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The Princess Beard: The Tales of Pell

(The Tales of Pell #3)

4.17  ·  Rating details ·  210 ratings  ·  69 reviews
Shave the princess? Inconceivable! The hilarious bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes are back with a new adventure in the irreverent world of Pell.

Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses.

When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long finger
Hardcover, 384 pages
Published October 8th 2019 by Del Rey Books
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Average rating 4.17  · 
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Liz (Quirky Cat)
Sep 29, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2019-reads
I received a copy of The Princess Beard through NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.

The Princess Beard is the third novel in the Tales of Pell series, which is a joint project by Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne. Together these two authors have created a truly inane and amazing world.
The Tales of Pell is a world full of fairy tales flipped on their heads, with dozens of stereotypes warped into the funniest ways imaginable. They stretch plots to their extremes, and have
Athena (OneReadingNurse)
Oct 30, 2019 rated it really liked it
Thank you so much to Del Rey and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for an honest review! All opinions are my own!

I have really enjoyed reading this entire series. Book three, The Princess Beard, picks right up in the world of Pell with more puns, more great characters, an epic adventure, and closure for some of my old favorites.

I think my favorite character in this one was the pirate captain. Filthy Lucre and all the ridiculous pirate rules in the manual were just hilari
Lauren Stoolfire
Oct 02, 2019 rated it really liked it
I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

The Princess Beard by Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne is the third hilariously entertaining installment of The Tales of Pell. Think Sleeping Beauty decides to start a new life for herself after she wakes up and become a pirate on a ship with quite the ragtag crew. Doesn't that sound like fun? For the most part, it really worked for me. I love how the authors are so successfully able to turn classic fairytale elements on their ear. I loved that herreview.
Deanna (Deanna Reads Books)
Oct 02, 2019 rated it really liked it
This review was originally posted on my review blog Deanna Reads Books

The Princess Beard is the third and final installment of the Tales of Pell fantasy parody series from Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne. I adored the first book Kill the Farmboy and was a little lukewarm on the sequel No Country For Old Gnomes, but the final book is a good marriage between the two.

I think what made me like the final book better than the second one was that the main characters in this book are one
Allie Gerard
Oct 06, 2019 rated it really liked it
I liked this entry in the Tales of Pell series better than Kill the Farm Boy, but not as much as No Country for Old Gnomes (which actually moved me to tears). The authors’ signature offbeat humor remains intact, and I loved the links (some subtle, some less so) to previous books in the series. The pop culture references felt fresh and relevant, and all in all The Princess Beard was exactly what I expected, in the best possible way.

I was particularly interested in the character of Tempest, a dry
Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with this book in exchange for my honest opinion. This will be available in stores on October 8th.

I loved both Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes (Pell #1 and #2), but this one failed to drum up much enthusiasm for me. That’s not to say I hated it. I just felt very apathetic about it in general. It wasn’t bad, it just…wasn’t.

The Pell books thus far have been highly ridiculous and incredibly punny, which is the kind of h
Oct 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
Thank you to NetGalley and DelRey for providing me an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. I really enjoyed the previous books in this series (Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes). I knew what I was getting myself into here and knew it would be some much needed levity after reading some heavy non-fiction, fantasy and science fiction titles. The Princess Beard follows the title character, a dryad, a centaur swoleboy, and an un-elfly elf on a piratical journey to buried ...more
Karin Gorham
Oct 12, 2019 rated it it was amazing
It is true that if you combine Kevin Hearne's writing and Luke Daniels' narration I am there for it, but these Pell books are particularly wonderful. They have large casts of varied yet complete characters, plots that cover important current issues, in this case mostly environmental and terrible/terrific (it is a very fine line) puns.
I love them all. I will probably reread them all frequently.

Nov 01, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Back to Pell with another ragtag group of fantasy tropes with a twist. Led by a bearded princess pirate in training this adventure finds its sea legs early. There are otters, elves, dryads and centaurs. I groaned out loud at a couple of the word plays.

The narrator does a great job at many characters but his take on the parrot was over done and grating.
Aug 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing
The Princess Beard is a puntastic laugh out loud gigglesnort of a good time read. This adventure of self-discovery is not without the occasional mishap but what doesn’t kill you … This tale is filled with epic wordplay and the occasional shout out to various adventurers past, present and future. I heartily recommend.
Oct 23, 2019 rated it liked it
This reminds me a lot of the Piers Anthony "Xanth" series but somewhat more up to date. But much like Xanth, the plot is really just a loose framework to serve up puns and pop culture parodies. If that's your thing, great. If you really want a solid plot, this book probably isn't for you.
Oct 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Oh my word, that was funny!
Sep 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: ebooks, read-in-2019
Oh, man. These adventures in Pell just keep getting more wonderfully ridiculous. No, wait. I'm wrong. The level of ridiculousness has remained constant in THE BEST WAY. They're just a rollicking ride from beginning to end.

The Princess and her beard are no exception. Because waking up after a cursed sleep to find yourself crusty and overgrown is only the beginning of Morgan's journey. I mean, the lady definitely finds herself along the way. And a cause. A cause that strikes her in the
Jason S Wrench
Sep 12, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Book three of the Tales of Pell by Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson was probably my favorite of the three books in this series.

As with all of the Tales of Pell books, this one starts with a connection to the first book. In this case, we are asked to imagine what happened The Lady Harkovrita after she awoke in her tower after having been cursed by the rose from the hands of Argabella? In fact, this book has us uniting a number of previous characters from the two previous books, Temp
Kim McGee
Aug 23, 2019 rated it liked it
This Rapunzel-like princess locked up in her tower doesn't wait for a prince to come and rescue her but escapes by herself and finds a pirate ship filled with unusual characters. Every wacky fairy tale character eventually finds themselves in this incredibly imaginative, irreverent and delightful fantasy world of Pell. Dawson and Hearn make a fantastic writing team and they never fail to put me in a good mood blocking outside world annoyances, make me question all those childhood fairy tales an ...more
Sep 26, 2019 rated it really liked it
★ ★ ★ 1/2 (rounded up)
This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
Readers of Kill the Farm Boy (the first installment in the Tales of Pell trilogy) may have been wondering about what happened to Princess Aurora/Snow White-esque figure, Princess Harkovitra*. Well, she wakes up, and finds herself in the position she's always wanted—a chance to start over. She leaves her name and home behind, hitching a ride with our old acquaintance Morvin on his way to start a new life himself.

*Then ag/>*Then/>This
Sarah Wright
Oct 07, 2019 rated it it was amazing
5/5 stars — laughter and life lessons in one absurd, delightful package

What can I say about The Princess Beard that I haven't already said about the first two Tales of Pell? In the series' third installment, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne again bring their trademark ribald humor and touching moments to a cast of larger-than-life personalities. This is a story with inclusivity and heart baked into every centaur-conjured teacake.

This novel's unusual characters include not only the afor
Oct 12, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Please Note: I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This did not influence the opinions of my review in any way.

Do you enjoy books with a ridiculous amount of puns? Parodies of beloved movies and fairy tales? Humor that is only slightly offensive? Well, The Princess Beard, by Delilah S. Dawson, and Kevin Hearne, will certainly provide all of those things and more. The third, and final, installment in the series is even more entertaini
Oct 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Monty Python fans
Shelves: fantasy, netgalley, arc
Full disclosure: I received an ARC of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

As with the other novels, this centers on a cast of characters in the process of figuring out who they are, what they want in life, and how to break free from the emotional baggage that keeps them from understanding and accepting themselves. For example, the toxic masculinity the dudebro "Krossfit" enthusiast centaur’s father imposed on him makes him ashamed of his tea ma
Elizabeth Gray
Oct 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing
The Princess Beard is a book that makes you think, even as you laugh until you cry. Much like the movie that the title references, this story is beautifully complex and multilayered. I have read it twice over, and know that there is still much left to uncover the next time I pick it up.

Honestly, it’s hard to decide where to start gushing. I adore fairy tales and their retellings. The premise of the princess rescuing herself and becoming a pirate is only the start of the story. At its
Tim Hicks
Nov 05, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: adventure, fantasy
Ugh. DNF.
I gave the first two 3 stars. Of #2 I wrote, "The humour seemed to be aimed at a slightly younger audience than last time, and some of it just seemed to be trying too hard. This would have been better with a third of the jokes removed."

Unfortunately that comment stands this time. Now it's aimed at kids who will laugh if you say "booger," no matter how many times you say it.

Tales of Pell? I lasted quite a few pages and saw no evidence that this was Pell, or anywhere other t
Oct 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
Disclaimer: I received this book free from Netgalley

You know what I hate about this book? The fact that this is the third one in the series and I never got around to reading the first two! I saw them on Netgalley, and never picked them up and I could just kick myself. I LOVED this book!

What a joy this book was. Irreverent, silly and hilarious. I found myself literally laughing out loud. I would read lines out to my 11 year old daughter and she giggled like a fiend. We both really enj
Emme Huffman
Oct 22, 2019 rated it liked it
This was fun! There are a lot of puns, and the story plays around with several fairytale tropes: princess in a tower, pirate ship, chosen one..., and it plays with them all well.

This is the third installment in the Tales of Pell, and it contributed pretty well. Like the first two books, Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes, it follows an assortment of characters: Morgan, the princess, Vic, a centaur trying to undo some magic, Tempest, a dryad who wants to be the first dryad lawyer, a
Sep 09, 2019 rated it really liked it
The Princess Beard is a laugh riot, as well as having an interesting story, and a very odd way of being written.

The only thing that prevented me from giving it five stars was a little bit of feeling of confusion at the beginning when the tenses switched. Once that was done and things settled in, the story started to get good and after it started to get good. Indeed, it started to get very good.

I enjoyed this book for its character, its depth, and the amount of fun that was had obviously by the
Nov 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: overdrive-audio
Another fun romp through Pell with another great cast of quirky characters and a few infrequent nods to characters from Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes. If you aren't familiar with those two stories, The Princess Beard can be enjoyed as a stand-alone; it may be slightly less enjoyable but any fantasy geek will enjoy the many references to various tropes and characters from popular fiction and fairy tales.

Despite the title, this is not a straight pastiche of Goldman's
Jason MacDee
Oct 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Pirates! Otter balls! And anti-tropes galore! I love this series. This book stands on its own rather well too. If you love fantasy, but also kind of like making fun of fantasy, then this is for you. Delilah and Kevin manage to entertain you on a trope-busting, pun-filled roller coaster of allusion. And somehow they manage to throw a little bit of education in there about stereotypes, gender norms, mansplaining, toxic masculinity, unchecked capitalism, and the evils of not knowing what’s in your ...more
Oct 05, 2019 rated it really liked it
The Princess Beard is another fantastic installment of Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearn's Tales of Pell series. Following the madcap adventures of Lady Harkovrita, who after awakening from a magical sleep sporting a headache and a beard, decides that she has been given the opportunity to escape from a dreadful marriage and runs away from her castle. Along the way, she learns how to become a pirate, makes many interesting friends, and embarks on wacky adventures full of pun-filled goodness. It's wi ...more
Marty Tool
Oct 10, 2019 rated it really liked it
You wake up out of a long sleep and realize you've grown a beard and hair that's been used as a climbing rope. Also remembering you're to marry someone you don't want to, so you do the only sensible thing, run away. Disguised by her beard, Morgan takes off early on and joins forces with a pirate and her adventures start. Personal growth of all the characters occurs while they face many perils and learn to work together as a team. Not quite as silly as the previous books, but still in the same ve ...more
Another witty and hilariously fun adventure in the land of Pell. I have grown to love these twisted fairy tales. The Princess Beard is a action packed romp with the leading lady taking matters into her own hands. Why not?! I love that she takes up with pirates and the diverse under tones of this series always make me happy. It's full of various characters that come together when they are not likely allies. I hope to see more from the land of Pell!
Thank you to Edelweiss and Del Rey books fo
Sep 05, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: dnf
Unfortunately, this book suffers from the same problem as the first two, and that is the writing. The humor lacks nuance and the jokes try so hard to push genre self-awareness that they aren't even funny. This series would definitely appeal to fans of fantasy who enjoy poking fun at themselves, however, they also have to be o-k with immature, unironic potty humor. Would recommend many other twisted fairy tales or parodies over this one, but every book has its reader.

Thanks to NetGall
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Delilah S. Dawson writes whimsical and dark Fantasy for adults and teens. Her Blud series for Pocket includes Wicked as They Come, Wicked After Midnight, and Wicked as She Wants, winner of the RT Book Reviews Steampunk Book of the Year and May Seal of Excellence for 2013. Her YA debut, Servants of the Storm, is a Southern Gothic Horror set in Savannah, GA, and HIT is about teen assassins in a bank ...more

Other books in the series

The Tales of Pell (3 books)
  • Kill the Farm Boy (The Tales of Pell, #1)
  • No Country for Old Gnomes (The Tales of Pell, #2)