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Love Lives Here: A Story of Thriving in a Transgender Family

4.48  ·  Rating details ·  2,444 ratings  ·  393 reviews
All Amanda Jetté Knox ever wanted was to enjoy a stable life. She never knew her biological father, and while her mother and stepfather were loving parents, the situation was sometimes chaotic. While still a teenager, she met the love of her life. They were wed at 20, and the first of three children followed shortly. Jetté Knox finally had the stability she craved--or so i ...more
Kindle Edition, 304 pages
Published August 13th 2019 by Viking (first published July 30th 2019)
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Average rating 4.48  · 
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 ·  2,444 ratings  ·  393 reviews

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Start your review of Love Lives Here: A Story of Thriving in a Transgender Family
Love always comes first.

An honest, uplifting, sometimes painful, passionate, informative, reflective story that I broadly knew from following Amanda on Twitter. In the space of a year, her middle child came out as a trans girl, aged 11, followed by her spouse as a trans woman.

It’s told with a light, self-deprecating, sometimes humorous touch, from Amanda’s perspective. Alexis and Zoe were fully involved in what’s written, and can tell their versions if they ever want to. Meanwhile, how many
Jun 08, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This kept me up until four in the morning even though I know how it ends - if that's not the hallmark of a great book, I don't know what is. If you know Amanda, it can be easy to forget that she has, not to put too fine a point on it, Gone Through Some Shit, even before her daughter and her wife came out as trans. This is an unflinchingly honest, unapologetic, hilarious, heartwrenching, clear-eyed account of a bunch of that shit. I guess coming through the fires of horrific bullying, adolescent ...more
Tinichix (nicole)
"Life changes you." - Amanda Jetté Knox

I finished this book yesterday. Wow. There was so much I wanted to say about this book, still is. I was hoping reflection would give me time to better articulate my thoughts. It didn't. I feel like I have even more to say and comment on. I think this book is amazing! I will do my best to phrase things appropriately, this book deals with very sensitive topics, please know if something is said that is not "by the book" that is not my intent. I have no intent
Sep 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is a very open and honest portrayal of Amanda's experience of living in a family with a transgender daughter and wife. It also talks quite a bit about the mental health issues she has dealt with throughout her life. Her courage to share her family's experience with opening up and transitioning was very eye opening and has provided me with so much more knowledge and understanding. I previously had no experience with any transgender people directly in my life, that I know of, and it was ...more
Lily Herman
Jun 10, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Welp, my gal pal Mackenzie continues to be magical when it comes to book recs; Amanda Jette Knox's Love Loves Here was the Bad Bitch Book Club's June 2020 pick, and it was excellent.

Amanda Jette Knox's writing reminds me of the blogging days of yesteryear; it's filled with empathy, warmth, informality, and humor, all of which add to her family's powerful story. She's honest about the plethora of mistakes she's made over the course of her life when it comes to understanding topics like gender and
Jul 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I could not put this book down. There is so much love in this family. We can all take a lesson from the pages within. Thank you Knox family for living your lives openly and doing the emotional work. You certainly personify “Lead with Love”.
This book was long listed for Canada Reads 2020 along with fourteen others. I selected some of the fifteen books I wanted to read and proceeded to place holds at the library on a few books. In the meantime, the short list came out and this book did not make the cut, but it was the first of my holds to become available, so I decided I’d read it anyway.

The theme for this year’s Canada Reads is “One book to bring Canada into focus”. On the website it continues and states “How do we move forward to
Steve Anderson
Jul 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
It's almost a cliché to say that a book changed your life, but this book did. As a 57 year old man born and raised in the buckle of the Bible Belt in the 1960s and 1970s, I had very definite thoughts growing up about the LGBTQ+ community... it didn't exist. Years later, it was just confusing and inexplicable.

This book about a real family living real lives made me realize that people are the same inside, regardless of the outer packaging. Amanda Jette Knox has taken a very difficult and sensitive
Jessica Woodbury
Sometimes I will say with a little negativity that a book is "Trans 101" but the honest truth is that we need Trans 101 sometimes. There are still a lot of people in the world who have never met an out trans person, who have uninformed and bigoted ideas about them. And for those people, we need some accessible, relatable Trans 101 stories. It isn't even bad if some of them are by cis people, because presenting that cis lens and showing by example when to speak up and when it's not about you can ...more
MissBecka Gee
I went into this with little info.
I expected a mom's thoughts on her transitioning child's journey and how it affected the family.
While it did have that...
She conveys so much more emotion than I expected.

Amanda is extremely honest in her thoughts and feelings without becoming wishywashy or harsh.
Perfect balance of facts and fun in an extremely conversational format (I did audio).
Something I think ALL my friends should read!!!
Lara Lillibridge
Times I full on cried: 8
Times I laughed out loud: too many to count

Amanda Jette Knox's memoir about having a trans child and a trans spouse alternates between first person POV Amanda’s story and 3rd POV for her wife’s story. Written with barefaced honesty—Knox never tries to make herself look good, and it is the recounting her own missteps that make this book so meaningful. We all screw up, we all fail our loved ones in big and small ways no matter how hard we try, but if we keep trying, we will
Ann Douglas
Jun 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2019, memoir
I was lucky enough to receive an advance reading copy of this book, which is scheduled for release in August. Here’s a copy of the endorsement I provided to the book’s publisher, Viking Canada: “Love Lives Here is a fiercely courageous story about the power of unconditional love. It’s an unflinchingly honest memoir that is one part thriller and one part love story — a book that demands to be read from cover to cover and to be shared with the people you love.”

Yes, I loved the book that much.
Brandon Forsyth
Nov 09, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
An incredible story, told with remarkable honesty and staggering vulnerability. A great resource or introduction to transgender issues for those like me who are new to the topic. A spirit of unconditional love suffuses these pages, and it’s the kind of narrative we need more of in these divisive times.
Love Lives Here: A Story of Thriving in a Transgender Family by Amanda Jette Knox was long listed for CANADA READS 2020, but did not make the short list.
My favourite quote in this book is on page 199: –
"I spoke about leading with love and letting everything else fall into place. I spoke about the thorny path of advocacy, but said I would walk it until the day I died for my child. As I spoke, the giant screens on each side of the stage showed one of my recent tweets: "I used to not want to rock
Dec 01, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I have mixed feelings about this memoir. It is an important subject, and her story is very very unique, and yet I found her annoying, narcissistic, lacking in certain boundaries that would protect her family, and almost condescending at times to other members of the queer community, who has not had her exact experiences but of course have had many experiences of homophobia, mis-gendering, transphobia, and the like. I think she is a bit ignorant about the hetero privilege she has traded in, so to ...more
Here's a step by step guide to being awesome. p225

Not that a sex change is a guarantee of awesomeness; but AJK is not claiming that. What is awesome to be taken away after the book has been read, is the unconditional love that this family shares. The irony is that both AJK and her partner, when they first fell in love, married to be normal. For a long time it appeared that they were right on track; three kids and all the trimmings. But if the norm is not real, it will not endure.

That their marri
Kara Babcock
If I had read this book last year shortly after it came out, I would be writing this review from the position of a cisgender man and, like Amanda Jetté Knox, hopefully a trans ally trying to educate himself. Instead, I recently came out as transgender, not too long after having the epiphany that I am a trans woman (I’m still trying to work out the precise language I want to use to describe that experience—but that’s for another blog post). So I picked up Love Lives Here: A Story of Thriving in a ...more
Jennifer M.
Jul 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
To be perfectly honest with you, I had no idea what Love Lives Here was going to be about. I picked it solely on the title. Then I started it. And wow, my heart fills so full after reading.

LLH is about a family. It's a family who goes through challenges that most people do not. If you are not someone who loves or accepts transgender people, then this book probably isn't for you. Or maybe it is. Maybe you want to learn more of the daily struggles or just find that you want to be more accepting.

❀ Susan G
Jan 15, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2020-reads
Wow!! What a loving family. I am thankful that they were willing to share their story, their challenges, their knowledge and their love with others.

As part of the Canada Reads long-list, it is another book that will move readers to a place of understanding and, hopefully, less judgement than seems to exist in society.

I am thankful to have read, learned and witnessed the love of a family through this book and think it would be a great memoir as part of Canada Reads!
May 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing

This is such a raw and heartfelt book about a family who just happens to include two trans members. It took a lot of courage to take her family’s story out in the open. Amanda’s story comes from such love. After dealing with so much bullying, heartbreak and grief, they have landed in the life they are meant to live, authentically and non-apologetically.
It is 2019 and this is a necessary read.
Congrats Amanda and your family for this love letter. It will help so many people who are afraid to live
Christopher Neufeld
This is one of the most important and powerful books I've read in a long time. I was sucked in from the first page and couldn't put it down. She inspires, provides tools, and tells stories that will leave you crying tears of joy and pain. I highly recommend it and will be passing along my copy and purchasing copies for others. It's a message so many people need to hear, and Amanda tells it so well. ...more
I was so happy that Chapters sent my pre-order a little early! I read it in one sitting. It made me cry at times but by the end they were happy tears. It's a wonderful story of how love endures and what defines family. It was exactly the uplifting read I needed. ...more
J.H. Moncrieff
Jun 21, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is a sucker punch to the heart.

I can't remember the last time I loved a book this much, but it's been a long while. Beautifully told and incredibly moving, Knox's account of "leading with love" when both her child and then her spouse come out as transgender is something everyone should read.

Sometimes it's an incredibly painful read--the horrific bullying Knox endured as a child, and then the agony her spouse and child suffered before, during, and after they began their transitions is e
Jun 14, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
An incredible memoir. I really appreciate and respect that the author was honest about her feelings, mistakes, and growth throughout her child and spouse’s transitions. So much change in one household could have easily broken this family, but instead they chose love, patience, and grace.

The transgender community is something I’m unfamiliar with and have so many questions but never really knew where to start or how to understand. I think Love Lives Here was the perfect place to begin for me, and
Nov 11, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Honestly what to say about this book??? Loved it! Authentic, sincere, from the! The way in which Amanda shares her own and her family’s experiences was raw and powerful. I learned so much about transgendered folks and their challenges such as dysphoria. The respect with which she describes everyone in her story, including the bully who tormented her as a child, was honourable. Mental health is also a main theme, which she manages to make relatable. She is a gifted writer and a fantas ...more
Maggie Cavanaugh
Jun 18, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bbbc
This was a great memoir, with a unique perspective, and I learned a lot! I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know about things like deadnaming and gender dysphoria (I had no idea a trans person had to be diagnosed in order to receive medical treatments!) Shout out to Bad Bitch Book Club for this pick, very much looking forward to the discussion with AJK herself.
Gail Amendt
Jan 28, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I was already aware of Amanda Jette Knox and her family from social media, and was intrigued by her story, when her book was placed on the Canada Reads long list. Sadly it didn't make the short list, but I decided to read it anyway. I am so glad I did. I thought I was already pretty well educated on transgender issues, but I learned so much from this story. Amanda Jette Knox overcame a difficult childhood, was married with three children, had a successful parenting blog, and seemed to have every ...more
Kade Gulluscio
May 09, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
Thanks NetGalley!

Love Lives Here is a memoir of a family with two transgender members. Jette's middle child came out as transgender at the age of 11. She transitioned from Jette's son to daughter. A little while later, Jette's spouse also came out as transgender! The family has become a role model for many!

This memoir was beautiful.
Apr 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Honest look at what it means to be a family. Learned alot. Great book.

Thanks to author,publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free,it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.
Chloe Halpenny
Aug 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: books-i-own
Just read this. A wholesome, feel-good story with lessons for all of us on what is means to be inclusive, accepting, and more than anything, loving. I'm so proud to say I'm from the same city as this author, and will be recommending it to all my friends and family! ...more
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