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For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity

4.27  ·  Rating details ·  1,055 ratings  ·  197 reviews
A nonfiction investigation into masculinity, For the Love of Men provides actionable steps for how to be a man in the modern world while also exploring how being a man has evolved.

In 2019, traditional masculinity is both rewarded and sanctioned. Men grow up being told that boys dont cry and dolls are for girls. They learn they must hide their feelings and anxieties, that
Hardcover, 325 pages
Published September 10th 2019 by St. Martin's Press
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Cavak After watching about some of her videos, yes and no. She'll repeat her TedxTalk topics, but she will also go more in depth about them in ways that go…moreAfter watching about some of her videos, yes and no. She'll repeat her TedxTalk topics, but she will also go more in depth about them in ways that go beyond soundbite and stage presentation length. Like including citations and updating information, for starters.

It's also centering on masculine mentalities in modern culture. While feminism does appear to compare with it, that's not the key goal of the book like some of her previous public presentations.

And it helps that For the Love of Men includes other men lending their personal testimonies. So, you'll get more than Plank with this one.(less)
Alison C How women would feel about a book called "For the Love of Women: A New Vision for Mindful Femininity", written by a man, would likely depend very much…moreHow women would feel about a book called "For the Love of Women: A New Vision for Mindful Femininity", written by a man, would likely depend very much on the actual content of the book. You don't suggest what that content would be, so I find your question irrelevant. In modern democratic countries, women and men can generally write on any topic they choose. Of course, whether the resulting books are useful/ well-written is a different matter. (less)

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Ive read many life-changing nonfiction books. Eating Animals converted me to vegetarianism immediately. Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town enlightened me on rape and the broken criminal justice system. The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence taught me about listening to gut feelings to stay safe. I could go on. But For the Love of Men turned on its head everything I knew about males and their place in this world. It was, in every sense of the word, ...more
Aug 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Drop everything: This is the most important book of the year, and you need to read it.

Liz Plank pulls out the big guns in her first book, incorporating her international travel experiences, social experiments, various interviews, and well-cited research surrounding masculinity. Coming from an outsider's perspective, she approaches masculinity from every angle, peppering throughout her book interviews with a wide range of men, including a transgender man, a gay black disabled man, a mixed Native
Rosa Kwak
Dec 25, 2019 rated it it was ok
conversations around masculinity are pivotal in our efforts to imagine a radical & transformative world. and with this book, liz plank gives us a fascinating, data-driven, anecdotal, and expansive account for why that is.

mainly written for men, i thought this book did a strong deep dive into the harmful ways that masculinity is misdirected towards violence and death (patriarchy is literally killing men and women!)

while so many conversations that i've had about feminism and gender center
Jan 18, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Recommended to Sandra by: Caroline
Shelves: non-fiction, 5-stars, 2020
Toxic masculinity is not only hurting women. It is also harming men. In the same way gender equality doesn't benefit only women, but also men. Th search for gender equality seen as a war between men and women is a consequence of a noxious concept of what being a man means we all grow up with. Is not about women conquering spaces that belong to men, but the new spaces we all win over. Gender equality should be understood as a war against the harmful notions and expectations that wound us all.

Dec 07, 2019 added it
Plank overreaches. This unfortunately is not a good book.

She is a woman trying to understand the experience of men, but this will never happen, just as men will never understand the experience of women. Swimming in her inflated sense of understanding, she advises men on how better to be men. The nobler, respectful, and compassionate approach is to acknowledge that despite our many unifying similarities, there are a small number of critical differences between men and women. These differences
Scott Shjefte
Aug 12, 2019 rated it it was ok
No love for Men or the Human race in this book. Gives an overwhelming set of some valid but also much somewhat suspect and biased data about how everything male is just so darn horrible. There is no understanding that the survival of the species has required aggressive male behavior, the Universe may not be out to get us but we will not survive long if we act like it is all honey and roses. The book gives no room for any hope or true path forward for men to be worthwhile. One key example is on ...more
May 20, 2019 marked it as not-released-tbr
Shelves: reviewed
this is an amazing topic that i am excited to see covered.

this will be a five star read


a one star read

we will just have to wait and see
Kara Babcock
Huge note: Since writing this review, Ive actually come out as transgender! So, uh, enjoy all the parts here where I laughably reaffirm my cis-ness! I will revise this review at some point. (Note to future Kara: actually do that.)

I received this book as a gift from a friend who shares my interest in feminism. She found For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity somewhat revelatory. Like me, she had already begun thinking about masculinity (we had both watched The Mask You Live In
Holly Hillard
Dec 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I think this might be one of the most important books I read this year. Im sure everyone has experienced some version of the belief that liberals or feminists are trying to take away masculinity. Or that we are trying to feminize men. The phrase toxic masculinity has become one of those things that shuts down conversations. Well, everyone needs to read this book. Her examination of masculinity- what it is and what it isnt- and the problems that men face was fascinating and thought provoking. I ...more
Jeff Shackelford
Sep 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing
For the most part, Ive done a pretty good job evolving past some the negative thoughts, words, or phrases that plague men today. However, I wanted to read this book to give me a better understanding of why I am struggling to make strong connections with other men, even as Ive worked to reach out over the last five plus years. After reading Lizs book, my struggle largely makes sense. The foundation for some of these reasons are centuries old, but many come from recent history (100-150 years). ...more
Ekansh Gupta
Feb 02, 2020 rated it really liked it
"We're more comfortable seeing a young boy play with a toy gun than a toy doll"
This book makes the case that men tend to do better in more feminist societies and how traditional gender roles are harming men as well. The book talks in a straightforward fashion, cites numerous studies and throws shade at Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro and other alt-right figures who have made claims in the past that a lack of traditional gender roles is emasculating young men and contributing to their misery. Liz
Feb 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing
A great way to dip your toes in if youre just getting into the topics of gender equality, toxic masculinity, gender roles, and feminism. The author provides mounds of research to educate those who read this book. Should be required reading for everyone! ...more
Jim Angstadt
Feb 02, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2020
For the Love of Men: A New Vision for Mindful Masculinity
Liz Plank

This seems like an important discussion on how men can change and adapt to a better, broader understanding of who or what we want to become. Sex is what we are born with; gender is what/who we are.

I had a hard time mentally unifying the diverse elements the author presented, all in the name of mindful masculinity.
Laila (BigReadingLife)
I picked this up because I heard and enjoyed an interview with Plank on Sam Sanderss Its Been a Minute podcast. Sadly, this book disappointed. The premise is great. We definitely do a disservice to all of us by how we raise and socialize men in America. This plays out in so many ways. If we encouraged boys and men to freely feel and express a range of emotions we would probably have much less violence in our society, for example. And I do like her attention to race and lgbtq experiences. But the ...more
Nov 02, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: nonfiction, 2019
I have spent my entire life around men: 5 brothers, senior leadership positions for over 20 years where I was the only female in the room. I thought that this experience meant that I understood men. I had read all about venus and mars, studied male-driven cultures, learned to golf and to talk trash about football.

But, only raising a son allowed me to see that I knew very little, and that what I knew might be very wrong. Therefore, I have greatly valued those books that allowed me to rip away my
Oct 04, 2019 rated it liked it
I read the history of misogyny a while back and it was written by a man and he explained that it was fitting for a man to write that history because they invented it. So I was willing to go along with Plank on masculinity, but there really is nothing new or insightful in here. I agree with the thesis that the rigid notions of masculinity are hurting men and we should change them, but that seems like an empty notion. How to change? What to replace them with? I have ideas about these things, but I ...more
Barred Owl Books
Jul 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Liz Plank is leading a vital debate about gender, power and feminism in a style that opens wider dialogue and reaches beyond the politically converted. She also shows it's entirely possible to have fun while tackling challenges like gender norms and cultural repression. Liz has established herself as a leader and an expert in the field of gender politics -- all without conforming to some of the old rules about what it means to be an expert. Whether you find yourself nodding in agreement or ...more
Feb 19, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Thoroughly (like, SO thoroughly) researched, well presented with the right amount of humor and frustration mixed in, and utterly compelling, even if you were already convinced at the outset. This is a book for men and women alike, and it lays out very explicitly the many areas of our culture that are affected by harmful ideas of idealized masculinity.
Feb 05, 2020 rated it really liked it
This is one of the most important books for our society today. We all need to be more mindful and compassionate as a whole.
Sep 10, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, netgalley
Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for an ARC.

I was really excited by the description and topic of this book, and think it's absolutely something we need more discussion about. And yet I was disappointed with the execution of this. There's a lot of good points here, but it's written in a very dense style that's a little more academic and less pragmatic than I had wanted. There's plenty of great interviews here with a variety of different perspectives on modern masculinity, but also one
Jul 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
thanks for this advanced copy goodreads!

very thorough, much informative and eye-opening even when you already know about most stuff discussed in this book: from parental leave to social norms, abuse etc.
Katie Heugel
Sep 22, 2019 rated it liked it
Liz brings up a lot of good points, but the book sounded sort of preachy. While her theories definitely seem like they have some standing, they can't necessarily be generalized across all men. Overall, an interesting read, but you need to take it with a grain of salt.
Chris Ringeisen
Sep 15, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2019
This book is two things.

1. A non-fiction treatise on Toxic Masculinity and prescriptive, idealized, traditionally stereotypical and performative ways Men unhealthily navigate a changing world.

2. An Pop-feminism introduction to Gender Equality and Feminism as a means to that end, even for men.

As a male feminist I'm left wondering who this book is for. Women who think #allmenaretrash? Men who prefer to identify as "egalitarians" unironically or any Men's Rights sub-culture?

I certainly found the
Jul 09, 2019 rated it really liked it
***I won this book in a Goodreads Giveaway***

Aaah, gender. Perhaps the only topic that gets people as riled up as politics and religion.

This book looks at the effect the modern world has on men and how traditional masculinity is really failing at giving them ways to deal. It touches on everything from parenting to religious extremism to navigating the workplace when women are around. Each chapter was well researched from a variety of sources: neuroscience, political polls, sociological
Oct 06, 2019 rated it really liked it
This book opens up a conversation that is necessary in todays world. The author dives into how the concept of being a man has been preset by societal constructions and expectations that hurt not only men, but women and children as well. Through detailed studies, stories, and guest self reflection, she proves how deeply engrained some dangerous expectations about men can be. She encourages her readers to think about alternative ways to raise boys, have men interact with their partners, and more ...more
Genevieve Trono
Sep 03, 2019 rated it really liked it
This title caught my eye right away and read I read the book description I knew I needed to read it. I am the mother of two boys and the topic of "men" is certainly on my mind. Having grown up in a household of women, there have been many surprises along the way of parenting boys. One of the biggest one of all is how much society's expectations play into what we think men "should" be like, starting from birth. Plank shares research on the physical, mental, and emotional harm that impacts men ...more
Joseph Young
Dec 28, 2019 rated it really liked it
Fantastic book. Liz Plank tackles the rising problem of 'toxic masculinity', or the negative expectations of men and the consequences they face when they do not conform to the stereotype. I absolutely loved the coining of 'Masculine Panic Warrior' to talk about commentators constantly pushing for going backwards, without looking at the consequence. Plank lambasts the fear and short sightedness these commentators advocate for and the suffering that results. I appreciate that this brand of ...more
Chad Guarino
Jul 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: netgalley
For the Love of Men is a timely review of what is a hot button issue in our political landscape: gender and toxic masculinity. While this is a book that men and woman of all ages would benefit from reading, due to the divisive nature of these topics in our country, it'll be unfortunately ignored by a decent amount of people (including some of the very people a little more mindfulness could really work for).

Liz Plank's arguments about masculinity and the expectations we put on men as a culture
Mary Elisabeth Tharin
Feb 03, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
This book should be required reading for everyone. The harm that culturally-imposed masculinity norms cause to men and women alike is rarely discussed, and the fact that Liz Plank was willing to take on this topic had me on board from page one. But it is a big task to challenge gender stereotypes that are engrained so deeply in our society that we often don't even see them.

Plank masters this task beautifully, offering her thesis that society imposes expectations on men that damage them in a
Oct 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I'm so glad this book was written. It explains so much about experiences I thought were unique to me but are apparently common male experiences (ex social isolation). I wish I had read this when I was younger. I want to share it with all the other men in my life.

- "...the very act of interrogating the expectations of masculinity violated it. The whole idea of masculinity is not failing at it. He described it as a shame loop, where the feeling of having failed begets overcompensation
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