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304 pages, Paperback
First published July 4, 2019
“Don’t you think that’s ridiculous, Roberta?”. [Stevie] turned to me. “To put an emphasis on one arbitrary stretch of time that’s you know a total construct? I mean, we are all just these giant accumulations of stuff and experience and talking and things happening to us. You can’t break a human life down into years and say that one really means something”
“I guess it’s kind of like a cookery club” I replied “But it’s not just about the actual food. It’s sort of about how we assert ourselves in space. In different spaces. It’s about taking up more space.”
It’s about existing in spaces we’re told we shouldn’t exist in, or how we behave in spaces that expect us to behave a certain way, to be a certain thing – and what if we don’t want to be that thing? What if we don’t want to behave in that way? And then what if actually everywhere is one of those restrictive spaces, what if the whole world is designed to inhibit you, and just to exist in it is to break some deep taboo? So what if you give up making yourself smaller all the time, like all the time, and you make yourself bigger instead? And what if to make space for yourself to be bigger, you have to take it?
When he tried to tell me about some renovations he was having done to his home office, I said “Oh, I don’t think I’m interested in hearing about that”. I carried on talking, I spoke all of my unspoken thoughts and ideas. I spoke any notion that popped into my head. When I didn’t think he was properly listening to me, I repeated myself. When he interrupted I said “I’ve not finished yet”. When he told me something I already knew, I said “Thank you, but I obviously already know that”
Stevie put on “Cut Your Hair” and turned the volume right up. Stevie, Emmeline and I sang the lyric “Darling, don’t you go and cut your hair” DO YOU THINK IT’S GONNA MAKE HIM CHANGE? extra- loud, and Andre looked confused, because of course he didn’t understand.