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Where the Light Enters: Building a Family, Discovering Myself

Jill Biden

4.32 · Rating details · 2,694 ratings · 420 reviews

An intimate look at the love that built the Biden family and the delicate balancing act of the woman at its center

"How did you get this number?" Those were the first words Jill Biden spoke to U.S. senator Joe Biden when he called her out of the blue to ask her on a date.

Growing up, Jill had wanted two things: a marriage like her parents'--strong, loving, and full of laught ...more

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Hardcover, 210 pages

Published May 7th 2019 by Flatiron Books

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Jan 28, 2021 Lori rated it it was amazing

Shelves: audible, reviewed

I want you to know this up front: This is not a political book. When Dr. Jill Biden wrote it her husband had not even clinched the Democratic nomination for President. Because he was a Senator and ran several times prior, politics comes in tangentially. But there's no political content, no proselytizing. There is so much to admire and adore in her memoir; I encourage anyone who dislikes or despises her husband to push past that.

Generally Jill Biden had a very happy childhood and this is key to t I want you to know this up front: This is not a political book. When Dr. Jill Biden wrote it her husband had not even clinched the Democratic nomination for President. Because he was a Senator and ran several times prior, politics comes in tangentially. But there's no political content, no proselytizing. There is so much to admire and adore in her memoir; I encourage anyone who dislikes or despises her husband to push past that.

Generally Jill Biden had a very happy childhood and this is key to the family she built. The oldest of five girls, from a young age she was willful and playful, loving and loved and with a great sense of humor. As a teenager one of her chores was to iron; when she was annoyed with her father she would add starch to his boxers "knowing he'd end up with a rash in unmentionable places." Her mother too was very loving and had a heightened sense of tradition; the home was filled with love, learning and support.

Jill Biden, not yet Dr. Jill, was invited to the victory party celebrating Joe's first Senate win. There she met not the new Senator, but his wife Neilia. She describes Neilia's "calm" and "warm gracious smile," her poise and "easy, natural beauty." Neilia was charming and intelligent. Jill watched her circulate and was impressed. One month later Neilia was dead. She was driving with her three young children to buy their Christmas tree. Neilia was dead, thirteen-month-old Naomi was dead and Beau and Hunter, three and four respectively, were badly injured. Jill heard it on the radio and stayed stunned in her car in the campus parking lot.

One of the most impressive things about Dr. Jill is how warm and loving and respectful she's always been about Neilia and the loss to Joe, the boys and Neilia's family. She writes that at Neilia and Naomi's funeral a portion of Act 4, Scene 5 of Romeo and Juliet was read, beginning with "Death lies on her like an untimely frost upon the sweetest flower in the field." This line where the recitation began is said by Juliet's father. Neilia's parents and Joe all suffered the loss of a child so it's perfect.

When a few years later Joe Biden asked her out she was reluctant for many reasons but she's courageous and took a chance. Their love bloomed quickly, deeply. Everyone agreed they were right for one another. But she was quite cautious, well aware of the trauma Joe and the boys had been through. She turned down his first four proposals because she had to be sure she was right for this family, could be the mother -- they never allowed anyone to say "step" -- they needed, the anchor of all and the wife of a United States Senator. So when on the the fifth proposal Joe gave her an ultimatum, she thought it over reading C.S. Lewis's "The Four Loves" which helped guide her to yes. The wedding was a muted affair. Later on when she realized she wanted to have a child, it was the boys she went to first.

From the start she brought in some of her family's traditions and came up with new ones. She created stability and enrobed them all in love. She made sure the boys stayed with Neilia's parents, who lived out of town, regularly. They have a Thanksgiving tradition the Bidens still follow, now with grandchildren in tow. It has endured since the boys were small: packing sandwiches and going to Nantucket. It began because that first Thanksgiving they had three invitations: from Joe's parents, Jill's and Neilia's and she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by choosing among them. So she created something new and wonderful and enduring.

It's a joy to read about all the other traditions and touches Jill brought. Simple things like candles on the table. Wise ones like having photos of Neilia in every home in which they've lived. Making a breakfast for family and friends on the anniversary of Neilia's death, then giving Joe and the boys three white roses, Neilia's favorite, to place on her grave. She could have gone with them but carved out that time at the cemetery for them alone. The respect she's shown Neilia and the late Naomi and the space she created for the benefit of Joe and the boys impresses me so.

At no time does Dr. Jill present herself as perfect. Believe me, I would never have finished if she had. I can be a cynic and a smartass; this woman is a genuinely joyful person. Her actions speak volumes. Not having been a mother there was much that was new to her. When Little Beau asked her, "Aren't you ever going to wash our clothes?" she told him she does laundry weekly. He said, "You should probably do it every day." And so she did.

Over the years Dr. Biden chose to move from teaching high school to teaching on an adolescent psych ward. She shows great empathy for these kids who had tried to commit suicide, were cutting themselves, other things you can or can't imagine. From there she began teaching English at community college and still does. She describes her students' challenges and her own, being the first Second Lady to work. She worked with the Secret Service so they wouldn't stand out. Most of her community college students didn't know she was the Vice President's wife. She wanted it that way.

Knowing some were struggling to make tuition, to support themselves and their families, she began leaving breakfast bars in her classroom. Giving people their dignity comes naturally to her. And she's a role model; as the breakfast bars were taken other students began bringing food items too. She put out a box. Rev. Dr. Albert Schweitzer said, "Let your life be your argument." Dr. Jill Biden does that.

Despite all the losses and heartbreak this is not a morbid read. Dr. Jill has a fun side and loves to pull pranks. She doesn't only quote great writers and thinkers, she references Lucy Ricardo. She once hid in an overhead for five hours to surprise Joe on an overseas trip. There are many smiles and humorous anecdotes. She was determined to cook for her family in the Vice Presidential residence's industrial kitchen, where the Second Lady is not meant to do the cooking. It didn't go well. She persevered. And when the grandkids, old enough to know what they were seeing, showed up unexpectedly one Valentine's Day evening and found rose petals strewn across her and Joe's bed awaiting his arrival, she was able to laugh about it with them and share it with the reader.

She excels at telling her story. Listening to her narrate it in her lovely, soothing voice late at night was like a lullaby. I wish I could give this ten stars. I hope you'll read or listen to it. Men, I'm talking to you too! ...more

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May 11, 2019 Susan rated it it was amazing

I read this today, could not put it down. I nearly didn't read it at all because I received so many Kindle loans from the libraries and figured it would be just another politician's wife's book. I could not have been more mistaken. Jill Biden is brutally honest about herself and her faith and the joys and sadness that she has experienced in life. I loved this book. ...more

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Nov 17, 2020 Laura rated it it was amazing

Shelves: nf, audible, 2020, us-history, bios-and-autobios, amer-presidents, library-request, library

I loved this book. And I didn't expect to, to be honest. I don't usually read political autobiographies because I want a more balanced view, but in this case I wanted to get to know the members of the Biden family. I've felt for years like I knew who Joe was (because he's an empath, like me, so I feel like I know and understand his core), but I never knew much about Jill Biden, beyond that she's a teacher. In the runup to the election, what I learned about her made me more curious to know more a I loved this book. And I didn't expect to, to be honest. I don't usually read political autobiographies because I want a more balanced view, but in this case I wanted to get to know the members of the Biden family. I've felt for years like I knew who Joe was (because he's an empath, like me, so I feel like I know and understand his core), but I never knew much about Jill Biden, beyond that she's a teacher. In the runup to the election, what I learned about her made me more curious to know more about her as a person, and so I thought it'd be worthwhile to read her autobiography.

I'm not sure my review is going to do justice to the way I feel about this book. My mom recently passed and Jill and Joe come from the same general area as me, but are 20+ years older. Still, I was amazed by the many, many parallels, the continual reminders of one or both of my (now deceased) parents.

Jill is an incredible woman. What made me so curious about her was her "steel magnolia" air, her scrappiness. She is a strong family woman but also fiercely independent, someone who was never happy being only a senator's wife. She went to night school for many years while her children were young (as did I) and acquired not one, but three post-graduate degrees, including a PhD. She could teach anywhere in the world but has spent her collegiate career at community colleges (which is how I started as an adult student). Many of her students are immigrants and refugees and she is so fiercely dedicated to them and to her ability to make a positive impact on their lives that she is determined to continue to work while First Lady (just as she did while a Second Lady in the Obama-Biden administration).

After the four year dumpster fire that was the last presidential term, this administration is a much-needed breath of fresh air for the American people and for the world. But even if this administration were following the Obamas or any other president who actually respected the Constitution, I would still be looking forward to seeing what Joe and Jill Biden, Kamala Harris, and a team of talented and experienced professionals will bring to the unprecedented challenges we now face after a four year term of incompetence and malice toward the American people.

I busted my a$$ for nearly five months working for the Biden campaign. I've worked for campaigns in the past, for perhaps a few days toward the end, but this time, I wasn't willing to leave anything on the field. I worked on Joe's text team and worked my way up and became one of the moderators. It was an experience that changed me for the better. It made me see how work one chooses to do for free can actually be more impactful than one's chosen profession. I can't tell you how many voters thanked me "for my service" as though I were a member of the military. It was an honor and a privilege to serve the team and I can't wait to see what happens in the next four years.

If you're looking to understand more about the Biden family / to understand the incoming First Lady, I'd strongly recommend this book. Jill does the Audible narration herself. She's an English teacher, not a professional narrator, but I'm glad she read this book because there were many emotional moments and her delivery at those times heightened my appreciation of the book. ...more

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Jul 20, 2019 Ed rated it it was amazing

This is a lovely personal memoir. Dr. Biden teaches at the community college where I did a few years earlier for a short time. A few laugh-out-loud moments and the fast pace make the reading more enjoyable. The politics are kept to a minimum.

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May 08, 2019 Claudia rated it it was amazing

Shelves: memior

May 8th, 2019, 2:42am

There are no words to accurately express how I feel. I've just finished "Where The Light Enters by Dr. Jill Biden, I have read countless memoirs in my life time. I can say with certainty that this is one of the most beautiful & intimate memoirs I've ever read. It made me laugh, say "awe" out loud countless times, smile, and cry. It inspired to keep going after my goals. It made me miss Beau, & It touched me deeply as a young woman who has lost a loved one to cancer.

As I sa ...more

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May 28, 2019 Mary Sisney rated it it was amazing

Before I read her book, I liked Jill Biden. I could see that she was not a media whore, trying to grab the spotlight from her husband and the Obamas, and I appreciated that she was an English professor. But I like her even more now. Her husband is holding at about number seven among the 2020 candidates on my personal poll, but his wife is number one for favorite 2020 spouse. Forget the lawyers and librarians. We need an English professor in the White House. I was amused that Jill was another inn ...more

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May 18, 2019 Jennifer rated it liked it

This was a well-written book, jumped around timeline-wise a bit, but it was an interesting glimpse into the life of one of the Second Ladies of the US. The Bidens obviously appreciate family a great deal and support one another no matter what. It's nice to see that characteristic so strong in the people who are leading our country. ...more

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Jun 13, 2019 Lisa rated it really liked it

Shelves: history-american, biography-memoir, politics

Jill Biden's introduction to her life is accessible and well-written, and stands on the shelf with Michelle Obama's Becoming as a record of a time, place, and particular American life. I especially enjoyed Mrs. Biden's thoughts on becoming part of the Biden family as Joe's second wife (his first wife and daughter were killed in a car accident when their sons, Hunter and Beau, were young boys) and as a newcomer to a close-knit, extended family of Bidens. Also her insights into being involved with ...more

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Dec 16, 2020 Ashley Jacobson rated it really liked it

Shelves: read-biography

Jill seems like such a fun and loving person. This was a really fun, quick read. It had me tearing up in the end when she began talking about losing Beau right after discussing her work with military families. His death broke her. Her loyalty to her family is beautiful and a good example to all of us. I love reading about people who have lived amazing lives!

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Jan 24, 2021 Book2Dragon rated it it was amazing

Shelves: inspiring, favorites, non-fiction, owned, history, memoir, political-civil

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I was hoping it was not political, and it was not. It was a story of family, of romance, of self-realization, of struggle, of grief and loss of a child, of blended families, of courage and of a woman coming to know herself. Take the politics out of it in your mind and read it as a story of someone anonymous and you will enjoy this book. I was pleased to get to know our First Lady better.

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Jan 01, 2021 Becca rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Couldn’t recommend this book more! Dr. Biden is an amazing writer and doesn’t hold anything back. This memoir is real, raw, and will make you both smile and cry. I’m so glad that I was able to read this book before the inauguration!

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Aug 04, 2019 Valeska rated it it was amazing

Shelves: non-fiction

It was kind of a trick of the library hold system that I read the First Lady and Second Lady's autobiographies back-to-back. It was interesting getting their perspectives on the same situations.

I hemmed and hawed between giving this 4 or 5 stars as I was reading it right after Becoming. It takes a slightly different tact than Michelle Obama did. It definitely reflected the difference in their life experiences. Jill Biden is an English professor at community colleges so each chapter was set up w ...more

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Dec 02, 2019 Rhonda rated it really liked it

Really enjoyed this book, it is not a political memoir but more of a human, personal life story, I very much enjoyed the timbre of the book, the tales and heartfelt feelings that came with them. One line, "She left before I was done needing her", brought tears to my eyes as they totally expressed my feelings on the loss of my Mother. ...more

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Jan 22, 2021 Sara rated it liked it

Shelves: 2021, non-fiction, memoir

I'd flagged this book to read ages ago after reading about it somewhere, and I figured now is an especially timely! This was apparently only published in 2019 but feels like it was written much earlier than that, considering how much has changed since the publication. In here, Jill Biden writes about her life, how she met her husband and how they built a family together, and her life as his political career took off while she worked on her teaching career.

This was a fairly short read, so I supp I'd flagged this book to read ages ago after reading about it somewhere, and I figured now is an especially timely! This was apparently only published in 2019 but feels like it was written much earlier than that, considering how much has changed since the publication. In here, Jill Biden writes about her life, how she met her husband and how they built a family together, and her life as his political career took off while she worked on her teaching career.

This was a fairly short read, so I suppose it doesn't come as any surprise that the contents seemed fairly surface-level as well. I enjoyed parts of the book and definitely came away with the sense that both she and her husband are very caring, thoughtful individuals. It was interesting to read about how she needs time to recharge and how she's managed to push herself beyond her comfort level (for example, with public speaking) when it's being asked of her. The family moments in here were quite touching.

The narration bounced around in time a lot, so it wasn't always linear and occasionally became difficult to follow - especially when she talks about someone's death in one chapter, then they're alive in the following chapter. It was a bit jarring. Also, I felt like this often just touched on surface level items instead of actually delving deeper into emotions or truly unwinding complexities. There was also surprisingly little about politics in here, aside from a few mentions here or there about what her husband was working on. This is far from a political memoir; instead, it's about her family and how they've dealt with various problems throughout the years and how their strength as a family has helped them through it. One thing that also made it feel dated is that she often referenced how her kids found the perfect partners for them in life, yet one of them has since divorced this perfect partner and is married to someone else. Obviously no one knows what the future holds, but this did make the book seem a bit "off" considering what's happened in the short time since its publication!

This was a perfectly fine book to read, but it wasn't always interesting. I did come away with a sense of her being a very caring, likable person, and I wish the book had been a little more illuminating or revealing about her life and struggles. Having so much of this stay surface-level kept it as a pleasant read but not a stand-out one. ...more

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Feb 07, 2021 Kathy McC rated it really liked it

Marvelous read! I have no doubt she will be a wonderful first lady!

"There's something profoundly optimistic about teaching. We are taking the best that humans have to give-- lifetimes of knowledge, wisdom, craft, and art -- and handing it over to the next generation, with the hope that they will continue to build, continue to make our world better."

"So why do we do it? We do it for that spark in a student's eye when an idea falls into place. We do it for a moment when a student realizes she's c ...more

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Sep 04, 2020 ShirleyS rated it really liked it

Shelves: non-fiction, memoir

An informative book by Jill Biden who I really didn’t know that much about. She is an accomplished English professor and loves to teach. She also loves her family and will make an excellent First Lady!

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Oct 25, 2019 Carmi Cioni Podwojski rated it liked it

Glad to have read/audibl-ed this ahead of hearing Jill speak at WUSTL's She Leads conference TONIGHT! She was absolutely lovely in her narration of this book. HOWEVER –

I have many questions about Hunter and his crack usage / short-lived romance with Beau's widow / random fast marriage, etc. etc.

I will refrain from discussing all of the above at the conference. ...more

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Dec 07, 2020 Barb rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

A wonderful memoir read by the author that revealed a poignant intimacy of such a well known couple. Jill Biden is someone that every woman can relate to. From her childhood to 2016, she tells the story of an introverted woman who was fiercely independent but was willing to leave her comfort zone to support the man and family she loved. Her captivating prose is a reflection of her career as an educator specializing in English and literature. The chapter on her work with military families...both ...more

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Feb 06, 2021 Deanna rated it it was amazing

An engaging, well-told story of an independent woman and how she formed a family and became its glue. I expected to be interested, but didn't expect to be immersed from start to finish. ...more

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Feb 13, 2021 Stefanie Onieal rated it really liked it

Jill Biden feels like a friend. I love how she loves her family and her work. So grateful she’s our FLOTUS!

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Sep 11, 2020 Tamara Evans rated it really liked it

“Where the light enters” is an deeply personal, powerful and poignant journey of Jill Biden’s transformation from oldest daughter to second lady of the United States and grandmother. The book begins with Jill viewing a photo from her wedding day then reflecting on all the events that lead to where she is in her life.

This book is a story of Biden’s upbringing in a loving family, her educational journey as well as her romantic relationships. I was surprised to read that Biden had been married befo ...more

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May 29, 2019 Carole rated it really liked it

This was an unexpectedly charming book. Jill Biden grew up at the same time and in the same general part of suburban Philly as I did, so I could visualize a lot of times and places in her early life. I never quite realized that although I knew we were about the same age and from Phila. area. Many of our life experiences were almost identical. She must have written this shortly after the traumatic loss of Beau Biden, who sadly went way before his time, and her pain was palpable. There was so much ...more

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May 18, 2019 Susan rated it it was amazing

In this year of multiple candidates for president in the 2020 election I believe it is important to know as much as one can about the candidates, especially since the election of Trump. One way to discover who a person is can be found through the eyes of those around him. In this book we meet former second lady Jill Biden, learn of her life and her relationship with candidate Joe Biden. It was an interesting tale of a couple who have dealt with much adversity together, each always supporting the ...more

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Jun 17, 2019 Bianca rated it it was amazing

Jill Biden writes a really nice comprehensive biography covering many facets of her life. I would also like to add, this is not a political themed book and I think anyone could appreciate an enjoy her story as a person. The book itself is not very long so its an easy to finish read.
I found the most memorable bits were her describing meeting & becoming friends with the Obamas, meeting Joe Biden (and his first wife!) early on in her college life at a campaign event, her respect of the memory of V ...more

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Jul 16, 2019 Julane Alt rated it it was ok

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jun 11, 2019 Dorothea rated it liked it · review of another edition

This book just didn't do it for me. It was an easy read and finally really set up for me at the very end.

The numerous quotes by theologians, historians, etc. really disrupted the flow of the book for me. Also, the book was not chronological and skipped around time periods which made it difficult to follow who was who.

Dr. Jill Biden seems like a lovely person, but it just didn't come through in this book.

Recommend, but see the above.. ...more

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May 08, 2019 Andrew Shaffer rated it it was amazing

A fast read, very much in tune with both of Joe’s memoirs—the Bidens have their family mottos and mythologies down pat. Makes you want to be adopted by their clan or at least anointed an honorary Biden!

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Mar 18, 2019 Ampersand Inc. rated it really liked it

Shelves: jessica-s-reads

A behind the scenes and honest account from the former second lady.

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May 19, 2019 Margie Middaugh rated it liked it

Interesting to get background on her life...just seemed a bit restrained in comparison to Michele's. ...more

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May 22, 2019 Rachel rated it it was amazing

Not much to say... I like memoirs!

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About Jill Biden

Jill Biden

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Jill Biden is a community college professor and served as Second Lady of the United States from 2009 to 2017. During the Obama-Biden administration, she advocated for military families, community colleges, the fight against cancer, and the education of women and girls around the world. She continues this work today through the Biden Foundation, the Biden Cancer Initiative, and the Beau Biden Found ...more

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“Good marriages push us—not to become someone else but to become the best version of ourselves.” — 6 likes

“This is the truest thing I know: that love makes a family whole. It doesn't matter if you're blending a family with biological and nonbiological children, or healing the wounds of losing a loved one, or inviting an aging parent to live with you. The details may differ, but love is the common denominator.” — 3 likes

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