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The Mister #1
The Mister
The passionate new romance from E L James, author of the phenomenal #1 bestselling Fifty Shades Trilogy
London, 2019. Life has been easy for Maxim Trevelyan. With his good looks, aristocratic connections, and money, he’s never had to work and he’s rarely slept alone. But all that changes when tragedy strikes and Maxim inherits his family’s noble title, wealth, and estates, and all the responsibility that entails. It’s a role he’s not prepared for and one that he struggles to face.
But his biggest challenge is fighting his desire for an unexpected, enigmatic young woman who’s recently arrived in England, possessing little more than a dangerous and troublesome past. Reticent, beautiful, and musically gifted, she’s an alluring mystery, and Maxim’s longing for her deepens into a passion that he’s never experienced and dares not name. Just who is Alessia Demachi? Can Maxim protect her from the malevolence that threatens her? And what will she do when she learns that he’s been hiding secrets of his own?
From the heart of London through wild, rural Cornwall to the bleak, forbidding beauty of the Balkans, The Mister is a roller-coaster ride of danger and desire that leaves the reader breathless to the very last page.
London, 2019. Life has been easy for Maxim Trevelyan. With his good looks, aristocratic connections, and money, he’s never had to work and he’s rarely slept alone. But all that changes when tragedy strikes and Maxim inherits his family’s noble title, wealth, and estates, and all the responsibility that entails. It’s a role he’s not prepared for and one that he struggles to face.
But his biggest challenge is fighting his desire for an unexpected, enigmatic young woman who’s recently arrived in England, possessing little more than a dangerous and troublesome past. Reticent, beautiful, and musically gifted, she’s an alluring mystery, and Maxim’s longing for her deepens into a passion that he’s never experienced and dares not name. Just who is Alessia Demachi? Can Maxim protect her from the malevolence that threatens her? And what will she do when she learns that he’s been hiding secrets of his own?
From the heart of London through wild, rural Cornwall to the bleak, forbidding beauty of the Balkans, The Mister is a roller-coaster ride of danger and desire that leaves the reader breathless to the very last page.
514 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 2019
About the author
E.L. James
72 books55.7k followersAll you need to know should be on here:
http://www.eljamesauthor.com/
Please come talk to me on twitter: @E_L_James
If you are interested in the play list from either of these books - please visit my youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/eljamesau...
http://www.eljamesauthor.com/
Please come talk to me on twitter: @E_L_James
If you are interested in the play list from either of these books - please visit my youtube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/eljamesau...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 5,282 reviews
March 20, 2020
note: "i once stated in a comment that the plot of this book is better off a movie rather than a book, so i have nothing against this book becoming a movie, i however am against the racism in this book. One example is that Albanians are portrayed narrow-minded backward people who don't properly educate their daughters and force them into marriages. This is not only in Albania, it's around the whole world, in every country, in every city. Albania doesn't often come in books, therefore it should not have been portrayed like this. I'm not saying E.L shouldn't have used Albania in her plot, I'm saying that she should have also added the positive, modern open-minded things and people in this book from Albania. My point is that if a movie is made, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T PORTRAY ALBANIA LIKE SOME TALIBAN VILLAGE.
"MSN: E L James reads excerpt from her steamy new book, ‘The Mister’"
me:
scroll down for long review
first, Da biggest problem of them all is that how on earth has this been approved to be published?!
Who edited this? I mean couldn't she/he stop e.l james or idk edit this better...where were the publishing team? especially the editor??
After finishing reading
The only way someone will like this book is
(a) they r under severe debt of E.L James
(b) r under employment of E.L James
(c) r a mutual friend of E.L James
(d)only see good, for example: if they ever got poor they will say that poverty is a blessing
OKiiieee
So lets get to the fucking point cuz this book is a waste of money/time/potential.
Y did i rate it 1(non deserving star)?
THE MOTHER FUCKING WRITING
It is HORRIBLE..HORRENDOUS.....i felt like i was reading moby dick or wait ....those spiritual nerve calming books that piss the shit out of you.
UGH writing. This is a 150 page story written into a 512 hundred bloody paged book.
The writing is soooooo elaborated and literally boring.
the story? the story was okay-ish (if you haven't read anything your whole life)
lets meet Alessia Demanchi
where r u going Alessia?
yes she behaves like this in the whole book.
Maxim Travelyn isn't sexy.
He isn't an alpha.
How do we describe Maxim's character? idk.. well....he is careless. Yes careless is a suitable word.
... he makes weird and prolonged decisions.
Wait, let me give you an example: If Maxim and Alessia were on a ship and alessia accidentally fell of the ship into the Pacific ocean instead on jumping right in to save her, maxim would first call Australian border/visa/immigration/gov to check wheter it's illegal for her to fall in the waters. Next he would call The Royal New-Zealand Navy to send in ships--yea all of this will be happening while alessia is a few feet away from the ship drowning--then our hero maxim will call hollywood to make a movie, bollywood to make punjabi songs, and k-pop for idk what...theenn maxim will remember panicking and jumping after to save alessia... sooooooo yeah u get the point right?
if u believe this is absurd then go read the book yourself and see how he saves her 2 times.
he is boring. sooo repetitive. He treats her like she's about to break any minute now.. which sounds sweet right?... NO!!! in a boring like HELL way NO!
not only are his actions careless but the WEIRD thing is that he doesn't give away two shits about 'the tragedy' he only cares why it happened bcuz so much burden has been thrown on him, ........then....he cries in front of alessia. ----i don't get it
that's not all... he treats women nicely but in his heart he's like 'go away' .... so what is Maxim? a double faced lizard. if he dosen't respect women...how in the underground frickity fuck hell does he respect alessia?! guess what? IT'S...NOT...REAL
HHHHHOOoooooo my GOD. the writing. the writing. the. fucking. writing.
two-thirds of the book they mostly meet like this
peekaboo
sounds extremely romantic
I would like to thank E.L James for giving me updates on how many eggs does Alessia want, whether one or two or how many eggs and bacon strips has Maxim cooked and especially important details like what brand of oil/margarine was used to cook breakfast.
thank you Erika, just thanks so much.
bra-fucking-vo
warning : this book contains hazardously boring details like the ones from Bared To You and sex scenes from Beautiful Disaster. BE WARE!!
especially the spontaneous "music to my dick"
The idea of a penis with two huge ears so the human companion of the penis can listen to penis music is the most erotic thing ever
FUCKING IMAGINE A DICK DANCING! HOW EROTIC!
Some newspaper said that this book is sexy...ummmm........well here is a piece of Maxim having sex with some other girl
""" “Take them off,” she commands, and points to my trousers as she stands over me, placing her feet wide apart.
“You do it,” I mouth.
She needs no further prompting and crawls up the bed to sit astride me, grinding down on my crotch. She drags her nails down my abdomen toward my fly.
Ow!
Fuck this! She’s dangerous. """
yeah....mmmmmmm...........this...........is hot?
*eyeroll*
oh lookie lookie ... what do we have here?? we are forced to come through the typical painful repetitive classic diamond edition E.L james exclamatory words now with new...words
zot!
stop!
no!
bloody hell!
zot!
oh no!
fuck.a.duck!
zot again.....
i felt a face emerging from the book and doing this to me:
someone please tell me
Sometimes i feel like my Dad wrote this (no he doesn't write novels) but this is his theory/mega life hack: "Take any topic and keep rephrasing it until you write a book on it. That will give ya success" he gave me this advice when i was in middle school and i had to write a 400 word essay on global warming...well i was foolish enough to take his advice. but when the teacher gave me the corrected assignment.. i swear it looked like a Camel had been slaughtered on it. i was nothing but tears.
i never repeated that mistake but sadly thats EXACTLY what e.l james did.
it is repetitive. it is LOUSY.
okay kids time for math
here take an excerpt from the mister:
""" "The fact is, she’s inspired me. The whole weekend I’ve immersed myself in my music. It’s provided a distraction from all my newfound and unwanted responsibility and a respite from my grief—or maybe I’ve found a way to channel my grief…I don’t know. I have three pieces completed, sketchy ideas for two more, and I’m tempted to put lyrics to one of them. I’ve ignored my phone, my e-mail—everyone, and for once in my life I’ve found solace in my own company. It’s been a revelation. Who knew I could be so productive? What I don’t understand is why she’s affected me like this when we’ve only exchanged a few words. It doesn’t make sense to me, but I don’t want to overthink it." """
ok see this? now kids multiply it by 10. and double it and now multiply this by 33.
so kids that's how you write a phenomenal *snort* book
oh and what is it with this author and sex during periods?! i mean don't write stuff that makes me wanna gag.
“Surfing the crimson tide has never been an issue for you,” Caroline scoffs
......wait......what??
ewwww. don't describe it like that woman! please
i know this is an idiom but there r better ways to describe this!
So for all of you 'red room of pain fans' the author gives out a tease and my heart attack makes a debut there
“It’s just a darkroom,” he says, and flicks on the dim overhead light so the red glow vanishes
but thank heavens there isn't any so...i'm happy..?..
Another thing that was wrong with this book was that either there was no intimacy for long bloody chapters
or
either a whole freaking chapter was about one sex... f@#% S@!%^%$!!!!!!!!
Did i mention that 2/3 of this book was about a normal couple routine? no.. beware
wait wait the fun is coming. the typical e.l 'hero saves heroin "cheesily" 2 times'
oh dear lord
he brings her to his palace like mansion cuz y'know e.l james characters make jeff bezos look poor... so yeah
and the kidcheezping scene
my favorite part when Anatoli comes to collect Alessia,
Alessia mans up
Finally when something bloody decides to happen in this book E.L decides to make it lame.
spoiler Alissia's fiance kidnap/abducts/forces/i don't have words her
the cheeznapping scene goes oooooonnn and ooooooonnnnnnnnn for painful chapters and chapters and chapters.
that's it.
I HAVE A FUCKING MIGRAINE. I need to call Oxford medical whatever to research on me. can you get a migraine from a boring book? yes!
So then the author decides to super rush the ending..leaving US ALL with the most ridiculous, stupidest, lamest fungusest ending ever.
THE MISTER
THIS BOOK
1) Is repetitive
2)Has unnecessary detailed details that go on for pages
3) Is elaborated/ stretched
4)Needed more editing
5)Is 13 chapters extra
6)Has a story that needs more events
7)Has a story that is weak
8)Has a male protagonist that needs a slap from my mom and a punch from my dad
9)Was written by an author who needs a creative writing course from Cambridge
10)Has an ending that looks like shit smeared on paper
P.S: the sex scenes will only be found 0.00000000001% sexy by people who are reading sex for the first time, are virgin, never saw porn, don't know what dick is---you get the shit
I can almost imagine the Author writing the book like this:
tsk tsk tsk the racism in this book tsk tsk tsk
Dear whoever-is-reading- let's do some heart talk shall we?
booooooo hhooooooo hhhoooooo
why did i read this book?
booooooo hhooooo00oo hhhooooooooo
i regret reading this book
booooooo hhooooo00oo hhhhhooooooooooo
i'm so happy for all who have DNFed this book
BOOooooo Bitching HOOOOOOOOOO
this book was just rushed in hopes for earning more money (which once google told me when we were gossiping that she has a lot)
I felt drunk during this book--which i was not--
RATING: 1 painful goodread's star
Will I read this book again: eeewwwwwwwwwwwww whhhyyyy would i do that?! no! never!
...but the good thing about this book is that i can read this to my grandma [omitting the sex scenes of course] before bedtime so that she and i sleeepp heavily after a tragically boring book like this
thanks for reading! happy reads!
may the odds be ever in you favor! and sweet dreams!
aannnnnnddddddddd
.
.
.
.
i'm out!
April 18, 2019
I live in Texas, and with summer approaching, I thought I'd plan ahead for once. Which is a surprise in itself, because I'm very last-minute. Like that time I got pregnant with my third child, and I kept meaning to tell my husband, but I was in college and I worked full-time, so I kept putting it off and putting it off, even though I wrote it on a sticky note, but then after I gave birth, Heath was all like, "What the heck, Colleen?" Yeah, procrastination can really cause a wedge in a marriage. Anyway, so I ordered this mister from Amazon. You just hook it up to your existing water hose and it can spray a fine mist up to fifteen feet.
I haven't actually received the mister in the mail yet, but they did send me this instruction manual, and let me tell you. I can't fucking wait.
Am I allowed to cuss on here?
Anyway. This was the hottest instruction manual I've ever read. Which is good, because Texas. Can't wait for the product to arrive because apparently, not only is the mister not the only product, but it comes with a Lord, and a Housekeeper, and a grand piano, NONE of which were listed in the description as accompanying parts. I usually don't find deals like this on Amazon.
Anyway. I'll update this review when all the pieces of my order arrive, but FIVE STARS for this instruction manual.
I haven't actually received the mister in the mail yet, but they did send me this instruction manual, and let me tell you. I can't fucking wait.
Am I allowed to cuss on here?
Anyway. This was the hottest instruction manual I've ever read. Which is good, because Texas. Can't wait for the product to arrive because apparently, not only is the mister not the only product, but it comes with a Lord, and a Housekeeper, and a grand piano, NONE of which were listed in the description as accompanying parts. I usually don't find deals like this on Amazon.
Anyway. I'll update this review when all the pieces of my order arrive, but FIVE STARS for this instruction manual.
April 18, 2019
"Yes. For a woman dressed in a nylon housecoat, she’s hot."
well i mean, at least i'll have a new joke to tell my therapist this week. dnf @30% (i tried, i swear)
_______________
*cracks knuckles*
Let's start by taking you on the journey. From start tofinish 30% (i mean, i was finished by about 5% but I was raised to be a trooper and troop i did.)
When I first saw that Ms. James was launching a new standalone novel, my first thought like I assume all other people's thoughts were went to FSOG. That trilogy regardless of whether it was a disaster, a passer-by or a godsend in your life, was something of a global Category 5, DEFCON 1, 10th magnitude phenomena that took the world by storm.
Having read FSOG a long time back (just the first one. unfortunately, i couldn't troop for more.) I don't really remember my thoughts and whether I liked it or not didn't matter because looking back now, I don't really like what it stands for. Yet still, I respect all those lovers of the romance because for some, It actually regenerated / originated their love for the genre.
So, I thought what better way to gather my thoughts about this author then to read her upcoming standalone. By now, her writing would have improved right? her character development and her plot skills must have enhanced somehow? their should be some any sort of improvement?
i can't believe i put on my good crocs for this
Without even starting the book, I was cautious about the premise. A wealthy, manwhorey, newly appointed Earl starts getting the hots for his illegally immigrated with a language barrier, beautiful in pink granny panties (he actually had to point this out), apparently limited access to technology house cleaner. Before I even get into all the NO, ERIKA, NO!'s in that... let me give you a treat.
→ Chapter One.
First fucking line.
*ahem*
→ We proceed to find out that his brother just died and he is currently fucking his brother's wife.
→ He is now "Lord Trevethick." When it comes to names in books, I have no problem if the author has either random-word-generated or dictionary-swallowed names in their story. But that doesn't mean that once in a while I'll get a name that I love to absoulte bits. This name was the only selling point in this story, it brought me comedic relief. Everytime I read it, i giggled. Maxim be thicker than a snicker.
→ The writing was so poor. It felt very amateur and I shit you not, I felt like Gollum was speaking sometimes. Both of them had inner monologues (ofcourse, we like to keep the inner goddesses here in the ELJ headquarters) that were constantly repetitive and yappy. If Smeagle was the vibe ELJ was going for when writing her romance. Then yes 10/10 stars;
→ The dialogue and the monologue was all very jarring and juxtaposed. It felt like I was in the front seat of a car that kept braking and going, getting whiplash from the damn seatbelt. The writing was juvenile because it wasn't descriptive at all. It was this then that and here's how it made me feel a lil'
→ I absolutely hate when there is no character development or dimensions, something that lets you get hooked to loving the story because you're rooting for the characters. But something I hate even more is when authors use diversity in their books and don't even get it right. There are so many reviews coming out that note specifics on how the portrayal of Albanians is very incorrect in this book.
→ The insta love was strong with this one. In truth, the whole cliche damsel in distress getting saved by dominating and rich man that suddenly changes his ways is very overdone. But like I say in a lot of my reviews, with romance there are so many tropes that are overplayed. But there is still a way that authors can use that to their advantage and still come out with a good and gripping story! I found it very unconvincing that our male MC went from this;
to this;
→ Lastly, there was absolutely no chemistry. What there was plenty of though was WTF moments. Lines and directions that just made me jerk back because who thinks of this kinda thing? For example, there is a scene where Maxim is asleep and he unconsciously kisses Alessia. Her monologue shows that she wants it but also doesn't at the same time (there is a lot of foreshadowing to her having a bad history with men). Right after we get this;
then this;
well i mean, at least i'll have a new joke to tell my therapist this week. dnf @30% (i tried, i swear)
_______________
*cracks knuckles*
Let's start by taking you on the journey. From start to
When I first saw that Ms. James was launching a new standalone novel, my first thought like I assume all other people's thoughts were went to FSOG. That trilogy regardless of whether it was a disaster, a passer-by or a godsend in your life, was something of a global Category 5, DEFCON 1, 10th magnitude phenomena that took the world by storm.
Having read FSOG a long time back (just the first one. unfortunately, i couldn't troop for more.) I don't really remember my thoughts and whether I liked it or not didn't matter because looking back now, I don't really like what it stands for. Yet still, I respect all those lovers of the romance because for some, It actually regenerated / originated their love for the genre.
So, I thought what better way to gather my thoughts about this author then to read her upcoming standalone. By now, her writing would have improved right? her character development and her plot skills must have enhanced somehow? their should be some any sort of improvement?
i can't believe i put on my good crocs for this
Without even starting the book, I was cautious about the premise. A wealthy, manwhorey, newly appointed Earl starts getting the hots for his illegally immigrated with a language barrier, beautiful in pink granny panties (he actually had to point this out), apparently limited access to technology house cleaner. Before I even get into all the NO, ERIKA, NO!'s in that... let me give you a treat.
→ Chapter One.
First fucking line.
*ahem*
"Mindless sex—there’s a lot to be said for it. No commitments, no expectations, and no disappointments; I just have to remember their names. Who was it last time? Jojo? Jeanne? Jody? Whatever. She was some nameless fuck who moaned a great deal both in and out of bed."
→ We proceed to find out that his brother just died and he is currently fucking his brother's wife.
"She is and always will be my first love, my first fuck…my disastrous first fuck. And years later she’d chosen my brother, not me. But in spite of all that, we managed to remain good friends and keep our hands off each other—until Kit’s death."
→ He is now "Lord Trevethick." When it comes to names in books, I have no problem if the author has either random-word-generated or dictionary-swallowed names in their story. But that doesn't mean that once in a while I'll get a name that I love to absoulte bits. This name was the only selling point in this story, it brought me comedic relief. Everytime I read it, i giggled. Maxim be thicker than a snicker.
→ The writing was so poor. It felt very amateur and I shit you not, I felt like Gollum was speaking sometimes. Both of them had inner monologues (ofcourse, we like to keep the inner goddesses here in the ELJ headquarters) that were constantly repetitive and yappy. If Smeagle was the vibe ELJ was going for when writing her romance. Then yes 10/10 stars;
"She’s hot. And willing. Yes, very willing."
“It was a surprise finding him here asleep. Yes. That’s it. That’s all.”
→ The dialogue and the monologue was all very jarring and juxtaposed. It felt like I was in the front seat of a car that kept braking and going, getting whiplash from the damn seatbelt. The writing was juvenile because it wasn't descriptive at all. It was this then that and here's how it made me feel a lil'
“I want to know. No. I don’t want to know. I do. I don’t. I glance at the dashboard. Shit. I’m speeding. Slow the fuck down, mate. I ease my foot off the accelerator. Steady. I take a deep, cleansing breath. Calm down.”
→ I absolutely hate when there is no character development or dimensions, something that lets you get hooked to loving the story because you're rooting for the characters. But something I hate even more is when authors use diversity in their books and don't even get it right. There are so many reviews coming out that note specifics on how the portrayal of Albanians is very incorrect in this book.
→ The insta love was strong with this one. In truth, the whole cliche damsel in distress getting saved by dominating and rich man that suddenly changes his ways is very overdone. But like I say in a lot of my reviews, with romance there are so many tropes that are overplayed. But there is still a way that authors can use that to their advantage and still come out with a good and gripping story! I found it very unconvincing that our male MC went from this;
“I wasn’t sure. Modeling could be mind-numbingly boring, but after I was sent down from Oxford, the work had gotten me out of bed and given me an excuse to stay in shape. I also got to meet hot, skinny women.”
to this;
“I want her…. That’s the truth. I’ve never felt like this before. Everything has happened so fast. And I still don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. But I know I can’t abandon her to those lowlifes. I want to protect her.”
→ Lastly, there was absolutely no chemistry. What there was plenty of though was WTF moments. Lines and directions that just made me jerk back because who thinks of this kinda thing? For example, there is a scene where Maxim is asleep and he unconsciously kisses Alessia. Her monologue shows that she wants it but also doesn't at the same time (there is a lot of foreshadowing to her having a bad history with men). Right after we get this;
“ it’s not just me. Maybe she just doesn’t like men. This thought is even more upsetting, so I brush it aside.”
then this;
“All my plans, all my fantasies will be for nothing if she can’t bear to be with a man…any man. And I realize that I can’t touch her. Fuck.”
January 1, 2023
OMG! Universal Studios bought this amazing literature’s rights😂😂😂😂Another Razzie Awards winners are coming up!
One burning disappointing frustrating star!
Let’s check out the formula how you create an addictive romance which will attract the producers’ attention to gain money from total garbage: There is an ultra rich womanizer Alpha hero who f*cks everything he sees alive, a doormat, virgin, shy, introvert heroine acts like feral child and has no idea about luxuries of ordinary life( remember FSG’s Anastasia doesn’t even have an email address) and a freaking piano, too many nonsense action scenes and tadaaaa our best selling romance is ready for your service!
Anastasia turned into Alessia, thanks God I thought writer could have named hero as Trey but she named him Maxim! Another creative, innovative one!
And why on earth, somebody writes a novel toooo looooong! It’s not a Tolstoy novel! It’s just an erotic romance to make people enjoy their time when they’re reading it! But this you don’t enjoy! You just throw if like basketball to strengthen your biceps! (You’d better use it as exercise tool!)
For so long I was reading wonderful novels and I was feeling Polyanna because I was giving too many five or four sisters( not talking about 2019, this year all romance authors suffer from creativity crisis and most of the books are real mess! ) and I’m so angry of myself for wasting my time, burning my corneas and testing my patience by choosing to read this commercial thing!
My final message is for the billionaire author of this book:
It gives us impression that a sequel is coming! Please have pity on your loyal FSG readers and don’t pull the trigger! Write something else! Or find a real good ghost writer!
PS.You know who is my slapping contest book,right?
Here are the choices:
a) Author and douchebag hero
B) Author and scumbag hero
C) Author and miserable hero
D) Author and he is not hero
E) All of them
One burning disappointing frustrating star!
Let’s check out the formula how you create an addictive romance which will attract the producers’ attention to gain money from total garbage: There is an ultra rich womanizer Alpha hero who f*cks everything he sees alive, a doormat, virgin, shy, introvert heroine acts like feral child and has no idea about luxuries of ordinary life( remember FSG’s Anastasia doesn’t even have an email address) and a freaking piano, too many nonsense action scenes and tadaaaa our best selling romance is ready for your service!
Anastasia turned into Alessia, thanks God I thought writer could have named hero as Trey but she named him Maxim! Another creative, innovative one!
And why on earth, somebody writes a novel toooo looooong! It’s not a Tolstoy novel! It’s just an erotic romance to make people enjoy their time when they’re reading it! But this you don’t enjoy! You just throw if like basketball to strengthen your biceps! (You’d better use it as exercise tool!)
For so long I was reading wonderful novels and I was feeling Polyanna because I was giving too many five or four sisters( not talking about 2019, this year all romance authors suffer from creativity crisis and most of the books are real mess! ) and I’m so angry of myself for wasting my time, burning my corneas and testing my patience by choosing to read this commercial thing!
My final message is for the billionaire author of this book:
It gives us impression that a sequel is coming! Please have pity on your loyal FSG readers and don’t pull the trigger! Write something else! Or find a real good ghost writer!
PS.You know who is my slapping contest book,right?
Here are the choices:
a) Author and douchebag hero
B) Author and scumbag hero
C) Author and miserable hero
D) Author and he is not hero
E) All of them
August 2, 2020
I one-cliked, I tried, I failed.
I really wanted to give this book a chance. I really wanted to like it.
Nope.
Apparently, while I evolved as a reader, some things stayed just how I left them.
I am sorry to inform that this I-am-just-a-poor-innocent-blushing-serving-doormat-who-is not-worthy-of-You-a-rich-whoring-fucked-up-British-Adonis doesn’t work for me anymore in any shape or form.
I couldn’t stay another second in this poor little girl’s head, bless her heart. It got old after a few pages of her pitiful internal thoughts.
I really wanted to give this book a chance. I really wanted to like it.
Nope.
Apparently, while I evolved as a reader, some things stayed just how I left them.
I am sorry to inform that this I-am-just-a-poor-innocent-blushing-serving-doormat-who-is not-worthy-of-You-a-rich-whoring-fucked-up-British-Adonis doesn’t work for me anymore in any shape or form.
I couldn’t stay another second in this poor little girl’s head, bless her heart. It got old after a few pages of her pitiful internal thoughts.
May 14, 2019
*1 STAR*
A few words come to mind when I think about this book such as disappointing, inadequate, mediocre, and extremely displeasing.
Look, who are we kidding here? It’s time to admit the truth – 50 Shades Of Grey was E.L. James’s one hit wonder. It is what it is. There’s no shame in stating the obvious. We’re all adults here. She became a multimillionaire from it. Rumor has it, The Mister made over $900,000 on Amazon US alone after one day. I’m sure she doesn’t give a fuck.
I’m going to try to break this down into bullet points.
* The writing was all over the damn place. Nothing flowed.
* Told from dual POV’s but the female character, Alessia is written in third person.
Follow link for all the good stuff here.
It was TORTURE.
Remember to follow all things messy. . .
A few words come to mind when I think about this book such as disappointing, inadequate, mediocre, and extremely displeasing.
Look, who are we kidding here? It’s time to admit the truth – 50 Shades Of Grey was E.L. James’s one hit wonder. It is what it is. There’s no shame in stating the obvious. We’re all adults here. She became a multimillionaire from it. Rumor has it, The Mister made over $900,000 on Amazon US alone after one day. I’m sure she doesn’t give a fuck.
I’m going to try to break this down into bullet points.
* The writing was all over the damn place. Nothing flowed.
* Told from dual POV’s but the female character, Alessia is written in third person.
Follow link for all the good stuff here.
It was TORTURE.
Remember to follow all things messy. . .
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Shelved as 'dnf-lost-interest'
April 22, 2019I'm sorry guys. I tried... I just couldn't. :| DNF @ 37%
Shelved as 'on-hold'
April 18, 2019Well then... I think I'll stop there for now. I made it to the 20% mark and I'm not really enjoying it. The characters aren't calling to me and it's not pulling me in. Maybe I'll come back to it down the line, I have the audio, but for now, it's on hold.
Want to read
April 16, 2019LIVE! | AMZ US | AMZ UK |
LUV ARISTOCRATIC (ENTITLED) HEROES… [le sigh!]
Stand-alone.
LIVE! | AMZ US | AMZ UK |
Blurb:
London, 2019. Life has been easy for Maxim Trevelyan. With his good looks, aristocratic connections, and money, he’s never had to work and he’s rarely slept alone. But all that changes when tragedy strikes and Maxim inherits his family’s noble title, wealth, and estates, and all the responsibility that entails. It’s a role he’s not prepared for and one that he struggles to face.
But his biggest challenge is fighting his desire for an unexpected, enigmatic young woman who’s recently arrived in England, possessing little more than a dangerous and troublesome past. Reticent, beautiful, and musically gifted, she’s an alluring mystery, and Maxim’s longing for her deepens into a passion that he’s never experienced and dares not name. Just who is Alessia Demachi? Can Maxim protect her from the malevolence that threatens her? And what will she do when she learns that he’s been hiding secrets of his own?
LUV ARISTOCRATIC (ENTITLED) HEROES… [le sigh!]
Stand-alone.
LIVE! | AMZ US | AMZ UK |
Blurb:
London, 2019. Life has been easy for Maxim Trevelyan. With his good looks, aristocratic connections, and money, he’s never had to work and he’s rarely slept alone. But all that changes when tragedy strikes and Maxim inherits his family’s noble title, wealth, and estates, and all the responsibility that entails. It’s a role he’s not prepared for and one that he struggles to face.
But his biggest challenge is fighting his desire for an unexpected, enigmatic young woman who’s recently arrived in England, possessing little more than a dangerous and troublesome past. Reticent, beautiful, and musically gifted, she’s an alluring mystery, and Maxim’s longing for her deepens into a passion that he’s never experienced and dares not name. Just who is Alessia Demachi? Can Maxim protect her from the malevolence that threatens her? And what will she do when she learns that he’s been hiding secrets of his own?
Shelved as 'nuke-it-from-the-orbit'
March 27, 2019Rich white dude dominates, sublimates, and acts as the savior to an immigrant woman with limited English language skills.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nooooooope.
NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.
no. nah. nawp. never.
Want to read
January 26, 2019I CAN'T WAIT TO NOT READ THIS.
Shelved as 'lost-interest'
April 22, 2019Updated 04/22/2019
This is the best review I've read so far. Not on goodreads though.
https://www.theatlantic.com/entertain...
Original take
Obviously, I am never going to read this book, but based on this excerpt, I expect 1-star reviews will be comedy gold. I can't wait to see how this "Mister" dominates an immigrant whose English is not very good. Sounds so hot.
P.S. "F*ck a duck"?
https://www.goodreads.com/blog/show/1...
This is the best review I've read so far. Not on goodreads though.
https://www.theatlantic.com/entertain...
Original take
Obviously, I am never going to read this book, but based on this excerpt, I expect 1-star reviews will be comedy gold. I can't wait to see how this "Mister" dominates an immigrant whose English is not very good. Sounds so hot.
P.S. "F*ck a duck"?
https://www.goodreads.com/blog/show/1...
April 18, 2019
DNF after I read 1st chapter!
This is the first time in my life I DNFed a book and I'm also giving 1 star for this nonsense!
My time is precious, so I won't waste them for this book...
----------------------
Edit:
Oh my Gosh. I just read this awesome review and God have mercy on me!
I think I saved myself from big trouble.... :D
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
This is the first time in my life I DNFed a book and I'm also giving 1 star for this nonsense!
My time is precious, so I won't waste them for this book...
----------------------
Edit:
Oh my Gosh. I just read this awesome review and God have mercy on me!
I think I saved myself from big trouble.... :D
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Read
November 7, 2019couldn't even get thru it for the sake of a video which is how you know this a hot dumpster fire
and not even a fun 50 shades hot dumpster fire. i'd take beyblading a tampon out the puss puss over this rich guy banging his dead brother's wife ANY day of the week
and not even a fun 50 shades hot dumpster fire. i'd take beyblading a tampon out the puss puss over this rich guy banging his dead brother's wife ANY day of the week
Shelved as 'will-read-if-cheap-or-freebie'
January 25, 2019So British Fifty Shades of Grey then?
December 28, 2019
Well. Where do I start? 🤔 This might get a bit long and ranty. ☺
I was thinking about not writing anything about this. People have to make up their own minds about things anyway. And even though I shouldn't care, I'm just so disappointed about all those really bad and mean reviews I've seen on here. I can totally understand a bad-ish rating or no rating if it's not your kind of book or if some things about it bothered you. But most of those 1-star reviewers just read the book so that they could complain about it! Why read it then? You probably didn't love Fifty Shades either. You're probably jealous of Erika's success or you think she stole everything from those sparkly vampire books. Or just the opposite - you've only ever read Fifty and you love it so hard and you expected the exact same story in The Mister. But how is the book or the author to blame if the book wasn't at all what you were expecting??? Nobody said it was going to be the new Fifty or that it was a porn book or a thrilling thriller. Ugh. I could rant on forever about this!
Anyway. As I've said - people have to make up their own minds. Read the blurb and some good and bad reviews and decide if you want to read this book. It's not Fifty Shades. It's actually better in some ways. But of course it's not the exact same funny and erotic and dramatic and slightly immature love story that Ana and Christian gave us. Why should/would it be? Makes no sense.
But it is a love story! A Beautiful Cinderella-ish Love Story with some very heartbreaking and adorable and funny and sweet and erotic and interesting moments! AND I LOVED IT! Yup - there. I said it. I LOVED THE MISTER! I really did. It took me almost a week to read it. On purpose. I didn't want to rush it. I wanted to savour every single moment of this story. It's not every day that we get a book written by Erika! And I enjoyed it. Very much. But I can also see why some of the more mature (not old) reviewers say it didn't grab them or that it was too slow or uneventful. It might appear that way to some people. Maybe to fast-readers especially. That's why you should really take your time with this book. Get some wine or a mug of hot chocolate and some snacks. (I always get snacky while reading!) Cuddle up somewhere comfy and let Alessia, Maxim and Erika pull you away from life and into this beautiful world...
Ok - before I start with my real review - should I be proud or offended that one of the bad guys got my last name??? 🤔 Hm. Not sure.
OK - here goes. Hahaha - for a second here I was tempted to just write: I LOVED IT - 5 STARS - NUFF SAID - and leave it at that. But I just can't do it. I have to go into a bit more detail about what I loved and didn't love-love.
First of all here's my rating - just so you know that this is not going towards the one-star pile - it will probably sound like it a few times during my review, but it's definitely a five-star book for me!!
(I'll take this moment to advance-apologize to Erika for whatever I'm going to write next!)
Should we start with what I didn't like? To get it out of the way? ☺ I'm pretty sure my don't-like text will be so much longer than my love text, but that doesn't mean anything! ☺
OK ... remember when you first read Fifty Shades? And Fifty was not your very first book - you've read a lot of good and even erotic books before. And then you read Fifty and you loved it - so much. BUT. I had my problems with Fifty. With the writing most of all. It didn't feel like a real author wrote it. Ugh - please forgive me for saying this Erika! But the writing in the Fifty books was not amazing. And it wasn't supposed to be. Erika wasn't an author. She didn't go to college to become an author. It was a hobby. I never expected to get some super-literature-thing when I read Fifty. I still loved the story. Even though some parts of it I could've done without - like the inner goddess and the bdsm. LOL!
But back to the writing in Fifty. It was totally okay and readable, but some little things bothered me. Like the fact that an English person wrote an 'American' book. That's a thing I always complain about - no idea why it bothers me so much, but it does. In Fifty you notice in almost every line or on every page, that the author is not American. Which is one of the best things about THE MISTER! It's an English author writing and English story. YAY! Finally! I still don't like the Britishness in some situations - like those situation where I just don't know what she's talking about!
What I hated in Fifty and what I still didn't love in The Mister, was the overuse of the word EXQUISITE! There must be another word that can be exchanged for that!?!? Please.
The positive thing about remembering that the writing in Fifty was a not-so-good, is the fact that the writing in The Mister is SO MUCH BETTER!!!! So much. Maybe it's still about the British-Author-British-Story thing, but I really think Erika got so much better! YAY!
Another thing I didn't like about The Mister ... and I'm not the only one. Almost every review I've seen mentions that they hate that. The POVs. The book is told in Maxim's first person POV. Perfect. I love that. But then we get Alessia's POV and she gets another POV thingy. Why? I heard other authors saying that they can't get into the minds of their male characters and that's why they do it in their books, but with this book it is the male character who we get the first person POV from. Maybe Erika couldn't get into the mind of Alessia? Or she just wanted the two to sound differently. Who knows. I didn't love it, but I got used to it while reading. But I know that many many readers will really hate that.
Next thing I didn't love. The book is pretty long. Which I love, but you get the feeling that it's blubbering along and nothing much exciting is happening and then we get a bit more action towards the end and that's it. I loved the blubbering. Every single scene that happened to our two darlings was beautiful to me, but I can understand why people will say that the story wasn't really happening for them. That there was no story. And that's a bit sad. Maybe something could've been added here and there to make it more interesting for some readers, but pfff - who cares. I loved it.
Another little thing. Some readers might run away in the beginning because Maxim comes across as a bit of a slut. He has a new girl in his bed every night. And it could've mayyybe be done a bit differently - maybe just mention it in some way, instead of showing us all the sexy moments with NOT the heroine!
Now I will write a bit about the end - I will put it into a spoiler thingy - so please don't read it if you haven't read the book. Or maybe - if you're too scared to read the book because you fear it's going to Cliffhanger you - you're allowed to read the spoiler thingy too:
I think that's all the 'bad' stuff I had in my head...
What did I love about The Mister?
Pretty much everything. ☺
Let's start with the cover!
Isn't it pretty?!?! Erika made that herself! Perfect picture and perfect colors. I love it. And the title. It sounds weird at first, but when we get to know Maxim and Alessia and we 'hear' Alessia say that word - it is beyond adorable!! I can't wait to hear her say it in the movie!
Then we have our darling's stories. Maxim, the rich boy who used to be happy living his carefree playboy life. But he's not really that guy anymore since his brother died. He needs to grow up now. And Alessia comes along at the exact right moment.
Alessia. The super-talented girl from Albania who left her scary life with the hope of a future full of exciting and happy things. But of course it didn't happen that way. But now that second chance is possible with the Mister ...
It's so adorable to see them get to know each other and fall for each other. I loved watching them fight for their happy end. And it's not an easy journey for our two darlings. But they still give us a lot of fun and adorable and erotic moments to swoon over! I loved how he watches her play the piano. I loved how they smile and beam at each other, when they haven't had much to smile about for a long while. I loved how she takes his hand when they walk through town. I loved every little thing about their love story.
And even though I said that there's not much happening in this story, that's really not true. Yes, we don't have people shooting at us every other chapter, or some ex bit*h showing up to drive us apart or a parent or sibling trying to buy someone off. But there's still so much happening and if you let yourself - you will fall in love with that story too.
Then we have the typical Erika music moments. There's a lot of music in this book. Classical and modern - and I don't like one piece of it. LOL! But I don't have to like the songs. I still love that there's music in this book. So much music and food and drinks and cars and places and history and language and real-world problems like human trafficking and death and family expectations ... et cetera.
I was just wondering about something ... how will those Albanian lines in this book be translated into the Albanian version of the book??? There are so many Albanian words and lines in this book! The same thing I wondered when I read Ana Karenina - there was so much German in there! How do they do it??? 🤔
Ugh, I feel like I've written a whole book of my own ... why did I write so much? I probably didn't even make any sense!
The only thing I really wanted to say was ... I LOVED THIS BOOK! AND I REALLY HOPE WE'LL GET MORE FROM ALESSIA & MAXIM!
♡
♡
♡
♡
April 18, 2019
DNF
So, I have read about 25% of the book and I have to say that I have absolutely no problem with the love story. It is a typical Cinderella story with a poor naive girl who cleans houses and her rich handsome boss who is kind of a royalty and he is also a irresponsible manslut but he changes his ways as soon as he meets her.
BUT I have seriously difficulties and objections with the way the Albanians are portrayed in this book. There are many Albanians in Greece. We are both Balkans after all and I know many business women and men here. I also have scientist friends who happen to come from Albania. All of them speak excellent english. I don't understand why this poor girl speaks poor english and she is not accustomed to a computer and internet or why she has no mobile. This is the first thing you get when you have a job!
Maybe this could happen 30 years ago when Albania was in unstable economical situation which led to the Albanian diaspora and most people who fled the country had to become workers and house cleaners to survive. But now this does not make sense.
And then suddenly some stupid thugs (presumably Albanians) appear in the story who are too stupid to be true.
I skimmed a few chapters and the whole description of this nation gets worse and worse.
No sex before marriage?
Not nice shops?
This is actually insulting...
I don't know if I can continue reading this book.
Sorry...
2 stars for the cuteness of the love story and the wonderful book cover.
-----------------------
-----------------------
Excerpt:
Alessia opens the door but freezes on the threshold of the room.
He’s here.
The Mister!
Fast asleep facedown and sprawled naked across the large bed. She stands, shocked and fascinated at once, her feet rooted to the wooden floor as she stares. He’s stretched across the length of the bed, tangled in his duvet but naked . . . very naked. His face is turned toward her but covered by unkempt brown hair. One arm is beneath the pillow that supports his head, the other extended toward her. He has broad, defined shoulders, and on his biceps is an elaborate tattoo that is partially hidden by the bedding. His back is sun-kissed with a tan that fades as his hips narrow to dimples and to a pale, taut backside.
His long, muscular legs disappear beneath a knot of gray duvet and silver silk bedspread, though his foot sticks out over the edge of the mattress. He stirs, the muscles in his back rippling, and his eyelids flicker open to reveal unfocused but brilliant green eyes. Alessia stops breathing, convinced he’ll be angry that she’s woken him. Their eyes meet, but he shifts and turns his face away. He settles down and goes back to sleep.
So, I have read about 25% of the book and I have to say that I have absolutely no problem with the love story. It is a typical Cinderella story with a poor naive girl who cleans houses and her rich handsome boss who is kind of a royalty and he is also a irresponsible manslut but he changes his ways as soon as he meets her.
BUT I have seriously difficulties and objections with the way the Albanians are portrayed in this book. There are many Albanians in Greece. We are both Balkans after all and I know many business women and men here. I also have scientist friends who happen to come from Albania. All of them speak excellent english. I don't understand why this poor girl speaks poor english and she is not accustomed to a computer and internet or why she has no mobile. This is the first thing you get when you have a job!
Maybe this could happen 30 years ago when Albania was in unstable economical situation which led to the Albanian diaspora and most people who fled the country had to become workers and house cleaners to survive. But now this does not make sense.
And then suddenly some stupid thugs (presumably Albanians) appear in the story who are too stupid to be true.
I skimmed a few chapters and the whole description of this nation gets worse and worse.
No sex before marriage?
Not nice shops?
This is actually insulting...
I don't know if I can continue reading this book.
Sorry...
2 stars for the cuteness of the love story and the wonderful book cover.
-----------------------
-----------------------
Excerpt:
Alessia opens the door but freezes on the threshold of the room.
He’s here.
The Mister!
Fast asleep facedown and sprawled naked across the large bed. She stands, shocked and fascinated at once, her feet rooted to the wooden floor as she stares. He’s stretched across the length of the bed, tangled in his duvet but naked . . . very naked. His face is turned toward her but covered by unkempt brown hair. One arm is beneath the pillow that supports his head, the other extended toward her. He has broad, defined shoulders, and on his biceps is an elaborate tattoo that is partially hidden by the bedding. His back is sun-kissed with a tan that fades as his hips narrow to dimples and to a pale, taut backside.
His long, muscular legs disappear beneath a knot of gray duvet and silver silk bedspread, though his foot sticks out over the edge of the mattress. He stirs, the muscles in his back rippling, and his eyelids flicker open to reveal unfocused but brilliant green eyes. Alessia stops breathing, convinced he’ll be angry that she’s woken him. Their eyes meet, but he shifts and turns his face away. He settles down and goes back to sleep.
April 17, 2019
3 "F*ck a Duck" Stars
Okay, so this was no 50 Shades that's for sure. I mean it's on the other end of the spectrum! I can see why many readers were disappointed, this story was nothing like what I expected. In saying that I didn't hate it nor did I love it, it was just okay. A very slow, sweet love story.
I feel like I was literally dragged through the first 50%..................
I mean, to say the pace is slow would be a HUGE understatement but it did pick up in the last 50% and I did enjoy the last half more.
I didn't find Maxim to be an alpha at all! He lacked the powerful, conceited and dominant personality we get from most alphas. The only power Maxim has is his social status and money. He reminded me of a lost man that was not sure what he was going to do with his life, not an alpha who had all his shit under control.
It's hard for Maxim living in the shadow of his older brother, he knows he is the definition of a spoilt child and has acted the part well. Now after his brothers sudden death Maxim is the 'heir' and takes on the title of Lord and the responsibilities that come with it he has to change his ways.
I found Alessia's story the most interesting part of this book. A virgin trying to escape an arranged marriage to a violent man only to be sold to human traffickers! Far fetched? Just a little but still the only thing this book has going for it. Alessia and Maxim were super cute and sweet together and I liked how they had a connection through music.
The last 50% even had a little suspense chucked in to try a liven things up but seriously this is no epic love story. Again it was just okay.
Okay, so this was no 50 Shades that's for sure. I mean it's on the other end of the spectrum! I can see why many readers were disappointed, this story was nothing like what I expected. In saying that I didn't hate it nor did I love it, it was just okay. A very slow, sweet love story.
I feel like I was literally dragged through the first 50%..................
I mean, to say the pace is slow would be a HUGE understatement but it did pick up in the last 50% and I did enjoy the last half more.
I didn't find Maxim to be an alpha at all! He lacked the powerful, conceited and dominant personality we get from most alphas. The only power Maxim has is his social status and money. He reminded me of a lost man that was not sure what he was going to do with his life, not an alpha who had all his shit under control.
It's hard for Maxim living in the shadow of his older brother, he knows he is the definition of a spoilt child and has acted the part well. Now after his brothers sudden death Maxim is the 'heir' and takes on the title of Lord and the responsibilities that come with it he has to change his ways.
I found Alessia's story the most interesting part of this book. A virgin trying to escape an arranged marriage to a violent man only to be sold to human traffickers! Far fetched? Just a little but still the only thing this book has going for it. Alessia and Maxim were super cute and sweet together and I liked how they had a connection through music.
The last 50% even had a little suspense chucked in to try a liven things up but seriously this is no epic love story. Again it was just okay.
January 25, 2019
Burn it tbh
March 11, 2020
This should never have been published. Does the "author" even have an original idea?
DNF @15%.
December 27, 2019
The H is a very rich guy. His days are spent recovering from the night before and planning the next night’s entertainment. He got access to a healthy trust fund since he turned 21. He has never done a serious day’s work in his life.
Deep down he knows he is useless.
The heroine is the new cleaner at his house. When she cleans his room, she sees the used condoms in the wastebasket and wonders how one man can use so many condoms.
But she likes this job as she gets to play his piano secretly.
So when both of them sees each other for the first time they are curious and oddly attracted to each other.
His wastebasket condoms suddenly becomes zero. Because he wants her.
She is running from her past and when it catches her, the H is their to help her. And in the process they both fall in love.
Seriously, after writing The Fifty shades, which was big hit (not for me), this author writes this crap?
‘A manwhore useless rich guy falls in love with his maid.’
I have read this storyline a hundreds of time. There was nothing intriguing or exciting about this.
January 5, 2021
Pre-read: So remember that time a long while ago when I said that if E.L. James wrote a novel that wasn't "Fifty Shades of Grey" related, I would read it?
Something tells me I'm going to regret this, but you know what? Let's go.
After reading: I think I'm stuck in my reaction between cringing and laughing. Believe the critique - this was just an all around bad experience - bad writing (including bad sex scenes, yikes), bad pacing with characters that had little to no development, excessive violence against women that went completely overlooked most of the time, racist/xenophobic commentary passing off as humor, ...I could go on for a while. I guess I can cross off my bucket list that I read an E.L. James novel, but I don't see myself picking up anything else from her at all from this experience.
Full review:
One of these days, we're going to talk about how this book broke my brain so badly that I had reviewer's block in spurts over the course of a two year time frame when talking about other books I've read.
...I guess that time is now (2021, two years after this book was first read).
You know, I realize that reading is an individual experience and people like what they like. I get that fully, I can respect that at least in consideration to certain things. I can also see that there are people who like things that are problematic. I like certain things, stories, aspects that are problematic too, but I fully acknowledge that they are problematic, why, and give my reasons for where I may like something in a way that I hope people will understand where I'm coming from as to where I can have an appreciation of the thing. Where it may do something well, where it has value to something I've experienced or shared, something to that degree.
But for the love of all that's holy, why is this...THIS? Why is this a thing? Why is "The Mister" considered a popular, sexy book? I just don't understand. I can't even. This is a NO. This is a "NO, thank you, put that thing back where it came from" situation.
You might think I'm being unfair, excessive, extra, or any number of hyperbolic descriptions, but I can assure you that I'm not a stranger to erotica, or erotic romance, or new adult, or fanfiction or any of those things. I understand that I have rocky relationships with specific aspects of all the aforementioned, and I can acknowledge my biases, respectfully stated. My hope is that you don't come out of this review thinking I'm dunking on this just to dunk on it. (Though, that was tempting.) I did go into it thinking it may not be my thing, but at least I was willing to try, doggone it. But this was BAD. This was TERRIBLE. I know E.L. James wrote the Fifty Shades Trilogy and I at least know of the issues that surrounded that story in detail, but that in no way prepared me for the kind of experience I had with this book.
*exhales slowly* Let's just start at the beginning.
You have a "hero", Maxim Trevelyan - the Mister - who suddenly inherits a noble title at the death of his brother, Kit. He has a complicated relationship with his brother's widow, Caroline, as well. (Yeah, I'm not going there, I threw up in my mouth a bit at that revelation. No spoilers needed. The hero calling himself an "asshole" for that doesn't absolve how bad it was.) Maxim is about the most arrogant SOB that you could ever come across, engaging in long passages about him doing regular tasks like working out, or saying phrases like "fuck a duck" when he's frustrated or in the midst of sexy times, take your pick of which at a given time. It's the equivalent of navel-gazing posturing with a sexual leaning and it got old really quick. He's written in first person POV (of course).
Then you have the heroine, Alessia, who is the daily, or servant. She is from Albania, which is portrayed like some otherworldly retro country in which James feels the need to take factoids from Wikipedia in order to educate YOU - dear reader - through the characters, what Albania is supposed to be like. (Exernal Narrator: The woman called Rose stops herself short of saying "Lordy, this is racist." Even though it is undeniably such.) She's written in third-person limited POV.
Alessia's situation is at least, to some degree, something I had sympathy for. Coming out of an abusive relationship is one thing, struggling to make a living while hoping to avoid being shipped back to that abusive relationship against your will is also a thing. We'll circle back to that in a bit.
The way these two meet is...something, as Alessia is the new maid (daily) that Maxim didn't know he had. If Maxim says this about his former maid leaving and Alessia coming in: “Well, I was a little surprised that she upped and left without so much as a good-bye and Miss Albania took her place. No one told me.” - there's a problem. Several problems in fact.
Some of the conflict in this overarching story is Alessia thinking that Maxim is with someone and that she's not good enough for him, and the other part is Maxim thinking that Alessia thinks he's with someone and that he's totally bad for her. (External narrator: And the woman called Rose thinks it would be good for them to talk to each other and shave 100 pages from this conflict.) The minor characters have bit parts to play, but they're never developed beyond giving something for Maxim and Alessia to pull on in terms of rolling commentary, conflict, or background noise. Even with the interactions between the two trying to get to know each other, it's a laundry list of things and the interactions feel too rigid.
Somehow the people who are looking for Alessia find her and Maxim - "I'm so freaking tough, I'm Metal Batman" - jumps in to save the day more than a few times. The issue of human trafficking is treated as an afterthought, more of a matter of drawing attention to that Maxim is in the presence of a woman who has never slept with a man. Meaning Maxim spends pages mulling over her virginity in a fetish-type way. (Oy.) And there is period sex in here, also like Fifty Shades. *sighs*
We jump into elongated sex scenes that have no true chemistry between the leads, and somehow Blackstreet's "No Diggity" makes an appearance as one of (several) pop culture references in here that just don't work. I guess knowing what I know also about Fifty Shades, there was a focus on classical music to be had in there. I didn't mind the classical references on the surface since it seemed that Alessia played pieces, but when you're going on for pages and pages with no plot movement, it felt excessive for focus. I also mentioned in my rolling commentary that there was more dramatic tension between Alessia finding out that Maxim was an Earl than her being nearly captured by her human trafficking pursuers. That didn't make sense given the gravity of what would later transpire when Alessia has to encounter with her fiancé and family.
James saved the last quarter of the book to throw everything and the kitchen sink for conflict into the fire. To name a few - Caroline, Kit's widower, coming back into the conflict just to hate on Alessia with saying that Alessia is the "cleaner" and "freeloader" and creating conflict in those measures, considering Maxim's "relationship" with Caroline. Also Alessia (and I say this seriously - poor girl) getting brutally beaten on for the sake of conflict, horrible family treatment, and Maxim coming in to rescue her. (External narrator: And the woman called Rose stops herself short of saying this is reductive sexism...though it absolutely is.)
I wish I cared enough to go through, line by line, every single non-conflict and conflict this book had to offer. 500+ pages was too much for this book, whether in physical or digital form. I can't say that I didn't laugh at this book in moments, but mainly it was for all the wrong reasons - for disbelief, for repetition, for using racial and sexual stereotypes so carelessly and callously - and for turning the final page on one of the worst books I've picked up in the last few years. I had so much to say about it when I sat down to write this review back in 2019, that it ended up overwhelming me to where I just couldn't say anything at all.
So it's probably fitting for me to end this review with not much to say other than I will leave it behind, and I will not pick up another E.L. James novel ever again. Not for science, nor curiosity, and most definitely not for a romantic or sexy read. There are so many other - and better - books for that experience. I think there are many others who hit the point on the nose at the number of problems in this book, I'm just one of several.
Overall score: No stars. Just none.
Something tells me I'm going to regret this, but you know what? Let's go.
After reading: I think I'm stuck in my reaction between cringing and laughing. Believe the critique - this was just an all around bad experience - bad writing (including bad sex scenes, yikes), bad pacing with characters that had little to no development, excessive violence against women that went completely overlooked most of the time, racist/xenophobic commentary passing off as humor, ...I could go on for a while. I guess I can cross off my bucket list that I read an E.L. James novel, but I don't see myself picking up anything else from her at all from this experience.
Full review:
One of these days, we're going to talk about how this book broke my brain so badly that I had reviewer's block in spurts over the course of a two year time frame when talking about other books I've read.
...I guess that time is now (2021, two years after this book was first read).
You know, I realize that reading is an individual experience and people like what they like. I get that fully, I can respect that at least in consideration to certain things. I can also see that there are people who like things that are problematic. I like certain things, stories, aspects that are problematic too, but I fully acknowledge that they are problematic, why, and give my reasons for where I may like something in a way that I hope people will understand where I'm coming from as to where I can have an appreciation of the thing. Where it may do something well, where it has value to something I've experienced or shared, something to that degree.
But for the love of all that's holy, why is this...THIS? Why is this a thing? Why is "The Mister" considered a popular, sexy book? I just don't understand. I can't even. This is a NO. This is a "NO, thank you, put that thing back where it came from" situation.
You might think I'm being unfair, excessive, extra, or any number of hyperbolic descriptions, but I can assure you that I'm not a stranger to erotica, or erotic romance, or new adult, or fanfiction or any of those things. I understand that I have rocky relationships with specific aspects of all the aforementioned, and I can acknowledge my biases, respectfully stated. My hope is that you don't come out of this review thinking I'm dunking on this just to dunk on it. (Though, that was tempting.) I did go into it thinking it may not be my thing, but at least I was willing to try, doggone it. But this was BAD. This was TERRIBLE. I know E.L. James wrote the Fifty Shades Trilogy and I at least know of the issues that surrounded that story in detail, but that in no way prepared me for the kind of experience I had with this book.
*exhales slowly* Let's just start at the beginning.
You have a "hero", Maxim Trevelyan - the Mister - who suddenly inherits a noble title at the death of his brother, Kit. He has a complicated relationship with his brother's widow, Caroline, as well. (Yeah, I'm not going there, I threw up in my mouth a bit at that revelation. No spoilers needed. The hero calling himself an "asshole" for that doesn't absolve how bad it was.) Maxim is about the most arrogant SOB that you could ever come across, engaging in long passages about him doing regular tasks like working out, or saying phrases like "fuck a duck" when he's frustrated or in the midst of sexy times, take your pick of which at a given time. It's the equivalent of navel-gazing posturing with a sexual leaning and it got old really quick. He's written in first person POV (of course).
Then you have the heroine, Alessia, who is the daily, or servant. She is from Albania, which is portrayed like some otherworldly retro country in which James feels the need to take factoids from Wikipedia in order to educate YOU - dear reader - through the characters, what Albania is supposed to be like. (Exernal Narrator: The woman called Rose stops herself short of saying "Lordy, this is racist." Even though it is undeniably such.) She's written in third-person limited POV.
Alessia's situation is at least, to some degree, something I had sympathy for. Coming out of an abusive relationship is one thing, struggling to make a living while hoping to avoid being shipped back to that abusive relationship against your will is also a thing. We'll circle back to that in a bit.
The way these two meet is...something, as Alessia is the new maid (daily) that Maxim didn't know he had. If Maxim says this about his former maid leaving and Alessia coming in: “Well, I was a little surprised that she upped and left without so much as a good-bye and Miss Albania took her place. No one told me.” - there's a problem. Several problems in fact.
Some of the conflict in this overarching story is Alessia thinking that Maxim is with someone and that she's not good enough for him, and the other part is Maxim thinking that Alessia thinks he's with someone and that he's totally bad for her. (External narrator: And the woman called Rose thinks it would be good for them to talk to each other and shave 100 pages from this conflict.) The minor characters have bit parts to play, but they're never developed beyond giving something for Maxim and Alessia to pull on in terms of rolling commentary, conflict, or background noise. Even with the interactions between the two trying to get to know each other, it's a laundry list of things and the interactions feel too rigid.
Somehow the people who are looking for Alessia find her and Maxim - "I'm so freaking tough, I'm Metal Batman" - jumps in to save the day more than a few times. The issue of human trafficking is treated as an afterthought, more of a matter of drawing attention to that Maxim is in the presence of a woman who has never slept with a man. Meaning Maxim spends pages mulling over her virginity in a fetish-type way. (Oy.) And there is period sex in here, also like Fifty Shades. *sighs*
We jump into elongated sex scenes that have no true chemistry between the leads, and somehow Blackstreet's "No Diggity" makes an appearance as one of (several) pop culture references in here that just don't work. I guess knowing what I know also about Fifty Shades, there was a focus on classical music to be had in there. I didn't mind the classical references on the surface since it seemed that Alessia played pieces, but when you're going on for pages and pages with no plot movement, it felt excessive for focus. I also mentioned in my rolling commentary that there was more dramatic tension between Alessia finding out that Maxim was an Earl than her being nearly captured by her human trafficking pursuers. That didn't make sense given the gravity of what would later transpire when Alessia has to encounter with her fiancé and family.
James saved the last quarter of the book to throw everything and the kitchen sink for conflict into the fire. To name a few - Caroline, Kit's widower, coming back into the conflict just to hate on Alessia with saying that Alessia is the "cleaner" and "freeloader" and creating conflict in those measures, considering Maxim's "relationship" with Caroline. Also Alessia (and I say this seriously - poor girl) getting brutally beaten on for the sake of conflict, horrible family treatment, and Maxim coming in to rescue her. (External narrator: And the woman called Rose stops herself short of saying this is reductive sexism...though it absolutely is.)
I wish I cared enough to go through, line by line, every single non-conflict and conflict this book had to offer. 500+ pages was too much for this book, whether in physical or digital form. I can't say that I didn't laugh at this book in moments, but mainly it was for all the wrong reasons - for disbelief, for repetition, for using racial and sexual stereotypes so carelessly and callously - and for turning the final page on one of the worst books I've picked up in the last few years. I had so much to say about it when I sat down to write this review back in 2019, that it ended up overwhelming me to where I just couldn't say anything at all.
So it's probably fitting for me to end this review with not much to say other than I will leave it behind, and I will not pick up another E.L. James novel ever again. Not for science, nor curiosity, and most definitely not for a romantic or sexy read. There are so many other - and better - books for that experience. I think there are many others who hit the point on the nose at the number of problems in this book, I'm just one of several.
Overall score: No stars. Just none.
April 19, 2019
ETA: Turns out it's yet another rip-off. Only Poldark this time: http://jennytrout.com/?p=12561
Kinda rant thing happening here after learning some disturbing info from Twitter. Thanks Moony! Not something I normally do but... special circumstances and whatnot are deserving imo.
I've been around for some questionable publishing choices by small publishers-I'm looking at you Riptide-but I'm having a difficult time envisioning how the world Penguin/Random House had no qualms about publishing a book wherein the heroine was a victim of sex trafficking.
Not one beta reader?
Not one editor?
No one thought this was not only a bad call but simply insensitive? Was there a sensitivity reader at all?
Sloppy and irresponsible publishing is sloppy and irresponsible.
From interview of the author:
This book tackles sex trafficking as a prominent theme/issue. Can you tell me more about your research there and why you decided to make your heroine a victim of this?
I did do some quite heavy research, and there was a point where I thought, “Should I be writing this book?” Because it is so bleak. But I just thought, “I’ll get her away from it.” She is so stoic and brave, and she works hard to keep herself safe, so that’s what I wanted to come across within the book. And it sheds a little light on this appalling state that many young women find themselves in, especially from eastern Europe. I hope that’s a good thing.
By having her under the thumb of a rich, misogynistic womanizer who only wants to fuck her after having been taken from her home and fresh from an abusive relationship?
Maybe I am making a mountain out of molehill here but sex trafficking is a credible global atrocity and not something to be blithely thrown into a narrative particularly when the aftermath is going to be treated so dismissively.
Or in more articulate words from Guardian journalist, Sian Cain:
But that a book like The Mister will still end up on the bestseller chart next week begets so many questions. Just how underserved are the women who enjoy culture like this, if this is the best we can do? Is this real life? Is it just fantasy? I’m unsure which bothers me more.
Kinda rant thing happening here after learning some disturbing info from Twitter. Thanks Moony! Not something I normally do but... special circumstances and whatnot are deserving imo.
I've been around for some questionable publishing choices by small publishers-I'm looking at you Riptide-but I'm having a difficult time envisioning how the world Penguin/Random House had no qualms about publishing a book wherein the heroine was a victim of sex trafficking.
Not one beta reader?
Not one editor?
No one thought this was not only a bad call but simply insensitive? Was there a sensitivity reader at all?
Sloppy and irresponsible publishing is sloppy and irresponsible.
From interview of the author:
This book tackles sex trafficking as a prominent theme/issue. Can you tell me more about your research there and why you decided to make your heroine a victim of this?
I did do some quite heavy research, and there was a point where I thought, “Should I be writing this book?” Because it is so bleak. But I just thought, “I’ll get her away from it.” She is so stoic and brave, and she works hard to keep herself safe, so that’s what I wanted to come across within the book. And it sheds a little light on this appalling state that many young women find themselves in, especially from eastern Europe. I hope that’s a good thing.
By having her under the thumb of a rich, misogynistic womanizer who only wants to fuck her after having been taken from her home and fresh from an abusive relationship?
Maybe I am making a mountain out of molehill here but sex trafficking is a credible global atrocity and not something to be blithely thrown into a narrative particularly when the aftermath is going to be treated so dismissively.
Or in more articulate words from Guardian journalist, Sian Cain:
But that a book like The Mister will still end up on the bestseller chart next week begets so many questions. Just how underserved are the women who enjoy culture like this, if this is the best we can do? Is this real life? Is it just fantasy? I’m unsure which bothers me more.
June 10, 2019
[2.5]
Uf, pues vamos a ver... The Mister fue un libro que leí entre carcajadas y mucho cringe.
Aquí nos encontramos con Maxim Trevelyan, un playboy que acaba de perder a su hermano en un accidente y, por ende, también ha heredado su título nobiliario y, además, se está acostando con quien era la esposa de dicho hermano. Maravillosas decisiones de vida, vamos. Pero todo va a cambiar en la vida de Maxim cuando vea que cambiaron a la mujer que le ayudaba a limpiar su casa: ya no es la vieja confiable de siempre, sino Alessia, una joven albanesa guapísima y con secretos que la acechan día y noche. ¡Y adivinen quién se obsesiona con su nueva chica de la limpieza! Sí, Maxim. ¡Y adivinen qué chica de la limpieza no puede dejar de pensar en su jefe sexy! Sí, Alessia. Y así es como empieza una historia en la que les cuesta un montón aceptar lo que sienten, presas del miedo por el estatus social y por quienes están detrás de Alessia.
Honestamente no sé con certeza qué esperaba de este libro, pero definitivamente no es Cincuenta Sombras de Grey en ninguno de sus aspectos, así que las lectoras de E. L. James que estén esperando algo igual de picante se van a decepcionar un montón. Aquí se van a encontrar con un hombre que intenta ser súper correcto, pero sentimientos que no se creía capaz de tener afloran en él hasta crear una obsesión tremenda por Alessia. Y, por otra parte, van a encontrarse con una chica tremendamente tímida, con muchos complejos y muchísimo miedo dentro de ella, pues fue ha sido víctima no solo de las tradiciones arcaicas de su país, sino de la trata de blancas.
Creo que nunca terminé de creerme la relación que se va formando entre ellos dos, sencillamente no sentí el click y creo, creeeeo, que se debe al absoluto instalove. Y es que hay amores instantáneos que se vuelven tan intensos y preciosos que me terminan encantando, pero este no lo fue. A pesar de todo lo que ha vivido, y eso la justifica, nunca me gustó la personalidad de Alessia. No me la soportaba, de verdad que leerla era un suplicio. Maxim me gustó un poco más que ella, pero aún así tampoco puedo decir que ya me muero por él, que qué guapo es, que ojalá hagan película con un actor súper sexy... nah.
Y en cuanto al cringe... Ay, es que de verdad parece que E. L. James no puede dejar de meter frases raras, icónicas y repetitivas. ¿Recuerdan que en Fifty la cosa iba algo así como por lengua viperina, lo del labio y la diosa interior bailando? Bueno, pues aquí repiten un montón algo como "music for my cock". I MEAAAAAAAAN... ¿"Música para mi pene"? ¿EN SERIO?
En fin, rescato que el libro se lee muy rápido y que, dentro de todo, no se hace aburrido. Un poco absurdo, sí, pero aburrido no.
Uf, pues vamos a ver... The Mister fue un libro que leí entre carcajadas y mucho cringe.
Aquí nos encontramos con Maxim Trevelyan, un playboy que acaba de perder a su hermano en un accidente y, por ende, también ha heredado su título nobiliario y, además, se está acostando con quien era la esposa de dicho hermano. Maravillosas decisiones de vida, vamos. Pero todo va a cambiar en la vida de Maxim cuando vea que cambiaron a la mujer que le ayudaba a limpiar su casa: ya no es la vieja confiable de siempre, sino Alessia, una joven albanesa guapísima y con secretos que la acechan día y noche. ¡Y adivinen quién se obsesiona con su nueva chica de la limpieza! Sí, Maxim. ¡Y adivinen qué chica de la limpieza no puede dejar de pensar en su jefe sexy! Sí, Alessia. Y así es como empieza una historia en la que les cuesta un montón aceptar lo que sienten, presas del miedo por el estatus social y por quienes están detrás de Alessia.
Honestamente no sé con certeza qué esperaba de este libro, pero definitivamente no es Cincuenta Sombras de Grey en ninguno de sus aspectos, así que las lectoras de E. L. James que estén esperando algo igual de picante se van a decepcionar un montón. Aquí se van a encontrar con un hombre que intenta ser súper correcto, pero sentimientos que no se creía capaz de tener afloran en él hasta crear una obsesión tremenda por Alessia. Y, por otra parte, van a encontrarse con una chica tremendamente tímida, con muchos complejos y muchísimo miedo dentro de ella, pues fue ha sido víctima no solo de las tradiciones arcaicas de su país, sino de la trata de blancas.
Creo que nunca terminé de creerme la relación que se va formando entre ellos dos, sencillamente no sentí el click y creo, creeeeo, que se debe al absoluto instalove. Y es que hay amores instantáneos que se vuelven tan intensos y preciosos que me terminan encantando, pero este no lo fue. A pesar de todo lo que ha vivido, y eso la justifica, nunca me gustó la personalidad de Alessia. No me la soportaba, de verdad que leerla era un suplicio. Maxim me gustó un poco más que ella, pero aún así tampoco puedo decir que ya me muero por él, que qué guapo es, que ojalá hagan película con un actor súper sexy... nah.
Y en cuanto al cringe... Ay, es que de verdad parece que E. L. James no puede dejar de meter frases raras, icónicas y repetitivas. ¿Recuerdan que en Fifty la cosa iba algo así como por lengua viperina, lo del labio y la diosa interior bailando? Bueno, pues aquí repiten un montón algo como "music for my cock". I MEAAAAAAAAN... ¿"Música para mi pene"? ¿EN SERIO?
En fin, rescato que el libro se lee muy rápido y que, dentro de todo, no se hace aburrido. Un poco absurdo, sí, pero aburrido no.
April 15, 2019
She’s still got it. EL James grabs you by the throat and heart with equal expertise. This refreshing, gorgeous book will captivate you. Highly recommended. Maxim is dreamy and layered. Alessia is fantastic. Ride the roller coaster of The Mister. Drink wine too. Book provided to me by the author because she is kind and puts up with my weirdness.
Read
April 17, 2019Second verse same as the first but a little bit louder and a whole lot worse!
Everybody sing . . . . .
Everybody sing . . . . .
August 23, 2019
I...... am as shocked as you are, friends 👀
tw: death of loved ones (in the past), sexual themes, alcohol, human/sex trafficking, illegal immigration, abusive parents, domestic abuse, arranged marriage, guns, kidnapping, claustrophobia (locked in a trunk/boot), attempted rape.
Okay, let's split this up into good things and bad things.
T H E G O O D :
- diverse MC (Albanian, has synaesthesia)
- features consent!!!!!! we stan
- both characters are musical and play the piano (and in the audiobook whenever they play, you can hear it!)
- top tier sexual tension
- male MC has flaws, but is aware of those flaws
- literally could not put this book down, it was so gripping
- the writing is DEFINITELY a step-up from fifty shades
T H E B A D :
- kinda fatphobic comment made
- classic damsal in distress story where he is always saving her
- not sure about the Albanian rep and if it's done well
- literally NO MALE has the ability and stamina to have sex 4 times in a row in such a short period of time.... like dude, r u okay?
Overall, it's not the most perfect book ever, but boy was it fun!
tw: death of loved ones (in the past), sexual themes, alcohol, human/sex trafficking, illegal immigration, abusive parents, domestic abuse, arranged marriage, guns, kidnapping, claustrophobia (locked in a trunk/boot), attempted rape.
Okay, let's split this up into good things and bad things.
T H E G O O D :
- diverse MC (Albanian, has synaesthesia)
- features consent!!!!!! we stan
- both characters are musical and play the piano (and in the audiobook whenever they play, you can hear it!)
- top tier sexual tension
- male MC has flaws, but is aware of those flaws
- literally could not put this book down, it was so gripping
- the writing is DEFINITELY a step-up from fifty shades
T H E B A D :
- kinda fatphobic comment made
- classic damsal in distress story where he is always saving her
- not sure about the Albanian rep and if it's done well
- literally NO MALE has the ability and stamina to have sex 4 times in a row in such a short period of time.... like dude, r u okay?
Overall, it's not the most perfect book ever, but boy was it fun!
Read
October 1, 2019I did not finish it
********************************************************
Nuevo libro de E.L. James. Lo que nadie pidio y el mundo no necesitaba.
la sinopsis suena muy generica, hombre guapo y adinerado sufre por tener que administrar su inmensa fortuna, blah.
********************************************************
Nuevo libro de E.L. James. Lo que nadie pidio y el mundo no necesitaba.
la sinopsis suena muy generica, hombre guapo y adinerado sufre por tener que administrar su inmensa fortuna, blah.
Read
November 25, 2019Sorry, I am tapping out!! I just can't get past the first 5%
April 19, 2019
1 😶⭐️
I had such a hard time trying not only to read this book but finish it as well... I loved all shades of grey, but this...
Bugger. Bugger. Bugger.
The whole story sent out an aura of sadness, it was colourless and dispirited.
I found it impossible to connect with the characters and the pace was sooooo slow! In other words, it bored me completely.
Moreover, I found some holes in the plot. Maxim returned home on FRIDAY to see Alessia and after her shift he drove her home. Before she climbed out of the car they said that would see each other on FRIDAY!!!
The (real) reason of Maxim’s brother death wasn’t made known.
There was no explanation of how Anatoli located Alessia.
What happened to Maxim’s relatives?
This was supposed to be a stand-alone but there were many loose ends...
I didn’t anticipate another story with a broken male or more bdsm scenes, on the contrary I expected a mature writing and a powerful storyline that would captivate me and sweep me off my feet...
I am very disappointed 😔😔😔
I had such a hard time trying not only to read this book but finish it as well... I loved all shades of grey, but this...
Bugger. Bugger. Bugger.
The whole story sent out an aura of sadness, it was colourless and dispirited.
I found it impossible to connect with the characters and the pace was sooooo slow! In other words, it bored me completely.
Moreover, I found some holes in the plot. Maxim returned home on FRIDAY to see Alessia and after her shift he drove her home. Before she climbed out of the car they said that would see each other on FRIDAY!!!
The (real) reason of Maxim’s brother death wasn’t made known.
There was no explanation of how Anatoli located Alessia.
What happened to Maxim’s relatives?
This was supposed to be a stand-alone but there were many loose ends...
I didn’t anticipate another story with a broken male or more bdsm scenes, on the contrary I expected a mature writing and a powerful storyline that would captivate me and sweep me off my feet...
I am very disappointed 😔😔😔
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