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Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti
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Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti

3.88  ·  Rating details ·  1,379 ratings  ·  150 reviews

Bill and Pam Farrel explain why a man is like a waffle (each element of his life is in a separate box), why a woman is life spaghetti (everything in her life touches everything else), and what these differences mean. Then they show readers how to achieve more satisfying relationships.

Biblical insights, sound research, humorous anecdotes, and real life stories make this gu

Paperback, 253 pages
Published January 1st 2001 by Harvest House Publishers
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Average rating 3.88  · 
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 ·  1,379 ratings  ·  150 reviews

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Aj the Ravenous Reader
This is very similar to John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It's as informative and entertaining.
May 24, 2013 rated it it was ok
I saw this book recommended somewhere online, and . . . ugh.

The basic premise was fine. Men like to focus on one thing at a time, in women's lives everything is interconnected. Great. They could have wrapped it up in once succinct paragraph. But they didn't.

I don't think the authors (husband and wife) are bad people, I believe their hearts are probably in the right place, BUT. Halfway through, the book was actually making me so mad that I thought about chucking it. The only reason I kept going w
Jul 26, 2014 rated it really liked it
During our first year of marriage, my husband and I attended a retreat where the Farrel's were speaking. They had just written this book, and we basically heard all of the book's content during that weekend. As speakers, the Farrels are outstanding. They are very funny, and their stage banter is engaging and genuine. However, I'm not sure if that authenticity comes through on the printed page. I have read the multiple reviews criticizing the stereotyping in this book, and I can understand that p ...more
Apr 19, 2012 rated it it was ok
Parts of this book were really great, other parts of it really ticked me off. If you're a feminist, don't read this book because it will irritate when it comes to "traditional" roles that men and women are "supposed" to play. I was going through one of the quizzes and thought, "what is this, the 1950s?"

However, the book really does have its merit and I wouldn't not recommend it to a couple. It addresses relationship issues like communication and meeting each other's needs, along with things tha
Mar 11, 2011 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
We're doing this series in Sunday school. Worst book EVER. It makes me want to punch someone...preferably the authors.
Mar 12, 2013 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Ugh... men are a stereotype and women are a stereotype. Pass.
Dec 23, 2007 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: married couples who want to understand each other better
Shelves: marriage-family
"Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti" by Pam & Bill Farrel. I enjoyed this because it was funny. If you read it you'll get the title so I won't give it away for you by explaining that here. This was a good model for me to start thinking about how I might be thinking about my relationship with my wife versus how she might be thinking about her relationship with me and what we can do to validate each others needs in the relationship. Sometimes Pam and Bill seemed over-stereotypical abou ...more
Kathy Moore
Aug 04, 2014 rated it it was amazing
I highly recommend Spaghetti and Waffles. It has been incredibly helpfull for my kids dad and I as we navigate our lives. We used it when we were married and continue to use it now that we are apart. There are days when he will look at me and say "I can't Spaghetti." I immediately laugh--It is a wonderful check for all people who want to be in healthy relationships. I wish more christian authors would have the guts to be so open and honest and Pam and Bill are. And is GOOD and Health ...more
Jan 16, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: couples, men that need insight into the female psyche
Shelves: reread
My wife and I read this together during a semester of small group. We found that we learned quite a bit about each other, even after 11 years of marriage.

I would have to agree with some of the other reviews... the authors are a bit melodramatic or over enthusiastic about the topics that they are presenting. However, this book has made us a stronger couple and I have recommended this book to a number of my friends.
Jul 31, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Insightful and hilarious! I use some of the examples in here frequently with those around me... and I read this book about a decade ago!
Aug 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
Love, love, LOVED it!!! This book filled with not only facts about the differences between men and women, it also has a lot of humor mixed into it. Yet it is filled with Scripture references as well. This is one of my favorite books! I've read it twice so far, since I've had it. I highly recommend this book to everyone!
Jan 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: marriage
This is a great book. The differences between men and women are explained as Waffles- Men put things in boxes. Spaghetti - Women approach everything as it's connected to each other. It's an entertaining book and has a lot of good points. Definitely recommend it!
Marsha Barnes kerr
Sep 01, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I read this book so long ago, but I think of it so often as I deal with people. It was fun, clean and entertaining - and quite true
Wannie Michelmann
Aug 21, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Good principles and discussion questions. I did this over my own planned marriage conference, as a start to enhancing and maintaining the marriage. Good and fun book to read.
Maxine (Booklover Catlady)
A really simple fun self help book that made me laugh in places describing how the brains of men and women work differently and how we can learn to understand our partner better to improve communication.

So, men have waffle brains (can be eaten).What does that mean? It means they have boxes in their heads and at any given time they are dealing only with one box. Each issue is "boxed" and multiple boxes can't be opened at the same time or chaos ensues. This is why men like to focus on one task or
The premise of this book was simple and makes sense: that men generally like to keep things in their life separate and deal with one thing at a time, and that with women every aspect of their life is interconnected. Maybe even more importantly, they make the point that feeling successful is critical to a man's sense of well-being in a relationship as feeling secure is to a woman. But oh how painfully cheesy and cliched. I found myself repeatedly cringing at the portrayal of men as Neanderthals w ...more
Mar 13, 2007 rated it it was ok
Shelves: pastorsshelf
Ok don't make fun of me. I read this to understand better the difference between males and females, and I learned a lot - at least from the first chapter and the last chapter. The rest in between were not very interesting and relevant. The basic premise is that what makes men different from women is that they compartmentalize their lives into "boxes" like waffles. They focus on one box at a time, depending on what they are good at, and they will stay there until they have conquered it and they h ...more
Sarah Cassavaugh
Feb 20, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The best part of the book is the title. It might only have 3 stars if the title and concept weren't so fitting. To understand the analogy you have to read a little bit of the book. Just like most self help type books there is plenty of over generalization. However, it is good advice and insight, especially for someone who values a healthy marriage. My husband and I will be quoting concepts from this book for a long time (mostly related to waffles and spaghetti).
Monik ッ
Jul 12, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

Jul 21, 2008 rated it really liked it
This book taught me a lot about the way men and women look at issues differently. The waffle and spaghetti analogy really works well and helped me understand the different mind sets men and women have toward things. A good portion of the book is focused on marriage and how to relate with your spouse, but the concepts can be applied to anyone.
Jan 08, 2010 rated it really liked it
A very interesting look at the differences between the sexes. I couldn't help but agree with the Men are like Waffles (they compartmentalize everything) & Women are like Spaghetti (they are into everything and it all overlaps). But I firmlly believe we are all a little combination of both depending on the topic and time of life. An easy read worth it. ...more
A. Talbert
Nov 02, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Love this book! It changed my approach to men and women. I was dating when I first read this a few years back but I can honestly say that I still pull from it being single today. A quick read that gets straight to the point from a real couple. You can't help but walk away with a new nugget here and there.
Deborah Hawkins
Feb 12, 2010 rated it it was amazing
This book is a hilarious look at men and women. It has helped me understand my spouses better and is a must read for all couples. While this book may not be telling us anything new, it does present it in a unique manner that is both believable and practical.
Alicia Marshall-shook
Jan 05, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Awesome book. This was very helpful in understanding the way your spouse thinks and communicates. I found myself realizing that I am not alone. I am not the only wife whose husband communicates this way. Therefore, I am better able to communicate with him since I know how his brain works,lol.
Jul 18, 2008 rated it it was amazing
i admit, i love this kind of stuff. i use this analogy all the time. it simplifies life when you understand where the male and female minds are coming from. it's a great read.
Sep 09, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Great book that gives insight into the opposite sex and why they think they way they do, and why we think the way we do!
Feb 05, 2010 is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
Pam spoke at our MOPS group, she is hillarious and soooo amazingly relates and explains how men and women are and helps us to understand and embrace our differences for a healthy and HAPPY marriage!
Jan Gates
Aug 10, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Changed my marriage! 1 concept... men can think of NOTHING! I never knew. Not only changed, but saved my marriage!
Veronica Foley
Dec 16, 2018 rated it it was ok
This had some great ideas in it and I think it is a wonderful concept. I gave the rating I did because it was extremely repetitive and a little sexist at times. If it had been about 140 pages shorter I think it would have accomplished the same things it wanted to, been direct and to the point, and possibly less offensive.
Daniel Elvelyck
Apr 03, 2019 rated it liked it
Some parts of the book make me feel as "someone is finally understand me!" Other parts made me feel "welcome to 1955". The good part are GREAT! Some of the less good parts feel cliché and more differences between personalities than sexes.
However, a good read with new insightful understanding.
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“Most men have boxes in their waffle that have no words. There are thoughts, but they don’t always translate into words. Not all of the wordless boxes have thoughts, however. There are actually boxes in the average man’s waffle that contain neither words nor thoughts. To help relieve stress in his life, your husband will park in one of these boxes to relax.” 8 likes
“Successful couples learn the secret of fighting for their relationship rather than against one another.” 7 likes
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