratings  ·  75 reviews
The mental well-being of children and adults is shockingly poor. Marc Brackett, author of Permission to Feel, knows why. And he knows what we can do.
"We have a crisis on our hands, and its victims are our children."

Marc Brackett is a professor in Yale University’s Child Study Center and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In his 25 years as an
Hardcover, 304 pages
Published September 3rd 2019 by Celadon Books
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Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader
Aug 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Permission to Feel is a thoughtful, well-searched book about emotional intelligence and how it helps adults and children alike.

I wish Dr. Brackett’s program was available locally so I could see it in action because I have loved what I read about so far. He has designed a program called RULER, which is a prescription for healthy children, and includes healthier parents, teachers, and children. The focus is emotional health, and I love that.

I’m so grateful I read this, and I hope parents and
Heidi The Reader
"And when we can't recognize, understand, or put into words what we feel, it's impossible for us to do anything about it: to master our feelings — not to deny them but to accept them all, even embrace them — and learn to make our emotions work for us, not against us." pg 2

Marc Brackett, Ph.D., is the director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In this book, Permission to Feel, he has given the world a new set of tools to learn more about ourselves through our emotions, to facilitate
Jon Nakapalau
Aug 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
One of the best books on emotional balance I have read in quite some time. Mark Brackett does a fantastic job of 'mapping' all the problem territories one encounters when emotional boundaries are explored. The advice that Mark gives is based on his extensive experience (25 years as an emotion scientist) but is centered on a specific steps that can be taken and applied. Many of the issues facing our children today are covered with a rare applicability that translates smoothly into specific ...more
Jenny (Reading Envy)
Earlier this year, I read Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and took the accompanying test, testing lower than I would have liked to. Reading Permission to Feel helped me understand that emotional intelligence is something that must be modeled and taught intentionally (so that explains a lot.)

I appreciate this book because it can be read from a lot of perspectives - for personal growth, as a parent, an educator, or just a human in the world. Brackett unpacks emotional intelligence in the first part of
Oct 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: wellness, arc
Marc Brackett is a professor at Yale who studies emotional intelligence, especially in children. Through his research at Yale University’s Child Emotional Center, he’s come up with a science-based system called RULER that helps kids better process and express their emotions. He’s already implemented his method at hundreds of schools across the country and seen very positive (and quick) results.

The book is divided into three parts. Part One talks about what emotions are and how to become an
Amber Lea
Aug 08, 2019 rated it it was ok
I received an ARC (advanced reader copy) of this book which I was pretty excited about because everyone knows I have a self-help book addiction.

First, I’m going to address what we’re probably all thinking: the title isn’t the best. I was too embarrassed to read this on the subway or in the waiting room at my doctor’s office. To me, it conjures up images of weird touchy-feely group therapy sessions where people do things like punch pillows while yelling, “I HATE YOU DAD!” or dudes in pleated
Aug 07, 2019 rated it really liked it
Thank you to @celadonbooks for the Advance Reading Copy of Permission to Feel. Please look past the "touchy-feely, warm and fuzzy" title, if you're inclined to be turned off by it. This is a thought-provoking and very relatable read that should inspire teenagers through adults to take a hard look at the role emotional intelligence plays in our society. You don't have to get too far into it before the relevance becomes evident. Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a significant other, a co-worker ...more
Nov 18, 2019 rated it really liked it
“But the trigger is inside us, not out there. We have to take responsibility for our actions rather than shift the blame elsewhere. It may not have felt like a choice, but it surely was—we decide how we’ll respond to life’s provocations.”

I find it interesting that so many people are unhappy with the title of this book. The way I interpreted it was that if we really own the feelings we have, name them, and let ourselves feel them, we can then decide how to respond to them. To be able to get to
Genevieve Trono
Aug 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Permission to Feel is a wonderful guide to recognizing our own emotions and those of others. Author Marc Brackett has spent years researching this important topic after his experiences as a child showed him how life-changing it was to have someone see, listen and truly recognize the things you have gone through as an individual.

While Brackett has spent decades studying this important topic, he presents the information in this book in an attainable and accessible manner for his readers. The first
Aug 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
“When I tell audiences how extreme reactions, over the course of time, can actually alter the brain structure of their children, the room goes quiet. Everyone is silently totaling up the times they lost their temper and went crazy on their kids, sizing up how much permanent damage they did.”

Ignore the questionable title and go read this book. The focus of Brackett’s study is on emotional intelligence, and that we, as a society, need to improve the way we recognize, understand, label, express,
Hayley Stenger
Dec 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
As a parent this book was helpful and I have already been employing some of the tactics when addressing my children. I really appreciate Dr. Marc Brackett's perspective and self-awareness (which kind of goes without saying). I also am sad to read about education and our current system. We owe are kids more than we are giving them. I hope other parents and educators stumble upon this book as I have.
Lynne Griffin
Oct 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2019
Years ago I was trained in the Yale emotional intelligence curriculum. I’ve long-awaited the commercial audience application of the material for teaching emotional intelligence in families, in communities, and in the workplace. Bracket does a terrific job of making social emotional learning research accessible to all. Highly recommend.
Aug 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing

When it is hot as heck outside and there is nothing "cool" to do but reading sitting in front of the a/c as everything else makes you end up a sweaty mess, it is the perfect day for a speed reader. (Yes it is hot and humid in Canada!)

I received a temporary digital Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

From the publisher, as I do not repeat the contents or story of books in reviews, I let them do it as they do it better than I do .

The mental
Jul 26, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction-read

Feelings are complicated. On one hand, we’re supposed to understand what triggers them. On the other, we’re not supposed to let them create obstacles in our lives. It’s an impossible ask: have your feelings, but don’t react to them. This is why we need emotional intelligence.

Backed by 50 years of research, Permission to Feel is full of fascinating classroom and workplace success stories, along with facts about how stress and joy affect us biologically and
Aug 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is an extremely important book that everyone should read, and especially educators because our emotional lives are the foundation of our good health and well-being. It is highly readable and the author uses real life situations and stories as well as scientific research and facts that clearly illustrate how vital it is for all of us,parents, teachers and children alike, to be aware of and able to regulate and accept our emotions.

Thanks to NetGalley, the author and publisher for an advanced
Sep 20, 2019 rated it really liked it
I'm not totally clear what an “emotion scientist” does, but have long been interested in the concept of “emotional intelligence” and Brene Brown’s shame-focused research. Dr. Marc Brackett, Ph.D., is a professor in in the Child Study Center at Yale , and the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.Thanks to Celadon Books and NetGalley, I received a copy of Dr. Brackett’s book Permission To Feel in exchange for my honest review.

As a Child, Dr. Brackett was taught by his
There is so really great information in this book that I find very relevant to today's society. I am a mother to a teenage son and I am grateful he is growing up in a time where it is acceptable for men to show emotion and be vulnerable. It's a confusing time as we try to navigate this new territory and this book is a great resource to have. I found that the book was a bit repetitive esp with regards to his personal story. I think the author was trying to make it part memoir but the flow was a ...more
Nov 02, 2019 rated it really liked it
As a teacher at a school who has been trained and uses the RULER method, I was familiar with it before reading the book. My biggest takeaway from this book on healthy emotional intelligence and regulation is that it is applicable in all areas of life and more people need to read this book.
I can't say that I loved this or that I particularly liked it. I found it informative. It included many real-life examples of using social and emotional learning skills. The style didn't particularly engage me in the material.
I requested and voluntarily read an advanced review copy provided by the publisher via Netgalley and I offer my honest opinion in response.
Aug 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I love books that help us better understand and connect with our human psyche and emotions. Permission To Feel by Marc Brackett, Ph. D. does that in such an insightful and meaningful way. A big thank you to Celadon Books for the advanced copy. This is an exceptionally honest, compelling, eye opening and very necessary book. The author really explains to us how the importance of emotional learning is conducive to the wellness of our society. This brilliant book is one that everyone should read.

If you read one book on Emotional Intelligence, Permission to Feel is it. Based on decades of research and his own personal and professional experience Brackett guides the reader to understand why not recognizing and finding a healthy way to deal with emotions is a fundamental cause of so much stress/misery and mental illness in the U.S. Brackett lays out his own program ("RULER") that helps people understand and resolve their own emotional issues. If you want a tool to help you understand and ...more
Dec 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: audiobook
I received a free copy of this audiobook via the ALC program for educators, which is pretty awesome, to be honest. I was not required to provide a review or a link in return for this review, but chose to provide a short review anyway.

This book deals with the influence of emotions on us and others, and on how to recognize and regulate your emotions. It contains references to some compelling research on the topic, which is always nice (I like it when this kind of book cites a lot of
Aug 30, 2019 rated it really liked it
4 stars
Permission To Feel by Marc Brackett is a fascinating look at emotions and how better communications and expression of said emotions have the ability to change your life. This book should be required reading for all business leaders, bosses and school teachers. I really enjoyed this book even though I am not the target audience. I am able to easily see how these concepts would have helped me had a teacher employed them while I was in school.
I highly recommend this book.
I received a
Aug 31, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Permission to feel is a very good book and explains ALOT on mental health. This is a great book to read for anyone that is studying psychology, knows someone with a issue or just wants a better understanding. You will be very happy you read this. There’s a lot of knowledge put into this book. Happy reading!!!
Christina Potter Bieloh
Aug 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Permission to Feel is an engaging, inspiring book. I took many notes and have made a list of ideas that I want to immediately incorporate into my classroom as a result of reading this book. What I learned from Marc Brackett's work will help me to become a better teacher.

I want to add this book to my own library as a reference book to which I know I would come back to over and over again. I can better learn to understand how I am feeling. I need to revisit and study the parts of "RULER".I can't
Sep 24, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: arc, ebook
In Permission to Feel, Marc Brackett, Ph.D., provides readers with a set of tools to help build emotional intelligence that can be used personally, as a parent, as an educator, or as someone in a leadership position. The book is broken down into easy to understand sections based on tool and is well-researched, thoughtful, and even though it is presented by an expert in the field, easy to understand. I think the author successfully uses personal examples and anecdotes to relate experiences and ...more
Dec 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I loved this book. I love how he values and invites emotions and explains why they are so important to our well-being. He has done a lot with schools, which I would like to learn more about. I’ll be revisiting it again in the future.
Catherine A.
Aug 18, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Marc Brackett provides a clear method for identifying, understanding, and teaching emotional intelligence. As a high school teacher, I see the increase of depression and anxiety among students. Brackett provides practical applications that enhance personal and professional environments. The author includes extensive research that supports his methods and his results. I will definitely recommend this book for professional development, and I will definitely begin utilizing Brackett's methods in my ...more
Gene Bobker
Nov 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
School shared book club for the teachers. He's an inspirational speaker.
Noreen Zayna Barlas
Sep 24, 2019 rated it really liked it
4.5 stars

While some reviewers did not like the title, I personally picked up the book precisely for the title. Emotions, aaaaah, the uncharted and denied territory. I thoroughly enjoyed the delivery of the information. It was personal and relateable. The RULER is a system, one which would be nice to see employed by all sectors and in general, all people. While others may have felt there was too much explanation for simple concepts, I wanted more information around actual implementation (maybe I
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“Most of us are unaware of how important vocabulary is to emotion skills. As we’ve seen, using many different words implies valuable distinctions—that we’re not always simply angry but are sometimes annoyed, irritated, frustrated, disgusted, aggravated, and so on. If we can’t discern the difference, it suggests that we can’t understand it either. It’s the difference between a rich emotional life and an impoverished one. Your child will inherit the one you provide.” 1 likes
“In one study, sixth graders who went five days without glancing at a smartphone or other digital screen were better at reading emotions than their peers from the same school who continued to spend hours each day looking at their phones, tablets, computers, and so on.” 0 likes
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