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Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America

4.20  ·  Rating details ·  65 ratings  ·  29 reviews
In America, Mother = White

That's what Nefertiti, a single African American woman, discovered when she decided she wanted to adopt a Black baby boy out of the foster care system. Eager to finally join the motherhood ranks, Nefertiti was shocked when people started asking her why she wanted to adopt a "crack baby" or said that she would never be able to raise a Black son on
Hardcover, 304 pages
Expected publication: September 24th 2019 by Sourcebooks
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4.20  · 
Rating details
 ·  65 ratings  ·  29 reviews

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Aug 05, 2019 marked it as to-read
Giveaway win!
Jul 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
A book that will be a useful resource for Black women considering adoption........ Wasn’t it Toni Morrison who said, “if you can’t find the book you want to read, it’s your responsibility to write it. Well that is exactly what Nefertiti Austin has done. Wanting to be a mother, Nefertiti found scant resources and texts available centered around Black women adopting Black children.

So this book details her journey to motherhood through adoption and discovery that white women are normalized and uni
Mandi Grasmeyer
Aug 09, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: books-i-own
Laughed, cried, and learned so much from this book. So very grateful people like Nefertiti choose to share their stories! See full review at:
LaToya King
Apr 23, 2019 rated it really liked it
I received a DIGITAL ADVANCE READER’S COPY of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I recently read a tweet that identified white privilege as everyone learning to empathize and cater to whiteness. Unfortunately, we live in a society that does just that; we teach people to empathize and cater to whiteness in fairytales (think Goldilocks), in religion (white Jesus), and even in parenting. As a mother of two, I have seen the lack of inclusivity in books on expecting, parenting,
Mar 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I received a DIGITAL Advance Reader Copy of this book from #NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

From the publisher, as I do not regurgitate the contents or story of books in reviews, I let them do it.

When Nefertiti Austin, a single African-American woman, decided she wanted to adopt a black baby boy out of the foster care system, she was unprepared for the fact that there is no place for black women in the “mommy wars.” Austin set off on her path without the ability to seek guidance fro
May 27, 2019 rated it really liked it
When I first saw the title I immediately requested an advanced copy because I realized out of all the books I read that deal with motherhood in any way; the experience of being a mother, of not being a mother, of choosing to be childfree, of choosing adoption..etc, non of the ones I read or the ones I am able to find and access as easily are written by Black or Brown women. I hope this books gets as hyped as the rest of the motherhood books because it deserves it.

This book is about Nefertiti Aus
Susie Dumond
Jul 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
When Nefertiti Austin set out to adopt, she searched for resources for single Black moms of adopted children. She wasn't surprised by the dearth of materials. But she was surprised when she couldn't even find race-neutral resources. Based on the total lack of narratives like hers, she sat down to write the memoir/resource the world was missing. Motherhood So White is such an important book, and it will be crucial to many mothers and children that don't see their experience reflected in media. Au ...more
May 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing
So informative. Great information if your looking to foster or adopt . Loved the realness. Like to know an update on authors life now. Nice book.

Thanks to author,publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free,it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.
Stacie C
Aug 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: black-authors
Actual rating 4.5 stars. Review to come.
Jun 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Thanks to Sourcebooks for the ARC at BEA 2019, and to Nefertiti Austin for signing my copy!

I really really loved this book. It was a powerful memoir from Austin about her childhood and journey into becoming a single adoptive parent, and seeing the inherent sexism, racism, and classism within the adoption system and community. Austin discusses at length how we have been conditioned to view motherhood as a white concept, something that is the domain of white women to dominate and that black women
Jun 05, 2019 rated it really liked it
This book could not have come at a better time. I have a friend going through the foster care/adoption process and I realized there was so little I knew about how it worked. Rather than constantly badgering her to explain it to me, I'm glad there is a book that can help do it for her - while also telling a compelling memoir of motherhood that is rarely available on shelves. Nefertiti is a singe, black woman who decided to adopt a black boy through foster care, something that is taboo in the blac ...more
Lara Lillibridge
May 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
"Motherhood is so white and in need of a revolution."

This memoir is situated in history, examining the effects of racism in Black families as well as telling one woman's story of becoming an adoptive single mama. It's an intelligent book—Austin is a US History college professor, and her book is incredibly nuanced—her story spans through generations in order to help us understand where we are today. But it's also heart-warming and funny. Austin educates through what feels like a very good, smart
Kat (Why Read)
Apr 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Do not judge single black mother, Nefertiti Austin, by first appearances. She is a successful businesswoman able to upgrade cars every other year. She rose up from a childhood filled with changing homes of toxic parents and their drug abuse. Nefertiti has never been married and doesn't rely on a man for income. She has children but has never given birth. When she decided she wanted to be a mother she pursued a nontraditional route and her journey is an inspiration.

This book gave me the baby blu
Olga Barnes
Jul 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Oh, how I loved this book! I don't even know where to start! I try to educate myself about the different ways that people experience life. I am an immigrant whose first language is not English. I am a single mother of two boys (not by choice). I am a public school employee which allows me just enough to support my family, There was a time in my life when I was a recipient of WIC and my child was on Title 19 insurance. I have never not have my own transportation or a place to live. So, that's the ...more
May 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I don't typically read memoirs, but I've been trying to branch out and read more books by and about women, especially women that have and are living lives that are different than mine. Nefertiti Austin's book fits that bill and then some.

"Black mothers lived in a different America from white mothers." This entire book is a study in love. She found so few written examples of single black women adopting black children that they were not directly related to within the foster system that she decided
Cheryl Klein
Jul 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: memoirs
When Austin didn’t see her experience as a single Black adoptive mother reflected in the parenting or adoption canons, she did what writers and women of color have done for ages: She wrote it herself. She traces the havoc that slavery unleashed on Black families to a long history of open kinship adoptions within her community. She herself was adopted by her grandparents while she maintained a complicated relationship with her parents. None of that entirely prepares her extended family for her ad ...more
Aug 07, 2019 rated it really liked it
3.5 stars
Motherhood So White is a memoir of adoption by Nefertiti Austin, who offers her perspective as a single African American woman.
Austin shares her personal experience of the process of adopting her two children. She comments on how she had to pave her own way, since most of the literature, research, and advice she found centered on white adoption, but precious little seemed to address the unique concerns that she would face.
She rounds out her story with stories that touch upon the prejudi
Becca Murray
Jun 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: arc-reviews
Wow! This was such an outstanding and thought provoking memoir. Nefertiti Austin’s incredible story of choosing to adopt as a single Black woman was not only beautifully written but a truly impactful treatise on raising Black boys and girls in America and the cultural biases that are placed upon single motherhood. It is probably going to be the book that I can’t stop recommending people read. Much like Angela Garbes Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy l ...more
Aug 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
This is a very detailed account of a journey through adoption. It begins with all of the thought that goes into even making this life-changing decision. Especially tough for Nefertiti, a black single woman adopting within the foster care system. In addition to her own doubts and fears, she learns of the opinions of family and friends as to her ability to raise a son on her own. As she ventures into motherhood with her baby boy, she faces the challenges of raising a black child in today's raciall ...more
May 14, 2019 rated it really liked it
I’ve been on a memoir kick lately, and this one was easy to read and very thought provoking. I learned a lot about adoption and it was good to get the perspective of a Black woman. There were a couple of places where she got a little rant-y, but I’m sure she was just keeping it real. I know we elementary librarians have been saying for years, decades, that we need more diversity in children’s books so I’m sure she was rightfully frustrated about the lack of the Black perspective in adoption lite ...more
Jun 20, 2019 rated it liked it
Intellectually of course I know that people of color are underrepresented across the culture, but this book educated me specifically about the lack of representation of black women in the motherhood sphere, particularly when talking about adoptive mothers. However, I wish the author had done more showing instead of telling. I sometimes felt like she was holding back, especially when it comes to her life with her kids. That's absolutely her right, but it makes the book a little less powerful. Sti ...more
Jul 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is a book on black motherhood that I didn't know I needed! I loved how the author described her parenting journey with reflection on how she was parented. Then she gives us a glimpse into the severely flawed foster care system in the US. As a mother myself, this book also reminded how important a village is when it comes to raising a child.

This book is for anyone interested in raising black children. While most books cater to white mothers, this focuses on the black mom experience. However
Jul 23, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: arc-s, net-galley
*I received this book from NetGalley in return for a honest review*

As a single Black Woman, Nefertiti decided to become a mother through adoption. What follows is this story of learning, of growing, and of bonding with her family, old and new. This book is a heartfelt look into the realities of adoption, black adoption, and raising black sons in a world that automatically expects them to be a certain way.

I learned a lot from this book and it opened my eyes to some of the realities that I had nev
Jul 12, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2019

*Review to follow publication date as per publishers request*
Tricia Nociti
Jun 29, 2019 rated it really liked it
Incredibly readable, interesting, and important. I was pulled into Ms. Austin's life from the beginning and found myself wanting to visit with her over coffee to discuss each chapter! This would be a fabulous book to share with friends for a launch into a multitude of conversations from single life, parenting, race, social justice, structural equality, etc. This list is almost inexhaustible. Loved it!
IquoImoh Terry
May 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Motherhood So White, is an excellent read. Black women had been demonized as single household parents for years. But black mothers have been raising well adjusted black children for years. Kudos
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