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Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath's Guide to Evading Relationships That Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power
Highly sensitive people—or empaths—see life through the eyes of compassion and caring. They were born that way. As a result, they carry a tremendous amount of inner light. But they’re also the favored prey of “vampires” who feed off empaths’ energy and disrupt their lives on every level—physical, emotional, and financial.
In Dodging Energy Vampires, Christiane Northrup, M.D., draws on the latest research in this exciting new field, along with stories from her global community and her own life, to explore the phenomenon of energy vampires and show us how we can spot them, dodge their tactics, and take back our own energy. You’ll delve into the dynamics of vampire-empath relationships and discover how vampires use others’ energy to fuel their own dysfunctional lives. Once you recognize the patterns of behavior that mark these relationships, you’ll be empowered to identify the vampires in your life too.
In these pages, Dr. Northrup opens up a toolbox full of techniques you can use to leave these harmful relationships behind; heal from the darkness they’ve cast over your mind, body, and spirit; and let your own light shine. In the end, you may find yourself healthier, happier, wealthier, and more vibrant than you ever believed possible.
248 pages, Paperback
First published April 16, 2018
1049 people are currently reading
3108 people want to read
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August 13, 2023
This book is about how empaths should avoid a relationship with predators. The author discusses energy vampires who try to suck our souls (like the dementors in Harry Potter), how we can identify them, and the methods to resist or evade them.
This is an extremely difficult book to rate. The author is giving us some information that will be useful in many people’s lives. She is also sharing some information that can misguide you. Her take on vaccines, especially after viewing it during the Post COVID- 19 time like this (This book was published in 2018), will irritate the readers. The author, in fact, landed up in a few big controversies during the pandemic due to her opinion. I am surprised to see someone with such a sound scientific background and stature supporting pseudoscience and chasing controversies and conspiracy theories.
There is some useful relationship information in this book that might help you to heal. I would have preferred a bit more scientific backup to the information she shared in this book, though. If you have the maturity to pick up the correct information that will be beneficial to you and discard the unnecessary and harmful ones from books, you can try this book.
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This is an extremely difficult book to rate. The author is giving us some information that will be useful in many people’s lives. She is also sharing some information that can misguide you. Her take on vaccines, especially after viewing it during the Post COVID- 19 time like this (This book was published in 2018), will irritate the readers. The author, in fact, landed up in a few big controversies during the pandemic due to her opinion. I am surprised to see someone with such a sound scientific background and stature supporting pseudoscience and chasing controversies and conspiracy theories.
There is some useful relationship information in this book that might help you to heal. I would have preferred a bit more scientific backup to the information she shared in this book, though. If you have the maturity to pick up the correct information that will be beneficial to you and discard the unnecessary and harmful ones from books, you can try this book.
—————————————————————————
You can also follow me on
Instagram ID - Dasfill | YouTube Channel ID - Dasfill | YouTube Health Channel ID - Dasfill - Health | YouTube Malayalam Channel ID - Dasfill - Malayalam | Threads ID - Dasfill | X ID - Dasfill1 | Snapchat ID - Dasfill | Facebook ID - Dasfill | TikTok ID - Dasfill1
July 28, 2025
The concept of this book is good and I had really high hopes. Totally understanding the concept of being an Empath.
My huge issue with this book is how it’s explained from a mostly new age perspective not very psychological. All the talk of how older souls who’ve reincarnated lots of times and what-not had me give the research zero validation. It’s like saying because your aura is red you are a bad personality type stuff. 🙄
It was way too subjective and I think the author has taken this and turned it into new age teaching as that’s HER belief system. It’s not facts though. And people who suck the energy from us do have groundings in psychology. Narcissists do, Sociopaths do, emotional abusers do, manipulators do - heck get into relationship with one of them in any capacity or have one in your family you’ll know how bad it gets. By the time you escape or cut ties you have no sense of self, no confidence, no energy and have a road to healing to begin.
These events don’t happen from psychic connections and talking of “evolved souls” is just too far out there. This is an issue that’s been well researched as a genuinely negative impact on Empaths and highly sensitive people.
So if you are looking for solid, believable advice this isn’t worth your time. If you love new age philosophy and believe you are an old soul reincarnated many times then you’ll love it. One star from me.
If you’d like to connect with me you can follow me or send me a friend request. Have fun browsing my reviews for your next favourite book.
If you are an Author or Publisher and you’d like me to consider reading and reviewing your book(s) please just message me.
My huge issue with this book is how it’s explained from a mostly new age perspective not very psychological. All the talk of how older souls who’ve reincarnated lots of times and what-not had me give the research zero validation. It’s like saying because your aura is red you are a bad personality type stuff. 🙄
It was way too subjective and I think the author has taken this and turned it into new age teaching as that’s HER belief system. It’s not facts though. And people who suck the energy from us do have groundings in psychology. Narcissists do, Sociopaths do, emotional abusers do, manipulators do - heck get into relationship with one of them in any capacity or have one in your family you’ll know how bad it gets. By the time you escape or cut ties you have no sense of self, no confidence, no energy and have a road to healing to begin.
These events don’t happen from psychic connections and talking of “evolved souls” is just too far out there. This is an issue that’s been well researched as a genuinely negative impact on Empaths and highly sensitive people.
So if you are looking for solid, believable advice this isn’t worth your time. If you love new age philosophy and believe you are an old soul reincarnated many times then you’ll love it. One star from me.
If you’d like to connect with me you can follow me or send me a friend request. Have fun browsing my reviews for your next favourite book.
If you are an Author or Publisher and you’d like me to consider reading and reviewing your book(s) please just message me.
July 1, 2018
I have no qualms with the general theory that the author is presenting, but I can’t take her seriously for a few reasons.
First and foremost, she has almost zero citations. None. She throws out facts and talks about studies and makes no attempt to show that source. I don’t understand how a doctor can expect to be taken seriously without using clearly identifiable scientific sources.
Second but related to the first, two thirds of all her references to support her theory are unnamed friends. So many sentences started with “I have a friend who. . . “ and it seems to be expected that I take all these anecdotes as the best support for her theory without knowing who these people are or if their story is true. But even if I did have more information, I’m not interested in hearing stories about the suspiciously large amount of her “very close” friends that seem to have practically superhuman abilities.
Third, the author’s tone is painfully patronizing and self righteous. If she were a mom at school drop off, she’d be lecturing the other moms about the benefits of yoga and how she rubs homemade kale oil all over her kid to increase his IQ. (Probably). I cannot imagine her as a practicing doctor - she must have had atrocious bedside manner. Readers of the book are looking for guidance on how to disengage from and avoid emotionally harmful relationships, not looking to be shamed because we don’t know every detail of how we died in the past four lives. (Not kidding, this is a repeated topic and I only made it to page 75).
I know there are good books on this topic out there. This is not one of them.
First and foremost, she has almost zero citations. None. She throws out facts and talks about studies and makes no attempt to show that source. I don’t understand how a doctor can expect to be taken seriously without using clearly identifiable scientific sources.
Second but related to the first, two thirds of all her references to support her theory are unnamed friends. So many sentences started with “I have a friend who. . . “ and it seems to be expected that I take all these anecdotes as the best support for her theory without knowing who these people are or if their story is true. But even if I did have more information, I’m not interested in hearing stories about the suspiciously large amount of her “very close” friends that seem to have practically superhuman abilities.
Third, the author’s tone is painfully patronizing and self righteous. If she were a mom at school drop off, she’d be lecturing the other moms about the benefits of yoga and how she rubs homemade kale oil all over her kid to increase his IQ. (Probably). I cannot imagine her as a practicing doctor - she must have had atrocious bedside manner. Readers of the book are looking for guidance on how to disengage from and avoid emotionally harmful relationships, not looking to be shamed because we don’t know every detail of how we died in the past four lives. (Not kidding, this is a repeated topic and I only made it to page 75).
I know there are good books on this topic out there. This is not one of them.
August 10, 2020
This is a guide for empaths on how to heal the inner wounds left from unhealthy relationships, how to extricate yourself from the grip of a "vampire," how to heal from the abuse and how to avoid or manage future encounters. This is also an excellent primer on Holistic health provided by Dr. Northrup, a specialist in women's health and new age topics. This is more of an intermediate level take on these subjects and you should have a working knowledge to get on with this, or it may leave you confused. It is very New Age, as well as containing top research from psychologists specializing in personality disorders.
Some healing nuggets of wisdom:
--Repressing of righteous anger (such as in response to abuse, or a wrong) can cause serious health consequences. Anger is an important response to abuse. Our whole body will malfunction if we suppress this.
--Emotional impact on all disease and holistic healing. All emotions that are "unexpressed and unacted upon often manifest as illness in the body."
--Breathing through your nose to de-stress the body
--Bless your food with Divine Love (a form of prayer)
--Eating mindfully
--Learn about your family tree and what is inherited and played out down the generations. It is up to us to change it--not to pass on dysfunction to the next generation.
"We need to wake up from the illusion of our unworthiness."
"Being spiritual and unconditionally loving does not mean putting up with abuse of any kind."
"When another individual is completely disconnected from their well-being and their joy, this has absolutely nothing to do with you on any level. You didn't attract this. you are not responsible for it. The only thing you are responsible for is your own energy field."
"We empaths often feel comfortable engaging in 'love and light' types of activities, such as prematurely attempting to forgive and send love to the vampire in our lives. But you must not do this. It will delay your healing. You must first feel as bad as you're feeling and move your emotions out of your body." No suppression, no quick fixes, do the deep emotional cleansing in order to move on, like letting yourself cry.
"Love is toxic to a toxic person....There are only so many milligrams of love that a toxic person can take before they become mean or nasty. You know when they've reached their maximum dosage when they start to criticize you or being negative."
This one from Dr. Pat Allen, "If your mate is not overall 51% valuable, you cannot stay with them and remain healthy. Being in a toxic relationship may be a sign of unconditional love, but its also a sign that you love them more then you love yourself. That is a sign of mental illness."
Some healing nuggets of wisdom:
--Repressing of righteous anger (such as in response to abuse, or a wrong) can cause serious health consequences. Anger is an important response to abuse. Our whole body will malfunction if we suppress this.
--Emotional impact on all disease and holistic healing. All emotions that are "unexpressed and unacted upon often manifest as illness in the body."
--Breathing through your nose to de-stress the body
--Bless your food with Divine Love (a form of prayer)
--Eating mindfully
--Learn about your family tree and what is inherited and played out down the generations. It is up to us to change it--not to pass on dysfunction to the next generation.
"We need to wake up from the illusion of our unworthiness."
"Being spiritual and unconditionally loving does not mean putting up with abuse of any kind."
"When another individual is completely disconnected from their well-being and their joy, this has absolutely nothing to do with you on any level. You didn't attract this. you are not responsible for it. The only thing you are responsible for is your own energy field."
"We empaths often feel comfortable engaging in 'love and light' types of activities, such as prematurely attempting to forgive and send love to the vampire in our lives. But you must not do this. It will delay your healing. You must first feel as bad as you're feeling and move your emotions out of your body." No suppression, no quick fixes, do the deep emotional cleansing in order to move on, like letting yourself cry.
"Love is toxic to a toxic person....There are only so many milligrams of love that a toxic person can take before they become mean or nasty. You know when they've reached their maximum dosage when they start to criticize you or being negative."
This one from Dr. Pat Allen, "If your mate is not overall 51% valuable, you cannot stay with them and remain healthy. Being in a toxic relationship may be a sign of unconditional love, but its also a sign that you love them more then you love yourself. That is a sign of mental illness."
Read
March 5, 2025In Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Evading Relationships that Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power, Christiane Northrup, M.D. shares her expertise on relationships between “energy vampires” and “empaths.” Empaths, aka highly sensitive people, “see life through the eyes of compassion and caring.” Their light makes them frequent targets for predatory charmers “who feed off empaths’ energy and disrupt their lives on every level—physical, emotional, and financial.”
Dr. Northrup shares very useful techniques to assist empaths in letting go of toxic relationships, healing from the damage done, and truly being who they were meant to be. She uses research and life stories to teach about “energy vampires,” so that “we can spot them, dodge their tactics, and take back our own energy.”
This is an empowering book, just as useful as Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff, encouraging empaths to accept who they are, shine their extraordinary light in the world, and let go of the harmful relationships that sap energy, strength, and health. Even if the spiritual assumptions in this book don’t ring true to you, there are many useful tools that can be adapted to your beliefs.
By the way, note the garlic in the front cover—you know, to repel the vampires. – Kathy G.
Dr. Northrup shares very useful techniques to assist empaths in letting go of toxic relationships, healing from the damage done, and truly being who they were meant to be. She uses research and life stories to teach about “energy vampires,” so that “we can spot them, dodge their tactics, and take back our own energy.”
This is an empowering book, just as useful as Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff, encouraging empaths to accept who they are, shine their extraordinary light in the world, and let go of the harmful relationships that sap energy, strength, and health. Even if the spiritual assumptions in this book don’t ring true to you, there are many useful tools that can be adapted to your beliefs.
By the way, note the garlic in the front cover—you know, to repel the vampires. – Kathy G.
August 11, 2019
I did enjoy bits of this book, even though I found the author’s “fixing emotional issues will cure all of your physical ailments” stance problematic.
Then, 16 pages from the end, she revealed herself to be an anti-vaxxer, which subsequently ruined the whole book. I really can’t trust the advice of someone who is so ignorant as to recommend that people avoid vaccines because they contain “toxic substances.”
They contain tiny trace amounts of these substances. It’s not enough to harm people and is there for a medical reason. The “toxic substances” argument is typical anti-vaxxer bullshit.
If you want a decent book on empaths that doesn’t invalidate actual science, Judith Orloff’s THE EMPATH SURVIVAL GUIDE and Elaine Aron’s THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON are both great.
Then, 16 pages from the end, she revealed herself to be an anti-vaxxer, which subsequently ruined the whole book. I really can’t trust the advice of someone who is so ignorant as to recommend that people avoid vaccines because they contain “toxic substances.”
They contain tiny trace amounts of these substances. It’s not enough to harm people and is there for a medical reason. The “toxic substances” argument is typical anti-vaxxer bullshit.
If you want a decent book on empaths that doesn’t invalidate actual science, Judith Orloff’s THE EMPATH SURVIVAL GUIDE and Elaine Aron’s THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON are both great.
July 2, 2020
In my opinion this book is dumb and irresponsible. She says to avoid vaccines, and to tape your mouth shut while sleeping so you can breathe through your nose. WTF? I started reading with genuine interest but after she said you can break wrist watch after wrist watch by giving off bad energy I just...couldn’t. I had to skim the rest.
One good part was when she discussed feeling one’s righteous anger, which I did moments later when I arrived at the “Become Vaccine Savvy” section.
This book in and of itself is an energy vampire.
One good part was when she discussed feeling one’s righteous anger, which I did moments later when I arrived at the “Become Vaccine Savvy” section.
This book in and of itself is an energy vampire.
May 28, 2018
Valuable information but I hate labels and think that the nature of every human is to be an empath, some just hone the skill more than others. Why do we feel the need to tap into the new age energy worker crazed labels... why can't we just talk about the problem like human beings with human problems and not elevate it to levels with new age labels that make most people feel this is out of their reach, not for them or even worse - woo woo new age bs.
The author explains that energy vampires aren't likely to change and that change has to occur within the victim for the victim to survive the experience and grow. Yes, we all need to know how to identify energy vampires and acknowledge that the phenomena is real because as the book concludes, we'll see a different world if we respond accordingly. This book provides that information and even points out the value of the lesson (the author thanks the energy vampires who taught her to change in order to survive and create a better life for herself).
You can look to this book for effective information for simple everyday contacts and uncomplicated or temporary relationships but don't expect to be able to work with it to solve serious relationship problems, like marriage. As the author advises - seek professional counsel because it's not a one size fits all solution within the pages of her work. She gives examples from the lives of other people but without complete details, you shouldn't consider that advice to act on even though the stories may seem familiar.
For more complicated relationships like marriage or immediate family, you can't and shouldn't think that just walking away is going to solve your problem. A fine example was given of a father/daughter relationship that the daughter did not walk away from, she just adjusted her interactions - brilliant! Just as your life experiences got you into the problem, you are responsible for finding your own solutions so as not to repeat your mistakes.
In marital relationships, you're going to have to dig deep and ask yourself how you got there in the first place. Don't expect a book to help you with that. Sadly, I worry about readers looking to this book for that type of advice and in this regard, maybe more emphasis should have been placed on the responsibility of the undertaking. Don't get me wrong, it's there but in a book like this I think that it should be repeated with every example given because of the segment of our population looking for the magic pill to solve their problems. This is serious business and requires serious work and hard choices. Most just want to walk away from their problem not realizing that it's their baggage that caused the problem in the first place. Identify your baggage with a professional, understand and work on unloading the baggage and maybe then you'll be ready to take responsibility for yourself and then deal with your vampires accordingly.
As a lawyer, I've seen many unhappy marriages end without resolution and I've watched the participants move on to equally unhappy second marriages (or more) because they didn't take responsibility for their actions. I don't think this book gave enough attention to that problem. Energy vampires don't just happen without willing participants and as this book concludes, we need to become the world in which we want to live.
The author explains that energy vampires aren't likely to change and that change has to occur within the victim for the victim to survive the experience and grow. Yes, we all need to know how to identify energy vampires and acknowledge that the phenomena is real because as the book concludes, we'll see a different world if we respond accordingly. This book provides that information and even points out the value of the lesson (the author thanks the energy vampires who taught her to change in order to survive and create a better life for herself).
You can look to this book for effective information for simple everyday contacts and uncomplicated or temporary relationships but don't expect to be able to work with it to solve serious relationship problems, like marriage. As the author advises - seek professional counsel because it's not a one size fits all solution within the pages of her work. She gives examples from the lives of other people but without complete details, you shouldn't consider that advice to act on even though the stories may seem familiar.
For more complicated relationships like marriage or immediate family, you can't and shouldn't think that just walking away is going to solve your problem. A fine example was given of a father/daughter relationship that the daughter did not walk away from, she just adjusted her interactions - brilliant! Just as your life experiences got you into the problem, you are responsible for finding your own solutions so as not to repeat your mistakes.
In marital relationships, you're going to have to dig deep and ask yourself how you got there in the first place. Don't expect a book to help you with that. Sadly, I worry about readers looking to this book for that type of advice and in this regard, maybe more emphasis should have been placed on the responsibility of the undertaking. Don't get me wrong, it's there but in a book like this I think that it should be repeated with every example given because of the segment of our population looking for the magic pill to solve their problems. This is serious business and requires serious work and hard choices. Most just want to walk away from their problem not realizing that it's their baggage that caused the problem in the first place. Identify your baggage with a professional, understand and work on unloading the baggage and maybe then you'll be ready to take responsibility for yourself and then deal with your vampires accordingly.
As a lawyer, I've seen many unhappy marriages end without resolution and I've watched the participants move on to equally unhappy second marriages (or more) because they didn't take responsibility for their actions. I don't think this book gave enough attention to that problem. Energy vampires don't just happen without willing participants and as this book concludes, we need to become the world in which we want to live.
October 11, 2023
Reading this book is like having a long chat with a very well informed confidante rather than a medical or psychology book. I feel like a I have a strong sense of what the author is trying to achieve -- and she has a lot of good advice in this book, illustrated with stories from her life and her friends lives. Yes, it's true - there's some woo-woo new age stuff in here but for the most part: nothing in this book will cause harm or injury to anyone who practices her advice. You might slightly alienate some of your friends and family if you start talking about violet flames and such -- those people can be just as annoying as the narcissists they are trying to avoid.
The latter half of the book focuses more on self-care and offers a ton of practical advice. I really like the advice about morning meditation and picturing all the things that can go right, and evening meditation to think about what you can learn throughout the day. Her description of the benefits of deep breathing through the nose and the way that it stimulates the vagus nerve and shuts down negative self talk generated by your reptile brain is effective at a lay person's level.
Christiane Northrup is a well educated and well intentioned writer and educator -- but she's also a very big business. She has a ton of books and videos on her website, but she doesn't self promote herself as a consultant or reference her own books in this book. Instead, she refers to a lot of other authors -- crediting them for their original ideas. I found it charming that she referred to the person I most associate with horoscopes in the free local weekly newspaper as a "philosopher" (Rob Brezsny authors "Free Will Astrology" and a book called "Pronoia").
Most notably - she's wholeheartedly embraced quite a lot of pseudoscience, generally. This book comprises a lot of hokum (ie "vampires") but has some good tips buried in what should essentially be a blog post.
The book boils down to the following: defining and teaching the reader to identify psychic vampires (or narcissists); learning how to create healthy boundaries and distance from those people, and how to avoid them in the future. Next, she discusses how to find support among people who are not narcissists and how to rebuild one's self-esteem and establish routines for self-care, including focusing on positive news and other inputs (ie, avoid violent/negative films). All in all - good messages.
The latter half of the book focuses more on self-care and offers a ton of practical advice. I really like the advice about morning meditation and picturing all the things that can go right, and evening meditation to think about what you can learn throughout the day. Her description of the benefits of deep breathing through the nose and the way that it stimulates the vagus nerve and shuts down negative self talk generated by your reptile brain is effective at a lay person's level.
Christiane Northrup is a well educated and well intentioned writer and educator -- but she's also a very big business. She has a ton of books and videos on her website, but she doesn't self promote herself as a consultant or reference her own books in this book. Instead, she refers to a lot of other authors -- crediting them for their original ideas. I found it charming that she referred to the person I most associate with horoscopes in the free local weekly newspaper as a "philosopher" (Rob Brezsny authors "Free Will Astrology" and a book called "Pronoia").
Most notably - she's wholeheartedly embraced quite a lot of pseudoscience, generally. This book comprises a lot of hokum (ie "vampires") but has some good tips buried in what should essentially be a blog post.
The book boils down to the following: defining and teaching the reader to identify psychic vampires (or narcissists); learning how to create healthy boundaries and distance from those people, and how to avoid them in the future. Next, she discusses how to find support among people who are not narcissists and how to rebuild one's self-esteem and establish routines for self-care, including focusing on positive news and other inputs (ie, avoid violent/negative films). All in all - good messages.
October 3, 2022
we can't be effective as light carriers if we are always allowing other people to bring us down. p137
This is an uncomfortable book to begin. The easy way to deal with it is to scoff at the author and her pretensions, and to decry the very notion of vampire as a personality trait and to cringe at the notion of emphatic tendencies, light carriers, or anything so vague as interactive energies. Even someone like myself who is comfortable with the terminology might brace themselves upon opening this book, prepared for an infusion of woo-woo.
As an empath, you are here to transform not only the wounds from your lifetime, but also the legacy of pain. You are here to end the pain. p26
Christiane Northrup, MD, may initially come across as grandiose, irritating, overly defensive and far too eager to prove her point. I am also uneasy with metaphors that imply a simplistic battle between darkness and light. The surprising thing is, after she has settled down, her points do make perfect if morbid sense and give a helpful new perspective on a pervasive and tricky form of abuse that often confounds its victims with what has been identified as the 3 archetypal wounds: shame, abandonment, and betrayal.
Our society has been built on darkness. Authority figures pit people against each other to keep wars going. Corporations look out for profits, above all else, because money is held up as the pinnacle of success. Schools instill fear and stress because nothing is worse than falling short of social expectations. With these pressures and the 24/7 bad news, it's easy to fall into despair and pessimism....But (that's) where Darkness gets its power. p189
Anger is simply a sign that a need isn't being fulfilled. p108
Anger is...not only justified, it's absolutely essential for healing and well being. p148
Make no mistake, the Darkness is strong and it dies hard. It is pulling out all the stops....It's not your job to take any kind of crap from vampires of any sort....p193
So what can we do when realize that we are under a vampires spell? How can we tell in the first place? That's why CN has written this book, full of suggestions. From three ways to reduce cognitive dissonance to a fairly comprehensive and chillingly familiar list of vampires on to a key presentation of the healing field.
Therapy is useless at best and harmful at worst unless the therapist knows how to deal with character disorders. p116
instead of waiting for our tribe to change...the minute we we feel and name the wound...we begin to heal. p130
Remember that 70% of what you see on mainstream television is brought to you by the pharmaceutical industry. They have a vested interest in keeping you numb and drugged. Literally.
p 195
The healing field for abandonment is commitment....your commitment to yourself is more than enough.
The healing field for betrayal is loyalty....Never betray yourself again.
The healing field for shame is honor, light and humor p131
In the end, this is a hopeful and urgent book. Do not be afraid to read it. It may change your life.
This is an uncomfortable book to begin. The easy way to deal with it is to scoff at the author and her pretensions, and to decry the very notion of vampire as a personality trait and to cringe at the notion of emphatic tendencies, light carriers, or anything so vague as interactive energies. Even someone like myself who is comfortable with the terminology might brace themselves upon opening this book, prepared for an infusion of woo-woo.
As an empath, you are here to transform not only the wounds from your lifetime, but also the legacy of pain. You are here to end the pain. p26
Christiane Northrup, MD, may initially come across as grandiose, irritating, overly defensive and far too eager to prove her point. I am also uneasy with metaphors that imply a simplistic battle between darkness and light. The surprising thing is, after she has settled down, her points do make perfect if morbid sense and give a helpful new perspective on a pervasive and tricky form of abuse that often confounds its victims with what has been identified as the 3 archetypal wounds: shame, abandonment, and betrayal.
Our society has been built on darkness. Authority figures pit people against each other to keep wars going. Corporations look out for profits, above all else, because money is held up as the pinnacle of success. Schools instill fear and stress because nothing is worse than falling short of social expectations. With these pressures and the 24/7 bad news, it's easy to fall into despair and pessimism....But (that's) where Darkness gets its power. p189
Anger is simply a sign that a need isn't being fulfilled. p108
Anger is...not only justified, it's absolutely essential for healing and well being. p148
Make no mistake, the Darkness is strong and it dies hard. It is pulling out all the stops....It's not your job to take any kind of crap from vampires of any sort....p193
So what can we do when realize that we are under a vampires spell? How can we tell in the first place? That's why CN has written this book, full of suggestions. From three ways to reduce cognitive dissonance to a fairly comprehensive and chillingly familiar list of vampires on to a key presentation of the healing field.
Therapy is useless at best and harmful at worst unless the therapist knows how to deal with character disorders. p116
instead of waiting for our tribe to change...the minute we we feel and name the wound...we begin to heal. p130
Remember that 70% of what you see on mainstream television is brought to you by the pharmaceutical industry. They have a vested interest in keeping you numb and drugged. Literally.
p 195
The healing field for abandonment is commitment....your commitment to yourself is more than enough.
The healing field for betrayal is loyalty....Never betray yourself again.
The healing field for shame is honor, light and humor p131
In the end, this is a hopeful and urgent book. Do not be afraid to read it. It may change your life.
April 17, 2020
More great wisdom from Christiane Northrup, describes empaths in some detail and gives examples of their tendencies, how they respond and adapt to the world right from childhood, which then explains why they act the way do as adults.
She describes it as a survival mechanism.
You can stop trying to explain why you don't want to see that award-winning war film.
Due to that ability to sense energy around them, they are often drawn to animals and nature because of their calming, pure and innocent energy.
Fortunately, highly sensitive people also tend to experience the simple joys of the world more fully.
She then cuts right through what others give terms like narcissism and sociopathic behaviours and refers to these as 'energy vampires' which is a way of relating to the effect they have on people rather than spending too much time on describing the way are. She's here for the empaths after all.
There are tips and examples of how to recognise these behaviours and why some people are susceptible to attracting them.
She gives practical advice on how to first recognise and then deal with people and situations that drain your energy. Tips, techniques, practices and tactics that put you in control of your life and your relationships. The kinds of things you may already know but that we benefit in being reminded of regularly. Recognising the important qualities in a relationship and starting with the one you have with yourself.
Much of the book is then given over generally to how to stay in the light, protect yourself from the dark elements in the world but also in ourselves.
Her suggestions promote well-being, something that doesn't require us to wait for something to get worse before being proactive, because problems present themselves in the energetic body long before they are detected by the traditional medical approach, so they can be addressed long before they manifest in the physical body, allowing us to maintain equilibrium, well-being.
Reading this is like listening to her speak, a lifetime of experiences and now she shares the wisdom of it all, holding nothing back, refreshingly courageous in stepping outside the conventional norm.
I enjoyed reading it and highlighted many passages and wrote a few of her practices in my journal, all good resources for the well-being toolkit.
Ideal slow-reading during a global pandemic.
Empaths often take extreme measures to contort their true identities into something less painful. They become very good at blending in and figuring out how to be loved and accepted not for who they really are but instead for how they can serve others.
She describes it as a survival mechanism.
Because they are so attuned to other people's energy, they suffer when other's suffer, so they work harder not to make anyone suffer.
You can stop trying to explain why you don't want to see that award-winning war film.
They also avoid scary or violent movies or television shows because they are too painful to watch.
Due to that ability to sense energy around them, they are often drawn to animals and nature because of their calming, pure and innocent energy.
Fortunately, highly sensitive people also tend to experience the simple joys of the world more fully.
She then cuts right through what others give terms like narcissism and sociopathic behaviours and refers to these as 'energy vampires' which is a way of relating to the effect they have on people rather than spending too much time on describing the way are. She's here for the empaths after all.
There are tips and examples of how to recognise these behaviours and why some people are susceptible to attracting them.
She gives practical advice on how to first recognise and then deal with people and situations that drain your energy. Tips, techniques, practices and tactics that put you in control of your life and your relationships. The kinds of things you may already know but that we benefit in being reminded of regularly. Recognising the important qualities in a relationship and starting with the one you have with yourself.
Dr. Mario Martinez notes that for each of the archetypal wounds - abandonment, betrayal, shame - there is a corresponding healing field that will ameliorate suffering. These healing fields are energies that oppose the energy of the wound.
Much of the book is then given over generally to how to stay in the light, protect yourself from the dark elements in the world but also in ourselves.
Her suggestions promote well-being, something that doesn't require us to wait for something to get worse before being proactive, because problems present themselves in the energetic body long before they are detected by the traditional medical approach, so they can be addressed long before they manifest in the physical body, allowing us to maintain equilibrium, well-being.
Generally speaking, highly sensitive people do far better with healing approaches based on quantum energy, not chemical and surgical intervention. Homeopathy, flower essences, acupuncture, massage, herbs, prayer, yoga, Pilates, chiropractic, medical intuition, and Divine love healings - I consider all of these to be actual health care because of these things interact with the energy field of the body.
Reading this is like listening to her speak, a lifetime of experiences and now she shares the wisdom of it all, holding nothing back, refreshingly courageous in stepping outside the conventional norm.
I enjoyed reading it and highlighted many passages and wrote a few of her practices in my journal, all good resources for the well-being toolkit.
Ideal slow-reading during a global pandemic.
April 26, 2023
I always enjoy Dr. Northrup's books, but this one was a little disappointing to me because it deals with the most extreme examples of this type of personality, where I would have gotten more out of it, and I suspect many people would as well, if she had described a bit more completely those people who have more commonplace aspects of the vampire personality, rather than just the most extreme examples of the pathology, and how to recognize and deal with the more subtle or insidious aspects of relationships that have this dynamic to them. I think probably anyone can get something out of any of her books and this one's no exception even though personally I didn't find that much new information in the discussion about energy-draining people.
However, I really did receive my Northrup enlightenment in the second half of the book where the focus is on health and she was talking unexpectedly about the negative effects of sitting for long periods of time. Just the way she described energy pathways and fascia and the importance of keeping things in your body from getting stagnant was inspiring to me and I just "got it" and have begun to stand up and move every 20 minutes, do more weight-bearing stuff and more treadmill and jogging instead of just swimming, and altering some other aspects of my physical activity including improving the way I do my yoga practice. I know from personal experience how crucial movement is because many years ago I completely cured a 6-month-long crushing period of depression with 2 weeks of intense (for me) physical exercise. So for me the book was worth its price just for that. Movement is very important for dealing with all kinds of stress, including people who drain you, so I can see why this discussion was relevant to the book, and it made things click for me.
The book contains some great advice on pages 102-103 about dealing with dependents and other people who don't respect boundaries with you, and her advice is simple, incisive, and effective. There's an interesting process you can do to clear residue from old relationships, and when she described it she gave such funny and down-to-earth examples that I found myself laughing out loud -- another great stress buster.
However, I really did receive my Northrup enlightenment in the second half of the book where the focus is on health and she was talking unexpectedly about the negative effects of sitting for long periods of time. Just the way she described energy pathways and fascia and the importance of keeping things in your body from getting stagnant was inspiring to me and I just "got it" and have begun to stand up and move every 20 minutes, do more weight-bearing stuff and more treadmill and jogging instead of just swimming, and altering some other aspects of my physical activity including improving the way I do my yoga practice. I know from personal experience how crucial movement is because many years ago I completely cured a 6-month-long crushing period of depression with 2 weeks of intense (for me) physical exercise. So for me the book was worth its price just for that. Movement is very important for dealing with all kinds of stress, including people who drain you, so I can see why this discussion was relevant to the book, and it made things click for me.
The book contains some great advice on pages 102-103 about dealing with dependents and other people who don't respect boundaries with you, and her advice is simple, incisive, and effective. There's an interesting process you can do to clear residue from old relationships, and when she described it she gave such funny and down-to-earth examples that I found myself laughing out loud -- another great stress buster.
June 16, 2018
oof. so i have this masochistic impulse to rescue useful tech from crap ideology, which leads to reading a ton of self-help & new age books. i've mostly been satisfying that impulse via pretty solid stuff, these days. this book is definitely an exception.
drawn to it because of past experiences with narcissists, was hoping to find some tips & tools. was NOT expecting this book to be quite as new age as it is. while i did find a few things helpful (& i'm noting others for experimentation), the overall narrative/philosophical frame was gut-wrenchingly indefensible and problematic.
reincarnation, love & light, unattributed theosophical techniques, beliefs as causes for illness, focus on forgiveness, and compensatory "you're special" messages. my problems aren't necessarily with these things per se, but with the lack of articulate context and perspective that would minimize the accretion of junk ideology.
though there are some decent passages about the importance of anger, some specific ways to renegotiate boundaries with destructive people, and some (light) analysis of self-concept issues that can arise from extended relationship with narcissists & other manipulative people.
97% junk, 3% potentially useful. jury out re: efficacy of tech.
final assessment: probably not worth the time to read it.
drawn to it because of past experiences with narcissists, was hoping to find some tips & tools. was NOT expecting this book to be quite as new age as it is. while i did find a few things helpful (& i'm noting others for experimentation), the overall narrative/philosophical frame was gut-wrenchingly indefensible and problematic.
reincarnation, love & light, unattributed theosophical techniques, beliefs as causes for illness, focus on forgiveness, and compensatory "you're special" messages. my problems aren't necessarily with these things per se, but with the lack of articulate context and perspective that would minimize the accretion of junk ideology.
though there are some decent passages about the importance of anger, some specific ways to renegotiate boundaries with destructive people, and some (light) analysis of self-concept issues that can arise from extended relationship with narcissists & other manipulative people.
97% junk, 3% potentially useful. jury out re: efficacy of tech.
final assessment: probably not worth the time to read it.
March 7, 2022
I like this more than I thought I would :)
It's much more spiritual than I thought, which I enjoyed.
It's all about avoiding people who drain you of your positive energy and use it against you. It's about how to overcome being an energy vampire and to grow. It's about improving your awareness. It's having proper values in place to not get taken advantage of. It's about how to take care of your spirituality. There's high and low frequency traits that if people have low frequency traits like envy, guilt, fear then we should not associate ourselves with them because it's like a poison and can affect us too.
As an empath we feel the joys, sorrows and fear etc that others are feeling, this is why it's so important for us to not hang around low frequency people. It can actually affect your health, you can take on their illness yourself just because your so empathic.
It's much more spiritual than I thought, which I enjoyed.
It's all about avoiding people who drain you of your positive energy and use it against you. It's about how to overcome being an energy vampire and to grow. It's about improving your awareness. It's having proper values in place to not get taken advantage of. It's about how to take care of your spirituality. There's high and low frequency traits that if people have low frequency traits like envy, guilt, fear then we should not associate ourselves with them because it's like a poison and can affect us too.
As an empath we feel the joys, sorrows and fear etc that others are feeling, this is why it's so important for us to not hang around low frequency people. It can actually affect your health, you can take on their illness yourself just because your so empathic.
July 23, 2019
I was absolutely put off by a few things in it that I couldn't let go so I guess it didn't help me through things I needed to get through. I finished it the book though despite thinking how incredibly long it was to get through.
First, the book explained the difference between highly sensitive people and empaths. It warned against exposing yourself to really harsh images like scary movies, books, etc. But at least 3 instances it shared patient/client stories of children raping children. And each time it took me too long to get the imagery out of my head to get through the good points.
Finally the last few chapters got into recognizing triggers, people, and energies and how to affirm your light. I felt those pockets of the book were incredibly useful. I am actually a highly sensitive person. I feel too much. If I knew all these rape stories were going to stick with me for so long, I wouldn't have started the book at all.
First, the book explained the difference between highly sensitive people and empaths. It warned against exposing yourself to really harsh images like scary movies, books, etc. But at least 3 instances it shared patient/client stories of children raping children. And each time it took me too long to get the imagery out of my head to get through the good points.
Finally the last few chapters got into recognizing triggers, people, and energies and how to affirm your light. I felt those pockets of the book were incredibly useful. I am actually a highly sensitive person. I feel too much. If I knew all these rape stories were going to stick with me for so long, I wouldn't have started the book at all.
March 13, 2019
I liked the chapters explaining the connection between empaths and energy vampires and recognized a lot of those patterns in my (previous) connections. This is however not a psychology book offering you advice but is more of a new age book referring to past lives, meditation, angels and lots of references to other books. Things I already knew. You'll find suggestions like self-care, meditation, self-love.. if you know that basic stuff already, you won't learn anything new.
I also noticed a very negative mood when it came to explaining more about energy vampires. How they will never learn and are actually a lost cause stuck in their patterns and you must run away asap. While in a lot of cases this is true it does sound a bit extreme to say they are all lost causes.
I also noticed a very negative mood when it came to explaining more about energy vampires. How they will never learn and are actually a lost cause stuck in their patterns and you must run away asap. While in a lot of cases this is true it does sound a bit extreme to say they are all lost causes.
April 9, 2020
More than one trusted friend had recommended this book to me. Therefore, I chose it for READ ANYTHING BY Christiane Northrup in READ, the library's adult book club.
*We would have discussed this on April 11, 2020 @ the library but, due to the virus, unfortunately we will not have the opportunity.
I really liked this book because it showed me that the actions I have been taking to have healthier relationships do keep me safe and do preserve my energy. Hurray! My favorite chapter in this book was: STANDING AS THE LIGHT YOU ARE. (The final chapter.)
These are some direct quotes that resonated with me (especially during this surreal time):
*Everything that you do for yourself makes it safer for others to do better for themselves. Everything you do for you, you're doing for the whole--for the place where we are all connected.
*We are here to feel and clear dark emotions from the collective, and speed up the return of loving-kindness to the planet. Every time we feel pain, sorrow, guilt, or longing, it is not just ours. We are actually feeling and clearing that particular kind of pain and sorrow for everyone. This is the profound service for which we were born.
*When you reject the intangible, you decrease your access to the light, and that's when the dark sits on you.
*You have immense amounts of wisdom, so let your wisdom dissipate your fear. As Elizabeth Gilbert says in her book BIG MAGIC, fear will always be with us. It's not going away. But it doesn't have to drive the car. You can put it in the backseat. And not let it choose the radio station. I wouldn't buckle its seat belt either if I were you. No need making it feel more secure.
*But your Divinity is written in your DNA the minute you rise to the occasion of being the light.
*One of the most provocative things that Jesus said was "These things and more, you shall do also." And what he meant by that is that we too have the same power that he did. In my view, that is the second coming. When we realize the power we have had in our hearts, minds, and bodies all along.
*Make no mistake, the Darkness is strong and it dies hard. It is pulling out all the stops. And that is why, despite everything you've been told, the more willing you are to love yourself and be the light that you are--which includes radiating joy and optimism--the faster the Darkness will go away. The Darkness and its vampire minions are fighting for their lives. But they know that the jig is up. One person who is light positively affects 10,000 who are in Darkness. It's time to take up the banner of Lightworker.
*You are here to transform darkness into light, so the next time someone pulls at your heart strings--but never, ever does anything for themselves other than feed off your goodwill--tell them to go away. Investigate before automatically assuming that they are well-meaning. This is especially true if they are charismatic or good-looking and at first you feel flattered by their attention. Remember this phrase: "You haven't been chosen. You've been targeted." Then laugh.
*The next time someone is mean or critical, just know that it is your job to clean that up within you.
*If someone is rude or mean to you, just say, "Thank you." And then, either to yourself or to them say, "I'm sorry for your pain. Bless you."
*Deal with what is right in front of you. Not with what you see on the news, which is highly manipulated and designed to keep you fearful and angry. Remember that 70 per cent of what you see on mainstream television is brought to you by the pharmaceutical industry. They have a vested interest in keeping you numb and drugged. Literally.
*In order for you to access your full power as a creative human being, you have to be FOR something.
*Empaths are not meant to fight. We don't have the nervous systems for it. We're too sensitive. Only those with huge egos have the kind of stamina that it takes to fight on and on and on and on. Instead, it is our job to decide what causes truly move our hearts.
*When something comes into your environment that doesn't support the idea that all is well, then don't participate.
*Consume mainstream news sparingly. And with a well-schooled eye as to who is funding it.
*It was as though Alexi was being used as a Divine channel, as though he were put on earth to make the violin sound like that so that the air around him--and throughout the auditorium--healed all of us.
*My body is a tuning fork for this sort of thing. It's how I access Divinity. Your body is the same. You just have to find the right vibration. Identify what lights you up. And when you find it, notice it. Feel it. Expand on it. Talk about it. Take the ride. Don't get trapped in your intellect.
*The zero-sum model (there's only so much to go around so I win, you lose) will be replaced by nature's model. There's enough for everyone.
*As we stand as the light that we are and no longer give our power away to vampires of all stripes, we create a standing wave--a grid of light. A grid that connects us all over the world. And makes it easier to trust ourselves. And what we know and feel. We find our real tribes. We no longer feel alone.
*Together all we have to do is gently press on the door of a new reality. And get down on our knees in thanks.
*We would have discussed this on April 11, 2020 @ the library but, due to the virus, unfortunately we will not have the opportunity.
I really liked this book because it showed me that the actions I have been taking to have healthier relationships do keep me safe and do preserve my energy. Hurray! My favorite chapter in this book was: STANDING AS THE LIGHT YOU ARE. (The final chapter.)
These are some direct quotes that resonated with me (especially during this surreal time):
*Everything that you do for yourself makes it safer for others to do better for themselves. Everything you do for you, you're doing for the whole--for the place where we are all connected.
*We are here to feel and clear dark emotions from the collective, and speed up the return of loving-kindness to the planet. Every time we feel pain, sorrow, guilt, or longing, it is not just ours. We are actually feeling and clearing that particular kind of pain and sorrow for everyone. This is the profound service for which we were born.
*When you reject the intangible, you decrease your access to the light, and that's when the dark sits on you.
*You have immense amounts of wisdom, so let your wisdom dissipate your fear. As Elizabeth Gilbert says in her book BIG MAGIC, fear will always be with us. It's not going away. But it doesn't have to drive the car. You can put it in the backseat. And not let it choose the radio station. I wouldn't buckle its seat belt either if I were you. No need making it feel more secure.
*But your Divinity is written in your DNA the minute you rise to the occasion of being the light.
*One of the most provocative things that Jesus said was "These things and more, you shall do also." And what he meant by that is that we too have the same power that he did. In my view, that is the second coming. When we realize the power we have had in our hearts, minds, and bodies all along.
*Make no mistake, the Darkness is strong and it dies hard. It is pulling out all the stops. And that is why, despite everything you've been told, the more willing you are to love yourself and be the light that you are--which includes radiating joy and optimism--the faster the Darkness will go away. The Darkness and its vampire minions are fighting for their lives. But they know that the jig is up. One person who is light positively affects 10,000 who are in Darkness. It's time to take up the banner of Lightworker.
*You are here to transform darkness into light, so the next time someone pulls at your heart strings--but never, ever does anything for themselves other than feed off your goodwill--tell them to go away. Investigate before automatically assuming that they are well-meaning. This is especially true if they are charismatic or good-looking and at first you feel flattered by their attention. Remember this phrase: "You haven't been chosen. You've been targeted." Then laugh.
*The next time someone is mean or critical, just know that it is your job to clean that up within you.
*If someone is rude or mean to you, just say, "Thank you." And then, either to yourself or to them say, "I'm sorry for your pain. Bless you."
*Deal with what is right in front of you. Not with what you see on the news, which is highly manipulated and designed to keep you fearful and angry. Remember that 70 per cent of what you see on mainstream television is brought to you by the pharmaceutical industry. They have a vested interest in keeping you numb and drugged. Literally.
*In order for you to access your full power as a creative human being, you have to be FOR something.
*Empaths are not meant to fight. We don't have the nervous systems for it. We're too sensitive. Only those with huge egos have the kind of stamina that it takes to fight on and on and on and on. Instead, it is our job to decide what causes truly move our hearts.
*When something comes into your environment that doesn't support the idea that all is well, then don't participate.
*Consume mainstream news sparingly. And with a well-schooled eye as to who is funding it.
*It was as though Alexi was being used as a Divine channel, as though he were put on earth to make the violin sound like that so that the air around him--and throughout the auditorium--healed all of us.
*My body is a tuning fork for this sort of thing. It's how I access Divinity. Your body is the same. You just have to find the right vibration. Identify what lights you up. And when you find it, notice it. Feel it. Expand on it. Talk about it. Take the ride. Don't get trapped in your intellect.
*The zero-sum model (there's only so much to go around so I win, you lose) will be replaced by nature's model. There's enough for everyone.
*As we stand as the light that we are and no longer give our power away to vampires of all stripes, we create a standing wave--a grid of light. A grid that connects us all over the world. And makes it easier to trust ourselves. And what we know and feel. We find our real tribes. We no longer feel alone.
*Together all we have to do is gently press on the door of a new reality. And get down on our knees in thanks.
February 23, 2019
Catchy title, the author is a good narrator.. I am sure the author means well.
I can’t get over blending psychological advice with the deep dive into pseudoscience this author jumbles up.
Readers should understand that the reason we rely on scientific knowledge is that it is backed up by knowledge that can be shown to work. As soon as you drift into angels, souls and spiritual energies you cannot tell snake oil ffrom medicine.
The book is full of cognitive tricks to persuade of a view that may or may not actually exist, in many senses the book could be a cult making machine.
I can’t get over blending psychological advice with the deep dive into pseudoscience this author jumbles up.
Readers should understand that the reason we rely on scientific knowledge is that it is backed up by knowledge that can be shown to work. As soon as you drift into angels, souls and spiritual energies you cannot tell snake oil ffrom medicine.
The book is full of cognitive tricks to persuade of a view that may or may not actually exist, in many senses the book could be a cult making machine.
October 5, 2021
Northrup has some very insightful observations about people (particularly sensitive people and empaths) who are either in relationships with or working with those she calls energy vampires. These individuals, some of whom may even be considered sociopaths, are narcissistic, and continually take, giving nothing when there is no benefit to them. This combination of someone who wants to please and someone who is very critical can wreak havoc on self-esteem. Some of what she says, about avoiding vaccines and letting Mother Nature heal, seemed kind of irrelevant, and when I looked her up online, I learned that she offers really ludicrous and unscientific misinformation about COVID and masking, despite her training at an Ivy League medical school. So while I found learning about energy vampires interesting, I’m taking her other “advice” with a grain of salt.
January 20, 2024
Instant DNF. I tried to make it through but the grandiose statements with only anecdotal evidence to back them up really irritated me. Am I really supposed to believe that your empath friend shatters multiple watches due to his high frequency energy? I was absolutely lost when Northrup introduced the “multiple lives” empaths experience to achieve “enlightenment”. What in the pseudoscience?? I wanted to continue with an open mind but the condescending tone from the get-go really didn’t encourage me at all to keep reading. Ugh!
July 2, 2019
There is a lot of great info in here, especially regarding recognizing yourself as a highly sensitive empath. The author lost me a bit when she railed against vaccines and talked about a friend who was able to cure her cervical cancer without any medical treatment. I'm highly skeptical of those claims, but it is possible to get still a lot out of this book. Highly recommend for empathic people and/or those who find themselves in energy-sapping friendships and relationships. Do your own research regarding medical and therapeutic treatment.
December 2, 2021
It really helped me understand more who are the Energy Vampires in my life — past and present— and how to effectively deal /or not deal with them
BOUNDARIES
A close friend of mine “Helene you have changed!”
Me: “Damn right I have “!
August 28, 2023
Out of 200 pages there was maybe 3 dedicated to actually evading an energy vampire. I was really looking for a resource on tips for pulling away from a problem friend and specific tactics but the grand reveal was “Say no.” And “practice saying no” so you can do it more and more. Not super helpful.
December 15, 2018
Great and useful information here. Northrup is very encouraging and gives practical tips for dealing with these issues.
April 10, 2023
The first half of the book is fine, and has some good insights. The second half quickly devolves into new age stuff with the assumption the reader has a clue of what in the world she’s talking about. I found these parts hard to swallow.
October 27, 2018
I found this book to be insightful and enlightening. I also like that she describes legitimate, realistic tools to use to positively affect your mental and physical health.
Whether you’ve taken the tests that categorize you as an empath, you call yourself an empath, or think you might be an empath (or not - I, frankly, did not even read the subtitle and knew this book would be for me), this book is likely relevant to you.
Regardless of characterizations, if you find yourself making decisions or taking action in an effort to please someone else, this book will help. While many of the examples describe extremes, if you’ve experienced any level of energy vampire, the examples and tools will resonate and you can adapt them to your situation.
At the extreme, yes, get out of the relationship. In many cases, you will feel that you can’t, there are coping tools that will protect you and allow you to keep functioning. I’ve worked with narcissists (at the extreme), I have friends and family who drain my energy - until I take my power back and act in ways that are authentic to me. It doesn’t mean I cut people out of my life (although that might be ideal), it means I don’t let them get away with it. You can too.
I read some of the one star reviews and paid attention to how I felt as I read them. I was intrigued by my sense that the words and the dismissive, rude tone they used, and the defensiveness they displayed makes them feel like energy vampires to me. They may not be, but they feel like it to me in this situation - thanks to the book, I’m able to recognize it and process it in a way that is healthy for me. That, for me, is the true value of the book.
Sure, there are some bigger, harder things I can do, but it’s the little stuff like ignoring bad reviews that aren’t relevant to me, that are the game changers for me.
I’m grateful I read the book, I’m grateful for greater awareness, and I’m grateful for my new, healthier tools.
Whether you’ve taken the tests that categorize you as an empath, you call yourself an empath, or think you might be an empath (or not - I, frankly, did not even read the subtitle and knew this book would be for me), this book is likely relevant to you.
Regardless of characterizations, if you find yourself making decisions or taking action in an effort to please someone else, this book will help. While many of the examples describe extremes, if you’ve experienced any level of energy vampire, the examples and tools will resonate and you can adapt them to your situation.
At the extreme, yes, get out of the relationship. In many cases, you will feel that you can’t, there are coping tools that will protect you and allow you to keep functioning. I’ve worked with narcissists (at the extreme), I have friends and family who drain my energy - until I take my power back and act in ways that are authentic to me. It doesn’t mean I cut people out of my life (although that might be ideal), it means I don’t let them get away with it. You can too.
I read some of the one star reviews and paid attention to how I felt as I read them. I was intrigued by my sense that the words and the dismissive, rude tone they used, and the defensiveness they displayed makes them feel like energy vampires to me. They may not be, but they feel like it to me in this situation - thanks to the book, I’m able to recognize it and process it in a way that is healthy for me. That, for me, is the true value of the book.
Sure, there are some bigger, harder things I can do, but it’s the little stuff like ignoring bad reviews that aren’t relevant to me, that are the game changers for me.
I’m grateful I read the book, I’m grateful for greater awareness, and I’m grateful for my new, healthier tools.
June 6, 2022
Finished 6/5/2022. The title was in my opinion, misleading as it did not really provide any tactics to evade these energy vampires. It focused more on the problems of being empathic and/or a highly sensitive person. I disagreed with many statements, for example the author claimed empaths are not good fighters. I disagree, I would say I am an empath and I’ve been a police officer in patrol for the last 20 years, highly decorated too. I will say it was challenging, but it definitely can be done. Another disagreement I had was that the broad claim that empaths are here to heal the world, and that we were put here for some great purpose. I disagree. I think the world is all about chaos and that there is no great purpose. An empath can offer healing, it can serve a purpose, but I don’t believe in divine direction.
May 8, 2018
This book is so much more than its title. I would say it actually focuses more on "restoring your health and power" in a holistic way -- from moving through and healing your emotions, to taking care of your physical body, to knowing how to set boundaries within your relationships, not just so you can be your best self, but in being your best self and nothing but, you help bring healing to people around you.
I liked how the writer's medical background helped substantiate the claims in the book and provide a more holistic point of view to mental, emotional, physical wellbeing.
I would've appreciated summary notes and exercises at the end of each chapter for easier reference instead of having to hunt down specific exercises line-by-line within the book.
I liked how the writer's medical background helped substantiate the claims in the book and provide a more holistic point of view to mental, emotional, physical wellbeing.
I would've appreciated summary notes and exercises at the end of each chapter for easier reference instead of having to hunt down specific exercises line-by-line within the book.
July 24, 2018
When I first hear about this book, I was suspicious that the title might be a kind of marketing gimmick. Vampires? Really? But since it was written by someone I respect, and since I was dealing with a particularly challenging relationship, I decided to give it a try. I don't know how Dr. Northrup has time to give so much, but she does not hold back here. In fact, she exceeded my expectations. Not only did she make a credible case for energy vampires, but she packed the book with powerful resources. I would recommend this to any of my fellow "sensitive" sisters and brothers.
September 30, 2018
Honestly, I couldn’t handle this book anymore, even as an audiobook. I can always find something of value in these books, but this one was very problematic, and I feel could hurt someone who was looking for genuine help. Honestly, if you need help, check out Boundaries. It’ll help much more. If you like the new age aspect check out Rebecca Campbell or Gabrielle Bernstein. But don’t pick up this book, I feel like it’s not very clear at defining empaths and energy vampires, and the psychology is not very well researched.
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