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The New Bottoming Book

really liked it 4.00  ·  Rating details ·  1,335 ratings  ·  76 reviews
Almost a decade ago, the first Bottoming Book taught tens of thousands of people that bottoming - being a submissive, masochist, slave, 'boy' or 'girl, ' or other BDSM recipient -- is as much an art as topping. Since then, the growing popularity of BDSM, and the blossoming of the Internet as a source of information and connection, have created a whole new universe of possi ...more
Paperback, 2nd (revised & updated) edition, 200 pages
Published February 25th 2015 by Greenery Press (CA) (first published February 1st 1994)
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really liked it Average rating 4.00  · 
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 ·  1,335 ratings  ·  76 reviews

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Joe S
Dec 13, 2007 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: all of my future boyfriends, from now on
Shelves: nonfiction
If you want a how-to book, this isn't it. If you want a why-for book, this is your baby. I wish I would have found this book years ago. For people who are already in the game, it's a quirky, fun reaffirmation and reminder of the basics. And while you won't learn the practical importance of, say, different commercial-grade leathers, I think the authors do a pretty good job of guiding readers to the psychological space you'll need to find once you do snag a good top who knows his way around a dung ...more
Mary K
Aug 26, 2010 rated it liked it
Although I appreciate Easton's work, I feel that I run into the same wall every time I read something by her. Every point she makes are ones I already know, in a way; it's all common sense, lessons learned through living, and epiphanies we all come to at some point. We all know that in order to be the best bottom we can be, we must communicate with our top. We must respect our top. We must respect ourselves. Etc. We all are very aware of these things, but every now and then, we need reminding. W ...more
Beverly Diehl
Dec 01, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Excellent resource about bottoming for beginners that gives a great overview of the various ways someone might want to bottom, and why. Especially insightful was sections about a bottom's duty to their top. I had a lot of fun reading it, then playing dress-up and making the attached video review (, and know I will be rereading frequently.

Highly recommended for both beginners, and for writers who want to include these kinds of scenes in their own work.
Dec 21, 2007 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: anyone who has sex
Shelves: sexuality
Again more validation and a new insight into my own personal power dynamic in a sexual relationship.
Angel S
Apr 11, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bdsm
This book is really good for someone interested in bottoming that is still new to it. I'm not new to it, but it was still a good read.
Hope McCormick
Jun 10, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Helped me understand the psychological side of submission better than anything else I've read on the subject. Very good book for the curious.
Mark Stone
Jul 27, 2007 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: tops, bottoms, switches, and anyone else interested in BDSM sexuality.
Shelves: sex
When my girlfriend and I took our questions about our burgeoning interest in BDSM to our more experienced friends in Washington D.C., they recommended that we start with this book, and it's sister The New Topping Book. The authors write with wit and compassion, making this a fun, sexy, and comforting read.

It's important to remember, however, that this isn't a 'how-to' manual. It won't tell you how to play BDSM games with your lover - at most, there are a few scenes you might find interesting. I
Zuzka Jakubkova
May 29, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I loved authors' earlier collaboration on Ethical Slut and I was not disappointed by their thorough examination of receiving aspect of BDSM-related activities. (I personally read as BDSM as BaDass Sex Magic from now on, as I am getting a bit lost in all the abbreviations.)

Book offers great context on emotional status of bottoms, as well as their complicated relationship with their tops. Great pointers on safety in BDSM, importance of D/S in sex therapy and difference between preplay negotiations
Jan 15, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Beautiful, easy-to-read, vivacious prose; it almost seems like you're face-to-face with Dossie and Janet (the authors)!

Great introduction to playing submissive/bottoming roles in sex and BDSM. Great tips on where to start, what kinds of sensations and scenes you could explore, the healing and spiritual potential of BDSM, and what to look for/look out for in yourself and your sexual partners.

Additionally, the updated introduction and additional section about online communities and cybersex reall
Feb 13, 2010 rated it it was ok
The best thing about this was the former subtitle (removed in this edition): How to Get Terrible Things Done to You By Wonderful People. Astonishingly boring, I thought, given its subject matter.
Kristina Kopnisky
Jul 30, 2009 rated it really liked it
The companion book to "The Topping Book". The next level after reading SM101 & Screw the Roses. Silly illustrations. Amusing anecdotes. Good advice. ...more
Feb 09, 2017 rated it really liked it
A friendly and thorough exploration of what it takes to be a bottom, the myriad of activities one may participate in (and their safety concerns), and how to work with a top.
Where the sibling Topping book feels like an afterthought, this is more grounded, concrete, and inspired. There's less filler, and it generally feels more applicable--in part because it offers more concrete information re: types and subcategories of play, perhaps because there's less to offer in a topping book unwilling to provide technical instruction, but mostly because it feels like a labor of love, richer with personal insight and passion. But it shares limitations with its sibling book: it ...more
Jan 12, 2020 rated it really liked it
The parts about "connection with others" are probably about outdated - which is to be expected, as communication changed drastically over the last years.
I'm rating it 4/5 since even when you don't get something from every chapter in this book, it's really informative, asks the right questions and also leads you towards your own personal answers for them.
Jul 24, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Note: I did not seek this book out. It appeared in a box of donations.

Not aimed at any gender or orientation. I would recommend it for the illustrations alone.
Edward Richmond
Informative reading for tops or bottoms, especially newbies. Between this volume and Easton and Hardy's companion piece, The New Topping Book, I'd say that this is the more useful of the two because it deals more straightforwardly and specifically with the how and why of bottoming.

As a case in point, The New Bottoming Book addresses masochism very completely for a beginner-friendly guide to BDSM. It discusses not only the basic premise that pain leads to the release of endorphins, which in turn
Nicoll Campbell
Aug 20, 2012 rated it really liked it
Recommended to Nicoll by: Internet Research
Very Interesting - Whilst I learnt a lot about a many different aspects of Bottoming. I found Part 1 to be the most beneficial. Preconceptions vs Truth. The Net. Getting in touch with you.My copy has just about every second page highlighted or annotated in Part 1.

I thought Part 2 whilst extensive in the types of play ,I felt that the authors reminiscing of their conquests detracted from the actual "playing". The mention of "waxplay" had me sit up but then there was nothing about it(I will have t
Christopher Munroe
Feb 25, 2014 rated it it was amazing
There may come a time in your life where an, in hindsight, obviously abusive relationship leaves you completely disassociated from your body and sexuality.

In times like that, I should think, it is only right and natural to go back to your roots. Reconnect with yourself on a fundamental level, remind yourself who you are and what it is that you like. A person who tore you apart is one thing, allowing their influence to keep you from the fullness of life even after they’re gone is quite another. Y
A companion to 'The New Topping Book', 'The New Bottoming Book' left me with a lot ofthe same feelings. A lot of the information being the same, only obviously more geared toward the 'bottom' or more 'submissive' side of BDSM.
A guide mostly for beginners, there are a lot of useful tips, tricks, and reassurances. Again, I found that I knew most of the information prior to picking the book up.
I was honestly a bit surprised after reading reviews that called this book 'inclusive' that I found some s
Sep 26, 2011 rated it liked it
I can see that maybe when this book first came out nearly 20 years ago that it was breaking through barriers that existed between kink communities and the mainstream world....but as a Millennial who grew up in a sex-saturated era with immediate access to the internet at all times, coupled with coming from a sex-positive family and peer culture, I have to say there wasn't a lot here for me.

This definitely wasn't a "how" book, but more of a "why?" The authors' insights into various aspects of S/M,
Jul 24, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: sachbuch
I read this short book without really looking for anything specific apart from maybe checking whether I can extend my fiction writing horizons by getting a few new ideas. I didn't expect any brand new info, and I didn't find any. It's a nice read, the style is engaging and I enjoyed how open-minded, inclusive and non-judgemental the book was. I believe that for a reader who hasn't had any contact with the subject matter before, the book is a good starting point, because it will make you feel saf ...more
May 03, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2011
Read during a SFSI shift along with The Sexually Dominant Woman. The Topping Book is much better organized and offers really excellent theory. I’m skeptical of these two authors--The Ethical Slut put me off open relationships for years—but I really enjoyed reading this. ...more
May 28, 2015 rated it really liked it
This book did a nice job of giving an overview of how to remain same in the world of kink as often repeated in the ever present mantra, "safe, sane, consensual." It is a great resource for how to frame oneself mentally and is a great precursor before engaging in any heavy emotional play in BDSM. There is significant discussion of spirituality as it relates to kink, but it is always presented relatively secularly and repeated that to view kink spiritually is always the players option. Not a how t ...more
Jul 24, 2015 rated it really liked it
Think outside your boundaries! Although I was personally given this book by my BFF and directed to read it, I really enjoyed the experience and found it quite interesting and informative. It is especially good at helping better understand the dynamics of a relationship and offering insights to improving one's service as a bottom. The book has already helped me be a better submissive to my BFF and her sister in our somewhat complex F/F/F D/D/s experimentation. XOXOXOs to the authors, Janet Hardy ...more
Jun 25, 2012 rated it liked it
The New Bottoming Book is a good starter book for those interested in the sub aspect of a BDSM lifestyle, either as a bottom or a top. This is not the end all, be all, but gives a good idea of what can be expected, real life scenarios, and a basic understanding of the lifestyle.

I like the authors use of real life experiences to illustrate situations and expectations. I came with a better understanding of what I want from the lifestyle. Good way to begin.
Sep 14, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I thought it was amazing. It got me thinking about my kink in a new way and allowed me to vocalize fantasies that I've had in my mind waiting to come to the surface. I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking to get into the world of BDSM and is interested in being the one receiving the "punishment." There's so many facets to the world of BDSM and some education is definitely a good idea.
Quinn Daley
Apr 06, 2011 rated it really liked it
Seeing the other side was very useful, although I learnt little that I didn't get from the companion volume. As always, Easton & Hardy are confident, fun and responsible authors, although their need to include spirituality (thankfully in a dedicated chapter) in everything is sometimes a bit hard work. ...more
Paul Hampson
Sep 09, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: sexuality
Absolutely essential, along with the Topping book, for anyone interested in exploring their sexuality in a BDSM manner. From finding partners, pre-scene negotiations to the first session, Dossie Easton takes us on a journey, with informative anecdotes, in acquiring the necessary skills to be an excellent bottom.

Can't recommend it enough!
Aug 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing
As a young person coming into the scene, I found this book to be so informative and incredibly empowering. The authors put a lot of focus on the emotional aspect of undertaking the role as "full-power bottom", which I thought was particularly aware and sensitive towards the reader. Would 100% recommend.
♆ BookAddict  ✒ La Crimson Femme
I decent how to book for newbies interesting in subbing. This is a start. The book is written in a light and easy manner. It explains scenes and the thought process to those who are just looking into this lifestyle.
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